A Feminist Blog

Religious Studies Classes in Primary School

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:00:00 +0000

Last semester I had an assignment to teach SOSE class (Society and Environment ... it can be considered equal to IPS subject in national school in Indonesia) in grade 4. As I wrote in one previous post, the materials to be discussed in the beginning of the book were about religions. (check this link) However, in the following chapters, the discussion was more on society.

This semester I no longer got that SOSE class in grade 4. However, I was assigned to handle ‘religion’ subjects in grade 3, 4, 5, and 6. As the teaching material, I downloaded it from this link. It means during this semester those classes will discuss – at a glance – Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism and Sikhism.

Below is my record of talking about ‘Buddhism’ in grade three and four. FYI, none of the students is Buddhist.

“Why are we discussing Buddhism, Miss? Are you Buddhist?” one student asked me.

So I answered that I was not Buddhist and during the religion subject, we would discuss some religions, such as Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, etc, not just one particular religion in order that they know some other religions too, not just their own.

Two things that attracted as well as surprised the students were
• Buddhists don’t have God to praise
• Buddhists do not know the existence of heaven and hell

It is easily concluded the cause why they find the two things above strange is because they have been raised in families where the parents adhere to Abrahamic religions – such as Christianity and Islam. I have never found any student who is a Jewish yet. Abrahamic religions have similarities on the teachings about the existence of God and heaven and hell.

“Then who created the universe if there is no God according to Buddhists?” one student in grade 4 asked.

Luckily one topic of SOSE grade 4 we discussed last semester was about how this universe was created in Australian Aborigine people’s belief. It started with:

“Time began when the supernatural beings awoke and broke through the surface of the earth. ...”

The supernatural beings mentioned were not related by any deity or god that then were praised or worshiped by human beings. Therefore, I reminded the students on our discussion last semester. There are in fact many groups of people in the world who have their own knowledge on how this universe was created at the very first place where they do not related it to god. When the students cannot understand how those people think about the creation of the universe without involving any god, they had better be wise to think that it is possible for those people not to believe any god’s involvement in the existence of the universe. Then it is the best to respect each other’s belief.

“If Buddhist people do not believe in heaven and hell, so where will the dead go?” was another question.

Reincarnation and ‘moksha’ are the two words to answer that question. The main symbol of Buddhism is the wheel of life which symbolizes the cycle of life and rebirth. Buddhist people believe in being born again after death. They will get a better life if in the present life they are good people. On the contrary, they will get worse life if they are bad people. Or even worse they will not be born as human being, maybe an animal.

And when someone has a perfect life – where the life of Siddhatta Gotama is used as one example – he or she will ‘moksha’ after death, just ‘gone’ in the air, he or she will no longer be born.

“What kind of life did Siddhatta Gotama have?” asked one student.

The material explained a little:

“He lived in the fifth century BC and was a prince born into a rich family. He had an easy life. However when he saw the suffering of old age, sickness and death, he decided to renounce his life in the palace and live among the holy men of the day in search of truth and enlightenment.”

To explain further I said Siddhatta Gotama was a rich prince that then left his wealth because he thought it was not fair to live such an easy life while poverty and sickness was everywhere.

“What? Is he crazy or something? I don’t get it!” the same student commented.

“Miss, it is difficult for me to believe in such teachings,” another student responded. Her parents are church activists.

Then I said to the students that the knowledge about Buddhism in religion class (later also other religions) is only for them to know and understand. It is not always to believe in.

GL7 13.23 19/01/12

Black Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 04:55:00 +0000

I am pretty much sure that this year is the first year I heard this term “Black Friday”. (“Hellooo ... where have I been before?” ) I instantly got attracted by this ‘occasion’ because it was very much connected to the Thanksgiving Day!

When I was pursuing my study in American Studies Graduate Program in Gadjah Mada University (2002-2005), I ‘(un)luckily’ attended the ‘commemoration’ of Thanksgiving Day at least twice, if I am not mistaken. In the first commemoration, the students of my batch (2002) made a small drama illustrating the coming of the ‘Pilgrims’ – the first settlers migrating to American land – by Mayflower ship. The Pilgrims then were helped by the Native American tribe to survive by planting corns, potatoes, etc as well as fishing. (poor those migrating British people didn’t know how to cultivate lands because they did not have lands in their home country). No Pocahontas was narrated in the story though. (Too bad, I do not have the pictures of our performance. I got only a little role, but in fact what Ibu Tati said was correct, I will always remember the commemoration.)

Black Friday 2011

The problem was as far as I remember, during my study, my classmates and I never talked about ‘Black Friday’. What the heck is this? Why ‘suddenly’ appeared this year in my life? I was thinking that perhaps this capitalist day started booming in America after I finished studying in American Studies Program.

Thank to the huge library in the internet. It is very easy for me to find the little history of Black Friday.

Wiki said that Black Friday is one day after Thanksgiving Day in every year when most major retailers open extremely early, often at 4 a.m. or earlier, and offer promotional sales to kick off the shopping season. Although it is not a holiday, some non-retail employers give their employees the day off, to increase the number of potential shoppers. “It has routinely been the busiest shopping day of the year since 2005,” Wiki claimed. Nevertheless, the use of the term in fact started before 1966 in Philadelphia and began to see broader use outside Philadelphia around 1975.

Belanja Lebaran 2009

Well, many people say that Thanksgiving Day can be compared to Lebaran holiday in Indonesia in the case of ‘mudik’ (it is said that on Thanksgiving Day many family members hold special dinner so that they will go home from wherever they live in order to gather with the parents and siblings), Black Friday is also similar to some days before Lebaran holiday where many retailers offer special promotional sales so that many people will buy a lot of things to welcome Lebaran. Even the government also obliges all companies to give annual bonus to the employees so that they can become more consumptive in this special holiday. The difference between shopping before Lebaran holiday and Black Friday is that for Lebaran holiday, people buy mostly clothes, shoes, or maybe bags (I cited my own habit LOL), maybe then people also buy some other stuff, such as electronic things or furniture, while on Black Friday, American people willingly wait for hours before some retailers open to get best buy for electronic things as the main target.

Well, if in the beginning Thanksgiving Day was not necessarily related to consumptive things, but the capitalism wants to make use of the occasion to get as much as profit, Lebaran holiday that I know has been always related to being consumptive since I was a kid. But I understand if my parents always wanted to buy new clothes for their kids since their financial condition enabled to do it only on Lebaran with the annual bonus my late dad got from his job.

P.S.:
just a piece of thought
#menulis agar tetap bisa eksis dan narsis :-p
GL7 11.05 071211

The two pics were taken from here and here

The Burning Plain

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 03:54:00 +0000

the poster of the movie

Is a woman still a woman without her breasts?

Apparently this case – breast cancer – triggered an affair between Gina (Kim Basinger) and Nick Martinez (Joaquim de Almeida); this affair then made them die in a fiery explosion in a trailer where they usually had dates. The death of these two people who were deeply in love made their kids lose their mother (Gina had 4 children) and father (Nick had 2 children).

Gina

If the reason is clear why Gina was involved in an affair with Nick – a married man – the movie doesn’t give clear illustration why Nick did that. Although Gina lost her left breast due to cancer, Nick loved her passionately; always gave her warm sensation and sexual satisfaction every time they dated. This was absolutely very contradictory to Gina’s husband who lost his passion toward his wife. Doesn’t everybody deserve to have and enjoy wonderful lovemaking with someone they love? Someone who has successfully made them accepted and loved just the way they are?

Without Gina and Nick’s knowing, Mariana (Jennifer Lawrence) – Gina’s eldest daughter – knew their affair. She even found out the place where they dated: a trailer located in a very spacious open plain. This made Mariana lose her respect toward her mother. In order to make Gina ‘come back’ to be a loyal wife to her father and a caring mother to the children, Mariana did something to stop the affair between her mother and Nick that accidentally killed them both.

young Mariana and Santiago

Deeply devastated due to the accident that made the two families hated each other, Mariana surprisingly accepted Santiago’s invitation – one son of Nick – to have a date. Not long after that, Mariana and Santiago (J.D. Pardo) even fell in love with each other and ‘copied’ what their parents did: having a forbidden love affair. When Mariana’s father found out this affair, he would kill Santiago. However, before this happened, Mariana asked Santiago to run away together. They went to Mexico to continue their life.

Mariana gave birth to a daughter that in fact made her very worried if the daughter would grow up to be like her. To avoid that, she even left the two-day baby girl with her dad.

In order to leave her dark past, Mariana changed her name to be Sylvia (Charlize Theron). She lived an economically successful life with her restaurant. Obviously, her beauty charmed many men so she had a lot of one-night-stand dates. She did not want to have one steady boyfriend because she was even worried to be heart-broken. She did not want to walk in her mother’s path either – let’s say by having a long-lasting relationship with John, one employee in the restaurant, who was married.

Sylvia in one attempt to commit suicide

Despite her success, the dark past kept following her: killing her mother and her boyfriend, breaking her father’s heart by having an affair with Santiago, leaving the family to live together with Santiago until she left her baby. No wonder if once in a while Sylvia looked depressed and wanted to commit suicide.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, Santiago got a very serious accident. Worried that something bad would take his life, Santiago asked his friend, Carlos to look for Mariana in order that Mariana (alias Sylvia) would take care of their only child, Maria.

Could Carlos find Mariana? Would he successfully beg her to come back to Santiago, especially to take care of Maria, the daughter that she left for more than a decade?

Maria, the daughter of Mariana and Santiago

Additional note:

It is quite interesting to pay attention to the ‘affair’ between Sylvia (Charlize Theron) and John (John Corbett), her own workmate. John who was married looked so possessive and jealous every time he saw Sylvia intimate with a guy. One time when she was dating one customer of her restaurant, John could not control himself. He embarrassed Sylvia by scolding her, in front of that guy, “Is that what you do? Fuck any guy you wanna fuck? And then just go?”

Sylvia responded, “Don’t mess up with my life, John. You don’t have me! Just overcome your own problem with your wife!”

Nevertheless, when one time Sylvia ‘challenged’ him to run away together, to leave everything they owned at that time, John refused. It proved that John was not different from any other man who dated Sylvia: only to have fun. The difference was if other men didn’t show exaggerating possessive character, John annoyingly did.

GL7 10.30 251111

Not Knowing is Better than Knowing?

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 22:15:00 +0000

I have been bothered by this 'contemplative' statement of my own, especially since the end of 2007 due to 'something unhappy' happened. (You can click the following site not-knowing.)

And this morning, this statement haunted me again while I was discussing 'Prejudice and Discrimination' in Christianity and Hinduism, in 'Religious Studies' class of grade 11. (I downloaded the material from Religious Studies ) To start the discussion, I gave two questions to discuss in pairs/small groups:

1. In Christianity, women cannot become priests.

2. In Hinduism, women are as important as men but they have different roles.

FYI, there were seven students in the class, three boys and four girls. One is from Denmark -- a brand new student -- while the others are Indonesian.

Point number 1: Women cannot become priests in Christianity.

The only student from Denmark -- a girl -- directly criticized this statement because she said she found many women becoming priests. She perhaps thought that this 'prohibition' was 'practiced' only in Indonesia. Therefore, I asked her to check the material where she read:

Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35

I divided the class into three small groups; the four girls worked in two pairs and the three boys in one group. The two pairs consisting of girls did not agree with the statement that women cannot become priests. They simply said that women are supposed to be equal with men. If a woman has as much knowledge and education as men, she can become priest for sure. The boys agreed that women cannot become priests because 'they look weird to be priests'. :)

And my time to 'bubble' came although I did not want to talk a lot. In the past even only some 'chosen' people could understand the Bible because it was not yet published in a language where 'common' people understood. Those 'chosen' people obviously were men because only men could study that special language. Only men got education in the past because education was expensive.

Then men -- using their male life experiences -- interpreted the so-called holy book. This inevitably resulted in gender-biased 'readings' where one of them was 'only men can become priests'.

The discussion then led us to talk a little about the struggle of Kartini. Now women in the whole world can get education as high as they want therefore women can become anything that they want.

Point number two: women are as important as men but they have different roles.

Pay attention to the word 'but'. As a language teacher, the word 'but' can always show the different treatment. Since the material mentioned

The Ramayana (Hindu text) tells the story of Lord Rama and his wife, Sita. Women are encouraged to be good wives and mothers and to follow the example of Sita.

I asked the students whether they were familiar with the story of Ramayana. Unfortunately, none of them has ever heard or red the story about Rama and Sita. Therefore, in short, then I narrated the story about Sita was kidnapped by an ugly giant called 'Dasamuka' (ten heads) in Indonesian version. After struggling to get Sita back, in fact, Rama did not believe that Sita was loyal to him. To test the wife's loyalty, Rama asked Sita to commit suicide. (Am I right? LOL.)

The end of this so-called fairy tale shocked my students since it did not end happily. Does this mean in Hinduism women must always be ready to commit suicide like what Sita did when the husband asked her to do so? The discussion made me remember the practice of 'suttee' in India long time ago (although I heard that it is still sometimes practiced in some minor ethnic groups in India?) where the wife had to throw her body to the fire to burn herself when the husband died. Everyone can guess how the information about 'suttee' practice shocked my students.

Can we still say that women are as important as men in Hinduism? (I am truly asking not judging.)

GL7 09.35 191011

I Need a Lamp

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 09:56:00 +0000

I NEED A LAMP IN FRONT

There was once a rich old man who did not like to give his money to charity. He had a good son who always told his dad that he should give his money away in the way of Allah.

The old man told his son that he could give it all away after his death.

The son told him that it would be too late for the father, for he should give it away now to be able to get the benefits in the hereafter.

The old man just would not listen.

One night the old man wanted to go out. It was very dark so he asked his son to carry a lamp and walk in front of him so he would be able to see.

The son obeyed his father but halfway he started walking behind his dad.

His father said:

“Why have you gone behind me? I can’t see! I need the lamp in front.”

The son said:

“Father! That’s exactly what I have been telling you. If you want light in the hereafter you have to give away what you have in the way of Allah before you die and not after.”

The old man finally understood what his son had been trying to tell him.

*copied from Society and Environment book D

Religious Studies Class

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 09:53:00 +0000

RELIGIOUS STUDIES CLASS

My experience in teaching ‘Religious Studies’ subject in one class of primary school (grade 4 now) is absolutely very different from the one of senior high school I have had since a year ago. (FYI, I did not teach the ‘religion’ or ‘humanities classes when the grade 4 students were still in grade 3.)

First, the teaching material.

Second, maturity. Maturity here can be in psychological/mental state. However it can also refer to maturity in the experience of practicing the religious teachings.

THE TEACHING MATERIAL

For the class in senior high school, I downloaded the material from http://bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/rs/ The first topic is about ‘Knowledge, Faith, and Belief’. The discussion on “Why believe?” and “What is truth?” is expected to make the students (in Indonesia where the atmosphere in society is more to ‘religious’ than in other countries, let’s say in Britain) think critically. Why believe in something we never see? Truth in one aspect – for example ‘historical’ truth – can be something else when viewed using ‘scientific’ truth. Truth in ‘films’ (or aesthetic) can be only imaginary when seen from another point of view.

For the class in primary school, I got a book entitled ‘Society and Environment’ book D. The first topic is “Famous People”. We discussed Mother Teresa (a very devoted Christian from India), Ian Kiernan (an environmentalist from Australia) and Eddie Mabo (a hero for the aboriginal people’s rights ). The interesting thing from this first topic is that we related these three people with their beliefs. We compare a Christian, an environmentalist and a human right hero at the same ‘level’ of belief.

The following topic in senior high class is ‘Beliefs about God’ in five different religions (Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Sikhism). As we all know the three religions – Christianity, Islam, and Judaism have one root – from Abraham – so that they are called ‘Abrahamic Faiths’. Hinduism is non Abrahamic Faith, while Sikhism is the mixture of Islam and Hinduism. Therefore the understanding of ‘God’ in the three religions is similar to each other since they have one root: they believe in one God. They are also called monotheist religions. Hinduism is of course very different although in the website it is also stated that Hindus believe in one true God but their God has many different forms. Meanwhile, Sikhism is also monotheist.

The following topic in grade 4 class is the discussion on Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and Aboriginal Beliefs Customs and Religion. There is no explanation why Judaism is not included. The topic of Aboriginal Beliefs must be chosen to introduce this ‘native’ of Australian beliefs to children. (FYI, the book is published in Australia for Australian schools’ market.) The main discussion on the three religions are background/history, beliefs, practices and laws, also important texts/symbols.

There are eleven students in grade 4 where most of them are raised in Christian families. Two students have Islamic upbringing. Two students have Indian blood and one of them has Australian blood.

MATURITY

It is much more challenging to handle the religious studies class in primary school rather than in senior high in my opinion. Last week I got a new class (grade 11) to teach religious studies subject. The first time I entered the classroom, I directly asked the students, “Why do you need to study other religions you do not adhere?” I got a unison answer, “In order that we respect other people’s religions.” The second question, “Do you have any idea why religions exist? Try to use the perspective of a non-believer because it is also important that we respect his/her choice to be a non-believer just like a non-believer also must respect the believers.”

No one answered my question.

“Have you ever thought a possibility that religious teachings are in fact only for those who cannot control the negative drives inside themselves? People who already have a high control on themselves do not need any religious/moral teachings. They know what to do and they know what to leave. The most important thing is that they do not harm others. They do not do anything harmful toward themselves either.”

“Is that why people in other countries who are non-believers do not necessarily do crimes?” one student asked.

“There! You got the point!” I strengthened her remark.

Based on the students’ maturity, I find it easy to express my opinon. However, I could not easily comment when some weeks ago a student in grade 4 said, “I don’t want to be a Muslim, Miss. It is so hard. I don’t want to be punished after death.” (Background: he is a Muslim because he follows his mother’s religion. His dad – an expatriat – apparently is not a Muslim.) I was totally speechless. I felt not right if I ‘blatantly’ exposed my agnostic view. I would not be able to say anything if the students would tell their parents, “Miss Nana, my religion teacher, said that religious teachings are not important for people who bla bla bla ...” and perhaps it would ignite the parents’ anger because I was trying making their kids agnostic.

(Info: the background of the statement of one Muslim student of mine was the reading passage entitled “I need a lamp in front”.)

Meanwhile when discussing “Aboriginal Beliefs, Customs, and Traditions” I found it challenging to make the students understand the way Aboriginal people view the creation of this universe because these people do not believe in one God. It is somewhat ‘absurd’ for them to imagine that this universe existed without God working for six days. I also encouraged the students to view this belief as valuable to believe as their knowledge from religious teachings (the so-called God created the earth in six days, and on the sevent day God rested. Then God created Adam and Eve bla bla bla ...)

However, in short, I am of opinion that teaching Religious Studies subjects is always challenging and satisfying. If only I can help create a more peaceful Indonesia when my students grow up that no need to fight over religions.

GL7 14.24 200911

White Laws ...

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 23:29:00 +0000

In one early session of my Social and Environment subject in grade 4, we discussed 'Famous People' with their so-called 'beliefs'. The three famous people selected were Mother Teresa, Ian Kiernan, and Eddie Mabo. The discussion then led me to talk a bit about the history of Australia. :)
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Everybody knows Mother Teresa and her love for all human beings in the whole world, especially the needy. Her deep belief in her God was represented in a way that she devoted her life for those who need help. Different from Mother Teresa, Ian Kiernan as an environmentalist deeply believes that we all are to live in a clean environment so that we are not to litter everywhere: waterways, rivers, harbor, bla bla bla ... Meanwhile, Eddie Mabo who is also from Australia, was struggling against 'White Laws'.
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"What is white law, Miss?" my grade 4 students asked.
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In the book it was already explained that during the white colonization over Australia, the white issued their own laws saying that all lands in this smallest continent belonged to no one. It meant everybody -- those new comers from other countries, mainly Britain -- could claim any land they coveted to be theirs. They did not respect the rights of the native descendents, the aborigins.
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For further information about Eddie Mabo, just click here
�My very young students found it difficult to understand, though. Therefore, as an example, I told them the history of how the early settlers migrated from Britain to the east coast of America (since I am not quite familiar with the history of Australia, but I learned about American History): how those early settlers moved from their native country to the new land to get better life, to get freedom to adhere the religion they believed in; but then they called the native uncivilized only due to different way of life, different way of thinking, etc.
�
At this point, one student whose dad is Australian was speechless because apparently his grandma told him that the aborigins were uncivilized since they once came to the grandma's house to steal. He got more dumbfounded when I told the class that many centuries ago, many poor people from Britain were 'sent' to America, while criminals from the same country were sent to Australia.
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C-net, 10.25 300711
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More on Ian Kiernan, click this this.

Togetherness beats discomfort

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 06 May 2011 05:23:00 +0000

JOGJAKARTA - THE FIELD TRIP OF 2011:

TOGETHERNESS BEATS DISCOMFORT

Aiming to give memorable trip to the grade 12 students who will leave the school in less than two months, teachers as well as the principal planned the trip that involved all students from grade 7 to grade 12; consisting of 26 students altogether. Jogja was chosen as the destination as proposed by grade 10 students because most of them rejected the idea to go to Bali with high cost as the main reason.

Day 1, 3 May 2011

The 25 students – one student asked for permission not to join due to health problem – with five teachers as the supervisors left the school around 07.45 as scheduled. We were all ‘packed’ in one cute bus that had 32 seats. With quite ‘difficult’ effort all of us could overcome the problem to arrange all of the luggage in the limited space of the ‘trunk’ at the back of the bus.

The first complaint from the students was the condition of the bus whose space was really limited especially for those who had ‘big’ bodies as well as long legs. However, not long afterwards, everybody seemed settled, munching and sharing some snacks they brought, playing games inside their respective ‘PSP’ or any other game ‘gadget’ they had; or just listening to music from their respective cell phone or ipod.

preparing to enter the area of Prambanan temples

The trip to Prambanan temples – as the first destination – was good. Before we visited the temple, we dropped by first at one restaurant nearby to have lunch at 11.30. (It was quite early lunch, do you agree? But all of us needed energy to go around Prambanan temples.) Everybody was free to choose any kind of food to their heart’s content. We spent around 40 minutes here.

It turned out that many of the students had not visited Prambanan temples yet. Although they complained about the hot weather – it was sunny – they enjoyed the explanation from the tour guide, Pak Topo. They just found out that the history of Prambanan temples could be narrated at least from three different views: first; historical view (the temples were first built in the ninth century during Rakai Pikatan kingdom); second, legendary view (the temples were made by Bandung Bondowoso to fulfill the wish of Rorojonggrang, a princess that Bandung wanted to marry), third, archeological view (some archeologists predicted that the temples were built in the ninth century and from what kinds of rocks and how old the rocks were that were used to build the temples). Btw, Prambanan temples are categorized into Hindu temples.

From Prambanan we directly headed to the inn we would stay for two nights. It took around 30 minutes. When we arrived at ‘Wisma Martha’ and saw the ‘condition’ of the inn – quite small rooms with four narrow single beds and a very ordinary toilet – some male students directly complained very bitterly. (Compared to their ‘habit’ to stay in five star hotel when they have a vacation with their respective parents. ) Trying to calm them down was the responsibility of the teachers.

picture downloaded from yogyes.com

“Who thought we needed to pay low? We want comfortable rooms!”
“How could we do ‘our business’ in such very ordinary toilets?”

The two questions above were the most often-heard complaint. aha ... it seemed that the plan to give the most memorable trip to grade 12 students worked well. :-P However, the girls were very nice; they seemed to be more adaptable. (it reminded me of the ‘theory’ of ‘Survival of the fittest’ by Herbert Spencer. The girls will survive much better than some boys under certain circumstances. )

Despite the complaint about the small rooms and the very ordinary toilet, the swimming pool and the pingpong table provided by the inn entertained the students. Some boys seemed to enjoy some games of pingpong; some girls enjoyed swimming while the rest spent some time to have the ‘second’ lunch (or the early dinner?) in the restaurant of the inn.

some boys were playing pingpong ball in the pool

After taking a shower and taking some rest, everybody was ready to go to Ambarrukmo Plaza around 18.15 although it was not included in the itinerary in the first place. However, to console the students’ disappointment – in case they really could not do ‘their business’ in the toilet of the inn, they could do it in the toilet of ‘Amplaz’ – the teachers decided to take the students to this seemingly most luxurious mall in Jogja.

Some girls directly enjoyed their shopping; some boys had fun in the ‘game’ center; some others had a good time in one popular bookstore, the others had sightseeing.

We arrived back to the inn around 21.30. We were all supposed to go to bed early since we had to wake up early the following day.

Day 2, 4 May 2011

We had to wake up around 04.30 since the first activity on this second day was biking along Selokan Mataram. It would be better to do it in the early morning so that we would not get disturbed by the traffic and we could enjoy the fresh air.

We left for the starting point at 05.15, 15 minutes later from the plan. When we arrived in the starting point – a spot called ‘Babarsari’ – around 05.50, the bikes already arrived there. To have this activity, we rented the bikes we needed. Since not all of the students could ride a bike, there was one teacher accompanying them on the bus.

too bad my students were not as narcissistic as me

We started biking around 06.00. There was one guide showing the way; we headed to the east. The last point was one spot near Candi Sambisari. We arrived there at 07.00. Special appreciation for one student who seriously learned to ride a bike some days before the field trip, also another student who tried his best to join the biking although he was not accustomed to it so that several times he seemed almost to jump to the ‘selokan’. Luckily we were all safe and sound when we arrived at the last point.

At 07.30 we already arrived back to the hotel to have breakfast together. Since we would start our activity at 10.00 we really had plenty of time to have fun in the inn. Some of the students played pingpong, some others played in the swimming pool and the rest had a good time in their respective rooms. The students really seemed to always enjoy their togetherness with each other. No more grumbles were heard.

At 10 we were all ready to visit the first destination, Tom’s silver, to learn the process of making ornaments or anything else from silver. From there, we continued our journey to Batik Rorojonggrang. These two places were located not far from the inn.

Around 11.30 we had our lunch somewhere near Kidz Fun. We got surprised by the coming of one student’s mother who specially came to comfort the son. Another surprise was the owner of the restaurant who could speak English fluently. He must have heard us speaking English so that he excitedly greeted us in English. He turned out to have lived and worked in the US for 18 years!

Some of us planned to visit Kidz Fun after the lunch. However, the hot sunshine hindered some others – especially the girls – who were not excited by the idea of playing Go-Kart. Eventually, all of us even went back to the inn to rest.

At 15.40 we were all prepared to explore Malioboro street, one longest and most well-known street in Indonesia that sell many kinds of merchandise.

At 18.30 we were invited by John’s mom to have dinner at Melia Purosani hotel. She treated all of us a grand dinner, to comfort those who complained about the inn with its ordinary toilet. We all enjoyed ourselves until 20.00. Then we went back to our inn. It in fact was raining heavily outside.

five girls in my room :)

Feeling very tired, many of us fell asleep easily around 22.30. Before that, around 20.45 some boys and one male teacher visited Kidz Fun again; they were still obsessed to play Go Kart. (Un)fortunately, this amusement park was already closed so they directly went back to the inn.

Day 3, 5 May 2011

It had been raining quite heavily since very early in the morning on this third day. Luckily all of us did not need to be in a hurry since we would check out at 09.30. Many students chose to stay inside their respective rooms since the weather was quite cold, not nice to swim or to play pingpong. We had our breakfast around 07.15. After that we all packed our luggage.

At 09.30 it was still drizzling but everybody was on time to bring their luggage back to the bus. With the help of the bus’ crew, we arranged the luggage. We left the inn around 09.40 and arrived at Sultan’s palace at 09.55. It was still drizzling.

During the tour around the palace, we got one communicative guide who explained this and that about each room we entered as well as the symbols found on the gate or anywhere. We could take pictures everywhere but one building; the batik museum where guests would find any kind of batik cloth or any other thing made by the members of the sultanate.

At 12 we left the palace. We dropped by at one shop selling some ‘oleh-oleh’ such as bakpia, geplak and some others. To fulfill the students’ want to go to Ambarrukmo Paza again, the teachers decided to let the kids have lunch there. We stayed at Amplaz for two hours, 12.30 – 14.30.

Due to exhaustion everybody went back to the bus really on time. They no longer had energy to go around the mall for quite a long time. Besides, we all missed home already. We left the parking area of Amplaz at 14.30 and headed home. To give grade 12 students more unforgettable moment, on the bus some teachers had prepared one ‘video’ containing many old pictures of the students taken at some school events some years before. The hilarious noise of laughter really filled out the bus while watching the video!

Along the journey back to Semarang, everybody seemed excited by the trip. We all arrived back at the school premises around 19.00.

Despite the exhaustion, we all had fun and proved one important value: togetherness in friendship is really everything. It ‘allegedly’ proved to beat the discomfort.

GL7 08.20 060511

Horror Movies

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:18:00 +0000

Watching horror movies is never my cup of tea. My reason is simple: I watch movies to get entertainment and not to get frightened. Besides, my kind of favorite movies is those based on true story; such as Freedom Writers, North Country, Beautiful Mind, Changeling, etc. Well, in fact, not only to get entertainment do I (sometimes) watch movies, but also to learn some historical background of some events (e.g. Iron Jawed Angels), and get some moral values. I believe that there is a mutual relationship between 'life' in movies and 'life' in our real lives.

The first horror movie that I was willing to watch was THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT because my students said that this movie was based on a true story. I watched it together with my students at school since we had topic 'Alive with Horror' in our English class. Well, the movie's plot was quite logical to me: a family moved to a house which was formerly a mortuary. The family soon becomes haunted by violent and traumatic events from supernatural forces occupying the house.

Well, since this was supposedly based on a true story, one can conclude that perhaps this 'event' was transferred into a movie to make people realize that it was always possible to happen where people were haunted by 'spirits' of people who did not die 'properly' or whose bodies did not get proper treatment. The spirits of these people wanted to 'take revenge' to the ones who made their souls 'rejected' to enter 'the sky' (or heaven?).

Emily Jenkins

This morning, in my English class -- with the same topic, 'Alive with Horror', I watched another horror movie: Case 39. The name chosen as the main character who had 'evil character' in her really attracted me: LILITH. It must have been taken from Jewish mythology about the first woman God created after creating Adam. Since Lilith was also created from 'soil' like Adam, she felt equal' to him. She did not easily submit herself to Adam. Even when having sex for the first time, Adam asked Lilith to be under him, she complained.

Getting a 'helpmate' who was rebellious like Lilith, Adam complained to God. God then banished Lilith and created another female creature who was exactly like what Adam wanted: submissive, weak, feminine. There came Eve. On the contrary of Lilith that had demonic and evil character, Eve was angelic.

The story of Case 39 was somewhat a twist. At the beginning, Lilith's parents were narrated to be insane people because they wanted to kill Lilith. Emily Jenkins -- a social worker whose job dealt with 'troubled children' -- saved Lilith from the murder trial done by her parents. Emily even officially asked to have the custody to take care of Lilith because she saw that Lilith felt secure with her.

Some cases of murder that happened next in fact involved Lilith. Lilith that at the beginning seemed so sweet and weak little girl changed to be someone evil when she did not get what she wanted: love from someone she needed.

Lilith

My very own question since the beginning watching this movie was simple: what made the producer make such a demonic character in a little girl? Had there been any real cases of a new born baby having evil spirit in him/her? A baby who then (indirectly) killed other members of the family after growing up? A baby who had the sixth sense -- just like indigo -- but was 'occupied' by evil spirit.

Realizing that Lilith herself had evil spirit in her, Emily visited Lilith's parents in the mental hospital to investigate. Lilith's father suggested Emily to kill Lilith.

Until the end, I didn't get any clue what made Lilith evil. So, honestly, I don't recommend this movie to be watched. .

PT56 23.17 290411

T R I F L E S

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 10:45:00 +0000

'TRIFLES' is always in the curriculum of DRAMA ANALYSIS CLASS that I handle in the even semester.

PLOT

This one-act drama written by Susan Glaspell tells us about a murder of a husband, John Wright. His wife, Mrs. Wright -- her maiden name was Minnie Foster -- was the suspect since she was the last person seen when a neighbor -- Mr. Hale -- found Mr. Wright dead in his house. The following day after the finding, Mr. Hale came back to the house together with the Sheriff and County Attorney to gather evidence -- either to make themselves convinced that Mrs. Wright was the murderer or on the way around: they might find fingerprints of the 'real murderer'. These three men were accompanied by Mrs. Hale -- the wife of the neighbor -- and Mrs. Peter -- the wife of the Sheriff. The two women were about to collect some personal belongings of Mrs. Wright who apparently was already in custody; these personal belongings were, among other things. clothes, some stuff to quilt, etc.

Glaspell intentionally showed the contradictory traits between men and women: the three men paid more attention to anything 'big' or 'serious' to collect evidence, because the crime done was also a serious one: murder. On the contrary, the two women took a very close look at some 'trivial things (alias 'trifles') such as, preserves, bread set, a large sewing basket and a piece cloth Mrs. Wright was quilting. In the end, it turned out that the women even found the evidence that strongly showed Mrs. Wright was the murderer from those trifles, while the men did not find any. However, to show 'loyalty to the same gender' -- as accused by the County Attorney when Mrs. Hale defended Mrs. Wright when the County Attorney said bad things about how messy the kitchen of Mr. Wright's house was -- the two women kept the evidence for themselves.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE -- an analysis

From the conversation between Mrs. Hale and Mrs. Peters, one can conclude that John Wright had a contradictory trait from his wife, Minnie Foster. Before marrying John, Minnie was a very cheerful girl, singing in a choir, wearing pretty dresses as well as colorful ribbons on her hair. Meanwhile, John belonged to a very quiet man. He refused the offer of Mr. Hale to 'go on a party telephone' by saying that 'folks talked too much'. Apparently he didn't like noise at all.

Because of that, it can be concluded that during their marriage -- for about thirty years -- Minnie was forced to be someone else who was not herself in the past. She could not sing, she could not enjoy having a company -- let us say when a neighbor dropped by at her house. Mrs. Hale herself as a neighbor said that she did not really like visiting the Wrights' house since John did not like it.

When the two women found a dead canary hidden inside a box in the sewing basket, they directly drew a conclusion what made Minnie killed her husband. John killed Minnie's only entertainment. (Mrs. Hale said that only a year ago Minnie bought the canary, 29 years after the wedding, after 29 years living in a quietness and being repressive.) It can be interpreted that John killed Minnie's soul. No longer could Minnie control her emotion, she killed her husband.

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND

The choice of 'kitchen' as the main setting by Glaspell refers to the setting considered as the only women's sphere in that era. 'Trifles' was written in 1916, the decade considered to be important before American women got their right to vote in 1920 after struggling to get it since the first summit in 1848. Despite the fact that women had spent some decades for that demand, the government did not really pay attention to it.

Through this play, Glaspell wanted to criticize the government that it was high time for them to give right to women to be involved in 'men's spheres'. Although 'only' gathering evidence through trivial things -- homemaking stuff -- in the so-called unimportant setting, the two women found evidence as well as the motif why Minnie Foster killed the husband.

A woman indeed will be able to do anything that people might think impossible when she is cornered, when she is forced.

PT56 21.24 220411

Kartini and the exposure

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:47:00 +0000

When discussing a poem entitled AN OBSTACLE by Charlotte Perkins Gilman in my Poetry Analysis Class, I didn't give the students the background of Gilman at the first place. This was to show the students that in analyzing some poems by certain poets, using biographical approach will help critics to understand poems better.

Here is the poem:

    An Obstacle

    by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

    I was climbing a mountain path
    With many things to do,
    Important business of my own,
    And other people’s too,
    When I ran against a Prejudice,
    That quite cut off the view,

    My work was such as could not wait,
    My path quite clearly showed,
    My strength and time were limited,
    I carried quite a load;
    And there that hulking Prejudice
    Sat all across the road.

    So I spoke to him politely,
    For he was huge and high,
    And begged that he would move a bit
    And let me travel by.
    He smiled, but as for moving! –
    He didn’t even try.

    And then I reasoned quietly
    With that colossal mule:
    My time was short—no other path—
    The mountain winds were cool.
    I argued like a Solomon;
    He sat there like a fool.

    Then I flew into a passion,
    And I danced and howled and swore;
    I pelted and belabored him
    Till I was stiff and sore,
    He got as mad as I did---
    But he sat there as before.

    And then I begged him on my knees,
    I might be kneeling still
    If so I hoped to move that mass
    Of obdurate ill-will—
    As well invite the monument
    To vacate Bunker Hill!

    So I sat before him helpless,
    In an ecstasy of woe—
    The mountain mists were rising fast,
    The sun was sinking slow—
    When a sudden inspiration came,
    As sudden winds do blow.

    I took my hat, I took my stick,
    My load I settled fair,
    I approached that awful incubus
    Win an absent-minded air—
    And I walked directly through him,
    As if he wasn’t there!

Gilman mostly used straight-to-the-point words in her poems, without complicating flowering figurative languages so that it will be a lot easier for critics to understand her poems. After giving the material to the students, giving them 15 minutes to discuss the poem in groups of three to find out what the poem is trying to tell its readers, I got an explanation that I wanted to hear: the poet is struggling something in his life. He found it hard, however, he didn't easily feel discouraged. He kept moving on.

I intentionally used the pronoun 'he' above since the students thought that 'Charlotte Perkins Gilman' was a man. They thought that the name 'Charlotte' is androgyn name, just like 'Nana' can be used for both male and female.

After knowing that in fact the poet was a woman, the students still did not get what was the 'thing' to be struggled by Giilman. To find out more, I gave them another poem by Gilman. In this case, I planned to combine to explain the function of biographical approach as well as comparative approach; in this case, especially comparing more than one poems written by the same poet. (Another kind of comparative approach is comparing poems having similar themes from different poets.)

Here is another poem:

    Reassurance
    by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

    Can you imagine nothing better, brother,
    Than that which you have always had before?
    Have you been so content with "wife and mother,"
    You dare hope nothing more?

    Have you forever prized her, praised her, sung her,
    The happy queen of a most happy reign?
    Never dishonored her, despised her, flung her
    Derision and disdain?

    Go ask the literature of all the ages!
    Books that were written before women read!
    Pagan and Christian, satirists and sages–
    Read what the world has said.

    There was no power on earth to bid you slacken
    The generous hand that painted her disgrace!
    There was no shame on earth too black to blacken
    That much-praised woman-face.

    Eve and Pandora!–always you begin it–
    The ancients called her Sin and Shame and Death.
    "There is no evil without woman in it,
    "The modern proverb saith.

    She has been yours in uttermost possession–
    Your slave, your mother, your well-chosen bride–
    And you have owned in million-fold confession,
    You were not satisfied.

    Peace then! Fear not the coming woman, brother.
    Owning herself, she giveth all the more.
    She shall be better woman, wife and mother,
    Than man hath known before.

This second poem more clearly shows what Gillman struggled in her life: equality between men and women.

"Did she struggle for 'emancipation' just like what Kartini did in the past?" one student asked me.

Perhaps because this is April, a month where most of Indonesian people commemorate Kartini's birth on April 21 as one date to encourage women's equality to men, this particular student of mine mentioned the name 'Kartini' while in fact I didn't think that way at the beginning. (How coincident! I was explaining some fundamental approaches in analyzing literary work -- especially biographical and comparative approaches -- by choosing Gilman's poems in April. FYI, you can guess, I never pass up my literature classes not to discuss literary work by women; that can be viewed using feminist approach.)

Then I explained a little background of Gilman. She was born in 1860 and died in 1935. She started writing poems, short stories, articles as well as novels by the end of the 19th century, to release herself from the nervous breakdown, a mental illness 'attacking' her since she was in her early twenties. It became worse after she married her first husband.

Women movement in American started to rise with the first women summit in 1848 in Seneca Falls. Gilman was born with such exposure. As we all know, American women got the right to vote in 1920, after that first summit, more than 7 decades later.

Kartini got some privileges in her life:

was born in an aristocratic wealthy family so she could go to school, although only in primary school
could speak Dutch so she could correspond with her Dutch friends

(In that era, people who were not born in aristocratic wealthy families could not go to school, moreover women. They would not be able to communicate in good Dutch. They would not have friends from the Netherlands. They would not get any exposure to books from the Netherlands, let's say.

I believe her intelligence as well as those privileges gave her an idea to set up school for girls. I believe she got exposed to books from Holland; she also got exposed to news or information about how women in other countries at that time struggled for women's betterment; one of them could be Charlotte Perkins Gilman's writings or other 'feminists' from England or other European countries. Gilman's writings as well as her lectures she gave by traveling to all over America and also England reached Kartini.

Unfortunately indeed that Kartini could not refuse her father's instruction to marry a married man although she realized that polygamy was just one way to show women's degraded position; her father who gave her the privilege to be able to go to (primary) scholol, the same man who gave her privilege to correspond to her Dutch friends to get know what was going on in Europe.

When Gilman got 'baby blue' when delivering her baby, but she could not on living to continue her struggle, Kartini had to die at a young age after delivering her first baby.

Happy Kartini Day, my folks. Let's continue struggling for our betterment in our lives in the future. Let us empower ourselves!!!

GL7 08.57 210411

To read my interpretation on AN OBSTACLE, click here.

To read my interpretation on REASSURANCE, click here.

To read more writings of mine on Charlotte Perkins Gilman, click here.

Beliefs about love and sex

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 02:22:00 +0000

After discussing this topic last week in my Religious Studies class, I asked my students to summarize the result of the discussion as well as their comments. Below are two writings of theirs.

John:

Religion has a strict rule when it comes to love and sex. Homosexuality is forbidden in almost all religions. Islam thinks they should die. Some religions encourage its followers to have children, which may cause over population and funding problems.

The Jewish religion's book shows that orthodox Jews wish for homosexuals to be hit by a meteorite. Marriage with the same sex is usually scolded by most religions, so people must marry with different sex.

In my opinion, religions should not encourage people to have many offspring, it will not have a good result. ("Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them ... so shall be your offspring be. Genesis 15:5) Examples of "not good results" = unintentional sibling marriage, a new Nazi regime, starvation, age limit on people (kill yourself at 65), and the need for a new huge warfare. Everyone never has children equal to the number of stars. That will be all.

By the way, some religions are sexist. ("Do not lie with a male as one lies with a woman; it is an abhorrence. Leviticus 18:22; or "Do not come near a woman during her period of uncleanness." Leviticus 18:19) Wait ... wait ... did I just say the Jewish scripture? Sorry. The End.

Vanya:

Love is defined as a feeling of attachment to other people while sex is an intercourse between two people. Both sex and love play an important role in religions, though different religions teach different perspectives on how they should be practiced.

Christians. for example, considers 'love' to be the most important law or principle. This is because God has loved His people so much that, as Christians, we should share His love by loving others. However, this unconditional love does not extent to sexual relationships, and sex is limited to married couples only.

In Hinduism, while sexual relationship is considered as something good, it is only limited to married couples because of the importance of self-control. Hindus restrict their children from contacting the opposite sex (aside from close relatives) to prevent them from having sexual desires before marriage.

For Muslims, marriage and sex are considered as an act of worship, as having children through sex is a way for humans to contribute towards Allah's creation. However, sex outside marriage is forbidden, because uncontrollable passion is considered evil.

Similarly, Jewish considers marriage and sex very important, and it is not natural for a Jew to be celibate (not married/virgin). Jewish believes that having large families is a blessing. As Abraham was promised descendants as plenty as stars and that every nation may be blessed through them.

For Sikhs, sexual intercourse is a way to concentrate on the divine love, and, like other religions, it is limited within a married relationship, as such is the only condition where sex can be considered "clean". The faithfulness towards a spouse is very important to Sikhism, so polygamy is not allowed.

Background:

A little background, in the beginning of this academic year, the first time I had "religious studies" with this class, John admitted that he was an agnostic. Vanya is a Christian.

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GL7 14.52 250211

Well ... well ...

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 05:25:00 +0000

I found it very funny when out of the blue I got some emails or poems or notes -- some from people I never know, some from people I know online -- that I guess the senders wanted to 'preach' on spiritual things; more exactly, from a so-called 'abrahamic' religion which was obviously not the one I (once) adhered to.

I am of opinion that they have visited my blogs or notes on FB about my spiritual journey where I sound like to be a non-believer. If I relate it to one movie I watched "SAVED!", perhaps those guys/girls wanted to save me from my being in (perhaps they were thinking that I was) limbo? Since I sound no longer (100%) believe in the religion forced to me when I was a kid?

I really really found it RIDICULOUS. But, anyway, that was a nice try, pal! I never read those emails -- that apparently for me just JUNK MAILS -- because I directly deleted them.

love and light for everyone,
Nana Podungge
~ label herself as a little devil ~

True love for women

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 02:26:00 +0000

So, how do you 'celebrate' your Valentine's Day this year?

There was an intriguing 'status' on FB from an online buddy yesterday: "Hey ladies, who is your true love? your hubby? kids? or ... those pretty shoes and bags?"

So, come on ladies! Instead of buying chocolates for your loved ones, buy your dream shoes and bags for yourself, since you deserve to be loved, by yourself!"

Hmmm ... I am wondering if there are women who don't like beautiful clothes, pretty shoes as well as attractive bags. I once did! Frankly speaking when the first time I got a job and felt like I could spoil myself with those 'women stuff', since I was (or I coveted to be included into) a 'fashionable woman'. LOL.

Until I realized that I did not need to always follow my greed, just to be "a real woman". LOL. Perhaps it was also triggered by the 'fact' (so I thought) that I had found my 'real identity'. If I am not mistaken it started in 2000. This (so-called) awareness was strengthened when I got to know feminism ideology in 2003.

So? No more buying clothes or shoes or bags if only to 'pile' them to adore their beauty. LOL. I have found my 'real passion' => books, feminism, and writing. I absolutely will buy new clothes or shoes or bags if I think I need new ones since the old ones are already worn out. LOL.

Meanwhile ...

In one mailing list I have joined for years I just found an ad about a new book published. The book compiles some writings about women and children. The main point of the book is to support women to love themselves just the way they are; no need to follow society's consensus about women -- such as women must wear beautiful dresses that will fit with their bags and shoes; women must have a so-called sexy body (which mostly means having tall and slim body with fair, spotless skin, long and straight hair) when they want to wear fashionable clothes. In addition, women must also have courage to say NO to their boyfriends/husbands when their partners want to have sex while women do not want to.

Well, if I can add, women also have rights to ask their boyfriends/husbands to have sex when they need it; women do not need to feel guilty when they want to spend their money on 'women stuff' and not labeled as 'victim' of capitalism as long as they are aware when doing that (too 'risky' eh, to use the word 'aware' here?) and not just follow the trend. Women also have right to spend their money to go to spas, beauty salon to make themselves feel beautiful for their own satisfaction, and not just to get appreciation from people around -- especially men -- since women do not need recognition from others only to feel beautiful. Women have right to wear any kind of clothes -- open/sexy or even covering all over -- and feel good for themselves.

etc.

And they are still 'true women', with any choice they make!

You can visit my other post about 'true women' here
Perempuan Sejati (in Bahasa Indonesia) or
True Women? (in English)

True love for women? Love yourself, folks!

PT56 14.06 150211

Chinese foot-binding versus European corset wearing

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 08:38:00 +0000

Chinese foot-binding versus European corset wearing

In one topic in History class, my student (in grade 7) and I discussed these so-called torturing phenomena towards women several centuries ago. These are indeed not new ‘things’ for me since I read some books about women when doing research for my thesis whose main topic is about a phenomenon of woman madness in the nineteenth century America, using Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s novella entitled “The Yellow Wallpaper” as the main data. Nevertheless, when talking about these two phenomena, I did some more research in the internet.

CHINESE FOOT BINDING

In fact, this inhumane custom was practiced for approximately one thousand years in China, beginning in the tenth century and ending in the first half of twentieth century. Wikipedia stated that the origin of this practice was from the desire to emulate the naturally tiny feet of a favored concubine of a prince to a story of an empress who had club-like feet, which became viewed as a desirable fashion.

In the beginning of its practice it was carried out only among the elite and only in the wealthiest parts of China. This practice shows the ability of the husbands to afford their wives who did not need to work, who existed only to serve their husbands and direct household servants while performing no labor themselves. The economic and social attractions of such women may well have translated into sexual desirability among elite men.

However, several centuries later, this ‘custom’ was practiced not only among the wealthiest. By the seventeenth century, Han Chinese girls, from the wealthiest to the poorest people, had their feet bound, although it was somewhat less prevalent among poorer women or those that had to work for a living, especially in the fields.

For me personally, this is a very interesting finding. There is a tendency that people from the lower social class imitate what people from the higher social class have been doing. In the case of this foot-binding, one can say that the lower social class people do not really understand the main cause of doing this. When women from poor family have their foot bound while they still have to do manual labor, they themselves will be in trouble. They do not mind it perhaps because they crave to be included into the high social class community? The stereotyping about “beautiful women” in Chinese culture always make people not use their common sense?

EUROPEAN CORSET WEARING

The history of when this corset wearing is not really convincing. Some sources mentioned corset (this term ‘corset’ itself started to be used in the nineteenth century) was used for the first time by Catherine de’ Medici, wife of King Henry II of France in the sixteenth century. If at first it was used “only” as a support for women’s body to “mold the torso into a cylindrical shape, and to flatten and raise the bustline”, several centuries later, especially in the middle of the nineteenth century, during the Victorian era, where the strong domestication of women’s lives started to be carried out rigidly, after the Industrial Revolution, ‘corset’ was believed to be a woman’s main need to support her body because women were thought of the weaker sex. Women need a ‘support’ to stand upright.

Similar to the phenomenon of Chinese foot binding where at the beginning it was practiced among the wealthiest families, corset was also mostly worn by high class ladies. They did not need to do many household chores because they had paid servants at home to take care of such cumbersome matters. Lower class ladies would wear looser corsets and simpler clothes, with less weight.

The most shocking finding was in fact when a source said that the corset was deemed morally and medically necessary. Tight lacing was considered virtuous – a loose corset was probably a sign of a loose woman. To keep her innocence and virtuosity, a lady had to be chaperoned everywhere she went. A woman needed to protect herself from lustful men (and her own morality) by wearing heavily reinforced layers of clothing and tight corsets that made getting undressed a long and difficult task.

This hostile view towards women reminded me of one regional rule in one city in Indonesia where women who work as ‘masseuse’ have to wear girdled panties to “protect” themselves from lustful customers. When a man cannot appease his immoral lust, women have to take the risk è imprison themselves. In this case, Indonesia indeed are left behind some centuries compared to those European countries.

In conclusion, one can say that these both practices were carried out out of misogyny toward women. However, those tricky men used ‘reasons’ to make women feel proud to be a part of them.: Chinese foot-binding: because women wanted to be labeled “good and respected” wives, not to mentioned ‘lifted’ as to belong to high class society; European corset wearing, not only to fulfill society’s requirement to look beautiful (by having waist only around 16 inches) but also to be morally virtuous.

GL7 15.28 110211

Sex and the City 2 (the movie)

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 14:34:00 +0000

There are several parts in this movie that attracted my attention most:

Carrie's so-called 'scandal' to kiss Aidan
Miranda's decision to quit from her job
the private conversation between Miranda and Charlotte
the way the scriptwriter ended the story

CARRIE'S kissing Aidan

I remember in one serial of SATC where Carrie and Big were not a couple, they had a date in California, when Carrie attended her first book reading. Big seemed so guilty toward Carrie when reading Carrie's first book entitled SEX AND THE CITY because reading one article to another article to another in fact made Big realize how he hurt Carrie's feeling. Carrie -- who had been horny since leaving New York and expecting to have sex with Big (Carrie chose to do it with her ex boyfriend rather than with any other guy, a stranger) -- thought that the book became her big obstacle to appease her lust. So when Big refused to do it because he was worried if he would hurt her more, Carrie said, "Oh come on, it it JUST SEX." Big responded, "But in your book you said, "it is NOT JUST sex ..."

I did not think that Carrie would be that troubled due to the kiss she had with Aidan, although she did it accidentally because they accidentally met each other in one traditional market in Abu Dhabi, more than 6000 miles away from New York, although their dinner was not done accidentally. Carrie could have refused the dinner invitation, but she did come to Aidan's hotel.

After the short 'accident' kiss, Carrie rushed back to her hotel and told her best girl friends. Miranda and Charlotte who were still having a heart-to-heart conversation about their being a mother, were just speechless, could not say a word. They were too shocked to hear it or to see Carrie's troubled facial expression after doing it? LOL. (joking ...) While Samantha who was still having relaxing bath to prepare herself before dating a hot Arab man, 'easily' said, "Don't tell Big! It is JUST A KISS." when Carrie said that she had to 'repent' by telling Big the truth because she did not want to have any secret between Big and her. It is sooo Samantha. LOL.

Carrie eventually told Big. And he was shocked.

MIRANDA's decision to quit from her job

Although I repetitively said (or wrote) in my blog about the definition of being a feminist is to have her own authority to make any decision -- for example to work professionally or to be a full housewife -- Miranda's decision surprised me.

I love Aidan's remark on Carrie, "You are anything but being traditional."

I think this remark was also appropriate for Miranda (as well as Samantha). I would not think that Miranda would quit to be able to attend a ceremony at Brady's school to make him happy.

MIRANDA AND CHARLOTTE's private conversation

This part is very feminist. LOL. or you can say humane. :) Both Miranda and Charlotte were mothers. So different from Carrie and Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte's days were full of taking care of babies. Miranda got Brady 'accidentally' because she did not plan to get pregnant. Charlotte was on the way around. Charlotte and Harry, her husband, tried hard to get a baby. They adopted their first baby, while the second one was their own.

"I really want to be a mother but then when having two babies sometimes I want to get rid of them. I need some private time to be on my own!" Charlotte said.

"That is very natural, don't feel guilty for that. I experience that too after I decided to quit from my job." Miranda agreed.

Absolutely I agree with these two good friends. Everyone is entitled to have some private time to be themselves, to do anything they want, such as to be with their good friends. In this case, it means I also agree with Big's idea to sometimes live separately from Carrie, although it does not necessarily mean they do it regularly, let's say like Big's idea, to live separately for two days EVERY WEEK.

One surprising thing from the private conversation was when Charlotte -- the most traditional one of the four -- said that she was even more worried to lose her nanny -- she was outstandingly a very good one, and her babies love her -- rather than Harry. Erin was illustrated as a very sexy woman with big boobs and never wore bra! Charlotte was somewhat offended when Samantha said that probably Harry would get attracted to Erin and cheat Charlotte. And Charlotte several times saw with her own eyes how Harry got stuck to look at Erin's boobs in several occasions.

THE ENDING

I must say that I was disappointed to see how the scriptwriter ended each problem, especially Charlotte's problem with her nanny, Erin. The writer made Erin as a lesbian so that she would not get attracted to Harry at all. Why that simple? :-( (So, what do you expect Nana? Just like one sinetron in Indonesia? Despite the hot temptation, as a pious (probably?) Jew, Harry tried hard not to get attracted by Erin? LOL. And he successfully passed it. LOL.

That Big forgave Carrie for kissing Aidan was not a surprise. It was JUST a kiss and both Big and Carrie were grown-ups. The silly thing (seemed like teenagers anyway for me) was when Big asked Carrie to vow, "I will not kiss any other man but my husband." LOL.

That Miranda then found another job was very predictable.

And Samantha got hot and wild sex with that Arab guy was not a surprise. Samantha seemed to always get the same role, a very hot one. I adore her because I am not sure if I can be as sexually open as she is. LOL.

PT56 19.19 171010

Beliefs about God

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 09:10:00 +0000

In one session of my Religious Studies class, we discussed “Beliefs about God” in four religions: Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and Sikhism. The previous week, we discussed “Beliefs about God in Christianity”. When getting the material, the students complained why they had to ‘study’ other religions than their own. (All of them adhere to Christianity except one student who said that he was an agnostic.) In Indonesia we have one well-known axiom “tidak kenal maka tidak sayang” or “if we don’t know one thing, we will not understand it, so we will not love it.” I used this as one reason.
In most schools in Indonesia, I am of opinion that the students get lesson about the religion they claim to adhere when registering, except those who study in schools that have label as Christian or Catholic or Islam schools. If a student studying in one Christian or Catholic school, although he or she is a Muslim, he or she has to attend Christian or Catholic class. Or if not the class, he or she is to attend the routine religious service. It also happens on the way around.
The school where I work now is an international school. This year we include ‘religious studies’ in the curriculum and we do not exclusively discuss only one religion. I told my students that I expected them to understand the way people from other religions view their own religions, practice the religious teachings so that it will encourage mutual respect. Since most of my students are Christian and my background is Islam, we spent more time discussing these two religions. We just talked about Hinduism, Judaism, and Sikhism only based on the material I downloaded from www.bbc.co.uk/schools/
After the class was over, I asked my students to write a simple paper on their understanding of our discussion in the classroom. Below is one writing of my student who claims to be an agnostic.

There are many gods depending on the religions, so gods may vary. Since there are many religions, there are many gods. Since there are many gods, there are many swearing variations available (God xxxx it, Allah xxxx it) (please forgive my coarse language.)

Now to be serious.

Hinduism has many gods, there are three main aspects in this religion, and three gods. Brahma, the one who created everything; Vishnu, the protector in times of disaster or its like; and Shiva, the guy who blow stuff up. The main god, however, is called Brahman, the everything – except Indonesian community – is in him.

Islam, Indonesian’s religion and some terrorists, has one god, that is pretty much like a cheater in video games, and he is a pretty lonely guy too. He’s also got lots of nicknames. By the way, Islam religion’s heaven will never be entered by a guy like me because we have to remember Allah’s 99 names – 99 ARABIC NAMES! – we are screwed.

Judaism, like Islam, believes there is only one ***. It is but considered profane to use the nickname for their ***, so I will use ***. WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP IT? … Sorry for being satirical, this G-d is described as a pretty good guy, and that he is everywhere and can do anything, the prayer, Shema can give you an accidental feeling of being concentrating on Hashem’s something …

Sikhism, which I’ve never heard, has a god that is rather controlling, and has MANY names. Since I have limited knowledge of Sikhism, I will stop here.

Christianity, most abundant religions? Or just in Europe? It centers around god and Jesus Christ, but I have limited explanation except that it is not very different from other religions with the exception that the gods have specific names now, and a son too.

If I sound offensive to most of these religions, then I am sorry. I have never been feeling religious since the age of 10.

In the end, in my opinion, I believe that everyone should choose what they believe and tolerate others, but must not rely on their god, we must be independent, we are an entire species, after all. If we keep relying on beings above the sky, what will happen? And religion is currently hindering modern world, anyway.

I opine that this particular student must feel lucky to have me as the teacher in his religious studies class. LOL. I just laughed loudly when reading his writing. Likewise, I also feel lucky to have him in my class. LOL. When the first time he said, “I think I am an agnostic, Miss. It is based on my own contemplation after reading books.” I directly told him, “Oh, we are on the same boat, then.” And since then on, we always have interesting discussion in this particular class. :) Before this, he was somewhat a quiet and shy boy to me. But recently, he is somewhat outspoken. :)

PBIS 12.25 080910

Agnosticsm

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 13:11:00 +0000

How can we know if there is something we call 'God'?

The second topic to discuss in my religion class was God's existence. The material to be discussed was from God. As you can see in the website, the discussion on whether God exists or not was viewed from Christianity. One student said that her parents taught her to believe in Jesus. She said that at the beginning, she believed in it only because her parents taught her so. However, recently, she said she believes in it wholeheartedly that only in Christianity she feels saved.

Below is a summary written by one student of mine.

In many cultures and religions, God is mentioned many times. God seems to be the entire reason a religion is made. There also many different representation of gods. He has become quite an important figure in the spiritual world.

In the scientific world, however, God's existence is challenged by the requirement of proof. Not many people can claim God does exist just by saying He should. The scientific way of truth is based on disproving lies and proving true physical claims, but cannot see spirituality.

It should be noted that in this world, much more people will believe something that has been proven physically, someone cannot claim a man with double joints once existed without proof.

That is the weakness of religions:: no proof. Therefore, God's existence cannot be truly proven. That is why I say I am slightly agnostic, I am not sure whether he exists.

Does he exist or not? Why doesn't he show himself literally to the entire world? Why the secret? Is he real? Why are there many of him? Too many questions, aren't there? Those are mine. If they all can be answered, I'll choose to be Christian, or atheist, or whatever comes to my mind, although then again, I am too lazy to do much.

When seeing the background of his spiritual life, although only a little -- his mother never seriously teaches him about religions. He claims he reads scientific books and not religious ones. Perhaps as this academic year goes on, I will be able to dig more about him. :)

I am absolutely on the contrary from him. My childhood was full of religious teachings, reciting Alquran, memorizing hadith, learning fiqh, etc. I must say that the teachings I got were very patriarchal; that is why as a child, in fact I got a bit hurt to learn that women were the weaker sex in the so-called truest religion, the most perfect one. My life experience as one victim in patriarchal society, combined with my spiritual experience, plus the readings I chose to read as an adult made me somewhat agnostic.

PT28 20.10 090810

Belief about God and Praying

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 12:18:00 +0000

The third week in my religion class, my students and I discussed ‘beliefs about God’. After we discussed the material I downloaded from this site , I led the discussion to the students’ weekly habit to go to church. There were only five students on that day. Three of them – girls – go to church every Saturday and Sunday. At first, their parents somewhat forced them to go to church. I am of opinion that this is the common way for Indonesian parents to introduce religions to their children. However, then, they admitted that after they grew older, they go to church because they want to; or even because they need to. Another student – a boy – did not remember whether he was forced by his parents to go to church when he was very little. The interesting thing from his experience is he said he often got bored when he was in the church. Yet, he feels sinful and he feels something missing in his life if he doesn’t go to church on Sunday. The last student – a boy – said that his mother never forced him to go to church. Nevertheless, he has experience to go to church for sure.

The following thing, I led the discussion to praying. “What does “praying” mean to you?”

Two girls said that they pray to God when they want some things to come true in her life. They believe that God is the only Being that can help them make their dreams come true. They also sometimes pray to God to say thanks to God after making their dreams come true. Another student – a boy – said that he hardly prays to God. He goes to church only to attend and listen to the sermons. One student – a girl – also said that she hardly prays to God. This is very interesting to me because during my experience as a so-called religious person, during praying five times a day, I mostly asked God to make my dreams come true; only sometimes I said thanks to God during my prays. :-p For me, praying five times a day – either at home or at mosque – is analogous with asking God to make my dreams come true. For this one student of mine, going to church does not always mean praying to God. Going to church means attending services only. Furthermore, she said, “For me, praying means communicating with God, especially when I have problems, I need someone to talk to, and God is the only Being I trust. This is very private and I usually do this at home, in my bedroom.” FYI, as far as I am concerned, she is an introvert person.

This is also very interesting to me because recently I start thinking that praying is none other than communicating with ourselves. What we dream will not come true if we do not do anything real as efforts. When the so-called religious people need a Being outside from themselves to talk to, I as a secular – or agnostic sometimes LOL – do not really need that Being outside me. I talk to myself! You can check my post at P R A Y I N G

When I said this to my students, one last student in the class – he admitted that he is an agnostic, the one whose mother never forced him to go to church – said, “Miss … I always talk to myself, most of the time.” Simply I said, “It means you ALWAYS pray!” LOL.

GL7 12.08 090810

Truth in Religion Class

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 23:33:00 +0000

This academic year, 2010/2011, for the first time I am assigned to handle religion subject in my workplace. As the material to discuss in class, I download those provided at T R U T H Since this is an international school, we are not limited to discuss only one religion. However, because the six students in the eleventh grade are Christian/Catholic, according the personal information they gave the school, I decided to discuss Christianity first.

In the first week, we discussed TRUTH. As you can see from the abovementioned website, TRUTH is divided into five ways, aesthetic truth, historical truth, moral truth, scientific truth, and the last one is religious or spiritual truth. After we discussed it in the classroom, I assigned my students to write around a one-hundred word paragraph to answer the question “What do you know about truth?”

In this post, I chose two writings of my students that I considered outstanding.

John:

In my opinion, truth is about reality and fact, something that is real and does exist. Why I say reality, it is something that is provable and shown and has truly happened with everyone agreeing in its existence; whether it is an event, an object, or a living being. Or Zeus.

In our current era, scientific truth is the most effective truth. Films are photos are no longer truth; mere words don’t always reach. Thanks a lot to photoshop. Other “truths” are not proving much, because modern era beliefs are far different from those the old era beliefs. Le prechaun, anyone?

However, the scientific truth has mostly brought down imaginations of the people; films get ridiculous, gets illogical, etc. for example, do aliens that are allergic to water exist? Will they attack earth which is ¾ water? Is this the truth? They are suicide.

Vanya:

The word ‘truth’ has actually lots of different meanings. When we hear ‘truth’ we generally think about facts that are proven and unbiased. As much as this definition is correct, it is not the only way we can define ‘truth’. Truth can also mean, especially in religion, something we believe in; or what we have faith in. For example, as a Christian, I may say that Jesus Christ is my ‘truth’, but there is no evidence that this is so; therefore non Christians may be skeptical about it.

In history, ‘truth’ has a slightly different meaning. Historians record what they think happened in the past from findings articles and artifacts. In a way, the historians create their own ‘truth’.

For me, though, personally, I think ‘truth’ is about what we know about ourselves, our beliefs, our world and our lives. It is what gives u a purpose to live.

Well, I must say that I enjoy this class perhaps because I consider my spiritual journey fulfilling enough. I want to share the similar stuff with those young students of mine.

Nana Podungge
PT56 06.20 070810

P R A Y I N G

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 13:04:00 +0000

“Praying is none other than communication with ourselves.”

I happened to find this statement in one note of one online buddy on FB several weeks ago. A spiritualist, this is how he labeled himself. At that time, using my ‘present’ point of view I could see the ‘truth’ behind this statement. I don’t consider myself as a spiritualist though. As one can find in my profile information on FB, I wrote ‘a secular Muslim’ to label myself, although in practice, I am more to agnostic or deist. Anyway, what is labeling for?

In communicating with myself I can write in my diary, blogs, or even write to my loved ones – my other half, my good friends, even recently in statuses of my FB. I sometimes need my loved ones to reply what I have written. However, just writing to them something has been very fulfilling.

Or maybe not in the form of writing? For those who find writing difficult thing to do, just talk to ourselves, in our bedroom, in the restroom, on our way to somewhere (make sure still be alert to the traffic), when swimming, at the office (when you can spare time being alone).

Indeed, praying can be done anywhere and anytime. :)

PBIS 11.50 270410

The Life Before Her Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Mon, 10 May 2010 12:36:00 +0000

“The power of visualization can shape one’s own future.”

This movie – The Life Before Her Eyes – is based on the thesis above. Diana, Evan Rachel Wood, is imagining what her future life would be like after she listened to the speech given by one professor at her school, Paul McFee.

Diana is an imaginative, impetuous, wild teenager. After listening to McFee’s speech, Diana starts to visualize her future life. She is married to Professor Paul McFee, having one daughter, Emma, and she works as an art teacher. Contradictory from her life as a wild teenager, she visualizes her future life as a very ‘common’ woman in general, in a very common marriage life.

However, Diana cannot prove the thesis stated by the professor, that she can shape her own future by having strong visualization – that she would lead a very common life, like many other women on the globe. Diana is tragically killed in a Columbine-like shooting incident at her school. When the killing happens, Diana is in a restroom with her best friend, Maureen. After shooting many people around the school, Michael, the shooter, enters the restroom where Diana and Maureen tensely wait for their turn. Michael forces the two girls to choose which one to be killed. Maureen offers herself first. Michael then asks Diana why not her. She acquiesces and asks to be killed. She is then shot and dies; leaving Maureen shocked.

The interesting thing from the visualization, in my opinion, is that Diana visualizes herself as a very ‘common’ woman, a married woman, having a kid, working as a teacher, and her loving husband (eventually) is involved in an affair with a younger woman. Diana’s life as a teenager is different from Maureen who is depicted as a conservative girl. Diana exposes her curiosity in drugs and sex by having a relationship with a guy who likes her because she is a ‘courageous’ girl. The guy does not want to be responsible, though, after Diana gets pregnant, and let her solve the problem by going to the hospital herself to get abortion.

Nevertheless, Diana visualizes her daughter, Emma as having a personality trait like her. This makes herself feels very concerned.

Anyway, when finally Michael chooses to kill her, instead of Maureen, from her facial expression, one can see that Diana is depicted to die peacefully. She has saved her best friend’s life.

PT56 11.15 090510

My Literature Classes

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 13:22:00 +0000

It all started from my favorite poem entitled AN OBSTACLE by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, then my (present) students labeled me as "a woman movement fighter". LOL.

Annually, every even semester I have two classes in one private university in Semarang: Poetry Analysis and Drama Analysis. As an acclaimed feminist, one can guess that I will choose some materials related to women in the two classes. Besides "An Obstacle", I discussed "Reassurance", which was also written by Gilman. I chose it when in the class discussing 'some poems written by the same poet' to recognize the presence of the poet in his/her works. For those who study Gilman's works, they will easily recognize that all of her works represent her ideas as one 'heroine' for equality, be it poems, articles, or short stories.

Gilman lived in an era (1860-1935) where many American women struggled for suffrage. Nevertheless, Gilman never involved herself in such a struggle because she believed that to make women equal with men, having rights to vote in general election was not enough. She opined that women had to get equal rights to work outside the home, as well as to bear their own name, instead of just known as Mrs. X.

To commemorate Kartini Day on April 21 (FYI, Kartini was chosen by Soeharto New Order regime as a heroine for her struggle to give women equal chance to pursue education) I chose two other poems to be discussed in Poetry Analysis class, "Dedication of the Cook" by Anna Wickham, a British poet, and "Women of My Color" by Wanda Coleman, an African American poet. The two poems illustrate different problems women face. Wickham questioned whether women could have their private time to do what they wanted – such as to “indite an ode or mend a sonnet”, to be a great poet – and not troubled by household chores. Meanwhile, Coleman described the unfavorable condition to be born as a black woman. It is obviously stated that African American women had to liberate themselves first from any stereotypes addressed to them, then they could join the white women’s struggle for equality with men.

In Drama Analysis class, I chose TRIFLES by Susan Glaspell. Although this play was written around a century ago, Glaspell sharply chose a topic that is still up-to-date nowadays. She narrated the way men viewed women, bothering ‘trivial’ things too much so that they were not as alert as men, while in fact, from those ‘trifles’ the two women in the play even successfully discovered the background why Minnie Foster murdered her husband.

One very favorable thing for me to teach literature classes: I choose any literary work through which I can expose my feminist perspective, to ‘awaken’ my students from the latent danger of patriarchal culture. :)

PBIS 10.40 270410

My analysis on 'An Obstacle' is at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com/2007/05/obstacle.html

My analysis on "Women of my Color" is at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com/2007/03/response-on-colemans-women-of-my-color.html

My analysis on "Reassurance" is at http://afeministblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/welcome-women_16.html

Mother - daughter relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 13:08:00 +0000

I just read an article on how parents –especially mothers – wrongly treat their daughters so that it will worsen the relationship between mother – daughter. To make it worse, it will make daughters lose their confidence to be women.

Click here http://cetak.kompas.com/read/xml/2010/04/11/04030467/ibu.dan.anak.perempuan (in Bahasa Indonesia)

The fact that many mothers becoming the biggest critic to their daughters is the main scapegoat. The criticism varies from a ‘trivial’ thing such as wearing ‘improper’ clothes and makeup (according to the mothers’ opinion of course), to the way how daughters comment on their mothers’ confiding in them, to what kind of guy daughters date, until the so-called ridiculous thing in this era – checking their hymen when those mothers find out that their daughters have already had sex out of wedlock and then force them to have hymen operation, in order to be ‘recognized’ as “pure” women when they have their ‘first night’ with their husband later on.

The first point: wearing improper clothes and makeup. Indeed it is true that those ‘mothers’ were also “victims” in their own era. For example when they did not wear ‘proper’ makeup and clothes, they were ridiculed by their contemporaries – let’s say schoolmates, college mates, or workmates. Their being inferior made them feel uneasy. Not being able to find the reason what made them uncomfortable, they took the negative comment to their heart. In fact, it didn’t need to happen like that if they had big confidence to be themselves: to wear clothes and make according to their own taste.

Not wanting their daughters to be ridiculed like how they used to be, those mothers keep criticizing their daughters. They force their daughters to follow the ‘trend’ or even worse, the way patriarchal culture stereotypes women’s appearance. They do not realize that their daughters are different from them. In fact, those mothers just need to be confident, and tell their daughters, “Be yourself, and be confident.”

The second point: the way daughters comment on their mothers. It is also believed that people tend to forget that nothing stays the same, era changes. When their daughters were still little, they tended to listen to anything their mothers said. After the daughters grow up, getting knowledge – both from school / campus or from their socializing with many people, they possibly have different ways of thinking from their mothers. When their mothers confide in them – for example how their husbands treat them badly – the daughters comment something that is perhaps inappropriate, or not to the mothers’ want, the mothers complain strongly, “Why are you so mean to me? Not like when you were a kid?” This then makes their relationship bad. The mothers accuse the daughters misunderstand them. Worse than this, these inferior mothers will threaten their daughters that they will not get a husband if they do not behave well.

Again, in this case, I see how marriage-oriented society – as a result of patriarchal culture – victimizes women.

The third point: judging the guy the daughters date. Instead of having an open heart-to-heart communication between mothers and daughters, there is a tendency that those mothers just judge the guy the daughters date. The mothers’ disapproval without giving clear reasons absolutely worsens the relationship. It will be worse when the mothers keep bugging their daughters whose age is considered to be ‘crucial’ to get married soon. “Don’t make me embarrassed because you are still single in this age. Get a guy and marry him.” However, when the daughters date a guy who is not to the mothers’ ‘taste’, they will be condemned.

Again, the patriarchal culture takes its toll!

The fourth point is the worst of all. In this era, like it or not, having sex outside the wedlock has become sub culture all over the world, including Indonesia. However, many so-called conventional mothers just think about their own ‘good name’ before the parents of the guy the daughter is going to marry. To be able to keep the daughters’ purity is still one thing making them proud to be ‘good parents’. Therefore when they find out that their daughters have had sex outside the wedlock, they will ask their daughters to have hymen operation. They don’t realize that it will even degrade their own self-esteem. Isn’t it better that those mothers – daughters have good and open communication so that they will understand each other well.

When viewing it from feminist point of view, sadly I must say that even in this era, patriarchal culture still strongly exists.

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A spiritual teacher

noreply@blogger.com (Nana Podungge) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:37:00 +0000

I must say that my recent spiritual journey was not only very excitingly fulfilling but tiring as well. I recognized the beginning of my spiritual journey happened in 2003, the same moment when I got to know feminism ideology. I started to label myself ‘secular’ perhaps two years afterwards. For several years, it was going on very slowly but surely I suppose.

As I wrote in my post “My Spiritual Journey”, I underwent this journey all alone; I mixed everything I have read with my experience in life. I did not involve anybody around me at that time, except very few good friends to whom I talked about this matter. And they were just my good listeners and observers (of my behavior). :) But they did not take any important role.

Several days ago I found a status on FB about the quality of someone to be a ‘spiritual guru’ in someone’s spiritual journey.

“He/she is a ‘mursyid’ if anything he/she says gives you awakening, and that will make you a better human being. If not, just leave him/her because it means that he/she is just a fake ‘mursyid’” This was the status.

I commented that I didn’t have any but myself. “Too confident and narcissistic?” I questioned.
“No. It is ok. However, to avoid straying off to a very mistaken ‘interpretation’, someone had better be led by a spiritual guru. Make sure that he/she is the right guru. After that, follow him/her saying because a guru is a saint.”

I am really sorry to say that to me this sounded very ridiculous and stupid. I don’t need a guru!!! (Aha, what AE said about myself was correct: I am a spiritual snob. LOL.)

As I wrote in the beginning of this post, my recent spiritual journey has been very fulfilling and tiring. This was due to my encountering with many new online buddies on FB and many of them label themselves as ‘spiritualist’. Reading their statuses as well as their notes has made my facebooking activity enthralling; but at the same time they also absorbed my energy!!! Unconsciously, I have forced my spiritual journey run very fast (while for some years it went on slowly).

After for many years I just naively knew religious snobs from my ‘own folks’ (Islam), those online buddies opened my eyes that religious snobs come from any religion/faith. My research on ‘fundamentalist secularism’ some weeks ago made me aware that secularists can be extremist. There is a sucking opinion too when someone said in Indonesia, imported religions/faiths are not supposed to survive. (Abrahamic Faiths were ‘imported’ from Middle East countries, Buddha and Hindu were also imported, and so was Confucianism.) And everyone sounds annoyingly compelling. Why don’t they just adhere peace by respecting other people’s faiths? So that other people will respect theirs too? “lakum dinukum waliyadin” => your faith is your own business, my faith is mine.
And I am exhausted.
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