Madmazelle

The moment.

2012-02-01T01:31:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i don't understand myself at all, i'm not sure what i was thinking or about to think.
Do the words that came out from my mouth speak what was in my brain? I'm not sure.

These few days ive been watching movies. It's been awhile since i watch any real movies. I was seeking for something which i will never know, and movie therapy is the only way. As i was watching my third movie, Amelie it left me in a depressive feeling in the end. It was a happy ending but the last 10mins of the film just made me stuck in a melancholic state.

I guess my current state of mind pretty much related to this character. Do i rather imagine myself with someone that is absent rather than building a real relationship with people around me? Or my heart will be dry and brittle like Raymond's bone...

I just wish the moment will last a little bit longer. Just a little bit.

I'm such a coward.

Unconditional.

2012-01-30T00:43:00.002+08:00

How should i start this. Well happy chinese new year fellows! I guess my celebration this year is pretty good regardless how many of us put on a really good poker faces (partially) to greet the relatives. Nobody is perfect even in the families. Don't get me wrong, i love hanging out with my relatives some of them i wish they stay nearer or closer as for some, let's just keep to the tradition: see you at the reunion dinner.

Since is CNY, let's talk about togetherness and family. For me, family is the only people that can give unconditional love and care for each other. No matter how stubborn or good, neurotic or dumb, defect or perfectly normal, your family will accept you as who you are. I know this because i've been through a lot with my family.

For me, my mom is the unsung hero in my family. If is not for her efforts, i dont think my family can make it this far. Thank you Mom! I guess perhaps she learned the importance of family values when she was very young. Growing up in a big family at a small 'kampung baru' (town), they were not well-off but definitely rich and full of love from the inside. My grandfather and grandmother really taught them well, even until today i can still see the great bonding among the siblings. I love all my aunties and uncles. I really do wish them well, but sadly life doest work that way.

Yes, some unfortunate events might occurred every now and then. Each time they worked their way and helped each other out like a true family. I salute the siblings, i really do respect all my aunts and uncles. Yet, shit happens. All i can do now is observe, like they says :"you're just a kid, don't interfere in adult's stuff." The thing is i am 24 this year, I feel pretty useless cause i can't help much in these kind of matters.

Everyone is struggling, yet everyone celebrated CNY happily. Well is not as lively as before (ever since my grandpa passed away) but i'm glad that the spirit is still there. These few days are pretty tough for everyone, i know. I'm just hope that with this unconditional sacrifice, the bond among the family will win again. I do, i really do hope so.

So this CNY, i am content. No i should be very happy to surround by all this awesome people. I'm very happy indeed. Appreciate what you have and spend more time with your family this CNY.

P.S Aunty (Jiu Mu) please be strong and fight all those cancer cells away!

Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone!
May this year be an auspicious year for everyone.

Moonrise Kingdom by Wes Anderson.

2012-01-16T00:39:00.004+08:00

How excited i am to finally watch this trailer, never thought that the main characters are two kids(from imdb).

Enjoy this amazing new-coming-soon film by Wes Anderson:

Kitty at the end!

New Year Eve anyone?

2011-12-31T15:09:00.002+08:00

Here we are again, the last day of a year, this time around is 2011's last day.

Had a great awesome year? I hope you do, whoever is reading this.

Well, for me this year definitely full of dramas, surprises and adventures.

I am truly happy and thankful for the year 2011. Another learning year that taught me the way of life, the real life where there always ups and downs, high or low. There will always be struggles but everything is worth it in the end. Trust me.

So the notorious 2012 is coming, as a tradition i shall write down my New Year Resolution aka the-forever-list but this time around, a little bit different:

1. Be happy.

2. To love and be loved.

3. Have a successful career.

4. Live curious (nat geo!), continue learning.

5. Explore the wonderful world.

6. Be healthy.

A very humble list. :)

Something to think about:

Conclusion for 2011:

I learned that i need to keep believe in myself. This is cliche but one day, yes the one day, and yea one day i will make it. When that day comes, i hope i will be able to share the joy with all my dearest.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have an awesome kick-ass year ahead! Cheers.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T11:43:00.003+08:00

Hello folks, merry christmas!

Made this video for my company, kind of like a two days thing. Just want to do something simple and witty. Argh, hvn't get any xmas presents for my cousin yet. Kind of like last min thing where we decided to have gift exchange party. Anyway enjoy the video and have a jolly merry christmas!

Santa is such a stalker. :)

Kimbra

2011-12-18T23:35:00.001+08:00

This girl is amazing.

I could have her hair but i decided to chop it off on that day.

Watched her live performance, she is that good!

My latest music crush.

Cameo Lover just brighten my day.

Please please come to Malaysia or Singapore, i would love to see you perform!

Not a good month.

2011-12-18T22:45:00.001+08:00

A demon growing inside, waiting to break loose.
Be resilient and shut down everything.

Let it go, girl. Just let it go.
What the heck, just let me hate all these for a little while longer.

Radio, i just heard about this domestic violence ad on the radio. I had an urge, but it was silly i guess.
Everything is fucking silly.

I want to believe the good in people. I do.
Yet i dislike the kindness.

Hypocrite.
Liar.
Assholes.

Hello Bali (4D3N) !

2011-12-09T22:55:00.001+08:00

Day 3

Another scorching day but who cares about sunburn when you're on vacation... That day we went to see the famous Tanah Lot and few lakes.

In the evening, we went back to the Kuta beach to watch the beautiful sunset scene... It was my first time to see so many people actually sitting by the beach side to wait for sunset... Everyone was really anticipating the moment the sun say goodbye and welcome the night.

Good Bye Bali!

Oh i love this ship-like-kite... Very nice!

Sailing in the sky with the wind, awesome.

Fall.

2011-12-06T15:49:00.001+08:00

Do you ever think the action you did will be forgiven that easily?
Had you lost your mind when you decided to do what you did to her?
Do you feel any remorse or even a slightest regret of your own words and actions?

I asked, you said no.
It kills me.

Seems like pretty easy for you to just break apart from us.
Do you ever really care about me? I don't think so.
I can't feel it.

Why are you speaking to me now with such kind tone?
You should have known i was really disappointed at you, how can you talk with me in such a normal conversation?
Are you feeling lonely now that everyone you close to are drifting away from you?
Have you ever think that why people avoid your presence?

Please stop.
When this kind of shit happens, you have to pick side. Our, you or her.
I picked us but you don't, so i am with her now.

Stop talking to me with such kind tone. I can't take it.
Just ignore my existence like how you isolated yourself from all of us.
Your zero effort to want us to work things out, i can't see you anymore.

When you hurt her, you hurt me too.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess this is the best i can do.

Bye.

Brainfart.

2011-11-22T21:21:00.001+08:00

Aahh, 3 weeks to draw a xxx?
I sucked. I forgot the fundamentals of design. . . i just can't get it right.

Wonder do i really have this.
Please brain please stop farting and give me ideas!

Hello Bali (4D3N) !

2011-11-22T20:20:00.001+08:00

Day Two

Woke up early in the morning, like around 630am... Long trip ahead, like really long trip.
My favourite location at Bali - Kintamani. A very beautiful place with volcano, mountain, lake, cooling air... everything just perfect for this getaway.

After a long hours car ride, ass pain but totally worth it!

Volacano and a lake.

Myra & me. Tired but happy face.

A boat man approached us, and asked us if we want to ride 'sampan' (boat) to see a tomb. He asked for a high price, after haggling for 10mins finally we settled at around 200,000 rupiah each. Took a another 20mins ride to the nearby village to dock the boat.

A very chill-relax village:

Kids there love KPOP. I heard some girls singing "Nobody nobody but you" and the signature dance.

Cute.

My servants..muahaha.

Happy!

A tiny place by the lake, after around 40mins of roll roll roll your boat, finally reach the place. Theres a tribe of villagers that "bury" their deceased member at the site, letting the body to decompose without really bury the body underground. Once the body is fully decompose, the bone and skull are collected and display by the site on a stone. When we reached there we can't smell any foul aroma as most of the decompose thing give out a strong smell. The tour guide said because of the big tree, it gives out a very aromatic scent and absorb the bad odour. Amazing!

Welcome to . . .

Dragon tail with offering.

The tree behind is the legendary tree!

Beside us is the guardian that guard the place.

I got a chance to play the traditional instrument of Bali! Love the tone of the sound that came out from the instrument. Rain started to fall after that, so we quickly sail back to the dock and had a very delicious lunch cooked by the local aunty.

The served a very delicious fish, the local call it "Ikan Mujairab"

The fish freshly steamed and covered with sambal! spicy but tasty!

Till next time! Monkey yo!

* Photo all from Keat's camera :)

Hello Bali (4D3N) !

2011-11-19T14:22:00.001+08:00

Early November i went to Bali with just two friends. Both i knew them since uni time and my ex-housemates, one girl & one boy. This was kind of like "okay-just-lets-go-and-have-fun" trip, we booked the flight ticket at very last minute and cost us around RM500+ each, which was pretty expensive in my opinion. (hey you can get like RM600(flight ticket) for Korea) Anyway we just went with the flow and yeap, BALI here we go.

DAY ONE

My friend, Keat went there earlier (3 days earlier) than me and Myra as our flight were different. For the first two days, we din't got to book any of the accommodation so what the heck right, none of us were worried because Bali have ample of places to stay, just walk-in is fine. Keat managed to find a homestay at Ubut area and it was pretty comfortable and homely. Haha.

First day, we explored around Ubut with our tour guide, which Keat hired. Oh man, i forgot his name but he is a very cool guy. Let's call him cool guy for now. Cool guy brought us to have a balinese style meal cause i am eager to taste the local food!

Balinese style lunch set, pork sate with some pork intestines and fried pork fat and veggie at the side.

Love love love the soup which made of banana stem? Tasteful and authentic.

I miss this soup.

After local delicacies, went to Monkey Forest. Yes is full of monkey, bananas and tourists from all over the world. It was drizzle for the whole afternoon but it was fun. When was the last time i walked under the rain like a boss? haha definitely not in KL.

Hey look is the sun!

And when walking back out, a tiny golden creature flew by in front of me. Curious as a cat, i jumped and follow the golden hue trail. Oh my, it was a ladybug-like bug with transparent body with gold and bronze pattern. Amazing!

Can you spot the bug? Anybody know what species is this?

Sry i don't have state-of-art camera.

x-large photo are from my friend, Keat's camera.
Now you can see the bug clearly :)

After Monkey Forest, we went to visit few temples and places. Went in one of the temple to visit and bumped into some ceremony, a kind uncle explained to us the meaning and story of each pagoda but with some incentive of course.

Most of their offerings are made of rice or decompose things, which is good for the environment.

Got back to our homestay around evening. Walk in a tiny street with lovely words and painting written on the road. A small Bali inspired front door greeted us, our homestay place:

Rested and night went out to hunt for the famous 'babi-guling' and the shop was closed, ate at 'warong' instead. After that walked around Ubut area and yeap drizzled night. I am fairly impressed with the design of most of the cafes in Bali, all very unique and fun to look at.

Drank fruit juice at a juice bar, oh and we had beer earlier, beer was cheap:

Myra with monkey king.

First day in Bali : mixed feeling, surreal (getting use to holiday mood) + excitement.

@Bali

Tik Tok.

2011-11-16T21:28:00.001+08:00

How can i describe this pain i felt, once every few months for the past few years.
Agonizing, excruciating pain at my left abdomen. Waves by waves.

Maybe i really should consider to get treatment as is reoccurring.
(Looking for symptoms at google is not reassuring at all.)
My mom said i should go for a scan but need to settle the insurance first.

My aunt just got back from chemotherapy today, she don't look so good.

"The doctor inject poison to our body... Imagine this, injecting poison to kill our perfectly healthy cells and we need to pay for it."

Funny. Money is greater than health.

I am afraid.

Happy Halloween.

2011-10-30T23:37:00.001+08:00

Unleash the zombie! Just me and my brain juice. Yum.

Be careful.

2011-10-30T23:32:00.001+08:00

Becareful what you wish for cause it might just bite you back in the arse.

I asked for mad, and yes i turned mad.

I had a meltdown at the office last Friday and it was definitely not a good feeling at all. I've never ever show this side of me in public. Definitely felt really vulnerable and down right humiliating, for me.

Am i holding too much inside or i'm just being weak... can i blame the PMS?

I think i have to learn to respect my own body and pray my body won't do this shitty thing to me again.

"You couldn't climb and you were too brave to sink."

A short hiatus is coming soon, really soon. I'm not sure if my holiday mood is on. A lot of things happened lately and i can't do anything to stop any of those from invading deeper.

Be strong, just be strong. Everything will be back to normal.

I need to be mad.

2011-10-28T00:18:00.001+08:00

I want to be mad, i volunteer to be mad... make me a mad man!
Madly insane, madly passionate, madly in love, madly inspire.

Mad enough to think that i could save the world, mad enough to go against the waves, mad enough to be me.

So, make me a mad man. We all need to be mad in this mad mad world.

What an ass.

2011-10-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i not sure if the universe can hear me or not... but i am pretty sure he/she hear me alright.
Whenever i said i want to do something, misfortune/unforeseen circumstances will fall and ruin my desires. What a coincidence...everytime!

YES. I am frustrated cause i can never seem to make my movie days happen but i shall not be defeated. Bring it on... Mr. Universe.

By the way my movies line up for the month:

1/ The Shawshank Redemption
2/ One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
3/ The Elephant Man
4/ City of God

When can i lay my eyes on these films?

Life is an ass sometimes but a nice, bumpy, succulent ass.. but as for people, certain people:

Ohh, what an ass.
What a pain in the ass.
Watching you stroke the golden blonde,
scratching the valley between your toes.
You think you have it all and know it well,
but can you see your ass as clear from my sights?

Ohh, what an ass.
What a pain in the ass.

The Trail.

2011-10-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

when is the last time you look up to the sky?

Beautiful night.

2011-10-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

The moon is so divine tonight. I am so reluctant to sleep right now, dont want this beautiful night to end...

A melancholic dream.

Peace of Mind.

2011-10-09T14:52:00.000+08:00

How i miss One Piece manga!! Love the story and the values that One Piece resonate to me but the fighting part is really messy and confusing @@ so many different individuals with awesome super power. The author is really good that he can think of all the wicked and amazing new ideas for different places and characters! My mind is exploding!

The best manga for the century.

Random: Had a sushi break at work someday ago.

A good kick to end the day.

Recipe - Bacon wrapped Pork Something.

2011-10-09T14:41:00.001+08:00

Last Sunday, i've decided to cook something to lighten up the gloominess of Sunday & feed my stomach.

After inspecting the fridge for ingredients, this was what i can came out with -Bacon wrapped Pork Something. Part of the recipes i've found it online. Thank god for internet and the rest just add in your own imagination:

The base sauce, something sweet to glaze on the pork.

Mix in generous amount of honey, a touch of apple cider, one tsp of mustard,
one onions, rosemary, one clove of garlic, two tsp sugar and one tsp salt.

Season the pork with Salt and Pepper and i add in

paprika to spice up the meat.

Wrap the meat with bacon and secure it with a toothpick.

Add olive oil and butter at a pan and pan fry both side.

Around 10mins each side.

Then put in your meat in a foil and glaze all your meat with the

earlier honey mix, just pour all in :D

Bake your meat at 350 degree for around 15-20min.

Voila, meat with cameralized honey mix glaze.

The sweetness of the sauce collide with the salty savoury taste of bacon and the meat.

Heavenly!

Note: The pork meat i should use something less fatty and tender or tenderloin. Well thats all i can get from the fridge at that moment. Delicious anyway :D

A very comfortable pose.

2011-10-09T14:15:00.002+08:00

I saw this image (extract from part of the Spiderman's comic) and how the people posting up their own rendition of the pose. It cracked me out so much. :D

So, i thought i must do this too (of course i dragged my sis and cousin along):

Note: I almost 'ao chai' (fall flat) while doing this pose.

#01 VOTD.

2011-10-04T23:22:00.001+08:00

Scintillation by Xavier Chassaing.

SCINTILLATION from Xavier Chassaing on Vimeo.

A very intriguing film i must say...All the colors and splashes of lights, emitting out from different objects. Something different from most of the projection mapping videos i had seen.

Bravo.

Just that moment.

2011-10-01T01:57:00.000+08:00

I'm always fascinated by movies/pictures, film. When i discovered that, movies were created with million of moving frames/still frames, i fell in love with every single frames of it.

The idea of movie is to capture the moment that could have a significant impact in the 'life' of the movie/story. Be it tiny thing like taking out the trash or having some intimate time. Imagine daily things that we went through in real life, it might not seem much but in movie, the director able to capture and preserve or select the ideal scenes and make it seems like it is the moment. I'm not sure if i really understand this but somehow i think i know. Every scenes in the movie is the moment that we all been through or hoping to encounter in real life. (note: not apply to zombie, apocalypse, thriller, horror related movies)

Ahh, i miss watching films.

Freezing the moment:

Here we go again.

2011-09-26T22:32:00.000+08:00

When can i break away from the norm and finally say "Fuck this shit, i am going my way."

When will i discover my true passion and put my life at stake to grab it tight?

When can i be true and accept others' good or bad...

Wandering, pondering, at the same place. Desiring, hoping for a new change. A change that is so powerful, my mind will explode in the wonderland.

Ding Ding Dong.