i might come down for meals

Top of the 'to do' list? Wind up the parents

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:06:00 +0000

To do:
get tongue pierced
tatoo [sic] whole back
shave hair into mohawk
dye tips of hair black
get arms tatooed [sic] - full sleeve

Age 14

We found this near the computer - she must have been bored with Facebook for a minute or two.

World record

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:03:00 +0000

Not even a note. This is a new level of unlovedness.

Age 14

We went to work early (as usual) and in a rush. We didn't write the usual note ("Please empty dishwasher and do some of your washing. Tidy room - or else!!!!")

July 2009

You owe me

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 19:02:00 +0000

Aged 9

Dear Mum & Dad

U. O. Me £10.00 by Tuesday 2nd December. Plus I never found my 50p so add 50p.

I ................. agree to this note

'You are overacting'

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 16:40:00 +0000

Tilly, aged 8

To Jason and Sacha
I think you are overacting about it all. I woke up this morning and it was in the pool and I was going to put it in the garage like dad said and I was going to take all of the toys out and now you are cross so don’t take it out on people (!) when they have not done what you think.
Live well eat well play well
Lots of love
Tilly

Back of the note says: PS Jason and Sacha I have not eaten yet!!!

The note was written on the morning of us moving house (Tilly was 8), the toy in question is an inflatable whale that is over 6 feet long, and I had asked that all toys were removed the night before and packed together. I awoke at the crack of dawn after 4 hours sleep to discover a menagerie of inflatable animals in the pool, and a removals truck pulling into the drive! Yes and I hadn’t fed my child yet!

Legal eagle

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 21:15:00 +0000

Age 10

[Mum] owes I [name] £11.00 worth of earrings. She owes this because she put a pair of I's jeans in the washing machine which had her favourite earrings in the pocket. And also a pair of friendship earrings.
Signed ________________

2nd June 2005 Signed
1st June 2005 Written

Mrs C owes her daughter an apology in which she must state that she is an idiot for losing something so precious.
Signed _____________
Signed and sealed 2nd June 2005
Written 1st June 2005

Love-hate

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 18:21:00 +0000

Age 8

I Love
I love my family
I love my hampster
I love L [sister]'s hamster
I love Grandpa
I love my Aunties
I love my Uncles
I love my cousins
I HATE Mrs Thomas [her teacher]
by [signed]

Read this one for feelings on another teacher

Forbidden topics

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 09:44:00 +0000

Age 9

Dear Martha
I don't believe in ghosts any more.
You can still write any way but not about ghosts.
From [signed]

The boy's a genius

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:00:00 +0000

Age 4
Kindly contributed by Bad Mom (check out her blog) who says:

"My then 4-year old son Mason scrawled this after I had done something apparently quite egregious. Insulted, he sat & wrote BAD MOM on a piece of scratch paper, the O being a face sticking out its tongue, hands on ears . He quietly left it on the desk for me, and I have since kept it attached to a bulletin board above the computer. A reminder of my badness, lest I start to feel like a perfect parent."

Sisters

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 15:19:00 +0000

Age 11

I Hate You
I hate you
I wish you were dead
I hate you
I want to cut off your head

I hate you
You are so selfish
I hate you
You have no feelings
It goes on for a whole page but it's a bit too extreme to publish...

No porkie pie!

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:11:00 +0000

Age 10
My Birthday sweets and presents yet.
Maths - I hate it.
For my Birthday I got a pooing pig.

Speechless

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:09:00 +0000

Age 7 and 8

Dear Davy and Nannies
Did you have a nice Birthday Davy?
Did you get our card on time?
What did you do on your Birthday?
We have just got in from school and mummy is making our dinner it is chops.
Mummy didnt go to work today because she wasnt well
she lost her voice on Sunday but it'is back now worst luck
We havent done much so we havent got anything too write about

see you soon
Lots of love
G and V

Bedtime blues

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:41:00 +0000

Age 8
Dear Mum
I missed you last night.
Please can you come up to me now.
There is a letter in the lounge.
Loads and loads ectectect ectectect
Love
xxxxxxx
ect

Suppertime blues

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:00:00 +0000

Age 10
Dear Mum and Dad
I love you. I love you, Mum. I am sorry about not trying ure casserole and I should have.
Dad, ure so funny and crazy! So great at accents too!
Mum, I can't relax. My chest hurts! Ohh I'm pretty good at using my left hand!
Love you both!
I luv you

Is handwriting is the window of the soul?

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 16:29:00 +0000

Age 10
To my fabulous Mum,
I love you so much, and I am so sorry for being horrid!
When is dad coming home

Dad has a baby? Meet Imelda

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 09:00:00 +0000

This is so random. Interpretations are invited - just leave a comment. I am especially intrigued by the 'frog shortening' and by the fact that it appears to be to do with 2 men having a baby

Age 9
1 August Mum makes an announcement
2 Big changes
3 September Introducing Imelda
4 All about frog shortening
5 November Big trouble
6 Dad plays up
7 December Surprise surprise
8 Feb Dad has a baby
9 Dad plays up again
10 April B-day
11 Happy familys [sic]

Imelda - oh no
1 Change nappy
2 Bath her
3 Change her cloths [sic]
4 Strap her in
5 Burp her
by Nick and Dad
List of things for Imelda

Grand Old Duke

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:00:00 +0000

Age 11
Dear Duke of York
Miss G and I feel our friendship is falling apart.
We would like to spend some quality time together...
Just me and her for 1 week 3 days.
I was just wondering if this is okay. Is it?
Thanks
Cruella
P.S. Plus my servants

Statement of fact

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:00:00 +0000

Age 11
To Mr and Mrs C
It is official. I hate you. Both.
You are horrid.
From [signed]

Practice makes perfect

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:41:00 +0000

Age 10
Dear Mummy & Daddy
I love you lots and lots. Ida did my hair in two French plaits. I am listening to Roald Dhals dirty beasts on tape. You are probably wondering why I am writing. It is because I love you and I am bored. It ia good for me to write letters as practise.
Roald Dhals dirty beasts are rude but very funny.

It always rhyms.
Love from Isobel xxx [etc]
a gazzillion xxx
PTO
Dear Mum and Dad
Do you like it?
Love Isobel
A very snooty, snotty little girl that is spoilt and rude.
A very nice kind little girl that is not spoilt.

Dug in

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:35:00 +0000

Age 9
Dear hatefull family.
I am not going to say sorry.
If I do you have to let me hav[?] food and [?]

Spidey is a hit

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 17:25:00 +0000

Spiderman review, age 9

Pretty good for what I saw
actually it was exelent.
Wonderful fake crying
Spiderman's costume is fab.
The graphics were brilliant
The music was fabulas
infact even better than fabulas

So sophisticated. Yet not.

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 11:33:00 +0000

Found in a notebook

Creepy crawlies

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 20:13:00 +0000

Age 10
love Tilly
dear mum
I do have lice
I found a mum and lots of eggs
I need to get d-lowsed

Love letter

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 12:22:00 +0000

Aged 11
Dear Mum and Dad, I love you, you are fabulous, both of you. I love you, Dad, Mum, when you smile, laugh eat or drink, talk or write, it is like the sun comes up, the rain stops, the trees are in full bloom, the flowers too. There are plates of the best food ever, in piles. Every one is happy. It makes me laugh, smile, eat, drink, talk, write too.
There is only one main message to this letter. I honestly, truly, [w]holey, love you! So much. Everything is happy and good. Lots of love, so much love! Tonnes of love!
xxx [etc]

That's all right then

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:39:00 +0000

Age 10
To Maddy
Re: Limo Party 29th January 2005
I can come! It is on the day of my Great Uncle Hughe's Funeral.

I have my reasons

noreply@blogger.com (Bathsheba) — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:15:00 +0000

Aged 11

Dear Mr and Mrs

I am writing to apologise for my behavior on the night of Wednesday the eigth [sic]. You see, I have my reasons. My homework (forgotten) was of the Design Technology sort and Mrs F (my DT teacher) is a favorite of mine, so I like to do her homework. It was very unorganised and silly of me to do this. I am ever so sorry.

I will try to control my behavior and not let my behavior disrupt these lodgings.

Yours Faithfully
Your daughter and neighbour [signed]