Aisling Beatha

51 before 51 list (Updated Feb 2021)

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 21:09:00 +0000

I HAD a 50 things to do before I turn 50 list, BUT this blasted pandemic got in the way. I had already completed 22 items on the list before we went into lockdown, so I have decided to rewrite the REST of the list to a list that is 51 things to do before I turn 51 and make it a more Covid suitable list. That means removing any international travel and lessening the travel within the UK too.

DONE
1. Lose 10 lbs
I had already lost 4 st 8 lbs, which is 64 lbs or 29kg. This is for extra weight lost from that point.

2. Lose 20 lbs

3. Lose 30 lbs

4. Lose 40 lbs

5. Lose 50 lbs

6. Reach Goal Weight Did that the same weekend I qualified as a WW coach. And even got a couple of pounds below it before Christmas HAPPENED.

7. Visit Amsterdam (THIS entry was changed due to the protests happening in Paris, which is what it originally said).
We visited Amsterdam for our 25th Wedding anniversary earlier this year.

8. Visit a waterfall
We did this. Made the mistake of going on the first hot bank holiday (public holiday) of the year, so it was packed. If you don't know the area there is a 4 mile road up to the falls which is single track with the occasional passing bay, most of the way. It felt like everyone and their brother had decided to visit by the time we left and were heading back down the road the other way. Scary.

BUT I absolutely loved the falls, and will definitely go again.
Pistyll Rhaeadr Falls - The tallest waterfall in Wales

9. Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points

10. Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
See point 7 above.

11. Go Horse Riding
I've been and done this once and would love to do more, but the cost involved is so high I'm not sure how to make it work regularly. My instructor on the day I went said she could not believe I have not ridden since I was 11 or 12.

12. Walk/Run a 5k
I started park run on New Years Day and have run over 10 times, volunteering 3 times, with a current PB of 31:19.

13. Walk/Run a 10k

I ran a Race For Life 10K, just a few weeks ago and am regularly running way more than 10K in training runs for the Half Marathon I'm booked for in October. Yes,ME! I'm going to be running a half marathon. That wasn't even in the very extremes of my thoughts when I made this list.

14. Eat something you think you won’t like

I don't remember where we were but hubby had piccalilli on his plate when we were out for lunch one day. I said "Eugh, I don't like that. Well, actually I don't know that I have ever tried it, or if I just convinced myself I wouldn't like it." and well once that was out of my mouth, I had to, and guess what . . . . . IT WAS OK and now we have a jar of it in the fridge.

15. Wild Swim? My friend, Sue Austin met me at a local lake that allows swimming last summer. I had the absolutely best time. Sue had to keep reminding me to breathe while we were swimming. There's loads of pond weed in the lake and the weirdest part was that feeling on my legs. It felt like it should be the start of a Dr Who episode. THANK YOU Sue.

16. Walk a Labyrinth
We walked the huge labyrinth in Milton Keynes when we were there for our anniversary earlier this year. We hadn't expected it to take so long when we started, but that thing is AROUND 1km! That's one huge labyrinth.

17. Watch a sunrise from the top of a hill.
Changing this to add - OR A SUNSET
Which means it actually now fits in the done list as we climbed the Wrekin the day after midsummer to watch the sunset.

18. Take an IRL cooking class
I'm counting this as done. The classes were done on Zoom, rather than in person physically, but they were still done in the moment and with feedback and interaction. I have been doing classes with Migrateful who train up chefs from all over the world who are Refugees, Asylum Seekers and Refugees.
So far I have done classes in the cuisine of Angola, Ethiopia, Lebanon, Nepal and Syria and I have loved every single moment of them!

19. Bake a rainbow unicorn cake

20. Attend a live sporting event.
Hmmmm, does TAKING PART in a major half marathon count? YES it does and I am counting that!

21. Run a Half Marathon

While the half marathon mentioned above was cut short because of an abandoned vehicle on the route, I did later complete a social run of the route of the half marathon that the running club I am part of , Telford Harriers, organizes every year. BTW if you are looking for an awesome medal and technical t-shirt, this year's Ironbridge Half Marathon is now being run virtually and you can enter even if you can't come to Telford for it.

22. Move eldest son into a permanent home of his own
DONE done done done! So proud of him!

23. Make more crafty gifts.

A conversation from last year and something that happened this week made me realise that you never know the impact those gits have, especially when they are made and chosen with care and intention.

24. Either do a driving experience on a track OR hire a classic car for a day and just DRIVE.

The Morgan Driving Experience. It was an awesome day and I absolutely adored my time driving this beauty. Just sad we didn't get any decent photos or get to drive with the top down for long because it rained horrendously most of the day.

25. Attend a Cacao Ceremony or other witchy type gathering.

26. Trail Run

Absolutely fantastic day running in the hills between lockdowns with a group of people led by my personal trainer of Beyond Fitness.

27. Belly Dance Class

STILL TO BE COMPLETED

28. Read 50 books

Now actually 51 and I am well on the way to completing that list before the time is up.

29. Complete a 25km hike in one day

We already did over 18km on one day when we walked the full circuit at Lake Vrynwy, so I know it's do-able.

30. Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.

31. Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

Every CPAP clinic appointment until 2017 has come with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I? My appt in 2019 came with a very shocked nurse who came into the waiting room to call me and did a double take because she couldn't quite believe it. HOWEVER the 2021 clinic appts have all been cancelled, so I have no idea how and when I am going to be able to get my sleep study re-done in order to be allowed to hand it back.

32. Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover

If I reach goal weight, I think that will deserve a full on makeover and photo shoot.

33. Visit Keil Hill in Scotland

Family will understand why.

34. See the Northern Lights (or should this be a bucket list item?)

At certain times of the year and in the right weather conditions it is possible to see the Northern Lights from Scotland or even Northern England, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a bucket list item.

35. Watch a Meteor shower

I keep trying but clouds get in the way, SIGH

36. Climb Snowdon

37. Learn some basic BSL – at least enough to be able to say something like “I only understand a little, but can I help?”

I am signed up to an online course but haven't actually done any work towards it, oooops.

38. Get a small tattoo

I have some temporary tattoos in different sizes of the design I want. I just have to figure out when to get it done in relation to the races I have booked and what size to get it done. I know I might need to change it to a simpler font in order for it to be clear when placed across my calf. I have had to hold off on this because of the lockdown situations, but do need to start researching local artists to dee who I want to go to.

39. Complete every lesson in a year long online art class. (By “complete” I mean at least engage with the lesson in some way and make an attempt to do something with it)

I signed up for Lifebook in 2018. I did OK, until about September and then I got off track.

This year I am participating in both Book of Days and Moonshine by Effy Wild and do hope to complete the year.

40. Sell a piece of art work
Anyone want to buy anything you have seen me share on Instagram or Facebook?
Seriously!

41. Create and Maintain a weekly letter writing practise
I'm thinking about treating myself to The Letter Writers Complete Resource from The Postman's Knock to get myself started.
ooooooooops, yeah, this one isn't going so well . . . . . .

42. Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)

Trying to do this during lockdown would have been too difficult, so I may have to do this for someone else's birthday.

43. Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)

44. Picnic under the stars

45. Go Paddle Boarding

My awesome personal trainer, Emily at Beyond Fitness has said she might take me.

46. Go to Bounce Below, the awesome underground net adventure.

I don't want to go alone, and no one in the family seems to be up for it, BUT Emily has said she will go with me, so that's cool!

47. Do one of the zipwires run by the same company as Bounce Below.

Initially I had said I wanted to do Titan, which is on the same site as Bounce Below, because it is a seated zipwire:

But Emily has persuaded me (I think) that the lying face down zipwire, Velocity 2 is not as scary as I think it is, so it looks like it will be that one!

48. Donate Blood

I used to be excluded because of the medication I am on, BUT now I can as long as my dose hasn't been changed in the month prior to donation. I'm just waiting for an appt slot to come up as all the local sessions are booked up.

49. Visit the Museum of Witchcraft in Boscastle.

HOWEVER, because of the nature of the site, and the social distancing currently required by government rules they are currently still closed until further notice.

50. Lift ___kg at the gym

With the further lockdowns since I last updated this list, this one will probably need to be swapped out for something else.

51. Axe Throwing session (or a smash room, that would be cool too)

So that's it. I have around 49 weeks to make all that happen.

51 books before I turn 51 (Updated Feb 2021)

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 20:43:00 +0000

A couple of years ago I made a list of 50 things to do before my 50th birthday. Then a global pandemic came along and I had to adjust my list to be 51 things to do before my 51st birthday. One of the items on the original list was to read 50 books. I have switched that to 51 books to match the other list, and here is my list as it stands so far.

BOOKS FINISHED SO FAR
1. Motel of the Mysteries ~David Macaulcay

I bought this at Christmas as a gift for my son who has recently finished a Masters Degree in Archaeology. We had been talking about the things archaeologists say about their finds that seem like assumptions to me, but my son was explaining how they can know what even a tiny piece of something is. This book is set in the future, and is about an archaeologist who comes across a motel somewhere in what we know as America and all the assumptions that he makes about what he finds. It is quite funny to think about what we will leave behind and what future people groups would make of them if they rediscovered them as an archaeologist would. I enjoyed this book.

2. Searching for Sunday ~Rachel Held Evans

Like millions of her millennial peers, Rachel Held Evans didn't want to go to church anymore. The hypocrisy, the politics, the gargantuan building budgets, the scandals--church culture seemed so far removed from Jesus. Yet, despite her cynicism and misgivings, something kept drawing her back to Church. And so she set out on a journey to understand Church and to find her place in it.
I didn't ENJOY this book as much as I had hoped to, but that may be because I never managed to get through it in one straight run. I kept putting it down and coming back to it weeks and weeks later.

3. The Stolen Marriage ~Diane Chamberlain

I picked this up because the Kindle Version was on offer. Check it out, it is a good read. There's so much I could say about it but I don't want to spoil the mystery.

In 1944, Tess DeMello abruptly ends her engagement to the love of her life, marries a mysterious stranger and moves to Hickory, North Carolina. Tess’s new husband, Henry Kraft, is a secretive man who often stays out all night and Tess quickly comes to realize that she is now trapped in a strange and loveless marriage.

4. How to be Champion ~Sarah Millican

Part autobiography, part self help book, part confessional, with all the humour we have come to expect from Sarah Millican. This book made me laugh out loud more than once.

5. The Golden Acorn ~Catherine Cooper

I picked it up because my son recommended it as a book by a local author and I was not disappointed.

The Golden Acorn is the first book in the Jack Brenin series. Book 1 can be read as a stand alone or as the first book in an ongoing adventure. Once you've read this book we're sure you'll want to read more about Jack Brenin and the magical 'Otherworld' he becomes involved in.

6. In The Sanctuary of Women ~ Jan L Richardson

A book of reflections on women. Some are women I am familiar with through the bible, others are women I am familiar with through church history, others still were not familiar to me before reading this book. If you are a woman on a spiritual journey, Jan's writing is well written, thoughtful and comes from a place of understanding from her own experience that life isn't all sunny.

7. The Early Classics of Agatha Christie

If you like Agatha Christie's later writing, try and find a copy of this anthology of some of her earlier stories. There is an early Poirot story as well as some of her stories that were not part of a series.

8. Room ~ Emma Donoghue

If you have ever watched the news stories of people who have been kidnapped and kept captive for many years and wondered what life is like behind those closed doors, then this novel is a great insight into what it might be like.
Jack lives with his Ma in Room. Room has a single locked door and a skylight, and it measures ten feet by ten feet. Jack loves watching TV but he knows that nothing he sees on the screen is truly real – only him, Ma and the things in Room. Until the day Ma admits there is a world outside.
Having read this book, I have refused to watch the movie based on it, as the book has already made the story far too real.

9. The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathan Fairfax

I picked this up on a 99p Kindle deal and loved it. It made me laugh so many times and read out pieces to my family to explain why I was laughing.
When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government.
If you have read any of the Douglas Adams Dirk Gently books and enjoyed them, I think you will like this one too.

10. The Sewing Machine

Sometimes I struggle with books written with shifting perspective, BUT this one is so well written and did such a good job of gripping my attention that I did not want to put it down. And truly, I never saw that ending coming, until right before it was revealed.
It is 1911, and Jean is about to join the mass strike at the Singer factory. For her, nothing will be the same again.
Decades later, in Edinburgh, Connie sews coded moments of her life into a notebook, as her mother did before her.
More than 100 years after his grandmother's sewing machine was made, Fred discovers a treasure trove of documents. His family history is laid out before him in a patchwork of unfamiliar handwriting and colourful seams. He starts to unpick the secrets of four generations, one stitch at a time.

11. I am Malala

Have you ever wondered about the story behind the young woman who stood up for the rights of girls everywhere to be educated? This book takes us from her childhood home through the growing influence of the Taliban, on to the day when she was shot, and her move to Birmingham, England for treatment and recovery.

12. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Because - WHY NOT

13. A Book of Nonsense by Edward Lear

Meh. I expected more from this but found it monotonous and repetitive.

14. Shalom Sistas

Taking readers through the twelve points of the Shalom Sistas' Manifesto, Osheta Moore experiments with practices of everyday peacemaking and invites readers to do the same. From dropping "love bombs" on a family vacation, to talking to the coach who called her son the n-word, to spreading shalom with a Swiffer, Moore offers bold steps for crossing lines between black and white, suburban and urban, rich and poor.

15. Walking the English Coast

Liz is the wife of a local church minister and I was part of the launch team for this book. There were parts that have really encouraged me, parts I have struggled with and parts where I have uttered out loud "THIS is what I'm talking about, why don't people get it?"

17. Becoming Friends of Time: Disability, Timefullness, and Gentle Discipleship

Swinton wrestles with critical questions that emerge from theological reflection on time and disability: rethinking doctrine for those who can never grasp Jesus with their intellects; reimagining discipleship and vocation for those who have forgotten who Jesus is; reconsidering salvation for those who, due to neurological damage, can be one person at one time and then be someone else in an instant.

19. Finding God in the Margins: The Book of Ruth

In four short episodes we encounter refugees, undocumented immigrants, poverty, hunger, women's rights, male power and privilege, discrimination, and injustice.
In Finding God in the Margins, Carolyn Custis James reveals how the book of Ruth is about God, the questions that surface when life falls apart, and how he reaches into the margins and chooses two totally marginalized women who in the eyes of the patriarchal culture are zeros.
I love the comparison between the story of Naomi and the story of Job. Both lost everything, but Naomi also lost her spouse and as a widow in a patriarchal society had no way of gaining back any of what she had lost, whereas Job would have been able to at least try.

21. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

I have read this book before, when I was at my friend Dana's house in America some years ago and I LOVED IT. I still haven't watched the movie, and I re read the book in advance of watching it (which I still haven't done, oops).

22. Embracing the Body: Finding God in Our Flesh and Bone

I won a copy of this book a few years ago and didn't finish reading it at the time. I decided to go back and finish it.
Our bodies are more good than we can possibly imagine them to be. And yet at times we may struggle with feelings of shame and guilt or even pride in regard to our bodies. What is God trying to do through our skin and bones?
In Embracing the Body spiritual director Tara Owens invites you to listen to your thoughts about your body in a way that draws you closer to God, calling you to explore how your spirituality is intimately tied to your physicality. Using exercises for reflection at the end of each chapter, she guides you to see your body not as an inconvenience but as a place where you can meet the Holy in a new way―a place to embrace God's glorious intention.

You are definitely going to see a shift away from the Christian side of spiritual books in the rest of the list, there are very clear reasons for that which I won't go into here.

23. Little Miss Busy - Surviving Motherhood

24. A Ladybird Book About Donald Trump

Yes these are both picture books, but they are fun and I did read them. The ladybird book is filled with gems like "Donald likes the cat. Donald likes to touch the cat. But Donald accidentally tells a television presenter he likes to touch the cat. Now Donald is in trouble. Donald does not understand."

25. Once Upon a Time in Birmingham - Women Who Dared to Dream

I grew up in Birmingham and this book is full of the stories of thirty of Birmingham's most awe-inspiring women, past and present.

26. Rotherweird

Listened to this on Audible and it is BRILLIANT. This is what kept me going through a half marathon training and eventual virtual race.

The town of Rotherweird stands alone - there are no guidebooks, despite the fascinating and diverse architectural styles cramming the narrow streets, the avant-garde science and offbeat customs. Cast adrift from the rest of England by Elizabeth I, Rotherweird's independence is subject to one disturbing condition: nobody, but nobody, studies the town or its history.

For beneath the enchanting surface lurks a secret so dark that it must never be rediscovered, still less reused.

But secrets have a way of leaking out.

27. The Midnight Library

Thirty-four-year-old Nora's life could be better. She's lonely, single and has just lost her job. Her cat dying feels like the last straw. What else is there to live for? Then she finds a library between life and death where she gets to try all the other lives she could have lived.

The Midnight Library is a gloriously relatable novel about life, death and the in-between. It is about finding hope, playing chess, dumping regrets and picking the right people around you.

28. Disobedience

Another one I listened to on Audible and absolutely loved. My son says I should watch the movie, but I'm not sure if I want to, because I don't want to spoil my memories of the book and the real story.

In a cramped synagogue in north-west London, the eminent elderly rabbi passes away. On the other side of the Atlantic, his estranged daughter, Ronit, hears of her father's death and returns to London for the funeral. She has not returned home in 15 years.

Ronit looks forward to a week or two of revisiting old friends, perhaps settling old scores. But she finds the community she grew up in a more confusing place than she'd anticipated. Particularly when she is unexpectedly reunited with Esti, her childhood sweetheart, who has taken a very different path in life....

29. Over the Top - My Story

Before he stole our hearts as the grooming and self-care expert on Netflix’s hit show Queer Eye, Jonathan was growing up in a small Midwestern town that didn’t understand why he was so...over the top. From choreographed carpet figure skating routines to the unavoidable fact that he was Just. So. Gay., Jonathan was an easy target and endured years of judgment, ridicule and trauma - yet none of it crushed his uniquely effervescent spirit.

30. Naturally Tan: A Memoir

In this heartfelt, funny, touching memoir, Tan France, star of Netflix’s Emmy award-winning Queer Eye, tells his origin story for the first time. With his trademark wit, humour and radical compassion, Tan reveals what it was like to grow up gay in a traditional South Asian family, as one of the few people of colour in South Yorkshire. He illuminates his winding journey of coming of age, finding his voice (and style!) and happily marrying the love of his life - a Mormon cowboy from Salt Lake City.

I think I am going to have to work my way through the memoirs of all 5 of the fab five, I have loved these two so much.

31. The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices

This book is so flipping amazing that I actually have a copy of it in print, on Kindle AND on audible! It's THAT good.

In The Power of Ritual, ter Kuile invites us to deepen these ordinary practices as intentional rituals that nurture connection and wellbeing. With wisdom and endearing wit, ter Kuile’s call for ritual is ultimately a call to heal our loss of connection to ourselves, to others, and to our spiritual identities.

The Power of Ritual reminds us that what we already do every day matters―and has the potential to become a powerful experience of reflection, sanctuary, and meaning.

32. Somebody I used to know

Probably the most moving book I have read in a long time. When Wendy Mitchell was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 58, she had to say good-bye to the woman she once was. Her career in the NHS, her ability to drive, cook and run - the various shades of her independence - were suddenly gone. Yet Wendy was determined not to give in. She was, and still is, propelled by a need to live in the moment, never knowing which version of herself might surface tomorrow.
In this phenomenal memoir - the first of its kind - Wendy grapples with questions most of us have never had to consider. What do you value when loss of memory reframes what you have, how you have lived and what you stand to lose? What happens when you can no longer recognise your own daughters or even, on the foggiest of days, yourself?

33. Becoming

Wow. That is all, just WOW.

34. The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse

If I could recommend only one book from this list for you to read it would be this one. And if you don't follow the author on instagram, go do it.
Enter the world of Charlie's four unlikely friends, discover their story and their most important life lessons.

35. Cook Once, Eat All Week

Cook Once, Eat All Week is a meal prep approach that helps you create a week's worth of meals without having to spend an entire day cooking. This book walks you through how to transform one protein and a couple of vegetables prepared in bulk each week into fresh, delicious, diverse meals.

36. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

37. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

38. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

39. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I'm not going to write about them because I don't want to give THAT WOMAN any publicity. My recommendation if you want to read them is find a copy second hand or borrow them from the library, don't put any money into her hands! That would also be why I haven't continued the re read through the remaining books, I cannot bring myself to.

40. Don't Stop Me Now: 26.2 Tales of a Runner's Obsession

Vassos Alexander shares the highs and lows of falling in love with running, from his first paltry efforts to reach the end of his street to completing ultra-marathons and triathlons in the same weekend. This is a celebration of running - and what lots of us think about when we run. Part escape, part self-discovery, part therapy, part weight loss. Part simple childlike joy of running when you could be walking. Each of the 26.2 chapters also features a fascinating insight into how others first started - from Paula Radcliffe to Steve Cram, the Brownlees to Jenson Button, Nicky Campbell to Nell McAndrew.

41. Just One Damned Thing After Another: The Chronicles of St Mary's, Book 1

The first book in the best-selling Chronicles of St Mary's series which follows a group of tea-soaked disaster magnets as they hurtle their way around History. Time Travel meets History in this explosive bestselling adventure series.

'So tell me, Dr Maxwell, if the whole of History lay before you...where would you go? What would you like to witness?'
When Madeleine Maxwell is recruited by the St Mary's Institute of Historical Research, she discovers the historians there don't just study the past - they revisit it.

But one wrong move and History will fight back - to the death. And she soon discovers it's not just History she's fighting....

42. Good Omens

The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655.

The armies of Good and Evil are amassing, and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist.

Put New York Times best-selling authors Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett together...and all Hell breaks loose.

The Books I have Started but Not Yet Finished

43. Dear Life: A Doctor’s Story of Love and Loss

Dear Life is the inspiring, sometimes heartbreaking and yet deeply uplifting story of the doctor we would all want to have by our side in a crisis. The hospice where Rachel works is, of course, a world haunted by loss and grief, but it is also teeming with life.

If there is a difference between people who know they are dying and the rest of us, it is simply this: that the terminally ill know their time is running out, while we live as though we have all the time in the world. In a hospice, therefore, there is more of what matters in life - more love, more strength, more kindness, more smiles, more dignity, more joy, more tenderness, more grace, more compassion - than you could ever imagine.

Dear Life is a love letter - to a father, to a profession, to life itself.

44. The Foundling
London, 1754. Six years after leaving her illegitimate daughter, Clara, at London's Foundling Hospital, Bess Bright returns to reclaim the child she has never known. Dreading the worst, that Clara has died in care, she is astonished when she is told she has already claimed her. Her life is turned upside down as she tries to find out who has taken her little girl - and why.

45. The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma

What causes people to continually relive what they most want to forget and what treatments could help restore them to a life with purpose and joy?

In this audiobook, Dr Bessel van der Kolk offers a new paradigm for effectively treating traumatic stress.

Neither talking nor drug therapies have proven entirely satisfactory. With stories of his own work and those of specialists around the globe, The Body Keeps the Score sheds new light on the routes away from trauma - which lie in the regulation and syncing of body and mind, using sport, drama, yoga, mindfulness, meditation and other routes to equilibrium.

46. The Modern Witch's Guide to Magickal Self-Care

Cottage witch Tenae Stewart guides readers through finding the forms of self-care that really resonate with them and discovering what kinds of nourishment are essential to fulfill everyone's unique needs. Learn how to create a self-care practice that honors the needs of your mind, body, and spirit as well as come to understand your unique self-care style through astrology!

47. Curative Magic: A Witch's Guide to Self-Discovery, Care and Healing

Tap into the power of nature and learn how to unleash your inner magic to navigate modern-day life and the issues the universe throws at you. Curative Magic shows you how to work with the tools that witchcraft provides, including spells, rituals, and herbs as well as meditation and recipes. Nature is incredibly clever plants, herbs, crystals, and other natural materials can improve spells, provide guidance, enhance your personal health, and help you work through life's challenges. Kitchen witch and author Rachel Patterson shares her own experiences, personal rituals, recipes, and remedies to help you manage depression, anxiety, insomnia, ailments, and many other common issues we confront.

48. Re-Bound: Creating Handmade Books from Recycled and Repurposed Materials

Re-Bound shows readers how to take every day materials from around the house, flea markets and thrift stores, and hardware and office supply stores, and turn them into fabulous books. In Re-Bound, a vintage souvenir wallet becomes a photo album. Last year's trendy sweater becomes a take-along journal. Even crisp bags get a second life as a handy pocket notebook. This fun pursuit is economical as well as ecological. A variety of attractive, uncomplicated bindings, how-to instructions, and step-outs bring each project to life.

49. Toksvig's Almanac 2021: An Eclectic Meander Through the Historical Year

Let Sandi Toksvig guide you on an eclectic meander through the calendar, illuminating neglected corners of history to tell tales of the fascinating figures you didn't learn about at school.

From revolutionary women to serial killers, pirate nuns to pioneering civil rights activists, doctors to dancing girls, artists to astronauts, these pages commemorate women from all around the world who were pushed to the margins of historical record. Amuse your bouche with:

Belle Star, American Bandit Queen
Lady Murasaki, author of the world's first novel
Madame Ching, the most successful pirate of all time
Maud Wagner, the first female tattoo artist
Begum Samru, Indian dancer and ruler who led an army of mercenaries
Inês de Castro, crowned Queen Consort of Portugal six years after her death
Ida B. Wells, activist, suffragist, journalist and co-founder of the NAACP
Eleanor G. Holm, disqualified from the 1936 Berlin Olympics for drinking too much champagne

These stories are interspersed with helpful tips for the year, such as the month in which one is most likely to be eaten by a wolf, and the best time to sharpen your sickle. Explore a host of annual events worth travelling for, from the Olney Pancake Race in Wiltshire to the Danish Herring Festival, or who would want to miss Serbia's World Testicle Cooking Championship?

As witty and entertaining as it is instructive, Toksvig's Almanac is an essential companion to each day of the year.

50. A Year and a Day of Everyday Witchcraft: 366 Ways to Witchify Your Life

Connect with your witchy self every day using small, easy, and fun practices. This book features quick and meaningful ways to integrate witchcraft into your daily life, inspiring you to take your magick to a new level whether you're a beginning or experienced practitioner.

Deborah Blake guides you on a journey through the Wheel of the Year, providing witchy wisdom, affirmations, spells, questions to ponder, and much more. From connecting with nature to connecting with deities, A Year and a Day of Everyday Witchcraft explores a variety of modern Pagan practices to help you get more in touch with your personal path of witchcraft.

51. Moonology: Working with the Magic of Lunar Cycles

Yasmin Boland unveils:

• why connecting with the moon can change your life for the better
• powerful rituals and ceremonies for each moon phase
• how the moon connects us to nature and the cosmos
• how to work out where the moon is in each cycle
• international New Moon and Full Moon dates for the next 10 years

You will also learn affirmations, visualizations, and chants to use during each phase of the moon, and will discover the role of Angels, Goddesses, and Ascended Masters during the New and Full Moons. This is a book for all those wishing to deepen their connection with nature and take their spiritual practice to a new level.

OF COURSE THAT IS NOT THE END , there are so many others, a whole mountain of Books To Be Read (otherwise known as Mt TBR) I have a kindle library that is so big because I keep grabbing books when they come up on amazing offers.

51 books before I am 51 (updated list)

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 13:24:00 +0000

A book of reflections on women. Some are women I am familiar with through the bible, others are women I am familiar with through church history, others still weere not familiar to me before reading this book. If you are a woman on a spiritual journey, Jan's writing is well written, thoughtful and comes from a place of understanding from her own experience that life isn't all sunny.

7. The Early Classics of Agatha Christie

If you like Agatha Christie's later writing, try and find a copy of this anthology of someof her earlier stories. There is an early Poirot story as well as some of her stories that were not part of a series.

8. Room ~ Emma Donoghue

Because - WHY NOT

13. A Book of Nonsense by Edward Lear

Meh. I expected more from this but found it monotonous and repetitive.

14. Shalom Sistas

Whether you are planning to walk the English coast or just tackle some other long distance walk in the UK, this book has much advice to offer. For the record, yes I'd love to the coast walk do but since I can't wild camp (sleep apnoea means I need electrical power at night) it is going to take a bit more planning.

As I said at the beginning of this post I should have read 13 books since the beginning of the year in order to be on track with this, so I'm doing OK so far, in fact, I'm a little ahead of the schedule.

16. Catching Contentment

24. A Ladybird Book About Donald Trump

I grew up in Birmingham and this book is full of the stories of thirty of Birmingham's most awe-inspiring women, past and present.

26. Rotherweird

Listened to this on Audible and it is BRILLIANT. This is what kept me going through a half marathon training and eventual virtual race.

The town of Rotherweird stands alone - there are no guidebooks, despite the fascinating and diverse architectural styles cramming the narrow streets, the avant-garde science and offbeat customs. Cast adrift from the rest of England by Elizabeth I, Rotherweird's independence is subject to one disturbing condition: nobody, but nobody, studies the town or its history.

For beneath the enchanting surface lurks a secret so dark that it must never be rediscovered, still less reused.

But secrets have a way of leaking out.

27. The Midnight Library

The Midnight Library is a gloriously relatable novel about life, death and the in-between. It is about finding hope, playing chess, dumping regrets and picking the right people around you.

28. Disobedience

In a cramped synagogue in north-west London, the eminent elderly rabbi passes away. On the other side of the Atlantic, his estranged daughter, Ronit, hears of her father's death and returns to London for the funeral. She has not returned home in 15 years.

Ronit looks forward to a week or two of revisiting old friends, perhaps settling old scores. But she finds the community she grew up in a more confusing place than she'd anticipated. Particularly when she is unexpectedly reunited with Esti, her childhood sweetheart, who has taken a very different path in life....

29. Over the Top - My Story

Before he stole our hearts as the grooming and self-care expert on Netflix’s hit show Queer Eye, Jonathan was growing up in a small Midwestern town that didn’t understand why he was so...over the top. From choreographed carpet figure skating routines to the unavoidable fact that he was Just. So. Gay., Jonathan was an easy target and endured years of judgment, ridicule and trauma - yet none of it crushed his uniquely effervescent spirit.

30. Naturally Tan: A Memoir

In this heartfelt, funny, touching memoir, Tan France, star of Netflix’s Emmy award-winning Queer Eye, tells his origin story for the first time. With his trademark wit, humour and radical compassion, Tan reveals what it was like to grow up gay in a traditional South Asian family, as one of the few people of colour in South Yorkshire. He illuminates his winding journey of coming of age, finding his voice (and style!) and happily marrying the love of his life - a Mormon cowboy from Salt Lake City.

I think I am going to have to work my way through the memoirs of all 5 of the fab five, I have loved these two so much.

31. The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices

This book is so flipping amazing that I actually have a copy of it in print, on Kindle AND on audible! It's THAT good.

In The Power of Ritual, ter Kuile invites us to deepen these ordinary practices as intentional rituals that nurture connection and wellbeing. With wisdom and endearing wit, ter Kuile’s call for ritual is ultimately a call to heal our loss of connection to ourselves, to others, and to our spiritual identities.

The Power of Ritual reminds us that what we already do every day matters―and has the potential to become a powerful experience of reflection, sanctuary, and meaning.

32. Somebody I used to know

In this phenomenal memoir - the first of its kind - Wendy grapples with questions most of us have never had to consider. What do you value when loss of memory reframes what you have, how you have lived and what you stand to lose? What happens when you can no longer recognise your own daughters or even, on the foggiest of days, yourself?

33. Becoming

Wow. That is all, just WOW.

34. The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse

35. Cook Once, Eat All Week

36. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

37. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

38. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

39. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

The Books I have Started but Not Yet Finished

40. The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma

What causes people to continually relive what they most want to forget and what treatments could help restore them to a life with purpose and joy?

In this audiobook, Dr Bessel van der Kolk offers a new paradigm for effectively treating traumatic stress.

Neither talking nor drug therapies have proven entirely satisfactory. With stories of his own work and those of specialists around the globe, The Body Keeps the Score sheds new light on the routes away from trauma - which lie in the regulation and syncing of body and mind, using sport, drama, yoga, mindfulness, meditation and other routes to equilibrium.

41. The Modern Witch's Guide to Magickal Self-Care

42. Curative Magic: A Witch's Guide to Self-Discovery, Care and Healing

43. Re-Bound: Creating Handmade Books from Recycled and Repurposed Materials

44. Don't Stop Me Now: 26.2 Tales of a Runner's Obsession

STILL Sitting in Mt TBR (mountain To Be Read)

45. My Name Is Why

At the age of seventeen, after a childhood in a foster family followed by six years in care homes, Norman Greenwood was given his birth certificate. He learned that his real name was not Norman. It was Lemn Sissay. He was British and Ethiopian. And he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe return to her since his birth.

46. Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race

The book that sparked a national conversation. Exploring everything from eradicated black history to the inextricable link between class and race, Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race is the essential handbook for anyone who wants to understand race relations in Britain today.

47. My Sister, the Serial Killer

When Korede's dinner is interrupted one night by a distress call from her sister, Ayoola, she knows what's expected of her: bleach, rubber gloves, nerves of steel and a strong stomach. This'll be the third boyfriend Ayoola's dispatched in, quote, self-defence and the third mess that her lethal little sibling has left Korede to clear away. She should probably go to the police for the good of the menfolk of Nigeria, but she loves her sister and, as they say, family always comes first. Until, that is, Ayoola starts dating the doctor where Korede works as a nurse. Korede's long been in love with him, and isn't prepared to see him wind up with a knife in his back: but to save one would mean sacrificing the other...

48. Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance

The son of a black African father and a white American mother, President Obama recounts an emotional odyssey. He retraces the migration of his mother's family from Kansas to Hawaii, then to his childhood home in Indonesia. Finally he travels to Kenya, where he confronts the bitter truth of his father's life and at last reconciles his divided inheritance.

49. The Foundling

London, 1754. Six years after leaving her illegitimate daughter, Clara, at London's Foundling Hospital, Bess Bright returns to reclaim the child she has never known. Dreading the worst, that Clara has died in care, she is astonished when she is told she has already claimed her. Her life is turned upside down as she tries to find out who has taken her little girl - and why.

50. Untamed: Stop Pleasing, Start Living

I'm a big Glennon Doyle fan and when my son told me this had come up on a really good kindle offer I had to pick it up. Looking forward to this one greatly.
Part inspiration, part memoir, Untamed explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet the expectations of the world, and instead dare to listen to and trust in the voice deep inside us.

51. Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A little book of festive joy

This is the most recent book I bought. I have the Kindle edition and am looking forward to digging into it over the festive season.

OF COURSE THAT IS NOT THE END of Mt TBR, there are so many others, I have a kindle library that is so big because I keep grabbing books when they come up on amazing offers.

You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.

51 B4 51 list (Covid Version)

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 20:42:00 +0000

9. Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points

10. Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
See point 7 above.

12. Walk/Run a 5k
I started park run on New Years Day and have run over 10 times, volunteering 3 times, with a current PB of 31:19.

13. Walk/Run a 10k

14. Eat something you think you won’t like

19. Bake a rainbow unicorn cake

20. Attend a live sporting event.
Hmmmm, does TAKING PART in a major half marathon count? YES it does and I am counting that!

21. Run a Half Marathon

STILL TO BE COMPLETED

23. Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.

24. Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

Every CPAP clinic appointment until 2017 has come with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I? My appt in 2019 came with a very shocked nurse who came into the waiting room to call me and did a double take because she couldn't quite believe it. HOWEVER the 2021 clinic appts have all been cancelled, so I have no idea how and when I am going to be able to get my sleep study re-done in order to be allowed to hand it back.

25. Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover

If I reach goal weight, I think that will deserve a full on makeover and photo shoot.

26. Visit Keil Hill in Scotland

Family will understand why.

27. See the Northern Lights (or should this be a bucket list item?)

29. Complete a 25km hike in one day
Easily combined with one of the other items on this list, probably a National Parks visit. We already did over 18km on one day when we walked the full circuit at Lake Vrynwy, so I know it's do-able.

30. Climb Snowdon

31. Learn some basic BSL – at least enough to be able to say something like “I only understand a little, but can I help?”

I am signed up to an online course but haven't actually done any work towards it, oooops.

32. Get a small tattoo

. Complete every lesson in a year long online art class. (By “complete” I mean at least engage with the lesson in some way and make an attempt to do something with it)

I signed up for Lifebook in 2018. I'm did OK, until about September and then I got off track but the classes are all still there and I will be going back and working on them at some point.

34. Sell a piece of art work
Anyone want to buy anything you have seen me share on Instagram or Facebook?

35. Create and Maintain a weekly letter writing practise
I'm thinking about treating myself to The Letter Writers Complete Resource from The Postman's Knock to get myself started.
ooooooooops, yeah, this one isn't going so well . . . . . .

36. Read 50 books

Or should I make this 51? I'll be honest I haven't really kept track, so I will need to look back and see if I can figure out where I am up to.

37. Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)

38. Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)

39. Picnic under the stars

40. Make more crafty gifts.
A conversation from last year and something that happened this week made me realise that you never know the impact those gits have, especially when they are made and chosen with care and intention.

All the following entries are the ones that are newly added in this reworking of the list.

41. G0 Paddle Boarding

My awesome personal trainer, Emily at Beyond Fitness has said she might take me.

42. Go to Bounce Below, the awesome underground net adventure.

I don't want to go alone, and no one in the family seems to be up for it, BUT Emily has said she will go with me, so that's cool!

43. Do one of the zipwires run by the same company as Bounce Below.

Initially I had said I wanted to do Titan, which is on the same site as Bounce Below, because it is a seated zipwire:

But Emily has persuaded me (I think) that the lying face down zipwire, Velocity 2 is not as scary as I think it is, so it looks like it will be that one!

44. Either do a driving experience on a track OR hire a classic car for a day and just DRIVE.

I think I know which one we are going to do and I am trying to organise it for soon, since this is something we can do and not have to worry about social distancing. The Morgan Driving Experience.

45. Donate Blood

46. Attend a Cacao Ceremony or other witchy type gathering.

47. Visit the Museum of Witchcraft in Boscastle.

HOWEVER, because of the nature of the site, and the social distancing currently required by government rules they are currently still closed until further notice.

48. Trail Run

Another one which Emily has said she will help me with. I do have a pair of trail shoes but they have never been worn because I got injured a few weeks before my first trail run race, :-(

49. Belly Dance Class

I am booked to attend a belly dance Full Moon Fusion Class the day after typing this list up, so that will be done soon.

50. Lift ___kg at the gym

I am cancelling my gym membership BUT Emily has access to a couple of spaces we can use, so maybe at some point we can set a number and work towards it.

51. __________________________?

I still need to add that one final item, but I have run out of ideas.

So that's it. I have around 75 weeks to make all that happen.

50 b4 50 - 55 WEEKS left to complete the list - YIKES

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 01 Jan 2020 14:01:00 +0000

The latest on my list of 50 Things to do Before I Turn 50. This is the state of play on New Years Day 2020

DONE (or about to be done)
1. Lose 10 lbs
I had already lost 4 st 8 lbs, which is 64 lbs or 29kg. This is for extra weight lost from that point.

2. Lose 20 lbs

3. Lose 30 lbs

4. Lose 40 lbs

5. Lose 50 lbs

6. Reach Goal Weight Did that the same weekend I qualified as a WW coach. And even got a couple of pounds below it before Christmas HAPPENED.

12. Visit Amsterdam (THIS entry was changed due to the protests happening in Paris, which is what it originally said).
We visited Amsterdam for our 25th Wedding anniversary earlier this year.

18. Visit a waterfall
We did this. Made the mistake of going on the first hot bank holiday (public holiday) of the year, so it was packed. If you don't know the area there is a 4 mile road up to the falls which is single track with the occasional passing bay, most of the way. It felt like everyone and their brother had decided to visit by the time we left and were heading back down the road the other way. Scary.

BUT I absolutely loved the falls, and will definitely go again.
Pistyll Rhaeadr Falls - The tallest waterfall in Wales

19. Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points

25. Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
See point 12 above.

27. Go Horse Riding
I've been and done this once and would love to do more, but the cost involved is so high I'm not sure how to make it work regularly. My instructor on the day I went said she could not believe I have not ridden since I was 11 or 12.

28. Walk/Run a 5k
I started park run on New Years Day and have run over 10 times, volunteering 3 times, with a current PB of 31:19.

29. Walk/Run a 10k

38. Eat something you think you won’t like

41. Wild Swim? My friend, Sue Austin met me at a local lake that allows swimming last summer. I had the absolutely best time. Sue had to keep reminding me to breathe while we were swimming. There's loads of pond weed in the lake and the weirdest part was that feeling on my legs. It felt like it should be the start of a Dr Who episode. THANK YOU Sue.

43. Walk a Labyrinth
We walked the huge labyrinth in Milton Keynes when we were there for our anniversary earlier this year. We hadn't expected it to take so long when we started, but that thing is AROUND 1km! That's one huge labyrinth.

Sometimes circumstances change and items need to be changed and/or removed from the list

30. Move House yeah, as much as we wanted this, it just isn't going to happen for now
so it will become
30. Run a Half Marathon - I am booked for Liverpool in May and Birmingham in October.

31. Get a Dog (rescue) with my adult younger son having chronic illness that really complicates things we have decided that this is not going to happen for now. So this will become:
31.

MAIN LIST

7. Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.

8. Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

Every CPAP clinic appointment until 2017 has come with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I? My appt in 2019 came with a very shocked nurse who came into the waiting room to call me and did a double take because she couldn't quite believe it.

9. Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover

If I reach goal weight, I think that will deserve a full on makeover and photo shoot.

10. Move eldest son into a permanent home of his own
He's currently working as a kind of intern with a Christian performing arts ministry and still has a room here at home. It would be a big deal for him to move on from there and into a home of his own.

11. Visit Keil Hill in Scotland

Family will understand why.

13. See Dana again (either me there, or her here)

Dana is the friend I stayed with when I travelled to America some years ago.

14. See the Northern Lights (or should this be a bucket list item?)
At certain times of the year and in the right weather conditions it is possible to see the Northern Lights from Scotland or even Northern England, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a bucket list item.

15. Watch a Meteor shower

16. Complete a 25km hike in one day
Easily combined with one of the other items on this list, probably a National Parks visit. We already did over 18km on one day when we walked the full circuit at Lake Vrynwy, so I know it's do-able.

17. Stay in a really unusual hotel or other holiday accommodation
There are all sorts of incredible places to stay, even in the UK. Check out a few of these:

20. Climb Cader Idris adding or Snowdon

21. Walk the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge

22. Visit all 15 UK National Parks
So far we have only done Snowdonia and the Peak District, so we need to work on knocking some more of these off. Maybe I can find a parkrun to do in each of them . . . .

23. Attend a grown up music festival
Unless I do manage to hand back my CPAP machine camping is currently out of the question so it will be a day visit rather than a stay, and I'm thinking about something like Bearded Theory, or Moseley Jazz.

24. Learn some basic BSL – at least enough to be able to say something like “I only understand a little, but can I help?”
I am signed up to an online course but haven't actually done any work towards it, oooops.

26. Get a small tattoo

30. Run a Half Marathon - I am booked for Liverpool in May and Birmingham in October.

31.

32. Complete every lesson in a year long online art class. (By “complete” I mean at least engage with the lesson in some way and make an attempt to do something with it)
I signed up for Lifebook in 2018. I'm did OK, until about September and then I got off track but the classes are all still there and I will be going back and working on them at some point.

33. Sell a piece of art work
Anyone want to buy anything you have seen me share on Instagram or Facebook?

34. Create and Maintain a weekly letter writing practise
I'm thinking about treating myself to The Letter Writers Complete Resource from The Postman's Knock to get myself started.
ooooooooops, yeah, this one isn't going so well . . . . . .

35. Read 50 books (see separate list eventually)
Books I have read so far
Books I am hoping to read

36. Take an IRL cooking class
To do this close to home would mean doing the classes that Mukasse Afro Caribbean foods sometimes put on or going to one of the classes at Brompton cookery school. Although my dream would be to do one of the bread courses at River Cottage.

37. Bake a rainbow unicorn cake

39. Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)

40. Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)

42. Picnic under the stars

44. Learn to identify some of the trees we see on our walks, other than the very basics that most people know.
We picked up a book and just have to remember to take it with us on our walks.

46. Join (or start up) a Stitch and Bitch or a Knit and Natter group.

47. Make more crafty gifts.
A conversation from last year and something that happened this week made me realise that you never know the impact those gits have, especially when they are made and chosen with care and intention.

48. Go whale/dolphin watching (preferably off the coast of Wales).

49. Attend a live sporting event.
Hmmmm, does TAKING PART in a major half marathon count?

50. Attend a ball or other formal event in a kick ass gown even if I have to sew it myself.

Although there is no way my sewing skills are up to a dress like that!

50 things To Do Before My 50th Birthday - 18 months to go Update

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sat, 03 Aug 2019 20:00:00 +0000

The latest on my list of 50 Things to do Before I Turn 50. This is the state of play at the start of August 2019.

DONE (or about to be done)
1. Lose 10 lbs
No explanation needed, except to say that since the start of the summer I have already lost 4 st 8 lbs, which is 64 lbs or 29kg. This is for extra weight lost from that point.

2. Lose 20 lbs

3. Lose 30 lbs

4. Lose 40 lbs

5. Lose 50 lbs My total loss so far is 8 st 2 lbs, which is 114 lbs or 51.7 kg. 114 minus 64 = 50!!!!!!

12. Visit Amsterdam (THIS entry was changed due to the protests happening in Paris, which is what it originally said).
We visited Amsterdam for our 25th Wedding anniversary earlier this year.

19. Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points

25. Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
See point 12 above.

28. Walk/Run a 5k
I started park run on New Years Day and have run over 10 times, volunteering 3 times, with a current PB of 31:19.

29. Walk/Run a 10k

38. Eat something you think you won’t like

45. Watch a sunrise from the top of a hill.
Changing this to add - OR A SUNSET
Which means it actually now fits in the done list as we climbed the Wrekin the day after midsummer to watch the sunset.

SUMMARY - I've knocked 16 off the list, with 34 left to go and that means I am well behind timewise, as I now have a year and a half to go!

MAIN LIST

6. Reach Goal Weight (which is another few lbs beyond the 50lb mark)
My eventual goal weight is to reach the top of a healthy weight range or my height, by all the usual charts. That means losing a total of 8 stone 11 pounds (including that which had already been lost when this list was written), which is 123 lbs, or 55.8kg.
At the date of writing this post, I have lost 8 stone 2 pounds, with just 9 pounds to go.

7. Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.

8. Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

Every CPAP clinic appointment until 2017 has come with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I? My appt in 2019 came with a very shocked nurse who came into the waiting room to call me and did a double take because she couldn't quite believe it.

9. Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover

Family will understand why.

13. See Dana again (either me there, or her here)

17. Stay in a really unusual hotel or other holiday accommodation
There are all sorts of incredible places to stay, even in the UK. Check out a few of these:

20. Climb Cader Idris adding or Snowdon

21. Walk the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge

26. Get a small tattoo

30. Move House

39. Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)

40. Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)

42. Picnic under the stars

44. Learn to identify some of the trees we see on our walks, other than the very basics that most people know.
We picked up a book and just have to remember to take it with us on our walks.

46. Join (or start up) a Stitch and Bitch or a Knit and Natter group.

50. Attend a ball or other formal event in a kick ass gown even if I have to sew it myself.

Although there is no way my sewing skills are up to a dress like that!

Weight Loss as a Spiritual Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 18:26:00 +0000

Since July 2017 I have lost 7 1/2 stone in weight (105lbs for my American readers).

Me in January 2019.

Me at nowhere near even my heaviest weight.

You can see from those images that this has been a big journey physically, but I want to talk about how it has also been a spiritual journey.

Where do I start? Growing up I was always on the big size. In my teens I slimmed out a bit and was probably a UK size 14/16 by the time I met my husband. Within 6 months I was pregnant and the weight began to pile on. I cannot blame pregnancy at all as I weighed far heavier in the end than I did the day after giving birth to either of our 2 sons.

At various points over the years I lost some and then put even more back on. Around 15 years ago I started to have serious problems with energy levels. By 13 years ago I was convinced that I had sleep apnoea but it took me another 3 years after that to get doctors to take me seriously and give me a sleep study. I was finally diagnosed in November 2008 and got my CPAP machine in January 2009. I was convinced that this would be the thing that I needed to give me back my energy and help me lose that weight.

errmmmmm.......

welll . . . . .

No!

In fact I put on even more weight. At every sleep apnoea clinic appointment the nurse practitioner would ask about my weight and what I was doing about it, and push me to do something.

In January 2016 I was told that my weight was such an issue with my sleep apnoea (my sleep apnoea numbers were horrendous, making my case a really severe one) that they wanted me to have weight loss surgery. I have nothing against anyone who would do that but it is not something I would ever be willing to do myself, for various reasons, so I said "no". The nurse responded with offering me a deal. She would give me until my next appointment at clinic (June 2017) to make a serious difference to my weight or they would want me to sign up for the weight loss surgery.

I came away from that appointment convinced that I would do it this time, I would lose the weight, and well, I lasted all of 10 days before going back to all my previous bad habits. Over the intervening 17 months my weight went up and down, but by June 2017 and my next sleep apnoea clinic appointment I was more or less exactly the same weight I had been at that previous appointment.

Before I talk about that appointment, let me backtrack a bit to the Spring of 2017.

In Spring 2017 I was blessed by a friend who paid for me to go on a Fatherheart week at a gorgeous country house not too far from our home. While I don't now agree with all the concepts in the Father Heart movement, the one big thing I came away from that week with is the Very Real, internalised belief that I am LOVED. No matter what I do, no matter how big I am, or how small I am, I AM LOVED by God/Love/The Universe. That I do not have to do anything to earn it, it is mine, and it will always be mine, just the way I am.

A few weeks later I came to the "realisation" that I was never going to be able to change my weight and that I was just going to live as healthily as I could at that weight, soooooo I actually went through my wardrobe and GAVE AWAY all those "skinny clothes" that I had been keeping and saving. Yeah, knowing where I am at now, this seems almost laughable, right? All those clothes would have come in so useful over the last 18 months or so, but I actually think this clear out was an important part of the spiritual journey that is this weight loss. You see, by throwing out all those clothes from previous failed attempts to lose this weight, I somehow broke the guilt or connection with those attempts being FAILED ones. They weren't sitting in my wardrobe taunting me anymore.

Back to June 2017 and the sleep apnoea clinic appointment. I knew my weight was more or less exactly the same as it had been at the previous one, and I also remembered very well the deal I had been offered, so I went expecting a very difficult appointment. I still wasn't willing to take on weight loss surgery so I was expecting an intense disagreement.

I went in to that appointment and the issue of the weight loss surgery was not mentioned even once. In fact it was not even hinted at. I came out of the hospital and sat down on a bench asking myself "What on earth just happened?" I realised that I had been given a second chance to do this on my terms. I came home and joined weight watchers online that evening.

In looking back over all my previous attempts I also came to a big decision. I am going to have to track what I eat for the rest of my life. Whether that be through weight watchers or some other system, I am never going to not need to track and I made the decision to be OK with that. Some people can manage to maintain a healthy weight without tracking and that is great, but I am OK with knowing this is going to be my life.

I took up walking, started adding gym visits to my swimming sessions, and as the weight began to drop I also took up hiking and eventually on New Years Day 2019 I started ParkRun. I continued as an online only WW member until January 2019 by which time I realised I needed some extra help and so I joined my local WW studio. I've been to 2 workshops now and I love it. I know this is going to get me the rest of the way to goal.
Will I get to hand the cpap machine back at the end of all this? Maybe, maybe not. I know of people who have lost weight and done so, but I also know of people who are not that overweight at all and have been told they will always need their machine.

So to summarise why I consider this a spiritual journey.
1. I knew that I was loved by God. That He/She/They would always love me, no matter what my size is.
2. I broke the guilt connection with previous failed attempts.
3. I got given a second chance.
4. I accepted I will always have to track in some way even after I reach goal and I am truly OK with that.

Please, if you have any questions, ask in a comment.

50 b4 50 - Update Feb 2019

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 17:08:00 +0000

A further update on my list of 50 Things to do Before I Turn 50.

DONE (or about to be done)
1. Lose 10 lbs
No explanation needed, except to say that since the start of the summer I have already lost 4 st 8 lbs, which is 64 lbs or 29kg. This is for extra weight lost from that point.

2. Lose 20 lbs

3. Lose 30 lbs

4. Lose 40 lbs
I hit this before Christmas, then went backwards and finally got back to it the day before writing this post.

12. Visit Amsterdam (THIS entry has been changed due to the current protests happening in Paris, which is what it originally said).
We will be visiting Amsterdam for our 25th wedding anniversary.

19. Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points

25. Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
See point 12 above, this is happening in the next month and I am so excited. Yes it will be cold, but I am Soooooo looking forward to it. Don't know how my weight will be by the end of that week, but we shall see and I'm willing to take whatever hit I end up with.

28. Walk/Run a 5k
I started park run on New Years Day and have done 2 more since. I had to miss the last few weeks but I'm hoping the weather will be dry enough at least one of the weeks between now and our trip to Amsterdam so I can fit another one in before we go.

38. Eat something you think you won’t like

45. Watch a sunrise from the top of a hill.
Changing this to add - OR A SUNSET
Which means it actually now fits in the done list as we climbed the Wrekin the day after midsummer to watch the sunset.

SUMMARY - I've knocked 14 off the list, with 36 left to go and that means I am well behind timewise, as I now have less than 2 years left!

MAIN LIST

5. Lose 50 lbs

6. Reach Goal Weight (which is another few lbs beyond the 50lb mark)
My eventual goal weight is to reach the top of a healthy weight range or my height, by all the usual charts. That means losing another 4 st 2 lbs, or 58l bs, 26.3kg. I might decide to stop before I get there, but we'll see.

7. Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.

8. Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

Every CPAP clinic appointment until now has come with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I?

9. Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover

If I reach goal weight, I will have lost over 8 1/2 stone, which is 119 lbs or 54kg, I think that will deserve a full on makeover and photo shoot.

10. Move eldest son into a permanent home of his own
He's currently working as a kind of intern with a Christian performing arts ministry and still has a room here at home. It would be a big deal for him to move on from there and into a home of his own.

11. Visit Keil Hill in Scotland

Family will understand why.

13. See Dana again (either me there, or her here)

17. Stay in a really unusual hotel or other holiday accommodation
There are all sorts of incredible places to stay, even in the UK. Check out a few of these:

20. Climb Cader Idris adding or Snowdon

21. Walk the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge

22. Visit all 15 UK National Parks
So far we have only done Snowdonia and the Peak District, so we need to work on knocking some more of these off.

26. Get a small tattoo

I'm thinking about getting some custom temporary tattoos in slightly different sizes of the design I'm thinking of to try it out and figure out what size works.

29. Walk/Run a 10k

I'll be honest that while the 5k seems do-able to me the 10k seems much more difficult.

30. Move House

39. Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)

40. Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)

42. Picnic under the stars

44. Learn to identify some of the trees we see on our walks, other than the very basics that most people know.
We picked up a book and just have to remember to take it with us on our walks.

46. Join (or start up) a Stitch and Bitch or a Knit and Natter group.

50. Attend a ball or other formal event in a kick ass gown even if I have to sew it myself.

Although there is no way my sewing skills are up to a dress like that!

You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.

Listen

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Fri, 04 Jan 2019 15:21:00 +0000

Word of the Year 2019

Do you ever get asked that question, about whether you have sorted out your word for the year yet and want to answer with a relationship status? Yeah, "It's COMPLICATED!"
Not that the word is actually "complicated" but the whole process this year is complicated.

I had one word that came out of nowhere a few weeks before Christmas and got scribbled down in my journal as a possibility, but when I sat down to dig into some further journaling to figure it out for sure, I came up with a whole list of other words or phrases.

BUT I figured out that, with the way I am looking at those words and phrases, they all fit within the original word from before Christmas. So what is it?

LISTEN
Take time to hear & understand. Don't listen in order to formulate a response, listen in order to show respect for the thing being communicated.

Did you know that according to traditional church culture, advent is not a part of Christmas, it is not a part of the feasting period, it is, in fact a period of preparation and fasting.

I was thinking about that and I realised that constant background noise is something I have become used to and could do with a break from. Whenever I am the computer (which is most of my day), there is a youtube video or art class lesson playing in a corner of the screen, and even when I am away from physical sounds there is an almost constant soundtrack in my head of "what if's". I never stop to just LISTEN to the spirit around me. Think about how we use our mobile phones, the constant notifications, the constant checking to see who has commented what on our social media posts and so on, it's all part of that noise that invades our life.

I didn't manage to fast from that physical background noise for more than a couple of days, but I did have that word, burrowing around in my thought processes from then on. "Listen. Listen! Zoë, Listen!"

I knew it was going to involve listening for all sorts of things, what I need to say, what others are saying, accepting their telling of their experience, listening for what God is speaking from Her heart to mine, what my body and soul are saying, and so on.

So, the core word is LISTEN, but then there are 4 supporting words/phrases.

WANDER / WONDER
To travel, to journey, physically and spiritually, showing a sense of awe to the experiences and discoveries of that journey. Asking questions, being open to unexpected answers.

SELF TRUST
Understand that your body, soul and in fact, your whole self, does, at some level, know what is needed, even if you have got so out of the habit of listening to it that you can no longer discern it's voice.

NURTURE / NATURE
Listening to what is needed and providing it. Nurturing skills and talents within oneself and others. Nurturing of plants, animals, etc.
Nature is everything OUT THERE, plants, trees, animals, birds, fields, paths, rivers, valleys, hills, mountains, oceans, etc

HEALTH
This was my word for last year and I knew that at some level it needed to continue into this year. There are so many aspects to this, physical health, mental health, emotional health, relational health, spiritual health etc. It's about all the parts of the whole working in harmony as was always intended and continuing to make right decisions for your health (whichever aspect), even if the results that you were hoping for are not apparent.

I have no plans at the moment for how this is going to work out. One thing I do know is that it does NOT mean I have to listen to everything and everyone, because part of this is learning who and what to listen to.

50 Books Before 50 - Part 2 - Books I Want to Read

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 20:08:00 +0000

Continuing on from the post in which I shared the books I have read since the beginning of this year and the ones I have recently started. On to the rest of my "50 Books Before 50" list.

BOOKS I DEFINITELY WANT TO READ
20. The Wisdom of the Body: A Contemplative Journey to Wholeness for Women

In The Wisdom of the Body, Christine Valters Paintner focuses on the true meaning of the Incarnation—God became flesh—and points to the spiritual importance of appreciating the bodies God gave us.
Each of the book’s ten chapters is a mini-workshop designed to lead us to new ways of being in relationship with our bodies. Starting with the senses and shifting toward emotions and desires, Paintner explores their role as thresholds to discovering the body’s wisdom. She draws from Christian tradition to offer principles and practices such as stability, hospitality, and gratitude to lead us on a journey that ends with a sense of deep peace and self-acceptance.

21. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

I have read this book before, when I was at my friend Dana's house in America some years ago and I LOVED IT. I still haven't watched the movie, and I want to re read the book before I pick up the dvd.

22. The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine

From a jarring encounter with sexism in a suburban drugstore, to monastery retreats and to rituals in the caves of Crete, Sue Monk Kidd reveals a new level of feminine spiritual consciousness for all women—one that retains a meaningful connection with the "deep song of Christianity," embraces the sacredness of ordinary women’s experience, and has the power to transform in the most positive ways every fundamental relationship in a woman's life—her marriage, her career, and her religion.

23. A Farewell to Mars: An Evangelical Pastor's Journey Toward the Biblical Gospel of Peace

When did we accept vengeance as an acceptable part of the Christian life? How did violence and power seep into our understanding of faith and grace? For those troubled by this trend toward the sword, perhaps there is a better way.
What if the message of Jesus differs radically from the drumbeats of war we hear all around us?
Using his own journey from war crier to peacemaker and his in-depth study of peace in the scriptures, author and pastor Brian Zahnd reintroduces us to the gospel of Peace.

24. Big Love: The Power of Living with a Wide-Open Heart

What happens when you fully commit yourself to love? Endless good, insists Scott Stabile, who found that out by overcoming plenty of bad. His parents were murdered when he was fourteen. Nine years later, his brother died of a heroin overdose. Soon after that, Scott joined a cult that dominated his life for thirteen years before he summoned the courage to walk away. In Big Love, his insightful and refreshingly honest collection of personal essays, Scott relates these profound experiences as well as everyday struggles and triumphs in ways that are universally applicable, uplifting, and laugh-out-loud funny. Whether silencing shame, rebounding after failure, or moving forward despite fears, Scott shares hard-won insights that consistently return readers to love, both of themselves and others.

25. The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth

26. An Altar in the World: Finding the Sacred Beneath Our Feet

We discover that no physical act is too earthbound or too humble to become a path to the divine.

27. Embodied Prayer: Towards a Wholeness of Body, Mind and Soul

Our bodies have too long been in exile. We listen or pray with our hearts and minds but ignore much of our bodies; we become "disembodied." This illuminating book is about honoring what our bodies have to teach us. Brimming with words of wisdom that will allow you to discover what a gift your body is, Embodied Prayer invites you towards wholeness of body, mind, and soul.

28. Life Disrupted: Getting Real about Chronic Illness in Your Twenties and Thirties

Life Disrupted is a personal and unflinching guide to living well with a chronic illness: managing your own health care without letting it take over your life, dealing with difficult doctors and frequent hospitalizations, having a productive and satisfying career that accommodates your health needs, and nurturing friendships and a loving, committed relationship regardless of recurring health problems. Laurie Edwards also addresses the particular needs of people who have more than one chronic illness or who are among the twenty-five million Americans with a rare disorder. She shares her own story and the experiences of others with chronic illness, as well as advice from life coaches, employment specialists, and health professionals.
Reading Life Disrupted is like having a best friend and mentor who truly does know what you're going through.

29. The Mind-Gut Connection: How the Hidden Conversation Within Our Bodies Impacts Our Mood, Our Choices, and Our Overall Health

We have all experienced the connection between our mind and our gut—the decision we made because it “felt right”; the butterflies in our stomach before a big meeting; the anxious stomach rumbling we get when we’re stressed out. While the dialogue between the gut and the brain has been recognized by ancient healing traditions, including Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine, Western medicine has by and large failed to appreciate the complexity of how the brain, gut, and more recently, the gut microbiota—the microorganisms that live inside our digestive tract—communicate with one another. In The Mind-Gut Connection, Dr. Emeran Mayer, professor of medicine and executive director of the UCLA Center for Neurobiology of Stress, offers a revolutionary and provocative look at this developing science, teaching us how to harness the power of the mind-gut connection to take charge of our health and listen to the innate wisdom of our bodies.

30. The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma

The effects of trauma can be devastating for sufferers, their families and future generations. Here one of the world's experts on traumatic stress offers a bold new paradigm for treatment, moving away from standard talking and drug therapies and towards an alternative approach that heals mind, brain and body.

31. Unafraid: Moving Beyond Fear-Based Faith

Benjamin L. Corey thought he was suffering a crisis of faith, but it turned out to be a spiritual awakening.
Corey became aware that the constant fear of hell and judgment that defined his Christian faith was out of sync with the idea that God acts from love, and promises to deliver us from fear. In the wake of this realization came newfound insights--from reading the Bible to re-examining American life and the church's role in the wider world. Corey learned that what he had been taught was a distorted version of Christianity that was not only untrue but caused real spiritual harm.

32. Vindicating the Vixens: Revisiting Sexualized, Vilified, and Marginalized Women of the Bible

Gain a greater understanding of gender in the Bible through the eyes of a diverse group of evangelical scholars who assert that Christians have missed the point of some scriptural stories by assuming the women in them were “bad girls.”
Did the Samaritan woman really divorce five husbands in a world where women rarely divorced even one? Did Bathsheba seduce King David by bathing in the nude? Was Mary Magdalene really a reformed prostitute?
While many have written studies of the women in the Bible, this is a new kind of book―one in which an international team of male and female scholars look afresh at vilified and neglected women in the Bible. The result is a new glimpse into God’s heart for anyone, male or female, who has limited social power.

33. Undivided: Coming Out, Becoming Whole, and Living Free From Shame

Vicky Beeching knew if she ever spoke up about her identity it would cost her everything.
Faced with a major health crisis, at the age of thirty-five she decided to tell the world that she was gay. As a result, all hell broke loose. She lost her music career and livelihood, faced threats and vitriol from traditionalists, developed further health issues from the immense stress, and had to rebuild her life almost from scratch.
But despite losing so much she gained far more: she was finally able to live from a place of wholeness, vulnerability, and authenticity. She finally found peace.

34. Shameless: A Sexual Reformation

Nothing gives church folk anxiety quite like the subject of sex. And that's why in Shameless, Pastor Nadia sets out to reclaim the conversation for a new generation. In the spirit of Martin Luther, Bolz-Weber calls for a reformation of the way believers understand and express their sexuality. To make her case, Bolz-Weber draws on experiences from her own life as well as her parishoners', then puts them side by side with biblical narrative and theology to explore what the church has taught and about sex, and the harm that has often come as a result. Along the way, Bolz-Weber reexamines patriarchy, gender, and sexual orientation with candor but also with hope--because, as she writes, "I believe that the Gospel can heal the pain that even the church has caused."

35. The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen: Opening Your Eyes to Wonder

She never expected the questions to lead as far as they did when her husband told her he no longer believed in God. The death of a friend, the unraveling of relationships and career, the loss of a worldview, and the birth of a baby girl with two heart defects all led Lisa to a tumultuous place; one of depression and despair. And it was there that her perspective on everything changed. The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen tells the story of what can happen when you dare to let go of what you think to be true; to shift the kaleidoscope and see new colors and dimension by way of broken pieces.
Lisa’s eloquent, soul-stirring memoir brings you to a music stage before thousands of fans and a front porch where two people whisper words that scare them to the core. It is the story of how doubt can spark the beginning of deeper faith; how a baby born with a broken heart can bring love and healing to the hearts of many, and ultimately, how the hardest experience in life often ends up saving us.

36. Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are

When women are told that what is important about us is how we look, it becomes increasingly difficult for us to feel comfortable with our appearance and how we feel about our bodies. We are told, over and over--if we just lost weight, fit into those old jeans, or into a new smaller pair--we will be happier and feel better about ourselves. The truth is, so many women despise their appearance, weight, and shape, that experts who study women's body image now consider this feeling to be normal.
But it does not have to be that way. It is possible for us as women to love ourselves, our bodies, as we are. We need a new story about what it means to be a woman in this world. Based on her original research, Hillary L McBride shares the true stories of young women, and their mothers, and provides unique insights into how our relationships with our bodies are shaped by what we see around us and the specific things we can do to have healthier relationships with our appearance, and all the other parts of ourselves that make us women.

37. transforming

Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians provides access into an underrepresented and misunderstood community and will change the way readers think about transgender people, faith, and the future of Christianity. By introducing transgender issues and language and providing stories of both biblical characters and real-life narratives from transgender Christians living today, Hartke helps readers visualize a more inclusive Christianity, equipping them with the confidence and tools to change both the church and the world.

38. Falling Upward: A Spirituality For The Two Halves Of Life

In Falling Upward, Fr Richard Rohr offers a new understanding of one of life’s most profound mysteries: how our failing can be the foundation for our ongoing spiritual growth. Drawing on the wisdom from time-honoured myths, heroic poems, great thinkers and scared religious texts, the author explores the two halves of life to show that those who have fallen, failed, or ‘gone down’ are the only ones who understand ‘up’. The heartbreaks, disappointments and first loves of life are actually stepping stones to the spiritual joys that the second half has in store for us.

39. The Giver

The novel follows a 12-year-old boy named Jonas. The society has taken away pain and strife by converting to "Sameness", a plan that has also eradicated emotional depth from their lives. Jonas is selected to inherit the position of Receiver of Memory, the person who stores all the past memories of the time before Sameness, as there may be times where one must draw upon the wisdom gained from history to aid the community's decision making. Jonas struggles with concepts of all the new emotions and things introduced to him: whether they are inherently good, evil, or in between, and whether it is even possible to have one without the other. The Community lacks any color, memory, climate, or terrain, all in an effort to preserve structure, order, and a true sense of equality beyond personal individuality.

40. Circle of Grace: A Book of Blessings for the Seasons

"Within the struggle, joy, pain, and delight that attend our life, there is an invisible circle of grace that enfolds and encompasses us in every moment. Blessings help us to perceive this circle of grace, to find our place of belonging within it, and to receive the strength the circle holds for us."
Beginning in Advent and moving through the sacred seasons of the Christian year, Circle of Grace offers Jan's distinctive and poetic blessings that illuminate the treasures each season offers to us.

41. Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children Boxed Set (as in, I would count the whole set as 1 book for the sake of this challenge)

Because they are awesome. So awesome that I am going to a "meet the author" event next month and I am travelling over 2 hours each way to get there.

42. How to be a Bad Christian: ... And a better human being

In this handbook to Christianity for people who describe themselves as spiritual but not necessarily religious, Dave sketches out some key practices for how to be a 'bad' Christian, including how to talk to God without worrying about prayer, how to read the Bible without turning off your brain, and how to think with your soul rather than trying to follow rules.

43. Harry Potter Complete Collection

And yes I'm counting them all as 1 item.

44. Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen

In this compelling memoir Stephen Hawking's first wife, Jane Hawking, relates the inside story of their extraordinary marriage. As Stephen's academic renown soared, his body was collapsing under the assaults of motor neurone disease, and Jane's candid account of trying to balance his 24-hour care with the needs of their growing family will be inspirational to anyone dealing with family illness.

45. Mend the Living

In the depths of a winter's night, the heart of Simon Limbeau is resting, readying itself for the day to come. In a few hours' time, just before six, his alarm will go off and he will venture into the freezing dawn, drive down to the beach, and go surfing with his friends. A trip he has made a hundred times and yet, today, the heart of Simon Limbeau will encounter a very different course.
But for now, the black-box of his body is free to leap, swell, melt and sink, just as it has throughout the years of Simon's young life.
5.50 a.m.
This is his heart.
And here is its story.

46. With the End in Mind: Dying, Death and Wisdom in an Age of Denial

Told through a series of beautifully crafted stories taken from nearly four decades of clinical practice, her book answers the most intimate questions about the process of dying with touching honesty and humanity. She makes a compelling case for the therapeutic power of approaching death not with trepidation but with openness, clarity and understanding.
With the End in Mind is a book for us all: the grieving and bereaved, ill and healthy. Open these pages and you will find stories about people who are like you, and like people you know and love. You will meet Holly, who danced her last day away; Eric, the retired head teacher who, even with Motor Neurone Disease, gets things done; loving, tender-hearted Nelly and Joe, each living a lonely lie to save their beloved from distress; and Sylvie, 19, dying of leukaemia, sewing a cushion for her mum to hug by the fire after she has died.

47. Hidden Figures: The Untold Story of the African American Women Who Helped Win the Space Race

I haven't watched the movie, but I really want to read the book first.

48. Embracing the Body: Finding God in Our Flesh and Bone

I won a copy of this book a few years ago and didn't finish reading it at the time. I want to go back and finish it.
Our bodies are more good than we can possibly imagine them to be. And yet at times we may struggle with feelings of shame and guilt or even pride in regard to our bodies. What is God trying to do through our skin and bones?
In Embracing the Body spiritual director Tara Owens invites you to listen to your thoughts about your body in a way that draws you closer to God, calling you to explore how your spirituality is intimately tied to your physicality. Using exercises for reflection at the end of each chapter, she guides you to see your body not as an inconvenience but as a place where you can meet the Holy in a new way―a place to embrace God's glorious intention.

49. There Is No Good Card for This: What To Say and Do When Life Is Scary, Awful, and Unfair to People You Love

Written in a how-to, relatable, we’ve-all-been-that-deer-in-the-headlights kind of way, There Is No Good Card for This isn’t a spiritual treatise on how to make you a better person or a scientific argument about why compassion matters. It is a helpful illustrated guide to effective compassion that takes you, step by step by step, past the paralysis of thinking about someone in a difficult time to actually doing something (or nothing) with good judgment instead of fear.
There Is No Good Card for This features workbook exercises, sample dialogs, and real-life examples from Dr. Crowe’s research, including her popular "Empathy Bootcamps" that give people tools for building relationships when it really counts. Whether it’s a coworker whose mother has died, a neighbor whose husband has been in a car accident, or a friend who is seriously ill, There Is No Good Card for This teaches you how to be the best friend you can be to someone in need.

50. many many many more books are actually on this list, but I know that over the course of the next 2 years I will certainly add more books to this list and remove some from it. So I'm leaving it here for now.

If you have read the last post AND this one I am fairly sure you will have spotted some themes amongst this list. I can see at least 3 clear themes straight away but I am sure there are others.

What themes do you see?

BTW, if either of these lists has you concerned about my relationship with God, please don't worry, I'm sure She doesn't.

50 Books to Read Before I Turn 50 - Part 1 - Books I Have Read and am Currently Reading

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 18:51:00 +0000

Back in January, around the time of my birthday, I made a list of "50 Things to do Before I Turn 50".
One of the items in that list was "Read 50 books before I turn 50". I promised I would post what I was reading, and have not yet done so. We're almost 10 months into the challenge, which is 3 years long, so in theory I should have read over 13 books by now to stay on track. Let's find out how I'm doing:

BOOKS FINISHED SO FAR
1. Motel of the Mysteries ~David Macaulcay

The Kindle Edition of this Children's/YA adventure book is currently free on Kindle in the UK. I picked it up because my son recommended it as a book by a local author and I was not disappointed.

The Golden Acorn is the first book in the Jack Brenin series. Book 1 can be read as a stand alone or as the first book in an ongoing adventure. Once you've read this book we're sure you'll want to read more about Jack Brenin and the magical 'Otherworld' he becomes involved in.

6. In The Sanctuary of Women ~ Jan L Richardson

Because - WHY NOT

13. A Book of Nonsense by Edward Lear

Meh. I expected more from this but found it monotonous and repetitive.

14. Shalom Sistas

If anyone has a right to feel angry with life, then Liz is a strong candidate. Having battled with lung disease from a young age, suffered at the hands of bullies, and, reluctantly, given up her much-loved teaching job, she has plenty to complain about. But she has made a point of exploring contentment.
Liz is the wife of a local church minister and I am part of the launch team for this book which doesn't release until the middle of November. So far, there have been parts that have really encouraged me, parts I have struggled with and parts where I have uttered out loud "THIS is what I'm talking about, why don't people get it?"

17. 12 Things To Pray (Chronic Health Conditions)

This book is for those with a heart and desire to pray for those struggling through the confusing and difficult road of a chronic health condition. Often people say, "I am praying for you" but don't know how to pray for those with chronic illness and pain. While this book doesn’t address every idea of what to pray and is not a "formula", it is a good "jumping off point" for you to be praying for yourself or those whom you love that struggle with chronic health issues and their loved ones.

18. Becoming Friends of Time: Disability, Timefullness, and Gentle Discipleship

I've only just started to dip into this book, and I think I am going to wait until I have finished the Liz Carter book mentioned above in order to not overwhelm myself with books on illness and disability.
Swinton wrestles with critical questions that emerge from theological reflection on time and disability: rethinking doctrine for those who can never grasp Jesus with their intellects; reimagining discipleship and vocation for those who have forgotten who Jesus is; reconsidering salvation for those who, due to neurological damage, can be one person at one time and then be someone else in an instant.

19. Finding God in the Margins: The Book of Ruth

In four short episodes we encounter refugees, undocumented immigrants, poverty, hunger, women's rights, male power and privilege, discrimination, and injustice.
In Finding God in the Margins, Carolyn Custis James reveals how the book of Ruth is about God, the questions that surface when life falls apart, and how he reaches into the margins and chooses two totally marginalized women who in the eyes of the patriarchal culture are zeros.
So far I am just a short way into this book but I love the comparison between the story of Naomi and the story of Job. Both lost everything, but Naomi also lost her spouse and as a widow in a patriarchal society had no way of gaining back any of what she had lost, whereas Job would have been able to at least try.

Books I WANT TO READ coming in the next post

50 Things UPDATE

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Fri, 13 Jul 2018 21:48:00 +0000

We're approaching 6 months into my "50 Things to Do Before I Become 50" List, so I figured it was time for an update. I haven't completed anywhere near 1/6 of the items, which is concerning, but I am slowly making my way through them.
Also, in reviewing the list, I realised that one or two of them are just NOT going to be possible due to budget, so I'm taking action and changing my list slightly.

For this update, I'll split the list into sections
1. Already Done or about to be done within the next couple of weeks
2. Being Removed
3. What is replacing them
4. The rest of the list

DONE (or about to be done)
1. Lose 10 lbs
No explanation needed, except to say that since the start of the summer I have already lost 4 st 8 lbs, which is 64 lbs or 29kg. This is for extra weight lost from that point.

2. Lose 20 lbs

3. Lose 30 lbs
I just hit this mark last week.

18. Visit a waterfall
We did this. Made the mistake of going on the first hot bank holiday (public holiday) of the year, so it was packed. If you don't know the area there is a 4 mile road up to the falls which is single track with the occasional passing bay, most of the way. It felt like everyone and their brother had decided to visit by the time we left and were heading back down the road the other way. Scary.

BUT I absolutely loved the falls, and will definitely go again.
Pistyll Rhaeadr Falls - The tallest waterfall in Wales

19. Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points

41. Wild Swim? My friend, Sue Austin is going to meet me at a local lake on Sunday, and we are going to swim, while the weather here is still good.

43. Walk a Labyrinth
We walked the huge labyrinth in Milton Keynes when we were there for our anniversary earlier this year. We hadn't expected it to take so long when we started, but that thing is AROUND 1km! That's one huge labyrinth.

16. Fly Business class somewhere
Again, cuz Duh! And because hubby got to fly business when he was upgraded while flying for work.

REPLACING WHAT IS REMOVED (or otherwise being changed)

20. Climb Cader Idris adding or Snowdon

45. Watch a sunrise from the top of a hill.

Changing this to add - OR A SUNSET

Which means it actually now fits in the done list as we climbed the Wrekin the day after midsummer to watch the sunset. Listing here as well because it has been changed.

MAIN LIST
4. Lose 40 lbs

5. Lose 50 lbs

6. Reach Goal Weight (which is another few lbs beyond the 50lb mark)
My eventual goal weight is to reach the top of a healthy weight range or my height, by all the usual charts. That means losing another 4 st 2 lbs, or 58l bs, 26.3kg. I might decide to stop before I get there, but we'll see.

7. Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.

8. Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

Every CPAP clinic appointment comes with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I?

9. Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover

12. Visit Paris
Well, duh! And for the record hubby, no, Euro Disney does NOT count, although that would be cool to do AS WELL.

13. See Dana again (either me there, or her here)
Dana is the friend I stayed with when I travelled to America some years ago.

14. See the Northern Lights (or should this be a bucket list item?)
At certain times of the year and in the right weather conditions it is possible to see the Northern Lights from Scotland or even Northern England, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a bucket list item.

15. Watch a Meteor shower

17. Stay in a really unusual hotel or other holiday accommodation
There are all sorts of incredible places to stay, even in the UK. Check out a few of these:

21. Walk the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge

22. Visit all 15 UK National Parks

23. Attend a grown up music festival
Unless I do manage to hand back my CPAP machine camping is currently out of the question so it will be a day visit rather than a stay, and I'm thinking about something like Bearded Theory, or Moseley Jazz.

24. Learn some basic BSL – at least enough to be able to say something like “I only understand a little, but can I help?”

25. Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
We really should start planning this as it will be next February!!!!!!

26. Get a small tattoo
I'm thinking about getting some custom temporary tattoos in slightly different sizes of the design I'm thinking of to try it out and figure out what size works.

27. Go Horse Riding
I've avoided this up until now because to ride at the weight I was, would have meant riding a huge carthorse or shire horse. Even losing as much weight as I have would make the ride much more feasible and less scary, but at goal it will be awesome.

28. Walk/Run a 5k
Maybe I'll start with parkrun and doing the race for life.

29. Walk/Run a 10k
I'll be honest that while the 5k seems do-able to me the 10k seems much more difficult.

30. Move House

31. Get a Dog (rescue)We always had dogs growing up and since I left home I've not had one, it's something we definitely want to get back into.

32. Complete every lesson in a year long online art class. (By “complete” I mean at least engage with the lesson in some way and make an attempt to do something with it)
I am going to be doing Lifebook again in 2018, so maybe this year will be the year, although to do every single activity offered means 84 activities or something like that. No falling behind with this one or I'll never catch back up. SO FAR I'm doing OK, there are one or two I won't do because I don't have the materials, but I shall possibly come back at the end and do something else with those classes.
I was lucky enough to win one of the spots in class on the launch giveaways.

33. Sell a piece of art work
Anyone want to buy anything you have seen me share on Instagram or Facebook?

34. Create and Maintain a weekly letter writing practise
I'm thinking about treating myself to The Letter Writers Complete Resource from The Postman's Knock to get myself started.

35. Read 50 books (see separate list eventually) I've started thinking about this. Should I just keep track and get the number up to 50, or should I start out with a list and if so should there be categories and so on? Any suggestions dear readers?

38. Eat something you think you won’t like
I might surprise myself.

39. Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)

40. Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)

42. Picnic under the stars

44. Learn to identify some of the trees we see on our walks, other than the very basics that most people know.
We picked up a book and just have to remember to take it with us on our walks.

46. Join (or start up) a Stitch and Bitch or a Knit and Natter group.

50 Things To Do Before I Turn 50

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 17:00:00 +0000

Over the last couple of weeks I've begun to look forward to next year. I realised that on my next birthday there will be 3 years until my 50th Birthday. So I started writing a 50 things to do before I turn 50, list. I know that some of the items will not make sense at first reading to my American friends, so I will be including links wherever possible. If I've missed one that you don't understand, please ask.

These aren't ultimate bucket list items because I know our budget over those 3 years isn't going to be as expansive as I might like, so I'm not putting the big international trips and really expensive experiences on there, unless they involve staying with friends and therefore only needing to find the funds for the actual journey.

Lose 10 lbs
No explanation needed, except to say that since the start of the summer I have already lost 4 st 8 lbs, which is 64 lbs or 29kg. Doing well so far, but this week I began taking some medication that will definitely slow that down and make it more difficult and am already seeing the effects of that.
Lose 20 lbs
Lose 30 lbs
Lose 40 lbs
Lose 50 lbs
Reach Goal Weight (which is another few lbs beyond the 50lb mark)
My eventual goal weight is to reach the top of a healthy weight range or my height, by all the usual charts. That means losing another 4 st 2 lbs, or 58l bs, 26.3kg. I might decide to stop before I get there, but we'll see.
Discover how to move through the world as a woman of healthy weight. Seriously, I’ve never done that as an adult.
Hand back CPAP machine because I don’t need it anymore. (I can dream can’t I?)
I have Sleep Apnoea, (sleep apnea for Americans) and use a CPAP machine at night in order to function as a human being during the day.

I had a particularly severe case in that my results in my sleep study were double what they would be in order to class someone as "severe". Every CPAP clinic appointment comes with a request for me to lose weight and the questions about what I am doing towards that goal. To be able to hand that machine back would be an incredible achievement, which may never happen, even if I lose all the weight, but like I said, I can dream, can't I?
Have a professional photo session with hair and makeover
If I reach goal weight, I will have lost over 8 1/2 stone, which is 119 lbs or 54kg, I think that will deserve a full on makeover and photo shoot.
Move eldest son into a permanent home of his own
He's currently working as a kind of intern with a Christian performing arts ministry and still has a room here at home. It would be a big deal for him to move on from there and into a home of his own.
Visit Keil Hill in Scotland

Family will understand why.
Visit Paris
Well, duh! And for the record hubby, no, Euro Disney does NOT count, although that would be cool to do AS WELL.
See Dana again (either me there, or her here)
Dana is the friend I stayed with when I travelled to America some years ago.
See the Northern Lights (or should this be a bucket list item?)
At certain times of the year and in the right weather conditions it is possible to see the Northern Lights from Scotland or even Northern England, so it doesn't necessarily have to be a bucket list item.
Watch a Meteor shower
Fly Business class somewhere
Again, cuz Duh! And because hubby got to fly business when he was upgraded while flying for work.
Stay in a really unusual hotel or other holiday accommodation
There are all sorts of incredible places to stay, even in the UK. Check out a few of these:
Visit a waterfall
I already have a recommendation of a really awesome waterfall that would be easy to visit from home on a day trip I reckon.
Pistyll Rhaeadr Falls - The tallest waterfall in Wales
Eat fish and Chips on the sea front and don’t worry about the weight watchers points
Climb Cader Idris
Walk the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge
Visit all 15 UK National Parks
Attend a grown up music festival
Unless I do manage to hand back my CPAP machine camping is currently out of the question so it will be a day visit rather than a stay, and I'm thinking about something like Bearded Theory, or Moseley Jazz.
Learn some basic BSL – at least enough to be able to say something like “I only understand a little, but can I help?”
Plan and enact 25^th Wedding anniversary celebration (it falls within the 3 years)
Get a small tattoo
I'm thinking about getting some custom temporary tattoos in slightly different sizes of the design I'm thinking of to try it out and figure out what size works.
Go Horse Riding
I've avoided this up until now because to ride at the weight I was, would have meant riding a huge carthorse or shire horse. Even losing as much weight as I have would make the ride much more feasible and less scary, but at goal it will be awesome.
Walk/Run a 5k
Maybe I'll start with parkrun and doing the race for life.
Walk/Run a 10k
I'll be honest that while the 5k seems do-able to me the 10k seems much more difficult.
Move House
Get a Dog (rescue)We always had dogs growing up and since I left home I've not had one, it's something we definitely want to get back into.
Complete every lesson in a year long online art class. (By “complete” I mean at least engage with the lesson in some way and make an attempt to do something with it)
I'm going to be doing Lifebook again in 2018, so maybe this year will be the year, although to do every single activity offered means 84 activities or something like that. No falling behind with this one or I'll never catch back up.
I was lucky enough to win one of the spots in class on the launch giveaways.
Sell a piece of art work
Create and Maintain a weekly letter writing practise
I'm thinking about treating myself to The Letter Writers Complete Resource from The Postman's Knock to get myself started.
Read 50 books (see separate list eventually)I've started thinking about this. Should I just keep track and get the number up to 50, or should I start out with a list and if so should there be categories and so on? Any suggestions dear readers?
Take an IRL cooking class
To do this close to home would mean doing the classes that Mukasse Afro Caribbean foods sometimes put on or going to one of the classes at Brompton cookery school. Although my dream would be to do one of the bread courses at River Cottage.
Bake a rainbow unicorn cake
Eat something you think you won’t like
I might surprise myself.
Celebrate one of my birthdays with a day of RAK events (Random Acts of Kindness)
Spend a whole weekend technology free – (still need to remain contactable in emergencies, BUT, no phone, no computer, no internet, no TV, etc)
Wild Swim? I'm not sure I'm as brave as my friends Kate Hatton or Sue Austin but Sue has promised to meet me at a local lake this summer when the weather is right to take me for a wild swim.
Picnic under the stars
Walk a Labyrinth
Learn to identify some of the trees we see on our walks, other than the very basics that most people know.
There might be a course or walk that I can do with The Shropshire Wildlife Trust.
Watch a sunrise from the top of a hill.
Join (or start up) a Stitch & Bitch or a Knit & Natter group.
Make more crafty gifts.
A conversation from last year and something that happened this week made me realise that you never know the impact those gits have, especially when they are made and chosen with care and intention.
Go whale/dolphin watching (preferably off the coast of Wales).
Attend a live sporting event.
Attend a ball or other formal event in a kick ass gown even if I have to sew it myself.

Although there is no way my sewing skills are up to a dress like that!

Raspberry White Chocolate Baked Oatmeal - 5SP

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Tue, 24 Oct 2017 09:50:00 +0000

A couple of people on Weight watcher connect have asked for this recipe after I shared a photo the other day. Here you go - Raspberry and White Chocolate Baked Oatmeal at 5 points per portion.
(That larger piece in the bowl is 1 portion, I had an extra spoonful as well in this photo).

4 portions at 5 SP each by my calculations (I recommend you enter recipes into the recipe calculator in case the particular ingredients you are using are different to mine)

INGREDIENTS
80g Jumbo Oats
80g Raspberries
14g White Chocolate (I use chocolate chips, but you can use chopped up bar if you need to)
1 tsp, level Vanilla Extract
1 tsp, level Baking powder
200g Fat Free Natural Yogurt
1 1⁄2 tbsp Artificial sweetener (an extra 1/2 tbsp would probably be better)
2 medium, Egg
Frylight Spray Oil

METHOD
Preheat oven to 190c/375f . (Lower temp a bit if using fan oven)
Grease a oven proof dish with spray oil.

Add to a bowl - the oats, sweetener, baking powder, yoghurt, vanilla and egg and whisk to combine Pour in the oven proof dish greased with spray oil.

Pop into the top of the mixture the fresh raspberries and white chocolate chips Bake in the oven for 40 mins till set and lightly golden. Serve and enjoy!!

I Bet You Didn't Know That I ...

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Fri, 15 Sep 2017 07:15:00 +0000

TODAY’S NUDGE: Share something that isn’t widely known about you.

Looking back to some of the things that happened when I was growing up it's fairly amazing that I am still here in some respects.

I am not going to attempt to get these into the right order, my memories aren't that good.

When I was very little one of my great uncle's had a canal boat. I don't know how often we went there, but I do know about one particular visit. Apparently there was a little rowing boat that was sometimes used while the canal boat stayed moored. From what I understand, there were 3 of us on the boat. One of my great uncles, my dad and me, oh and one of the dogs. I FELL IN THE CANAL. One of the two adults on the boat yelled "She's fallen in" and in that first split second the other one thought they meant the dog.

I don't remember any of it but I think I remember afterwards being wrapped up in someone's jumper because I had no dry clothes there, my mom had no idea I would need them.

At some point in my childhood I discovered that childproof medication bottles were not childproof. I have no idea what the medication was or how many I swallowed but it resulted in me ending up in hospital having my stomach pumped. Again, I was very young and remember little about it. I do know that someone bought me a gift of a nurses outfit after it was all over.
A few years later we went on a visit to Blackpool Pleasure Beach (A big permanent fun fair). One of the rides was a roundabout with cars and motorbikes and so on. I was sitting on one of them, waiting for the ride to start and decided I wanted to be on a different one. I got off and started to move to the other one but it was too late, the ride had started. The ride operator stopped it immediately but not before I had got a huge nasty graze across my back as I had fallen over and one of the bikes had hit my back in some way.
When we went on holiday (vacation) to Romania, we had an emergency landing on the flight home, on the wrong side of the iron curtain so the airport was complete with soldiers with guns saying "you will go here, you will sit there, you will eat cake". To us kids it was all a bit more adventure, but I remember one of the women there being in tears because "I don't like cake". I think it was just the last straw in what was already a very stressful day.

There were other incidents too but I'll leave you with those.
If you are someone I know, how many of those were you aware of?
If not, what stories do you have that you pull out when you need to say "I better you never knew this about me"?

Your Story in 50 Words - or - Who I Am

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 06:41:00 +0000

Have you ever seen this before? God's story in 50 words.

God made.
Adam bit.
Noah arked.
Abraham split.
Joseph ruled.
Jacob fooled.
Bush talked.
Moses balked.
Pharaoh plagued.
People walked.
Sea divided.
Tablets guided.
Promise landed.
Saul freaked.
David peeked.
Prophets warned.
Jesus born.
God walked.
Love talked.
Anger crucified.
Hope died.
Love rose.
Spirit flamed.
Word spread.
God remained.

I've seen this around for years and cannot find a record of the original author, so if anyone knows for sure where it originated, please let me know.

I was reminded of it recently and got to thinking what my 50 words would be. Or yours? My 50 words could be

I am :
the baby who survived after multiple miscarriages.
the toddler who nearly drowned in the canal.
the child who discovered what happens when childproof bottles aren't.
the awkward kid who never who never really found herself.
the ' good girl ' who found a guy, had a baby, THEN got married.

And that could be the end of my story, only it isn't.

And there begins another 50 words

I am:
blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed and forgiven.
loved with an everlasting love.
I am:
one who struggles to live in that grace.
one who dances.
one who writes.
one who STILL stands.
one who hangs on by her fingertips when everything around her yells "let go".
I am.

If you had to fit your story into 50 words or less, what would it say?

The Woman Who Bled

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 07:16:00 +0000

Today in the Blog Hop I am sharing a story that I wrote a few weeks ago. It is a story where after reading (or in this case listening to) a bible story, I imagined what it would have been like to have been there. Where would I have been, what would I have seen, and heard? What are the details that would have got missed out when the story of that event was written down?

I was on the edge of the crowd somewhere and I wasn’t looking at Jesus. I was watching HER. I didn’t KNOW her, not to speak to but I knew who she was. We all did. We knew not to touch her if we passed in the street and I had watched her when she was shopping in the market. She always waited for the stall holder to place her items down and completely remove their hands before she picked them up so that they would never be touching an item at the same time. I knew that a lot of the stall holders wouldn’t serve her at all, wouldn’t answer her questions, wouldn’t even make eye contact or acknowledge she was there.

It was as if they wanted her to be invisible, or maybe it was the concept of her blood they wanted to be invisible, for to deny the idea of a woman’s blood is to deny her power in part. To refuse to acknowledge one is to never allow the other to be mentioned.

I watched her move through the crowd, slowly, silently, almost invisibly. She was touching people, I mean she MUST HAVE been, there was no way to get through that crowd without doing so, but no one noticed. They were all so focused on Jesus and what they wanted, what they expected from him that they didn’t even see this woman who really needed him.

There were moments when she disappeared in the mass of bodies, but then I would catch sight of her again. Sometimes she had her back to me, or the side of her head, but there were moments when I had a clear view of her face. I was expecting to see fear, or desperation, but what I had not expected to see was such a fierce determination.

She continued to move through the crowd, and I was so intent on watching her, so fascinated by her journey through the crowd that I almost forgot that Jesus was there. That was until she got right up to him and then she ducked down and I lost sight of her altogether.

I was desperately searching for her with my eyes when I heard Jesus speak, clearly, above all the noise and clamour around him.

“Stop! No, really, STOP, who touched me? Who was it? I need to know.”

His friends looked at each other, then at the crowd. They looked at Jesus and then back at each other, I could tell that none of them wanted to be the first to speak, but finally one of them did,

“errrr, have you seen this crowd? They’re ALL pushing and shoving. Look, we’re not bodyguards, we can’t stop them.”

“No” Jesus said “That’s not what I mean. Someone touched me, I felt power go out from me.”

That’s when I spotted HER again, I think I realised what had happened at almost the same moment she did. She looked around herself and then right at me, I was sure of it. Did she know I’d been watching her? Was that a smile creeping across her face? I don’t think I had ever seen her smile before, but then I noticed she was trembling too.

She rose slightly from where she was crouching, she cleared her throat and whispered

“It was me” but no one paid her any attention. Was she still invisible to them?

Louder now she said, “Me, I touched him.”

Jesus turned to face her, she fell at his feet, her whole body shaking now. He held out his hand and the crowd went quiet. They waited to see what he would do next, they KNEW who she was, they knew to avoid her, why didn’t he know, was someone going to tell him? Then she took his hand and there was an audible gasp. Jesus smiled as she took his hand, he drew her towards him and she stood up, in front of him, in front of all of THEM. Finally, they SAW her, finally she was acknowledged.

“Daughter” Jesus said “It’s OK, don’t be afraid, I know what you have been through, I know how you have been forced to live separated from even those you love. You can go in peace now, your faith has healed you, you are freed from your suffering, both that which came with your condition and that which was put upon you by others.”

Where do you think you would have been had you been there?
Have you ever imagined yourself into a well known story, whether from a faith background, or a historical one?

What Brings Me Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 10 Sep 2017 07:21:00 +0000

There are 3 photos that I keep on the desktop of my computer and all 3 of them bring me joy for different reasons. The first one is the most recent. A good friend of mine (Hi Rachel) has a farm and recently had to hand rear one of the lambs. I was lucky enough to make a visit during that time and I got to bottle feed that beauty up there. Not a tiny little lamb any more, that gorgeous cutie, was as big as the dog and strong, really strong and the bottle was gone in seconds! I didn't even have time to get a photo of the actual feeding.

My friend also gives me joy but because her home is difficult to get to by bus I don't get to see her very often.

The second photo is from a trip I made to Belarus with Operation Christmas Child. The lady on the left is one of the Babushka ladies, in a village we visited. This was in a village not far from the border with Ukraine, so fairly close to the Chernobyl dead zone. It was really cold when we were there, snow at least 2 foot deep.

Obviously most of the shoeboxes were being delivered to children in homes, schools, children's homes, churches etc, but a very small number of boxes had been packed specially for the elderly men and women of these villages. We delivered just 2 of them while we were there. I went with Denise (also in the photo) to one house and two other members of the team went to another house.

This Babushka lady was 84 years old, lived on her own in a house with only cold running water and an outside toilet in a country which has snow on the ground at least 4 months out of the year. Her only heating was via a small wood fire in the living room and an even smaller one in the bedroom. She chopped all her own wood for the fire and grew all her own vegetables. Remember how close to the Dead Zone this is and you wonder whether that was a good idea but she seemed so healthy and so strong for her age. And she smiled the whole time we were there. This was truly one of the highlights of that trip for me.

Finally the year I got gunged at the church holiday club (VBS). It wasn't exactly a PLEASANT experience, oh that stuff was so cold and slimy as it ran down the back of my neck inside my T-shirt, but it was the culmination of a week where we had taken something that the kids loved, Dr Who and used that to teach the children about God as well as having lots of fun during the week.

That's my son over on the left in the stripy shirt, his team had lost the points competition and he was supposed to be gunged (all a set up for what came next of course) but I stepped in at the last moment and took the gunge for him. The kids loved it and it still comes up in conversation sometimes.

These 3 photos bring me joy because they bring back vivid memories of those events. There are loads of other things that bring me joy too, but these are the ones I wanted to share with you today. What brings you joy? What makes you smile? What makes you feel like flinging glitter all over the place?

Apple Cinnamon Donuts

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 07 Sep 2017 12:35:00 +0000

65g Plain Flour
4 teaspoonsTate & Lyle White Sugar with Stevia, 3 in the mix and 1 for the topping
1teaspoons, levelBaking powder
1 1⁄2teaspoons, levelGround Cinnamon, 1tsp in the mix and 1/2 for the topping
1teaspoons, levelVanilla Extract
1⁄2teaspoonsAsda Cider Vinegar, use proper ACV if you have it or lemon juice if none at all
2 TBSPTwo Chicks Free Range Liquid Egg White,
80mlArla Best of Both Milk
75gApple(s), peeled and diced small (I used 1 small apple)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350F, 180C & spray your donut pan and set aside.
Peel and cut your apple into very small pieces.
Mix dry ingredients together then add wet. Gently fold in your apples.
Divide into 5 donuts in your pan. Mix the 1t of sugar and ½t cinnamon in a small bag, sprinkle on to the 5 donuts.
Bake in oven for approx. 9-11 minutes

2 SMART POINTS per donut, but unfortunately 5 SMART POINTS for 2

Adapted to UK measurements from Original Recipe on Drizzle Me Skinny

Wistful Mermaid & Deconstruction Poem

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Tue, 05 Sep 2017 09:07:00 +0000

I said on day 1 of this September blog along that there would be a whole mix of things during this month. So today I'm sharing a recent spread from my art journal followed by a poem I wrote a few years ago. Considering this is the first face I've painted in around 2 or 3 years, and in a style that is a bit different from what I have done before, I am quite pleased with her.

I had not intended to share things from previous posts, but then I wrote yesterday's post and this poem seems so appropriate. This was written around the start of my deconstruction.

Did you ever read a verse and think

“Did God really say that?”

Did you ever read a verse and think

“Surely something

was lost in translation”?

Did you ever read a verse and think

“I’m not sure I want any part

of a God who can

Do that

Say that

Be that way.”

No?

Maybe we

Are reading different bibles.

Did you ever read a verse and think

“If THAT is true

They Why

Does My

Life prove the opposite?”

Some would tell me

I just need more . . . . .

More what?

More faith?

More study?

More bible?

More prayer?

More church?

As if adding something more

To our overloaded lives

Our overloaded minds

Our overloaded hearts

And souls

Is going to fix ANYTHING

So maybe we need less.

Less TV?

Less distractions?

Less busy?

Less stuff?

Less . . . . ?

Less, less, less

As if taking something away

From our aching, empty hearts,

The spaces in our souls,

Emphasising what

And who

Is no longer THERE

Is going to fix anything.

It’s like we play

a giant game of Jenga

With our lives.

“Take this from here

And put it there.”

“Take A away

And add in B.”

All the time waiting

For what seems

Inevitable

Oh come on now,

Surely you know

How this game goes.

Slowly

But surely

The tower grows

Taller

And taller

And taller it goes.

Less and less stable

No longer secure

Taller

And taller

And “Be careful”

“Watch out!”

“Don’t dare breathe.”

And everyone

Who’s playing the game

Knows what’s coming,

Hoping

Even praying

That their move

Won’t be the move

To bring it

Crashing down.

Hoping no one will see

The gaps

The empty spaces

The questions

In their hearts.

“Hold it together”

“Don’t let anyone see”

“Never mention the questions”

Well now

You

Can see me

Now you know

Now it’s clear

MY tower is not secure

But I know I’m not the only one,

And I know I’m not alone

And I can tell you I’m still hanging on

To the God by whom I’m known

To the God who knows my questions

To the God who hears my heart

To the God who knows

and hears

and loves.

Did you ever read a verse and think

“Did God really say that?”

Did you ever read a verse and think

“Surely something

was lost in translation”?

Did you ever read a verse and think

“Surely He

Can’t love Me

THIS MUCH”?

Did you ever read a verse and think

“This God,

This grace,

This mercy,

This love . . . .

This is something I have to have”?

If you like listening to words like this read in a British accent, or you want to see what I looked like before I got my hair cut, you can check out me reading this poem on YouTube.

What Do You No Longer Believe - Effy's September Blog Along Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 04 Sep 2017 09:30:00 +0000

I am going to continue to be a day behind Effy's prompts for a while at least.
Today’s Nudge: Write about something you used to believe that you no longer believe and how that shift in belief has changed things for you.

Oh my word, there are sooooo many things I could write here and some of it is SO complicated.
I'll be upfront because I know that not everyone involved in the Blog Along is the same, I am a Christian. BUT I feel like I need to say something like "I'm not THAT sort of Christian." Putting this out here, in written form is a risk, but I'm doing it because I need to get this out somehow.

I used to believe that the Bible was the word of God, every word of it, that it was all truth, not just truth for when it was written but truth for now. I still believe in God, I am still a Christian, but I have come to a place of understanding that the Bible is a complicated creature, that contains all sorts of literature. We would never attempt to understand a piece of poetry in the same way we try to understand a writing of history or science. We wouldn't interpret a biography in the same way that we interpret a piece of fiction based in a particular period of history.

I believe the Bible contains many words of God, but I also believe that the process of taking those stories that had been passed down through many oral traditions, and collating them into a written form, was a process that was controlled by people, mainly men and mainly men in positions of power of some sort. I believe that the later decisions over what would be included in the Bible and what would not was also a process that was controlled by a group of powerful men.

I have learnt to look at history through a lens of "Who wrote this?" The truth is that it is the victors, the people who are the ones in power, who have traditionally been the ones to control what is written as history. I look at certain parts of the bible in a similar way now, "who wrote this" "what were they trying to communicate?" "Who were they trying to communicate to?" "What was the context they were writing in?" "when did it happen?" "how long after that was it written down?" and so on.

I also believe it is possible to be Gay and Christian, I did not always believe that, yeah I know, I was a pretty sucky person back then who believed what she was told rather than seeking truth for herself. I believe it is possible to be Trans and be Christian, I believe in Gay Marriage. I know that not everyone who is a Christian believes the same things, I know that not everyone who attends the same church I do, believes the same things. I believe that makes being part of that church complicated but not at this time impossible, because I believe in the 4th of my 5 mottoes for this year (see below) and I will continue to try to understand where they are coming from and find the common ground that we do have.

Students with Disabilities

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Tue, 22 Aug 2017 14:49:00 +0000

My youngest son has 2 chronic digestive conditions. That and the fact that he has just finished his degree and is off to do his Masters soon classes him as a disabled student. No it doesn't mean he has to use a wheelchair or other mobility aid, but it affects him in ways that are generally hidden from those he interacts with at university. Hidden Disabilities are just as real.

There are facilities and systems in place at major universities that are supposed to "level the playing field" for all students with disabilities compared to their fellow students. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't.

Yesterday my son had a phone interview with the Disability Service at the university he will be attending from next month for his full year Masters Course. This morning he received an email back from the service and I have to say that out of all the interactions he has had during his studies, this is the one that has understood the best, recommended the most and I am just in awe of them compared to previous interactions. To the extent that I want to hug the woman who has dealt with his case. Hug her and send her gifts. In fact I have even stated this morning, "I want to marry her!"

Eating out with Gastroparesis - "Company Policy" v "Manager's Discretion"

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 06 Jul 2017 16:06:00 +0000

When your adult son has digestive conditions that mean he has to eat 6 small meals a day and you have a week coming up where you will all need to eat out for a number of days you start planning ahead and emailing head offices of a number of restaurant chains to ask PERMISSION (yes it's ridiculous) for an adult to eat from the child's menu.

Some are amazing and tell you that yes of course it is possible and anyone is allowed to eat from their children's menu at any time for any reason - YAY for Wagamama

Some do not even bother to reply to your emails even though this is the second time you have emailed them with a similar question - Yes I'm talking about you Bella Italia

And some give you this ridiculous response that feigns concern for your son whilst saying that any decision on allowing an adult to eat from the children's menu would have to be at an individual manager's discretion. - Yes, that's you Whitbread group.

Here's why that is not OK.

Individual manager's discretion rather than company policy breaks disability legislation as my son's conditions are classed as a disability. Anything that would be classed as a normal part of living (and eating is part of that) comes under disability discrimination legislation.
Individual manager's discretion means that any time my son wants to eat out he cannot plan ahead like any normal person, check out the menu online and think "Yes. I'll be able to eat there", he has to wait until he gets there and risk being turned away or have the embarrassment and expense of having to play phone tag trying to get hold of a manager, ahead of time in order to ask a question that should not need to be asked.

We've had people tell us he should just buy a normal adult portion and take half home or leave half of it or whatever.

It's embarrassing always having to ask for a take out box in front of friends and family and especially if it colleagues and so on.
In my son's case he knows that if the full portion is placed in front of him he will be tempted to risk it "just this once" and pay for it later.
Taking it home is all very well if you are going straight home, but does not work if you staying in a hotel room without a fridge or heading somewhere else (such as the cinema or for a shopping trip) before going home.
Just leaving it is incredibly wasteful in a time when we are all being encouraged to be more careful with food waste.
Why should he be forced to pay for food he is not going to be able to eat just so that he can eat with friends and family.

These chains all have gluten free and dairy free items clearly marked on their menus so they are used to dealing with issues such as that around food, and willing to comply on those issues. Why can it not be company wide policy to also allow an adult who needs to, to eat from the children's menu?

2015 - The Year of AGAIN

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 07 Jan 2015 23:30:00 +0000

2014 had been hard for me on many levels, and has fit with my theme for the year in ways that I never imagined it doing when we began this journey back in January 2014.

I have studied and explored the stages of faith and grown to understand that this in between stage I have found myself in, in relation to my faith, this place of doubts, questions, refusal to accept the previous "easy answers" and yes, even anger, is a normal, natural part of the journey. I have lived an "in between" stage with my health as we try a block and replace therapy to try and solve an overactive thyroid, and CPAP therapy continues for my sleep apnoea with a new wonder mask that has proved difficult to adjust to. I have lived an in between stage in my marriage in some ways too as my husband spent 21 weeks out of a run of 53, working away in Germany. I have certainly lived in between as a mother, as my eldest graduated from university in June 2014 and came back home to live until he finds a permanent job in his field (good news, he has an interview on Monday) but my youngest left for university in September 2014. This has meant I have also lived in between with my creativity as what was my craft room is the eldest's bedroom once again until he finds a place of his own. And of course I have lived in between with my writing, as some pieces I had written at the beginning of the year were held onto but not used by the person who asked for them, and then, the day after I said "enough is enough, I take them back" I was asked to join the team at middle places, and really what more "in between" could you get than MIDDLE PLACES.

For a number of years my theme for the year has coincided unexpectedly with where our church body found itself that year too, and 2014 was no exception (although 2015 is different, but more on that later), as we left the building that was previously our church home and moved to a new building that we are currently only renting until we can arrange the purchase. So, in between, again.

And then we move on to 2015, and a search for a theme, well, not exactly, you see, I had thought about it being the time of year to think on a theme but I hadn't really got any further than that and then one day I was thinking about something else and this word came up, just one word, and it was like it dropped into my spirit and my spirit went "that's it, that's the word for the year ahead." The word is AGAIN.

"Oh great" I thought, "are we just doing in between for a whole other year?" But it wasn't that simple, because then another word dropped in alongside again, and that was HOPE, HOPE AGAIN, now that I liked, who wouldn't right? So I sat with that for a couple of days and then more and more words began to drop into my spirit, each of them fitting alongside AGAIN.

BEGIN AGAIN
HOPE AGAIN
BELIEVE AGAIN
LOVE AGAIN
DANCE AGAIN
CREATE AGAIN
TRAVEL AGAIN
SMILE AGAIN
DREAM AGAIN
LAUGH AGAIN

I am sure there will be more. So far there are no signs that this year's theme sits easily alongside where our church family finds itself this year, but it has turned out to sit alongside the Middle places theme for the coming year. When I began to think of "again" as my theme, I already knew that the Middle Places theme for this month was (Re)Life or Real Life but then one night last week, while I was sleeping and the rest of the team were awake (that ocean between us has a lot to answer for, time zones included) It was decided that we would be keeping (Re) for most of the year, with different words coming after it each time.

re-
1. a prefix, occurring originally in loanwords from Latin, used with the meaning “again” or “again and again” to indicate repetition.

So there you have it, my theme sits perfectly alongside the Middle Places theme for the year, so I am excited to see what this year will bring!

You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.

May You Know What It Means To Be Loved - (a blessing)

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 20:57:00 +0000

As I may have mentioned last time, I want to finish this series of posts with a blessing. It might not seem like a blessing in places but read it right through and weigh up whether it’s a blessing you want to receive or not . . . . (scroll down for video version).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May you know what it means to be loved.

May you know in the depths of your soul, the bravery of standing as who you are, the joy of removing that mask, the delight of tearing down those walls.

And yes, may you know too the fear that comes with that, for in knowing this fear and doing it anyway, we learn that we are loved.

May you know the fear of not being accepted, and step out anyway, because you know the One who ultimately accepts you.

May you know the fear of really being seen and step out into the light anyway, because you know the One who Is light.

May you know the anxiety that comes with trying something new, and try anyway because you know the one who promises to go with you.

May you know all these things because you began the journey of knowing what it means to be loved, a journey into the very heart of God. A journey that begins with loving and accepting yourself.

©Zoe Gregg (Aisling Beatha) January 2014

That brings to an end the series of posts that were originally written to be used elsewhere. Check back next week for more from Thoughtful Thursdays.

You can check out the sites I link up to over in my sidebar. Before you go, why not check out my recipes index page, or my craft projects index page, I am sure you will find something there to interest you.