Big Cloud

One-Man Band

2012-01-31T09:18:00.000-05:00

Much earlier in my youth ministry career, I was a one-man band. I did it all: teaching, worship leading, newsletter publishing, event planning, counseling, game leading, retreat pastoring, t-shirt designing, MC.

I thought that's what I was supposed to do. After all, I was gifted, talented, and full of personality. I was the guy. How wrong I was.

I was sitting at a national youth ministry conference (I'm sure looking down my nose at the thousands of other youth pastors who didn't have my charisma), and the speaker said these words: Find the one or two things you are really good at, and build a team to do the rest.

At first I struggled with those words on two levels: First, my arrogance prevented me from seeing the one or two things that I was really good at. I thought I was really good at everything. Second, I wasn't sure I could let go of some of the things I did as a youth pastor and trust them in the hands of others.

But I was determined to be an even better youth pastor, and I respected the speaker who said those words, so I went home from the event with a new resolve: Build a team, and multiply ministry effectiveness.

That was many years ago, and I am grateful I learned that truth back then. Here are some of the values I learned:

There are people who can do things much better than I can. Our student ministry newsletters (this was before the internet and web publishing) took on an entire new dimension when a gifted writer/creative took it over. I actually had leaders who were funnier than I was in front of crowds, who made me look boring.
There is huge value in building a team. The event (worship service, retreat, camp, service project, etc.) will be better when planned and executed by a team. But better than that, the team will be greater because of the time spent praying, planning, and working together.
Having a team allows me to pour myself into others and mentor them. By doing everything myself, I was not teaching others how to do ministry. By allowing others to take on ministry responsibilities, I was helping them build their skills, develop their giftings, and exercise their callings.
My effectiveness multiplied. As I poured into a team, they in turn could pour into others (adults and students), thus extending ministry effectiveness well beyond my personal ability. Simple math.
It doesn't all depend on me. Years ago I had scheduled a retreat with our middle school students. I was going to do it all: worship leading, games, teachings, small group discussion leading, everything. The night before we were to leave for the retreat my wife went into labor with our first child. I couldn't go on the retreat. And there was no team to pick up the slack on the one or two things I was scheduled to do. I was going to do it all. It was disaster in the making. (A colleaugue on our staff led the retreat in my place. I am still grateful to him for salvaging my poor leadership.)

I am grateful that I began to learn that powerful truth (lie) of the one-man band when I did. Conducting the orchestra seems to suit me more. Plus it sounds a whole lot better...

Question: What other values can be achieved by not being a one-man band? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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My Mom: A True Visionary

2012-01-24T08:18:00.001-05:00

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My 83 year old mother is visiting us this week. Spending time with her I am reminded how much of a true visionary she is. The stories she is relating and the ones I remember her telling in past conversations highlight this.

She was born into a poor farming family in Hungary, (Seven people lived in a one-room house.)

She came to America as a 10 year old just before the onset of World War II. (Her ship was torpedoed and sunk by a German U-boat on its return voyage.)

Living in an immigrant neighborhood in New York, she learned English attending public school. (The first months were difficult: it was not a Hungarian-speaking school.)

After graduation from high school, she got a job at the makeup counter in Macy's, and then became a fashion model for the store. (She was stunning...she still is!)

Mom married the man who would become my father, and a few years later found herself as a 34 year old widow with three small children.

The stories continue: many of them I remember as life events because I was there. What distinguishes my Mom is that through all the difficulties she experienced, she always had vision.

Her and my father began an exclusive clothing company, where my Mom designed and made the clothes, later hiring and managing a factory of seamstresses to work for her as my father traveled and sold the product line to high-end stores.

She wanted to be a painter: my Mom makes beautiful creations using multiple mediums and materials. (She presented my wife and me new pictures from her hand this visit.) Mom wanted to write: now she regularly contributes to devotion books.

My mother re-married, had another child, and gave herself to instilling vision into her children. She encouraged us to follow our dreams: "You can be anything you want to be" she would often say. (The result: a Doctor, a College Professor, a Property Manager, and a Pastor.)

Being creative herself, she encouraged the arts in her children. (One of my sisters is a published author, one of us is a songwriter/producer, all of us are musicians or singers.)

And now as she nears her 84th birthday, my Mother, who has a sharp sense of humor, continues to live out a visionary life. She related to me the other day, "I hope I don't die soon. I have too much I want to do."

She paints, she sews, she supports missionary efforts around the world, and she has a prayer list that goes on for pages. Her new "family" vision is for her eight grandchildren, constantly encouraging and challenging them to follow their dreams, to pursue their passions, and to "be anything they want to be".

That's my Mom at 83: a true Visionary!

Question: Who do you know that has consistently been a true visionary throughout their life, and has inspired your vision? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Twins

2012-01-17T09:57:00.000-05:00

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My very first youth pastor leadership role back in 197... a long time ago, found me as a idealistic college student overseeing a middle school ministry. Of course I had an incredible team of adults standing beside me, and my mentor and youth ministry hero shepherding me.

Probably one of the most unique things about this group was that among the 50+ students that identified themselves with us on a regular basis, there were three sets of identical twins. Perhaps this was a statistical anomaly to be celebrated, but I still found myself often disoriented as I stood in front of the group and saw identical faces scattered throughout the crowd.

Two sets were boys, one set was girls. One set of boys did all they could to separate themselves from each other, both in proximity and in dress, hair style, etc. This was a big help to me.

The other set of boys and the girls dressed alike, acted alike, sat together, and always approached me to talk as a pair. (Thanks a lot!)

It was easy for all around me to see that: 1) I was an insecure rookie youth pastor, 2) I was seeking to impress the other adults who worked with me, and 3) I didn't have a clue to what I was doing. Add to that three sets of identical twins comprising over 10% of the group and I was in way over my head.

The girls even went so far as to contribute to my confusion by swapping name tags, adopting the other's nuances, and conspiring with some of the students to use the identical twin card to constantly keep me off-balance.

A lot of creativity, quick wit to cover mistakes, and "weaseling" went on during those first few years of ministry.

But I did take away some powerful lessons from that experience:

No matter how hard people try to be like others, everyone is still unique, and they deserve to be treated that way. Even the twins who tried to be like their counterpart were very different. Celebrate the differences in people.
Everyone has something about them that they may not be happy about. Sometimes the twins confided that they didn't like the fact that there was someone who looked just like them. Be sensitive to hurtful things that we may perceive as accepted.
We shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. I was trying very hard to make a good impression on my adult leadership team, to make sure the all of students liked me, and to make my mentor proud of me. Be yourself, and allow others to accept you the way you truly are.

I am grateful for the confidence that my mentor placed in me to turn me lose in that role. I am grateful for the adults who allowed me to make mistakes without judgement. I am grateful for the students who responded to my leadership, some of whom are still friends after 30+ years.

Question: What is a unique situation that you have you been placed in that became a powerful learning tool for you? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Go Fly A Kite

2012-01-10T09:40:00.002-05:00

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Several weeks ago Zachariah, one of my children, came to visit with his family. While Zach and his bride went kayaking, I took their daughter Charlotte to the island to fly our kite.

I bought the kite many years ago when Zach was just a baby, and would take my oldest son Eric kite flying. We had great fun and great conversation, as he and I would fly the kite while Zach would sit in his infant carrier under the shade of a tree.

As Zach grew, I would take him kite flying. He too had great fun controlling the kite, making if dive and soar. Great memories and great relationship building.

Because kite flying had become an important rite of passage with my boys, when my daughter Elisha Michelle had grown enough, I knew it was time to expose her to the joys of para-foil aerodynamics.

The first time we went, we headed to a park with a huge field, stopping at a bagel shop on the way for a couple of bagels-to-go (my Jewish heritage). I was excited: the sun was bright, the sky was clear, and there was a wonderful breeze blowing.

We proceeded to launch the kite, letting the string play out while the updrafts and currents caught. I showed her how to reel in some of the string to catch the right current, instructed her on thermal lift, and sought to encourage her as she worked the kite.

She kept eyeing the adjacent playground, and finally handed me the string and told me she wanted to go play on the swings. Thinking I could keep her interest I said, "We'll eat our bagels now'" hoping she would want to return to the kite when we finished.

We ate the bagels, then my daughter began to walk to the playground. I gathered the kite and string, put it in my car, and spent the next hour playing on the playground with my daughter.

Now, many years later when she recalls the experience, she says that "Dad bought us bagels".

My granddaughter Charlotte: We flew the kite for a little while, then spent a long time walking along the shore counting dead jellyfish. I have a feeling the dead jellyfish will be the main memory for her.

But that's OK! Whether it be bagels or dead jellyfish it's a memory, and memories are a big part of the bond that connects relationships.

Question: What are you doing to create memories and build bonds in your relationships? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Sagging Pants In India

2012-01-02T21:11:00.001-05:00

On one of my recent India trips, our team had stopped at a roadside café in the middle of the Himalayan foothills in Jammu-Kashmir to grab some breakfast. (Picture an open-air pavilion rather than an IHOP.) Not being a big breakfast eater, I got some tea and wandered around, trying to engage the locals.

As I stood on the side of the road which bordered a forest, I noticed a boy of about 12 carrying firewood out of the trees and over to his family's humble tea stall (a roadside stall that sold tea to passers-by). It was obvious that this was the only source of income for the family, and that it wasn't a very lucrative endeavor.

The boy, who was dressed in a pair of tattered pants about four sizes too big for him, was struggling to carry the wood, navigate the path out of the trees, and keep up with his father's demands for a constant supply of fresh firewood.

It was almost comical, because as the boy would walk, his pants (which were missing any sort of button or belt) would begin to slide down, and he would have to release one of his hands on the wood to grab his pants before they dropped to an embarrassing level. By letting go of the armful of wood to grab his pants, the load became unbalanced and would dump on the ground.

I wanted to help the boy carry the firewood, but I knew that this would only be a temporary fix to a larger problem.

Then some creativity kicked-in, and I remembered that I carried safety pins in my shaving kit. I retrieved one from my bag in our vehicle, and cautiously approached the tea stall. Knowing only a few basic words in the native Urdu language, I used a series of motions, pointing, and demonstrations on myself of the value of a safety-pin for the situation at hand.

The father finally realized that I wasn't a threat and that I genuinely wanted to help his son. He took the safety-pin from me, smiled big and offered me some tea. Refusing the tea would have been a dishonor, but I didn't want there to be any "payment" for my simple act of kindness.

Fortunately for me, our van was loading and I was delaying our departure. I waved goodbye and ran to the van. We pulled away, and that was the last I saw of the boy with the sagging pants.

Question: Do you have a story of spontaneous creativity that helped you solve a problem? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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The Great Gift Return

2011-12-27T09:35:00.001-05:00

It began on Christmas Day: People heading to the stores to return gifts. Barely out of the gift wrap and into receivers hands, newly acquired gifts became commodities to exchange, pooled for greater value, or to simply to cash-in.

We've all done it: The sweater we received from our Mother-in-law, the duplicate console game, the unwanted book we'll never read.

The bottom line: We don't like it, we don't want it, or we'd rather have something else.

And that leads me to the subject of this Blog post: The Great Gift Return.

Just like Christmas or Birthday gifts, we sometimes treat our talent/personality gifts in the same way. We don't like them, we don't want them, or we'd rather have something else.

"I wish I could sing like her." "It would be great if I could write a book." "Why can't I be more creative?"

Could it be that we secretly want to dance with the stars, that we picture ourselves on the stage instead of Taylor Swift, that being the Ultimate Fighter is our ultimate fantasy?

May I offer this:

Be secure in how you were created. The Great Creator made no mistakes when He equipped you the way He did. Find what you can do and do it well!
Do all that you can to cultivate, improve on, and leverage your giftings. Raw talent is a good start, but one must invest in themselves over one's lifetime.
Learn new skills in addition to improving those that you have. There may be some latent creative seeds ready to bloom inside of you.

Disappointment over what we didn't get is a reality in Christmas gift receiving, and in talent/personality gift receiving. You can either accept what you have been given and make the best of it (not resignation but capitalization), or you can attempt a return. Good luck with that.

Question: When have you wished you could do something like someone else? Share your thoughts below in comments.

The Season Of Selfishness

2011-12-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

You've seen them: The crowds in the malls and the stores. You've stood in them: Seemingly endless lines at the check-out register. You've waited in it: Slow cooks, servers, and customers at your favorite restaurant. What do these all have in common? People.

Who makes up those crowds? Who waits in those lines? Who serves us our meal? People.

These are the very same people who make up our worlds, who contribute to our society and economy, and who ultimately meet our needs. They move from being essential to being in the way.

I was troubled by a post this week where the writer said he would appreciate a Christmas gift while at the stores: More check-out registers open to accommodate the added customers. What troubles me is that in the season of giving, there seems to be an added layer of selfishness in many people. Joy to the World and Peace on Earth have been replaced with O, Come on Already and What Inconvenience is This?

May I offer a solution? (This solution does not involve making all of your Christmas purchases online.) Find creative ways to spend your waiting time during this busy time of the year.

Look for opportunities to encourage those who must work to serve you: Smile, be thankful (say it), leave a bigger tip...
See the people around you as frustrated, aggravated, and inconvenienced (kind of like the way we feel), and do something to brighten their day: Let someone in front of you in line, hold the door, tell an elderly person they "look good..."
Go the extra step with those who are seeking to make a difference of their own: Buy a cup of coffee for the Salvation Army bell ringer, send an anonymous thank-you note to the home of a family that decorates their house promoting the real meaning of Christmas (their address should be on the mailbox), take the gift card you received and drop it off at your church or local charity...

Simple, creative gift-giving that can go a long way toward changing the way we see the people who make our lives inconvenient during this joyous time of year.

Question: What are some of your ideas for moving from selfishness to giving? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Commuting Observations

2011-12-13T11:41:00.000-05:00

Like most Americans, I commute to work every day. Same time, same route. Depending on how quickly I get out the door in the morning, usually the same commuters.

This morning, a lady in a dark blue SUV was behind me for the first 5 minutes, talking on her cell phone while her son sat next to her, bored & ignored.

I noticed the usual service-business-owners (their trucks had information on them) on the way to their first call. Many looked tired.

Needing to drive on the main artery that feeds a local Air Force base, I travel with a lot of military commuters. They too are going to their jobs. I wonder if I will see them tomorrow, or if they will be deployed to the other side of the world. I am thankful for their service.

Of course there are the other Mini Cooper owners that pass me (or I sometimes pass). We do the "three-finger-Mini-wave" and continue on.

One of my regular favorites: a Harley rider, completely uniformed in a pot helmet, leather jacket, gloves, jeans, leather chaps, chained wallet, and on his feet... Crocks!

Tomorrow I will see some of the same drivers, in the same vehicles, making the same commute. Life will go on.

By the way, the lady in the dark blue SUV talking on the cell phone: She reappeared behind me at a red light 15 minutes later, still talking on the phone, still ignoring her son.

Question: What do you observe during your commute? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Stop For A Minute...

2011-12-06T10:45:00.000-05:00

You are busy. Everyone is. Stop for a minute...

You have your job. Some have more than one job. Stop for a minute...

You have your family. Some have more than one family. Stop for a minute...

You have your recreation. Some have more than one recreation activity. Stop for a minute...

You have your cooking, cleaning, shopping, gift wrapping, card writing, rehearsals, kids activities, travel, school finals, project deadlines, bolg posting, creative endeavors, bill paying, Facebook updating, leading, influencing, relationship building, ministry, exercising, and on and on...

Stop for a minute...

May I suggest that in the whirlwind of your activity, you stop for a minute... Catch your breath, refocus yourself, and ask what is the purpose behind the activity I am involved in right now?

Many of the things that we are doing are not our choice: we must do them. But at this time of year, some of the things we are doing are our choice. A good question to ask is why?

Stop for a minute...

Question: Are there activities you are doing this Christmas season that are not very purposeful, but are simply something you do? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Spectator Or Participant

2011-11-29T10:01:00.002-05:00

For the first time on 20+ years, I will not be participating in some form of Christmas musical production. I have either produced, written, directed, acted, played in the band/orchestra, set-constructed, staged-handed or some combination of those. I miss it.

I truly hope that I can say with all honesty that the main thing I miss is not the spotlight, the applause, and my name in the playbill. Rather, the thing I miss most is being a part of a multiple-entity that joined together, produces a grand display for others to be challenged by, encouraged, and moved by.

Is this because I am a creative, and I desire to invest my creativity into other's lives? I'll admit that is a great part of it. But I also believe that people desire to be a part of something greater than themselves, something that joins multiple people and giftings, and creates an entity bigger than them.

Which leads me to the question: Why are so many people content with being spectators, rather than participants? I am not referring to musical productions. But rather to life. Why are many people satisfied with watching the parade instead of marching in it?

Or are they satisfied?

Perhaps deep down everyone longs to be a part of something big, something that combines them with others to produce a greater whole. If that is true, then I hope I can be one who motivates others to take that first step.

Find people who share your passion or gifting. Join yourself to a cause that fulfills your desire to contribute. Align yourself with an organization that invests into others, and seeks to change lives.

This year I plan to attend a production written by a friend and former collaborator. I will sit in the audience, but I will not be satisfied with being a mere spectator. Instead, I plan on encouraging and motivating those who are involved, and therefore becoming a participant.

Question: What are your thoughts on people desiring to be participants rather than spectators? Share your thoughts below in comments.

ThanksGiving Or ThankSharing

2011-11-22T11:07:00.001-05:00

For as long as I can remember, I have sought to go against the status quo, to buck the system. Instead of doing what everyone else is doing, I desire to make my own way. Some call it rebellion. I like to think of it as creativity.

Oftentimes when we redefine something in new terms, we find ourselves rediscovering something that we already knew, but have become so familiar with that it no longer carries the weight it once did.

Automobile manufacturers redesign the same model of car every few years. Worship leaders are doing this with the old hymns, singing them with a new style or writing a chorus that complements the original song.

It's not reinventing the wheel. It's putting an alloy rim and a low profile tire on it.

So consider ThanksGiving. What does it mean to you? How do you celebrate? Has it become solely a day of stuffing more than the turkey and watching football on TV?

I have renamed it ThankSharing. Not a change-the-culture move, but only for my personal benefit. Why: To refocus it away from just the prayer before the "big meal" to asking myself, What can I do to share the blessings that I have?

I'm probably not going to volunteer at a soup kitchen or give the homeless guy with a cardboard sign on the corner extra money. Rather, I am going to share more: Encouragement, kindness, food, possessions, hope. And not just to make me feel better. But as a way to really give thanks.

Question: What can you do to redefine ThanksGiving in your life? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Managing Projects Or Leading Creatives

2011-11-15T12:02:00.001-05:00

Many times I have been asked about a good way to manage creatives. Anyone who works with people knows that working with a group of creatives is like trying to pilot a ship with sails, engines, and six rudders. The resources are there to capture the wind, to produce power, and to go in six different directions... at the same time!

Let me first say that I shy away from the term manage, but rather adopt the term lead. Managers oversee projects, leaders develop people. Even if your title has the word manager in it, you can still be a leader. It's how you view your role: bottom lines or better people.

Most of my experience in leading creatives is in the music world. Here is a place where creativity and artistry abound. So does individuality and pride.

I understand the mind and heart of a musician-creative, because I am one. For over 30 years I have personally navigated the tension that is produced when a creative works with other creatives. Each has their idea, style, and concept, and most think theirs is the best.

As a leader-creative, the tension is even greater because my own energies are seeking an audience, while at the same time my leadership heart is desiring to allow others to reach their full potential. This can become powerfully destructive, or powerfully creative.

Here are some things that I have learned in working with creatives:

Leading creatives is a delicate and changing process. There is not one general leadership style that applies to all creatives. Rather, we need to know the strengths and weaknesses of each person, and lead them in a style that they would best respond to. This requires work on our part.
We can never sacrifice character for creativity. Overlooking character for the sake of the project will eventually become a liability. Too many creatives have "crashed and burned" because they were allowed to "be themselves" to the detriment of others, and of relationships.
We don't have to be the best creative to lead creatives. Early in my work with musicians I was driven to be the best keyboardist, guitarist, bassist, and vocalist (I gave up on drumming - too much to think about) among those that I led. I realized that my effectiveness was multiplied as I sought to lead those who carried superior skill and gifting, rather than trying to be better than them. I was released to encourage and challenge them to be better, thus making the whole better. (A side benefit: my involvement with them raised my skill level in the gifting where they excelled.)

Leading creatives is much more challenging and involved that simply managing a project. But the results in terms of personal growth, project excellence, and character development are well worth the investment in the creatives we lead.

Question: How have you navigated the delegate world of leading creatives? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Chaos To Creativity

2011-11-08T12:55:00.000-05:00

Have you ever looked at something, and at first glance it appears chaotic: your desk at work, your closet at home, your 'junk drawer' in the kitchen?

If you are like me, some areas of your life are not completely ordered. Your workspace may feel cluttered, your car is a collection of parking receipts and empty water bottles, your desktop is a collage of icons. Chaos.

What about your life? For me there are times when there is simply too much stuff piled up, with no appearance of order and no encouragement to work through it. Chaos.

Chaos defined is a state lacking order or predictability. Does that sometimes describe your life?

Here are a few things we can do when confronting the chaos in our lives:

Correct - Is there something you are doing or not doing that is leading to a chaotic life? Are there choices you are making or simply avoiding that add to the 'mess' you are trying to move through?
Convert - What can you take that is currently adding to the chaos in your life and change into something productive: Are demands being put on you at work? Delegate. Too much 'stuff' and possessions? Downsize.
Create - Many creatives start with a blank sheet and write a song, draw a picture, or choreograph a dance. Yet some creatives produce new works out of old, used, and piled-up stuff. Kind of like beauty for ashes, a trademark of The Creator. Is there something in your chaos that you can use to create something new?

My wife loves to play Words With Friends on her iPhone. She's pretty good at it because she has the unique ability of seeing a group of random letters (chaos) and creating words with them. Most of her opponents resign. I simply avoid playing her.

Step back and look at your chaos. If you observe with a new perspective you might see something new, fresh, and beautiful... and something that works for you!

Question: What is chaotic in your life that you can create from? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Encouraging Dreams: Our Children

2011-11-01T09:56:00.003-05:00

I am listening to an MP3 of a colleague's daughter singing at an Arts Expo done by their church. Good stuff. A young, aspiring musician: The kind of person I love to encourage.

I noticed three things in the process of me receiving this audio clip:

How proud my colleague was when she began talking about her daughter, and her daughter's dreams.
The fact that the daughter (a young adult) was willing to put herself out there in a situation where she could fail, face humiliation, and discouragement.
That were others involved in her daughter's life (her Youth Pastor) who were encouraging and influencing her.

Good lessons here. A proud parent is an encouraging parent. No soapbox here, but don't just let your encouragement to your children only be about sports, talent, and looks. Be proud of who they are. Highlight their character over looks and ability, especially sports. One injury and it could be over athletically for a child. Then what?

Encourage your children to dream, to take risks. To follow a dream one must move, pursue, and strive. That means leaving a comfortable place. Be ready to help them pick up the pieces of disappointment when dreams are not immediately realized, or a disappointing experience happens to them.

Allow others to pour into and encourage your children. Mentors and other influential adults go a long way toward helping our children pursue their dreams. A collective motivation and influence is a good thing. Allow your children to share their dreams with others who will help them fulfill those dreams.

Question: Who was influential in your life, encouraging you to pursue your dreams? Share your thoughts below in comments.

My Birthday Wish:

2011-10-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday. Actually, it is a special birthday because today marks a huge milestone in my life: I am now 55 and can take advantage of many of the senior discounts that are offered. To those of you who know me personally, saving money is a big part of my life. Some say I am frugal. Most know I'm just cheap.

As I was meditating early this morning on this passing of yet another year of my life, and the many friends and acquaintances who have wished me a Happy Birthday, I made a resolution: Today I am seeking to make it a special day for everyone else: Those I come into contact with during the normal course of my day.

I am not saying this to bring attention to myself, to elevate myself above others, or to sound holier-than-thou. Rather, I am going to live my life today as (hopefully) I seek to live it on any other day: Encouraging, influencing, and pouring into others.

I am grateful for the celebration of my Birthday, and to those who celebrate it with me. I can only hope that it is actually my life that is being celebrated, and not just one day.

My Birthday Wish: That others may experience life the way it was meant to be lived, and that they may fulfil their destiny!

Question: What would your birthday wish? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Success!

2011-10-18T12:25:00.001-05:00

Do you want to be successful? Do you dream of finishing your life having "arrived"? Are there goals that you have set for yourself that you feel if attained, would give you the label success?

Popular culture has created a picture of success that is somewhat distorted, rather than based on our created purpose and called pursuit. We want our 15 minutes of fame, our lottery-ticket-instant-riches, and our American Idol record deal.

Boys dream of making the buzzer-beating shot to win the championship, or sinking the birdie putt on the last hole. (Well, maybe grown men who didn't make it as basketball players fantasize about the 18th green.)

If girls still dream of their knight in shining armor, his horse needs to be tricked-out, he must have a fat 401k, and his castle better have plenty of rooms.

If most of us believe that wealth, power, and prestige are the pathway to success, allow me to offer an alternative path:

Grounded - We need to have anchors that are not based on the stock market, our win-loss record, or our looks and abilities. There must be something bigger than we are that we trust in, believe in, and look to for security. Relying on the wind of prevailing opinion or popular culture to dictate our success will ultimately end in failure. A sailboat without an anchor will be blown in multiple directions during a storm.
Growing - We cannot achieve a level of success and become complacent, satisfied with where we are. We must always be learning, expanding, growing. This applies both professionally and personally. Age is not a factor either. Once we cease growing, we begin dying. Looking forward multiplies success. Looking down at where we are encourages stagnation.
Giving - Those who have are responsible to share: ideas, lessons, resources, and time are valuable commodities that when invested into the lives of others encourage a culture of success. Hoarding not only promotes isolation, but also robs others of their chance to grow. A tree will never become more than a tree unless it bears fruit, that in turn is transformed into multiple trees.

True success isn't measured in what one has acquired or has achieved, but rather in one's character, cultivation, and contribution.

Question: What other thoughts do you have on true success? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Creative Expression: Multiplied

2011-10-11T10:22:00.000-05:00

This Friday evening, our ministry is hosting an event called Fire by Night. (Please know that I am not using this Blog post to unashamedly promote the event. But, if reading this motivates you to join us, I'm OK with that!)

Fire by Night is designed to be an evening for the wider community of Christians to come together for expressive worship and passionate prayer. Simply put, we will worship and cry out to our Lord.

Events like these play a greater role in the life of creatives (and I believe that all of us are creative, because we were made in the image of The Creator, and therefore we have that quality in our DNA) because there is an atmosphere that fosters creativity beyond what we might normally experience.

Here are three specific goals and benefits that we anticipate during this evening:

Diverse Community - Bringing together other people from various faith communities will always create a fresh environment to express ourselves in. The same reason my wife and I love to try new ethnic foods is why it is good to be exposed to other fellow-worshippers. It stretches us, enriches us, and exposes us to something new we might like.
Expansive Expression - An environment where time and style are not constraints allows for creative expression that goes beyond our comfort zone. As Blog and column writers faced with deadlines and content restriction seem to flourish at writing novels, so does an atmosphere where creative expression is encouraged.
Multiplied Effect - More worshippers means abundant declaration. Combined passion means greater affirmation. One trumpet is loud, two trumpets twice as loud, but a brass band will shake a building.

When one adds the intangibles that are benefits of an event like this, the level of creativity (and in this case the level of worship) grows exponentially!

Question: When have you been involved in a wider creative expression, and what were the results you experienced? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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Fall Colors

2011-10-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

One thing I am going to miss by living in Florida is the beautiful fall colors in the more northern regions of our country. Yes, around here I may come across a random tree that has a hint of gold in its leaves, but all in all, the spectacular beauty of the changing of colors in fall foliage will be missed.

As I was reflecting on this, I began to think about the change that takes place during this time, and how this change can provide lessons and encouragement for all of us. Here are some of my thoughts about change that came from this exercise:

Change is inevitable - Just as autumn and the changing of colors comes every year, change in our lives, organizations, and ministries will happen also.
Change is required - Our earth needs the fall change to prepare for winter, then spring and summer. The "other hemisphere" (depending on where you live) needs the tilting of the earth to change so they can experience those same transitions.
Change is sometimes hidden - Even though my geography will limit my seeing the change that fall colors announce, I know that change is happening.

Here are some conclusions that I drew from these thoughts:

Value change - As you are required to (or choose to) make changes in your life, your organization or ministry, appreciate it. Look forward to the potential outcome. Embrace change, rather than dread or resist it.
Prepare for change - Leverage your resources, energies, and focus as you see change coming. If you know you must change, don't wait for the last minute to get ready for it.
Enjoy change - It's going to happen. One might as well live within it with optimism, rather than with fear. Find ways to appreciate change, to mobilize it, to leverage it for more than the expected outcome.

I may miss the visual evidence of this fall season, but I know the change is happening. I'm all in.

Question: How do you value, prepare for, and enjoy change in your life? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Blind Thinking

2011-09-27T15:29:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't know, I am a pastor in a church in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. One of my responsibilities involves sharing the Sunday preaching/teaching with the other member of my co-pastor team.

Well it's my week, and I am sitting in a Starbucks preparing for this coming Sunday. I am focusing on the story of a blind man in the Bible who encounters Jesus, and has his life changed. Forever.

Why am I sharing this? Well, I am not trying to leverage my Blog to draw local readers to come hear me this Sunday (although if you are in the area, you're invited to GraceChurch at 10:30). I'm really not.

Also, I am not trying to build myself up by creating an image of self-importance (you're a Pastor?).

No, I mention this because I have been trying to put myself in the blind beggar's sandals to understand what it must be like to live with that condition (being blind, not begging in sandals - although that might be another consideration).

As a creative, I wonder what it would be like to lose one of my senses. I have sometimes thought that I could live without sight rather than without hearing (because a musician depends on his/her ears). But for life in general, I think I would rather see.

One thing I do know: Blind people don't wrestle with questions like these. Instead, they live within their boundaries. They make the most of their situation. They "see" whole new worlds. They deal with it.

Hmmmmm... Another question: How well would I deal with it?

Question: How well would you deal with the loss of one of your senses? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Different Cultures, Or Just Different

2011-09-20T13:13:00.000-05:00

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This past Sunday at our church we had a "cross-cultural" worship service, where the members of our Hispanic sister congregation joined with our already somewhat multicultural congregation for one huge event.

Having had the privilege of spending 10 years on the pastoral team of Immanuel's Church, a large multicultural ministry in the Washington, DC area, I was able to bring some insight into the planning and execution of the service.

Three things were determined beforehand, that made for a smooth melding of two distinct ministries:

Leave room for Time - Having had a bit of experience with an interpreter (five different languages - not all at the same time though!), I understand that when delivering a message or teaching in another language, it will take more than twice as long. It is more than just translation: There are inflection, idioms, and illustrations that require a little more focus, which require a little more time. We prepared for that, and sought to keep the message short and simple.
Leave room for Style - One of my tasks was organizing the music and worship for the service. We combined our English-speaking team with the Spanish-speaking team. It was one thing to choose songs that we both knew, alternating the verses between English and Spanish. But there were many other variables: what key each team was accustomed to playing in, how introductions and endings were done, etc. Even though we worked all of this out in rehearsal, during the service the Spanish team repeated a chorus that we hadn't planned on, because that was the style they were used to.
Leave room for Culture - This is one of those intangibles that one can't always plan for, but should be prepared for. Americanized people are different than non-Americanized people. Worship is different, prayer is different, response is different. Americans put their babies in childcare. Hispanics bring their babies with them into worship. American culture is tied to a clock when running a rehearsal. Other cultures, well, you get my drift.

In the end, our combined worship service was a taste of heaven on earth. But more than that, the principles we used in the planning and execution of the service apply to every area where more than one person is involved, because all of us are different.

Question: What have you found to be helpful in dealing with multiple cultures, or even just other people? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Creative Cross-Training

2011-09-13T16:45:00.001-05:00

My oldest son is a brilliant musician. (Actually, all three of my children are brilliant musicians, but I am mentioning only one for this post.) I would attribute this brilliance to three things: natural talent, relentless practice, and cross-training.

My definition of cross-training is when creatives step outside of their usual form of expression, and develop other forms of expression. This could mean musicians learning to play a new instrument, visual artists using a new medium, or writers choosing a different genre.

It might even mean moving to a completely different art expression: musicians working in water colors, writers learning piano, sculptors writing poetry.

My son became an excellent piano player, taught himself the drums, and then laerned the guitar & bass. Today he is an accomplished producer with an incredible boundry-pushing creative edge.

Believing that everyone is creative (because we were made in the image of the Great Creator), here is my premise: Creativity breeds creativity. Moving our soul (which includes our heart and mind) into an area that stretches it by introducing and developing a new area of expression opens the door for an even greater capacity to create.

Simply put, learning to paint will make you a better writer. Learning to dance will make you a better actor. I know firsthand: learning to play the bass has made me a better keyboard player. (I'm not sure what makes a better dancer. Again, firsthand knowledge...)

I encourage you to stretch yourself, to try something new, to create beyond the familiar and the comfortable. You may be surprised by what will come of it.

Question: Has creative cross-training benefited you in your creativity? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Extreme Weather

2011-09-06T15:12:00.000-05:00

I have had the privilege of interacting with people from all over the country, and when it comes to the weather they pretty much all say the same thing: One thing you can count on here. The weather will change. (They may not be true in Arizona.)

If you looked at our nation's weather map for the last week, you would see drought (Texas), flooding (New England), wind & rain (Gulf Coast), and of course sunshine. Multiple extremes over a large area. If only the rain would fall where the drought was, and the flooding... well nobody wants flooding.

The drought will end (not too soon for the folks in Texas). The wind and rain receded here on the Gulf Coast (although now the Mid-Atlantic is dealing with it). And snow will be in selected areas soon.

My point is this: Just as there are extremes in the weather, there are extremes in our lives. It's how we weather those extremes that matters. We can still be productive, we can still have influence.

If your circumstances drive you to do something other than what you intended, don't sulk: adapt. It was rainy and windy for the entire three-day Labor Day weekend here. I couldn't work in the yard, but I was able to accomplish some inside tasks.
If you are prevented from using a familiar course of action to accomplish a goal, explore the unfamiliar and adapt it to your use. Running was impossible for three days, so I dusted off the treadmill and got my mileage in.
Don't allow adversity to frustrate you. Rather work through it, even of it is painful. I opened a door to let my dog out during a break in the rain and the wind blew the door into my forehead. I came away with a one-inch cut and a slight bump - plus it hurt. But, I continued what I was working on, and it looks like I survived.

You can weather pretty much any storm you encounter, and survive extreme conditions in your life. Trust in God, leverage your relationships for support, and press forward. One thing you can count on: It will change.

Question: What adaptations did you make to deal with extreme weather in your life? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Opening A Window

2011-08-31T10:26:00.000-05:00

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I have learned that it is good to give people a window to see inside of our lives, especially if we are leaders (and I believe that all of us are leaders, because all of us influence somebody).

Allowing others to see inside our window makes us a bit more transparent, a bit more relatable, a bit more human.

We all have struggles and seasons of our lives where we are faced with pressures, situations and relationships that stretch us beyond normalcy. If we constantly portray ourselves as living a no-struggle life, we risk alienating ourselves from those we lead by depicting an idyllic, unreal life. If we consistently portray our ourselves as Ironman, easily pressing through difficulties, then we become super-human and unapproachable.

So allow me to open a window and let you to see inside of my life for a moment.

In the last 8 months my family and I have experienced much transition:

My professional life has transitioned: I am seeking to be the best I can be at my day job in the insurance industry (which until April 5th I had no exposure to, except from the client side). A HUGE learning curve.
My financial life has transitioned: We went from saving a bit and contributing extra to mission work, to having to dip into our savings a little each month to pay our bills as I progress in the above-mentioned professional life.
My ministry life has transitioned: I left from being a senior leader on a team of 13 pastors of a large regional church, and am now partnering with a good pastor friend leading a small ministry that is undergoing a huge makeover.
My family life has transitioned: In the last 8 months we relocated 1150 miles away from where we lived for 10 years, both of our children who lived with us have moved out on their own, and my wife (a life anchor - see below) and I just celebrated 35 years of marriage.
My personal life has transitioned: I am having to alter my "schedule" and run in the evenings, I have to squeeze reading and mentoring into 45-minute lunches, my musical practice times are short and few, and I rely on my iPhone apps to capture ideas so I can give them attention at a later time.
My Spiritual life has remained consistent: I understand the value of life anchors, so I have make it a priority to keep my time in prayer, Bible study, and personal renewal consistent.

What is happening in my life: Transition. How am I dealing with it: Relying on my life anchors, adjusting to the circumstances, and valuing relationships.

Question: How do you deal with transition in your life? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Constantly Changing

2011-08-23T16:04:00.000-05:00

There is a saying attributed to Benjamin Franklin that goes: The only sure thing are death and taxes.

Although that may be good folk wisdom, we know that there are some people mentioned in the Bible who escaped death and were simply translated into heaven, and and there are many who successfully evade taxes.

Things that we've always held as constant are changing. Who would have thought that America would be on the verge of not being the #1 economic power in the world? When you woke up this morning did you imagine that the Washington, DC area would feel its second earthquake in 13 months?

Some have said that the only constant is change. There are two types of people who excel in change: artists and leaders.

True artists (including musicians and writers) go with the flow, capture the moment, and create masterpieces. Those who don't stick with paint-by-number kits.

True leaders work with people: individual, unpredictable, uncommon. Those who don't are simply task managers.

When change comes into your life, allow me to encourage you to rise up, see opportunity, and create a masterpiece. Sing your song, influence people, make your mark.

Question: When has change allowed you to be be better? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Happy Anniversary

2011-08-16T08:53:00.001-05:00

This week my bride and I celebrate 35 years of marriage. I am a fortunate man, that my Creator set aside this wonderful woman as a gift for me.

Thirty-five years is a long time for anything. Longevity is a quality that is not-so-common in our culture. The years may not have been perfect, but they have been great.

Over these years, here are a few things that I have learned:

Being right is too overrated. If I can remove my pride and seek a solution or resolution over a 'win', then we both are right.
Listening is much more than hearing. So often I would hear my wife, but I wouldn't listen to what she was telling me.
Solving the problem is not as important as feeling the pain. Sure a solution may be necessary at some point, but understanding and empathizing with my wife is what she may need right then.
Allowing my wife to take care of me is one of her greatest desires. Being an I've got it covered, I'll take care of it type of person robs my wife of the joy of meeting my needs and helping me succeed.
Being a team is our destiny together. When we sing together, the harmony created is beautiful. When we live and serve together, the harmony is glorious!

Five years ago I wrote the following post on this Blog. Today I feel the same way, only more. Allow me to share it again as a conclusion.

Milestones. Landmarks. Waypoints. These are all significant events in our lives that not only separate our lives into periods, but also act as defining moments for us. We celebrate birthdays, rites of passage (first kiss, driver's license) and achievements. We can remember our high school graduations and our first dates. If we are married, we can remember our wedding day.

When we are younger, milestones act more as separations in our lives. They let ourselves and others see us as "before" and "after". We reference milestones as points of change.

Thirty years ago today, I took Elaine Odom as my wife. I remember beginning to cry as she appeared in the doorway, escorted by her brother, waiting to come down the aisle where I stood. I remember how she smiled when we held each other’s hands and recited our vows. I remember our kiss, her first as my bride.

Thirty years ago today, I reached a milestone in my life. I got married. Today is another milestone, as Elaine and I celebrate thirty years of marriage. My life is not so much separated by this day as it is defined by it.

Question: What are some things you have learned in your marriage? Share your thoughts below in comments.