Douleeta

Interesting ways to get clients.

2013-06-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Almost everywhere I go - I end up talking about birth. It just comes naturally to me. I usually have my 8 month old with me and people ask about her birth and then I ask about or if they have children. And it just spirals into me telling them about being a doula. It has become who I am.

The other day a guy came to my door trying to sell me some pest care for the outside of our house. I had Iris on my hip. He seemed nice. He told me his wife is 9 weeks pregnant. He showed me the ultrasound photo on his phone. He was so cute and excited about his first baby! So I gave him my business card. I told him how wonderful doulas are. I told him the advantages of having a doula. I told him how doulas are different from partners.

I didn't buy the pest service. He never called me. But he still might! Heh! A girl can hope.

I have had to put doula-ing on the back burner since I gave birth to my fourth child. But If I can find a client here or there, yay! They are always welcome!

My first three clients were all through my craft group. One was the son of a member' s partner. The other two were actual members of my craft group. My fourth was from my playgroup. I have another potential client I met last week through playgroup also.

Another thing I want to do is go leave my business cards around the town. At the Y, at coffee shops, at play places and maybe the grocery store. I have been kind of shy about it. Doulas cannot be shy! I need to advertise.

So far I advertise in my playgroup where there are LOADS of pregnant women. And on doulamatch, of course.

If you are a doula - what interesting ways have you gotten clients? Was it a positive? I'd love to read your comment.

What is support?

2013-05-09T16:17:00.001-07:00

(this is my version of something written in my toLabor training manual.)

Support is unconditional. It is listening, not talking.
Support is offering advice.
Support is offering a gentle touch.
Support is offering a hug.
Support is offering a tissue.
Support is caring.

Support is helping you discover your feelings.....not to make your feelings go away.
Support is helping you identify your options....not telling you which options not to choose.
Support is discussing steps with you....not taking steps for you.
Support is helping you discover your own strength.
Support is not leaving you vulnerable.
Support is helping you discover you can help yourself.

Support is helping you learn to choose.
Support is not making decisions for you.
Support is helping you reach your goals.
Support gives no judgements.
Support understands how you are feeling.
Support is there for you.

Whooping cough

2012-04-24T13:43:00.002-07:00

Pertussis, also known as whooping cough has made a pretty significant outbreak in my state of Washington. My own midwife has suggested I get vaccinated for it when I am in the third trimester of my current pregnancy to protect the baby. The current vaccination schedule for infants doesn't have them vaccinated for pertussis until they are two months old.

Here is a heart-breaking story of a newborn who died shortly after a healthy birth due to the disease. But there are also studies that show many vaccinated children are still getting it. More parents are still losing their children to pertussis. All of this information is completely heartbreaking to me!

I have said this before and I still mean it - you should do your own research before deciding what to do regarding any health issue. And you should always discuss things such as vaccinations with your physician. I plan on telling all of my clients about this outbreak and encourage them to talk to their doctor or midwife about it. I vaccinate my children, I believe in them. If this is now how you feel, we will just have to disagree! I intend to get the pertussis vaccine again next trimester and hopefully it will protect my baby.

Eating the afterbirth

2012-03-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

Recently this subject has been what seems like everywhere and I was curious. As a doula, I am all for becoming educated on everything that has to do with birth. My own midwife asked me on Wednesday if I was interested in placenta encapsulation.

I read articles like this one. All opinion and no actual facts. Sure a TV star ate her placenta, but what does that tell me? You can watch http://youtu.be/LGAYZyAHk-s this video of the story also. Doesn't really help find any facts, but it was entertaining.

I decided to do some research myself. You know, to see if there were any truth to what a lot of other doulas are saying about ingesting the placenta.

Here is an article of someone's experience taking her own placenta vitamins. She says she regrets it. Very interesting read.

I found this very helpful article. It basically says there have been no reliable or valid studies to prove any benefits of a human mammal eating its afterbirth.

So my conclusion is that eating the placenta may or may not be helpful. There have been no studies to prove it right or wrong. I will not be encapsulating my placenta. If I have a client that is interested in doing it, I would support her 100% and help her make this happen. I just suggest everyone do their own research before doing something such as eating the afterbirth.

Baby A.

2012-03-21T17:53:00.003-07:00

The second birth I attended as a doula did not turn out as any had planned either. (First lesson of doula-ing - birth hardly ever goes as planned!) And just at the first one, I learned SO much and am so grateful I got to be a part of this wonderful birth.

Mama was about 36 weeks gestation when her water broke! The previous week she had found out baby was breech. She had an appointment to try to turn the baby that week. So when the water broke and she went to the hospital it turned into a C-section.

Mama got to the hospital pretty early. Due to me being VERY ill-prepared and my phone not being charged I did not get there until almost 12. (Another lesson! Be prepared a month early! Just in case!)

Mama was already frustrated with waiting for her baby to be born. She couldn't have anything to eat or drink. Then her Section was pushed back due to someone needing one more then she did. Besides me she had two aunts to support her. So we all sat around telling stories and laughing. Mama started having some pretty painful contractions and I wished their was more I could do. She was stuck in bed with the monitors for her and baby. Poor mama. I tried to be comforting.

So we waited and waited. And almost an hour after they said they would take her back for surgery they FINALLY came and got her. Her aunt accompanied her to the surgery. Her other aunt and I waited in the waiting room. It seemed like forever to us! I was actually surprised at how long this surgery seemed to take. Most of the C-section birth stories I have heard or read seemed to happen so fast.

A few minutes after she was taken to recovery we were allowed to join her. Baby was perfect! 6lbs 11oz and 18 inches long. At one point I got to hold her and she was so sweet and precious!

Baby T.

2012-03-05T21:57:00.001-08:00

So my first client birth didn't go as anyone had planned. It was still amazing and I am so thankful I got to be a part of bringing baby girl T into the world. As my first birth as a doula, I learned SO MUCH. I guess that is what the 6 pre-certification births are for.

I had only met with Mama one time before labor/birth. She was the girlfriend of the son of a crafty friend of mine. That's right, I am friends with the Grandma. I met Mama when she was about 38 weeks and she was pretty miserable dealing with being pregnant with her first baby and a case of PUPPs. I should mention Mama is a small statured lady, an inch shorter then me! And I am 4'11''.

So a few days after baby T's due date Mama was finally in labor. I was not as prepared as I wanted to be! Mama was already at the hospital and had an epidural before I got to the hospital. Mama was at a different hospital then I thought she was delivering at. Had to drive to downtown Seattle (about 30 minutes from my home.) But I was excited and ready to help in any way I could!

When I knocked on Mama's room and I said I was the doula her nurse said, "She doesn't need a doula, she has an epidural." I was a little shocked. (This was a learning moment for me. I will probably be treated like this in the future also.) So I said as politely as I could that every mama needs a doula. It turned out that this hospital would only let 3 visitors in the room while a mama was laboring. Family were all chosen over me. (Which is understandable.) So I spent most of my time checking on mama and then waiting in the waiting room.

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed but not put out! I used my kid-free hospital waiting room time to study my doula textbook. And I got to visit my friend (grandma-to-be) whenever she came in the waiting room. And I got to listen to all the other excited families who were also waiting on babies to be born.

So the details on Mama's labor: She was only dilated to a 4 when she arrived at the hospital but was not dealing with the pain at all and so got the epidural to relieve that. After a while they gave her pitocin to hopefully help her dilate. Unfortunately she only ever got at a 6. Baby T's head was at an angle not preferable to an easy birth. Mama's cervix had started to swell instead of dilate.

This is when the doctors decided it was time for a C-section. They came in and talked to Mama about it. Then brought the surgeon in and talked about it some more. Mama just wanted labor over. (As would I!) So they decided on a C-section. I tried to be as comforting and supportive as I could. I knew this decision did not come lightly. I hope Mama knew we(her family and I) all supported her and her decisions.

Some time after 6 Mama was taken to the OR. Baby T was born at 7pm on February 7th, 2012. She was 6lbs 6.9 oz. 19 inches. Just a cute little bundle of baby girl!

Gosling Meme

2012-02-02T10:49:00.001-08:00

Tolabor birth doula training workshop

2012-01-23T22:13:00.000-08:00

I spent all this past weekend at an amazing doula workshop. I met some amazing women. I was truly inspired by my instructor. I learned so much. I have had three children myself, I didn't realize there was so much more to learn. And I know I will continue to learn.

I wish I could really articulate the way I felt after the workshop last night. All I can say is, it was magical.

Its started Friday afternoon and thanks to the evil battery in my phone I was an hour late to start. They had not even finished introductions when I walked in, but I was completely stressed out. NOT how I wanted to start out the weekend. But it was okay. I learned to calm instantly. The group of women in the group welcomed me with open arms and were so kind.

Saturday I got to watch more births then I can count (On DVD.) I learned how to do palpation. It was completely awesome feeling the shape of the baby inside another woman's body. I was amazed when I finally felt the perfectly round head of a 38 week fetus through it's mama's belly.

On Sunday we talked a lot about VBACs and interventions and it was just a really intense day.

The one thing I REALLY need to work on is learning to shut up and listen. I like to socialize and often I interrupt people (I don't do it on purpose but I have been told so many times that I do it, I must.) As a doula I need to be invisible at birth and I need to be there to listen. And I intend to.

It was a whirlwind weekend and I missed my babes so. I still have not had a good nights sleep since Wednesday night. I hope to remedy that tonight. I love you and everyone everywhere. xooxoxox

"She's going to see my vag!"

2012-01-12T17:50:00.000-08:00

My very first (squee!) client happens to be a member of my book club. So we are friends. Last night was our monthly meeting. We were standing in the kitchen of this month's host and I mentioned to someone that I am her doula. So she giggles and says, "Yeah, she's going to see my vag!" And we all had a laugh about that.

Later I took her aside and told her that I absolutely WILL not look at her genitals if that makes her feel uncomfortable. We laughed and talked about how at most hospitals births everyone and their mama sees your genitals during birth. She said she honestly doesn't care one way or the other.

But I wanted the world to know how serious I was about that little part of birth. It is NOT my job to catch the baby or perform any kind procedure. I have no business down there. When everyone else is staring at your vulva watching the miracle of birth, I will be holding your hand looking you in the eyes and supporting YOU.

Although I HEART little babies and birth, it will be my job to be there for what YOU need. There will be PLENTY of doctors and nurses for the baby. My only goal is to help you in any way that I can.

Seeing new babies, minutes after birth will be just a really really awesome perk of this job.

Happy 2012

2012-01-04T10:03:00.000-08:00

It is a new year! I hope it will be a great one! This month I will attend the ToLabor birth doula training workshop I have been waiting for! I am so excited. I look forward to hard work, learning and most of all BABIES!

The first challenge is going to be finding 6 pre-certification births to attend. It is a kind of a catch-22. I need to attend 6 births to become certified, but most people want you to be already certified before becoming their doula. I mean, your child's birth is one of the most significant events that will happen in one's life. It is wise to be choosy. But I need 6 births so I can be a certified doula and support women through this most important time in their life! *sigh*

So far I have one client, due in the first week of June. So that is definitely a start. I have been spending my free time sending emails to midwives, doulas and birth centers trying to get the word out that I am a doula-in-training and am offering my services for free until certification.

So that is my journey so far. Just the thought of helping other women makes me happy and fulfilled. I look forward to this year!

Documentaries that have inspired me

2011-12-06T09:22:00.001-08:00

Some of the things that first inspired me were documentaries. I love them. I love docs that make me want to be a better person and change the world. But many have inspired me to become a doula.

One of my favorites was Babies. It follows the first year of 4 different babies from all over the world. It is fun to see how different cultures treat babies/birth. And I just loved that there wasn't much speaking, and the film still said so much.

Of course the most inspiring movie I think I have ever seen was The business of being born. The executive director was Ricki Lake and the directer was Abby Epstein. It was so eye opening and touching. I was so excited when they did "More business of being born" also! I have yet to watch the 4 episodes but I plan to do so soon.

One of the first documentaries I ever watched was the miracle of life. I ended up re-watching it with all three of my pregnancies. It was fun to imagine what was happening inside of my body. I felt closer to my babies that way.

Another film I love is National Geographic's the science of babies. The whole idea of referring to a infant as "the human baby" is great. It makes you think about how we are just animals, after all.

And of course I am inspired by all of the many birthing shows on television. Such as a baby story, maternity ward, and I didn't know I was pregnant.

Clearly I was addicted to birth without even realizing it. :)

On Epidurals

2011-12-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine told me, "I do not need a Doula, I am getting an epidural." And while I understand why she would say that, I disagree. Although a mother who experiences a natural birth might seem to need more support, ALL laboring moms need support. As a Doula-in-training, I am learning so much about labor. I would love to support any woman, regardless of how she chooses to deal with the pain. Even a scheduled cesarean section birth mom needs support.

I am all for epidurals. I had one with all three of my children. My only regret is the side effects that happened afterward, that I did no research to educate myself about. My last birth was the worst. I experienced the worst tension headaches for a month after my epidural. Even when my baby was resting peacefully, I could not. The back of my head and neck hurt so much. I had no idea it could even happen, but it can.

My other experience with epidurals, it took me what seemed like FOREVER to walk again. At one point the nurse had to carry me to the toilet because she was insisting I empty my bladder, but I could not feel my legs enough to walk. That was definitely one of the most humiliating moments of my life, one I would not wish for anyone ever.

The decisions you make during your birth are so very personal. It is not my place, nor anyone else's to judge you based on those decisions. A doula's place is to support and encourage. And someday I truly hope to be a full fledged supportive Doula.

My reason

2011-11-21T17:59:00.001-08:00

I have thought about becoming a Doula since before my second child was born. When we started trying to conceive, I read every birth book I could get my little hands on. It that I realized how little CHOICE and information I had been given during my first pregnancy and birth. I was only 18 and I basically just went along with whatever my doctor told me. I read a few birth books but I trusted my OB/GYN knew what she was doing. When I went into labor at 38 weeks 6 days, I waited until my contractions were 5 minutes apart and went to the hospital. They admitted me, started and IV and Pitocin without really asking me. After a while I was given an epidural. My water was broken for me. When it came time to push I was given an episiotomy and not even told about it. That is the part that infuriates me the most, I was not given a choice.

It wasn't until I was 21 and I become more informed about birth that I became angry about my first one. I was determined to have a more natural birth the second time around. But then I was married. I was not the only one who had an opinion about the birth of our child. My husband was uncomfortable with the idea of me delivering our baby outside of a hospital. So in the end I delivered my second and third children at hospitals. And I still felt out-of-control. I felt that my husband would never understand because he is a man.

And this is why I have a passion to become a doula. I feel that had I had an advocate that was there JUST for me, I would have been A LOT happier with how my births went. I want to be there to support other women in any way they need me. I intend to help my clients become educated about birth so they can make informed decisions It will not be my job to convince or change a woman's mind about her birth, it will be my pleasure to ensure she gets a birth experience that will bring on feelings of happiness rather then anger.

World Prematurity Awareness Day

2011-11-17T11:13:00.001-08:00

November 17th (today) is World Prematurity Awareness Day. Currently 1 in 8 babies in the U.S. are born premature. Worldwide about 13 million are born too soon each year 13 million families go through.

To help support and honor this cause you can donate to March of Dimes.

Babies should be born at least 39 weeks gestation because before that they may have complications and many health problems. Babe's organs need to mature in order to work properly once outside of the womb. Many premature babies have trouble feeding. Their tiny mouths are too small for mom's breast. Or they cannot suck and have to have a feeding tube inserted. My nephew who was born at 37 weeks could not properly digest regular formula or breast milk, he had to be on a special expensive formula for babes like him.

Today I am sending my love to all the premie parents around the world. Every baby is a miracle, even more so are the tiny babes that must fight so hard to survive an early birth.

To become a Doula

2011-11-15T15:27:00.001-08:00

A few days ago, I signed up to train with ToLabor (formally called ALACE) in January. There are many organizations and training programs out there to choose from. I chose ToLabor because I heard about a workshop near me happening soon.

Eventually I would also like to be DONA certified. I want to become a doula and someday, a midwife. I feel like this is my calling in life. I adore pregnancy and childbirth.

I don't know where to start, so I am starting here. I will blog my journey.