Save Our Little Children

Child Abuse Statistics

2011-01-16T02:35:00.000-08:00

The million-dollar-question would be: How many children are abused in the United States?

It has been pointed out that the incidence of child abuse and neglect have nominally decreased over the recent years, more than 1.25 million; that brings it to 1 out of every 58 children in the United States, were abused back in the year 2006. This staggering number has been proven solidly over the years after that.

61%, or more than half of the children (a total of 771,700) were victimized by neglect. This means that a parent or guardian failed to provide for the child's basic needs. This includes but is not limited to the more obvious ones which are food, shelter, clothing, and education. The three main facets of neglect include education neglect (360,500 children), physical neglect (295,300 children), and emotional neglect (193,400 children).

Around 44% of this statistics are comprised of children who were victimized by abuse (553,300 children). This includes physical abuse (325,000 children), sexual abuse (135,000 children), and emotional abuse (145,500 children). A staggering average of nearly four children die each day as a result of child abuse or neglect; based on a study conducted back in year 2007. That comes up with a disturbing number of 1,760 children.

So the question here is: "Who is more likely to be abused or neglected among these children?" Truth is, no group of children is immune from being victimized by abuse or neglect. Although girls are oftentimes more prone to physical abuse compared to boys, boys aren't necessarily ruled out of the equation altogether. For all other types of abuse or neglect, the statistics for the number of boys and girls victimized are apparently equal.

Children coming from all races, ethnicities, or cultural backgrounds can be victims of child abuse. As a matter of fact, back in year 2007, nearly one-half of all victims of child abuse and neglect where Caucasian (46.1%), one-fifth where African-American (21.7%), and one-fifth were Hispanic (20.8%).

Although it has been commonly observed that children of all ages may experience abuse or neglect, it is usually the youngest children which are most vulnerable and susceptible, with almost 32% of the children victimized with abuse or neglect being at the age of four years and below.

Back in year 2007, more than half (57%) of all child abuse cases and reports made to CPS agencies came from professionals who came in contact with the child concerned; this includes but are not limited to teachers, lawyers, police officers, and even social workers. This is mainly because many of these professionals are required by law to report suspected abuse or neglect. But the big question there is what happens to the rest who don't fall under the spectrum of the said statistics?

Many reports (which make up 26 %) came from nonprofessional sources, such as parents, other relatives, friends and neighbors. Anonymous reports have also been counted to make up 7% of all reports in the year 2007.

It should be considered as a cause of great value to know and to be able to identify the signs of child abuse and how to manage and report it. Everyone should be made to understand how important it is to share the responsibility to help keep the children safe and to take the necessary precautions and steps to prevent child abuse from occurring in the first place.

Child Protection Calls Increase After Baby Peter's Case

2009-10-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

More people are calling the NSPCC Helpline about serious child abuse since the death of Baby Peter two years ago.

Last year (Apr 08-Mar 09) the 24-hour freephone service (0808 800 5000) passed on 11,243 suspected child protection cases to police or social services - an increase of more than a third over two years.

Baby Peter died in August 2007 when he was just 17 months old. In the year before his death, the NSPCC made 8,170 referrals; the following year the figure rose to 9,620.

More than one in three calls (35%) referred by the Helpline last year concerned families unknown to local agencies. The authorities took action to investigate and protect the children in nearly all (98%) cases.

Many of the calls were about children being physically assaulted, sexually abused or badly neglected. Most came from neighbours, relatives and friends of the family.

The number of child abuse calls continues to grow. In June the NSPCC Helpline referred over 1,000 calls to agencies - more than one an hour.

Christine Renouf, Director of Helpline Services said: "Fortunately people seem to be more aware of children who might be at risk of serious harm and are taking action to help them.

"The brutal torture and death of Baby Peter was terrible but we know it was a wake-up call for some people to look out for children. More than one in three of our suspected child protection cases involve families not known to local authorities. Among them there will be children saved by a phone call to our Helpline.

"The increasing number of serious child abuse calls we are getting shows the continuing need for our Helpline. But it's also encouraging that so many people are now taking responsibility for stopping this abuse. It is becoming more and more difficult for child abusers to hide their crimes.

"It only takes a few seconds to dial our number and it could be the difference between life and death for a child."

It will be the second anniversary of Baby Peter's death on Monday (August 3). He died after suffering more than 50 injuries during months of abuse at his home in Haringey, north London.

His 27-year-old mother was given an indeterminate sentence with a minimum of five years at the Old Bailey in May for causing or allowing her son's death. Her boyfriend was given 12 years for the same offence and life for raping a two-year-old girl. Their lodger, Jason Owen, 36, was also jailed for causing or allowing the death of Baby Peter and received an indefinite sentence with a minimum of three years.

(The picture above is of Baby Peter)

Abused children suffer mental health problems through lack of therapy

2009-09-16T03:57:00.000-07:00

A huge shortfall in therapy is leaving thousands of sexually abused children struggling to recover from their ordeal, a new NSPCC report reveals.

Each year at least 55,000 sex abuse victims face behavioural and mental health problems because of a post-code lottery in therapeutic services.

There is only one support programme for every 25,000 children living in the UK and many areas provide no therapeutic provision for sexually abused children at all.

The 508 services identified in the report are so over-stretched that many are being forced to close their books. And those children and teenagers who get treatment often have to wait between three months and a year for this to begin.

The report* reveals that teenagers are especially likely to miss out on therapy because they are less able to access services for adults and may be considered too old to get support on a child protection plan.

Eleven percent of young adults report experiences of physical sexual abuse during their childhoods. The report's authors say the number of treatment spaces would have to grow fourfold to cope with the estimated numbers of sexually abused children and young people seeking support at any one time.

Debbie Allnock, who led the research and is based at the NSPCC's Fresh Start in London, said: "Sexual abuse can have devastating consequences for a child but it remains a low priority within mainstream mental health services and among local authorities. Yet experiences of sexual abuse are common among people with severe long-term behavioural, criminal and addiction problems.

"Long waiting lists mean that if a young person is sexually abused they often don't get the therapeutic help they need unless they also have a child protection plan. It takes bravery for a young person to tell someone about their sexual abuse and ask for help. But their suffering may only get noticed when they show significant signs of distress, anguish or damaging behaviours. They may then have a long wait for the support they desperately need."

Sexually abused children often need many months of therapy to help them overcome the impact of their abuse - 'quick fix' solutions are rarely enough. Yet the report, funded by the Private Equity Foundation, found that therapeutic programmes often risk being cut short due to lack of resources.

Debbie Allnock continued: "It is vital that effective specialist support is readily available when children want it, for as long as they want it. This helps reduce their psychological injury and enables them to lead more fulfilled lives. The severe lack of services across the UK is a serious problem that needs huge investment."

This pioneering research has identified for the first time the scale of the problem across the UK. But to ensure there is an accurate local picture the NSPCC is urging all Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) to track the number of sexually abused children who receive therapy.

This will help the government identify gaps in services and provide help for sexually abused children who might otherwise slip through the net.

A Parent's Guide To Preventing Child Abduction

2009-05-11T03:05:00.000-07:00

With all of the Amber alerts recently, it’s no wonder that many parents worry more than ever about their children’s well-being and safety. A lot of parents don’t know when to start safety training, or how to bring up the topic without scaring children to death. There are some ways to do this so that your child will understand where you are coming from. A little dose of fear of strangers never hurt any children; it’s when parents ignore the subject because of their fear of scaring their children or talking about the subject that children have gotten hurt.

Children seem to intuitively have a built- in monitor for trusting people and not trusting people. Babies at a very young age develop stranger anxiety, which usually goes away with time, but even from this age, parents can encourage their babies to not just go hug any individual or stranger. Parents can use their internal barometer to help children realize who safe and non-safe people are. A lot of parents worry that their children will become too clingy if they don’t let their children go to a lot of people freely (baby-sitter, family friends, people at a family reunion, etc.) Perhaps it is good that your baby has these fears, though. This will give you a perfect starting point for teaching children about strangers, and yes, the potentially hazardous people that are in this world.

Once children start talking and walking, it might be a good idea to let all know that baby is going to only go to people whom Mom and Dad approve of, know well, etc... For example, your mother can hold baby, but the next door neighbor would not be allowed to. If you see the next door neighbor, perhaps your child can wave, but maybe you will have some boundaries about physical touch. Another example would be that the children can only hug family members like Mom, Dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle and grandparents. This will give your kids some boundaries about who it is okay to hug/touch, and who it is not okay to hug/touch.

Probably the most important part of all of this is communicating with your children. Sitting them down and talking to them about how there are some people in this world that are just not nice and do not want them to be with Mom and Dad, might work. Talking to them about never getting into cars or going anywhere with strangers also could help. Let your children know that Mom and Dad are people that they can come to with problems, and if someone else ever tries to take on that role, to run the opposite way and let Mom and Dad know as soon as possible.

A few more subtle ways of keeping your child safe are to never let your child wear a shirt, necklace, etc. that says his/her name on it. Potential abductors can prey off of your child by saying they “aren’t a stranger because they know his/her name.” A lot of times, innocent children will fall for this. Also, make your child know that if anyone offers them candy or toys or asks for help with their puppy, that that is usually a sign that they are a dangerous person. Let your child also know that they can have a say in what happens to them. They don’t have to (and shouldn’t) just stand idly by while someone commits a crime against them. They can fight, kick, bite, scream, whistle (maybe you can have your child wear a whistle if they are ever alone) and do everything possible to get away from that dangerous person.

Child Abuse Survivors

2009-05-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

If you lived through child abuse, you've no doubt experienced messages of family shame. Do you remember hearing messages like the following?

Message #1: "You'll never amount to anything."

Message #2: "Can't you see how much I'm sacrificing for you?"

Message #3: "You need to…" (be or do something your family approves of)

Maybe they were communicated in subtle ways rather than stated out loud. But the messages still got through loud and clear, and in the process, your confidence took a major hit.

Healing from abuse is never easy. It's true that children are the quickest of learners. They're minds are so flexible and open they pick up anything - including messages and beliefs that can hurt them. So if you heard anything like the above, it's time to start letting them go. Here are a few tips to get you started.

Tip #1: Grieve your pain. Cry. Scream. Hit a pillow until you're blue in the face. It's important to discharge all the anger and sadness you've built up as a result of internalizing the messages of family shame. Grieving is how you process painful events and integrate them into your life so you can move on.

Tip #2: Give up guilt. Messages such as "can't you see how much I'm sacrificing for you" were designed to keep you feeling guilty so you could be controlled more easily. If you had a parent who said that to you, know that it is the job of a loving parent to make sacrifices on behalf of their child to ensure their child's needs are met. It's not your job to feel guilty because your parent couldn't handle the adult responsibilities of parenting and the stress that goes with it.

Tip #3: Set clear boundaries with others. If you're in the midst of the healing process, you need to make your healing a priority. If that means you need to put some distance between you and your abusive family, that's what you need to do. You don't need to do or be anything or anyone but yourself. Give yourself the space to heal. You deserve it.

Tip #4: Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Child abuse is a serious issue and deserves serious attention. If you have supportive friends who are willing to listen that's a good start. But if they can't understand everything you're going through because they themselves haven't been abused, don't be afraid to get a good therapist. A good therapist will help you learn to trust others, and more importantly, yourself.

Tip #5: Set goals and take action. Change doesn't happen without goals backed up by action. Set some realistic goals for yourself. It can be outside the realm of your healing, such as a fitness goal. Make a goal that says "I will walk 2 miles three days a week by October 15, XXXX." Then do it. Setting goals and achieving them gives you a tremendous feeling of accomplishment. Accomplishing something you set out to do empowers you and helps you override the messages of family shame that say you won't amount to anything.

The amount of natural happiness that starts oozing into your life when you stop believing the messages of family shame is amazing. You don't have to feel like it's such a struggle to be happy. It's a natural byproduct of your self improvement.

Warning Signs Of Child Abuse

2009-04-21T04:05:00.000-07:00

Child abuse can manifest itself in as many ways as there are reasons why people commit acts of abuse. When dealing with suspicious situations, keep in mind that anyone can be an abuser. It is not safe to assume that a family member, friend or any other person is not capable of abusing a child. There are 4 major types of abuse: physical, sexual, emotional and neglect.

Physical abuse is any injury purposely inflicted upon a child. This can include kicking, biting, violent shaking, hair pulling, choking, burning or beating. Unfortunately, this list is not all inclusive as there are so many unimaginable ways that children are being abused. If a child has numerous fractures, welts or bruises in various stages of healing, then there is good reason to be suspicious. Unless you are an actual witness to an act of violence, there isn't any fool proof method to ensure that an injury does indeed indicate abuse; children get hurt all of the time while playing. A good rule of thumb is that any "questionable" injuries are not likely to happen more than once. If there is a pattern of injuries with explanations that don't add up, this is a serious red flag and should be brought to the attention of Social Services or some other form of authority in your area.

Sexual abuse is any sexual act between a child and an adult. Actual intercourse does not have to occur for a child to be considered sexually abused. Children can be forced to observe or participate in various sexual acts. This form of abuse is more difficult to reveal.

Emotional abuse is verbal abuse or an attitude that is degrading a child. This can include name calling, screaming, shaming or negatively comparing a child to another "good" child. Emotional abuse can have long lasting effects on the social and mental health development of a child.

Neglect is failing to provide for a child's basic needs. This can include inappropriate clothing for the weather, unhealthy food (or no food at all), lack of supervision, denial of medical care to a sick or injured child or denial of love and affection.

In most cases, abused children will not just come out and tell you that they are being abused. There is a fear of with might happen to them if they tell and possibly even a feeling of betraying the abuser. Some children are lead to believe that the abuse is their fault and so they feel ashamed to tell anyone. However, there are some signs you can keep on eye out for (other than the physical marks themselves). Following is a list of some of those signs:

-withdrawal from family and friends

-sleeplessness

-irrational fears

-depression

-anxiety

-change in weight

-nightmares

-anger

-low self-esteem

-privacy issues.

This list includes only a few signs that can point to abuse. If a child has a couple of these signs, that does not necessarily mean that a child is being abused. Also, all abused children do not exhibit these signs.

No reason is ever a good enough reason to abuse a child. People who were abused as children sometimes find themselves in a never-ending cycle of abuse. People who are addicted to any type of substances, or who live under a great deal of stress such as poverty, can find themselves abusing a child. Parents who move frequently and don't have any medical records for their children, may be hiding something. Anything that seems suspicious is a possible clue.

Reporting child abuse can be quite a sticky situation and most people would prefer to stay out of it, but for a child's sake, it is better to be safe than sorry. Look in you phone book for Social Services or other local agencies that deal with abused children -- most of the time you can call in you suspicion without even leaving them your name.

The best way to help an abused child or preventing it from happening to your child is by educating yourself and watching for the signs. Teach your child what is and is not acceptable from others and believe your child if they tell you that something is wrong. Children can't always speak for themselves, so we have to speak up for them.

Identify Child Abuse Signs

2009-04-21T03:57:00.000-07:00

With 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls undergoing childhood abuse, seeing the signs is important. The physical signs of child abuse are well known, but what happens when the symptoms are hidden and don't include bruises. Here are some of the other less obvious signs that a child is potentially in an abusive situation.

(Step 1) Discount grades and academic achievement as a sign of a well adjusted child. Children who are ritually or frequently abused learn to adapt and hide all symptoms of their abuse. Rather than just worrying about the child with low grades, the child who overachieves and places all their time and focus on academics may be exhibiting escape behaviors.

(Step 2) Watch for sudden extrovert behaviors in a suspected abused child. Children who play the class clown or seem happy and friendly all the time may be undergoing severe abuse. They don't wish to deal with the reality of their own life and so place a thick happy mask on their feelings and circumstances.

(Step 3) Note risk taking behavior or an adventurous personality as a sign of possible abuse. Another method of escape and an indicator of low self worth, the abused child may test their mind and body to extremes, participate in dangerous activities or deliberately place themselves in harm's way. Observe those children who seem willing to try anything for other signs of abuse.

(Step 4) Be aware that children undergoing abuse will go out of their way to help others. When a child always seems focused on the minor problems and worries of their friends and always seems to put others first, they could be enduring abuse. A sense that they are less than others or not worth worrying about is the behavior of a child who feels small or useless. This is a sign of abuse.

(Step 5) Look at the child when they think they are unobserved for signs of maladjustment. Wearing a mask and being happy all the time is exhausting for the abused child. When they are alone or feel they are alone, the mask may crack giving credence to fears of abuse. Don't expect to see this child cry.

(Step 6) Know that the severely or frequently abused child has learned to mask all true emotions as part of their survival. False bravado coupled with an inability to emotionally express themselves on anything but a surface level, may indicate that a child is being abused. A lack of or a saturation of empathy and sympathy should be noted.

(Step 7) Make a note of the child's response to normal appropriate touch. If a hand on a child's shoulder seems to send them into shivers, they may be the victim of severe child abuse. The abused child cannot distinguish between good touch and bad touch and their body reacts to both in the same manner.

Always report child abuse, even the suspicion of child abuse, as soon as possible. Waiting only makes things worse for the child.

Signs Of Sexual Abuse In Children

2009-04-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

Ask most parents what their worst nightmare besides the actual death of their child is, and the vast majority of their replies will be “someone abusing my baby.” By abuse, most will mean the sexual abuse of their child.

Childhood sexual abuse is not a rare occurrence. Most statistics state that one in three girls will be sexually abused before their twelfth birthday and one in five boys. Since a large portion of sexual abuse is never reported, the actual occurrence may be much higher than that.

Many people are under the misconception that sexual abuse only involves intercourse. This is NOT true. Sexual abuse can be touching, looking, forcing the child to touch or look at an adult and pornographic pictures or movies being taken or forced to watch. Other types of abuse include oral or anal sex and even sexually suggestive remarks.

So many times a survivor who tells of the abuse later in life will be criticized for not telling as a child when in actual fact they did tell. They just didn’t verbalize it or if they did, no one listened.

Behavioral changes are often one of the most common signs. These changes can include any or all of the following:

Sudden fear or refusal to spend time with someone the child is well acquainted with or even a relative of.

On the same note, a seemingly unreasonable fear or refusal to go to certain places.

Some children will runaway from home whereas others will turn to drugs or alcohol.

With many, eating disorders can be traced back to sexual abuse. Some will over eat to intentionally gain weight in the hopes they will no longer be attractive to their abuser. Others will feel they have no control over what happens to their body so they attempt to take control by means of bulimia or anorexia.

An honor roll student may suddenly drop in all subjects. A previously average student may become an over achiever to try and find some sense of self worth.

Nightmares are a common part of sexual abuse. Many times they will have a sexual connotation or have murderers that will never die no matter what is done to them.

Confusion and loss of time. Often a child will push the memory of the abuse away even as it is happening to them or they will disassociate themselves from the event. When this happens the child often has periods of time that they simply can’t account for.

Another way a child abuse victim may try to escape the emotional pain is through self-mutilation.

Others may feel that suicide is the only means of escaping the abuse.

Some will start lying or stealing where before they would never dream of it. Stealing can become an addictive high that enables the victim to forget briefly the abuse.

A sudden interest in sex or genitalia in young children. Compulsive sexual activity in older ones.

Pregnancy may be the first sign the victim is having any type of relationship. A twelve year old or younger girl with no boyfriend who is pregnant is not uncommon in any labor and delivery room.

Sexually transmitted diseases, repetitive yeast or urinary infections may also be a clue.

Sudden fear or refusal for medical exams.

A sudden self-consciousness of their bodies. Most four or five year olds don’t care who sees them naked but a victim of sexual abuse may hide from even their mother.

Fears of attics, closets and bathrooms. These are isolated areas where abuse can often take place uninterrupted.

Hiding underwear or clothes in odd places. Finding blood spots on them when the child is too young to be having a menstrual cycle.

Migraine headaches are not uncommon in abused children.

Artwork can often show signs of abuse. Excessive use of blacks and reds, pictures of violence or death.

Being caught abusing or attempting to get other children to perform sexual acts. Statistics show the majority of abusers were themselves abused as children. By no means does this justify the abuse of children but it does show the repetitive cycle of abuse.

These are just a few of the possible signs of sexual abuse. If you suspect your child is or was abused, get professional help immediately. Regardless of the circumstances, an adult is always to blame for the sexual abuse of a child. Ask the child and make it clear that you will not blame him or her in anyway if your suspicions are correct.

Dealing and trying to stop sexual abuse in a family without proper help is destined to fail. If abuse is happening to your child or to a child you know, contact the proper authorities and ask about crisis support help. Anyone who knows of the abuse of a child and does not report it is liable to arrest for neglect, aiding and abetting in the crime as well as a multitude of other possible charges. For a person who knows of abuse and does nothing, he or she is as guilty as the abuser himself.

Five Protective Factors Can Prevent Child Abuse

2009-04-17T05:59:00.000-07:00

I thought I’d share the five protective factors identified in Strengthening Families and Communities: 2009 Resource Guide, published by Child Welfare Information Gateway, a division of the US Department of Health and Human Services. These protective factors serve to help insulate kids and families against child abuse because parents have more resources and coping skills to deal with the stresses of everyday life.

1. Nurturing and attachment. Simply put, parents and kids need to be, and stay, connected. Parents need to protect and cherish their children. Kids need to feel loved and appreciated, and trust that their parents will take care of them.

2. Knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development. When parents have little understanding of how kids develop, they can’t provide effective parenting or discipline. Parents may expect too much from kids, and become frustrated when they are not able to meet these expectations.

3. Parental resilience. Parents need to be able to roll with the punches and handle their own problems without projecting their issues onto their children. They need to have effective problem solving skills and known when to ask for help.

4. Social connections. Let’s face it: everyone needs support. Kids can drive even the most patient of parents to the brink. A network of trusted family and friends is essential to help provide advice and assistance when needed.

5. Concrete supports for parents. A lack of access to resources necessary to meet basic physical needs can interfere with proper parenting. If parents must spend all of their time and energy worrying out about putting food on the table or finding medical insurance, that just adds more stress to the family.

Some families need extra support during this financial recession.I have added some contact numbers below for the U.S.A.

To contact Pathways, call 978-281-2400.

To contact Birth to Three, visit www.northshorepostpartumhelp.org or call the parental stress hotline at 1-800-632-8188.

U.K. contact numbers are across the page on my links.

Child Abuse Escalates as Parents Face Overwhelming Economic Stress

2009-04-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it’s an overwhelming sense of stress on the parents’ part. Sometimes it’s the overwhelming press of poverty. And sometimes it’s the overwhelming sense of hopelessness compounded by the absence of humility enough to ask for help. It doesn’t really matter what the overwhelming emotion, medical records are proving that, as adults are becoming more deeply engulfed by the ravages of the economic recession, the very youngest members of the family are paying dearly.

As the nation’s economy has plummeted, child abuse has escalated.

In Ohio, child abuse cases topped the 100,000 mark in 2007 and the numbers continue to rise. This localized Ohio rise bucks the national trend, which reveals a decline for that year. In 2006, 12.1% of all children in the United States were the victims of child abuse. On a national scale, that number dropped in 2007 to 10.6%, a ratio that seems small until the 71 million little lives it represents are considered. Unfortunately, as the recession lingers, the numbers are increasing everywhere.

At Boston’s Children’s Hospital, which typically treats 1,500 child abuse cases a year, 1,800 were treated in 2008, including:

A baby, only four months old, shaken so violently she needed brain surgery. Her mother worked but her father had been laid off. Some of the family’s utility services had been disconnected. When admitted to the children’s center for the second time in a month, she was unable to do little more than stare. Doctors performed surgery to remove the fluid that had built up dangerously around her brain. A few weeks earlier, she’d been treated for vomiting and similar neurological symptoms but doctors had no reason to suspect abuse at that time.
Another baby, just three weeks old, was treated for fractured ribs.
Poverty led the single mother of a 9-year diabetic boy to stop treatment when she could no longer afford the copayments for it.

According to Allison Scobie, program director for the hospital’s Child Protection Team, twice as many children have been treated so far this year for severe injuries inflicted by others than were treated in the first three months of last year. She reports similar situations in the metropolitan area, with many hospitals saying they’ve experienced a 20% to 30% rise in cases of suspected mistreatment of children.

The growing problem of child abuse isn’t limited to Boston and Ohio. In Illinois, child abuse cases rose by 5.8%, with a concentration in the Chicago area, where the increase in child abuse cases topped 9%.

Children’s Hospital and the Harborview Medical Center, both in Seattle, say they treated three times as many children in 2008 with subdural bleeding than the previous year. Subdural bleeding is caused by blows to the head or by excessive shaking, a condition frequently referred to as shaken baby syndrome. Dr. Kenneth Feldman says the “vast majority” of these abused children are members of families that are experiencing financial crisis. Feldman is medical director of the Seattle Children’s Hospital Children’s Protection Program.

In 2008, the medical university at Syracuse, New York, treated 19 children shaken or beaten so badly they required medical treatment; four of them died. Their average age was 7 months. Dr. Ann Botash, head of the Child Abuse Referral and Evaluation Program at the State University of New York-Syracuse, describes “a lot more stress” in society right now and it’s being passed along to the children in the form of physical violence or neglect.

The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke says it’s a baby’s head, large in relative size to its body, and its weak neck that makes him so vulnerable to shaken-baby syndrome. When shaken excessively, the child’s developmentally fragile brain bounces violently back and forth, where hitting the skull repeatedly causes bleeding, bruising, and swelling. Some symptoms of shaken-baby syndrome include hemorrhaging of the brain and retina and injuries to the neck, spine, and ribs. These injuries can lead to brain damage that is severe and permanent when the child lives but many babies die from such treatment.

It’s not just hospitals noticing this heartbreaking trend; of 607 sheriffs, chiefs of police, and district attorneys responding to a nationwide poll, 88% of them acknowledged an expectation of increased child abuse cases in their jurisdictions. This expectation is based on historical data from previous economic recessions.

Where child abuse is suspected, hospital authorities are almost always required to report the case to the local county’s district attorney’s office. In Suffolk County, Massachusetts, serving the city of Boston, 500 children were treated for injuries suggesting abuse last year. So far, that rate has risen 30% for 2009.

In cases of suspected child abuse, parents can be arrested and prosecuted for their violence or neglect. When parents are arrested, the children are frequently placed in foster care or in the care of relatives but, as public funds for such programs is dwindling as the economy does, the agencies overseeing these protective measures are becoming underfunded even as their case load is skyrocketing.

In Massachusetts alone, the Department of Children and Families is expecting a budget cut of $25 million for the 2010 fiscal year even as the number of children needing their services is on the rise.

Many thanks to Med Headlines for this excellent story.

http://medheadlines.com

Sexual Abuse : How Parents Can Help Prevent Their Child Being A Victim

2009-04-15T05:49:00.000-07:00

No parent can be on guard of his or her child every second of every day. Nor can the child be isolated from friends

, school, neighbors, bus drivers or life in general. A child can be taught what do and how to handle certain situations as well as ways to avoid possible trouble. The child can be taught and it is the parent’s responsibility to ensure that it gets done.

Child sexual abuse happens to children of all ages. Reports of infants as young as six months being raped to ten year old girls giving birth to their father’s babies are sadly not uncommon. For a parent to ensure their child has been properly educated, discussions on the subject should be started as early as twelve to eighteen months. These youngsters are like sponges at this age so teach them the proper names of their body parts.

When a child is about three years old, he or she can be taught about the private parts of the body as well as the right to say “no” to unwanted touch. A child who is constantly forced to kiss, hug or sit on the lap of someone they dislike often loses the feeling that his or her body is theirs. Often children will feel that if they must kiss or hug a person, they must also have to do other things as well. If a child asks questions about sex, give them straightforward answers. Don’t wrap them up in ambiguity or ignore the question because you decide it is too embarrassing to discuss.

By starting an open line of communication with your child at this age, you increase the chances of your child coming to you as problems come up later on. Besides this, incest and child abuse thrives on secrecy and fear. By a parent bringing the subject out into the open beforehand, the abuser has often lost his or her advantage against the child.

As your child gets older and starts going to other children’s homes and perhaps staying the night, it is time to discuss safety away from home. Your child should be well aware of the difference between good touch and bad touch. You should always ask about your child’s outing and encourage him or her to discuss any possibly scary experiences.

By twelve years old, boys and girls are often starting to pay attention to each other. Puberty has begun and the body changes that go along with it have begun. Children this age often feel they are immune to so many of the rules and regulations up to this point. They want to go “hang out” with their buddies or riding their bikes while being out of a parent’s actual sight. It is at this time personal safety and sexual conduct should be discussed. Many parents will shudder at the idea of their child even thinking about sexual conduct. Sit down and actually discuss sexual abuse and what it entails. Many children, if they think about it, believe old men forcing intercourse is all that sexual abuse is about. Make them aware of the facts even if you have to leave a pamphlet from their pediatrician’s office out to be read. Be sure they are aware the dangers of “strangers” on the Internet.

Past the age of twelve a child must be made aware of “date rapes”, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. As hard as it is to imagine, some girls will believe if they didn’t actually fall asleep with the boy, they couldn’t possibly be pregnant. At this time it is imperative that the lines of communication between the child and parent be open and uninhibited. If your child seems to want to discuss a matter but is having a rough time talking about it, be understanding and make sure he or she knows you are interested.

At all ages a parent should know where and with whom a child is spending time with. Also make sure your child is spending time with those of an equal age. Avoid letting him or her spend periods of time in out of the way places with much older children or other adults.

A school’s curriculum should include abuse prevention programs for both children and teachers. If the school does have a program and your child attends it, this will be an opportune time to discuss sexual abuse. If you were abused as a child, tell your son or daughter the details you are comfortable about sharing. By knowing you went through it, a child who is abused is much more likely to bring the subject up if it happens to them.

One of the most important things to remember is to give your child enough of your time so he or she won’t be needy for it from some other adult. The lonely child who is not listened to at home makes a perfect target for almost any pedophile.

Preventing child abuse is a community task

2009-04-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

Growing healthy, happy kids is not just about having healthy, happy kids today it's about support and love.

As we look for ways to ensure that children have the opportunity for success, communities must work together through both proven strategies and individual action to prevent child abuse and neglect.

For years, communities and agencies like ours focused almost entirely on interventions - responding to child abuse after it had already occurred. Those interventions are still critical. But, science now shows us we must employ prevention alongside those interventions if we are to create prosperous communities.

We are responding to an urgent call: A growing body of research proves that experiences in childhood build the architecture of a child's brain and lay the foundation for a child's future. Furthermore, the poisoning, toxic stress of abuse and neglect impairs this brain development causing lifelong health, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral problems.

The most comprehensive research to date, the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACES), was released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and private insurer Kaiser Permanente in 2005. The ACE Study links child abuse to short and long term consequences including a lack of achievement and behavioral problems in school; heart, lung and liver disease; obesity and diabetes; depression, anxiety disorders, and increased suicide attempts; increased criminal behaviors, illicit drug use and alcohol abuse; and increased promiscuity and unintended pregnancies.

So, when we prevent abuse, we are creating healthier children now, as well as creating a better community down the road – one with fewer incarcerations, instances of abusive behaviors, and unintended pregnancies; one with less heart disease, liver disease and obesity; and one with more caring, contributing adults.

Fortunately, science has also proven that child abuse is preventable. And, just as child abuse is a community problem, prevention is a community task.

In many ways, prevention is simple. It is as simple as creating a community that supports parents as they do their most difficult and most critical job. Prevention is as simple as creating family-friendly workplaces; formal and informal networks of support; places where all parents can build skills. It is as simple as reaching out to a parent you know with a kind word, a stress-reducing offer to help out or babysit; or an acknowledgement of the difficulty of the job at hand.

Our communities also have tools like family-strengthening programs that are proven to prevent abuse. We must work with parents to help them develop parenting skills, build networks of support, and create healthy, nurturing homes in which they will raise healthy, prepared children.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, the perfect time to make a community commitment to give all children a chance for a prosperous, successful future.

Our children are growing. How they grow is up to all of us. When you support children and families by reaching out, by advocating for family-strengthening programs in your community, and by helping spread awareness, you are ensuring that today's children are healthy and have the opportunity to lead our state and community to a great future.

Have A Happy Easter Holidays

2009-04-10T09:46:00.001-07:00

Many thanks to all my visitors who clicked on the advertisements on my blogs.It's helped to raise £50.00.
It will be donated to the NSPCC.

Have a Happy Easter and take care of yourselves.I will be away until Tuesday 14th April when the blog will be next updated.

Again Many Thanks
Ralph

Recognize Signs of an abused child

2009-04-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

With tragic hard news headlines and television stories, it's clear that child abuse is a national problem.Unfortunately many cases go unreported according to Dianne George, Designated Counselor for Children at Naval Submarine Base New London's Fleet and Family Service Center.

With April's designation as National Child Abuse Prevention Month, George is making a concerted effort to remind people of the forms of child abuse, their tell-tale signs, and the resources available to provide help to those in need.

George highlights that children everywhere can suffer not only from the often more obvious physical abuse, but also from the less obvious emotional and sexual abuse, and neglect.
Although it may not seem as harmful, emotional abuse can be much more damaging to children than any degree of physical abuse. Emotionally abused children may feel rejected, ignored, and belittled.

Children can also be emotionally scarred from being a witness to something disturbing.
"If a child witnesses domestic violence, it is a form of emotional abuse," says George.
Another very common form of child abuse - which some may not even realize is abuse - is neglect.

Neglect is the failure of a child's parents or caregivers to provide that child with the proper physical, emotional, medical, or educational needs. Children who are not provided with these necessities may develop emotional or behavioral problems that can stay with them later in life. George points out that while it is important to understand the different types of child abuse, it is even more vital to be able to recognize it.

The more obvious signs are those from physical abuse, such as bruises, usually on a child's arms or legs. Some less obvious signs, such as those that may reflect emotional abuse, are a child's cowering at physical touching, severe lack of self-confidence, and using derogatory language toward other children.

Child abuse can lead to many problems that not only impact the youth of the abused but also sometimes carry into adult life.

Abused children may have poor physical, mental, and emotional health, which can lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicide. Victims sometimes develop problems with their language and problem-solving skills, which in turn lead to problems in school. Moreover, abused children are more likely to become abusive toward their own children later in life.

Unreported and untreated, child abuse can result in a pattern of abuse and neglect that continues to the next generation, says George. "[Learned behaviors] can eventually come out in later years. Name-calling and using degrading comments toward a child, if done repeatedly, stay with them. The chances go up considerably because of the behavior that they have learned."
For George, a key to solving the problem is intervention; the abuse must be stopped from the source.

"The initial intervention is to get with their parents," says George. "That is where we have to stop it."

Parents or caregivers must recognize that when the challenges of parenting may be too much for them, they can seek help; anger management and parenting assistance programs are widely available.

Unfortunately, sometimes parents or caregivers must "get caught," for the abuse to end.
Family, friends, and those who interact with children must always be aware of the signs of abuse and the fact that all children, whether from a wealthy, traditional family, or from a poor, single-parent family, could be possible victims of abuse. Child abuse can take place in many different types of families, backgrounds, and ethnicities.

Victims of child abuse must not be afraid to seek help themselves. They should not fear being believed or the consequences of coming forward. Child abuse is not the child's fault, and the child is not in the wrong in trying to get help.

Whether through presentations at the Child Development Center, called "Hands are Not for Hitting," and specifically designed for younger children. or through programs at the SUBASE Youth Center for older children, the Fleet and Family Support Center is committed to making the public and children more aware of child abuse.

"[The programs] teach children to use their voices," says George.
For George the bottom line of April's designation as National Child Abuse Prevention Month is quite simple.

"It's crucial that children who are victims of abuse get the help they need," she says. "It's also important that the adults in their lives are there to help them."

Child Abuse Happens Everywhere, Even Here

2009-04-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Herald-Citizen Photo/Ty Kernea Marlene Massa,
foreground, and Danieal Hess each pin a blue ribbon up in
memory of one of the 2,158 child abuse and neglect cases
reported in Putnam County in 2008.

Greg Byram's parents were still teenagers when he was born, and while his father was away at school and work, his mother stayed home to party and see other men. One day Byram let slip his mother's actions, and his parents filed for divorce. His father got temporary custody. After that, when Byram went to stay with his mother and her boyfriend for a two-week visitation, he found only cruelty and hate there.

"They burned me with cigarettes all over my body. They punched me and they kicked me. I remember being relieved when they would leave me at home alone for hours," said Byram. "At 5 years old I had no idea why in the world this was happening. The next thing I knew, I felt excruciating pain on my right side. It felt like my skin was being ripped off my body. It was actually a pot of hot, boiling water, fresh off the stove which they had held me down and poured on me. The next thing I can recall, I woke up in a policeman's arms. (My parents) had taken me to the bus station in Indianapolis, wrapped up in a blanket, and put me in a corner in the women's bathroom."

Many people know child abuse happens in the United States, but they somehow imagine that it is not happening in their counties, cities and in their neighborhoods. In Putnam County alone, 2,158 cases of child abuse and/or neglect were reported in 2008. According to Byram, 50 percent more are not reported. That means that in Putnam County more children are abused than the number of students at Cookeville High School.

At the Blue Ribbon Child Abuse Prevention Memorial Ceremony held on the Putnam County Courthouse lawn this past Saturday, citizens gathered to hear Byram and others speak about child abuse and to dedicate a blue ribbon to one of the children affected by abuse. The blue ribbons will hang on the trees at the courthouse throughout April, which has been designated Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Abuse and neglect are associated with short- and long-term consequences that may include depression, difficulties forming relationships, low academic achievement, drug use, teen pregnancy and criminal behavior that affect not just the child and family but society as a whole.

Children younger than 1 year old account for nearly half of child abuse deaths reported each year and 85 percent are younger than 6 years old.

"When I'm working, I hear people say, 'I don't understand how anybody could do that (to a child),'" said Sheriff David Andrews, who was a child abuse investigator for 10 years. "I don't (understand) either. And I'm proud of it. Because when you can understand child abuse, you're capable of abusing a child, in my opinion.

"Anyone who knows any thing about child abuse or suspects -- you do not have to know -- call somebody. It's the law, it's the right thing to do and these children need your help to get out of these situations. They're children. They don't know how to get out of it. A lot of children who are abused do not know any different. They think it is a way of life. They think it is normal because no one has told them or shown them anything different. Don't wait, thinking someone else will call, somebody else will report it. That child's life is in danger."

To make a confidential report of abuse, call 1-877-237-0004 at any time.

Ten Ways to Help Prevent Child Abuse

2009-04-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

In recognition of Child Abuse Prevention Month, Wabash County’s All Our Kids (AOK) Early Childhood Networks and Prevent Child Abuse America, wish to share the following tips on ways that citizens can prevent child abuse on a daily basis.

Be a nurturing parent.

Children need to know that they are special, loved and capable of following their dreams.

Help a friend, neighbor or relative.

Being a parent isn’t easy. Offer to help take care of the children, so parents can rest or spend time together.

Help yourself.

When the big and little problems of your everyday life pile up to the point you feel overwhelmed and out of control, take time out. Don’t take it out on your kid.

If your baby cries...

It can be frustrating to hear your baby cry. Learn what to do if your baby won’t stop crying. Never shake a baby - shaking a child may result in severe injury or death.

Get involved.

Ask your community leaders, clergy, library and schools to develop services to meet the needs of healthy children and families.

Help to develop parenting resources at your local library.

Promote programs in school.

Teaching children, parents and teachers prevention strategies can help to keep children safe.

Monitor your child’s television and video viewing.

Watching violent films and TV programs can harm young children.

Volunteer at a local child abuse prevention program.

For information about volunteer opportunities, call 1-800-CHILDREN.

Report suspected abuse or neglect.

If you have reason to believe a child has been or may be harmed, call your local department of children and family services or you local police department.

Crosses Planted To Bring Awareness To Child Abuse

2009-04-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

In 2008, there were 14,858 confirmed cases of child abuse in Texas. That number is the reason a Garland group spent Sunday April 5th 2009 driving wooden crosses into the ground.

In 2007, 220 children died in Texas. Two-year-old Riley Ann Sawyers (pictured above with here murderous parents) was among that number. The toddler, who was found in a box that was dumped at Galveston Bay, became known as "Baby Grace" as news of her death spread.

"She died after a day of torture at the hands of her mother and stepfather," said Ruth Horrell, with Garland Family Outreach.

She was one of hundreds remembered by Garland Family Outreach and Bikers Against Child Abuse. The groups planted crosses with blue ribbons to bring awareness to child abuse.

"Every year it breaks my heart when I type up how some of these children died," Horrell said. "It's heartbreaking."

"It happens in every stratus of society," Horrell said.

Garland Family Outreach and Bikers Against Child Abuse said they hope solutions come along with awareness.

Billy Bally, with Bikers Against Child Abuse, has eight kids. Bally said he reaches out to neglected children as a friend and supporter in court.

"They're the most defenseless part of our society," he said. "They need a voice. They need not to be afraid."

Child Abuse and Hidden Spy Cams

2009-04-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Around 11,000 babies are born daily in the United States. Each and every one of them is at risk of child abuse. Lest you think that your child will not be one of them, remember that child abuse also happens outside the protective shelter of your home. It can happen in schools, in malls, in day care centers, in offices, and even in a venue as sacred as a church itself.

Child Abuse Defined

To make any allegations of child abuse stick, the age of the abused must be firmly established to be less than 18 years. Usually, the age is usually determined at the time of the commission of the crime, even if the abused is of age at the time of trial. If your hidden spy cams have dates features, then you can better establish date of commission of the crime and the exact age of the child.

That being said, child abuse is the commission of physical, sexual, and psychological maltreatment of a child by an adult. It is also the omission of acts to look after the welfare of a child. In both cases, the child is exposed to actual and possible physical and emotional harm.

Perpetrators (or Perverts)

Generally speaking, parents, nannies and babysitters, teachers, and anybody living and working around or with children can be child abusers. This is not to say that you must adopt a suspicious attitude towards everybody living and working around your child.

It is thus advisable to position hidden spy cams in areas where possible and suspected child abuse can happen in the home the child s bedroom, general living areas, and kitchen. Ask your lawyer for legal privacy issues first.

You can adopt a proactive approach to your child s protection in places outside the home, especially in school. You can inquire from the school administrator regarding the presence of hidden spy cams in strategic places. Often, the presence of spy cams deters malicious intent.

You have to ask, however, if these hidden spy cams do not intrude upon your child s privacy. Admittedly, balancing child protection and respect for child privacy can be a hard act, but the benefits will be well worth it.

Negative Effects

Victims of child abuse can emerge from the horrible experience either as better persons or as bitter individuals, depending on the help you can give them and their resilience.

Unless you talk to the victims themselves, you cannot differentiate victims from non victims simply because most of them do not exhibit outward behavioral signs. Small children simply do not have the language capacity to fully describe their experiences, while older children can be very reluctant about discussing them. This makes the installation of hidden spy cams more than necessary around your children.

Thus, the negative effects are usually emotional and psychological in nature. Usually, victims are prone to anxiety, depression, limbic irritability, and dissociation. Indeed, physical scars can be surgically removed and can fade, but emotional scars can be harder to detect and to treat.

Prevention Strategies

Aside from installing hidden spy cams to monitor your child, especially in the home, you can take many approaches to preventing child abuse. You can actively participate in community programs that seek child abuse prevention, ask your school to implement a skills based curriculum that will educate your children about child abuse and how they can avoid it, and allow yourself and your nannies a break from stress.

Indeed, child abuse is a horrible crime upon humanity. It takes each and every one of us to pour our talents and our souls into protecting the future of our species.

Buckcherry Gives 'Rescue Me' To Child Abuse PSA

2009-04-04T02:19:00.000-07:00

The book that inspired a pair of songs on Buckcherry's latest album has also led the rockers into activist work against child abuse.

The quintet has recorded a special public service announcement as part of its Rescue Me Campaign, which coincides with National Child Abuse Prevention Month in April. The spot, which features an acoustic version of "Rescue Me" from Buckcherry's latest album, "Black Butterfly," is available at the group's web site and is being distributed by ClearChannel Communication's www.iheratmusic.com. The PSA also promotes the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (www.childhelp.org, (800) 422-4453).

The full acoustic performance of "Rescue Me" is also available at www.buckcherry.com.
The group is also planning to play a fundraising concert to benefit Childhelp on May 15 at the Fillmore New York, with Pop Evil and Royal Bliss also on the bill. Tickets for the show go on sale Friday (April 3).

"Rescue Me" and another "Black Butterfly" track, "A Child Called It," were inspired by Dave Pelzer's book "A Child Called It," one of three young-readers memoirs he wrote about his experience with child abuse. "We were on vacation and my oldest daughter (then 13) was reading (the book)," Buckcherry frontman Josh Todd tells Billboard.com. "I was really, really inspired by this guy's perseverance to get through all that and have somewhat of a normal life. I just wanted to do the book justice and draw some attention to it."

Todd says Childhelp is "the best web site I've found as far as helping kids that have been through" abuse and adds that in addition to awareness he and his bandmates "just hope that maybe people will donate money and help the people who are helping out these kids...so they have a shot at a good life."

Buckcherry is currently on the road promoting "Black Butterfly," which debuted at No. 8 on the Billboard 200 in September. European dates with Papa Roach are slated for June, and Todd says the band plans to be on the road " 'til the end of the year, for sure, then we'll probably assess the situation at the time." He also adds that the group "has some songs in the works" but plans to focus on "Black Butterfly" for the time being.

"There's a lot of great songs on the record," Todd explains, "so we're going to spend a lot of time plying it out so everybody can grasp what's going on with it, just like we did with (2006's platinum) '15.' We have a lot of work ahead of us this year."

Boy's Abuse Not Known To His School Before Death

2009-04-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

Key personnel at Camden's Molina Elementary School did not know of a state agency's concern about child abuse in the family of Jamarr Cruz (pictured above) , a 9-year-old student who was fatally beaten in his home this week, the school's principal said Thursday.

The Division of Youth and Family Services intervened for about 10 months last year with Jamarr's family, including Vincent Williams, his mother's boyfriend.

Williams, who authorities say has confessed to killing Jamarr, prompted the DYFS involvement when he beat the boy with a belt in December 2007. Williams has told police he attacked Jamarr at least 20 times this year, according to the Camden County Prosecutor's Office.

"If they (DYFS) had known this was a problem, someone in the school district should have been advised," Molina principal John Donohue said Thursday at a viewing for the slain youth.

"I wasn't told," he said of DYFS' involvement, which ended in November 2008. "I talked to our school nurse (at the viewing) and she didn't know." Jamarr's teacher also was reported to be unaware of the DYFS activity.

Kate Bernyk, a DYFS spokeswoman, could not be reached Thursday evening. Earlier in the day, she declined to comment on whether anyone at Jamarr's school was notified.

But Bernyk said "schools are often part of the collateral contact while investigating claims of abuse."

About 17,000 reports of child abuse or neglect are made across the state each month. Experts say countless others are never reported.

"Sometimes people think, "I don't know what to do.' And there are people that believe, "That's not my business,' " said Carole O'Brien at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey.

Nationwide, 3 million abuse cases are reported each year, according to Childhelp, a nonprofit group. About three times as many cases go unreported, it said.

"It's just a tragedy whenever a child has to suffer and pay the ultimate price for an inability of its community to protect that child," O'Brien said.

The clearest signs of abuse are injuries like bruises, welts, burns or broken limbs, she said. Behavioral signs exist as well, she said, like children who are severely aggressive or withdrawn.

Abused children can also be apprehensive around adults or scared when other children cry. And another sign is when a child tries to avoid going home, O'Brien said.

Under state law, anyone who fails to report suspected abuse or neglect can face up to a $1,000 fine and six months in prison.

"If you have reason to believe a child is being abused or neglected, you are basically required to call the hotline," said Nancy Parello, a spokeswoman for the state's Office of the Child Advocate.

The DYFS 24-hour hotline is (877) NJ ABUSE.

Authorities allege Williams, 26, kicked and punched Jamarr in their East Camden apartment around 7 a.m. Monday, then denied him medical care. The boy ultimately was taken about 7 a.m. Tuesday to Cooper University Hospital in Camden, where he died a short time later.

Williams, now charged with murder, is being held on $1 million bail at Camden County Jail. He also is serving a three-year probationary term after pleading guilty to abuse and neglect in connection with the 2007 incident.

DYFS workers made monthly visits to Jamarr's family and oversaw that his mother and Williams completed counseling and parenting classes after the 2007 assault. As is standard practice, DYFS officials are conducting an internal investigation of the case, Bernyk said.

Officials have urged abuse victims to confide in someone in the wake of Jamarr's death.

"There are a lot of resources to meet the needs of the kids if they speak up to us," said Bart Leff, a spokesman for the Camden school district. He said school counselors notify DYFS if abuse is reported.

"The lesson to be learned is that, when any child has any problem, please, please tell someone," Robert McGee Sr. of Camden, Jamarr's grandfather, said at Thursday's service at May Funeral Home in Pennsauken.

A steady stream of mourners arrived at the funeral home, where many sobbed and cried out in grief.

"It's like a death wail," said Donohue, the school principal, as he described the scene inside the funeral home.

"You can't believe how small he looks in the casket."

Learn From Child Abuse Stories

2009-04-01T05:49:00.000-07:00

Most people are disgusted by child abuse stories. If you are a parent then chances are that tales of child abuse and neglect both sicken and terrify you, and they should. Just because you are a warm and loving parent who would rather die than dream of doing anything to harm your child, don’t assume your kid is safe from child abuse and neglect. Not all child abuse stories concern a minor being harmed at the hands of a parent, which is why you should be ultra cautious about who you allow to enter your child’s life.

I personally worry about the children of single mothers. I know that single mothers can make great parents. However, I’m still concerned about lonely single moms not being cautious enough about their boyfriends. If you are a single mother on the dating scene, be very careful about introducing your dates to your child.

Unfortunately some pedophiles deliberately target single mothers to get at their kids. Therefore if you are too hasty to introduce your child to the men that you meet, you could be putting him or her at risk. If you’re a single mother I advise extreme caution so that nobody ends up reading disturbing child abuse stories about your children.

The Pain Will Never Go Away

2009-03-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

I came across this moving poem about child abuse.I thought it needed posting.

The pain will never go away;
The wound will never heal.
The evil that was done to you
Is now your eyes, your heart.

The black will never turn to gray;
The blood will not congeal.
The violence is never through;
The past does not depart.

Time will merely make you whole,
Consuming what you are:
Part sufferer, part comforter,
Part victim, part new song;

Part mother of an angry soul,
Part child of despair,
Part witness and part conqueror
Of all that did you wrong.

Poem By Nicholas Gordon

Silent Victims Given A Voice

2009-03-29T06:44:00.000-07:00

Women whose partners sexually abuse children are usually invisible even to the agencies whose job it is to deal with abuse – police, social workers, therapists, and health service staff. Their needs are frequently dismissed or overlooked, and services for them are mostly non-existent.

This, together with public reactions, which often create guilt by association, only illustrates how little is known about such women. My book allows them to tell their stories in their own words. I interviewed seven women at length and met five others in a group. They are frequently victims.

The Partners for Protection programme (PfP), in Newcastle, is rare in working with these women. It is run jointly by Barnardo's Mosaic project and the sexual behaviour unit of the Newcastle, North Tyneside and Northumberland NHS mental health trust. Its groupwork course runs for six hours a day, one day a week for eight weeks. It assesses the capacity of women whose partners have offended to better protect their children.

Attending the course was a positive experience, even if some of the women were obliged to attend because of local authority concerns about their ability to protect their children. They ended up with a greater insight into what had happened to them as mothers and as people; they became more self-assured, more self-confident, better able to protect their children, more aware (or, in some cases, aware for the first time) of the stratagems of offenders, against which they now felt better able to be on their guard.

Four interviewees said that they were victims of child sexual abuse – for two of them it lasted into adulthood. This confirms research showing that a disproportionate number of mothers whose children have been abused are themselves abused as children.

Maybe not surprisingly, most of the women wanted as little to do with their former partners as possible. But one woman was living with the offender and two hoped to be reunited with their partners.

Women whose partners abuse experience self-doubt and self-recrimination. They will have had had to cope with conflict and confusing emotions, and the reactions of family, friends, neighbours and others. They have had to think deeply about the actions of someone they may have trusted and loved and what those actions now mean in that relationship. And they will have had to cope with the needs of their children, who may have been abused or who, if not direct victims themselves, will have suffered the consequences of their father or their mother's partner having abused another child.

Loss is a key emotion for such women: of trust, possibly of income and home and family, and also of her child, should it go into care. There can be loss of identity as a good and protective mother and (where the partner favoured the child over the woman) loss of her sense of attractiveness or femininity. Support from neighbours and friends, even from family, may drain away or become actively hostile. All of this may help create a sense of loss of purpose in life.

Knowing that there are others in the same situation is something that can help women and being able to meet with them and share their experiences can be a lifeline. It is one of the most important things that the PfP programme offers.

Child Abuse : Sad Times Ahead

2009-03-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

It's sad to see that child abuse is on the rise.Parents, guardians and family members are most likely to be the perpetrators.Abusing any person is wrong and we should not tolerate this.

But the most upsetting crime of all is child abuse.The child is defenceless against this, and cannot understand why someone who is supposed to show love is abusing them.The child is an easy target to the abuser and the crime carries on throught the child's live and even in some

circumstances into late teens and early adulthood.

The effects of abuse is devastating for any child and usually ends in death.Children are our future.We should treat them with love and affection, to lead them on the right path to adulthood. Seeing a child grow is a wonderful thing for any parent and we should savour every moment.

If you suspect any child of being abused,please report it to your local police.You never know you could save a little life.

The Effects Of Verbal Abuse In Children

2009-03-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

A child can be verbally abused in many ways. Children abusing each other with name calling etc. are common. But worse is verbal abuse by elders. Parents, relatives and teachers form part of this group in a child's life.

Many parents have set ideas about how a child should behave. If the child does not behave that away, the parents do not explain them the right way but make fun of them verbally. If such fun is made in presence of others the child's psyche is hurt. The hurt may look very innocent but that makes a child feel insecure about themselves. The children lose faith in their own abilities. They learn wrong methods of behavior.

I have seen some parents who verbally abuse their child in presence of the teacher. All the complaints they have about the child are made right in the presence of the teacher. This is a verbal thrashing. Somehow because the child cannot hit back, it is taken as granted by many adults that children can be verbally abused without hurting them. Adults feel good after verbally abusing them and feel that they know how to properly train a child. The facts are contrary. The child feels humiliated.

Whenever we talk to a child, we should put ourselves in their shoes and first think about how that will affect the child. Only after we are sure, we should speak to a child about sensitive issues. Verbally abusing a child is a crime in law, and also a bigger crime in the scheme of God.