Fearfully and wonderfully made ♥

2012-02-10T05:44:00.000-08:00

不忘九天前，我们的羞涩。

2011-12-13T06:46:00.000-08:00

九天，来不及眨眼就过了。

沉淀着自己的心情，九天的情感，哪能说忘就忘。

你们说怎么可能会那么深，几天后就会忘。

我说，你能忘记与星空的约定吗？

她们像家人在那里等着我，

叫我怎么能忘记。

我会等到那一天的团圆饭，唱着我们熟悉的歌，说着我们共同的梗。

让我们在那之前，回味着我们所有的感动。

2011-11-30T19:34:00.001-08:00

2011-11-24T00:48:00.000-08:00

现在4点48分。好冷，好冷。

塞在被窝里，埋进梦境里，挣扎着离开现实的恶梦。

人生算什么／／／／

起床了没目标。

说话了不讨好。／／／／

别怪其他人，是你自己可笑。

很可笑，可笑得很很可悲。／／／／

你现在想的我都知道。／／／／／／／／／／／／／

让世人的批评在这一刻把我打入地狱／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／／

活着回来，那是梦想。

我要的美好。

2011-11-21T02:31:00.000-08:00

做着你不懂的事，想着你不懂的美好，

坚持自己想要的人生，这就是我。

－眼球先生《想太多。悄悄话》

It's not about the money.

2011-09-23T18:54:00.000-07:00

Felt really bothered the last night because of the conversation I had with someone and a reflection I did last night.

Seriously, I do art not to impress anyone but because I like what I am doing. I know it cost a lot to make art but I don't think we're wasting money or resources in art making, we are using materials to express what we want to say. Art requires time and effort to produce, and what's more important than the end product to an artist is the process of making, we don't do it for the sake of end product, whatsoever. I don't expect everyone to understand what an artist is going through and what he or she is trying to express, but some comments and judgements are just making the life of an artist harder, and I can understand that kind of stress people like us will go through. I know it's a integral part towards being an artist and I got to learn how to accept both criticisms and compliments but after all, we're all human beings, we get discouraged, stressed and pinned down. I can't exactly express how I am feeling right now but I just hope more people can be kind and understanding towards budding artists like me because we are still learning. I always thought that I had this stereotype thing in my head thinking that only caucasians and people like them appreciate the field of arts. I hope it's not true.

2011-09-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

Worst flu of the year..

No surprise.

I guess I should start picking myself up for eoy. Anyway it's too late, but there's nothing much I can do. I screwed up the whole of term 3 cos i've no idea what i've been learning and all, and yesterday when I was having fever i felt so strengthless and start to question myself if i can really make it to year 4. I pray.

那一年，我们一起追逐的梦。

2011-09-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

身为一个艺术领域的学生，虽然充满着许多憧憬和理想，可是看到许多有着同样梦想却在辛苦打工赚钱的上班族，可能做着和自己的擅长完全毫无关联的工作，每天有一餐没一餐，多多少少对于未来除了期待同时也会有担心。

想坚持的人继续创作着，不想坚持或被逼要放弃梦想的人就只好每天努力的赚钱生活着。坚持理想比想象中难，除了自己的生活起居等等要照顾，还要应付外界给予那些不看好的压力。

“梦想是美好的，现实却很残酷”这句话说得可真的一点也没错。

要改变世界看自由界工作者的态度是很难，可是身位快要成为自由界的一份子，我想给予每一位勇敢追随梦想不怕失败的逐梦人最大的支持！我相信你们的创意和那份坚持感动了世界上许多的人。你们可能不是百万富翁，可是你们活的潇洒快乐，你们现在可能面对着工作不稳定而感到害怕不安，可是你们勇敢面对困难，突破它并且用你们的实力证明给世界看你们的那份热情可以散发出来的力量，同时你们也尝到了努力所节出来的甜蜜果子。我不敢说我以后在工作上会很顺利，可是我相信只要我坚持，不会有太难的关卡是可以考倒我的。我们就再给这些创作者更多的支持，更多的信心吧！

逐梦人，加油！:')

Trying hard to buck up.

2011-09-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

OKAY FINE.

Everyone is reminding me that today is friday and sch is starting VERY soon.

Come to think about it, it's probably not so bad cos we are really close to EOY and after that we will all fly to diff places for OIP and after I come back I can do whatever I want. I can't wait for EOY to end cos it's kinda stressing me out (not so if people can stop talking about it). Anyway today is pretty good, can't say it's productive though. Hope I can finish whatever I need to do hopefully by today or tomorrow. YAYYY I'M A HAPPY GIRL <--- UH YES.

Take care Mrs Choo.

2011-09-01T00:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Teachers' Day, Mrs Choo!

For those who know my experiences in primary sch with her

will think that i'm being really really sarcastic but I'm not.

It's because of her, being really nasty and unreasonable,

telling me why I can't make it because I'm just horrible and all,

that actually motivated me to work hard for PSLE and

eventually scored better than I think I would.

It's also because of her I don't need to feel guilty not going back to pri sch!

(okay, this is my main point, yoohooo~)

Mindchamp!

2011-08-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

Dad: What did you had for dinner?

Ah ma: Rice lor.

Dad: With what?

Ah ma: Vegi lor.

Dad: What vegi?

Ah ma: *silence*

Dad: What kind of vegi?

Ah ma: I don't know the name of the vegi...

Dad: Is it soft or hard?

Ah ma: Hard!

Dad: And besides vegi?

Ah ma: Fish.

Dad: What kind of fish?

Ah ma: Don't know leh... The black black one.

Dad: Nice anot?

Ah ma: Nicceee laa!

ME: *LAUGHTERS*!

In the loving memory of my grandpa.

2011-08-21T04:27:00.000-07:00

On wednesday, 17 August 2001... my grandpa went to be with the Lord (:

Just wanna talk abt this because I see how throughout the whole process, starting when he first suffered from stroke, got hospitalised till he passed away, I see God's unfailing love not just for me but also for my entire family, and it's something that I really want to testify.

So what happened was that my grandpa suffered a stroke attack when eating out with my grandma quite a few months ago and my grandma was traumatised, running to my house crying saying that grandpa fainted and got sent to the hospital. Initially non of us in the family thought that it would be stroke, but later on when my family went to the hospital, the doctor said that my grandpa suffered from a stroke attack and could not articulate because both sides of his brain were paralysed. With heavily burdened heart, my family prepared ourselves for the days to come because we knew that most probably his condition will get worse and not better, well, not to say that we were faithless, but knowing that it's the third time he suffered from stroke, and a serious one too.

Later on, the doctor called my father at late midnight saying that my grandpa went into ICU because he had a breathing problem so I accompanied my father to the hospital and saw my grandpa looking really pale and painful. At that juncture, we were forced to make a painful decision to whether let him undergo a surgery so to help his breathing for a longer lifespan or to just leave it as it is. Yes, it was really painful, and I had to think about it almost everyday and I just can't help but to feel horribly stressed and upset, neither one can help him to regain the ability to communicate with us. I guess that was the hardest period throughout this process.

Finally we prayed and decided to let him undergo the surgery, so that we can walk through the last few months of his life with him. As often as we could, we would visit him in the hospital, massage him, talk to him... I guess he knew we were there, he held my hand like really really tight such that i couldn't withdraw my hand.

Initially he could look into our eyes, but later he got weaker and weaker, closing his eyes more often than before. We knew that it must be really hard for him, and he will one day leave us. From time to time he got transferred to many different hospitals and I just tell myself that I NEED to visit him at the hospital in Hougang in which he stayed for the last few days of his life and in fact, that was the last time I held his hand and talked to him.

I received my father's call on Wednesday when I was on my way home that he told me to tell mummy that grandpa passed away. I asked if he needs my accompany to the hospital and he said that as a family we will go together. We went to the hospital and take a last look at our beloved grandpa.

I'm thankful because even though life was really hard for him and my family, God gives us strength to carry on and even after he passed away, God give us comfort by sending wonderful angels into our lives, both christians and non christians too :') Daddy made a speech before grandpa's cremation and we were all crying because we were reminded of the thing God bless us with, from big to small but all is powerful. Wanna thank esp all the churchies, because of all their unfailing care and concern for my grandpa and my family that we know that even though we did not visit grandpa at times, they were there to keep him accompanied; that we know that even though my father is the only child, we can count on them to share the burden.

God opened up my eyes to show me the truest friends in my life and my family's and I'm awed by His power to touched even the non believers' hearts through my grandpa's wake services and all that. He can even used the last part of my grandpa's life to do great things, I'm so thankful and amazed.

God also place people into my life to comfort and encourage my family and I. I'm esp thankful because it is through Him I know where my grandpa is going and eternally staying (:

I see it as something worth rejoicing and be thankful of!

In all glory I give God for great is thy faithfulness!

ARGHHH

2011-08-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

Take a little break after all the school stuffs to write a little reflection...

School has been so crazy and I'm beyond just feeling stress or tired. I'm totally hating life like this because I don't seems to enjoy anything, yet.

I need to get over this asap!

(Three lines reflection I call this).

What a blessing.

2011-08-10T03:08:00.000-07:00

Just received a message from Sarah to join her in her birthday and bible school graduation celebration. For some reasons it just brought me to tears and memories just flooded my heart. I miss this sister so much but we never got a chance to meet, see down to talk or to have a simple meal together. I thank God for this really small message that has made my day so special!

ROAR.

2011-08-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

It's been crazy for the past few days...

Thank God I slept for abt 8 hrs last night! :)

Screwed up today's Chemistry Practical and another practical for bio tmr... I'm so stressed out and tired (from my heavy eye bags, dark circles and lots of pimples you can tell) this week and coming weeks. I've got a crazily long "To-do" list and trying hard to get them done when I just don't feel like doing anything after a long day in school. At the same time, I should also remind myself more often that I'm going for an IB cert and not anything else. So, I really need to put in that EXTRA effort and work really really hard for this year and the years to come.

I can't afford to fail.

你的爱迷路了吗？

2011-07-28T05:11:00.002-07:00

刚到家。

觉得今天特别漫长，我的心特别沉重。。。

今天放学后就发生了几件不愉快的事，

突然在巴士上想起了《我们爱让世界不一样》这一首歌。

歌词提到：“我们爱，因神先爱我们。心再坚强也不要独自飞翔，

只要微笑，只要原谅，又你爱的地方就是天堂。”

可是好像现在的人都忘了怎么去微笑，更不知道什么是原谅。

我又想起慧慧说过，你在出入地铁站时，

你又没有留意身边的人？

说不定刚经过你的人是多么需要基督的爱，

说不定他正在面临着生命中的一个考验，

气也喘不上就要挤进那拥挤的地铁。。。

我站在某个车厢默默的观察身边的人，

有多少是被得救的，

有多少还是迷失的羊。。。

我知道我应该是世界的光和盐，

可是现在的我为这样的世界感到心痛，

感到悲伤。

邻居看到我后问我放学后的背影为何看起来如此无力又难过，

是的，

现在的我是如此沉重。

为什么世界变得如此复杂，

为什么世界不会包容，不会爱，不会原谅，

为什么世界那么虚伪又自私？

为什么这些问题似乎永远都解不开？

可是我知道这为上帝将会给我一个答案，

将会给我他所应许的。

这世界看起来很富贵却很贫穷，

人看起来什么都有，其实什么都没有。

As I pray. Hope in Him only.

Unforgiving.

2011-07-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

Just read a FB post about a handmade artist who copied another artist's work. I can say that her reputation is pretty much gone by now, from the content of the post and comments...

It's not that I support copycats for taking other people's designs and turning them into their own, but do people need to defame her so badly? ): From my perspective as a craft hobbyist, it's not very nice of the craft community to attack the person for just one mistake she made. I do feel very unhappy if i were to be the original designer, but i will take alternatives to let the person know that she's wrong and tell her what she should do, like give credits to the original artist, etc.

But I guess the society is just unforgiving, and it's true. Like my friend who edited one photo of her idol on Tumblr, got taken by someone else who took all the credits, she emailed her what she did was wrong, and ask her to take down the photo or give credits. I admire such attitude.

We don't have to go to being extreme.

Real hard.

2011-07-20T05:28:00.000-07:00

I think the hardest thing in the world to deal with is not money, but relationships. Not just with lovers, but family and friends. I think there's so much more that I need to learn and still learning. The only thing i wished for is that those who truly love me will give me the time to learn, eventually, change.

Lord, teach me to be forgiven and slow to anger.

Amen.

Focus and driven.

2011-07-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

I'm really tempted to own a blogshop and try selling my handmade stuffs now but i don't have the time to come out with a variety of things to sell and the time to maintain it :'(

Got to really do it after exams and whatsoever cos i really want to improve and do well! I shall exercise more self-discipline these days!

Anw.. really touched by the sermon today because I felt that God has spoken to me personally and I feel even more motivated and encouraged to do something for this ministry. And I believe I can do it with the power of God, as i continue to pray and seek...

Find strength.

2011-07-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

Greatly encouraged by God and I just want to continue to pray and ask for strength. My goal is to be an inspiration for other people and to be His testimony. So, it's time to grow strong again. And by God's blessing I'm really thankful for a Sister in Christ that i can talk to when i need to, things that probably only she can understand.

Loving You wholeheartedly...

Yes, this is truly D.I.Y!

2011-07-14T01:51:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons that I love handmade stuffs

because it's unique and thoughtful.

I can't believe that now, I went even further to create my own stamp cleanser, I find myself pretty funny and amazing at the same time. I went to hunt for these ingredients early in the morning and they are: (from the left of the second photo)

Distilled water, baby shampoo, Glycerin and empty bottles.

TADAA! I'm done and I guess it's pretty successful, you can youtube this for more instructions!

Going to make some stamps now.. Bleh, wasted so much time today :/

Find the strength to rise.

2011-07-12T02:43:00.000-07:00

"When we humans, do not understand what good there is in the situation- that's when you should choose to rejoice."

A very powerful statement that spoke to me when I was watching Jayesslee singing and sharing their testimony on Youtube. It also reminded me about this book that i once read, by John Piper. It served as a reminder to me that to rejoice in Him is not just something that you can choose to do but something that you should do. Sometimes when things are getting tough I love to read encouraging verses and my personal diaries because I'll be really encouraged and take things in a more positive way. Praising God when times are tough and rejoicing in His Name brings glory to Him.

What Faith Can Do.

2011-07-11T22:42:00.000-07:00

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Jayesslee Testimony

2011-07-10T01:53:00.000-07:00

I think it's been pretty long since I watched a video that actually made me teared and so touched. It's amazing to see how through them God is glorified.

They are more than just beautiful faces and voices...

Right or wrong?

2011-07-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

I wonder along the way,

if there is a "correct" answer for Arts.

As sound as the concept or idea may be,

works lacking in depths and the inability to connect ideas

with whatever mediums being used,

no matter hard you try,

no matter if it is your final piece or experimental piece,

no matter what issues you are trying to address,

it will be treated as a "wrong" answer- totally unacceptable.

It is right to say that arts students can fail thousands of time

because in future when we step into any Arts industry,

we can't afford any sort of failures,

so if you're going to fail, it's time to do so now.

Ironically, we can't fail that many times either.

If your performance is not up to expectation,

you start to blame yourself because your grade will be affected,

and when your grade is affected,

opportunities that's open for you will also close down.

And that's probably how every Arts student will feel--

the fear of failure and the mentality to create artworks

just so to meet other people's expectations.

It's so true that everyone now just focus on our grades,

without really thinking about the process of making our works,

the process and thinking about our works.

We forget to listen to the voice in our heart because the

voices around us are so much stronger, louder, and definitely influential.

After reading a small portion of the book, "Art and Fear",

I realize the importance to shut down the voices around us,

telling us what to do, what you should do, or worse still, what is the "correct answer".

I will never figure it out for myself, what I can do to impress

anyone looking at my work, no matter how "fail" it can be.

I will never figure it out for myself, how others will look at me or my artworks

because I am who I am, this is MY work, MY expression.

So you too, shut down those voices that say you're not good,

you're wrong, and you can't make it.