Sheryll Uncorked

Happy message

2011-08-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.

If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

The best vitamin for making friends..... B1.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself
If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.

Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open..

The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what you might have been.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong. Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you my friend.

I`ve Been to Paradise

2011-06-04T13:24:00.000-07:00

Don`t you ever have a song that just buzzes in your ear the whole day long that resonates what you`ve been feeling? This song has been nagging in my subconscious since Thursday. Had to hum it to myself the whole time I was in Kapellenweg though I don`t know the whole lyrics. It`s my comfort song for now for I desperately need peace of mind.

A serene place to meditate and cast your last favor. Kapellenweg is situated in Rüngsdorf along the juncture of Kapellenweg and Rolandstraße.

Oh yeah, this song talks about a promiscuous lady but that part doesn`t apply to me. Only the part where it says I`ve been to paradise relating to how I saw my life with my ex bf. Paradise as we were two kids playing to be grown ups in a foreign land. And now I`m basically learning to be me (for I`ve never been to me). It`s quite hard to distinguish yourself apart from the couple you were always associated to be. You lose your sense of distinction. Jumping in the wagon of being single is like having "sea feet". Trying to stand steady on wobbly ground.

I`ve Never Been to Me (Lyrics)

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother

And a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do

But I wish someone had talk to me

Like I.. wanna talk to you

Ooh, I've been to Georgia, and California, and anywhere I could run

Took the hand of a preacher man

And we.. made love in the sun

But I've ran out of places and friendly faces

Because I had to be free

I've been to paradise

But I've.. never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away

'Cause I have this need to tell you

Why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me

Still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part

Of a weary heart

That has.. lived a million lives

Ooh I've been to Neese

And the isle of Greece where they sip champagne on a yacht

I've moved like Harlow in Montecarlo and showed them what I've got

I've been undressed by hands, and I've seen some things

That a woman ain't supposed to see

I've been to paradise

But I've never been to me

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children

That might have made me complete

But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free

I've been to paradise

Never been to me

I've been to paradise

But I've never been to me

Ohh... Yeah yeah yeah...
-----------------------------------------

This is a male version of the song with lyrics.

This is the original female version of the song before AIDS was known. Sang by Charlene.

Baby Steps of a Millionaire

2011-05-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

Year of the Rabbit - 2011. Image by markhillary

2011 is said to be year of the Metal Rabbit which is a good prediction for my sign. I'm born under the year of the Rabbit and this year promises much needed peace and tranquility.

My New Year's Resolution to expand my territories brought me to the online guidance of online marketing mentor Jomar Hilario. Signing up to his class opened my eyes to a whole lot of possibilities to broaden my chance of securing my future financial freedom. Getting old but financially independent is everyone's dream.

Artemis blogging. Image by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Thanks to Jomar, he introduced the whole online club to his very own mentor. After all, one can't be an expert without having been coached first. So now, let me introduce you to Brendon Burchard, author of The Millionaire Messenger and Life's Golden Ticket. Founder of Experts Academy.

A summary of the book questions your existence:

Did I live?

Did I love?

Did I matter?

Can you truthfully answer all in the affirmative?

You've seen my other blogs, you know how a blog should look like. For sure you have something in your life that you're passionate about. So from there let's begin making what you know as your greatest asset.

Watch the short video I have inserted in this post and then dwell on it. To help you, I have enumerated below the gist of the video:

10 Things To Do as Outlined by Brendon Burchard:

1. Claim your TOPIC.

Here is what I have to say here. Your PASSION is your TOPIC. Me? I love to bake, cooking is mandatory or else i will starve. From simple posting of pictures in facebook with loads of friends liking and commenting on it, I started blogging about it.

This is my second blog. All about learning and inspirational stuff that I think matters.

My third blog is about my life here in Bonn. The events and culture that makes you enjoy life to its fullest. See Expat Life in Bonn and you can also add us up in Facebook.

Would I stop at three blogs? Of course not! I still have loads of stuff I am passionate about.

If you are interested to keep in pace with the technology driven world and at the same time secure your future earnings, then you could start by making a list of all the things you are passionate baout. Painting, basketball, teaching autistic kids, snowboarding, or even lovebird breeding. Anything! You will be amazed that theres a number of people who would like to know what you know about these stuff. That will be your topic. Claim it.

Ready with your paper and pen and try to brainstorm after you watch this video.

2. Pick your audience.

3. Discover your audience needs.

4. Define your story.

5. Create a solution.

Example is by making products as a solution or a program.

6. Put up a website.

7. Campaign your program.

By doing strategic sequence of promotions.

8. Get promo partners.

Pick your choice from gurus, sponsors and affiliates.

9. Post free - content.

10. Focus on value, distinction and service.

Customer service or plain doing good in the world.

Questions? Post them here. Interested? I hope you are! So what's next? I will answer that once I hear from you.

As Brendon Burchars said it, Live fully, love openly and make a difference today.

Shoelace Love Story

2011-05-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

All of us have a love story to tell. Some might be in their happy ending part, or for some, still looking. Whatever your present relationship is now, we all go through these stages one way or the other. It is seldom that one finds their true love at the first try (like my mom), but eventually death still separates them.

Watch this story of how love buds, flourish, and if not taken cared of, can die down. Please leave a comment or share your experience at the bottom.

He called her his "unicorn". Unicorn became the most important imaginary animal of the middle ages and Renaissance when it was commonly described as an extremely wild woodland creature, a symbol of purity and grace, which could only be captured by a virgin.

The elusive unicorn. Image by Brenda Starr

Even Leonardo Da Vinci wrote something about unicorn in one of his notebooks. "became the most important imaginary animal of the middle ages and Renaissance when it was commonly described as an extremely wild woodland creature, a symbol of purity and grace, which could only be captured by a virgin."

Very sweet isn't it to be dubbed as unicorn. To be rare and hard to tame. And yet, if you have seen the end of the story, what then?

Six stages in a Relationship were outlined in the story.

Stage 1: The Meeting

How did you and your boyfriend / fiance / husband meet? Fixed date? Friend of a friend? Very seldom I think is by chance. We all are wary of strangers. It is much safer to meet someone that was recommended or you share a mutual friend with. Much easier for background check. But I know some friends who met their husbands through the dating website. I tried that before, but it didn't work for me. You really need to be dedicated to schedule a chat session. Most of whom I have met I have noticed were either lying or trying to get into my bank account. As if I am rich! Point blank is - its hard to trust someone these days. My present boyfriend? He was my student. No! I'm not older that him! It was a continuing education course.

Courting Feet. Image by imjoshdotcom.

Stage 2: The Chase

This is the "official" courtship stage. How conservative the courting or how traditional depends on where you live and your upbringing. Most American films we watch jump from meeting stage to the "bed stage" all in the same night. There is even a rule of dating only until the third (or fourth) time before determining if you want to dump him or keep on seeing him. Some says don't send him sms daily for it will look as if you're too clingy. My point is, be you. I was courted by a Peruvian. And boy, they are totally different from my Pinoy suitors. What my big brother advised me was don't conform to his way of courting just because you're in Europe or that that is the way they court ladies in Peru, but to let him conform to your idea of courtship. Too tough for him to be conservative, so I dumped him.

It's so nice to see the story show the real way of getting steady -- by asking the girl if she wants to be his girlfriend. That lays down the openness in the relationship. Some would just say they are officially a couple of they sleep together or if they stopped seeing others. But why grope in the dark. It is not unmanly to ask and make it official.

I know a hotel cleaner here who slept with someones boyfriend and told the girlfriend that she and the guy have a relationship. All because he slept with her. It failed to dawn on her that he never ended his real relationship with his girlfriend and that he never wanted to be seen with her.

In my homeland, this stage is critical for a girl doesn't want to be dubbed as too easy if she goes steady immediately after meeting the guy. More than three months of chasing is safe enough.

Shadow of Truth. Image by SDeluz.

Stage 3: The honeymoon

No, honeymoon is not solely for newly weds. It is the stage of courtship (yes, it is still courtship) that both parties are high in the Eros stage of love. Eros being a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment.

Honeymoon stage is now going out as a couple unlike the chasing stage where you tend to go out as a group. It is also official to each family that they are going steady. Meet the parents? Not much. It's too soon for that. Some who have good family relationship wants their parents to have a say in the relationship, so thus, the meeting.

I had this impromptu meeting with the father of my Fil-Am boyfirend before. He called me up saying he would like to meet me up on my lunch break. I was at work and being a professor doesn't entail you the freedom to jump out of the office once the lunch hour chimes. After tidying up my room and having short talk with some students, I went to see him in a fastfood chain a few buildings away from where I work. Suffice to say he was pissed off for waiting 15 minutes. He said that is impolite gesture in the States. I didn't comment on that maybe due to naivety or pure respect not to talk back. I was just baffled with his desire to meet me and even my boyfriend who was in the States at that time was bewildered to the sudden interest of his father. Gist of the meeting was that he was trying to see if I'm a gold digger. He laid down upfront the amount my boyfriend was making in a year. Was I interested? I was too stupid to make any right remark but I do remember just asking about his job. Hey I heard the figure but I don't know the exchange rate so I cant convert the amount. I was not really interested and I can't even recall as of now how much he said it was. It was only when we broke up after almost a year that I understood the reason for the visit.

Walk by faith. Image by SDeluz.

Stage 4: Comfortable

Comfortable under the thesaurus is as such:

Main Entry: comfortable

Part of Speech: adjective

Definition: good feeling

Synonyms: adequate, agreeable, appropriate, at rest, cared for, cheerful, complacent, contented,convenient, cozy, delightful, easy, enjoyable, enjoying, gratified, hale, happy, healthy, hearty,loose, loose-fitting, made well, pleasant, pleased, protected, relaxed, relaxing, relieved, rested, restful, restored, satisfactory, satisfying, serene,sheltered, snug, snug as a bug in a rug, soft, soothed, strengthened, untroubled, useful, warm, well-off

How do you describe your present relationship? Is this the same as Agape? Not really but bordering into it. Agape covers this stage and the next one which is "tolerance".

Let me tell you this, even if you have been going out for so long, never stop trying. Courtship should never end at the honeymoon stage. Do something different every once in a while. Light up the fire! For if not, you might succumb to the next stage.

A pair on its own. Image by SDeluz

Stage 5: Tolerance

You tolerate his tardiness. His inability to remember what to bring in the family outings. Her nagger side. Her unending to - do list. The burnt toast. The uncapped toothpaste. The shoes on the foyer. The unwashed dishes. The list could go on and still you can find fault. They say never go to bed angry and yet both of you can do the silent treatment for a week.

Yes, this is still part agape for love can still bring forth caring regardless of circumstance. There is always a plateau in every relationship. EVERY. Yes, we all go through this. Even husbands and wives. Ask any marriage counselor. That is why they are there. To resolve the "tolerance" stage and make sure it doesn't go to the next level.

I could say my present relationship is in this level. No, we don't hang up on each other or forget to call at all. But we try not to forget to call and we try to find new things to do. That is why I have this blog. It helps us see things in a new perspective. All of our shared outings that we post here or in our other blogs keeps us in track of each other. It makes all new experiences a joy to do.

Hoping....Image by SDeluz

Stage 6: Downhill

Seldom do people stay on this stage too long. Either you're a masochist enjoying being despondent all the time. Or you're a sadist reveling in the pain of others. Don't go this way. Either you do a major overhaul or jump the wagon!

Stage 7: Breaking Up

I applaud the couple who go about this stage in a civilized manner. Talking it out instead of hurling bad stuff in each other's faces. Some even use their social media walls to slander each other. Breaking up is hard. But once you decided to do it, then gather a support group to help you stand by your decision. Read books. Love yourself first so that you would heal. What I find that helps most? Distance. Time heals, but distance helps erase the memories. New cafe to hang out with. New faces to socialize. New places to see. It helps. Believe me.

It takes two to tango. Analyze what you did wrong. It is not 100% the other parties' fault. You have a hand at the downfall of your love story as well. Think what you need to change and what you need to work on. And after all these...move on. We all deserve a happy ever after.

Please share your own story or comment below.

Life as a Dance

2011-05-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

There is a quote that says "Life is but a stage and we are the actors". And I ask, can it not be a dance floor and we the dancers? For we move to the change of time. We sway to the shift of political views. We jump to any exhilarating news enfolded unto us. We dip, pirouette, split and do back flips for any opportunity, good or bad, that life throws us.

My earliest documents dance presentation was nursery school. I don't know how it happened nor do I have any idea how I was tapped to perform. All I can remember was dad and I visiting his friend to borrow the son's jeans and white long sleeves for the dance number.

Ballet shoes up in the air. Image by aussiegall

Then came Christmas presentations with me and a number of kids from the neighborhood dancing to the the medley of Michael Jacksons' hits.

Michael Jacksons' Star. Image by F. Ikezaki

I think it was year four in primary school when I started the Menudo fans Club and five of us class buddies started performing in school programmes. Of course, using all Menudo hit songs. Don't tell me you don't know Robby Rosa?

If I have the inclination to dance, why didn't I or my parents encouraged me to develop this? We are a very conservative and practical family. Extracurricular activities are frowned out by my dad during highschool for i might not give proper attention to my studies. Besides, it doesn't matter how many stage performances you've done in school. What matter is the grade reflected in the report card. So instead of attending the chess club, painters club, volleyball varsity after school hours, we were directed to go straight home after school. Some activities are part of the class projects though. For that, we were encouraged to bring home our classmates and practice at home. Pretty much convenient for me and we have enough space at home for that. But I did rebel a bit, I don't know how I did it but I was able to perform in a number of school dance presentations and was even part of the sophomore cheerleading squad that made the championship. Some teams I did try out on like the chess team. I tried out, got in but didn't pursue it. i just want the challenge of making it in the team. All of these I did without making a dent in my school grades.

College days, boy was that tough! I didn't even look for any extra curricular activity. I only participated in one tiny bit of cheerleading stint which won us the gold in the College Intramurals. Sad to say, I don't even have a picture of that escapade. Only the cheerleading outfit tucked away under pile of old clothes in my closet back home. It was my trophy.

Wizard girls cheerleaders. Image by t. in Virginia.

After graduating, my first taste of real job was as a professor and what I did on my first semester was start a dance troupe. It was aptly known as Quiver Flex. We even did a main live band - concert with sponsors and the whole works at Cavite Colliseum.

The only time I paid an instructor to teach me the moves was summer 2001. My mom and I enrolled in Ballroom dancing and as of now, the only thing we can remember was that that was the first time my dad showed symptoms of unknown malady.

So whats the happy ending? Sad to say, not everything has a happy ever after. I plunged head on to my corporate career after that and was lost in the crowd.

Holland dance festival. Image by H. Uitboro

Do I have any regrets? Nope. Nada. Living in a developing country makes you practical. Besides, there's not much organization then that train kids about this. Not even summer camps. If there were any, living in a province and being financially constrained was another problem. maybe nowadays its different. And when someday I have my own kids, I will make sure it will be different.

There's still my last chance for a dance....my future wedding dance. ;-)

Children Learn What They Live

2011-05-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

Cover of Children Learn What They Live

I have first read this in the waiting room of my dentist's clinic. It was part of our bi yearly check up and I never tire seeing this on the poster hanging on the wall. I was in highschool and yet for me this already makes sense.

We grew up never hearing praises from our parents nor is it normal for any of us to be saying anything praise worthy. Maybe its lack of time, poverty or being independent, we never seem to stop and praise each other. Ridicule. A dagger look. That's pretty common to shut us up. That's why late 2004, after my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I was shocked to overhear him say to a visiting friend that he was so proud of me because I was so professional everytime we meet with his doctors ( I happened to be in the medical field). And that he is thankful that I shouldered most of his chemo expenses. Also that in a way he is embarassed because he depleted my savings. I stopped on my track and was so overwhelmed with emotion that I don't know how to react. After all these years, he was praising me. That was my biggest accomplishment. To hear my dad say that out loud though not on my face. I thought he hated my career driven workaholic way because we came from a culture that women should be home carers.

Nail polish heart. Image by pink sherbet

My dad had passed on. But that memory will forever be cherished. One simple remark. It made a lot of difference, dad. Thanks and I love you.

Children Learn What They Live (1969)

BY DOROTHY LAW NOLTE

If a child lives with criticism,

He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,

He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,

He learns justice.

If a child lives with security,

He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

He learns to find love in the world.

Education and My Life

2011-05-17T14:09:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

"Tragedy of life is not what we suffer, but what we miss."

How do you want to be remembered? A loving daughter? loyal friend? magnanimous teacher? fearsome adventurer? caring child-minder? sweet girlfriend? charming wife? Whatever adjectives may describe you, at the end of your life, would it all matter?

If you have watched the attached video of Steve Job, he gave three stories from his life. Three important stories that made his life and completed who he is right now. Do I have a story like that to tell? I'm not sure. I'm not adopted. Although I have thought about it when I was small due to favoritism in my family. But that is just childish me thinking then. Unlike Steve, I have a college degree. Two of them actually plus numerous certificate of accomplishment to affiliate courses and licenses. So what makes my life special from Steve's? Nothing much. I'm not a CEO nor did I invent any computer gizmo. I'm just a simple me, still trying to etch my life in this vast world.

I was brought up by my parents with the idea that education is the only thing they can give me as inheritance. For no one can take it away from me and no one can put a value to it. True. So I studied, though not as hard as I want to. Earlier, I've been studying only to add up on my list of credentials. Then lately, I began to see that I really like studying. That learning new things excite me. My line of expertise is Allied Health Sciences, but due to continuing education, I'm here now learning the art of web blogging and earning passive income from it. Who would have thought I will be courageous enough to delve into html's and css's.

I felt stagnant before for my degree wasn't really my passion. I don't like messy stuff nor yucky wounds. Then as my patients found joy from their smallest improvement, I learned to love what I do. Unfortunately, some of my college classmates think that being successful in our field means we should be in America working under a prestigious clinic / hospital. I didn't follow that road. I made my own. I made a couple of business back home but due to lack of management expertise, both collapsed. Did I get depressed? Nope. It was lesson learned. I was able to get my ROI (return of investment) before my previous businesses collapsed though.

I'm no expert on life. Just living it day by day. But with new knowledge in hand that everyday is an opportunity to learn. How? I'm now into this online marketing course that gives you input in all areas of your life that you can tap to earn passive income. Did I step on anybody to get to where I am now? Proud to say no. I didn't marry any old man to be able to live abroad. I didn't fake any documents to get my job. I didn't succumb to debt just to get out of the country. I used my out most potential that was handed to me by my parents. My education, free will and determination to rise above all. With or without education, as proven by Steve Job, you hold your future in the palm of your hand. You shape it. I'm still shaping mine. I hope you're continually doing yours also.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Salesman's Prayer

2011-05-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

Image by Xerones via Flickr

What are we here for in life? We are not here just to live but to be a blessing to others. When we say salesman, what comes into your mind? A persistent man selling his wares and doing non-stop talk? We all are salesperson. We may not know it but its true. How do you gain acquaintances? By introducing yourself of course. By giving a short description of what you do which basically makes up the introductory phase of getting to know and beyond the ice breaker stage. By getting someones attention is a way of selling yourself. Are you someone easily liked? Are you sell-able as an acquaintance? Do people like talking to you or are they repelled by you? No man is an isalnd and by reaching out, we are opening ourselves.

Here is a special prayer I once read way back 2004. I retyped it on a green paper and hang it on m wall near my office table. I read this every morning before. More like my mantra. It helps me touch ground. Breathe in my friend and enjoy Og Mandino's The Salesman's Prayer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Salesman’s Prayer

I will pray, but my cries for help will only be cries for guidance. Never will I pray

for the material things of the world. I will pray as a salesman, in this manner –

Oh creator of all things, help me. For this day I go out into the world naked and

alone, and without your hand to guide me I will wander far from the path which

leads to success and happiness.

I ask not for gold or garments or even opportunities equal to my ability; instead,

guide me so that I may acquire ability equal to my opportunities. Help me to

remain humble through obstacles and failures; yet hide not from mine eyes the

prize that will come with victory.

Spare me sufficient days to reach my goals; yet help me to live this day as

though it be my last. Guide me in my words that they may bear fruit; yet silence

me from gossip that none be aligned.

Discipline me in the habit of trying and trying again; yet show me the way to

make use of the law of averages. Favor me with alertness to recognize

opportunity. Bathe me in good habits that the bad ones may drown. Suffer me

to know that all things shall pass; yet help me to count my blessings of today.

But all these things be only if thy will. I am a small and lonely grape clutching

the vine yet thou hast made me different from all others. Guide me. Help me.

Show me the way. Let me become all you planned for me when my seed was

planted and selected by you to sprout in the vineyard of the world.

Help this humble salesman. Guide me, God.

The Road Not Taken

2011-05-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

Image by Metrix X via Flickr

"The Road Not Taken" is a poem by Robert Frost, published in 1916 in the collection Mountain Interval. It is the first poem in the volume and is printed in italics. The title is often mistakenly given as "The Road Less Traveled", from the penultimate line: "I took the one less traveled by".

"The Road Not Taken" is a narrative poem consisting of four stanzas of iambic tetrameter and is one of Frost's most popular works.

Ive read this poem when I was in elementary and again in second year high school as part of our English subject. I even used this as my teaching demo the first time I applied as a professor. It was a very simple poem talking about making decisions in life. How one decides and how one reacts at the end.

My road not taken? Not to marry young. I had friends eloping and having babies right after college. I even had college classmates who are single moms. I didn't marry young not because lack of boyfriend, but of choice. My fiance left me for another girl because I won't compromise of his offer to marry and live with his family. I have this image in my mind that having a family should be starting on your own. Not adopting a whole family. That one shouldn't marry at all if one is not financially stable to nurture children. Now, all of my friends kids are in grade school and one going to high school. Until now I can't fathom their guts and courage to stand up for love and against their parents wishes. Am I envious? Not really. I was not forced to marry anyone just because of pregnancy. This is what I want. Freedom. To taste life. To experience all it has to offer. Now, I'm ready to settle down. I have taken my road. Its time to diverge to someone else's.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

My Closing Cycles

2011-05-09T14:22:00.000-07:00

Image by maury.mccown via Flickr

I was at the brink of ending my long relationship when I saw this post from a friend in her Friendster account. I quickly copied it and wrote it in my diary not knowing it was from Paulo Coelho who happens to be a fave inspirational author of mine.

It is as if life is suddenly shouting at me to finally end my torment in being trapped in a relationship that has no meaning. It gave me the courage to buy a one way ticket back home, board the plane and leave.

It also made me realize that the small love letters I have treasured are slowly pulling me down. The need to burn them was so intense that I even murmured a prayer while doing it. More of like exorcising my pain through the flames. I was in denial for so long with no one to share my burden. Courage, inspiration, wisdom..that's what this gave me. To finally love myself first above all.

Read on....

----------------------------------------------------------

One always has to know when a stage comes to

an end. If we insist on staying longer than the

necessary time, we lose the happiness and the

meaning of the other stages we have to go

through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending

chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters

is to leave in the past the moments of life that have

finished.

Did you lose your job? Had a loving relationship

come to an end? Did you leave your parents’

house? Gone to live abroad? Had a long-lasting

friendship end all of a sudden? You can spend a

long time wondering why this has happened. You

can tell yourself you won’t take another step until

you find out why certain things that were so

important and so solid in your life have turned into

dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be

awfully stressing for everyone involved: your

parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your

children, your sister, everyone will be finishing

chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with

life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a

standstill. None of us can be in the present and

the past at the same time, not even when we try to

understand the things that happen to us. What has

passed will not return: we cannot forever be

children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or

rancor towards our parents,lovers who day and

night relive an affair with someone who has gone

away and has not the least intention of coming

back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to

let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it

may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of

things away to orphanages, sell or donate the

books you have at home. Everything in this visible

world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of

what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of

certain memories also means making some room

for other memories to take their place. Let things

go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so

sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do

not expect anything in return, do not expect your

efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be

discovered, your love to be understood. Stop

turning on your emotional television to watch the

same program over and over again, the one that

shows how much you suffered from a certain loss:

that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting

love relationships that are broken off, work that is

promised but there is no starting date, decisions

that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to

be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will

never come back. Remember that there was a

time when you could live without that thing or that

person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a

need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be

difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride,incapacity or

arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits

your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean

the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who

you were, and change into who you are…

Validation in Twitter

2011-05-03T14:09:00.000-07:00

Image via CrunchBase

The Validation Video made waves even in Twitter. See what people are saying about it:

@DixieNormess: Adam
as someone that was only 10, to see that video now (before espn rips it down) is...eye opening...sort of validation for a lot of things...

@erikahelmke: Die Erika
Dieses Video musst du dir ansehen! -- Validation youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980… via @youtube Keep smiling ;)

Exotx
Everyone needs some validation, great video! http://fb.me/Ma22wOAo

Norelle Done
The Validation Era: media consumption, too much of a good thing... from Steve Rubel

Xavier Riley
God laid it on my heart to tell some1 to stop lookin for validation in ppl.#WhatDidGodSay is all that matters!

Tia Kelly
You have to be a different caliber of person to be content with inner validation than the applause of millions

J.Nelson-Coaching
How do I live from my soul? Turn Outer Validation into Inner Validation. -JN

•◘•◘•
@mentalexotica Mmm. It's funny how the need to get some sort of validation gives you the ability to endure more shit than ever.

robert D Tanner III
U better do some self-validation, b4 u go looking for somebody else to validate u. Be secure in u N be proud of u

5 Ways to Validate your Life

2011-04-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo F. Buscaglia

We all have our up's and down's. The question is: How do you handle each? Do you brag about your achievements when you're on "high"? Or, do you carry a long face the whole day when you're depressed? Better yet, are you one of those gifted with poker face? Wherein people won't know the difference if you have a winning or losing hand.

Trudging through life like a robot is no fun at all. Doing the same thing over and over again is a boring routine. Try to paint life this Easter and open your eyes to a whole new world as you start anew.

1. Power of Words

"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can do more harm."

Indeed, hurtful words strike deeper than physical blow. It doesn't leave a visible scar but as they also say, "memories run deep". Hurtful words will forever be remembered. Unless you're the forgive and forget type. But even if you forgive that person, chances are, if the words are really hurtful and so mean, you will still remember. No matter how old you maybe, flashbacks can occur and you will remember the words. The insecurity and hurt.

There's this old wives tale never to swear or promise anything bad coz the devil might hear you and claim his reward. So rebuke this and always use positive words that can transform lives. Small details that can uplift the spirit. Have you seen the movie "How do you know" by Reese Witherspoon? She portrayed the role of a baseball athlete who was taken off the roster list. There was a scene showing her looking in the bathroom mirror that was filled with colored post-it notes. In each note was a different positive quote that she utilizes to help her get the positive vibe. I once read a biography of J.Lo. She used to be a nobody who has this daily routine of talking to the mirror in the morning and saying to her reflection: "You are beautiful and successful." Take note, she wasn't then the J.Lo that we know today. But she used positive words that affirmed her status.

You would see the power of words everyday in the life of a student. Each day they go home from school and tell you what the teacher had said. What stuff they have learned. All of these learnings were conveyed by the teacher through the use of words especially in pre-schoolers. Kids don't say "I've read somewhere", but instead they say "the teacher told us that we should..." Kids remember words. They even know if they like what they heard or not. "I don't want to have a playdate with Susannah because she was being mean to me at lunch time. She said my hair looked funny!" Wailed a kid I knew. But give her some nice words, this little crybaby will love you forever.

Words. We take them for granted. We talk without thinking, that most of the time we end up shoving our foot inside our mouth. Think before you speak. Sometimes you can only be good as your word.

2. Dress up with a Smile

Image via Wikipedia

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”

- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Smile is actually contagious. Same as seeing someone yawn and suddenly you're triggered to stretch out and yawn yourself. There's nothing more sunnier than seeing someone with a beautiful smile. Try practicing your smile infront of the mirror everyday. It will improve your disposition and lessen the early onset of wrinkles. As some would say, it takes only 22 muscles to smile as compared to 37 muscles in frowning. So conserve your energy and do something more productive.

Try answering the phone with a smile. Even your voice will be different and the caller can easily tell form the way you sound that you're smiling. Smiling voice ergo friendly face.

I have a classmate in college who happens to be chubby. And I mean c-h-u-b-b-y. Eventhough she is horizontally challenged, boys flock to her side. I was amazed by the number of suitors that vie for her attention. And you know what I've noticed? All of them are attracted to her smile. It makes her charming and so friendly that she brings warmth wherever she go. She really do light up the room! Boys are magnetized to bask on her sunny disposition. I'm not saying that you should be a boy-magnet, but just to carry a smile that will make people like you even if they don't know you personally.

3. Get rid of toxic Company

What makes one a toxic company? How can you know if you have a toxic friendship? Toxic is synonymous to venomous, virulent, noxious. Use that to describe a friend or a relationship and you end up wanting to scream while running away. Words can be powerful, smile can be contagious, same with toxicity. It clings to whatever it touches. No matter how happy you are, how positive thinker you maybe, there will be off days when you just can't shield yourself enough from such people who radiate negative vibes.

I know someone epitomes such example. Let's call her Daisy (not her real name). Daisy came from a broken family and used to work as a saleslady in department stores. She married a German di·vor·cée who happens to have a daughter from his former wife. Being married to a German guy who loves her so much and having had the chance to live abroad should make her happy and grateful. Unfortunately, she hates her life. She hated being a second wife and a step mom. She learned that her husband has cancer and hated being stuck with a sick partner. She doesn't want to learn the German language because she said its too hard. She doesn't want to work because she said the company is not paying her the correct amount that is due her. She is constantly jealous of her step daughter because her husband has been lavishing her with money that she thinks she should have instead. She has nothing good to say to anyone that every time she calls, your only job is to only listen for an hour while she rants. You cannot give her advice for you will end up contradicting her and she hates that also. Her phone calls gives palpitations and anxiety that friends decided not to pick up when she calls. People tend to ward away from her due to such toxic behaviour. They all don't want to have anything to do with her because no one can help her. She wouldn't let them help her. So instead of being suck into such blackhole personality, get away from it as fast as you can.

4. Believe in Karma

Karma is that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Plainly stated as "what comes around, goes around." Here is a story that I remember reading in the comics when I was a kid.

Philippines are known for having extended family living together. There was once an old man who lives with his son. His son has a wife and a young son named John. They always eat together as a family. The old man, being old and weak always happen to break his plate. It will either slid off the table or fall while the old man is holding it. This happens so many times that the wife of his son got pissed off and demanded that the son do something about it. The son then cleaned out a coconut husk and gave this instead to his old father to use as a plate. John saw all of this.

John then grew up, married and had a son of his own who he named Fred. John's father who is old by now also lived with them. This time, it is his father that has been accidentally breaking china and glass that he too did what he saw his father do to his grandfather. He made a plate for his father out of coconut husk. Fred saw all of this.

Fred grew up, married, had a son and named him Luke. John, now an old man lives with them also. While they were eating, John would now and then break something. One fine afternoon, old John saw Fred in the garage forming and cleaning out a coconut husk. Trembling with hurt but knowing he deserves it, old John approached Fred and voluntarily asked to be given the coconut husk. Fred, frowned and asked, "why do you need the coconut husk father?"

Old John replied with sad eyes, "My son, I saw my father gave a coconut husk to grandpa when I was a kid. I too did the same to my father because he keeps on breaking our plates. Now, I know I will be needing the same."

Fred was surprised but said, "Father, I too will be old someday. I don't want to eat on a coconut husk. I don't want my son to do such thing to me when I grow old, so I have no plan of doing it to you. This coconut husk is not for you but for our new dog. I will be getting Luke one for his birthday. Father, I love you and I honor you so much that I will not treat you badly."

You want life to give you blessings? Then be a blessing to others.

5. Do your Morning Affirmation

There's a lot of writings about this topic. One is from Bo Sanchez that tackles on How Affirming you can be. But basically this is also about making a mantra. A mantra is statement or slogan repeated frequently, best in the morning so that it will be your morning greeting to yourself and to the world. Make sure your mantra is on the positive side. If it is a want or something that you desire, write it in such a way you are claiming it. The ABC of mantra?

A - ask

B- believe

C- claim

Write it down and tape it on your bathroom mirror. You can recite it in your head while brushing your teeth. One example is this:

"I am healthy, beautiful, smart and successful. I will have a loving, responsible husband and will have God-fearing kids."

Lastly, I will impart to you what my mom always tell us. Offer everything to God. When you're happy, thank God. When you're swamped with workload, offer it to God. And every burden will be light.

Happy Easter to you all!

Realizing your Potential

2011-04-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

"Life is like a box of chocolate. You'll never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump

Remember the song "que sera sera"? A girl asking her mom what she will be when she grows up? Even her mom wasn't able to answer her question. And they say mom knows best! So it is right that whatever will be, will be.

I have watched a video of Caroline Casey telling the world of her triumph over her congenital blindness. A successful woman who has courage to do all because she didn't limit herself in a box. Her self worth is so strong it took her 17 years before she learned she was blind. Huh? How will you know green from green if you're blind? But she did! If you grow up knowing some facts, you don't lose it just because you grow old. Instead you store that and learn new facts. How come she didn't notice she was blind? How come you didn't notice your fly was open? Because she grew up knowing what she is "seeing" is norm. That there is nothing wrong with it. That walking around with your fly open is not embarassing not until someone points it at you and smirks commenting on it.

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever wondered how you came to BE? Why you have that consciousness and not that of another? Just think and look around. Be aware of your surroundings and detach yourself. What do you feel? Are you really meant to be at this place at this time? Is this the right time? If this is your conscious mind, and if you happen to look in the mirror and see a different face aside from yours registering with your conscious mind, will you feel different or it won't matter? After all, our conscious mind is just the battery of our living body. I remember thinking like this when I was young. Maybe 7 or 8 years old. I was staring at our ceiling seeing the roof (bubong) markings. You see, we were poor that we don't have a proper ceiling. The metal roof is what comprises our ceiling. So I was there, lying on my parents bed (our only bed) that time and asking myself, if I wasn't born here with my family, where will I be? Where will my consciousness be? If my mom and dad didn't marry, will I still exist? Can my consciousness be recycled? As of now I still don't know the answer to that. Part of me believes in reincarnation, but that is a different topic altogether.

One thing is for sure. I never pictured myself here in Germany. I didn't even know where Germany was located in the map even before I got here. I was just a promdi (from a rural area) girl trying to get away from a very conservative upbringing. From an old culture that depicts woman as housewife, great cook and loving wife. Yap, I was able to rebel on that label. I am a workaholic career woman, who just learned to cook and bake because I miss homecooked meal (see my other webblog), and a spinster.

What I do know is that I believe in the power of the mind. Making things happen by believing and claiming it. I have read a Mind Power Book when I was in college. Its an exhausting book to read and the meditating routine was so tasking that I wasn't able to finish it. But i believe in all the summation sit give that if we put our mindset to something, it can happen.

I used to teach personality development in my old penurious caregiver school. I told my students that we all need to continue to make ourselves grow mentally, financially, spiritually, socially and family-wise. 5 stages of personality growth that we need to balance to live a successful life. In any book about this topic, I have encountered the never ending wish list. That you should write down in a small notebook of all your wishes. Big or small, possible or not. But a wish list should be specific. I even remember reading an article about a wish list on one of Bo Sanchez' books. I gave testimony to my students that when I was growing up, I always wanted some stuff. When I drew pictures and daydream (which is a lot), I will add some stuff like lovebirds, an aquarium, a nice tended garden, nice high heeled shoes and mini vacations, credit cards, calling card, atm card, and even a green card. And lo and behold! I did get all of that (except the green card) when I started working. I didn't notice that what I've been slowly investing in was a realization of my childhood dream. A fulfillment to a fantasy. It may be mundane to some but it was a great deal for me. Because of that, I fervently believe in the power of the mind. So I made my own new wish list which I have been updating ever since. Some of them I have crossed out because those are wishes came true. Like a trip abroad, tour with the family, dollar account and even a drivers license. But important thing is to keep on adding to the list because life has no limit. Everything is possible if we put our mind into it. Important is, we have the mindset to go about it. To act on it. Surely there are pitfalls. Hey, I specifically wished to be married at the age of 27. But almost a decade has past and I'm still single. Do I need to cry my eyes out for a failed item om my wish list? Of course not! I'm blessedly happy being single. Life has a purpose and I'm embracing it. This is not the end. At the end of the day, we all still don't know what we will be or if this is IT.