Perspectives-Another Way To View

Viola Davis Struts The Red Carpet Au Naturel !

2012-02-26T21:45:00.009-06:00

I'm not a fan of "The Help", however, I respect the talents of Ms. Davis and props to her husband, Julius Tennon who encouraged her to drop the wig. His quote, according to his wife is.. 'If you want to wear it for your career, that's fine, but in your life wear your hair. Step into who you are!' Bravo to both of them for I'm sure the black blogosphere will have a lot to say about it and expect some cruel and disrespectful assessments of her appearance.

Mr. Tennon and the incomparable Maestro Barry White summed it up well. Enough said!

'I Love You Just The Way You Are'

T.V. FORUMS ON TABOO TOPICS: 'THE DOCTORS' & 'DR. OZ' COMPETE ON WHO CAN GROSS US OUT THE MOST.

2012-02-13T02:03:00.222-06:00

I've started this post with a focus on The Doctors and if you haven't seen this show lately, some of the topics have become quite explicit and at times, nauseating to say the least.

There are charts, animations, procedures on human beings and cadaverous body parts presented to really enhanced the importance of the subject matter. Each show has become more sensational and we're learning more than we need or want to know about the staff, three of whom still have private practices.

Actually, I believe Dr. Mehmet Oz started all this when he was initially featured on the Oprah Show. His over the top pronouncements and covered trays with a brain, intestines, heart and other internal organs became quite common. His ability to coerce Oprah into promoting his message that Americans need a lifestyle change became so popular that he got his own show . The bottom line is--if we don't want our organs to look like the ones he borrowed from the hospital morgue after autopsies and such; we need to make a change. I believe this is an aversive tactic and it may 'scare us straight' for a moment in time but over the long haul, it's usually ineffective.

In his exuberance, he's revealed way too much about bedroom behavior between spouses and partners and frames it in such a way that certain acts have been deemed okay by the medical establishment. I can't help but wonder about the aftermath when folks stand and ask very personal questions and for some reveal embarrassing quirks or health issues. When the excitement of the event and attention ceases..will the memories and feedback become albatrosses once they return home or to their social/familial/religious venues and places of employment? His show and that of 'The Doctors' compete on how they can become more sensational in their presentations on bedroom behaviors and obesity. The latter I will visit later. There was one particular Dr. Oz Show discussion on anal sex, vaginal noises and odor issues and frankly it was too much information. What happened to the private consultations with your doctor or health professional to address these issues. On some of the shows they will warn adults to remove their children because of content, however, that is about 5-10 seconds and many of us know what it's like to get children out of a room and it certainly doesn't happen within that time frame. This is rather disingenuous--in my opinion, however, ratings rule!

"The Doctors' will discuss the hazards of obesity or being overweight and it's just about every show that one is ridiculed and lambasted for being so. There are willing participants in the audience who will cry and go along with the 'public flagellation', however, I see a disturbing public trend of harassment of overweight folks. It's become acceptable because the medical establishment has declared war on 'obesity' in all its various stages and by doing so has also declared war on their humanity. That I find objectionable. I haven't seen Jillian Michaels of late on their show and I hope she doesn't return. Many viewers believed her comments were obnoxious at times and very hurtful and may work on shows like "The Biggest Loser" but they don't belong in medical forums. Dr. Oz is a co-conspirator and some of the remarks directed at the people on stage is rather stunning and then attempts to put salve on the wound comes off as rather messy. In some therapeutic circles it's labeled the "kick-stroke" approach. You reveal a hurtful fact or behavior that is causing the dysfunction and follow-up with a behavior or characteristic that is life affirming and admirable about that individual.

I trust that this doesn't come off as prudish to some, however, when medicine collides with marketing and ratings--the results aren't always helpful or healthy. What is insidious about some of these programs is that their solutions and helpful information for some of our physical/medical problems aren't always cost efficient or realistic especially for the average American. It doesn't hurt their private practices as well!

Disclaimer: These are my views and my views alone. Most public medical forums can and do serve a purpose, however, some of the presentations and how they are marketed at times can sabotage the best intentions.

THEY ARE LEAVING US TOO SOON: WHITNEY HOUSTON ~ AUGUST 9, 1963 - FEBRUARY 11, 2012

2012-02-12T00:59:00.006-06:00

Why pay homage to drug addicts? This statement was so often made or implied when reading the comment section of the articles about Whitney Houston's death. I must say that I was so surprised by my woeful response. This is a woman--I don't know personally, however, she and other celebrities and talented folks of her caliber are introduced into our domiciles, social venues via t.v., Cd(s), tapes, live performances and albums which gives you a sense of connection. I can remember significant events in my life when a song by Ms. Houston provided some comfort and joy. Today--I can play those lilts and the memories come alive. I'm sure I'm not alone in this and whenever or wherever she sang pop tunes or gospel favorites there was a kinship formed with her fans and some of the viewing public. There is a quote by an unknown author who states "music is what feelings sound like" and she made us feel so much and we appreciated her for it. Why couldn't we feel all this as she was declining and trying to re-engage with the public? Why were we so hard in our assessments of her? Was it the news coverage, that reality show debacle and the public displays of her declining health and once talented voice? This accomplished and beautiful woman who made us proud for so many years had disappointed us and made us feel ashamed for her. Addiction is a devastating disease that turns beauty into ugliness, genius into mental instability and friends/family into foes.

My response to the lead comment of this post is that I'm not paying homage to an addict but a wonderfully talented woman who fell victim to drugs and the lifestyle that accompanies it. There was some hope that things were getting better for her. She had a daughter, Bobbi Kristina, mother, extended family and close friends who loved her and were praying for her recovery and success in maintaining sobriety. My thoughts are with them for with all her peaks and valleys--she was Whitney, a daughter, mother, niece and she was family.

When I stated that they are leaving us too soon, I also had in mind Phyllis Hyman, Vesta Williams, Luther, the Levert brothers,Teena Marie, Lynn Collins, Luther Ingram, George Howard and the list goes on. The manner in which they transitioned either as a result of accidents, illness or drug related events is significant to a point. It becomes irrelevant as well for their genius and the good times we had as a result of their amazing talents overshadows how they left us. We will mourn and continue to enjoy their musical legacies for I personally have two playlists of Whitney's recordings and that is indeed a gift.

Peace and blessings to her family and close friends for their loss is more profound in many ways and for her fans...let's celebrate her life and the gift of song she left us. For those who believe in prayer--pray that there is peace for her now that she's crossed that 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters'.

I'm sad ya'll...it's like how I felt when Luther left us!

IS THERE A NEED FOR BLACK HISTORY MONTH ??

2012-02-01T00:05:00.060-06:00

Image Credit: janicehuse

Photo Credit: wfphistory

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Courtesy: BayView

Ahh...February is upon us and again I must ask myself ....is this really necessary and why just a month and the shortest one at that? There are pros and cons expressed by many on the benefits of celebrating the achievements of black people in this country. It's been written that it serves the purpose of informing the general public that we aren't deadbeats and under the most trying circumstances black people have contributed significantly to the growth of America. Free labor notwithstanding, but also in the fields of science, agriculture, technology, education and the arts. A counterpoint expressed is that it separates us from mainstream society and that we are citizens and it should be a part of American history. I'm a baby boomer and very little about black people other than a paragraph or two on slavery and George Washington Carver were a part of history books during the 50's and 60's. Most recent history textbooks are lacking with questionable information as well. It's also been my understanding that there is a new twist to the revisionist movement afoot that diminishes the horrifying and contradictory aspects of this country's history in ways that are astounding and disingenuous.

There are some news outlets in the black community that use this month to feature up and coming 'movers' and 'shakers' which for many redirects the focus on the now and the future talents of black folks. They understand the past and how significant the contributions have been and in most cases ignored or diminished, yet, choose to mainly concentrate on what members of our community are doing now.

I've chosen for this post to look back for I truly believe that if we don't learn from history we keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Given the current climate in this country, I can't help but wonder if we are undergoing another reconstruction crisis. Briefly, for those who haven't heard of the Reconstruction Period in this country after the civil war; it was a time when blacks were elected to office and experiencing freedom in ways that were astounding. The southern whites became threatened and enraged over this development and began terrorizing people of color. Lynching innocent black folks, taking away their voting rights through intimidation/murder and segregation laws were among many oppressive tactics at that time. These practices continued until the civil rights movement of the 50's and 60's were effectively dramatized on the world stage despite earlier incidents of blacks attempting to become first class citizens. The election of Barack Obama as President has again from my point of view stirred those forces of xenophobia, hate and anxiety over the diminishment of white supremacy. Code phrases like 'taking our country back' are framed within a distorted view of our Constitution and Bill of Rights. This President has had to withstand a substantive amount of disrespect and openly racist remarks during the primaries and after his election. There has been a dramatic increase in hate groups and their ideologues have permeated mainstream society.

I try to imagine what it must have been like for Nat Turner and many other slavery opponents, e.g., Denmark Vesey and Charles Deslondes meeting in the woods to plot how they were going to gain their freedom. Harriett Tubman who with great courage and fortitude led groups of slaves to the north and on one occasion had indicated that "I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves". I can think of a few modern day folks who remind me of the latter...but I digress. That meeting at Harper's Ferry between Frederick Douglas and John Brown debating the merits of armed conflict is so fascinating to me. Oh if there was such a thing as time travel...it would be breathtaking just to sit on a stump nearby and listen to the dialogue between these great freedom warriors. The former died of old age and the other a broken man who was hanged--for you see..he didn't consider that slavery not only shackles the body but the mind as well. As a woman it would be an honor to have known Ida B. Wells. Fierce, unrelenting, unafraid in tackling the most egregious events that the government avoided addressing for an extended period--lynchings!

In many ways, I think she was an unsung heroine. There have been books written about her that I've read, yet, the sacrifices she made during so many facets of her life to stop this obscene practice stretches the realm of probability. Imagine, just how thrilling it must have been to have sat in the audience May 8, 1909 listening to her speech 'This Awful Slaughter' at the NAACP's first annual conference in Atlanta, Georgia. She and the others helped pave a way when there were very few mechanisms to do so and added substance to hope and faith.

My response to the question at hand is a resounding YES. A more effective use of venues to disseminate information is required and less on shallow displays such as company cafeterias serving soul food to commemorate the month. We need it more now than ever and wherever the opportunity arises to counterpoint revisionism and to remind the world that lest we forget...the chances that we will repeat become 10-fold.

Links:

http://www.ehow.com/info_7930923_revisionist-history-high-school-textbooks.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-b-keegan/revisionist-history-the-f_b_1213242.html

http://www.thegrio.com/black-history/why-revisionism-reminds-us-of-black-history-months necessity.php

http://splcenter.org/what-we-do

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/till/peopleevents/e_lynch.html

http://www.blackpast.org/?q=1909-ida-b-wells-awful-slaughter

FAMILIES OF THE MISSING ARE 'HOLDING ON!'

2012-01-26T18:30:00.011-06:00

This is a brief commentary on the merits of exposing via print and finally televising missing African-Americans and other minorities in this country (see above trailer) on a consistent basis. For months now, I've featured The Black and Missing Foundation link on my sidebar whose mission is 'to provide an equal opportunity for ALL missing.' This is a non-profit organization which has about the most informative website that I've viewed with photos and a synopsis of the missing across the nation and the format is user friendly. They feature closed cases and provide updates of those cases that have been solved.

It's no secret that the mainstream media is quite selective in how they determine those cases worthy of exposure and it's also quite evident that those who look like an Elizabeth Smart or a Caylee Anthony are recognized more than a 'LaShonda' or a 'DeMarcus.' With that said, in all fairness, Nancy Grace's program has featured in the past--some children and adults of color. The gravity of the situation, however, requires expanded coverage and viewership.

Photo Credit: 2012 Getty Images

In steps--S. Epatha Merkerson, host of TV One's 'Find Our Missing', a weekly series with enactments and the story behind the missing persons featured for that episode. What will be shocking for many viewers is this pattern of lackadaisical responses by local police when these cases are reported. The small window of time that we hear about constantly-- is very important in missing person cases and is virtually ignored by many precincts. As a consequence, an exceptional number of missing person cases in many of our communities are closed. This fact and other exclusionary tactics by mainstream media became painfully clear when 'The View' had Chris Cuomo and S. Epatha Merkerson on to discuss this issue and the program she's hosting.

This is overdue, yet, it's here and it behooves all of us to watch and support this effort to pick up the slack on reporting and becoming more conscientious about the missing and their families. I was quite taken at the end of one segment when Ayanna Patterson the mother of Alexis Patterson, age 7 who went missing in 2002 hugged Ms. Merkerson after she spoke of the anguish over the circumstances of her daughter's unsolved case . The manner of her embrace reminded me of the spirit and meaning of 'Holding On.' At last, Mrs. Patterson and other families of the missing are being heard and their resolve to not give up and to hold on until they've had some resolution has warranted wide scale recognition.

Relationships And The Aging Process

2012-01-23T14:28:00.000-06:00

In my "hiatus" post of 8/20/11, I briefly touched on aging citing a poem--There Is A Girl Inside by one of my favorite poets, Lucille Clifton. This sense of a waning persona and not being noticed nor heard are addressed from time to time by poets and writers. When the subject of aging surfaces--baby boomers (my group) comes to mind and for the most part they have lived up to that verse by Dylan Thomas.

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Ms. Clifton also makes that point quite clear as follows.
She is a green tree in a forest of kindling. She is a green girl in a used poet. She has waited patiently as a nun for the second coming; when she can break through gray hairs into blossom.

Many of us find that although there are varying physical and cognitive changes; the spirit and emotional aspects of our lives remain youthful and very much in the present. Memories especially the happy ones serve to reinforce the latter.

I find that the above images displayed out of context could mean so many things to the reader. A beaming senior couple snuggling. The very attractive older woman with a pleasant smile may be a career person with an active lifestyle and folks who love and care about her. A handsome gent thinking of something/someone in a prayerful mode or just giving thanks for a relatively contented life. These are the more positive scenarios and are realities for quite a few senior citizens, however, there is another side that I'd like to address as well. The adage--aging is not for the faint of heart; rings true for many of us. We come up with humorous self-denigrating witticisms about the process, yet, it can become disconcerting and for many a very lonely experience.

I would say for the past year or so I've been thinking quite a bit about seniors and their varied relationships. In my practice, I've noticed a number of them presenting with relationship issues either as a single person or within a marriage or as a member of the divorced or widowed group. What has surprised me more is the loneliness expressed in all four of the above scenarios. The quality of a relationship is more to the point rather than just having someone in your life. It's been written that some of the loneliest people are the ones in long term marriages or relationships which should give the others pause when they express the need to just have someone or anyone in their life.

Those single occupied homes, apartments, assisted living arrangements and basements or attachments to their offspring's home may not be as unfortunate as one may think. Les Brown, a motivational speaker told his audience at one gathering that people stay in toxic or emotionally distant relationships due to their fear of dying alone. He advised that there is one person per box which elicited a nervous laughter from the audience. To take that a step further, death is the final curtain, however, it's the process of dying that folks find frightening and the need for TLC until the end. This is a driving dynamic with tentacles that trap the heart and the soul. We must try to understand it and find better solutions to neutralize it or make it of little or no consequence.

There are numerous articles, senior citizen groups, religious organizations and professionals who assert that one can age gracefully and their options/solutions are encouraged. The downside of this approach is that those who are compromised by happenstance of varied proportions begin to sink more into depression/anxiety if those options seem unattainable. What they see and experience is someone who moves slower, forgets more often,becomes more obsessed with personal hygiene issues or lack thereof and interprets harmless or elusive glances as an assessment of their appearance and worth. The low end of the paranoia continuum...maybe...yet,the larger society does not celebrate the aging process at all. This alone has given rise to a number of women and a few men who walk around with these facial affects that are stunning and probably lend to the elusive glances or eye avoidance they dread.

However, those of us who are in late fall or early winter of our lives must recognize that we age differently and some are more "successful" at it than others. Most of my links are geared towards the latter. For those who become reclusive as a means of coping with some of the more unpleasant aspects of the aging process; take heart. It's not the end and it's not too late to try and engage more. You must use the memories of your vibrant and more "productive" years as stepping blocks to another level of existence. The baby boomers have re-energized many senior citizen clubs or organizations. The Gray Panthers and AARP are just a few of many who are on the case--offering a number of options as well as advocacy tracts.

Remember that the quality of future relationships is more important than just having someone share a space with you; the key is to begin the process. The vocalist extraordinaire, Randy Crawford got it right when she expressed in her mellifluous voice that it only takes "One Hello".

Links:
http://kathmanduk2.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/international-day-of-older-persons-october-1-2011/
http://blackdoctor.org/news/article/Healthy_Seniors/4_Ways_To_Feel_Sexy_At_Any_Age.aspx
http://seniorliving.about.com/od/sexromance/u/relationships.htm
http://www.caring.com/articles/memory-worries
http://www.caring.com/articles/aging-secrets

THE REPUBLICANS HAVE ANOTHER BONE TO PICK WITH THE PRESIDENT: KEYSTONE XL PIPELINE.

2012-01-18T21:26:00.014-06:00

Photo Credit: AFP/Getty Images

The President has taken another stand in opposition to the party of "no". I must say I'm quite impressed with his decision to reject the construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline from Canada to the refineries in Texas.There are definitely serious concerns that will override the overly optimistic projected 20,000 new jobs the completion of this pipeline will afford Americans. Of late,I must say,his usual conciliatory stances or for some capitulation on some of the issues that progressives championed have turned 180°.

Photo Credit: Andrew Harris-Getty Images

I might also add that the majority of those jobs will be temporary and the workers will no longer be needed once the two year project is completed.  This "toxic sludge" will travel through many states crossing at least 70 rivers/streams. Nebraska is definitely against it for a contamination of the Ogallala Aquifer which provides water to a substantial area of that state would be catastrophic. It has been reported that the existing pipeline has had approximately 12 leakages in just one year of operation. I've provided links to the pros and cons of the pipeline and you have reputable agencies and scientists who have grave concerns about completing this project. I will of course, leave it up to the reader to decide how much of a risk we should take for the temporary provision of jobs. We all remember those oil spills in the gulf region and I believe a mishap associated with this pipeline can be devastating with implications for future generations that are daunting.  For now the President is putting a halt to it but expect the Republicans to use this as a political sledgehammer to score points and stoke the resolve of those who want to make him a one-termer.

I began this post praising the President for "standing up" to his detractors and opponents in a substantive way re: the pipeline, however, he's been fearless in other areas that are of critical concern to the middle class and poor. He's taking a no nonsense approach to fixing our economy and reducing unemployment despite a recalcitrant Republican base and congress.  There will be no cuts on spending without an increase in taxes on the wealthy and corporations and he's going to use his ace in the hole (if necessary) which is the power to veto.  Social Security cuts, changing medicare eligibility from 65 to 67 are off the table. He's also, pushing equity with the tax code which will allow the wealthy to share the nation's tax burden.  

There are many other achievements of this administration which are unheralded, yet, listed on many blog sites. One in particular is Jack & Jill Politics. They published a 4 part exhaustive series on President Obama's 244 Accomplishments. I recommend that you read it when you get a chance. 

Many of us and I'm included in this saw what we wanted to see and had expectations that may not have been realistic, however, I will continue to support this President. The critical nature of the office has aged many who have taken on this task. When they are candidates--their proposals and goals are so idealistic and many are challenged in a myriad of ways once they've move into the White House. The dynamics of privileged information unavailable to them as candidates on a domestic and global scale are revealed as well as the issues they ran on. The true character, intelligence and resolve of the individual are tested for the next 4 or 8 years. Some political and policy missteps not withstanding; I think his overall performance has been above average in spite of the continual opposition and excruciating problems he's faced since taking office.

Links:
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-pipeline-transport.htm
http://blog.zintro.com/2012/01/16/keystone-xl-pipeline-pros-and-cons/
http://www.loe.org/shows/segments.html?programID=11-P13-00023&segmentID=4
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/jan/05/keystone-xl-pipeline-oil-chief-obama

DR. M. L. KING : JANUARY 15, 1929 - APRIL 4, 1968. THE MAN...THE MYTH

2012-01-14T01:45:00.009-06:00

"The odd thing about assassins, Dr. King, is that they think they've killed you." - Mohandas K Gandhi

The above quote was from a comic published in the Chicago Sun Times shortly after Dr. King's assassination in 1968 and it featured a drawing of Mohandas K. Gandhi extending his hand out in a conversation with the slain leader. Before Gandhi's death he was living in a village quietly and was killed by an extremist which catapulted him into the ages and made him an icon with a philosophy that has influenced great thinkers since his assassination in 1948. One of those thinkers was Dr. King.

Although, this was an imagined event by the writer; how prophetic the message was for we have been celebrating the life and legacy of Dr. King on a national level since 1986. It was signed into law by President Reagan in 1983 and actually all the states came on board by the year 2000. Local celebrations and commemorations, however, began for this courageous leader on an annual basis after his death which eventually led to the holiday . The latter, was the result of exceptional advocacy and lobbying by his wife and supporters. We've just recently, witnessed the dedication of the MLK monument in Washington, D.C. and of course there was controversy centered around that event. There were words that were omitted on his memorial which infuriated a few and the feeling that given his legacy; he would not have wanted that money spent on any monument of his likeness. He would have preferred that it be used to help the poor and marginalized groups which was his goal before he was struck down. Many remember the poor people's march and tent city in D.C..

A memory that I have of the day Dr. King was assassinated remains as vivid in my mind as it did in 1968. I was in college and at that time was beginning to become more revolutionary in my thinking about the civil rights movement. Dr. King's last days were difficult and challenging for he was castigated by his comrades and followers for his stand against the war and many who marched with him were no longer willing to turn the other cheek. My mother called and was crying and stated towards the end of the conversation that I probably didn't care about his death because I had become so "militant". I tried to explain that I loved Dr. King but the fact that the power brokers could not accept and respect a man of peace meant possibly there were other paths worthy of consideration.

She wasn't hearing it and hung up stating that she and my father had a march to participate in the next day. My mother and father..the most apolitical people I know were so moved to march. Wow...the invisible and some would say sleeping masses were awakening as a result of his death. Little did she know that I wept along with the others as we sat in the lounge viewing the news footage of Dr. King's mountaintop speech the night before his death.

It was a pivotal point in my life and although Dr. King is associated with civil rights; I truly believed (at that time) he had graduated from the domestic stage to the global theater and he recognized that the struggle was actually human rights. Vietnam Nam and other hot spots in the world fed that realization for him and upon that epiphany; he went the way of many freedom fighters. He was silenced for a moment. His message, however, rings true today as it did in the 60's.
There are a number of quotes by Dr. King but these three support my basic viewpoint about him. I humbly write this tribute to a freedom fighter who so desperately wanted peace and harmony for all of humanity.

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."

"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be... The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists."

Before I close this piece, it was believed by some during the late 60's that Dr. King was so enamored with integrating within the larger society that his self-esteem and how he viewed his ethnic group in comparison were compromised. It was further believed that his ability to relate to the nationalistic fervor of loving who you are was of minimal concern in the scheme of things. This video that I viewed, initially, on the The African American Pundit Blog puts that myth to rest.

Link:
http://www.blackcommentator.com/454/454_cover_vb_uplifting_mlk_legacy_rogers_share.html

RETIREMENT: JOY AND SADNESS

2012-01-10T03:52:00.005-06:00

As I ponder this phase of my life, the masks of tragedy and comedy come to mind. At this point, it's actually the most convenient and halfhearted attempt to describe my current predicament. My retirement!

Briefly, the origin of the comedy tragedy masks is traced back to the culture of the Greek theater and has held its own over the centuries. The concept of the duality of extreme emotions is just as relevant today as it was in ancient times. Can the twin faces of joy and sorrow co-exist or is it a continuum or both? After all, this theater...stage if you will...called life with all its drama, pitfalls, high points and good times; runs the gamut. The cast can be supportive, antagonistic or merely backdrops to the key actor(s) or actress(es). So far, you have the well wishers, the hmm.. folks and the ones that I'm feeling a close affinity to at this point. The one representative statement from the latter group that rings true to me and I quote..."so sad! so glad! so ambivalent!".

The actress on this stage is moi and frankly I'm puzzled by the duality of these extreme feelings about a perfectly common rite of passage for many of us. One that I've made recommendations about on a professional basis and as a friend or family member.

**There are types of retirement--early-forced-planned and miscellaneous stuff which means that it's none of our business. I'm sure there are emotional tags that accompany them, yet, as one whom for the most part has a handle on these kind of things--it's been a daunting and revelatory experience. A process that I must endure or celebrate depending on my frame of mind at the time. I must reconcile all the facets and dynamics with the goal of a peaceful resolution to "life's third act".

I won't belabor this, however, in a future post, I'll revisit and let you know how well I've done with the dual masks of sorrow and joy which to me is an expression of ambivalence. The latter is one that we aren't comfortable with for somehow it represents a lack of cohesiveness towards a person, thing or event or within ourselves. It's a pull in opposite directions and the last thing we want interfering with our joy and happiness is sorrow or pain. Therefore, one of my other tasks for the "third act" is to decide how I choose to respond to what is causing that ambivalence for another aspect of my goal should be to transform those disparate pieces to a state of wholeness!

**Links:

http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=1533

http://www.retirementplannings.org/retirement-problems-baby-boomers-facing-475
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mellody-hobson/the-looming-retirement-cr_b_85390.html

HAVE A WONDERFUL AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR

2011-12-31T00:56:00.017-06:00

The year 2011 has been quite a challenging one for me as well as for a number of folks in these contiguous states and around the world. I think of the blogosphere and the various Facebook entries that entail stories of mayhem, isolation, illness, death, violence, the suffering of children, the elderly, the homeless and the recent arrivals of folks into the culture of poverty. Food bank personnel cite that many drive up in late model cars and exhibit some of the accoutrements that reflect an earlier time when they were employed and "self-sufficient". They avoid eye contact and whisper thank you as they take the boxes off the counter to their cars. They haven't yet adjusted and they're still learning survival mechanisms that many in our society have mastered over the years. There are also, many in this country who are doing well and those in the top tier are doing fabulously well. The beginning of one of the classics that I've enjoyed since middle school, A Tale of Two Cities, comes to mind and confirms that this paradox has been going on for eons and will more than likely exist as long as we do.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way.

With that said, we do persevere despite it all and many of us gather to celebrate all around the world. Times Square is always crowded on New Year's Eve and folks are happy for a period and hopeful. They kiss, hug, some get drunk, others dance more than they would normally, many attend Watch Service and yes some of us overindulge with our food intake.

There is one story and video that has been featured quite a bit in the blogosphere and various news outlets. It's a Love Story of grace, gratitude, compassion and speaks to that adage..it's not over until it's over. Chris Draft (former NFL star) and his wife Lakeasha who battled lung cancer were married a month before her death, December 27, 2011. It's poignant and I must say that I was deeply moved upon viewing it. Their story is worth the publicity they've received for it's a testimony to the valor and wonder of the human spirit and lends to that belief that love triumphs over all even death.

One may ask how does this tie in with the message of this post. I would say that during the "worst of times" whatever the scenario or human condition; we can love and celebrate life for the gift that it is.

I truly believe that this is how we should approach the New Year.

THE CELEBRATION OF KWANZA{A} NOW AND FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS!

2011-12-27T00:45:00.020-06:00

Photo Credit: Jeffrey Scott Thomas

Kwanza(a) public observances are waning for many reasons, e.g., confusion with Christmas celebration, disrespect and malice toward the creator of Nguzo Saba and the list goes on.

There are three links provided that make it clear why we shouldn't discard the Seven Principles (Nguzo Saba) and why if practiced daily; our communities would become more vibrant and less dependent on systems that promote dependency and the erosion of the family.

I won't be redundant, hence the links. Please visit these sites and the references that they provide to become more educated about this worthy cultural and spiritual rite.

Links:

http://nachalooman.wordpress.com/2011/12/26/kwanzaa-its-a-black-thang-but-some-want-no-parts-of-it/

http://electronicvillage.blogspot.com/2007/12/nguzo-saba-seven-principles.html

http://blacknouveauwoman.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/kwanza-2011-message-from-dr-karenga/

THE ORIGIN OF CHRISTMAS DOESN'T CONTRADICT GENERATIONS OF LOVE AND GOODWILL.

2011-12-20T01:06:00.029-06:00

I was reading an article by Veritas Curat in the Daily Kos on The Real Meaning of Christmas. It was lengthy and provided a wealth of information. Some of it I didn't know and some it I had read from other sources and frankly forgot about over the years.

Numerous sources as well as the writer of this article addressed the paganistic origins that became a part of the celebration with in-depth clarity. No one knows for sure when Jesus was born but as a political move and a means of converting others to Christianity , the Romans decided to celebrate the "True Nativity" on December 25th. The latter date was actually close to the timeline when the "heathens" would glorify the birthday of the Sun (Winter Solstice). The decorated tree, holly, festivals of lights, gift giving as well as other pagan rites became a part of what we celebrate now as Christmas. The middle and upper classes were responsible for the commercialization of the "holy-day" and it's been an ongoing struggle between the religious community and the capitalists over the "true meaning" of the holiday.

There was a time when I questioned trimming a tree, decorating the house and buying gifts, however, I've come to realize that they aren't distractions for many of us. The true meaning of Christmas reigns and it's manifested in outreach activities that entail providing food, lodging, clothing and a myriad of services for the "least of these" and those who have encountered unforeseen hardships.

With all that said; I believe that this "holy-day" represents the best of humanity and families who draw strength and purpose from celebrating love, goodwill and caring for others. For believers, it's foremost the celebration of the birth of a baby who came to redeem humankind with grace and salvation. His name is JESUS CHRIST!

HAVE A WONDERFUL, GRACIOUS AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2011-11-23T16:22:00.001-06:00

A QUOTE AND THOUGHTS WORTH REMEMBERING:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow".

~ Melody Beattie ~

These are troubling times and many are left with feelings of hopelessness, despair and frankly an attitude of skepticism on what this day means to millions of folks not only in this country but around the world. The haves vs the have-nots which is a common refrain on the nightly news and on many sites in cyberspace.

We have each other and there are caring folks who not only stock the food pantries on holidays such as this but during the year. They raise funds to help those who've been treated unfairly by happenstance and continue to advocate utilizing various venues for those of us who are unemployed, homeless and marginalized by the larger societies. Although for many there is very little to be thankful for; go deep within and find some gratitude for just being...gratitude for those who fight tirelessly for humanity...gratitude that yes things could be worse for many of us but we are still here and eking out a living for a better day. For those who are doing well or okay...let us not look in disdain and contempt toward those who have fallen on harder times.

The prayer of sharing should be in our hearts and thankfulness that you can make donations and assist those who have various needs in such a way that they can eventually do for themselves. In remembrance of this spirit; may your efforts become a part of who you are--not only during the holiday season but throughout the year. This is my Thanksgiving appeal!

Peace and love....
Carolyn Moon

The Assertions Of Dr. Elizabeth Warren : This Is Important "Stuff" To Know Folks!

2011-11-14T23:22:00.002-06:00

Dr. Warren is another town crier who knows what she's talking about with a researched and clearly articulated advocacy to assist millions of Americans who've been adversely affected by the current healthcare system. She speaks truth to power with an urgency for our future welfare as well which is a rarity these days. I've provided the above video and other links of her interviews and lectures for your convenience and knowledge base. We must understand what is going on before we can ask the pertinent questions as we push forward for fair and reasonable solutions to the imbalances of this country's healthcare maze.

Links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8jypW5pmXo&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThlYrfDu8do&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1BC9-VIqik&feature=related

The Importance of This Viral Success

2011-11-08T19:07:00.004-06:00

I was at the emending stage of a post regarding aging and relationships when I first viewed this most pleasant and heartwarming father daughter dance team. The implications and significance of how popular it became struck a chord for me especially in the area of group racial stereotypes. It also warranted a brief departure from the task at hand. It was a success on YouTube and a lot of the black blogs showcased it. As it were, when I awoke to Good Morning America and again viewed them in Times Square after a brief interview; I was struck by mainstream media wanting to share in the moment. As they reenacted their dance routine I noticed that it was also on the huge LED Video Billboard as well.

It occurred to me that we-- meaning black bloggers and the mainstream media tend to focus on the harsh realities and dysfunctional behaviors in some of our communities and when something like this comes along; it's seen as the exception by most. I recognize that when you have so many exceptions and anecdotal experiences to the contrary; it is no longer an anomaly or exception to the rule.

There is a need for us to showcase more of what is wonderful and great about black people.... especially in some quarters. It is stunning to me; how our resilience and determination as a group under the most harsh and oppressive circumstances continues despite the barriers and ongoing challenges we face. I wrote a post on colorism and featured Dr. Na'im Akbar (July 20, 2011), a black psychologist whom I read and studied for many years and utilized his unique psychological perspective when it came to people of color in this country. He made it clear that despite the efforts to make us as group feel less than...we have this ability to not only survive but persevere and for many do quite well. There are many casualties but he recognizes that our ability to love ourselves is tantamount to how far we've come. We have a distance to go but it's an amazing feat.

Some-- I'm sure will think that my observations regarding this father daughter wedding reception dance are overstated. However, what I saw and have seen on many occasions is that strong bond between daughters and fathers in our community and that so many of our fathers are loving and care for their children and families. When that is portrayed in the black blogosphere and mainstream media--it is a good thing for we've been deluged with the absent father syndrome and family dysfunction as a "black thing". The above video says to the world that what you see here is also a "black thing". We need to love ourselves more. There have been a few entries to this effect on some of the blogs. With all that said what we need is balance so we can view these events without that stale tape of exceptionalism running in our heads.

Dawn Spencer's Testimony AugMe Foundation

2011-10-28T15:11:00.005-05:00

This is a reposting of last year's observation of Breast Cancer Month. The fight continues with the efforts of those who contribute to the cause and research this deadly disease. It is reassuring that significant advances continue to emerge in treating it, which should embolden all of us. "Survivors" or those who are "living with the disease", however you want to frame it have increased in numbers over the years. As a survivor I can't stress enough the importance of self-exams and mammograms. Early detection is the key and those who have the most deadly tumors under the umbrella of breast cancer would benefit the most.

It's that time of year again. It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month with all the commercials, ads and product endorsements with that pink bow of hope, and substantial checks written for this worthy cause. I posted an entry on October, 2009 entitled "A Global Fight for our Lives" in which I featured not only domestic efforts to get women galvanized to take charge of their health, but also women around the world; especially those of color. Statistics still bear out that we are most likely to die from the disease due to advanced diagnosis of the illness when tested or we suffer from those rare aggressive forms, e.g., triple negative breast cancer.

In that post I also focused on Dawn Spencer, a career woman who had been diagnosed and treated for one of the more aggressive forms of breast cancer. She was an inspiration to me because she founded AugMeFoundation. This organization provided breast prosthesis for those women who couldn't afford them or had to settle for the ones that weren't comfortable or sized to provide a proper fit. She was also a motivational speaker on how to live and not die with this deadly disease. The above video is just one of her speeches regarding the coping skills that are necessary in working through this illness.

The stats haven't changed that much from those cited in the 2009 entry, however, advances in this field continue and many of the devastating surgeries and miserable side effects of adjuvant therapies have diminished. Women who cannot benefit from reconstructive surgery or choose not to undergo the painful process of doing so have been helped by this organization. The latter has an advocacy role and lobbies for Medicaid and Medicare to provide services to help these women through the most trying of times. Self-image and esteem are battered and the support of loved ones and organizations to aid in the adjustment is crucial. She recognized this on a global level as well and worked with Dr. Lisa Newman, a Surgical Oncologist in providing services to The Komfo Anokye Teaching Hospital in Kumasi, Ghana. This is the main teaching and referral institution for the eastern and northern regions.

This picture of Dawn and her daughter resonates with me as I think of her final transition on February 23, 2010 as well as one of her quotes.."It's not about how much time you have, it's about what you do with it". Dawn, I agree with you and the legions of other women who've refuse to become a victim of this disease.

I've provided the following links to organizations that will assist you or a loved one as you struggle to make sense of this illness and hopefully decide to live fully and without restrictions.

Links:

http://www.sistersnetworkinc.org/

http://www.lbbc.org

http://www.tnbcfoundation.org

http://ww5.komen.org/

http://www.cancer.org

I Shall Return.... (♥♥)

2011-08-20T17:38:00.008-05:00

I'm taking that long sought after trip to a place of solitude and I plan to return refreshed late September and ready to again tackle those issues that are intriguing and challenging with more grace, courage and hopefully wisdom. As Labor Day approaches we must focus on what that holiday truly means. We are facing a very deliberate and calculating assault on the workers in this country and they are suffering. Their voices were first (prominently) heard in Wisconsin and now Ohio. As with most righteous movements; it will spread across the nation and as we fight for the workers let us not forget the poor and those who have not been treated well by happenstance.

One of my favorite poets, Lucille Clifton aptly describes my heart and mind as I cope with the realities of wanting to be heard and ageism especially in this society. By all means...I'm not ready for the nursing home, however, the signs of how brief this existence can be have become more apparent.

There Is A Girl Inside

There is a girl inside.
She is randy as a wolf.
She will not walk away and leave these bones
to an old woman.

She is a green tree in a forest of kindling.
She is a green girl in a used poet.

She has waited patient as a nun
for the second coming,
when she can break through gray hairs
into blossom

and her lovers will harvest
honey and thyme
and the woods will be wild
with the damn wonder of it.

~Lucille Clifton~ June 27, 1936 - February 13, 2010

IS GOD RESPONSIBLE FOR EVIL?

2011-08-15T23:12:00.005-05:00

I've thought about this topic off and on for many years. There were times that I found ways to justify why humankind with all the wonderful discoveries, great civilizations, medical breakthroughs and treatments not to mention great acts of kindness and charity is also capable of some of the most vile and evil behaviors toward themselves and others. Sometimes the latter is done in some perverted sense of following God's will or teachings expressed through the prophets and storytellers of the Old and New Testaments as well as those books that were left out of the canons. There are those who would say it's the result of turning away from God and the absence of a moral center. Which lends to my ambivalent feelings about the explanations of how evil became a part of the human experience. I was told by one religious leader that good and evil "flowed" from God. Then there is the Genesis version of "The Almighty" casting Lucifer and his followers out of heaven which I found troubling for there was a contradiction. If that was the case, humankind was caught in the middle of the battle of wills between the omniscient and those in a spiritual realm that humans can only speculate about. It didn't seem representative of a God that I was told who administered justice, love and amazing grace to the human family. The vengeful God of the Old Testament notwithstanding.

One of my favorite programs is PBS' Closer to the Truth with Dr. Robert L. Kuhn, a public intellectual, scholar, narrator and interviewer of the series. He takes on monumental challenges like issues related to God, the Cosmos, Consciousness and various philosophies and beliefs associated with them. He's dauntless in his pursuit to provide a balance by consulting various theologians and scholars on these subjects. He allots equal time as well for atheists and scientists and their varying viewpoints which is why I think he is audacious in every sense of the word. In some religious communities he's not viewed in a favorable light and is accused of distorting "the word of God" to suit his own philosophical beliefs. I've received e-mails admonishing "believers" not to view certain segments.

Which leads to the segment, Did God Create Evil?. He interviewed Nancey Murphy, a Professor of Christian Philosophy at Fuller Theological Seminary. What I found fascinating about this interview is
how she explained that God did not create evil, however, he set in motion forces that would allow that to happen with the premise that good would prevail. My thought is--why at the expense of mankind? Are tsunamis, earthquakes, famines, wars, oppression and the list could go on and on; the consequences for our stay on the planet? If God is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient--why not another model for the greater good. Surely the outcome is already known for...

The attribute of God by which God perfectly and eternally knows all things which can be known, past, present, and future. God knows how best to attain His desired ends.

Again, theologians and scholars are making quite a few assumptions about what God intended which takes hubris to a higher level. The outcome seems to be a myriad of explanations from different religious denominations and philosophical viewpoints about one of the many mysteries of life which is evil. There are other video interviews with various religious scholars and philosophers on the link I've provided and I would encourage the readers to check it out. To question these things aren't necessarily indicators of blasphemy, agnosticism or atheism but a way for many of us to resolve or better understand the paradoxes of good versus evil.

I am a believer in a higher power and as an individual will have to account for how I've lived my life. There are so many different explanations and interpretations of scripture especially as it pertains to why God either specifically introduced evil into the equation or "allowed" it to be a menace to humankind as a consequence of the creative process. An omniscient God would know that we would indeed prevail.

There is a hymn that was composed by Charles Tindley in 1905, We'll Understand It Better By and By that I heard growing up in the Baptist Church. It was sung with hope and optimism for a better day and I'm sure a way to cope with a hostile society at that time. I tried to make sense of it all as an adolescent for I wondered how long would "by and by" be. As a senior citizen I'm still open to the various explanations and documentations for the concept of evil. This journey is about growing and gaining knowledge and I will continue to do so with an inquiring mind until the final transition.

Links:
http://closertotruth.com/
http://www.beingjewish.com/faqs/conflict.html
http://goarticles.com/article/Islam-Good-vs-Evil/4450080/
http://www.allaboutworldview.org/good-vs-evil.htm

The Psychology of Colorism That Permeates The Diaspora

2011-07-20T02:34:00.008-05:00

   Dr. Na'im Akbar, a leading black psychologist addresses the issue of the psychology of colorism and self-destruction in the above video.  We see the well known study of black children preferring white dolls and their belief that being black means you are bad or not as good as those of lighter hues.  This particular study forces us to realize just how insidious the impact of white supremacy is and what it does to our young.      Dr. Akbar's fiery oratorical style at this gathering delivers the message with the urgency of the town crier.  He warns us of the  legacy of self-hate and low group esteem experienced by people of African descent in this country and throughout the diaspora.  Yet, somehow we've managed to forge on with each generation in spite of it.  This is the miracle he refers to in his talk.There is also an admonishment that while many of us continue to struggle and do well, there are many casualties that must not be ignored who suffer psychologically, socially, politically and economically within many of our communities.  The building of self esteem and worth in our children begins at home and is either challenged or enhanced by adults or our peers  in our schools, churches, civic organizations and media.  The sad and disturbing fact is that for many of our children, the first time they are told or feel inferior or "less than" is with their parents or relatives---the folks who look like them.                                                                   

I don't want to go on and on about the subject of colorism--but I will. My request at this point is to indulge my revisiting an article featured on Yahoo News some time ago by Dr. Neil Persadsingh , a leading Jamaican dermatologist, who wrote about the growing number of dark-skinned women opting to lighten their skin.

Briefly, he spoke of the devastating consequences of women in his country who are using home made bleaching concoctions to lighten their skin and for those who can afford it are buying creams with hydroquinones mixed with steroid cortisone. They feel that having lighter skin tones will increase their chances for advancement in jobs, educational opportunities and social connections. He cites unfortunate outcomes of hyperpigmentation, skin mutations, Cushing's syndrome and cancer risks for many of them. This practice is so widespread and insidious that he recounts an event in his office that was especially disturbing.

"I know of one woman who started to bleach her baby. She got very annoyed with me when I told her to stop immediately, and she left my office. I often wonder what became of that baby."

He further states that it's not just self esteem issues but the colonial past of this country and the fact that black was viewed as bad or evil. Every country that has a history of imperialism, colonialism and slavery by proponents of white supremacy continues to deal with these issues.

More are shedding light on this problem. Producer Bill Duke is trying to secure funding for his film titled "Dark Girls" which addresses this subject and hasn't had much success in public donations. I can't help but wonder why he hasn't spoken to the well-known black filmmakers to solicit their help. Who knows? He may have done that and there is a skittishness about the subject or it may have the makings of a flop, i.e. poor attendance by people of color. Many of us are in denial or hide behind the taboo of airing our "dirty linen" or frankly have become group weary and if it doesn't pertain to them as individuals--it's not a problem. I see more of that now and it's disconcerting.

Please view the trailer on "Dark Girls" and begin the dialogue in your homes and talk with your children when you hear them utter denigrating statements about darker skin hues. As adults watch what you say around our children. Stop the name calling. Remember our children are clean slates and what we say or how we say it becomes a part of who they are. We should have art in our homes depicting people of color with our wide spectrum of hues. I grew up in a neighborhood and in my own extended family where our hues varied and we didn't make distinctions based on that.

When we are reading those bedtime stories, get books that showcase our experiences as well as Dr. Seuss and Charlotte's Web. I used to read Children of the Sun and similar books with beautiful illustrations of black children and adults to my daughters when they were young. Lastly, adults should "call each other out" when denigrating remarks are made regarding skin color. It's hurtful with implications that stay with us and unfortunately are passed on to the next generation. This preview of Dark Girls makes that fact painfully clear.

Links:

http://www.blackwell-compass.com/subject/sociology/article_view?article_id=soco_tr_bpl078

http://nachalooman.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/at-what-cost-unnatural-white-beauty-black-woman/#comments

Black People and the Haunting Duplicity of July 4th

2011-07-02T18:43:00.012-05:00

Photo Credit

A passage from Frederick Douglass' speech on people of African descent celebrating the 4th of July.

What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sound of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants brass fronted impudence; your shout of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanks-givings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy -- a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour.

Danny Glover and James Earl Jones gave voice to the Frederick Douglass 4th Of July Speech.

When Frederick Douglass gave that memorable speech to America on securing full citizenship for people of African descent to have the full rights therein; where did black women stand at that time.

Where did women of all ethnic groups stand at that time. Certainly not full citizenship afforded to white males. Therefore, I think Sojourner Truth's speech rings true for womanhood with her emphasis on the double oppression that women of color had suffered at that time.

Certainly-- times have gotten better since then for black people and females, however, I hear a whisper and at times loud ramblings that would set women back to times when they had no control over their bodies or their lot in life.

"Ain't I A Woman" read by Alice Walker........

The struggle continues for the maintenance of rights won and the vigilance against more creative
forms of exclusion. The women of the late 19th century realized that as well as the black female leaders in the 21st who continue to carry on the struggle.

On a final note; Ronda Racha Penrice wrote an article in The Grio as to why Black Americans should celebrate the 4th and a brief passage follows:

"As with every war, including the ones currently being fought, African-Americans have served this nation nobly. So, when it comes to celebrating the Fourth of July, we have just as much right as any other American whose investment in this nation extends back to its very foundation".

She is not alone and the debate goes on and I'm sure people of all ethnic groups have their varying opinions on this issue. Is there a right or wrong as to the significance of July 4th to people of color? Their ancestors were chained and shackled and lived through Jim Crow and continue to deal with de facto as well as various forms of discrimination and bigotry. Is it about wars we as a people fought in and had to petition for the right to bear arms for freedom? This in the face of clearly fighting for the cause which excluded them. Some would say that it's about the principles of a democracy that should be inclusive and it transcends the practices and ideals of those in power who make exceptions. By the way, the mainstreaming of overt acts of racism and bigotry have become more prominent since Americans voted a man of color as their President in 2008. How is that for irony.

I would surmise, however, that it becomes another holiday for many to have family picnics/reunions/fireworks and a good time not really focusing on why we celebrate it nor its significance.

Links:

http://aunk.newsvine.com/_news/2009/07/05/2998820-the-meaning-of-the-4th-of-july-for-the-african-american
http://www.thegrio.com/black-history/why-the-4th-of-july-belongs-to-all-of-us.php?page=1
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/07/04/family-hosts-fourth-july-bash/

First Lady Michelle Obama Returns To The Homeland And Addresses Young African Women Leaders

2011-06-27T20:15:00.004-05:00

After viewing the First Lady's speech and the warm reception she received--my spirit was lifted. It's amazing if you really ponder the significance of her visit and the impact that it must have had on those in the audience to see the progeny of our ancestors return and speak to them in such an inspirational manner. What is truly amazing is that she returns as the wife of the President of the United States, Barack Obama, who has Kenyan roots.

There were also examples given of the young women leaders in the audience and their resolve to not only help themselves but to help others in the struggle for empowerment.
One of my favorite poets captures the essence of the First Lady's speech.

"WON'T YOU CELEBRATE WITH ME"

won't you celebrate with me
what i have shaped into
a kind of life? i had no model.
born in babylon
both nonwhite and woman
what did i see to be except myself?
i made it up
here on this bridge between
starshine and clay,
my one hand holding tight
my one hand; come celebrate
with me that everyday
something has tried to kill me
and has failed.

~Lucille Clifton~ June 27, 1936 - February 13, 2010

Father's Day Tribute To My Step Father: Paul Jeffries

2011-06-12T14:47:00.019-05:00

Father's Day is upon us with all the advertising associated with those special moments the day will bring. In fact so much so that I got my Sundays confused. So--I'm a little early with the tribute. With that said, my thoughts have been on step fathers in particular for sometimes they get a "bad rap". Just like the evil step mother, this particular group has had some bad press over the years. Some--deservedly so and others who don't get the praise afforded to them like the "real" ones. My step father is a member of the latter.

Mr. Paul Jeffries..I call him "Pop" and I call him love. He came into my life during early adolescence when a young precocious "colored" girl with a fierce, independent mother needed an intervention from a strong, principled man. There was some resistance at first. I wasn't too happy about running to my mother's side during the night after a nightmare or a thunderous storm and being turned away because of this "person" who now shared her bed. Time and unconditional love served us well and he was my pop for life. He was strict and at times compassionate when discipline/punishment weren't the best options.

I appreciate this song by Luther and although my father is still living--age compromises our ability to dance together again. However, I will always remember when we danced at my debutante ball sponsored by Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority. My Pop is from a working class background, highly intelligent and could handle a conversation with the best of them. We "showed out" in a sophisticated manner that night. ^◡^ You were magnificent Pop. Mama sat beaming as we were presented and walked down that excruciatingly long aisle. I truly felt like a princess that night..though. *sigh*

Our last phone conversation was rather difficult. He was refusing the benefits of a hearing aid at that time and I'm not sure of how much he heard. I was informed recently, that my sister finally convinced and accompanied him for a fitting. He's still complaining about it and will not wear it at times. Cards, gifts and letters are nice, but calling him is best. I will raise my pitch so he can hear how much I love him and appreciated his role in my becoming the accomplished woman I am today.

Happy Father's Day to the "Birth Dads" and to those who admirably took on that role and of course, that includes the Granddads and Uncles!!

The Oprah Mystique

2011-05-25T23:06:00.012-05:00

After viewing the last 3 shows of Oprah's farewell from network TV and completing 25 seasons of a show viewed not only by millions in the USA but globally; the concept phenomenon comes to mind. I've had ambivalent feelings about this "phenomenal woman" over the years and watched her many public moods, appearances and personal struggles. A reigning sense of wonder regarding her ability to be so forthright about her own "issues" and I must confess; at times had hoped that she wouldn't be so open. The latter has been the catalyst for the "haters" and those who take issue with some of her beliefs and practices that keep the rags in business. With that said...it has frankly, made the terrain of her life a mixture of deep valleys as well as mountain peaks. She left today riding high--I mean, a Mt. Everest kind of high. I cried the other day when the Morehouse men filed to the stage and some of the testimonies featured as to what her financial assistance did for their lives struck me in a deep place. What also struck me was so many of them went on to do great things and provide services and hope to others. The empowerment of women has been the touchstone of her mission as well. Oh, the many stories of triumphs and overcoming impossible odds and providing a pathway for them to become movers and shakers on many levels of society. They call this the "Oprah Effect". The latter will I'm sure make this new endeavor OWN a success.

One can go on and on about this phenomenal woman who has recognized that she has flaws like the rest of us but I think the most endearing quality about her is that she's always moving forward and trying to be the best that she can be. If she stumbles or falls; Oprah springs back up and brushes herself off and continues to do what is necessary to make her "calling" more meaningful and to be of service to others. She frequently cites a quote by Dr. Maya Angelou..."When you know better--you do better"! Over the years as she's learned her lessons; the beauty within shines ever so bright and enhances the image of the gorgeous woman who waved to us as she left the stage today. Humanitarianism and philanthropy have been taken to new heights because of this lady and the world loves her for it.

Today's speech was uplifting and vintage Oprah as she cites "To God The Glory", however, the one that really captures her spirit and mission sanctioned by the most high for me-- is the speech she gave at the NAACP Hall Of Fame Induction 2005.

"I COME AS ONE, BUT I STAND AS 10,000 TO THE 10TH POWER".

Blessings to you Ms. Oprah Winfrey and your soul mate, Mr. Stedman Graham. He let the world know the other day how much he loves you and the impact you've had on his life.

Link:
http://www.oprah.com/own

Memories Of My Mother: Thelma Robinson Jeffries

2011-05-08T04:14:00.036-05:00

Your Mother Is Always With You
Your mother is always with you...

She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street.

She's the smell of bleach in
your freshly laundered socks.

She's the cool hand on your
brow when you're not well.

Your mother lives inside
your laughter. She's crystallized
in every tear drop...

She's the place you came from,
your first home.. She's the map you
follow with every step that you take.

She's your first love and your first heart
break....and nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, Not space...
Not even death....
will ever separate you
from your mother....You carry her inside of you....

Sherry Martin

It's been many years now since the passing of my mother. She was a young 42 when she died of cancer. One of my few surviving aunts sent this picture and called to tell me that they found it in one of the old albums in the attic. This was taken in the early 60's and I hadn't quite reached the age where I would find the suits and hats rather passé. As daughters we want to emulate our mothers and aunts. I thought they were attractive and "sharp". In fact, I thought I was "cool" sporting my shades. We were standing in front of Aenon Baptist Church in my hometown, Rochester, N.Y.. From my left to right, Aunt Dorothy, Mama and Aunt Serena coaxed me to join them and I'm so glad that I did. Viewing this picture again took me back to a time of teenage angst and ongoing conflict with my mother. You see, she wouldn't let me date until I was that magical age of 16. I was at that time so in love, in fact he was my first love and like most teens--you think you are just going to die if you can't be with the one you love. A two year wait was too much to bear at that time. A lot of moodiness and sulking behavior dominated that period.

Parenting is difficult and usually we follow the guidelines of our forebearers and in some cases there's no effort to consider the changing times and social mores. There were no mother-- daughter talks like I had with mine when they were navigating those teen years. My mother adhered to the "do as I say or else" mindset and that's how she and my step-father "ruled" our household.

It's rather bittersweet that I became closer to my mother as a young adult and just when I was getting to know her and really appreciate all that she had done to get me to that point; she was stricken with terminal cancer. The lesson was well learned and I kept the teachings that were beneficial and discarded the ones that I felt would hinder the bonding and closeness that I so wanted to have with my daughters. Mission accomplished and successful. Their loving father was also instrumental in the latter. :-)

Mama I miss you and you would be so proud of your granddaughters. There are so many things I would have discussed with you and although our generation (baby boomers) didn't hear the endearments that we've passed on to our off springs; we knew intrinsically that you loved us. I don't take that for granted and before I end phone conversations or hugs before they leave after a visit; "love you" is mutually expressed. For that's the last thing they will remember is that I loved them "deeply and vastly".

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL......

Phoebe Snow: Another Great One Has Left Us...

2011-04-27T15:53:00.003-05:00

What a life she led with all her trials and tribulations!

Phoebe Snow was indeed one of the most soulful and unique talents of our time and she has joined that celestial pantheon of remarkable vocalists. She now belongs to the ages and what a musical legacy she left us. I hope and trust her transition was a smooth one and she is now with her daughter whom she loved and nurtured for many years against all odds. Blessings Phoebe.