Restart: to begin over, carry on, pick up, restore.

The Only Drawback to Teaching I Know Of...

2013-03-14T19:47:00.000-04:00

...is virus. I have been down with stomach virus and have just started to feel better. Tomorrow, I go back to the classroom. I actually pulled muscles trying to stay warm! Today's random photo is of the multiple disabilities classroom where I have been subbing the last two weeks. My assignment ends Monday. I am praying that I get offered a contract for the next school year soon.

On another note, I was driving the country roads, headed to a friend's home to help her decorate for her daughter's birthday, when I encountered a vehicle driving very slowly. Suddenly, the driver put on his hazard lights, and as I passed him, I recognized Ray as the driver. No doubt he recognized my car as I passed. I was sad for the rest of the day. Still am, I guess.

Lots of love (and good health),

Rita

What I am Reading Wednesday

2013-03-06T12:20:00.000-05:00

It's a snow day in Ohio and I am catching up on some reading and knitting hats for a little girl who loves pink!

If you have a moment, these are some worthy reads...

Calling someone with an intellectual disability a "retard" or "retarded" hurts more than you can imagine:

March is Women's History Month! Here are a few resources...

It is International Read Aloud Day!

Friday is International Women's Day! Right on!

I am making this today for the little girl who loves pink!

Finally, if you are interested in knitting, here is the link to my Pinterest board, Sticks and Hooks. I am really a novice, but I am working on embracing creativity, and it's cheaper than therapy! I have collected a lot of lovely pins, knowing full well I will not get around to making all of them. I just want to make lovely things!

Stay tuned! More to come!

Love,

Rita

Day 598...

2013-03-04T21:10:00.000-05:00

Good Evening!

The ice is falling here in the country and I'm about ready to put my tired bones to bed. I hauled in about thirty logs from the back of the property. Yes, we heat with wood because the oil is way too expensive. I also brought in two baskets of kindling. This after teaching in a multiple disabilities classroom all day and hitting the grocery store in preparation for the big snow that is headed our way. Wherever you are, I hope you are safe, warm, and loving your life. I hope to get to that point one day. It begins here, with the little things; blasting the stereo in the car on the way home from work, talking over the days events with my child, making a hearty meal for the two of us to share, pouring over seed catalogs in preparation for spring, and saying goodnight to my friends in the virtual world.

Today's random photo is from my past work life. We had reporters following my team around nearly every day. This photo was snapped while I watched the back of a house. It was taken about a minute before the bad guy bolted out the back door...

Love and Hugs,
Rita

Day 595

2013-03-01T22:58:00.002-05:00

Good Evening, Friends!

A short post for tonight in preparation for a longer post about Ray to come. That's a heart-breaker, so I need to sort some of my thoughts and have a good cry about it.

I am heading to bed early tonight. Getting up at 5:00 am to teach school sure takes a bite out of your social life. I went to a friends's home for some pizza and beer and was home before ten!

Today's random pic is from DC's 15th birthday. I think I have posted before about our family birthday tradition: any home cooked meal and dessert your heart desires. When the kid's were little, they requested individual dirt cakes for every classroom birthday party. Their birthdays are only two weeks apart, so I would make about 60 dirt cakes in that period every year. For his 15th birthday, DC requested a giant dirt cake. Yes, he is also wearing the traditional birthday crown! I am so lucky that DC has not reached the stage where he hates his mother. He tells me he loves me at least twice a day. Sigh...

Love to all and goodnight!

Rita

p.s.

I received a wonderful email from Michelle, who reported she was having difficulty posting comments. It has been so long since I have blogged, I'm afraid my settings might be funny. Has anyone had this problem?

A Place at the Table: One Nation Underfed

2013-02-28T19:31:00.001-05:00

Hi Friends!

I know, first hand, how devastating hunger can be. If you have the time, catch this film.

Love and Hugs,

Rita

Day 594

2013-02-28T17:35:00.000-05:00

Good Evening My Friends...

I am going to try and write a post everyday. What I need to know is what you want to hear about first. I am including a list below, but it is not exhaustive.

Ray
Em and DC
My mother (argh)
Educational endeavors
Job search
Teaching
Financial (OMG)
Smoking (another argh)
Dating
Daily living

Today I subbed in a multiple disabilities classroom at a rural elementary/middle school. I subbed for them a half day at the end of January and the teacher asked me to come back and sub while she tested her students. That morphed into two more jobs for other teachers in the building, so I will be teaching for three weeks straight! It's only $75 per day, but it will get most of my bills paid. In addition, today I stopped by a local nursery that had a sign out front and may have a filler job for the Spring/Summer. I'm sure it only pays just above minimum wage, but it is something I am good at and will enjoy. I am just trying to get to the point of having a contract for next year. I am hoping my performance (more than one school keeps asking for me) leads to this.

Today's random photo is of Amanda and my beautiful granddaughter, Layla. They crack me up!

Fire away, Dolls!

Love and Hugs,

Rita

Day 593

2013-02-27T09:18:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Friends...

It has been ages since I have spoken with you. You must know that I have thought about all of you everyday. After the worst and best financial year of my life, I am starting to get back on track. In the coming weeks I will update you about what has been happening in our lives. Lots of heartache, relapses into old patterns, and a few life changing accomplishments. To be honest, I am ashamed. We are still very broke. The unemployment has run out. I finished my M.Ed and I am substitute teaching for $75 per day. Children have moved out an moved on. In order to start with a fresh perspective, there will be changes to the blog in the coming weeks, posts will become more regular, and I may make the move to WordPress. I am going to start this again, hoping that renewing my relationships with my blog family and writing everyday will give me some perspective, and some hope.

Today's photo is one of E's graduation photos taken by Amanda. Isn't she beautiful?

Love and Hugs,

Rita

Day 31

2011-08-15T08:06:00.000-04:00

Good morning friends..

The house is quiet and I have some uninterrupted computer time...

My days are filled with packing, studying, and shuttling kids from place to place. I went to see the new house yesterday. My friend Greg is building another bedroom for us. After he is finished there will be four bedrooms, including one that has a spectacular view of the backyard for me. Greg's son just moved out last weekend so I haven't begun to paint, but I am going to pick out the colors today and Greg will take care of the costs. He's also replacing the flooring in my bedroom and it will have wood laminate, which I love. We discussed where we will put the garden and the future chicken house. So what else has been happening with us?

I applied for Ray to be enrolled in a school district where the high school and it's students are a little more progressive. I still haven't heard anything and school starts next week! This high school is actually much closer than Em and DC's high school. This means Ray's tattoos, piercings and ear gauges won't be an issue. At our high school, he would have to take everything out, he would have noodle ears and would be subject to ridicule. Our high school is pretty conformist. What are noodle ears? This is what his ears currently look like...and this would be without. Pretty awful. It would cost more than $5,000 to have his ears fixed. As much as I want to give this boy the best chance at a good life, I can't possibly undo everything that has already been done in such a short period of time.

Ray continues to go to counseling and has seen his psychiatrist again, who upped his medication.

Ray spent the weekend with a close friend and his family who were visiting family in a nearby city. They skated at skate park all weekend. His friend is a good role model and has never been in trouble.

I am currently trying to find a way to get braces for Ray. His teeth are in awful condition from years of neglect. Even the dental school costs more than $3,000!

I started receiving my unemployment checks. It is the wrong amount and I have filed an appeal. They are not counting Ray as my dependent because he was not living with me 90 days prior to filing. Hopefully we can get this straightened out soon. They have allotted me a full $200 per month less than I should be receiving. That's a lot of groceries! They are counting my master's program as a work activity, which is fabulous!

I haven't received my Cobra information from my former employer. This worries me because I was hoping to continue the vision and the dental. These premiums are reasonable, but the health care is not. The monthly premiums for the health insurance is $1300 per month. I have had email conversations with the personnel department, so I hope this gets fixed this week. Our health insurance runs out on the 31st.

I have been going out on dates! This man has been in my circle of friends for a long time. We have been out three times, much to Em and DC's chagrin. He makes a living managing his own investments and does very well. I told him that I don't invite anyone into my children's lives unless it will be a permanent situation and I was not ready for, nor was I considering that kind of relationship. He seems content with that. He appears to have an impulse to take care of me already, which worries me, but we will see what happens in the coming weeks. He is a little older than me and a little less emotionally retarded (I hope) than some of the other men I have known.

Today's random photo is from our history tour vacation. I had short hair then, for work. The kids are fabulously happy about being at the beach. The photo was taken by my ex-husband. I wish I could post some recent photos, but we don't have any. Our camera was damaged when DC took it to New York City and we haven't been able to afford another one.

We are still putting one foot in front of the other. Thank-you for sticking with me.

Hugs,

Rita

Day 24

2011-08-08T10:33:00.003-04:00

Good morning friends...

First, I need to apologize for my absence. We have had internet access issues for the last several weeks. We don't have a laptop to take advantage of free internet elsewhere. I am catching up on reading my email this morning. There are messages from several of my blog family and I intend to catch up with you.

I cleaned apartments for several days and earned a $250 credit for our August rent.
Ray had a session with the psychiatrist and he is on medicine now. I know that medicine can't solve every problem and Ray was reluctant, but Dr. V explained that heredity, his life tragedies, and his behavior have intersected to create these circumstances. Ray has shared his thinking has become clearer and his sleep schedule is improving.We have also seen his therapist twice.
I continue to fret about Ray's future. I think he vacillates between wanting a decent life and being impulsive and taking off after his birthday in January. Em overheard him talking to his father about leaving as soon as he is 18. Can I give up control? On one hand I feel like I am going to parent him if it kills him and on the other I am exhausted by the thought of it.
We have revamped our diet and are following a modified Body For Life plan. There are more fresh veggies in our refrigerator than we have room for! We have set aside every Sunday afternoon to slice up fresh veggies, make homemade salsa and chips, homemade yogurt dip, and bruschetta for snacking. Our grocery bill was a lot smaller without all of the extra snacks and convenience food.
We have been heading to the YMCA every day. We all need to be healthier, but Em has been in the dumps over body image and our routine is helping her to see herself in a more positive light. I hated being a teenage girl!
I have earned two As so far and I started my last history course of the summer. My professor is a hoot. I am really going to enjoy this class.
I am officially a "Grad Student" and my graduate program begins on September 12th.
We went to see the "potential" new house and it became the "new house". We will be moving in through August and I will be doing all of the painting and cleaning. Our final move date is 8/31! I am excited and petrified! The owners still have a contract with a real estate agency and have to keep it on the market through August. There was an open house yesterday. What will I do if it sells? I need another back-up plan. I am still keeping my options open, including retracting our notice here if it becomes necessary.
I am working on my application for substitute teaching. This pays $90 per day and will be a flexible way to earn extra money.
I still have not received an unemployment check. Every time I call them all I get is a darn recording. They say it takes up to four weeks, but they currently have me slated for a benefit amount that does not include my three children. Ugh!

Today's random photo is my kindergarten school picture. I loved kindergarten! We are gearing up for school and I am kind of looking forward to having a quiet house during the school day. I just wish the unemployment office would hurry up so we can buy some school clothes. Clothes for three teens? Eeek!

I look forward to catching up with all of my favorite blogs. I have missed all of you so much! Thanks for sticking with me.

Hugs,

Rita

Day 9

2011-07-24T21:01:00.000-04:00

Good evening friends...

My week got away from me...

What have I been doing the last few days?

I cleaned apartments Thursday and Friday and I was so exhausted I couldn't bring myself to write in the evening.
I passed two of my history classes...I know I have an "A" in one class (the one where I had a 77 on my first test) and presented my first ever PowerPoint for the other (on Quaker Mary Dyer) that was very well received.
We traveled to Cleveland to visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We split expenses with friends so it was reasonable until I found that Ray took things from the room and they charged me an extra $100. I didn't know about it until just a little while ago. I am hurt, but I know I have to be firm. He doesn't seem to think its a big deal at all.
I filed for unemployment this week and I am concerned about the weekly benefit amount they have calculated. I will write about this later after I have spoken to them.

Em received tickets to the Reds game for tomorrow night after earning a startling 4.7 GPA at the end of the school year. We will travel to Cincinnati tomorrow evening and spend the night with a friend. I am scheduled to clean apartments for at least two more days this week and hope to shave $200 off my rent on the first. I also begin my next history class on Tuesday night.

Today's random photo is of DC playing with my grandson Finn at Christmas. I just love this photo because you can see just how devoted DC is to him. The photo was taken by my daughter, Amanda, of FinnRose Photography.

I am going to go and try and relax for a little while. My brain is swirling with hurt and worry. It was quite an end to a week that could have been more positive for my first full week of unemployment.

Love to all of you...

Rita

Day 4 and the Weekly Money Check-up

2011-07-19T11:23:00.004-04:00

Good morning friends,

There are a few things you will notice about the blog. First, the cigarette timer is missing. I tried to update my countdown timer and it restarted both timers. Ugh. So I removed it. The other timer is now counting up my days of unemployment. I have been in the dumps since last Wednesday, but I am slowly pulling myself out. My job defined who I was in my community. I don't know how to act. I am grieving. I have a ton of ideas and tasks swirling around in my head and I don't know quite how to begin. What have I done so far this week?

Yesterday I filed for unemployment and I went to class.
I called to have some old, broken down furniture and other unnecessary items removed. The haulers are coming today. The company is only going to charge me $35 because I am a friend of the owner's mother.
I scheduled my criminal background check and testing at my graduate program. I have been putting this off and it has to be done by August 15th. I go in tomorrow at 10.
Today we go in to the YMCA and get signed up. I have been waiting to do this until I am unemployed because we will get a scholarship.
We are also going bed shopping for Ray today.
There is no word on the house I told you about the other day, but I am keeping my options open.
On Thursday and Friday I will work for the landlord and clean two apartments. I hope to take at least $200 off next months rent by doing this.

Ray has been attending therapy once per week and taking guitar lessons. I don't know how much it's helping...On Saturday we are headed to Cleveland for an overnight and visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We are also attending the Burning River Fest which is a two day music food, and environment fest commemorating the burning of the Cuyahoga River. My friend Sarah is coming with us and will split all of the costs. It will be our big summer fling!

On to the Weekly Money check-up courtesy of My Pretty Pennies:

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was on groceries. I can't keep up with these boys! They eat constantly!
2. Today I am thankful for my wonderful blog family and friends. There are days that I feel like a total loser and you always lift me up.
3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free thing I did last week that made me happy was going to our summer arts festival with the kids and watching a Beatles tribute band. The band was fabulous and even wore the Sergeant Pepper costumes!
4. I will consider this week a success if I manage to get through my assessment test tomorrow. I hate math!
5. My favorite cuisine to prepare is Italian. I grow lots of basil every year and we love to make pesto and bruschetta.

I have one more paper and one more test for the history classes that end this week. Next week begins another and I hope to be all caught up by then. Whew!

Today's random photo is one of my mother, Shirley (she was named after the little screen gem). She has done a lot for me over the years and though our relationship has always been a little difficult (one day I will tell you), I am grateful to have her in my life. The photo was taken by my daughter, Amanda. She has a new wedding posted on her blog today. If you have time to click through, she would love feedback.

Till tomorrow my friends...

Hugs,

Rita

Day 1

2011-07-14T10:33:00.001-04:00

The title of today's post is not quite right. My last official day at the office was yesterday but I am technically still an employee until tomorrow. Saturday we will start counting forward. How many days will I be unemployed? How many ways can I figure out how to make money and otherwise provide for our family. How many days until I go insane?

Yesterday I was presented with great opportunity and a dilemma...A couple I know from my work (he's a cop and she's a dispatcher), have had a house in the country for sale for a very long time. It is about six minutes from school (though still not in our district), has two huge bedrooms, a giant family room (where the boys could have their room), a large living room and kitchen, a mudroom and laundry room, one bathroom (I know), and sits on about two acres of the prettiest land you will ever see. It has a two car garage and a deck. They are offering it to me to rent or land contract, but it's about $140 per month more than I pay now. I think they will come down on the price a little bit. I drove by the property yesterday. This picture is older and doesn't do it justice.

The Cons: more expensive, one bathroom, heating oil, no central air.
The Pros: it is closer to the high school and my graduate school, more room for the kids, country setting, I can garden, I can have chickens, I can grow things to sell (which I have always wanted to do), the boys can play drums without anyone complaining, we can have a dog.

They are willing to do the work to turn the family room into two bedrooms. It also wouldn't be hard to add another bathroom. It has a new well, new septic, new sump pump, new roof, new siding, new windows, and it's well insulated. It's partially wooded (though you can't see) and there is a wood stove. They will also not charge me a deposit and will mow the grass. It does need some work on the inside (wallpaper) and has wood (mosaic) floors under the carpet. It doesn't look like much now, but it could be beautiful.

What do you think? It's a risk. I am also unlikely to have an opportunity like this just drop into my lap. They know I don't have a job and it doesn't matter. They want to work with me because they know I will care for the property and improve it.

I have a lot to think about over the next few days. I have a lot of planning to do. I can apply for unemployment on Saturday. The landlord here has offered me $10 per hour off my rent to help clean apartments for new tenants. That will help out, though its likely going to be gross!

Any feedback is appreciated....

Hugs,

Rita

Day 4 and The Weekly Money Check-up

2011-07-11T09:39:00.000-04:00

Good morning friends...

This week I am gathering the loose ends and saying goodbye to coworkers. On Thursday I turned in all of my equipment; badge, gun, bullet proof vest etc. There is nothing left for me to do except take a new officer to a meeting for the domestic violence and sexual assault task force I was a member of for the last seven years. For the next three days, I will be taking my homework to the office and will study every day in jeans and flip-flops. We are not allowed to wear these, but its as subversive as I can get. I have taken my last two days as vacation so I will be done on Wednesday. I guess we will have to have another count-up clock for counting my days back to employment.

Today's random photo is one of my team member, Master Sergeant Brian Algeo, with his Air Force Raven unit. This photo was taken in Kirkuk, Iraq in 2009. The Ravens provide security for weapons transports and are military police while on base. Brian just re-deployed to Kandahar, Afghanistan on Friday and will be gone for 9 months. This is his third deployment in 5 years.This war needs to be over. I hope to send goodies to Brian and his unit in the coming months. If you are interested, please let me know.

On to the weekly money check-up courtesy of My Pretty Pennies...

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was on groceries. I am looking for ways to be creative with this. We are spending a ton on groceries with three teenagers at home.

2. Today I am thankful for good friends. I was able to see many people at our arts organization, Sip in the Summer and had many great conversations. Ray wandered around and didn't meet anyone, but he enjoyed the live a acoustic music from our own Griffin House.

3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free thing I did last week that made me happy was attending the Summer Arts Festival with all three children.

4. I will consider this week a success if I manage to get through these last days of work without shedding a waterfall of tears. I look forward to the end of this and the chance to shift focus.

5. The strangest thing I have ever eaten is chocolate covered crickets. Just one. The little legs about killed me.

Love to all of you. I hope this week is all you need it to be.

Rita

Day 8

2011-07-07T15:20:00.000-04:00

Good afternoon friends…

I haven’t fallen off the face of the Earth or succumbed to madness, yet. It has been a busy week; tests and other school work, counseling appointments, training, and final goodbyes. I still have a few days left but I won’t see several of my team members due to other obligations or their own displacements. There also hasn’t been much goal work either, but I know I will get back to that after I am through with work and finally able to focus on us.

So what’s been going on?

Ray is visiting his sister in Southern Ohio from Wednesday to Saturday morning. He took $20 from DC’s wallet after DC had already lent him $10 for his trip. DC is heartbroken. I have to address this when he returns.
Ray is seeing a therapist weekly in preparation for being admitted to the group.
I received a 77 on my first history test and feel like a dunce.
I have traffic court tomorrow for a $180 ticket. Ugh
We have planned a trip to the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland for this month. Because Ray is a guitar player and DC is a drummer, it’s a perfect family day trip.
We are looking forward to the Harry Potter premiere next Friday. This is supposed to be my last day at work, but I took a vacation day so we can hit the early show and make the day into a celebration. Turn that frown upside down!

Look for updated budget information toward the end of the month. I should know exactly how much I will be receiving monthly and can realistically plan. I only have about $1100 saved and plan to pay the rent and car payment for August so I won’t have to worry about those.

Thank-you for hanging in there with me…I haven’t had much time to read my favorite blogs lately and miss hearing what’s going on with you. If you have a chance, let me know how you are and what your summer plans are. Pretty soon I will be poolside (let’s be positive!).

The random photo for today is one of Em and DC at the Columbus Zoo. Em is seven and DC is four...Boy, I wish they still were!

Love to all of you…

Rita

Day 14

2011-07-01T20:38:00.000-04:00

Today I am stressed enough to bring on an aneurysm but I am grateful. An elderly driver stopped right in the middle of the highway on our way home from having dinner. I swerved into the next lane believing in that instant that side swiping someone would be better than rear ending someone at 60 mph. I stretched my arm across DC and swerved into the fast-lane. There was no one there. You know what I am feeling now. I don't have to say it.

Here are the photos I promised you of Ray and Em. These were taken by my daughter Amanda of FinnRose Photograpy. They both have a flair for drama...

Have a great holiday weekend.

Hugs,

Rita

Day 15

2011-06-30T08:34:00.001-04:00

Good morning friends...

There is one way to waste money that no one talks about. It's worse than blowing $120 on ice cream and then eating it all in one sitting. You might get a stomach ache but at least it tastes good. No, the worst waste of money is getting a speeding ticket. Even worse, its getting two speeding tickets in 8 months. Prior to last year I had only had one ticket my entire driving life and that was in 1997. Now I have had two speeding tickets in 8 months and I want to kick myself. To say that I am a bit preoccupied is an understatement. This week I am a wreck. I am questioning everything. I know this is because all the pieces are converging at once...Ray, the end of my job, money messes and school.

So far this week...

I have had to deal with Ray's unstable father calling me every day. He had told Ray to pack his things and he was going to come get him, so I called him and confronted him about burdening Ray with his half baked ideas. Then Ray called him yesterday and is encouraging him to get a lawyer. Then his father called me four times. I spoke with him once and told him I was not co-parenting Ray with him, did not have to talk with him about anything and to call the court.
Yesterday Ray begged me to tell the court that I don't want him anymore so he can go back to his hometown. I told him it would never happen. He misses his girlfriend and his friends. He says he will not adjust.
I got a speeding ticket because I was rushing home on Monday and I had to miss class because of being in Columbus for work. I will go to court on the 8th and ask for more time to pay it. If I split it into two it should be more manageable. I think my insurance company is going to freak.
I studied. I really studied and I only got a 77 on my history test yesterday. That's a "D"! What!

On the positive side...

My pay cut was restored this pay and there is an extra $70 I wasn't expecting. I was fretting about my car registration because its a rent week and now my problem is solved! It is kind of funny to have it restored just a few days before my last day.

Photo by Pitstick Realty

I wrote a letter to the real estate agent who lists/owns this house (listed at $105,000). It has been on the market since May 2010. I proposed a non-traditional land contract/rental situation. I have no idea if it has appliances (which would be a problem)or what condition the interior is in, but it is in our school district, is in a great neighborhood, and has four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Because there are no other photographs I am thinking there is probably a lot of work to be done. Hello Home Depot! My proposal makes it less than my rent here if he takes the bite. I will let you know how this turns out...

My next post will have the photos from Ray and Em's Bloomington Trip.

Love to all,
Rita

Day 18

2011-06-28T22:59:00.000-04:00

Good evening my friends...

Well, it's actually day twelve if you don't count the weekends and holidays. I am taking the rest of the week off and plan to catch up on homework, housework, and gardening. Our leave is paid out at 50% so I am better off taking some of it now. Our agency just announced another 1135 layoffs that will be effective in December. This agency has been a way of life and a family for so many people. I consider myself blessed to have a plan in development for our family, even if it's not yet on solid ground.

So, what's happened this week so far?

Em and Ray spent the weekend with Amanda in Bloomington. Ray bought a new guitar. Em tried to get a tattoo (lol). They both had a great time.
I was able to organize and purge a bit more around the house and every stick of laundry was done. I spent about 14 hours in the car and most of my home time on the couch with my books.
I signed Ray up for guitar lessons so he can learn to read music and feel more confident about his ability. They are $15 per lesson, but his support will help pay for it and its more than worth it. We have another assessment appointment on Friday afternoon and I managed to get all of his probation and counseling records sent to me and we received them today.

I started second guessing my decision to stay in the apartment past our lease. I need to get creative with this. All of my other ideas were a little hair-brained and are not really relevant because we are a quad now. Ray really needs his own space and a place he can play his guitar (and drums). I have some more brainstorming to do and its getting closer to layoff day. I have been so focused on Ray that I have neglected everything else.

Photo courtesy of FinnRose Photography

Amanda took some great pictures of Em and Ray over the weekend. I hope to post a mini gallery before the week is up, but here is one of Em I just love! I have a test and a paper due tomorrow night. I am off to study!

Love to all of you...
Rita

Day 21

2011-06-25T11:53:00.002-04:00

Good morning friends...it's been a hell of a week.

Let's start with Ray. On Tuesday, a friend of Ray's came from his hometown to visit. It was a girl and no he wasn't allowed to share a bed with her, which frustrated him. I made them stay on separate floors but they stayed awake most of the night watching movies. The next morning, Ray wanted to take her for a picnic in the park. This I was encouraged by, because he had enjoyed our picnic and wanted to return to the same park. Well...about an hour and a half after they left I got a call from a friend of mine on our local police department. The two of them were asleep in the car in our museum's parking lot. They were fully clothed and there was no hanky panky. It turned out her mother had no idea she was here and she was supposed to be at a friends a few miles away from her house. Next, I found she wasn't even allowed to be around him because he had wrecked her parent's car. Needless to say, I was embarrassed. Of course Ray didn't think it was a big deal. He even had the nerve to ask me to take him to buy a guitar right after. Okay, so that is incident #1.

On Thursday morning we had our interview at the partial-hospital program for adolescents. He lied the whole time and stated very plainly that he did not want to change and he didn't want any help. They believe he would be detrimental to the group and went as far as to say that it might be too late and his behavior too intractable to change. They said I had a big heart but what was I thinking? I have known these people since I worked at Children's Services and they are the best in the business. Em went there after her suicide attempt last year and it did wonders for her. They said my best hope was to just lay down the law for him and not force him to be a part of family life if he didn't want to. The assessor said she was worried for my other children. So, they won't take him but they will do a full assessment and have him see the psychiatrist (which is also our family psychiatrist) to see if we can get a good diagnosis to work with. Ray says that no one has been able to figure him out. I told him he wasn't all that mysterious. That's incident #2.

Em and Ray are at my daughter Amanda's in Bloomington this weekend. Amanda needed an assistant for a wedding and Em has been her assistant in the past. Ray had not been anywhere more than an hour from his former home and it's a hip college town so I thought it would be good for him. I left them there at about 7 last night. So far they are having a good time. Cross your fingers.

On a lighter note, I bought a new car. This might seem contrary to the situation at hand, but it will be much better for us in the long run. My lawyer suggested I forfeit the other vehicles to the loan company because they are worth much less than the loan and barely run. I will reaffirm the debt in the bankruptcy and continue to make the payments. It's a 2011 KIA Soul and the payment is less than $250 per month (thanks Mom for the down payment help). The insurance is only $49 instead of $97 and it comes with free roadside assistance for five years and I can go 350 miles on one 11 gallon tank of gas. The total cost in savings per month is $221 and I won't have to pay a yearly $99 for AAA. We have a reliable car that will last us a long time.

Finally, I am taking two history classes and already feel like I am behind. There is so much reading and homework I can't even tell you! I am encouraged because this will get me tuned up for my graduate program in the fall. If I can focus enough to get my work done. What was I thinking?

I am off to get some work done around the house and focus on my school work. The house is quiet and I am so thankful. I have been on edge this week and need to relax and recharge.

Love to all of you,
Rita

Day 25: The Weekly Money Check-up

2011-06-21T08:03:00.000-04:00

Good morning friends...

I am trying to stay focused and continue to post even though my life has gotten away from me and I have no time. Today(s) random photos are from our history tour vacation last year (the only one we have ever taken). A pony at Assateague Island fell in love with Em and snuffled her the whole time we were there. As you can see, he didn't want her to leave.

So, on to the weekly money check-up courtesy of My Pretty Pennies...

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was on groceries.I made a list and a menu plan. We went to the farmers market and I went to two stores to get the best deals I could. I didn't manage to get to Aldi, but it is still on the agenda. The grocery bill is going to kill me. The boys eat constantly!

2. Today I am thankful our custody mess is finally over.

3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free thing I did last week that made me happy was being all curled up on the couch watching a TV marathon with Em while it stormed outside.

4. I will consider this week a success if I manage to get my homework done.

5. My night-stand contains a lamp, peppermint lotion, and a knitting project. The drawers contain the mementos I have of my grandmother's...several pairs of 40's era gloves, her handkerchiefs, and a small 40's era Gucci wallet. The second drawer is where I stash my sewing supplies (we have no storage!).

I am of to shower and get ready for my work day. I hope your week is all you need it to be.

Hugs,

Rita

Day 26

2011-06-20T06:55:00.000-04:00

Good morning my friends...

Just a quick note to let you know I may not get to a regular daily countdown post because today will be a busy day. I am in training and then I am off to class tonight. We had a pretty good weekend, though I still haven't been able to get Ray's sleep schedule right side up. He continues to stay up most of the night and sleeps away the day. He filled out an application for employment at a local music store this weekend and will take it in today. Em is going to give him some interview tips.

I am off to get ready for the day! Happy Monday lovelies!

Rita

Day 29

2011-06-17T22:21:00.001-04:00

Phone calls made:

Screening appointment for our youth mental health program.
Calls to probation officer, Job and Family Services, kinship program , and psychiatrist.
Failed at family therapist appointment (it was Monday, not today). This never happens!

Positive things about today:

Ray put his clothes away.
I was grown up enough to help the children buy Father's Day gifts for their dad.
We had a nice dinner and errand run.
DC has a girlfriend (OMG!). He accidentally text-ed me instead of her and had called her beautiful. What a charmer!
I finally finished my essay/goal statement for graduate school this evening. I think it helped to step back for awhile in order to give it a fresh eye/edit. I will finish the packet this weekend and get it to my department chair.
I found another source for textbook rental that proved to be even cheaper than Chegg.com. Using BookRenter saved me an additional $30 off my textbook prices and the contract is for 90 days instead of 60. My history courses start on Monday!

Weekend Plans

Produce from one vendor at our local farmer's market.

Farmers market for fresh veggies and a new experience for Ray.
Stop at Home Depot to see what deals they might have on plants.
Hit the skate park in Yellow Springs so Ray can skateboard for a few hours.
Make up the meal plan for a huge grocery shopping on Sunday.

This week I am going to check out Aldi. Kristen at the Frugal Girl has blogged about Aldi so I am going to stop in and see if I can find some bargains. I used to take clients there to shop and was disappointed with the selection. It felt as though they stocked the worst kinds of products and very little fresh food because it was in a poor neighborhood. Well, they moved the store to the major shopping area in town which might mean a better selection, but it is hard for those without transportation to get there. I will report what I find if it works out.

Thank-you for your kind words, love, and prayers. We have everything crossed here! Have a great weekend my friends.

Love to all...

Rita

Day 30

2011-06-16T19:47:00.004-04:00

Good evening friends...

There is not much to report but we seem to be okay today. This week my only goal is to get through it. To tell you the truth, this week I would love to be on an island all by myself where I can sleep in a hammock, read books and drink tropical drinks all day...or tequila...or something else really bad for me. I did speak with a friend at the juvenile court about resources and made sure the probation department had every contact they needed to get the ball rolling.

photo found at Jasmine Star Photography

I also found out Ray gave his father our address and that his father plans on sending him money. Ray says, "It better be a couple hundred at least". I asked him to let his father know should he call again, that he needs to speak with me before those kind of arrangements can be made. He doesn't understand that. He just wants the dough to spend however he wants. He is also angry with me because I refuse to buy him cigarettes. I told him it's something we are both struggling with. I said that responsible parents don't provide their children with tobacco. He said, "I'm not your kid. Not even close".

I don't expect it to be easy. I am worn out by all of the stress of this last year. Where is Oprah when you need her?

Love to you.
Rita

Day 32

2011-06-14T20:52:00.000-04:00

Good evening friends...

I have just parked my rear into a chair for the first time (beyond driving) since this morning. Everything worked out as I had hoped and we have Ray permanently. He was very sad. It think he was hoping his father would pull it out at the last minute and it wasn't so. He didn't even show up. He tries to be tough and mysterious, but he was in tears. He is going to miss his girlfriend and his friends and hinted that he might run away. I think we are okay for now.

Photograph by Mrs. Muffins

The court is transferring his probation here, so we will have some court supervision to help him stay on track. The judge would like him to complete a program and they are going to ask for it to be enforced. I just hope we can make a difference with him. I hopes he gives us a chance.

I am blubbering now so I must sign off for the night. Thank-you for your virtual hugs and your prayers. I could feel you pulling for me all the way from the Ohio-West Virginia border.

Hugs,
Rita

Day 33

2011-06-13T21:56:00.001-04:00

Good evening friends...

I am a bundle of nerves this evening! I keep mulling over what may/may not happen tomorrow. Will Ray decide he doesn't want to stay? Will his father have cleaned up his house and produced a clean drug screen? Will they give him back? I have decided if we don't get what we want then we will ask for standard visitation and I will trek to Southern Ohio every other weekend and pick that boy up.

Tonight we are washing clothing and repacking everything into bins. We have to prepare for a return to his father, so everything goes back with us in the car.

On to daily reporting (what is that, you say?)...

Today, the steps I took to improve our situation are:

I emailed a social worker I know at Job and Family Services and asked about Kinship Care assistance. There is a one-time payment of $1,000 we should be eligible for to get beds and other necessities. This benefit is available to families who take custody of a relatives children which avoids a long term foster care placement.
I checked out Chegg.com as Nony suggested. Chegg.com is a fabulous site where you can rent textbooks for a few months for a fee. It will run me about $90 for books, but that is a savings of a little more than $200 if they are purchased new.

Thomas Edison via Jeannine Gruska from the Purl St. Scarf Project.

Today's random photo is in honor of International Yarnbombing Day (June 11). Yarnbombers create a knitted or crocheted piece and place it (ninja-like) in an unexpected place as street art. A Google search for yarnbombing will produce links to thousands of beautiful pieces of art from around the world. A few of the most famous yarnbombers are Magda Sayeg of KnittaPlease, the JafaGirls, and the Micro Fiber Militia. I have produced one yarnbomb which stayed in place for three months before it fell off. I hope to have more time to devote to this during the Summer.

The Weekly Money Check-up courtesy of My Pretty Pennies

1. The most I’ve spent this last week was on groceries ($90.02). I am going to have to sit down and do a regular meal plan because our grocery bill is only going to get bigger with Ray at home. He has not had home cooked meals on a regular basis for years. So far, he has devoured everything I put in front of him!

2. Today I am thankful the custody mess is almost over. Ray can't sleep and neither can I.

3. Money can’t buy happiness. One free thing I did last week that made me happy was playing corn hole and having a picnic in the park with the kids on Saturday.I thought the kids would think it was lame, but everyone had a good time.

4. I will consider this week a success if everything goes according to plan at tomorrow's hearing.

5. One thing I appreciate about my dad is...This unfortunately has not applied to me since my father was killed in 1972. My father's birthday has fallen on Father's Day for as long as I can remember. My mother never remarried and still has a broken heart.

Good night my friends. Please send all the good karma you can muster to Southern Ohio tomorrow.

Hugs,
Rita

Day 36

2011-06-10T22:19:00.001-04:00

Good evening my friends...

Today Em got back together with her boyfriend (I know) and DC decided to stay home instead of going to his father's for my birthday weekend (Sunday). We don't have much planned but hope to go to the park tomorrow (if it doesn't rain) and do some gardening and grilling on Sunday. Em is taking the ACT in the morning. It is also World Wide Knit in Public Day and International Yarn Bombing Day. I will take my knitting to the park and relax in a chair while the kids climb on the cliffs. We will take a picnic and Ray will think it's the lamest thing in the world. Ugh!

Today Ray told me he doesn't like family activities because we don't feel like his family. He says it just makes him feel separate. I asked him to give us a chance and it doesn't have to feel that way unless he really wants it to. He said he was worried about making friends. "What am I going to do all Summer? Just hang out in your house? " This is a dilemma. It worries me and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Today he went to the store with us and to pick up Papa Murphy's but mostly he just hangs out by himself or plays video games with DC. We played Monopoly last night and he seemed to have a good time. He stays up all night and sleeps till 2:00.

Today I called the Social Security Administration to inquire about how we could prevent Ray's father from getting his Social Security benefits. We can't until I have the custody papers in hand and it will be too late for the month of June. I don't really care about it but it would be nice to be able to get Ray the things he needs right now. He has gone without for so long.

On the financial front, we are lean this week because of the expenses related to traveling back and forth to Southern Ohio. I am dealing with creditors calling every day. It becomes less and less as I give them my attorney's information. So far, they are quite courteous.

I start classes a week from Monday. I am a little angry with the college because they haven't applied my student aid funds yet. They have told me I will have to take a temporary loan to cover my books until it is applied. I don't want to do this because I don't want to buy my books at the college bookstore. It sounds like a racket doesn't it?

Boy! It's all doom and gloom this week isn't it? Pink slips, financial woes, and teenage angst. I'm worn out!

Today, I am adding a random photo. This is one of my favorite photos of DC and Em. We are playing in the Atlantic off of Assateague Island in Maryland. It was their first trip to the ocean.

Early to rise for the ACT...I'm off to bed!

Love to you,
Rita