Just Beth

Out With the Old. In With the New.

2015-02-06T15:26:00.002-05:00

Hello Dear Readers!

I have fun news. I'm moving the Just Beth site! No panic attacks...all the posts will follow me over to the all-new Just Beth blog.

Because I'm sure that would keep you up tonight.

Those of you who have been conveniently receiving posts to your email will keep on doing so! If, by chance, you once upon a time entered your email but never verified, you might start getting the posts to your inbox.

Here's why:

My new site has a subscription service that allowed me to import subscribers from this site. However, it didn't recognize that some subscribers had never verified by clicking the little link that came to your email yonder days ago.

So, I'm totally not trying force email friends! If you don't want to hear from me via email, please oh please click the unsubscribe button when you get a fresh new post on Monday morning. I'll still love you. I promise!

I look forward to seeing you over at the new Just Beth site! Onward and upward....

Supporting Foster Families: Helping the Newbie

2015-01-25T22:17:00.000-05:00

It was only a year ago that Nate and I started the process for becoming foster parents. Less than three months later we received our first placement. And much like welcoming a new baby for the first time, becoming foster parents rocked our world.

Our "normal" lives suddenly involved so many new dynamics I felt like I was in a constant state of being off balance. Court dates. Social workers. Home visits. Interactions with birth parents. ISPs. Multiple government buildings. It was overwhelming to say the least. Not to mention there was a tiny new life we were responsible for. Our family of four became a family of five in the blink of an eye. I had about 36 weeks to prepare for my first two babies. We got a 36 hour notice for The New Chick.

If not for dozens of friends and supportive family, I'm not sure we would have navigated those early weeks unscathed. Looking back, there were some specific things others did that made the adjustment much easier.

Here are some ways to offer support to new and prospective foster parents:

1) Offer to help get their home ready. Part of the liscensing process is having a home inspection. Most states require prospective foster parents to install safety latches, fire extinguishers, stair rails, cabinet locks and all manner of safety equipment. Not to mention that most new foster families are rearranging rooms and furniture to accommodate new children. Offering to help with these projects would be a huge help. Make it a group project by involving your Bible study pals or Sunday School class. Might as well make it fun!

2) Spend time with biological children. The day we welcomed our first placement, a dear family friend came over to help care for Titus and Anna. While we were busy with the new baby, this sweet lady focused solely on the big kids. What could have been a very difficult evening for them turned out to be positive because they had the undivided attention of a beloved friend. Since then, there have been numerous times that church friends and family offered to spend time with Titus and Anna. Having that connection with trusted adults has helped eased this transition for them. Nate and I think the world of those people who are an unchanging constant for our kids in the face of this unpredictable life! Offer to take the biological kids to the park or another outing so they get some time focused on just them. It will be a blessing to them and their parents!

3) Share your used baby gear, age appropriate toys, and clothing. Ya'll. I seriously had one thing the weekend we found out we were getting The New Chick. A crib. That's IT. No car seat, no baby clothes, no bottles no NOTHING. But some amazing gal pals totally saved the day by bringing every necessity and a ton of other stuff. Another friend went and bought diapers, wipes, and baby detergent. I don't know what we would have done without them! Most foster families don't have much notice and can't possibly be prepared for every age and gender scenario. Used items and school supplied are much appreciated. Or, buy a gift card to clothing stores for older foster kids so they can get new clothes. They'll be tickled and the foster family will too!

4) Get fingerprinted so you can babysit. An ongoing need for ALL foster families is babysitters. One of the most loving things you can do is find out what is needed to be "cleared" to keep foster children and do it! There are few things that refresh Nate and I more than a few hours away together. Or even (gasp!) a night. We deeply appreciate those who have been cleared to watch our kids and offer to do so! More than that, I can sleep at night knowing that if I have to go in the hospital, someone I know and trust will be keeping the kids rather than sending them to another foster family they may or may not know.

5) Be understanding. Becoming a new foster family is overwhelming and demanding. For a while, I pulled back from church commitments and away from relationships so I could focus on taking care of a newborn and helping our bio kids adjust. It took time for us to figure out our "new normal". Be understanding of the demands placed on foster families and give them space to navigate their new lifestyle. Lower your expectations for what they can manage. If they are on nursery rotations at church, offer to fill in for them. Communicate that you're available if they need you. You'll bless them just by letting them know you're behind them!

Foster care is hard. But you can make a huge difference in how hard by the offering support!

*Fellow foster families, what other ways to support would you add to this list? How have others ministered to you?

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Rethinking Family Devotions

2015-01-23T00:04:00.001-05:00

One of my readers asked me to write a post on how the Lawrences do our family devotions. (GAH! I have READERS! This one doubles as my son's Sunday School teacher, but details, details....) I am so happy to accommodate her request since I love to pretend I'm the expert on things.

This picture is so misleading. Needing a picture of that couch for another post,
I sat them on it and said, "Do something funny." This is what I got.

When I first starting blogging, Nate suggested I put our self-made family devotion material up as free downloads. I shot the idea down like a deer in season. And laughed as I did. Mainly because our family devotions have ended on a less than stellar note more often than not. I figured what we were doing probably shouldn't be duplicated by the world at large.

Unless, of course, you want a piece of this kind of action...

4 year old breaking out into "Let It Go" in the middle of her prayer.
Fighting over who gets to pick the first worship song.
Refusing to participate.
Parents getting angry because children won't participate.
Fighting over who prays first.
Praying over each other. (Not in a spiritual way. More like trying to pray louder than the other because they're mad they didn't get to go first.)
Fighting over who gets to play the part of Jesus in any given Biblical scenario.

I'm sure God must pleased.

So why do we keep at it when clearly it's not always a picnic? We feel compelled to be our children's primary spiritual teachers. Simple as that. And we have a faint glimmer of hope that one day we might regularly leave that time together with nary a sour attitude. (If you're there already, send me stories! I need inspiration.)

Before I tell you what we do, let me debunk some myths about the FAMILY DEVOTION TIME.

1) Everyone needs to leave the time happy to consider it a success. Not true. For our family, more times than not someone leaves disgruntled. And I totally get how that can feel like failure. Especially when, as parents, we so want to come away from that time feeling like they got it. But success is not always smiles and agreeing nods and insightful questions. Success is not always happy, compliant children. Success is when your kid's Sunday School teacher tells you she told the entire Bible story to the class before the teacher could fill in the details. Success is when your son makes a connection from scripture to his actual life during everyday conversation. Success is when they remind YOU of a point from last weeks devotion. They are listening. Even if they're frowning while doing it. Success is God's word working it's way into their little hearts over months and years until it begins to affect how they think and what they do. Don't let their apparent unhappiness derail your determination to do that!

2)Family Devotion Time needs to be nightly, or at least regular to be a success. Is that the ideal? Absolutely. Is that my preference? You betcha. And if the rest of our lives would simply cooperate, I'm sure we could swing it. But the truth is we're dealing with real while aiming for ideal. Real is some nights fall apart at the seams and we're just glad to get them in bed. Real is kids get sick and we let them lay around and watch How to Train Your Dragon. Twice. Real is we do ballet on Thursdays and by the time we eat and finish homework, it's time for bed.

Our family works toward doing family devotions most school nights with the exception of Wednesdays, since we're at church. But honestly, we're doing great to get two nights in a week during this particular season. At other times we've managed 4 nights a week. The important thing is to keep striving to make it a priority and get it in there as often as you can.

3) Family Devotions should look a lot like Sunday School. You know. Children sitting quietly while teachers tell the story. Happily singing "Zacchaeus Was A Wee Little Man" as a group to reinforce the Biblical truth. A quiet, reverent prayer to put an official close on the time. Honestly, that's just not our speed. The good news is there are no official rules on what family devotions should look like. You have freedom! Not to mention that family devotions will probably look drastically different for those with 5 year olds and those with middle schoolers.

Now that you know we're the most spiritual family on the block, I'm sure you're dying to replicate what we do. Here is our general pattern:

1) We give the kids a few minutes warning to wrap up what they are doing and head to the living room. Generally, we do family devotions last thing before bedtime, but that has changed with different seasons. Pick a time when they are less likely to be tired and obstinate. (Common sense, right?)

2) Each kid picks a praise song from a kids worship site. (Cause we all know I'm not about to lead any singing.) There are some great web sites with fun kids praise music out there! The one we usually use is Worship House Kids. Youtube is a good resource too. We let the kids go nuts while singing. Dance. Jump around. The point is to help them associate worship as a whole body and heart kind of thing. We try to lead them to pick both fun, upbeat songs and reverant ones. But let's be honest, here. They're 6 and 4. Reverant rarely happens.

3) Next, we tell the Bible story. It's our pattern for Nate to usually lead on this, but don't get too legalistic here. We have found it's much easier for them to pay attention when we tell the story verses reading it. The past couple of years we have been slowly working our way through the major stories of the Bible, that way they learn the events in context of what happened before and after. We currently use The Jesus Storybook Bible as a guide, but there are lots of other good Bible story books to choose from. Mainly, just pick something age appropriate.

While Nate is telling the story, he almost always uses some kind of prop or activity to get them involved. When we were learning about Solomon building the temple, we brought out the blocks. He let the kids build a simple structure while he told the story. When he taught on Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, he let one of the kids "play dead" while the other pretended to be Jesus. (That one was a hoot. "Can I just leave her dead?") The goal is to put some sort of tangibility on these stories that might seem far removed from their everyday lives. Using multiple senses helps them solidify the concepts.

4) Nate and I pray, but give the kids the option. At first I really pushed each of the children to pray. But then I realized I was doing more harm than good with one in particular who doesn't like to be pressed into doing things. I decided it was far better for him not to pray, than to learn praying was something you do to make Mommy happy. So we don't make a big deal of it anymore. Funny thing, he now prays fairly regularly during family devotional. Leading by example is definitely the way to go in that area!

That's it ya'll. We don't use any material, although I know there is lots of good stuff out there. Mainly, we just needed a simple plan we could stick to. Nothing complicated and very little preparation required.

I hope this is an encouragement to those of you who want to start (or restart) a family devotion time, but have felt the task was daunting. Trust me when I say teaching children is NOT my spiritual gift. If I can do this, so can you. Let me know how it goes!!

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Bring On the Boring

2015-01-04T21:51:00.001-05:00

So this is where I am today. And let me say from the front end, it's not my finest hour. Because quite frankly I am little bit over all the hoopla and merry making that comes with our culture's hyped up version of Christmas.

We've done the light shows. We've made the cookies. We've seen the parades and we've hidden the candy canes all over the house 27 times.

When it comes to sprinkles, go big or go home.

Oh yes. It's been big fun what with the decorations and the never ending sweet treats and the something to do every night and day.

We've enjoyed the over the river and through the woods. Opened all the presents. Clocked 800 miles on the minivan. And watched Dora's Christmas Adventure till my ears want to scream for mercy.

But now, this mama is D.O.N.E with creating memories and merriment. Because --> "Thanks, Mom and Dad, for using all your bandwidth for one solid month to delight and bless me. I think I've had enough. You can let off now."....said no child EVER.

Hear me say, I'm not the kind of mom that believes in entertaining my children every moment they're home. I'm more of the "Go outside and play in the dirt" kind of mother. I enjoy hanging out with my kids, but I've never bought into the notion that it's my job to keep them happy by supplying a steady stream of fun.

But something happens to me during the Christmas season. Suddenly this "go play" mama has a list of 20 things I want us to do together. Add that to the school/church/community/family events that are already planned and it's a recipe for 31 solid days of kid happiness. Parties at every turn. Gifts galore. Special event this and special event that. The steady stream of entertainment has them hypnotized into believing that this is REAL LIFE.

No way man. No more.

I can tell by the way they are still looking for presents and asking what fun thing we're going to do next that it is time to detox. They've been entertained and partied and gifted and generally catered to for LONG ENOUGH. It's time for this little family of mine to be reconditioned.

Time to stop expecting presents at every family gathering.

Time to embrace just being home.

Time to find fun in sticks and outside and the everyday.

So here is my plan. We're doing meals at home. We're doing chores. We're doing school and homework and not much else for a while. And for the love, we are doing bedtime ON TIME.

Plain and simple and normal and hype-less. That's what we're going for.

But because this ain't my first rodeo, I fully expect withdrawals. I'm preparing for the moping and the complaining and the discontentedness. But I will not be moved.

They need to remember that life isn't about constant entertainment. I need to remember that it isn't my job to provide that. Nor is it in their best interest to try. We're going to re-center at home base. Hunker down and let the dust settle.

Christmas, you were delightful. But now, it's time to bring on the boring.

*What normal things are you ready to get back to?

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The Gift I Gave Jesus, And What He Gave Me in Return

2014-12-07T22:33:00.001-05:00

It's been one year today.

For three months I had been moping around, grieving the death of a dream to adopt from Haiti. Nathan had been trying in his own gentle ways to point me toward foster care and domestic adoption. But I was resistant.

I didn't think I could open my home and my heart to that kind of potential heartache. All the unknowns. All the problems. All the complications. All about me.

But as last November crept up on December, God began to knock. And when I cracked open the door, He blew right in.

Nathan had requested an information packet about foster care and adoption from the Department of Human Resources the August before. It collected dust for a few months as I clung tightly to my reasons for not filling out the application.

At one point I finally threw it away.

Forgotten and dismissed, I plunged into the Christmas season with no idea that it was going to make it's way right back into our home.

As the first week of December came and went, I began to consider what gift our family would give to Jesus for His birthday. Usually it's monetary. A lump sum to foreign missions, presents for needy families in the area, or some other endeavor that involves making His name known or giving to the least of these. We were still tossing around ideas when an application to foster/adopt through the state showed up in our mailbox. Unrequested.

One year ago today chills covered my body when I saw the manila envelope in Nathan's hands. In that same moment I heard Christ whisper, "This is what I want for Christmas." And my soul shifted.

He was asking me to say yes to foster care. Asking for the gift of my trust and this home and our future. He wanted what He always wants. My willingness to follow Him anywhere, into any unknown, with only Him as my Shepherd.

A year ago today I gave Jesus exactly what He asked for and said yes to foster care. We didn't lay our heads on the pillow that night until we had filled out the entire (lengthy!!!) application. When I finally snuggled under the covers, I experienced the sweetest peace knowing I was giving Jesus what He wanted for His birthday.

But how on earth could I have known that by offering that one gift to Him, He would give me 10,000 in return?

Because ya'll, it was me who got the gift.

I got the gift of kindred spirits while traveling this rocky road with other foster parents. I got to rejoice over their placements and intercede when their hearts broke. I got deep deep friendship.

I got the gift of water walking with Jesus. As we stepped out of the boat in every conceivable way; with our children, our finances, our future, our time, I got to hold the hand of the Master and know the satisfaction of doing what I thought humanly impossible.

I got the gift of a 5lb bundle of pure sweetness to hold and love and squeeze and rock. I got to pray over him at night, to feel his little body on my chest, and to nuzzle his tender cheek.

I got the gift of watching my biological children dote over a new sibling. Of seeing them be proud as peacocks when others adored him. Of witnessing their growth as they gave up much and took on more to make room for this new one.

I got the gift of his first smile, his first giggle, his first crawl. I got to see his uncontainable delight when I walked in the room. I got the gift of his preference.

I got the gift of showing him off to others, of hearing them make a fuss over him, of picking him up from the nursery, and taking him home with me when day is done.

I got the gift of loving him so much that I fear losing him. And the gift of knowing the love of the Father more deeply because of it.

I got the gift of his presence in our lives. I got the gift of more of His presence in my life.

But unlike the gift I gave Christ, I deserved none of it.

I didn't give to Him to get something in return. But it just goes to show that anytime we offer something to Christ, we are the ones who benefit from it.

That gift I gave Jesus a year ago, I'm so much richer for it.

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Not Into Normal: More of Me than You Might Want to See

2014-12-03T23:06:00.000-05:00

Today I decided to dig out the journal from 2013 and walk down memory lane. You know, since there's nothing else to do around here and all. What with the three kids and the two dogs and the laundry and the two dozen toys my son wants me to replace batteries in and the party I'm hosting TOMORROW NIGHT.

While enjoying the denial zone and reading through my little green leather journal, I ran across this entry from August of last year. (Yes, I write in a journal every day. Yes, I'm going to let you read it. Yes, you'll know the extent of my mental instability afterward. Like me, anyway, please.) I remember being in such a state of unrest and confusion. That feeling that God was calling me to something else...but what? For those of you who feel like you're on the verge....

"Went to the grocery store and talked with Jenna on the way home. For a brief moment I felt "this is how it should be." Run errands. Take care of things at home. Do normal stuff.

15 minutes later I'm reading Jen Hatmaker's blog about the trials of bringing home Ben and crying into my lunch plate.

I am so not into normal. I've dabbled in normal and found it terribly...not for me. It gives me the ibbie jibbies. I want to blow the doors off of normal.

Meanwhile, I vacillate between the urge to contact Jen Hatmaker and beg her to tell me something helpful (cause I'm sure she's got time for that) and telling myself to quit obsessing over whatever "this" is and unload the dishwasher. But I don't want to unload the dishwasher. I WANT _______?

Dare I say it? Something big. God sized. A little scary. Water Walking.

All that really matters to me, Jesus, is what you want me to do. Do we adopt? Domestic or international? Are you sure? I'm not. I feel selfish wanting more. And I feel like a glutton for eating both those pieces of chocolate.

HELP!?

I think we have success in the "not normal" part. Cause there ain't nothin' normal about this here foster care thing. Reading that entry reminded me how when God's got a mind to do something unusual in your life, He often gives you an appetite for it even before you know the name of the meal.

His ways continue to astound me.

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The Spoiled American Thankful List

2014-11-26T23:09:00.000-05:00

Let's end this holiday on a lighter note...

I am way yonder, seriously, VERY thankful for:

1) My bed. Ya'll. I really like my bed. O the glory of that bed! We went all out and splurged on the king sized foam top deluxe version. Worth. Every. Penny. (You were right, Nathan.) Life is hard. Beds don't have to be. Dear bed, I love you and never want to leave you. When the kids are grown, we'll spend more time together. I promise.

2) Coffee. Really, it's the only thing I like about the mornings. And quite frankly I find it difficult to be spiritual without it before 9am. If only little elves would make it and bring it to my bedside table before I wake up...

3) Cheap Entertainment. As in the Burger King two blocks away with a play place. It's loud. It stinks like kid sweat and funky socks. But hey, the children are happy and contained.

4) The DVD player in my minivan. Should we consider travel time family time? Probably. Should I be directing their little eyes to the beauty God created around us? Absolutely. Should we be memorizing scripture and playing fun travel games? Right again. Do I push play to keep those little boogers off my nerves on extended trips? Oh yes.

5) Pacifier clips. Sheer genius. Nuff said.

6) eGift Cards. Because I can remember at 11:45 pm that it's your birthday and still get a present to your inbox before the day is over. Bam. Take that procrastination.

7) Public school teachers. I considered homeschooling for 45 minutes. I still get cold chills just thinking about that terrifying day. Behavior charts. Organizational folders. Schedules. Not to mention the actual educational part. Thank you thank you thank you teachers for taking my kid 7 hours a day and preparing him to be productive member of society. You are #1 in my book.

8) Cheesecake. With coffee. In a restaurant.

9) Velcro shoes. We just taught my 6 year old how to tie actual laces. Oh the agony. Actually, my husband did most the training on that. Because apparently I'm incapable of teaching my children anything practical for actual life. Thank you, Sketchers for six sweet years of velcro light up shoes before we had to endure the hardship of laces.

10) Athletic pants. Because jeans are so restrictive, don't you think? Ah the relief of pulling on pants that don't remind me of my muffin top, big hiney, chunky thighs. Sorry world, you see me in my i don't care sweats far too often. But oh the glory of not shoving my bottom half into clothes made for Barbie.

*What would you add?

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Thankful For a Year Like This

2014-11-26T22:02:00.004-05:00

O God,

As I reflect on the past 12 months, have I ever had so much to be thankful for?

I'm thankful for water walking. You've led me out into the deep where this heart had the chance to sink. But I've known the surge that comes with finding you faithful. That place where trusting you is the only option. Have I ever known you so sure. Found you so able. Praise your Holy name, you keep me above the waves and show yourself gloriously capable. Others wonder how. I know the Who.

I'm thankful Your plans are not my plans. A year ago I was still moaning the loss of my dream to adopt from foreign places. Today I hold a baby born down the road from mine. Sweet Jesus, your plans are good. I'm grateful they can't be thwarted, even by my stubborn ways. Thank you for moving my heart to be in tune with your own.

I'm thankful you quiet me. When I'm on the floor in a heap because he might go back, you cover my form with your hand and transmit peace unthinkable. I could not have known your help if I had not known this pain. I would not have experienced your calm if I had not known this storm.

I'm thankful for children who astound me. Every time they dote on him, or love on each other, or act like our family is normal, I'm reminded that your plan is big enough to include all of us. That you have made it well with their souls, and not just mine. That you will care for them, just as you do me. Thank you for working in my children, and drawing them into your ways.

I'm thankful you do not let me walk this road alone. Thank you for church ladies who hold him in the nursery and tell me they pray for him the whole time. Thank you for family that has made our mission their own. Thank you for a husband whose heart beats and breaks just like mine.

I'm thankful for the way you exploded my spirit with your love through a butterball giggle box that drools like a leaky faucet and breaks my heart with his grin. Would I have known how badly you wanted me if I had not feared losing him? Bless you Jesus, for giving me a greater glimpse of your relentless love. Seeing you more fully is the delight of my life.

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Mom's Night Out Anyone? A giveaway.

2014-11-19T20:59:00.000-05:00

Here's the scene:

The New Chick was up multiple times in the night.

I wake up in a daze realizing I overslept.

Bleary eyed and half brained, I stumble into the kitchen to find my six year old has already fixed himself a bowl of cereal.

And spilled it all over the table and floor.

I determine he must have chosen a mixing bowl instead of a cereal bowl because on my honor there are 5 cups of cheerios and one gallon of milk dripping from the table to the tile.

Que The New Chick to start crying. Also the ~~whinny~~ insistent 4 year old wanting me to peel an orange. And the husband asking me where to find the car insurance papers.

My neurons aren't firing so I just stare at them, wishing for the coffee that isn't yet made. When the puddle of milk mush Cheerios hits my toes, something triggers and I finally start to get into gear.

Wipe the floor. Shovel food into the baby's mouth. Pour more cereal. Peel the orange.

Go get your clothes on! Brush your teeth!

Look in the drawer under the microwave.

Where is your back pack? Where are your shoes?

Why haven't you brushed your teeth yet!?

Hurry, son! You're going to be late!

While helping him with his coat I notice his hair is sticking up like chicken feathers. No time for that.

Throw out the words "I love you" while pushing him out the door. Hoping desperately he knows I really do despite the chaos of the last half hour.

Door closes.

Deep breath in. Exhale. I think he made it on time.

Put the madness behind in order to move on to the rest of the day.

Door opens. Blond chicken feathers and big blue eyes peek in.

Mom, where's my lunch?!

Stink!

In honor of Mamas who survive mornings like this, it's time for a giveaway.

Picture via www.momsnightoutmovie.com.

How about two hours of escaping from your own life and relating to someone else who doesn't have it all together?

A break from reality and permission to laugh at the hilarity that is being a homework helping, shoe finding, poop wiping, snack fixing, check kissing, keeping it together Mama.

To win, simply subscribe by email.

If you already do, share this post on Facebook and comment below that you did!

The winner will be chosen Friday, November 21 at 12:00 est.

I wish I could give every one of you an actual night out. But since I'm not Oprah, a two hour movie for one of you will have to do!

I hope you win!

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Supporting Foster Families: 7 Ways You can Pray

2014-11-17T22:31:00.003-05:00

The response to The Other Mother has been thoroughly encouraging. One of the most touching aspects has been the number of people commenting on social media that they are praying for us.

THANK YOU!

If you've ever walked a difficult road (who hasn't?) then you know what it means to hear that others have your back in this powerful way.

I believe that interceding on behalf of others is especially tender to the heart of God. When we come before His throne, selflessly pleading for Him to act on behalf of another, I just wonder at what kind of pleasure it must bring Him.

Maybe you know a family who fosters, but aren't sure how to pray. Here are 7 ways you can pray for foster families:

1) Pray that foster moms and dads trust God with the future of the children in their care. It's a daunting task to consider them not being under a trusted wing of protection. Pray they remember that God sees those children and that He cares. Deeply.

2) Pray that biological children can adjust to new siblings when they come, and say goodbye when they leave. These kids deal with emotions and situations that are hard for little hearts to handle. Pray they learn to look to God when dealing with change and heartache.

3) Pray that parents have the strength they need to meet the daily challenges of fostering. Raising children is difficult. Raising children from hard places is extra difficult. Throw in multiple trips to government buildings, extra doctor's appointments, and visitations with birth parents...It can quickly become a draining lifestyle. Pray that foster parents get the rest, support, and energy they need to accomplish the tasks before them.

4) Pray that families trust God with the potential heartbreak of foster care. There is nothing like looking at a child you love knowing they might go back. The weight of that ever-looming grief is heavy. Ask God to help moms and dads have peace, believing He will carry them through.

5) Pray that foster families make the most of the opportunity they have been given. The gospel is the most life changing thing they can give a child. Pray that families show the love of Christ and speak the love of Christ. Pray that the hearts of the children would be soft to Jesus, and that the Gospel would take root in their young lives.

6) Pray that biological children embrace a lifestyle of protecting and providing for the vulnerable. I have often worried that by deciding to foster, my two kids would become embittered. Pray that God helps families to make fostering a family mission. Pray that it would strengthen rather than weaken the faith of the biological children.

7) Pray that God would raise up more foster families. The need is great. Few things bless the hearts of foster families more than hearing of new foster families! Pray that God would call more Christ-following families to open their homes to displaced children.

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The Other Mother

2014-11-12T14:44:00.006-05:00

Since day one, many have asked about The New Chick's biological mom. And for all seven of the months he's lived in my house, I've put off writing about her. But, there is a season for everything, and a time for every purpose under heaven.

The first time I saw her it was in the Chambers County Courthouse. I looked up from admiring the five day old baby who was snug against my chest, and saw her walking toward us. I knew her by the tears pouring unchecked down her face. She humbly asked me if she could hold him, and I began to wonder at the world I had just entered.

As I unswaddled all five precious pounds and placed him in his mothers arms, I realized this entire endeavor was going to require more of my heart than I had expected. I felt all at once tremendous pain for her, and ferocious protection over him.

Those two emotions would only swell with the passing weeks. At times they were at war within my soul.

Someone commented on her right after he came to us. They posed a question, that was really more of a statement, along the lines of how could anyone do what she has done. The person went on to make her out as a total sinner, and me a total saint.

I just blinked and ashamedly said nothing. But inside was a raging inferno.

There is nothing fundamentally different about she and me. The only thing that polarizes her life from mine is that I was given a gift when I was 6.

The gift of the Holy Spirit when I got adopted by The King.

Without that gift I would have been her. I would have chased this world and let it have it's way with me. I would have made costly decisions; looking to all the wrong things to make me feel happy and all the wrong people to make me feel loved. I would have given myself to a man way too early and gotten pregnant and had a baby.

It would have been me watching the social workers walk out of the hospital with my first born son, still sore from giving birth to him.
It would have been me wondering where they took him.
And who was holding him. And what was going to happen to him.
It would have been me facing every parent's worst nightmare.

It would have been me.

But Jesus.

I won't lie. There's another side to my feelings about her. It's not jealousy. Or competition. It's more like looking at her and wondering if I will be her in a few months.

I fear the pain she's already lived through.

Handing my baby over to the social workers to be cared for by strangers. Wondering where he is and if he needs me. Missing his firsts and wanting him so desperately it hurts. Fearing that he's wants Mama, but can't have her.

I hate the notion that her success will mean my greatest loss. And just as much I loathe the idea that if she fails, I somehow win.

Because if he goes back, I'll curl up and die for a while. But if he stays, I'll grieve with the knowledge that she'll do the same. Either way, pain will be thick.

It's true that she and I are very different. I was adopted and she wasn't. She brought him into the world and I didn't. I know him in ways she doesn't.

And every time I say "Come to Mama" I am reminded that there is another.

But in this we are the same.

She and I are both the other mother.

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How to Love an Orphan

2014-11-09T22:01:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a year since this young man stuck his lanky legs under my table and ate my spaghetti.

I'm talking about the one on the right. The cutie on the left rejects pasta in every form.

But that handsome Haitian, he melted my heart when he gobbled down my cooking like it was something special. In actuality, he had my heart two years earlier when I first saw him in this picture.

My husband showed it to me after returning from a trip to Haiti early in 2012. He and Bill Howard, the director of Alex's House Orphanage, had taken a detour on the way to the airport to visit the mass grave where thousands were buried after the earthquake.

They found Renel and his brother Remy there, at the grave of their parents, begging for food.

Every day those two boys, 11 and 8, left the tarp they lived under and walked an hour down the mountain to the mass grave.

No food. No water. No watchful parental eye supervising. No future. No hope. No nothing.

Except that the eyes of the Lord were on them.

After a series of events that only He could arrange, those two children who were once hungry, now go to bed well fed. They have beds and clothes. They go to school and play soccer. They have people who love and care for them. They hear about the love of Jesus.

This Jesus who loves them so much he sent a group of men to start a Christ-centered orphanage in a dark and poor Haiti. Men who could no longer pretend those children weren't there, and who answered the call to provide.

If you've known me more than 30 minutes you know I love me some Alex's House. I love their vision. I love their love for children. I love that they want to rescue more off the streets of a harsh Haiti.

If you want the chance to be a part of what God is doing through Alex's House, here it is.

Buy a $10 ticket.

That's it, ya'll. $10. Most of us spend that much a week on our cable bill.

The $10 ticket gives you the info needed to bid on a ticket to the Alabama vs. Auburn game. But really, it's not about winning tickets to the hottest game in the Southeast.

It's about loving on this kid.

And these kids.

It's about making sure Alex's House has the funds they need to care for them, and more like them.

So here's how to love a Haitian Orphan. Click the Paypal Donate button and send in your ten bucks. Comment below with your email address and I will send you the info on how to bid on the Auburn vs. Alabama tickets.

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Spending More on What Matters

2014-11-04T00:13:00.000-05:00

I enter Walmart for the third time in 32 hours.

We need one thing: face paint to transform my son into an army man for a school function. I head to my target and throw two tubes into the cart.

Since I'm already here, I might as well grab some camo pants to pull the costume together. I blaze a trail to the clothing section.

A reminder text from a friend, "Don't forget we're having soup at church tonight." No way are my kids touching that. Better swing over to the grocery section and pick up a couple of Lunchables.

On the way to check out, I notice the new fall scented Glade plug-ins. My house has been smelling seriously funky lately. Artificial pumpkin spice would be a welcome change. Toss it in and get out before anything else finds it's way into the cart.

I went in for less than a dollar's worth of stuff. 45 minutes later I leave after spending over $2o. Anybody?! Multiply that scenario by 3 times a week and we're talking big money here.

Looking at my receipt later, I thought of the verses that keep playing like a broken record in my mind:

If you spend yourselves

in behalf of the hungry,

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your light will become like the noonday sun.

Isaiah 58:10

Considering how I spend my money, I'm investing myself on behalf of the wealthy, and satisfying the wants of the privileged. Because to the world, my family is the wealthy. We are the privileged.

And if you are reading this, you are too.

If your family makes $48,000 a year (the median in the US), you are in the top 1% of the world's population. That means you are richer than 99% of the world. Even if your income is half that, you are still in the top 2.24%.

Image via globalrichlist.com.

It's not even the fact that we're so rich that has me disturbed these days. It's that they are so poor.

29,160 human beings died of hunger TODAY. An estimated 22,000 of them were children.

I look at mine and wonder what kind of agony it would be to watch them die of starvation. I close my eyes and my my mind because my heart cannot even go there.

Already burdened with this image, what am I doing buying more junk that my family does not need? I'm not against face paint or plug ins. But when the accumulation of worthless rubbish robs my budget of the ability to help others who are starving, there might be a priorities problem.

According to worldometers, a real time world statistic website, 179 million dollars was spent on weight loss programs in the last twenty four hours.

Ya'll, when we're spending that kind of money every day to shed the weight of our excess food problem, while 22,ooo children die of hunger...

I can't even.

And here's the part that really gets me. It's never taken so little effort to make a difference. We have the ability to read about the overwhelming need and in the same breath click a button sending funds to aid in alleviating it. We have the wealth and helping couldn't be easier. So, why isn't this poverty problem getting smaller? Could it be because our greed keeps getting bigger.

Jesus help us.

Does anyone else have the sense that we're really missing it? I do too. But I don't want to keep missing it. I want to start spending less on the worthless clutter our culture convinces us we must have. And more on what matters.

Like helping children take their next breath and live long enough to hear the name of Jesus.

Picture via www.alexshouseorphanage.org

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Home is Not a Place

2014-10-29T23:00:00.000-04:00

When I was just a little girl, I longed for nothing more than to put down roots in the same small southern town where my family has lived for generations.

Love for that place and it's quiet, predictable ways convinced me there was no where on earth, save there, for me. Besides, every person I cared anything about dwelled between it's borders. I couldn't for the life of me think of a reason any sane individual would want to leave.

I assumed that safety and happiness were only found in the familiar surroundings and beloved faces of that sleepy little spot of earth.

But as I grew so did the dreams God planted in me. Sooner than I would have guessed and earlier than Mama preferred, He began to call me out from that haven. One small step outside it's protective borders, and then another. Until I found my feet wandering all over God's green earth, and sometimes farther.

And although I still adore that blessed little town and hail it as the dearest to my heart, I have discovered a truth that lets me leave securely:

Home is where He is.

Home is where He sends us. Where He keeps us. Home is where He calls us us. And sometimes where He drags us. Home is in the city and in the country. In the lush of South Alabama and the brown of New Mexico too.

Dear ones, there is no place where God is not. We fool ourselves and idolize places when we believe that happiness lies only there, in that particular spot. Scripture would preach us another sermon. There is no place sweeter than His presence, and His presence is not tethered to a location.

Home is living fully right where He plants us. Embracing whatever with whomever He surrounds us. Home is simply being with Him.

So let's be people who love where we're from and stay there if God so desires. For those He has called out, may we go back often and keep a sacred spot in our souls for where we started.

But no matter where we find ourselves, may our deepest roots be in Him and not the dirt of this earth. Because home is not a place, it's a Person.

Bracelet Giveaway

2014-10-27T10:04:00.000-04:00

While at the Allume conference, I was captured by a sponsor table laden with eye catching ornaments and jewelry.

After looking into the non profit organization selling them, I was even more motivated to buy! Ornaments for Orphans gives men and women in impoverished countries the opportunity to work making beautiful handmade items. This offers them the chance to earn an income and make rent, feed their families, and send their children to school.

Ornaments for Orphans then sells the pretties, using the proceeds to enrich the lives of vulnerable children who are at risk of starvation, trafficking, abuse, and abandonment. It's win win, ya'll!

I spent every dime of shopping money I took to the conference at the Ornaments for Orphans table. Convicted that I should share the jewelry wealth, it seemed appropriate to give a piece away on the blog. I let the Just Beth Facebook followers decide which one. (You should "like" it...I give stuff away.) Ready to see what you chose? Drumroll please...

You did well. It's gorgeous. I might have tried it on just to see how it looks...

Are my arms really that hairy??

Are you ready to win it?

Just add your name to my Follow by Email subscription list, then comment below telling me you did. Easy peasy.

If you already follow by email, share this post on Facebook and leave a comment below that you did! You'll be entered to win, too.

The winner will be chosen Wednesday at 12:00 pm EST. I hope you win!

*Disclaimer! Ornaments4Orphans did not solicit this post. I just like buying a giving their stuff away.

The Quirky Side

2014-10-15T23:14:00.001-04:00

I am tremendously excited to be attending the Allume conference next weekend!

The women who attend fly in from all over the U.S. and Canada. Most are stepping out on a limb and sharing hotel rooms with other gals sight unseen. As in, never met face to face. Although you can be sure we've all been stalking each other on Facebook, Twitter and blog pages.

So far my roomies seem pretty normal. Most people do until you get to know them. Since the weekend is short and we'll be on the fast track to friendship what with sharing a potty and all, I figured we should just cut through the superficial "get to know you" stuff and air our peculiarities on the front end.

In an effort to dispel any myths about my degree of normal-ness I give you
10 Things You Could Care Less to Know About Me.
Be blessed.

#1) I have never not burned the bread for dinner. Toast...french loaf...tender yeast rolls. It doesn't matter. I burn buns. Every. Single. Time. My dear husband has begun to request crackers and untoasted loaf bread. Too bad he didn't get a real wife.

#2) I have been known to develop relationships with fictional book characters. More than once while reading Redeeming Love, I caught myself praying for Angel. And Hadassah in the Mark of the Lion....I considered naming my first born after her. But then he was a boy, so we went with Titus instead.

#3) My favorite shoes are a pair of navy loafer Crocs. Three weeks after I got them, I left them on the back steps to dry after working in the yard. Enter naughty puppy. Now my Crocs look like this:

I still wear them anyway. Nearly every day. All over town. And often to church.

#4) Decisions. Oh the angst of decisions. Is there anything I hate worse than decisions? Menus at restaurants stress me out. Picking out a new purse? Stress. Beach towel? Stress. Please do not EVER ask me to choose where to eat. I will not divulge the amount of time I have spent trying to decide what to wear to this conference. Like it even matters!?

#5) In my quest for frugal living, I've attempted to make nearly every store bought item we like to eat from scratch:

Homemade Butterfinger bars. (Don't waste your time.)
Homemade granola bars. (Easy and totally worth it.)
Homemade Cheezits. (So much work I dared my family to eat more than two at a time. No repeat performance.)
Homemade flavored coffee creamer. (Tasteless disappointment.)
Homemade baby food. (Simple and cost effective.)
Homemade Oreos. (Actually I have the recipe but never followed through.)

In the end, my motto is "Don't they sell that?"

#6) I like to eat dessert after the kids go to bed. Even if I offer something sweet to the rest of the fam at dinner, I wait until 8:30 pm to eat my share. And if there's not a sweet treat in the house, I indulge in a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I see it as my reward for surviving another day.

#7) I sleep with a box fan running on high every night. Even in the dead of winter. It's not about temperature control. It's about noise reduction. This chick is a super light sleeper and without some white noise I hear every dern thing. I usually travel with my beloved sleep aid. But for this particular conference, I'll just be packing the benedryl. Don't throw stones. You'll like me more if I sleep.

#8) Until a few months ago this whole writing dream was a closely guarded secret. I've been a boarder line nervous wreck over letting people in on it. Just ask my husband.

#9) I love the sound of my children playing...OUTSIDE. Their darling little voices quickly escalate in this no carpet house. It doesn't take many decibels to push my limits. So for the love of mama's ears, go play in the great out-of-doors!

#10) I sleep in the nude. KIDDING! I'm a pajama pants and t-shirt girl. It's late and I couldn't think of anything else.

There you have it ladies. Looking forward to next weekend!

*How about the rest of you? Tell us one of your quirks...

Lord, This Is What I'm Giving You Today.

2014-10-13T22:57:00.002-04:00

Lord, I tend to want to hold on. To hoard them near myself for safe keeping. But it's an illusion. The only safe place for anything that matters is in your hands. So this is what I'm giving you today;

My mind - May it constantly dwell on what is true and right. Help me to train it toward constant gratitude. Protect it from the enemy who wants to poison it with subtle lies and faithless thoughts.

My heart - May it beat for you, loving you first and best. Let it treasure what your treasure, and make it broken over what breaks yours. Knowing the mouth speaks of what fills the heart, pour it full of you.

My husband - May he want you more than anything else on this earth and may his satisfaction come solely from you. Let him lead with humble confidence, knowing you are his King. Help me to remember you have given him a great weight of responsibility, and to respect him with this is mind.

My children - May they be soft to the gospel and eager to walk in your ways. Give me the wisdom to train them in the way they should go. I don't want to embitter them, Lord, so let my parenting be done in love. They are yours, therefore help me to shoot them out straight and strong in you when the time comes. Remind me to trust that they are in your constant care.

My dreams - May they find their root in you. Forbid that I should chase what would draw me away from you. Rather, cultivate that which will take me to the depths of you. You alone know all that churns in this heart. I trust that what you purpose will come to pass, and that no plan of yours can be thwarted. Help me believe that you love me like a father, and that you care deeply about the desires of my heart.

My Future - May I rest in the fact that my times are in your hands. Nothing will happen that you have not ordained or allowed. Help me remember that I need not fear the future, because you promise to be there with me. Through mountain high and valley low. My life is yours, do with it as you please.

What do you need to give God today?

Dear Minivan Mama

2014-10-08T22:30:00.001-04:00

I saw you today in a minivan not very different from mine.

You were waiting for traffic to clear so you could turn left into the parking lot I was leaving. Looking straight ahead into your van, I had the perfect view of the exchange that was taking place.

That thing where you look in the rear view mirror to ~~yell~~ talk sternly to the kids in the back. You were doing it. And then the tell-tell forehead into the hand. I didn't need to hear the words to imagine what was going on:

Image via newsbeatsocial

Mom, she's touching me!

Mom, he's looking out my window!

Mom, I need to make an animal habitat for school. By tomorrow!

You had the look of weary exasperation. I recognized it because I was wearing it myself. Just 5 minutes before I had been that parent who made true on the threat and pulled over because the kids were fighting. Again. Over a green mardi gras necklace.

As I watched you clutch the steering wheel and take deep breaths, I wondered if you were thinking what I was thinking.

Am I going to live through raising these children? If so, are they?

Why do I get so frustrated? Shouldn't I have more control and energy for this?

What I'm doing isn't working. Is it my fault they aren't better behaved, more respectful, kinder kids?

There we were. Two mama's in minivans. Struggling with this mess of a thing called motherhood.

That half a minute glimpse into your van put a tiny smile on my face, though. I saw myself in your struggle and felt a little less alone and a little less crazy. I wanted to hug you and say "Solidarity, sister! I'm on your team." It was instant camaraderie and I longed to invite you to coffee so we could lament together. Because this thing is hard, and we need each other.

You finally got the clear and turned left, passing right by my van. For a brief second our eyes locked and something passed between us.

It felt a lot like understanding. And it was wonderful.

What My Foster Son Taught Me About Hospitality

2014-10-05T21:45:00.000-04:00

When He first came to us, the house was a mess and dinner wasn’t ready. We didn't have much time to roll out the welcome mat, and only Anna and I were here to greet him. But of all the guests I’ve had in my house, this little one has taught me the most about offering our home to others.

He’s taught me that the mess doesn’t matter. He could care less if the toys are put away and the fact that I haven’t deep cleaned the fridge in months doesn’t bother him in the least. He is at home here because we want him here, not because the house is tidy and well kept. Laughing and playing and loving happen despite the disorder around us. And when the focus is on the people in the house, rather than the looks of the house, magical things happen.

He’s taught me that fancy isn’t needed. Seasonal decor and perfectly kept furnishings are not necessary for him to be blessed by his time here. In fact, his crib is borrowed and the toys he enjoys have been well loved on before. The table where he dines has scratches and nicks, but the company he keeps while he eats loves the stew out of him. Plain things don’t hinder the show of affection. We offer what we have, mainly ourselves, and that is enough for him.

He’s taught me that letting go of the ideal is important. Ideally, he would have his own room. Ideally we would have extra space to store the wall to wall baby gear. Ideally we would have had everything in order before he came to us. But if we had allowed what was “ideal” to rule the day when we were deciding about inviting him in, we probably wouldn't have taken him. But we would have missed out on the supreme blessing of loving and being loved by him.

He’s taught me that showing true hospitality is worth the effort. Having him here definitely requires more work. Everyone in our family has had to pitch in and give of themselves to make this thing happen. There is more to clean, more to cook, more work to do! But in that work a marvelous process is taking place; a little boy is finding his place in a family. And that family is discovering that life isn't solely about taking care of their own.

He's taught me that when God asks us to share, He gives us everything we need to do it. When we first learned that he would be joining us we had 36 hours to prepare, and exactly one thing ready for him; a crib. Within 6 hours, God delivered mounds of baby gear and clothes. And in the last 6 months, He's kept up a steady stream of deliveries. Through faithful friends and perfect strangers, God has provided what is needed to care for this little one. He's the best dressed and most fully equipped little darling in the area!

One little fellow has taught my family loads about inviting others into our home. We’ve learned that it’s not so about how the house looks or what's on the menu. Because of him, we now understand that offering ourselves and sharing what we have is the essence of true hospitality.

Hospitality 101: 7 Ways to Stress Less When Inviting People Over

2014-10-01T22:46:00.001-04:00

I have always enjoyed having people in my home.

Some dear friends who were often in our home when we lived in New Mexico. Sitting on "the couch" no less!
(Don't kill me, Meg)

From my teeny collage apartment to our first house, my living space is constantly a gathering place for friends. Barbecues, bridal showers, casual get-togethers and large crowd shindigs, we've had it all under our roof at one time or another. These days having 30 people in our home is often a weekly occurrence!

Along the way I've learned a few things about how to stress less and enjoy the art of showing hospitality more.

1. Get Organized - At least a week before an event, I make a plan. I write out four lists: names of those coming, the menu, a grocery list based on the menu, and everything I want to do to prepare. Sometimes these lists are no big deal, like when we're only having one other family over for dinner. But if five or six families are coming, I dare you to get between me and my lists!!

2. Start Early - After I make the lists, I determine what can be done in advance. I try to have as little as possible to do the day of the get together. This means making the dessert, fixing the tea, even chopping salad fixings beforehand. There is always more to do than I anticipated the day of, and having some margin in the day leaves room for the inevitable "life" that happens.

3. Keep It Simple - It only took a few elaborate menus to realize that trying to get and keep multiple foods hot at the same time was a delicate balance. One that is impossible with toddlers underfoot! I now go for a very simple menu; a main dish, one side or salad, a bread and a dessert. Doing a few foods well beats having most of the meal being either burned or cold.

4. Share The Love - Early on I made a major mistake when having people over. I would insist that I do all the cooking for the meal. I didn't want to burden those I was trying to bless! But over time I have discovered that most people enjoy contributing in some way. Many feel downright awkward arriving empty handed. These days, if others offer to bring something, I let them!

5. Let Them Help - One of the most wonderful things about having people in my home is inviting them to be part of our family for the time they are here. One of the best ways to do that is by allowing them to help finish meal preparations once they arrive. Ask them to put ice in glasses, fill a tray with bread, or set out plates and silverware. They will be glad for a chance to participate rather than simply observe.

6. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Take a deep breath and say it with me, "Everything I want to get done will not get done." If you stress about things that aren't important, like the fact that you didn't have time to mop or didn't set out all your fall decor, you will only succeed at working yourself into a state. (Please tell me you know what I'm talking about here...or am I the only one?) And when you get bent out of shape, that pleasant and inviting atmosphere you want to offer goes out the window. Why? Because hospitality is much more about the state of the people in the house, than the house.

7. Don't Forget Your Family - More than once I have been guilty of being so focused on preparing to have people over, that I leave my family on the back burner. Worse, I can be short tempered and have unrealistic expectations of little ones who are still in the process of learning. Offer gracious hospitality to your friends, but don't run your family off in the process.

There you go dear ones. Now go call a family you haven't seen in a while and invite them over for a meal next weekend!

*I love hearing from you! What other good advice do you have about offering hospitality?

That Time God Gave Me A Couch To Calm My Nerves

2014-09-28T21:41:00.004-04:00

We were all set for a big move. But for once in my life, the thrill of adventure was neck and neck with the fear of facing it.

Nathan had accepted his first senior pastor position and we were two weeks away from loading up and leaving Fort Worth behind. It had taken a straight up act of God to get me to concur that this was of Him. And although I was fully on board, I was also worried about how it was all going to turn out.

Along with the anxiety there was serious sadness. We were saying goodbye to friends who were like family, and a church we adored. But there were also some things to look forward to.

Like a new couch.

We had been using a hideous blue thing Nate had purchased second hand during his pre-Beth days. It was a two-seater that reclined and He thought it was the bomb.com. I loathed it. But being poor seminary folk, I was just glad to have a place to plant our hineys while we ate jambalaya and watched The King of Queens.

Me, the babies, and the ugly blue couch.

But that was about to change as we were abandoning our teeny apartment for a parsonage that sported a spacious living room. My love of hospitality was in overdrive and I had big plans for hosting church families and fellowships. There was a problem, though, since our current furniture would limit us to four butts at a time. If both Nate and I stood. So, I had convinced my ~~frugal~~ Dave Ramsey loving husband to use some of the money we had saved to look for a brand new couch. Preferably one that didn't scream FLAT BROKE SEMINARY BACHELOR.

The week before the move, I had a dental appointment scheduled. This was a slightly big deal because I sorta don't like going to the dentist (it's likely Titus got his mild aversion of the same from me) and it had potentially been ~~a while~~ years since I had been. I went in nervous as a cat. And left mad as a hornet.

I had cavities that needed to be filled. Shocker, right? (Dear young people. Go to the dentist.) Since our dental insurance was more of a dental savings plan, this was going to cost us out the wazoo. I saw my couch going out the window.

Driving down I-85 south, I stewed over the whole situation. The cost of the fillings was going to leave about $30 to spend on a couch. I despaired at the idea of having that one tiny ugly blue thing in our new living room. I even considered not telling Nate about the cavities, ignoring the need for fillings, and buying a new couch anyway. Dentures aren't that bad, right?

It was in the midst of that stinkin' thinkin' that God broke in with His own thoughts on the situation.

Why don't you just ask me for a couch?

Excuse me? I asked in disbelief. Figuring this was my own internal voice and not that of the Almighty, I shook my head as if to sling the thought aside.

But then, AGAIN...Why don't you ask me for a couch?

Lord, I can't ask you for a couch. There are starving children in Africa. And lost people everywhere. Asking you for a couch seems so petty and materialistic AND SELFISH.

Beth, I want you to ask me for a couch.

Minutes passed as I drove along and chewed on how ridiculous this whole thing seemed. Finally, reluctantly...

Fine, Lord. Will you give me a couch?

Absolute silence. For the rest of the drive.

I arrived home, shoved my way through the boxes, and told Nate the whole ugly tooth decaying truth. I left out the conversation with God. Quite frankly I wasn't convinced He was going to say yes. And did God really prompt people to ask for couches? Or maybe this was just a lesson I needed to learn about accepting "no" from God and being content with what I have. Bottom line...I felt like God had bigger fish to fry, even in my own life, than giving me a piece of furniture. I told no one about that conversation with Him.

That was on Monday. By Thursday the couch issue was on the back burner and it was time to host my girlfriends for our last weekly Bible study. That evening we did our usual thing and then lingered in prolonged conversation, no one wanting to end our final gathering. Eventually the girls began to collect their things and edge toward the door, still finding stuff to talk about on the way out.

It never ceases to amaze me the way God chooses everyday moments to drop Himself into our lives.

Just before Melissa got to the door, she said

"Beth, I almost forgot to ask... we've decided we need some new living room furniture. Would you be interested in taking our couch with you when you move? And the matching love seat? And that giant ottoman that goes with it? Totally free. Our moving gift to you if you want it. "

Jaw drop. "YES!" I answered over-enthusiastically, like some kind of couch covet-er. (In my defense, Melissa doesn't buy junk. We're talking NICE FURNITURE here.) God had outdone Himself. He not only gave me a couch, but a complete set of living room furniture.

That was over five years ago and that couch still seats our hineys. I've told the story multiple times because it's such a testimony to some things I have learned to be true:

1) God cares about every little thing in our lives. He tells us to "cast our cares on Him", with no specifics about which cares are viable to bother him with. Like a parent with a child, no part of your life is too insignificant for Him to care about.

2) God owns it all. And if He is of a mind to give you something, it's no skin off His back. Psalms tells us He "owns the cattle on a thousand hills." In Old Testament talk, that means He's really rich. His resources are infinite. Asking Him for something doesn't mean He has less to give someone else.

3) Where God leads He also goes. That couch was God's way of saying "I'm in this. You don't have to fear this move, because where I send you, I go with you." This is the essence of faith, friends. His presence is more than enough.

And ya'll, when we moved into the parsonage there was exactly one piece of decor already provided in the home. Beautiful drapes hanging in the living room. That matched my new couch perfectly.

Despite appearances, it wasn't family worship hour when I took this picture!

* I love hearing from you. What crazy thing have you been wanting to ask God for?

Getting What You Crave

2014-09-24T10:10:00.002-04:00

One thing has become obvious to me.

Many, many women crave a more vibrant, fulfilling, life changing relationship with God. But multitudes don't know how to go about it, and countless others are not convinced it's worth what they'll have to give up to get it.

I can relate. I had a head knowledge of salvation and all things Jesus for years before I realized there was more. I've done the mediocre Christian thing. And during that time I was not satisfied. I've never been a just stick your toe in type. I want to be fully submerged.

Once I wrapped my soul around the truth that there was more to faith than a brain belief and began to earnestly seek Him, my relationship with Christ became the most dynamic and exciting thing about my existence. It is now the one thing I know I can't live without.

If you aren't content with your relationship with Jesus, take heart because that is one thing you have the option to change. Wondering how?

The first and most foundational step, my dears, is to seek Him daily. I know. It seems so obvious and elementary and baby faith-ish. But darlings, if you want a deep and thrilling relationship, the kind where you and Jesus are like white on rice, then you can not skip this step. It is the crucial path to intimacy with him.

Look closely and you'll see the coffee stains. I've spilled more than one cup.

Seeking Him daily involves two key things: communicating with Him, and reading the message from Him (the Bible). This is how I go about it:

1) I have the same four items ready and waiting in the same spot (my front porch) every single day: Bible, journal, pen and devotional or notebook. I have a set time for using them to seek Him. During this season of life, it's after I kiss my fellas goodbye and get the baby down for his morning nap. I settle Anna on the couch for an episode of Dora (don't throw stones...Mama needs Jesus) and take my coffee out to the porch. If I play my cards right, I get 30 good minutes. But the amount of time is not the important thing! Various seasons of life will greatly affect the amount of time you get to spend. The point is to simply set aside time and make it the priority.

2) I journal first. It's like I need to empty out words before I'm ready to be filled. I simply write what's on my mind. I pen down my prayers during this time too. Helps keep me focused rather than having thoughts that bounce from redecorating the room to that conversation I had at church yesterday. I also ask God to teach me through what I am about to read in His word.

3) Next comes reading His message. Applying scripture in the context it was written is essential, so I read through books of the Bible instead of picking random verses. Right now I'm in Hebrews. This part I believe is key; I read small sections! We're not going for quantity here. Go for understanding. Depth of meaning. Sometimes that means reading only 3 or 4 verses.

4) Two options as to what comes next: Often I read a devotional. My favorite is Come Away My Beloved, but I have used many others too. If you are just starting out with a consistent time with God, I highly recommend this route. Most of them take 2 minutes max to read. God uses other people to speak to us, so don't discount a good solid devotional book.

The other option: As of late I've traded in the devotionals for a plain old spiral bound notebook. After I read the section of scripture at least twice, I write each verse in my own words. Next I write what I call a "BP"-a Biblical Principal. Basically, this is a boiled down version of what that scripture means. Then I consider how God wants to use that truth in my life.

That's it ya'll. Nothing complicated. But nothing more necessary. If you feel like something is lacking in your relationship with God but aren't spending time in His word, you'll be stuck in that feeling until you do.

And if a faith without fences is what you're after, this is the first fence you must tear down. When you say "no" to meeting with Christ daily you build a teeny, confining fence around your life. That fence limits His involvement, His power, and His communication with you.

I dare say if there is a woman whose faith you admire, it's due to the years that she has spent reading God's word and seeking Him daily. It isn't what we do every now and then that makes us who we are. It's what we do with consistency.

One last thing, ladies, the only real difference in those who have a rocking vibrant faith and those who don't, is the intensity with which they seek it.

The blessed truth He promises is this:

Everyone who seeks, finds.

Matthew 7:8

*I love hearing from you! Tell us how you seek Him by commenting below! Give us some fresh ideas.

What I Promise to Do For You

2014-09-21T22:48:00.000-04:00

When I got the first email alerting me to a completed survey, I danced a jig in the kitchen. As more and more came in, I was delighted that so many participated. You have given me much to chew on the past few days. The responses are captivating and oh so telling as to what is going on in the lives of women everywhere.

After compiling and contemplating the answers to the survey, here is what I learned about what you seek, what you struggle with, and what you hope I can do for you.

What You Seek

Reading about what you yearn for resonated with me! Based on your responses, here are the things I believe you crave:

A vibrant, living faith.
A sense that someone else gets you.
God's truth applied to your life.
A good laugh. And a good cry.
Feeling like you are the wife, mother, woman Christ desires you to be.
A word from God.

What You Struggle With

No matter how things look on the outside, we all struggle with something. And some of us are struggling with many somethings. How many of these are all too familiar to you?

Trying to balance it all.
Feeling alone, left out.
Struggling to trust God with every little thing.
Raising children.
Strained relationships with husband and friends.
Wanting a deeper faith, more quality time with God.
Dealing with anxiety over how God and others view you.
Worry. Fear. Grief.
Discovering your place in God's plan.
Stress concerning job, finances.
Accepting imperfections and inadequacies.

What You Want From Me

Let's be honest. There are about 10,000 things you feel pulling at you during any given day. So why dedicate any of it to reading a blog written by an obscure woman with too many words to use? Clearly, there must be something in it for you. (Or you're my family and I make you proof it.) Quite frankly, I think what you want from me and this blog is directly related to what you crave. What we all crave. This is what I believe you are looking for when you visit my blog:

Someone to help you feel a little less crazy and alone by being real and transparent. Nitty gritty truthfulness.
Words that point you to Christ and His word.
Divine insight in the midst of the every day.
Real life stories so you can relate, connect, and experience the "I get you" factor.
A laugh. And a cry!
Inspiration to live your faith fully.

Can I share something with you? Reading the responses to this survey may have been one of the most affirming experiences of my life. Why? Because what you want from me, I can give to you. Ya'll, I am WIRED to share about what is going on in my life. Can't help but talk about what God is teaching me. Love nothing more than convincing people they should follow Christ with crazy abandon. It is what makes me tick. It's like breathing for me.

But along with that, hear this confession: Many of you listed words like "inspiration, encouragement, and Godly insight" as reasons you visit my blog and what you hope to get when you come here. This causes no small amount of anxiety and there may be some shallowness of breath, too. I've chewed on it for days, constantly asking myself this question, "Can I handle the weight of that expectation?!"

And this is what I concluded:

Nope. There's just no way I can promise that every time you visit this blog you'll be inspired. Encouraged. Motivated. Receive Godly insight. I know me. And I'm just too human.

But this is what I can promise you.

I promise to write with abandon telling you the real, honest, and often embarrassing truth about my life and what God is teaching me.
I promise to point you to Christ every chance I get. What He reveals to me, I will pass on to you.
I promise to be both funny and sad so that you have plenty of opportunities to embarrass yourself while reading this blog in the presence of others.
I promise to shoot straight with you. I will not sugar coat or pretty up the hard truths He asks me to type.
I promise to share what I've learned about developing a deep and vibrant faith in the midst of a messy and imperfect life. Any spiritual nugget of truth I posses is yours too.
I promise to take you with me on this outlandish adventure He has me on and will push you to live yours too. Faith without fences, dear hearts.

I take this so seriously that I am choking back tears. (I'm in a coffee shop or I would probably just give in and sob.) I'm humbled by your trust in me, your willingness to spend time listening to me.

And your incredible desire to hear from God sends me running to Him all the more. Thank you for that! Because there is nothing I want more.

Reader Survey: Tell Me About You

2014-09-17T10:45:00.000-04:00

Greetings darling readers.

I want to improve this blog and to do that I need to know more about you!

If you are willing to help, click the link below to this super short survey that will give me a better feel for who you are and what you're about. Don't worry, no names or identifying info is needed. Every response is completely anonymous.

Tell Me About You Survey

Thanks in advance for your time and help. Every one of you matters!

Beth

Life Changing Love

2014-09-10T05:42:00.000-04:00

Experiencing God as King has long been my thing, but grasping His deep love for me has often proven elusive....until he recently revealed it in a most profound way.

It was Friday and I was taking my foster son out of the car after dropping the big kids off at school. Smiling at that darling face, I hefted him onto my hip and smooched my thousandth kiss. He buried his little head in my neck and I marveled again at my love for him.

Because despite the fact that he's not from my body, I love this baby boy.

The way he smiles from the inside out. Peach fuzz head and ears that poke out. His double chin and chunky thighs. The unbelievable softness of his skin. His little arm hooked around my neck.

I love how he's found his feet and thinks they're hilarious. I love that he loves my singing voice even though it's hideous. I love the way he grins with two fingers stuck in his mouth and a line of drool dripping down. I love that his favorite place to be is with me.

I love him despite the fact that he has nothing to offer me except dirty diapers and infantile affection.

I love every square inch of this new chick with a fierceness I could not have predicted. But as I considered my deep affection for him, I remembered again the possibility that we might get separated soon. And if that happens chances are good that he will never know about me. Or my love for him. And that thought shatters my heart. Every. Single. Time.

Because I'm eager. Desperate. Passionate for him to know my love.

I want him to know that he brings me unspeakable joy. How I think he's wonderful and that I love to simply sit and stare at him. I want him to know the way I marvel over who he is and covet his continued presence in my life. To know I am jealous for him and would do anything to protect him. How I am for him. And that I yearn for a relationship with him that does not end. I want him to know I wish my place in his life was secure. That I shake with sobs over the thought of losing him. And most of all this: That if it were up to me, he would never go a day without experiencing my love for him.

Because my love has the power to change everything for him. In him. Around him. About him. Love is a game changer. A life changer. It transforms circumstances and casts out fears and fights offenders and offers a home. And given the chance I would apply it to his life over and over and over again. I could change the trajectory of his life with it.

As I stood in the driveway with love for my foster son overwhelming my heart, God gently reminded me how weeks ago I had asked Him to help me grasp the depth of his love. And then He said.

Look at your love for him. You'll see my love for you.

And for the first time in my life, I bowed my head and wept over the intensity of His love for me.

Ya'll, I grasped hold of it. How he deeply adores me. How he graciously pursued me. How he gave everything to have me. It was the single most profound experience of God's love I've ever been wrecked with.

And I was suddenly, shockingly, irreversibly compelled to share it with those who have not taken hold of it. Not His Lordship. Not His Faithfulness. Not His Majesty. His Life Changing Love.

Because there are so many separated from him. And what if they never know that He marvels over them? What if no one ever tells them that He craves a relationship with them? That He has moved heaven and earth to have them? That His every thought is for them? That He grieves over the thought of losing them? And how if it were up to Him, they would never go another day without experiencing his profound, life altering, senseless love for them?

His love is The Game Changer. The Life Changer. It moves mountains and casts out fears and fights offenders and offers a home. It can change the trajectory of a life. His love has the power to change EVERYTHING.

It is life changing love.

Do you know someone who needs to hear about (or be reminded of) God's love for them? Share this with them! God might just use it to change a life.