God's Grace

New Websites and Writing Tips

2012-02-12T14:38:00.000-08:00

Jason Comerford Photography has a new website! It's quite pretty, if I do say so myself. I'm even there in the "About Us" section. Check it out at www.jasoncomerford.com!

Also, I've been writing and editing writing tips for The Scribe Source. It's a quick, easy way to learn a little facts that will help you communicate more effectively. Come take a look at http://www.thescribesource.com/ or follow the Facebook page here.

Random Overheard Conversation

2012-02-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

Just found this draft from when I was in Kona. Had to share:

Guy 1: "Dude, you're so cool, you can be the best man in my wedding!"
Guy 2: "Uh, you can come to my wedding."
Guy 3: "You can send a gift to mine."

Birthdays and Small Business

2012-02-02T16:08:00.000-08:00

I do like the chance to shop at Target and get everything picked up at once. I do like knowing that I can get at least decent coffee from a Starbucks in London as well as in Puyallup. And I do like getting good deals on Amazon every once in a while.

However, there's something different about going to a locally owned establishment. Perhaps I'm a little biased, since my husband owns and runs a small business and I do editing and writing for a small business that in turn works for small businesses and nonprofits. And I thought the idea of business classes sounded absolutely dreadful. Go figure.

Today is Jason's birthday, and to celebrate we went to our favorite little Chinese restaurant by PLU. It's called The Tea Leaf, and Jason's been going there since his freshman year of college 6 years ago. The owner, whose name I can't type because it's Korean and I would butcher it, loves Jason. She asks how his work is doing, how his parents are, where his parents live, if we're going to visit them any time soon, etc. I mentioned that we're celebrating his birthday, and she brought out an entire extra plate of potstickers, AND gave us Jason's meal for free. Yes, he has invested lots and lots of time and money into that business over the years, but she didn't need to do that. And after every course she thanked us. No sense of entitlement there, eh?

When we're in the middle of a big faith journey, it's so encouraging to see that God is blessing us. I love it when He uses yummy Chinese food!

God Works Tomorrow--and Now!

2012-01-31T12:21:00.000-08:00

As long as I've know Jason, he's wanted to be a full-time photographer. He's one of the few photographers I know who loves to shoot weddings, and is actually very, very good at it. He's had his own business for about 2 years now, but it's always been on the side. We've known for a while that God would one day make it a full-time occupation, but it was always a dream for the future. It's so easy to believe that God can do something in the future, since it's still a mystery. But God doing something in the present, now that's hard to believe.

Anyway, God has been closing doors on us. Doors of job opportunities that we thought for sure would be wide open have been shut rather decidedly. On the other hand, opportunities seem to be opening up for the business, slowly but surely. After prayer and counsel, we've decided that it's time to do this photography business full time. We knew God would work through this business, and we believe that it's actually happening now.

However, that doesn't mean that we automatically have 50 weddings planned for this year and never have to worry about money again. The business is still developing, and it's taking a lot of time, effort, money, and, most of all, faith. We need to actually trust that God knows what He's doing (which He does). We need to believe that He will provide for us, even when it doesn't make sense. We need to have faith that God is in control, even when it doesn't look like it. It's a huge step of faith, but we know that it's the right thing to do.

So, Jason Comerford Photography is officially in business! We now have a Twitter that you can follow, https://twitter.com/#!/jason_comerford. You can also visit his website, www.jasoncomerford.com. Please pray that GOd will continue to bless this business, use it to glorify Him, and continue to grow our faith during this time.

I'll continue to update this blog with some of my adventures being a housewife and starting a business. Keep reading!

A Year in Review

2012-01-28T17:05:00.000-08:00

I know, it's been a while. But rather than apologize for the months of not writing and talk about how nobody probably reads this anyway, I'm going to give a brief (hopefully) overview of 2011 and then jump into my current life.

January
Most of you know from the last updates, but I had the privilege of being a nanny for two of my favorite little girls at the YWAM Kona missions base. The best January I ever had.

February
My boyfriend Jason surprised me with a visit in Hawaii. We were at a rough place, but he chose to show his love for me by dropping everything and meeting me there.
Also, The Melting Pot for Valentine's Day. Just sayin'.
I started my last semester of university.

March
Not much happened. I mostly agonized over writing poetry that would let me pass my capstone class.

April
Jason and I went to Leavenworth for the day. Lots of great German food and a wonderful tea shop were the highlights of this Bavarian town.

May
Jason asked me to marry him! It's a long story, but it involved a day trip to Sequim, buying an E for our Scrabble game, one of the longest sand spit in the world, and a lot of speechlessness.
I graduated from PLU! I was actually kind of sad to be done. I miss school, and I keep trying to find excuses to visit professors. Yeah, I'm a bit odd. Our commencement ceremony was actually really good, included wonderful speakers. Jason's parents flew up for my graduation.

June
I moved into the Zion Women's Ministry House to sublet for someone for the summer. I loved living with 8 other girls, some of whom were my best friends. It was the perfect place to relax for the summer.
Wedding planning started.
I started working as an independent contractor for The Scribe Source. This is a business that does writing and editing for small businesses and nonprofits. Since then I've been able to write, transcribe, and edit for a variety of projects, and I LOVE it. I was so blessed to be given work within my major so quickly.

July
My first bridal shower was a lovely tea party at the end of July at the Zion House. Dianna was gracious and let me make my own Shakespeare game. :D Jason's mom came up and helped with wedding and bridal shower planning.

August
I turned 22 and had a Lord of the Rings marathon to celebrate. We did take breaks, don't worry.
I had my second bridal shower, a fun get-together with some of the women who watched my grow up at my old church.

September
Now this is a story that most of you know and is way too long to post on here. To put it simply, I passed out at a friend's wedding and had to have emergency heart surgery. The groom's parents "just so happened" to be doctors, and I "just so happened" to be near one of the best hospitals for heart surgery in the nation. Many, many people prayed for me, from 5 continents, I believe. Jason's parents flew up to be with us, and I had friends who came to the hospital almost daily.
Friends came up to throw me a "bachelorette" party at the hospital (they joined me in wearing hospital gowns, made me a tiara, and watched Enchanted with me), much to the amusement of the nurses. The nurses offered us a stripper, but they say he'd probably be 80 and have a catheter; we declined.

October
I finally got to go home and stay home! After much drama, a doctor finally figured out that I had whooping cough, which was making it a lot harder for me to recover. It eventually went away, and my heart surgeon released me.
Jason's mom stayed with us for most of the month to help with me.
My heart surgeon, a very experienced doctor, told me that he had only operated on two other patients as sick as I was--neither of them made it.
Once I was given the clean bill of health, Jason and I decided to, well, get married. That way we could live together, and Jason could more easily handle the hospital bills. In less than a week we planned a tiny ceremony, and on October 22, 2011, we were married.

November
We couldn't just have a tiny ceremony and not celebrate with all our friends! In about 3 weeks we put together another wedding, this time as a sort of replacement for the original. So, on November 11, 2011, we were married again!
We also had our first married Thanksgiving at the Petersons' house. By the end of the day I was rather thankful I didn't need to make the whole meal.

December
Jason and I celebrated our first Christmas together as a married couple. It was quiet, but we were able to have a tree and a lasagna dinner.

Okay, that's it for now. If you have any questions you can always email or FB message me, or just stalk my FB. Current updates will come soon!

English Lesson

2011-01-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

"We don't eat cats! We eat dogs- and silkworms!" ~ my Chinese roommate

Little did I know that using the word litter for both trash and kittens would upset her so much.

Nanny Highlights

2011-01-12T22:19:00.000-08:00

* There's a gazebo near the tree house Raegan likes to visit. She asked me what it was and I said a gazebo. She now calls it either a "gazeeba" or the "zageebo."

* The other day Raegan took out her Barbies and said "They're getting their noses cut." I asked why, at first thinking it was nose piercing. She said, "Because they aren't perfect." I panicked. How did she find out about plastic surgery?! Suddenly I remembered that she had just watched the Veggie Tales Pinnochio movie. In it "Pistachio" had to have his nose trimmed by his father because it had grown after he lied. We had a talk about wooden people vs. real people.

* Anabelle got to try real solid food for the first time today. I never knew Ritz crackers could be such a mess.

* Raegan read my Bible today. The story went something like, "And God saved your life and for 400 years. And you and me are going to work together now, and you're powerful!"

Ohana

2011-01-08T23:25:00.000-08:00

So nannies aren't exactly the most noticed people at the YWAM base. I get to participate in activities when I'm not watching the kids, but it's not the easiest position. The enemy's been trying to tell me that I'm not going to get anything out of this, that this is for students and not for me, that I'm not going to be here long enough, etc. Jordan and Danielle prayed for me this morning and called me out on it, and I repented and asked for God's grace.
The day was fun, in town with the Boleys and then a rather stressful afternoon with the kids. At night there was a dessert social for all the students, and after eating a lot of wonderful sweets we sat at tables and were told to each answer 3 questions.

#1. How did you come to know the Lord?
#2. What has been your biggest struggle/the hardest thing you've had to come through?
#3. What's your biggest, ultimate dream?

There were 8 of us at my table, and we ended up talking for probably 2 hours. Simple icebreaker questions, but something happened. The Holy Spirit came and we were all overwhelmed, we finished our talking by praising God and praying for each other. Suddenly I saw and experienced what I had been hearing over and over again the past couple of days: ohana. It's Hawaiian for family (think Lilo & Stitch), and the leaders have been impressing it on everyone that this is who we are now.

I know that I need to go back. I miss my friends, I really miss Jason, and I don't think I could survive Hawaii once the weather isn't "mild." But tonight I actually wished that I could stay for longer. Ohana made me long to stay.

P.S.- My allergies are doing a lot better. I actually wore contacts today! Keep praying, though. :)

Next Adventure: Kona!!!

2011-01-07T15:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it hasn't quite been a year since the last post. It just feels like it. It was almost a year ago that I stepped on the plane to London, and just yesterday I stepped on another plane to go west.
My dear friends Jordan and Danielle Boley felt called to pack up everything and take their family to do a Discipleship Training School with Youth With a Mission (YWAM) in Kona, Hawaii. Not only do I love them, but I adore their kids, too. So when they needed a nanny, they asked me to come along with them. Unfortunately, I can't stay for the entire 3 months because of school, but I am totally blessed to be able to nanny for them for the first month of their DTS. The decision was made and forms were filled out in the nick of time, and suddenly I found myself in a tropical climate for the first time ever.
I have some amazing roommates from all over the world- Norway, Canada, Russia, and Hawaii! Most of them are doing their own DTS programs, but one other is a nanny. It feels very much like camp- camp food, a small room with bunk beds, lots and lots of unfamiliar faces, ants . . . During the weekdays I get to hang out with the Boley girls while mom and dad are in school. Raegan is 3 and adjusting well, although it's very confusing and hard for her. Anabelle is 10 months and just starting to walk, which makes it that much more challenging to keep those girls occupied! They are very sweet girls, though, and I feel super blessed to be here.

Random: I saw a strange animal by the playground, a little girl informed me that it was a mongoose. I heard they eat snakes, so I now really like them.
More random information: The moon is upside down! The moon was a sliver last night, and the sliver was on the bottom instead of the side. It was very bizarre. I keep on reminding myself I'm in another state, not another country.

If you read this, please pray for my health. I've been having eye problems, and it's hard to stay upbeat and to focus on things when my eye is hurting. I think my allergies are acting up, too, which isn't helping. Praise the Lord, I got a nap in today!

I'll keep you updated!

Just Me and My God

2010-08-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

When I went to London, I went to London alone. Many nights were spent frustrated, crying, and feeling absolutely alone. I was never able to plug into a church, and 99% of the students at my program didn't know the Lord or knew a false idea of Him. It was in the loneliness that God met me and showed me more of Who He was, not Who everyone else was telling me He was. I was given the ability to adore His beauty and to see it in things I hadn't seen it in before. I was able to seek Him before humans because He was the only one to help me sometimes. And in the midst of all this I learned to love the sinner without trying to save them myself.

Now, in Tacoma, I've faced a different sort of loneliness. For a great deal of my summer most of my closest friends have been absent in one way or another. I've had to learn to seek the Lord before my friends, even now that my friends aren't several thousand miles away. And you know what it's done? It's forced me to trust my God.

I've had to learn to trust God and not my own understanding or others' understanding. I'm still learning to trust Him even when I don't have a job or a place set up for the fall. I've just barely begun to stop setting my eyes on myself and see that God has much bigger things going on around me.

School probably shows best what God is doing in me right now. I've never thought that I was a poet. In fact, I didn't really like poetry. That is, until last January when, by the grace of God, my professor taught me the basics and then told me that I was incredibly gifted and should pursue poetry. Through a strange series of events God stripped me of my own attempts at planning my school year. He kept me from choosing what I felt I could have done by my own power pretty easily. And then, in His own ways, He confirmed that I was to take more poetry classes. Scared to death, I enrolled in Intermediate Poetry in order to take the poetry capstone in the spring, making my entire PLU career focused on poetry.

I can't write poetry on my own. I can't be a poet without God directly working in me. It needs to be God. Where before school was my comfort zone, now God has made it someplace where I need to be completely dependent on Him. And it's exciting. I have my loved ones close to me again, but now I get to be blessed by them while trusting my God to sustain me. Praise God!

Football, Temper Tantrums, and Bookstores

2010-07-18T16:08:00.001-07:00

Two months back in the States. Is it possible? Most of my British mannerisms seem to be gone, although it was really hard to say the word soccer during the World Cup. It makes more sense to call it football, especially since most of the world does!

I'm nannying Mondays and Thursdays this summer for a family with 6 kids. It's been challenging, to be sure, but also kind of fun. I'm learning so much, too. For instance, children cannot comprehend the big picture. You tell them they can't eat a snack at 4:30 because dinner's at 5:00, and they wonder why you're so mean as to starve them like that. After I'm done getting impatient, I realize how similar I am to that child. After all, I like to pretend that I know what I need better than God does. How could He delay giving me what I ask Him? Doesn't He know I need it right now? How many times have I thrown my own adult temper tantrums because God didn't allow me to spoil my appetite for the good things He had planned for me?

I'm really enjoying not being in a long distance relationship. Jason and I have been able to spend lots of quality time together, and the Lord has totally been working in both of us together. This last week we spent a day in Port Townsend, where we had a picnic, explored a creepy old fort, and visited the really cool Victorian downtown. The highlight was for sure the old bookstore we found- by the grace of God, I was able to limit myself to buying only 3 books!

I'm missing London a lot, but God is blessing me this summer. :)

A Fond Farewell

2010-05-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today I went to Borough Market with Lizzie and Hannah Lee and roamed the food market (like Pike's Place, but very much a London market). We ordered pies and a pasty for lunch and ate in the courtyard of the church where Shakespeare worshiped, down the road from the Globe. We had a long conversation with the distinctly English man selling us fresh Turkish Delight, and we bought hot mulled wine from two men who told us their recipe and how they don't add sugar like other mulled wine makers. Lizzie and I took our last double-decker bus to Waterloo Station and then crossing the foot bridge, saying goodbye to Big Ben and the London Eye from our view above the Thames River. I went off on my own to the National Portrait Gallery, said hi to Henry VIII and William Morris and Queen Elizabeth II and Oscar Wilde. I visited the tea shop on the Strand, bought myself a tea tidy so I can make a proper cup of tea back in the States. Then, picking up a London Evening Standard, I descended into Charing Cross Underground Station and took the Tube back to Alice's house.

Farewell, London, my dear, dear friend. I will return.

Restlessness

2010-05-10T05:24:00.000-07:00

I can't concentrate on anything.
Sleep doesn't come easily, and when it comes it's too long or too short.
I'm not worried about finals, and it's hard to force myself to study.
A large suitcase sits underneath my desk, a duffel bag next to my chair, and every so often I get the urge to add things to their half-empty bodies.
My shelves are half-filled, a large stack of books now transferred to my dresser where they await their return to the AHA building.
I'm constantly trying to think of things I can leave behind or use up so that my luggage will be lighter for travel.
I treat myself to drinks or scones or other British food, knowing that it might be my last chance to savour these things for a long time.
I tell my heart to be still, my mind to focus on homework, my restless body to settle down; it doesn't work.

I'm leaving my home.

I'm going home.

Beatles, Cricket, a Punt, Fish, and a Box

2010-05-02T04:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm currently in a rush to try and mark things off my "To Do Before I Leave London" list. Here's some of the highlights of this past week:

*Some friends and I went to Abbey Road.

*My history class visited Lord's Cricket Grounds, the center of cricket. I'm still pretty foggy on the rules of cricket, but I did sort of figure it out by the time we left the match.

*I saw the play Women Beware Women, the musical Billy Elliot, and Riverdance. The play was really twisted but in an odd way beautiful, the musical had incredible dancing and one of the best child actors I've ever seen, and Riverdance was way overpriced but beautiful and fun.

*I got to hang out with Jason's roommate from last year, Luke, and his friend from his study abroad program in Ireland. It was fun to catch up and show them around. I've missed Luke!

*Katy and our friend Corinne and I went back to Oxford on Friday. We tried a punt (those long boats with poles that you use to push it through the river) and utterly failed, so we ended up taking a pedal boat down the river. We went back to the Eagle and Child, and we bought university clothing. This time I got to go see the Magdalen College, where C. S. Lewis taught! It was incredible, I nearly cried. Everyone was so nice to us, too. The porter at Magdalen let us each get in for one pound "on account of the bad weather" (it's normally 3 pound fifty each). Afterward when we went to Merton College (the one where Tolkien taught), the porter let us in for free instead of the usual two pound fifty. The picture below is of Lewis's rooms at Magdalen.

*On Saturday some friends and I went to Brighton, a hippie town by the sea. It was beautiful, much like a colder British version of a South California beach town. We rode a carousel, went to a pub, went shopping, relaxed on the rocky shore. Oh, and I ate fish and chips for the first time in England. I know, I know, how could I spend 3 months in England and not eat fish and chips? Well, I don't like fish, so this was a breakthrough for me. I made it through, but I think that I've had enough breakthrough in this area to last me awhile. I'll stick to steak and ale pie. ;)

I'm having a great time, and I'm loving London more and more. Yet, the best part of this week came Thursday night, when I got home late and found a package waiting for me on my bed. Whitney had brought it back for me (she had class and so got to the mail when I didn't), and she had placed an airmail sticker on the customs form to cover up what was inside the box. I waited until I had finished up my other tasks for the night. I crawled into bed, exhausted, kind of grumpy, frustrated over plans; I picked up the box. Opening it, all I did was read the introduction letter from Jason before I started crying. Jason had asked my friends to write letters and notes of encouragement to me, and he had sent them all to me via ridiculously expensive and slow air mail. As I read the notes one by one, I was overcome by how much I am loved- by Jason, by my friends, by God! The words were right on, and the encouragement was exactly what I needed at that moment.

I love London, but I can't wait to see my amazing friends in person. The box is helping me last until May 15th. :)

Happy St. George's Day! And happy birthday, William!

2010-04-25T14:41:00.000-07:00

Friday was St. George's Day. St. George is the patron saint of England; I believe he slayed a dragon, I'm not sure what else he did. The flag of England in theory should be shown on St. George's Day, which is a white flag with a red cross (NOT to be confused with the British flag, the Union Jack we're familiar with). The people of England, with their huge amount of English pride, do basically nothing for their official holiday.
BUT, the good news is that scholars believe that William Shakespeare was born and died on that same day, April 23rd. That means that literary and theatrical nerds from all over the world travel to Shakespeare's hometown of Stratford-upon-Avon to celebrate. Our program had the wonderful chance to participate in this pilgrimage.
Once we got to Stratford-upon-Avon on Friday, we almost immediately visited Shakespeare's grave, his birthplace, and the house he was living in when he died. The grave was, well, a grave. Really, I've never understood the big deal about seeing graves. The birthplace was fun to visit; in honor of Shakespeare's birthday photography was allowed in the house and there was mead tasting in the garden (I kind of liked mead, by the way). I almost couldn't tear myself away from the giftshop! The last house was kind of boring; the garden is getting torn apart right now because archeologists are digging it up to find Shakespeare relics, and the house didn't have much to see.
After our museum visits, Katy, Whitney, Sarah, and I happened upon a souvenir shop which was selling cheap St. George's Day items. We couldn't help but get in the spirit- each of us got a little English flag to wave. It got better, though. When we went to a pub for dinner, we discovered a collection of St. George's Day English flag crowns- like Burger King crowns, only selling ale instead of burgers. Katy bravely asked the bartender if we could have some. Apparently the bartender was a little puzzled, but they let us take them. We spent the majority of the remainder of our time in Stratford-upon-Avon with crowns on our heads and little flags waving.
That night we watched a performance of King Lear by the Royal Shakespeare Company. All I can say is, wow. It was intense, to say the least. A tragedy with themes of the Apocalypse and betrayal and insanity, it was incredibly well done but also very hard to watch.
We all spent the night in various Bed & Breakfasts (sooooo nice after our hostel experiences!). The next day we hurried off to Anne Hathaway's house (the house where Shakespeare's wife lived before she married). It was very lovely, had beautiful gardens and another all-too-tempting gift shop. After we finished, we went to the parade. Every year they hold a parade with important town officials, various schools, boy scouts, girl guides, drama groups, and other random people. The parade ends at Shakespeare's grave, by which everyone lays down flowers. It was a lot of fun, and an older couple in the parade gave Katy and I sprigs of rosemary when they saw our English spirit (rosemary is traditionally worn on that day to symbolize remembrance). I decided that when I have kids I want to dress up in Elizabethan clothes with my husband and my little kids and take part in the parade. You would agree with me if you saw how adorable the kids were!
Probably the other best part of the day was our ferry ride. For 50 pence (roughly 75 cents) we got take about a 5-minute ferry ride across the river. For the celebration, a Royal Shakespeare Company actor rode on the boat and recited a sonnet to us. So lovely! There were also actors roaming the town and randomly acting scenes from A Midsummer Night's Dream. It was always fun when we stumbled upon a fight scene.
On the train ride home we had one more adventure. It just so happened that we were sharing our train car with two of the actors from King Lear! One of them, Kathryn Hunter, played a really, really great fool, and she's also been in some films (like Harry Potter). We were able to get their autographs and talk to them for a short time. The play was so good, we were slightly starstruck by our run-in.
My weekend was so much fun! I still can hardly believe I had the opportunity to do all of this. I am so blessed. :)

The Lion King

2010-04-22T04:11:00.000-07:00

So Katy and I got the chance to see The Lion King musical on the West End last night. Because of the lovely practice of student concession prices, we got £53 seats in the front row of the first balcony for £21! Such a great view, it was fantastic. I was excited to see the play, but it moved me in a way I wasn't expecting. At the introduction, with incredible, massive puppets making it up the aisles, ensemble members singing African lyrics from boxes on either side of us, the music from the orchestra coming from below- something about it really affected me. Perhaps it's the Xhosa that they use, or the South African cast members, I don't know, but as the musical began I was hit by it- this is Africa! That essence, that indescribable feeling that is Africa, they got it right! I was moved to tears, and I wasn't even completely sure why. I lived for three weeks in Capetown, in Manenberg, not "real Africa" (that's how I had reasoned with myself for the past 8 months). But no, I realized that it was still Africa, and, even though it wasn't as strong as others had it, I had the Africa effect. The Lion King, in its amazing capturing of Africa, brought me to tears.
The musical itself was fantastic. Definitely not perfect, I had some problems with the production, but it was very good. It felt like African folklore (only more entertaining than the folklore I read in my mythology class last fall), on an epic scale. So much fun! I love how God keeps on giving me great tickets to great theatre. :)
(Here's a link if you'd like to watch some clips from the musical: http://www2.disney.co.uk/MusicalTheatre/TheLionKing/home/index.jsp)

Theatre, Inklings, Bookstore Hopping, and a Garden Proposal

2010-04-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

"It will be said on that day, 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, that He might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for Him; let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation.'" (Isaiah 25:9)
My life seems to be in a period of waiting right now. There's not much else I can do.
But, the good news is that I'm waiting in London, so at least I'm not bored. Here are some of the latest highlights:

*In the last week I saw the musical Wicked and the play The 39 Steps, both absolutely fantastic! I think Wicked has become one of my all-time favorites now. Amazing how God can teach you things through secular theatre. The 39 Steps was a comedy based off of a play which was also a Hitchock film. It consisted of 4 actors playing at least 139 different characters, showing a LOT of great movement. Katy and I also witnessed some stag and hen parties the night we saw The 39 Steps. Apparently Saturday night is the night to look ridiculous.
*I got to go to Oxford last weekend with my school! It was so beautiful there. While there I ate at The Eagle and Child, the pub where C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien and other Inklings often visited. I was simply ecstatic, I could hardly contain myself!
*I went bookstore hopping last Thursday with Katy. I held first editions of Lewis and Tolkien books, among others. At one point I found a first edition of Till We Have Faces, and I just couldn't put it down. I carried it around the store until I finally forced myself to leave. If I had had my debit card with me, and if I didn't have Katy holding me back, I may have done something desperate, like actually buy it! Who cares that it's 125 pounds . . .
*I visited Kew Gardens with Katy and Whitney yesterday. It was beautiful weather, and the gardens were gorgeous. We had a lot of fun taking pictures and spotting random wildlife like squirrels and peacocks. I met a cute little British toddler who showed me around his "house" (a man-made cave sort of thing that's supposed to show you what a badger den is like), and I also proposed to Whitney (she said yes, but later we called it off, we weren't ready for that step just yet [actually one of our photo shoots started looking like an engagement shoot, and the rest you can figure out for yourself]). 'Twas quite fun.

Okay, it's 12:30 a.m. Tomorrow I'm going to the Globe Theatre to celebrate Shakespeare's birthday with some free events, and I probably should do some homework. That darn homework.
Less than a month and I'll be back home.

I am dark, but lovely.

2010-04-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

I've been struggling lately. I miss home, I miss my family, and every moment God's bringing up more nasty control that He wants out of me. I'm realizing yet again that God doesn't want good behavior. He's way more interested in me having a healed heart that is devoted to Him, and the healing process often looks ugly and makes a good Christian look pretty dark.
I have a little book called Daily Light. It has for every day a morning and evening reading which consists of one theme verse, then multiple verses to go along with the first one. The verses are taken from completely different parts of the Bible, yet they flow together quite beautifully. Today's was so perfect and so poetic, I had to share.

I am dark, but lovely.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me. ~ "Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you," says the Lord GOD.
I am a sinful man, O LORD! ~ Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair!
"I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes." ~ You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.
I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. ~ Be of good cheer; your sins are forgiven you.
I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells. ~ You are complete in Him. ~ Perfect in Christ Jesus.
You were washed, . . . you were sanctified, . . . you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. ~ That you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

(Song of Sol. 1:5; Ps. 51:5; Ezek. 16:14; Luke 5:8; Song of Sol. 4:1; Job 42:6; Song of Sol. 4:7l Rom. 7:21; Matt. 9:2; Rom. 7:18; Col. 1:28; 1 Cor. 6:11; 1 Pet. 2:9)

Lonely

2010-04-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

And now is the time when I finally crack.
All I want is one person who's on the same page as me, one person who can identify at all and who isn't an ocean and a continent away.
I want a church family in the same time zone as me.
I don't know if I just made the wrong decision for a church to choose, or if I'm not supposed to get plugged into anything, but it just doesn't seem to be working.
What I wouldn't give for a hug.
Whatever happens, I don't want any cliche answers like "You're not alone, God is with you," or "Just spend some time with the Lord," or "Enjoy London, you'll be back home before you know it." I'm sick of that.
I miss my home.

Mid-term Break, Part 2: Ireland

2010-04-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

Ireland made me appreciate London- a lot!
First of all, we had to take a bus to Stanstead Airport (it's about an hour outside of Central London) and spend the night there at the airport before our plane left the next morning. It was an adventure- one I hope I never have to repeat. It's not easy sleeping on a cold airport floor, no matter how many dozens of other people are also sprawled out around you. After getting a couple hours of sleep here and there, we got onto our RyanAir flight. I think Whitney said it best- it's a cartoon flight. Everything is blue and gaudy yellow, and not-too-subtle commercials play over the plane's speakers every few minutes of the hour-long flight. It's the cheapest you can get, and it's not too hard to figure out why. We did make it through with our ONE bag (no handbags or cameras or anything else are allowed to be carried outside of your one carry-on, and they will charge you 35 pounds if you don't abide by the rules), and we made it safely to Ireland.
I was told that Ireland never snowed. As our flight landed in Dublin, heavy snow was blocking most of our view. It wasn't sticking, just enough to make it wet and cold outside. Welcome to Eire? We did end up having pretty much every kind of weather possible (except for natural disasters, thankfully)- snow, rain, hail, pouring rain, drizzle, cloudy weather, and SUN! Yes, it was sunny for most of Wednesday and Thursday, which I believe was a direct miracle from God. Thank You, Lord! Ireland is much more beautiful when you're not wet.
After landing we took the bus to Abigail's hostel. The bad news was that the hostel just wasn't the best- no baking sheets when we wanted to cook chicken nuggets (we now know that you can use a dinner plate in the oven), nothing to do in the lounge, a complicated security system which kept the key from us, and nice but unapproachable staff. The good news was that our hostel was very clean, had a free luggage room, ensuite bathrooms, and, best of all, free tea at all times (kind of a standard hostel thing, but incredibly appreciated nonetheless).
It didn't take us long wandering the streets of Dublin to realize the biggest problem with the city: it's expensive! I've heard London is the most expensive city on Earth, but now I'm pretty sure Dublin is. We looked around and visited a couple of museums, but we didn't get too much done that first day before we made our way back to our hostel to take a much needed 3-hour nap.
On Tuesday I got to visit the Book of Kells at Trinity College. It's an old, very important illustrated manuscript of the Bible (I suggest looking it up for yourself). Not only did I get to see extremely old manuscripts, but the exhibit also included the Old Library, where other old and valuable books are preserved. The library is magnificent, like the library of my dreams. I'm not sure how to explain it all, but I think that this visit affected me somehow. It's like I remembered what I want to do with my life, one of the things that makes me excited and overjoyed. It gave me some sort of direction.
On Thursday we went to Bray, a small bay town about an hour from Dublin on the overground system. It was beautiful, more like the countryside Ireland I wanted to see. We went for a long walk along the waterfront and on the hill, saw swans, had ice cream, and discovered the Town Hall which was turned into a McDonald's. A more pleasant Ireland than Dublin, it was.
Thursday night we went to a bar where we saw traditional Irish musicians and dancers. It was probably my favorite part of the trip! It was all fantastic (Bulmer's cider is now one of my favorite drinks). The flutist that night had played in the Lord of the Rings, which made me very excited. :D And one of the songs they sang was from P.S. I Love You (the song the guy in the bar sings when she's out drinking). It was a great night!
The rest of the trip was kind of dull. We didn't think when we booked tickets that that Friday was Good Friday- in a Catholic country no less! So, since all the pubs and most of the museums were closed, we did a little shopping and then spent a good 5 or so hours waiting in the lounge until we could leave for our plane back. I think we probably had 10 cups of tea between us.
Our flight back was uneventful, but we did get to take the night bus to bring us back home around 2:30 a.m. Another experience! (night buses are generally known for being a little sketch . . . safe, but usually have a few drunk people going home from partying)
All in all, Ireland was an experience. I'm glad I did it. The countryside was beautiful, the Book of Kells exhibit was great, and the music and dancing was a lot of fun. The whole thing was a character-building experience, to say the least. It was good, but I am SO thankful for London now! Praise God that I can be back at my home, sweet home!

Mid-term, Pt. 1: Wales

2010-03-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

Friday morning Liz, Whitney, and I took a train to Cardiff, Wales. I didn't know a whole lot about Wales, other than the history I was learning from Stephen Lawhead's King Raven Trilogy and the comment on a tourism site, "Wales shares an island with England and Scotland" (Wales is, in fact, a part of the United Kingdom).
This is what I learned:

~Nice hostels aren't always quiet hostels. Our hostel was recently renovated, as was pretty obvious. The halls leading to the dorms were lit by magenta blacklights, and the room numbers were displayed on the doors with blue spotlights. Unfortunately, this seemed to be just the place for a lot of partyers for the weekend, making for a loud couple of nights. Overall, though, it was a very clean and decent hostel, complete with free tea and coffee at all times. Our one roommate was very sweet, a 24-year-old master's student at a university down the street from our school. She wasn't too interested in the party scene, so we ended up hanging out with her Saturday night and watching School of Rock in the t.v. lounge.

~The Welsh are outrageously friendly! On Saturday we walked about 3 1/2 miles down the river to Cardiff Bay. It's a beautiful little bay town, so much fun. When we first got there we saw a lighthouse statue in front of the police station, and on the rocks at the base were written random words like Texan, Tiger growling, Italian, and toaster. We really wanted to know the meaning behind the words, so we decided to be brave and go inside the police station. Expecting a short, impatient answer from a tired officer, we were pleasantly surprised to find a Welsh woman who was very eager to help us. She didn't know the answer, so she asked her co-worker, called a few other co-workers, looked online, did everything she could possibly think of to find our answer! The final answer: it's modern art, there's no meaning to the words.
After our police station experience, we visited the Bay, where we went to the National Assembly Rooms. The women at the front desk answered all our random questions on Wales (about 22% spoke Welsh as a first language about 8 years ago, the number is now larger), but they also printed out all the info we could need for our next museum adventure, St. Fagin's.
On Sunday afternoon Whitney and I were going to check out Moriah Chapel, the place where the Welsh Revival took place in the early 1900s. Well, we didn't know how to get there, so while I was trying to get info from Liz who was online back in London, Whitney boarded a bus and asked the bus driver where it was. He had no idea, and he told her to ask the people on the bus. She did it--she asked the full bus how to get to Moriah Chapel! After everyone said they didn't know, one old man told us where he thought there was one. Our problem was solved, and we only lost our pride.
When we did visit Moriah Chapel for their afternoon worship service, the caretaker was very pleased to show us around and make sure I got a million photos. Although he was so Welsh we couldn't understand a lot of what he said, he was very, very friendly. The people there wouldn't let us get a bus-- the visiting pastor insisted on driving us back to Swansea, and then he took us on a long driving tour of the stunning Swansea coastline. The kindness of Wales was above and beyond what we needed or expected.

~I don't know Welsh, nor do I have the ability to pronounce Welsh. While boarding the bus to Moriah Chapel, I asked for a return ticket to Loughor. The bus driver didn't understand me. I tried again. He still couldn't figure out what I was saying. I yelled to Whitney, who was standing behind 2 giggling preteen girls, and she told me to spell it. I did, and after a moment the bus driver said, "Oh!" and spoke a name which sounded like "l-wispycough-ah." I didn't even try to pronounce it again. Pride? Gone!

~Whitney is an amazing friend. I was ready to give up on finding Moriah Chapel, but she went above and beyond to try and figure out how to get there. She didn't even care about seeing it, but she made sure I was able to go.

~Wales is very different from England. I learned a lot of this while talking to our tour guide pastor. While perhaps not as vocal or politically strong as Scotland, Wales does not like England, nor does it want to be British. Everywhere we looked there was a red dragon or a daffodil, the symbols of Wales. Every sign was both in Welsh and English. The people are friendlier than in London, much more emotional than the stoic English. They have great pride in their culture, something which I think a lot of the English have lost in their quest to be British.

So how was Wales? It was wonderful, a beautiful place full of great people. Yet I don't feel the same sort of connection there that I do in England or Scotland, the feeling that there's something more here, that I belong here for a longer amount of time than a visit. I definitely want to go back to Wales, but right now I don't think it's going to hold the same sort of place in my heart as England.

Beauty

2010-03-24T04:58:00.000-07:00

Although the underground system is full of crowds and pollution, I get excited when I see a new poster advertising a museum or West End show- bright colors or calming artwork- beauty in the midst of the dull and industrial.
The old buildings lining the streets of London tend to be grouped in blocks of identical narrow brick structures, yet the nameplates next to each door are unique to the personalities of the owners- individual beauty in the midst of cookie cutter beauty.
There are quite a few bridges in London, and all of them are either decorated in some vibrant way or designed so uniquely that they are stunning. Beauty in the midst of functionality.
A church is very much alive, even teaches Freedom classes. But they don't meet in a school building or warehouse (like I'm used to). They meet in a building that's at least 75 years old and has stained glass windows and paintings lining the walls. Physical beauty in the midst of spiritual beauty.
You walk down a random central London street, past Sainsbury's Express grocery stores and Pret a Mange organic cafes and Caffe Nero coffee shops and Carphone Warehouse cell phone stores, and there, in the middle of the buildings is a park. It's not a big park, and it's just one in many in central London. But here, in this spot, it provides a green escape from the gray of the city. Beauty in the midst of the crowded.

Over the last three months I've come to appreciate beauty. England has an appreciation for beauty which I think has been lost in the utilitarian, independent, achieving society of America. We need achievers and hardworking people in our society, yes, but I feel like Americans have lost something in our goal-oriented mentality. Gazing on beauty has no tangible value, so we dismiss it as laziness, unless we have already accomplished all of our tasks for the day and are "taking it easy." Yet this is not how we were meant to be.

Scotland

2010-03-07T16:41:00.001-08:00

I know this is late, but I wanted to say a little bit about what my trip to Scotland was like. Our whole school of 29 American students and 1 poor somewhat older British teacher went to Edinburgh last week, Wednesday-Friday.
The train ride was beautiful. It took about 4 hours, and I can only imagine how gorgeous it must be when it's not cloudy. Some areas were snowy, making it even more beautiful as patches of white appeared now and again in the middle of green fields and eventually gray rocky cliffs. So stunning.
The hostel was like a combination between camp and a hotel- bunkbeds in a hotel room without the free toiletries. So much nicer than I expected, so great.
We explored Edinburgh castle, which was quite fun. Honestly, I feel like the excitement of a castle kind of dies down after about half an hour of roaming the stone buildings in frigid, rainy weather. It did have a beautiful view of the city, and great hot chocolate at the cafe, though.
We went to an art museum and a history museum. I definitely appreciated the history museum better- Katy and I spent a long time on just 1 of the 5 floors, exploring the history of Scotland. If you ever want to learn about some huge injustices, explore the history of Scotland. It's full of injustice and atrocity, and ended its life as a nation when its bribed government leaders voted it out of existence. It's a fascinating and sad story that is still being played out.
I went to a pub with a few friends. Very low key, which was nice. One of my friends asked if there was such a thing as a Scottish wine since she doesn't like beer. The bartender laughed and said, "Are you kidding me? Have you seen this weather?" That meant no. She ended up with a strawberry beer which was much better than the pale ale that I had (I've decided that I just don't like beer and I can't change that).
We climbed a hill overlooking the city, and in the freezing, windy weather some of us climbed Nelson's Monument, a tower that gives an incredible view of the city. In this picture, if you see a hill to the right, the castle is on top of it.

We went to the Scottish Parliament building. Interesting fact: in 1999 Great Britain allowed Scotland to form its own Parliament for the first time since 1707 I believe. Scotland wanted to build the building on the hill where the Nelson monument is (there is plenty of space). Instead, Great Britain made them build it in the lowest valley in the city. Anyway, it's a very cool building, and this is a picture of the room where they vote and debate and such.

I wish I could tell more about my trip, but I am simply too tired to write it all now. I will say, however, that this is an incredible nation originally designed to endure hardship with amazing joy. I want to go back to Scotland. I don't know how to describe how I feel about it, but there's so much more that I want to see and discover about the land, I don't think I'm done there.
Here's a poem that I wrote last week to describe the city. It's rough, but hopefully it will give you at least something of a picture of what is really a beautiful land.

Edinburgh
Gray stone layered on gray stone,
Elegant in its blank, bare beauty.
It had a life once, did it not,
When the gray was as silver fresh off
The forge? But smoke soon smothered
In the name of progress, and builders
Demolished in the name of development.
What's left stands bravely, lovely, darkly,
Defying any who would think it dull, yet
Whispering silently, longing for something
More. In the sound of cars, buses, and rain
I can barely hear the prayer: give me life!

London: Week 2

2010-02-22T10:24:00.000-08:00

So I've been here for over 2 weeks now. My room in Harrow is definitely feeling like home- then again, home has always been sort of the latest place where I sleep at night. While my days are constantly different thanks to the varied adventures we choose each day and the unpredictability of the London transit system, my nights have remained pretty consistent. I get ready for bed and sit in my bed, warm underneath my pastel blue and pink blankets, and turn on my computer. I'll turn on the IHOP prayer room and listen to it as I journal the day's events (I've actually managed to journal every single night so far!). The entry often ends with either praise to God for the awesome adventure, or frustration over being away from my friends and wanting to be in a community. By the end I usually end up reading my Bible, writing, or, as of more recently, going through the Song of Songs study. I'll eventually end up on Skype, and if I'm lucky I'll get to have a video conversation with someone I love (If I'm unlucky it's with someone I don't love . . . just kidding). If I end up talking to someone, I won't be able to pull myself away, and I'll be up until around 1 a.m. When I finally convince myself to say goodbye to my interaction with the States, I turn off my computer, set my i-pod to the Cory Asbury prayer room set or to Jason Upton, turn off the lights, and try to sleep. It's in these last minutes, when I'm fading off into sleep, that I seem to get the most revelation. It's been then when God shows me, gently, ways in which I can find more freedom. Instead of hours of intense prayer and weeping and the prophetic, there's been quiet moments of revelation as I'm half-asleep and barely have the physical energy to speak. The Lord has been gentle with me.

Highlights of week 2:
* Meeting Jennalise and other awesome people!
* Laughing at references to American politics at the British play "Enron." The British audience didn't understand why talking about Florida votes during the Gore-Bush elections was so funny, but the big section of American students thought it was hilarious. Not to mention the raptors- the raptors were great!
* Seeing Les Miserables! It was fantastic, definitely a lot to take in.
* Started the Song of Songs series again. So good!
* Whitney pointed out that the Metro, the first train we take on the way to school, makes light saber noises when it's approaching. I listened- it's true! Our train is awesome.

Prayer request: I'm still trying to figure out what church I'll be going to. I know that I need to trust God and just take it one step at a time, but I'm getting impatient. And as my friends and I plan trips for the rest of the semester, I really need guidance and wisdom.

If you're reading this, I probably miss you, and I most likely love you. Tell me what's going on in your life!

Reflections on a Mass

2010-02-20T16:23:00.000-08:00

I went to a Catholic mass with my roommates and house mum last Sunday. After I came back I wrote this to sort of describe what happened and how God worked in me during the service.

I fidget on the hard wooden bench,
Search the brilliantly dull glass faces
Of saints who supposedly can pray for me.
The fume of incense is intoxicating me,
And I wonder if it's rude to plug my nose
As the adolescent boy in white swings
The silver object releasing its scent.
I ask myself how they could ever think
To deify Mary, give her the place of honor
Instead of my risen Christ. Should I take
Communion, when I am so very not Catholic?
I don't want to judge, but this showy religion--
It's suffocating me, like its incense stench!
How can I eat the wafer, when they proclaim
It's the literal flesh of God's own Son,
Not a symbol of Christ's cross and covenant?
The priest says a word in monotone voice,
And I follow the others in kneeling down
On the board in front-- there's actually cushion,
Praise the Lord! I try to follow the words,
But cannot concentrate, my indignant thoughts
Bombarding my mind. Then I catch a glimpse
Over my folded hands, ahead three pews,
There, a toddler girl, in jeans and pink,
Striped shirt. Her binky plugs any sound,
But she doesn't seem to want to cry.
Her joyous blue eyes meet my bored ones,
A smile almost dislodges her pacifier.
Suddenly the odor of perfume fades,
The theological mental discourse stills,
And I see more clearly the Christ figure
Adorning the corners of the church. I grin,
The girl laughs. She ducks her dark brown head
Behind the wooden pew, daring me to guess
The place where she has hidden. Her head
Pops up above the pew, giggling muffled
By the binky. I try not to laugh aloud,
But can't help but play with the toddler.
"Let the little children come to Me," I hear
Repeating in my mind. "For to such
Is the kingdom of Heaven." Thus the joy
Of a toddler rebuked my judgment,
Reminding me of my place: to worship
And to love my King, for what's needed
Isn't my judging, but God's deep love.