Life's a Bumpy Road

Healing Your Loneliness

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 19:55:00 +0000

To transform the emptiness of loneliness to the fullness of aloneness. Ah, that is the secret of life. Sunita Khosla

We all know what loneliness feels like. And each of us perceives this in our own unique way. Some equate loneliness with being alone. But while both offer opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth, loneliness is suffering, and solitude of itself is simply being alone and need not involve a state of loneliness.

Loneliness involves a sense of loss and/or separation, and may come from many sources: loss of a loved one, the empty nest, illness, isolation, rejection, a major move to a strange place, etc. A shy person may lack social skills, and becomes isolated and lonely. Maybe you've always been lonely, and you don't know why. It just feels like a piece of your heart is missing. For some people, loneliness is the result of a childhood experience that left them unloved and alone.

When I was 6 years old, my father died, and it left a hole in my heart that was filled with loneliness. For most of my life I fought it. But that only strengthened its presence until, with help, I was finally able to let it go. I'll always miss my father, but I no longer feel that deep pain I lived with for so many years.

Involvement with others is the single most important factor influencing our health, well being, and happiness. We humans have a strong need to experience personal connections. And any type of isolation causes psychological problems like fear, abandonment, loneliness, etc. And reaching out becomes more difficult. In our present world, advanced technology greatly reduces meaningful interactions with others. People become attached to their hand held devices that provide only written words without a voice to communicate. This situation has become the norm, but it can lead to a sense of isolation with less time, or inclination, for really meaningful relationships.

No other form of communication is as universally understood as touch. The compassionate touch of a hand or a reassuring hug can take away our fears, soothe our anxieties, and fill the emptiness of being lonely. Randi G. Fine

Evolutionary Psychologist Robin Dunbar speaks of healthy interactions with others, and says, "On their own, words are slippery things. It seems essential to have face-to-face interaction if you're going to build a relationship with someone that has any meaning. You get more information from the way that someone touches you, about how they see you, and how they see the relationship between you than anything they could ever say."

Lonely people may feel no one cares, and some give up. But there are always ways to deal with loneliness. Sometimes it can be healed...Sometimes not. But it's always worth a conscientious try. First accept loneliness as where you are now. Then it's no longer your enemy. And if you work toward change with intention and commitment, it can bring a letting go of limiting beliefs, and lead to freedom and purpose in your life.

We need to communicate our thoughts and feelings, so find someone who's willing to listen. If you don't know a listener, see a clergy in your place of worship. Don't have one? Then get one. They have good hugs there too. Otherwise find a counselor. But no matter how you feel, reach out to a few trusted people and start communicating. Even a pleasant hello is a good start.

Go within and talk to your loneliness. Search for answers, and Clarify the cause of your lonely feelings. Did you experience a loss? Is it from your childhood? And is there a situation you have power to change? If so, devise a plan with intention and commitment. If not, soothe your inner child's pain, and continue inner work with patience and faith for healing. And ask yourself what you can learn and how you can grow from this experience.

When you're ready, affirm your strength and give loneliness permission to leave. Bless it with peace, and replace it with a period of solitude where you can communicate with Spirit. You've never been separated from this inner love and comfort, and it will sustain you now. Then reach out to others with love from your heart. And allow yourself to receive love. Loneliness will have nowhere to live, and it will leave you. And you will find peace.

I wish you freedom to be your beautiful self.

Marilyn

You Can Have A Second Childhood

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Thu, 12 Apr 2018 04:06:00 +0000

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. Friedrich Nietzsche

Laughter contains powerful energy--the kind that transcends pain, dries tears and heals wounds--the kind we experience during one of those, maybe rare, second childhood moments when we let our inner child out to play, and with every giggle we feel joy in our heart. Allowing our inner child to express in a second childhood promotes health in our lives in many ways.

To me, children are fascinating. They haven't yet learned to dwell on regrets from the past and miss today's blessings. They experience both pain and sadness in life as we all do, but most seem able to bounce back, live more in the present and savor the good times. They're curious, creative, funny, and forgiving. We all have that inner child, but many of us lose that spirit when we grow up and feel driven to express only as responsible adults according to an acceptable image. To do otherwise would not be proper. Or maybe we get so busy we forget what brought us joy as children.

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up. Pablo Picasso

A few years ago while sitting alone on a bench in the park just reading and taking time out from a difficult week, I heard unusual footsteps on the sidewalk coming my way. They sounded light, almost musical. I looked up and saw a child about 5 years old holding his mother's hand while he skipped along to a certain beat all his own. When our eyes met, he broke into a giant smile, and I acknowledged with a smile of my own. No words were spoken, but we didn't need words. Our smiles remained as he passed. And we expressed joy together until he and his mother took a turn, and we lost contact.

For a little while, I was a kid again, and I recaptured that inner child part of me that doesn't come out often enough to laugh and play. I wanted to put the experience in my pocket and take it out whenever times are hard, when I need a second childhood moment to turn a painful challenge into a time of hope.

Once in a while I let my child out and do silly things, but not often enough. So I think I'll let her out more often. Of course I can't stand on my head or walk five miles to the old swimming hole like I used to. But I can still play music and dance around the house, or play in my yard in the rain, or laugh at myself when I look in the mirror instead of moaning at what I see. And I don't have to eat brussels sprouts if I don't want to.

Childhood means simplicity. Look at the world with the child's eye--it is very beautiful. Kailash Satyarthi

What do your childhood memories hold for you? Did you ever make an airplane from a piece of paper, or fly down a snowy hill on a sled, or swim the ocean in a kiddie pool, or get mad at a playmate, then laugh together the next day without judgment? And did you say your prayers and give hugs to someone every day? Maybe not. Each of us is unique, and we have our own memories. And those memories may contain some pain and sadness. But how wonderful to create a second childhood moment and experience some of the joy that was there in spite of some of the pain that was there too.

You can have those second childhood moments. Allow your adult self to forgive and release any childhood pain and sadness you may feel from the past. And invite your inner child to come out and play. Just have fun acting like a kid again in any way that's yours. And relish those moments with that part of you that knows how to laugh and feel the joy of living. Then when someone shakes their head and says, "You must be in your second childhood," you can grin and say, "Absolutely."

I wish you fantastic second childhood experiences.

Marilyn

Staying Sane In Stressful Situations

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 00:55:00 +0000

I've heard that problems come in threes, and I recently had my three. First I was ready to copy an important paper, but my printer was out of ink. Okay. Get more ink. But I forgot how to insert a new ink cartridge. So I got out the manual, studied, and did it right. That wasn't so hard after all.

Then feeling smug about my first ordeal, the second one appeared. My land phone had been giving me less and less time to talk before it beeped and then cut me off. Finally, it just died. I know about people, but I'm a dummy with mechanical stuff, so I got out the manual. Manuals are so smart. They know everything. Well, I learned that phones need new batteries. Duh. So I got a new battery and solved that problem.

Then my third challenge came when my A/C wasn't putting out cold air. Now that was really out of my league, and I couldn't remember if I ever had a manual to solve that one. I figured a repair person wouldn't need a manual, but they can be expensive. However, sweat running down my back convinced me there was no other way. So I called a brilliant repair person, then sat under the cool air reassuring myself that it was worth every penny.

By now I was sick of feeling stressed out solving problems, one after another. I know what to do with stress, how to manage it, or even eliminate it, but that's hard to do when you're in the midst of a crisis. I realize those weren't big crises, but don't they seem like giants when you're confronted with them, especially when you're one manual short? I envy people who can keep their sanity even when vultures are descending to eat their young. We could take a lesson from them. The people, not the vultures.

So now I'm retrieving my little Mental Stress Manual to remind me to pay attention the next time stress attacks me. I've been through some biggies in my life. Handled some well, some not so well. And if you ignore stress or don't know it's there, it can really do a number on you. You just gotta be prepared.

So here's how my little Mental Stress Manual says to handle stress in any situation. You have to catch the stress before it gets full blown, because full blown is too late. Right before you feel the stress, you'll feel a very subtle knot in your belly. Sometimes a knot in your belly is from something you ate, but with stress, it can come from something you're thinking about. On the outside it can come from another person and/or situation. And it depends upon how you're responding. Do you feel capable to handle whatever's happening? Or are you caught up in pangs of concern over the happening? If it's the latter, and you feel that knot, you better get busy with your stress obliteration technique. It's a monster if you let it get out of hand. And it's a lot more difficult to solve a problem when you're stressed out. You can begin with a few deep breaths to get you on the right track.

One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm. Catherine Pulsifer

1. Identify the beginning of stress (the knot) and talk to it. "Hello. I know you well, and I want you to know that I'm not at all afraid of you. I decree that no matter what you do, you have no power over me. You're no more than a fly on a horse's rump. And I'm the horse. I have the power to handle any situation in a calm, peaceful way, which I intend to do. So you might as well leave now."
2. Whether the situation is internal or external, picture an image of something that represents peace to you. ie A dove, a white aura, angels, balloons floating in the air, a beautiful sunrise, whatever has meaning for you. And associate with that peaceful feeling as the stress loses its power, or better yet, doesn't even materialize.
3. Express gratitude. No matter what the result, express gratitude.

The more you do this, the more effective it becomes. And if you forget, like I did, you can even create your own Mental Stress Manual and start over. Stress can be a stubborn critter, but you can be stubborn-er, and turn it off. And you become stronger with each experience.

I wish you peaceful encounters in your life.

Marilyn

How To Let Anger Work For You. Part 2, Taming The Tiger

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 18 Mar 2018 19:00:00 +0000

Anger is a great force. If you control it, it can be transmuted into power which can move the whole world. William Shenstone

As you go through life, whatever you encounter demands some kind of response. And the way you perceive and interpret external and internal situations dictates what each response will be. Most of your responses are automatically just daily routine. But when a situation produces a strong emotion like fear, frustration, loss, insecurity, or hurt, anger may follow. And you let the tiger loose on someone or some thing. Deep down you know it doesn't solve anything, except maybe give you a false sense of satisfaction and power. But you still go there. Perhaps you've actually given it power over you.

During my years of angry outbursts, when I threw a chair through my backdoor screen, or slung spaghetti against my kitchen wall, or all my other angry episodes, I believed that lashing out would stop my pain. But it left me exhausted, and I still hurt inside. Then I learned there's another side to this phenomenon. Anger can be useful if you use it as a tool for positive change rather than a remedy that doesn't work. Yes, it needs to be controlled, but it can help you grow and find more peace in your life.

Anger is pure energy, and you can work with it to your advantage. If you see anger as a teacher, you can use it as a catalyst to help you understand your fears and correct your faulty beliefs and perceptions, the real causes of your anger. The better you understand yourself, the better you're able to deal with life situations.

Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Meloday Beattie

Anger doesn't stand alone. Anger is a symptom, and its presence is always a clue that something inside needs your attention, some emotional pain crying out for help that you need to work through. So when you feel anger building, pay attention, and change your focus to resolve issues and find peace that you may have missed without this intervention. It can teach you to look inside and begin your search for answers through inner and outer work. As you do the work and changes take place within, your anger will gradually diminish, even disappear.

Inner Work
1. Begin your search within for answers.
Write letters to yourself with questions: What am I afraid of? What in me feels threatened?
What in me needs changing? What situations make me angry?
Recall times when you were angry and, without judgment, analyze what you were feeling then...fear, panic, anxiety, sadness? Be clear about what you remember.
Write down whatever answers you discover.
2. Clearing painful feelings.
Confront each answer with solutions for positive change, and work on ways to create the changes
you want. Emphasize peace, strength, power, etc. You might address your painful feelings to release them like, "Now I release you with love." Or use affirmations, "I let go of the pain. I am free." If this process seems difficult, take some breaths and repeat. It gets easier.
3. Forgive others who may have hurt you. And forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Outer Work
1. Stopping anger.
When anger appears, listen to what it's telling you. Then quickly stomp your foot to get rid of it with a key word that has strong meaning for you like, No, Stop, Whoa, etc. Repeat several times until it weakens and maybe stops.
2. If anger remains, repeat step 1 again and refocus with affirming statements. "I have a right to be in control of my actions, I take back my power," etc. Use whatever stops the angry feeling before it becomes full blown. Now you're on your way to taming the tiger. Work with it until it gives up.

Anger may totally disappear, but if it still pops up once in a while, use your outer work and release it by doing something active. I do my best house cleaning when I'm angry. Ride a bike, run around the block, clean the car. Once you learn to identify and better deal with inner problems, anger won't visit you as often. Just be happy.

I wish you peaceful days ahead to be your special self.

Marilyn

How To Let Anger Work For You. Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 20:43:00 +0000

Dear Readers, Today we're living in an angry world, and some of it can rub off on us causing discomfort, even pain. But anger doesn't have to be a bad thing when you understand it and know how to make it work for you. In the past I published a blog post on that subject, and would now like to share it again. Hopefully, it will turn some jangled nerves to more heart felt peace.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled. Marshall B. Rosenberg

The pot of spaghetti slammed into the wall, and I watched my supper run down onto my clean kitchen floor. I stomped my feet in it, and then got a hammer and a box of nails to repair the backdoor screen through which I'd just thrown a chair. I already needed to buy a new lamp. The one I threw across the room last week was beyond repair.

That was me--way too often--for too many years when repressed anger broke down the dam and gushed through with a mighty force. I know about anger. When I was a child, I was forbidden to show anger. But it had to go somewhere, so it seethed inside, waiting until I became an adult and could let it loose, uncontrolled and very painful.

Anger is a complex critter. When projected outward, it becomes destructive, sometimes even lethal. It can ruin relationships, careers, even property, as in my outbusts toward whatever inanimate object was within my reach when the monster reared up inside. Society tells us we shouldn't get angry, and if we do, we should just suck it up. As if stuffing it down somewhere inside is going to dissolve it. But when anger is repressed, it can cause ulcers, blood pressure imbalance, heart disease, any number of illnesses. On my 30th birthday, I vowed to never have another angry tantrum. And I didn't. But then my anger turned inward, and caused severe depression.

According to Marion Ross in her book, 'Removing Your Mask', anger is a specific form of fear at a very deep level, and most anger shows that people's internal and external realities are not in balance. The real message of anger is almost always about one's own beliefs, perceptions, or actions in a given situation or with particular people, not the situations or people themselves. P 194-195.

Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. Eckhart Tolle

So what causes anger? Where are you hurting?

Sometimes repressed anger will surface without a conscious reason. But anger is often your response to a thought, idea or belief that you or others are being treated unfairly or threatened by someone or something--look what they're doing to me, or that other person--or that you've fallen short of your standards for yourself--I'm so stupid. I should have done better. These perceptions may be associated with self-esteem issues, needing to feel secure and safe, your own imperfection, loss of something in your life, your sense of caring for others, or something as simple as a need to be right. For some, being wrong means invalidation of self, but being right provides a false sense of power.

When a situation arouses an inner fear, you may perceive anger as a way to deal with a situation, sometimes just to let off steam like throwing a chair through a screen door. Some of your perceptions may be accurate, but lashing out in anger is not the answer. Anger is a natural human emotion, and it can kill you or save your life, depending upon how you use it. But you must use it wisely for it to work for you instead of against you.

Next week in Part 2, I'll go into some ways to tame the tiger and put you in control, ways to allow it to help heal your fears and grow in truth.

I wish you a peaceful week.

Marilyn

A Time To Quit Or A Time To Stay. The Choice Is Yours.

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 00:15:00 +0000

In everyday life, we encounter many issues that take our time and energy and guide our life, one way or another. If the car breaks down, we get it fixed; if we lose our job, we look for another; if we're sick, we see a doctor. It's easy to get caught in the rush to keep up, and the load gets heavy, leaving us exhausted. Many people give up and spend years treading water while life slides by and leaves them wondering, "Where's the sunshine?"

All living creatures possess the will toward a meaningful life, and oftentimes this 'will' keeps us hanging on when we're too weak to see a way out. But sometimes life is more than a person can handle, and giving up becomes all there is. And it comes with the stigma of being a quitter. You've heard the classic advice, "Never give up...don't quit...quitting is for wimps." Is is really? What's involved?

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough. Unknown

Giving up usually comes from feeling overwhelmed about a situation with no other alternative available. The person becomes exhausted, and can't find enough stamina to keep going, or even make it through another day without rest. They lose sight of their inner 'will' to hang on, and may experience self condemning thoughts like, "I don't have what it takes; what's wrong with me?" etc. And they finally give up. But hopefully to rest and wait for a new day.

Knowing when you've had enough is when you feel unfulfilled, and you no longer see something as worth continuing. It may involve leaving a job you don't like, or dissolving an unhappy relationship; or whatever. But other paths are available, and you have freedom to choose what you'll do. When you've had enough of something, you're able to give it up and seek something better in life.

Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. Unknown

Another example is a person pursuing a dream their heart yearns for. But they keep running into dead ends, and nothing works out. As time passes, discouragement sets in, and they fear their dream may not be worth pursuing. So they give up trying. But eventually, if that inner 'will' pushes them to renewed hope, they can continue on to fulfillment of their dream.

If you're going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill

Recently I witnessed a small tenacious critter refusing to give up. It was a little fly floating in the cat's water bowl on my concrete patio, swimming like crazy to get out. I dipped him out of the bowl with a leaf, and told him to fly. He frantically tried, rolling over, kicking, and flapping his wings, but got nowhere. I watched intently with words of encouragement while he struggled for his life. Twice he flew a short distance, and fell back both times, but would not quit. I wondered how much that little fella could endure, when he suddenly took off flying through the air, up and away. My heart jumped when I heard him thanking me for believing in him. And I thanked him for a lesson learned.

Giving up or staying in is complicated, and a decision to either keep going or give up depends upon many variables in a situation. When you face a dilemma, consider what's at stake. What's the benefit or loss to either choice, how much are you suffering, can you deal with being seen as foolish if you hang on, or a wimp if you fold, and who will be affected by your decision? Will you throw in the towel and give up, or will you choose to get out when you've had enough and search for something better?

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." Anthony J. D'Angelo

Each day do what's yours in your special way. There's nothing wrong with quitting, but if something is worth continuing, get back to it, and let your light shine through it. You're free to be your beautiful self. You can give up some of the pit stops, but stay on the journey. It's yours, and it's blessed with your presence.

I wish you sunshine always.

Marilyn

Miracles Happen. See Your Miracles With Your Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 25 Feb 2018 00:14:00 +0000

Dear Readers. We all experience miracles in our lives. Some people only see a small coincidence, but others see an amazing miracle and never forget. Today I was reminded of one of my miracles. And I'd like to share it with you.

Of Course

Sometimes our prayers are answered in unexpected ways. When this happens to me, my initial response is usually one of amazement. But within a short time, I respond with of course and a knowing smile of gratitude.

One such blessing occurred when I worked in Administration for a Mental Health Agency coordinating services in five nursing homes. As a Psychotherapist, I'd worked in various settings, but now my work had become unfulfilling, and I felt overwhelmed and disillusioned. I made a list to satisfy my work needs, but after a week of good intentions, nothing came of it. So when one of the Counselors could not come in to work, I filled-in for her myself and gathered information on new patients to complete our files.

It was late in the day when I entered Martha's room, my last patient before leaving the nursing home. Martha was eighty-one years old, a frail woman with white hair and hazy blue eyes. Her face held lines pinched with time as if she hadn't smiled since she was young. She was oriented and alert, but in a highly agitated state when I approached her. She sat on the edge of her bed wringing her hands and swaying from side to side. She looked at me, but didn't acknowledge my presence.

I pulled a chair over beside her. "It's all right, dear," I said. "I just want to talk with you for a while." She watched curiously as I held her small hands and quietly began to calm her while asking questions for my files. "What kind of work did you do? How far did you go in school?"

He body became still, and she continued watching me. But she had not spoken when she suddenly reared back and asked with serious eyes, "Did God send you?"

Her question startled me, but I considered the importance of this situation. "Well...maybe He did," I answered and smiled.

"Well, I think He did," she said with firm conviction.

At that moment I decided my files could be completed another time, and I became open and receptive to whatever God had in mind for us. Martha began to relax and spoke of times she spent with her children when they were small. Her hands stopped shaking and her face lit up with memories of swimming in the creek, John learning to read, and Billy chasing chickens around the yard. She was engrossed in her stories. And I listened.

In a while, her head nodded, and her breathing became shallow. I saw she was tired, so I suggested she lay back on her pillow. When she was comfortably settled, I moved closer and asked if she could imagine things in her head. She nodded. Then I asked, "Can you imagine yourself a little child cradled in God's loving arms, feeling safe and at peace?"

"Yes, I can do that," she answered, slowly closing her sleepy eyes.

I watched her face for a moment and saw her thin mouth broaden into a peaceful smile. "I have to go now," I said. "But you rest and know that anytime you feel nervous and upset, you can just go inside and be with God, and He will comfort you."

"Mmm hmm." She squeezed my hand.

I left the room and felt my own peace as I stood in the hallway and glanced back at her. Now my work-needs list contained only one item. My answer was clear. I had to work with patients like Martha. Of course, I thought, and felt a knowing smile of gratitude.

Yes, miracles happen. Of course they do. And sometimes they bring a smile. But is a miracle a happenstance? Is it a blessing from God? Is it angels knocking on your door? You interpret them in your own way as they make sense to you. But know when you experience one. And some miracles may even change your life.

I wish you amazing times to remember.

Marilyn

The Many Faces Of Change And How They Affect Your Life

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 21 Feb 2018 18:26:00 +0000

Recently I was sitting outside watching leaves fall from the big oak trees, and I saw the first blossoms on my camelia bushes revel in the sunshine. A baby lizard ran beind the patio chair, and I heard birds talking bird language celebrating our early spring. I live in Florida, and we never know when an unpredictable weather change will arrive. So we go with the flow and welcome the beautiful change when it comes.

As I watched this change unfolding in nature, I thought about our own lives and the positive and negative changes we experience all the time. When life is going good, we coast along in the status quo and don't want anything to rock our boat. Then there are times we pray for, or initiate, a change to move us out of the mess we're in. Change is a law of the universe. Things are always moving, repositioning, increasing and decreasing, or taking a different form. And nothing stands still.

There are two types of change: the change we choose and the change that chooses us. Linda Ellerbee

Some changes are so subtle we don't even notice them happening. In the midst of a dull brain fog I may notice a tremendous idea that quietly crept in. Or I'm amazed at how quickly dust accumulates on the furniture. It wasn't there yesterday. But other devastating changes may hit suddenly, and these can affect our health, work, finances, relationships, any part of our life. Sometimes we have options, and we can choose what we want to change. But other times we're forced to accept what we don't want. And that's life.

Changes may be easy or difficult, but either way you could run into some inner obstacles. With a commitment to release something and create something new, you may feel overwhelmed. How can you let go of what's familiar and learn a new way? Or maybe you cling to an uncomfortable situation because you fear the unknown. And resistance sets in. Or you might experience the loss of someone or something good in your life, and you have to make painful changes to adjust.

In the waves of change, we find our true direction. Unknown

Change is inevitable, sometimes with unpredictable outcomes. We're constantly being moved along our path with no two moments the same, and we can't live in our status quo for long. Life is about growth, and we can't grow with our feet in mud from the last rain. The new rain has new puddles. Maybe it's time for new puddles.

"All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you." Octavia Butler

Examine various issues in your life, maybe feelings, an attitude, a situation. Observe the bigger picture of yourself and your life, and imagine how you want it to be. Then decide if you'd like to release something, change for the better, or create something new. There's no need to feel overwhelmed, afraid to change, or resistant to it. Everything you need is within you, and awareness supplies courage to make changes you might want. And if you feel now that your status quo is fine with you, just love yourself and be prepared for changes in the future. Remember change is inevitable.

Recently I came across a poem I've had for many years, and it reminds me of changes I've experienced in my life. The poem is quite revealing.

CHANGE

I have resisted change with all my will,

Cried out to life, "Pass by and leave me still."

But I have found as I have trudged time's track

That all my wishing will not hold life back.

All finite things must go their finite way;

I cannot bid the merest moment, "Stay."

So finding that I have no power to change

Change, I have changed myself. And this is strange.

But I have found out when I let change come,

The very change that I was fleeing from

Has often held the good I prayed for,

And I was not the less for change, but more.

Once I accepted life and was not loath

To change, I found change was the seed of growth.

I wish you a happy life filled with wonderful surprises.

Marilyn

The Many Forms Of Love. You Don't Need Words.

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 22:26:00 +0000

We usually think of love in a romantic sense, and how wonderful when 2 people find each other and share their lives in love and harmony together. But love can't be harnessed in only one dimension. Love reaches out, and its expression is found everywhere there is life, because love is life. Each year we celebrate Valentines Day reminding us to express the blessing we carry around inside. I've heard some people say they look forward to Valentines Day, because that's about the only time they hear 'I love you'. But love is expressed all year if we listen.

Valentines Day hasn't always been only for lovers as we generally think of it today. It has quite a history, and was once a pagan fertility festival, then later a religious celebration to commemorate St. Valentine. But there's a difference of opinion as to which Valentine that was. There were several. By the 18th century it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes on one day in February. And by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters. Now there are Valentine cards for just about anyone.

Since the words 'I love you' are usually meant in a romantic way, hearing or saying the words in any other context can sometimes cause discomfort. There's love for family, friends of both genders, agape, or spiritual love, and for our pets and plants. But some people think carefully before expressing love for anyone else. What would your neighbor think if one day you said, "I think you're a great neighbor, and I love you"? Or you phoned an acquaintance and said, "Just wanted you to know I'm glad to know you, and I love you"? Raised eyebrows? Love is a natural emotion, so why not express it as we choose?

Love takes many forms from quiet uttering of the words 'I love you' to love so grand it takes your breath away. Even animals and plants express love in their own ways. Have you ever seen love in the eyes of a devoted pet for its caretaker? Or when a thirsty plant responds to a healthy watering? That's love. And we love them back.

"Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones we receive it." Dr. Karl Menninger

Love is akin to many experiences. It doesn't always speak as love, but when you feel gratitude, peace, encouragement, support, kindness, acceptance, happiness, etc, do you not feel a loving tug in your heart? At times like this we may not make a conscious connection to love, but it's there. And it's healing what needs to be healed. Love is like spark plugs in a car to make it run. A particular spark of loving energy produces expression in all of life. But we must be willing to allow love to manifest through us.

I believe that love expands. As you give love out, it's received and reciprocated--and it grows. That's the beauty of it. Hill Harper

Love doesn't always have to be verbalized. You can love without words, and opportunities are abundant. You can smile and wish a stranger a happy day; or hold a door open for someone struggling with an arm full of packages; or wink at a little boy riding in Mama's grocery cart; or run an errand for a neighbor; or hug a friend. Isn't that love? And don't both of you feel it? When I was working, 'I love you' was never said. But I loved all of my patients. And they loved me back.

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. Louise L. Hay

As you go through life loving others, don't forget to love yourself. There's something special in you, like no other. And you deserve a miracle. What would that be for you? Maybe discovering just how special you are, and feeling it down to your toes. Give yourself a hug, and feel your special love in your heart. And take it with you everyday.

Let love shine in you.

Marilyn

Move Your Mountains And Find More Of Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 07 Feb 2018 22:50:00 +0000

Dear readers, I apologize for this article being late, but I just came through a mountain of my own, and it took a while to catch up. I hope you enjoy this reading. Maybe it will sound familiar. Blessings to all.

You are not IN the mountains. The mountains are in YOU. John Muir

Life is a series of the good times that warm our heart and put a smile on our face, or times so painful we wonder if we'll survive, and all those in-between times we call routine. We hope for the good ones, but sometimes we're faced with sudden challenges that knock us off our routine path. Each of us is on our own unique journey, and whatever is on one path may not be on another. we never know what each tomorrow will bring. But we're all faced with something, some time. And we all have our mountains to move.

Pain comes on many levels. Some situations nullify your plans like when you're ready for work and your car has a flat, or you receive notice you didn't pay your mortgage, or you forget to register your kid for summer day camp, etc. Others can mean life shattering devastation like sudden illness, loss of a job, death of a loved one, financial loss, the list goes on. Some experiences are extremely hard while others seem less demanding, but whatever the severity, life pushes us to learn and grow from each experience.

How do you respond when a challenge hits? Maybe the first thought is to panic with a 'what if' attitude. What if I'm late for work; what if this ruins my credit; what if my kid thinks I forgot because I don't care. Or more serious, what if I don't get well; what if I can't find another job; what if I can't find peace; what if I lose everything. Our attention is usually so turned toward the outside, we often don't listen to what's going on inside. Are you thinking fear, lack, I can't do it, or any other defeating notion? These thoughts may be your biggest mountains, and only you can move them.

When you focus on faith rather than fear, you tap into a strength to carry you over even the tallest mountains. Gail Lynne Goodwin

Challenges in our life are teaching experiences, and every mountain serves a purpose. They present opportunities to discover something we need on our journey. And they help us realize our strength in overcoming. Turn your mind from fear to faith, and deny that any self-defeating beliefs have power over you. Then replace them with truth. "There is nothing to fear, I have everything I need, I have faith in the Power within to move mountains, and I have faith in myself to be guided and strengthened. I can do it." Give these ideas positive energy, and they will manifest in positive ways.

As you build on your faith, move away from worries, and move toward a solution. Step back, and gauge the size of the mountain you're facing. Theres a saying, "Don't make mountains out of molehills." How big is your mountain really? It might be just a little hill to step over. Size up the mountain, and create a plan. Ask, "How big is it, and what can I do about it? What are the consequences if I can't fix it? Where can I find help if I need it?" Etc. Accept where you are, and voice your intention to move forward.

The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. Confucius

Don't feel like you have to hurry through this. Someone once told me that when you're working with a life challenge, remember it's a process, and you have to allow it to unfold in its time, as you're doing what's yours to do. She also said that each time we overcome a challenge, something inside changes, and we're better for it. So take the time you need to move your mountain, and welcome the change within yourself.

For every mountain there is a miracle. Robert H. Schuller

Moving mountains isn't easy. It takes practice and patience, knowing that each overcoming moves you closer to being more of what you're meant to be. And if there's something you can't get past right now, it's okay. You haven't failed. Celebrate the mountains you've moved, and be grateful for those you haven't. They're part of your journey, and will serve a purpose. Their time will come. And you are blessed.

I wish you freedom to discover more of you.

Marilyn

Your Words Reveal Who You Are...Or do they?

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Tue, 30 Jan 2018 02:21:00 +0000

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. Robin Williams

The words we speak not only affect others, but they affect the speaker too. We assign meanings to the words we use and those we hear. And these meanings register in our mind, affecting the way we think and feel. Words are powerful tools that can bring happiness to a broken heart, peace to a tired soul, whimsical laughter to a child at play. They convey profound ideas, or play with the absurd. They describe our neighbors, and discuss the latest gossip.

"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do." Thomas Jefferson

One word can be as powerful as a whole sentence. When something pushes our buttons, a sentence may push us into a hole, while just one word can get us over the hump. Many people have a 'key' word they use to reduce stress or to express an attitude or feeling. When my daughter was a small child, she sat on the floor putting a toy together while I visited with my mother-in-law. Suddenly, she said, "Oh, dammit." And my mother-in-law glared in shock. I tried to cover up with, "I wonder where she got that." Then she looked up and commented, "What, Mommy, that word you say?" Well, I just sank further into my chair. And yes, I changed my favorite word.

The user of a key word has to really feel the word for it to become a meaningful habit. Maybe you've heard people use 'oh, well', 'really', 'whew', etc. My favorite word now is 'whatever'. I rarely use it in conversation, but it has an amazing ability to release a tremendous load of stress when I push to frustration trying to accomplish something. To me, it means the situation is not the end of the world, so I can just let it go, at least for now.

Words are powerful. They can create or they can destroy. So choose your words wisely. Unknown

Words have been known to change whole civilizations when a crazy person sits in the power seat spouting directions to his helpless subjects. They gather in the streets carrying signs with words of protest. But they remain helpless, and eventually bend to oppression. When we hear false statements long enough, we tend to believe them. And today we live in a world where words have transformed peaceful, caring minds into 'us and them' attitudes filled with judgment, hate, anger, fear, and separation from one another. Now is when words of love and peace are needed. And a good place to start is with our words to ourselves about who we are.

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. Anthony Robbins

Thoughts speak with words, and these words create beliefs and feelings about ourselves and others. Listen carefully to what your own thoughts are saying about you. Are there doubts about the truth of who you are? And have you allowed the words of others to sway your vision of your true self? Look closely at your self-image, and answer these questions. Then use descriptive words to reveal the truth about you, words like honest, loyal, intelligent, kind, good looking, anything positive. And add some words for negative traits you can work on. We all have those.

I think three things are important for people to feel whole and fulfilled...understanding, validation, and caring. All of these can be accomplished in the way we speak to others and in the way we hear others speak to us. Too often in conversations we're just hearing words, and not really hearing the other person. But if you listen with a caring attitude and your words reflect on what they're saying, they'll hear and feel the goodness that is you. Both will feel whole and fulfilled. And they will not forget.

We're living in a time when too many people have chosen a hateful journey. And we all suffer. Make your journey one of peace, harmony, and love. And let your words reveal this in you and as you. Then our journey may have a different future

Enjoy your words. They reveal who you are.

Marilyn

How To Be Open And Receptive To Receive Your Blessings

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Mon, 22 Jan 2018 05:04:00 +0000

Human life runs its course in the metamorphosis between receiving and giving. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you've decided what you want in your life this year, hopefuly you trust that you'll receive your desires. This approach raises your vibrational energy to attract the good you want. And once you raise this vibrational level, your good will come. It sounds great. But what if your desires don't materialize, and you wonder why the process isn't working?

Desire and faith are necessary in the abundance process. But the Universal Law of giving and receiving requires balance in both giving and taking. And when we go against the very nature of this law we suffer. Takers lack close connection with others, while givers may feel discomfort in receiving. This lack of balance produces negative energy inhibiting ability to receive what the Universe is waiting to give.

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Les Brown

Many people suffer from fear of receiving, and this fear limits their quality of life. And they unknowingly block their good. Their fear may run from mild discomfort to a sense of guilt, unworthiness, greed, all kinds of painful feelings. They sense a blockage inside, but have no idea where it's coming from. They're unaware that reasons behind a blockage are childhood messages hidden in their subconscious. These messages lead to believing that giving is good, but receiving is selfish or shameful. These false beliefs remain with us all of our life unless we learn the truth about giving and receiving.

Our good comes to us in different ways from small gifts to life changing situations. But when false beliefs remain in our subconscious and motivate our choices, we fail to receive much that could enrich our lives. We sometimes fail to receive gifts, because we think it's wrong to accept from others. Or we fail to accept an important job, because we believe we're not capable. Or we miss an ocean cruise believing, "Nothing turns out right for me." Those messages reduce our vibrational energy, and this affects our life.

As a child I was taught that asking for or receiving something is selfish. I felt undeserving, and spent much of my life with guilt in the pit of my stomach if expected to receive something. And much good eluded me because of my resistance to receiving. Later when my mother grew older and lived on social security, she taught me another lesson. Whenever she wanted to buy me even a small gift, I refused, feeling she couldn't afford it. Then one time she cried and said, "Don't you know when you refuse to accept my gift, you take away my pleasure in giving?" She must have learned something since my childhood years. and I learned that when one gives and another receives, both are blessed.

We are Divine enough to ask, and we are important enough to receive. Wayne Dyer

The Universe hears what we believe and answers in kind. And negative or false beliefs interfere with Universal Law. So if what we want is to become a reality, we must be open and receptive to receiving our good. There are ways to overcome inner blockages, but it takes some practice.

1. Begin by giving to yourself, even in small ways, and rejoice in your gifts to yourself. Learn to feel good about receiving.
2. Talk to your inner child, and teach him/her about the law of giving and receiving.
3. When appropriate, ask for and accept what you want, even if it feels uncomfortable.
4. Watch your thoughts and feelings when you're offered something but feel you 'should not' accept. Talk to your feelings and confront that resistance. Affirm your right to receive.
5. Work on forgiving and releasing any old negative beliefs, attitudes, people, and experiences to make room for the new.
6. Learn to tolerate discomfort until it stops being a problem. And given time, it will.

Using the law of giving and receiving promotes physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, and we and the world are blessed. Give to and receive from others, and open your mind and heart to receiving what the Universe has for you. Enjoy the peace you feel from both. You are worthy.

I wish you courage to say 'yes'.

Marilyn

How To Manage Your Vows To Enrich Your Life

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Mon, 15 Jan 2018 23:56:00 +0000

Make a vow deep within yourself to have the happiest life possible. R. Sauter

Do you sometimes feel your life is more a struggle than the journey you envisioned for yourself, and you're confused about the way some things in your life turn out? Or you have friends and a family, but you live with a deep, unexplained loneliness? Or has your life blossomed in joyful ways and you share your life with a wonderful partner? Either way, maybe the quality of your life is in vows you made while growing up.

We walk through each day as usual, but seldom aware of that subtle something inside that motivates our actions and determines outcomes--those vows we made in the past, either written, vocal, or just a thought. We make them at any age, but children are impressionable, and they label messages from their environment pleasant or hurtful. Then they create positive or negative vows that affect their adult personality, relationships, work, money, talents, etc.

Messages come in 3 ways: 1) Direct Contact. Someone says to the child, "You're stupid." So the child vows negatively, "I'm so stupid, I can't do anything." 2) Experience. The child stars in the school play. So he vows positively, "I have talent, and I belong." 3) Observation. The child observes parent fighting about money. So she vows negatively, "There's never enough, so I can't expect much." Messages are powerful, and they influence our lives.

Vows are promises to ourselves to avoid what we don't want or to create what we do want, to enrich our life in some way. Vows, intentions, promises...all provide a sense of purpose and direction. But they have consequences, and over time, positive or negative, they may not serve us as we intend. Vows to avoid painful siuations may end up depriving us in the long run. Or vows to get what we want may not be enough to sustain our good. When we make vows, possible consequences need careful consideration.

Avoidance: When we create a vow as protection from painful experiences, we may end up paying a price for it. When I was 6 years old, my father died, and no one was there to comfort me. I remember moving through my hurt feelings vowing that I would never need anyone again or bother anyone with my problems. I spent most of my life true to that vow, being independent, taking care of myself, and never allowing anyone close enough to hurt me. But I learned it's lonely being alone inside, and I finally realized all I'd missed because I clung to my vow. Now I know when vows are not working for us, we can release them and have that fulfilling journey.

Positive Creation: It takes more than creating a vow to sustain its energy. At age 47, I envisioned working in the mental health field. My family thought I was too old for such a lofty goal. But I was determined and vowed to do it. Then reality set in. School was necessary, but I had no money for school, and I'd have to depend on part time work to survive. Fear crept in and shook my vow with thoughts of failure. My vow lost its power, and my lofty dream became a source of pain. My dream could have ended there, but I dug deep inside and renewed my vow. And my dream finally became a wonderful reality. When you create a positive vow, don't let appearances stop you.

Beginning today and for the rest of my days, I vow to love myself unconditionally. I am empowered. Unknown

If you feel a vow may be affecting an area in your life in a negative way, examine your feelings and behavior patterns in that area. These are clues. Then ask your inner self to reveal what you need to know. Be patient and listen. When you discover a vow not enriching your life, expose it as untrue, and confront it with the truth of yourself and the situation. Remind yourself that you're intelligent, lovable, capable, and all those good qualities you were given when you were created. Release your vow with an affirmation, "I now release all fear and all vows that no longer serve me. I am free." Work on releasing, and know you deserve to be free and happy.

Be happy, dear one. You are worth more than you know.

Marilyn

Finding Your Answers In Nostalgia

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 07 Jan 2018 19:53:00 +0000

"Sometimes you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead." Yvonne Woon

As we think of the year ahead, we remember last year and what we want to bring with us and what we want to leave behind...and how many times we've made that same transition. Maybe we realize our minds and hearts are not time bound. All the years are connected, and nostalgia takes us back to years past, other times, people, and places. We may begin a new journey, but our past is part of us. And from time to time we cross the bridge to yesterday.

It's one thing to remember an experience, but another to relive your thoughts and feelings from that experience. The word 'nostalgia' explains this phenomenon. Merriam-Webster describes homesickness, a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to some past period or irrecoverable condition. Cambridge English Dictionary says a feeling of pleasure and sometimes sadness at the same time as you think about things that happened in the past. A bittersweet yearning for a past experience.

Looking back and learning will enable you to move forward. Eileen Brown

Many times I've heard it said, "Don't look back. If you look back, you can't move forward. Leave it all back there, and move on." That attitude may be feasible in some situations. But I don't believe it's generally workable, because many of your decisions today are based on something you learned in your past. Every day is preparation for the next one.

Nostalgia can serve a purpose in your life with opportunities to reach forgotten parts of you, maybe parts you need to feel again. In the nostalgic state, you can re-experience happiness from other times, or share again with loved ones, or re-visit childhood laughter that releases current burdens and stress. Or your nostalgic experiences might furnish a second chance to correct past mistakes when you fell short of intentions, or you failed to say kind words someone needed to hear, or you haven't forgiven someone...or yourself. Or you might learn more about dealing with bittersweet experiences when they fill your heart with sadness.

These are not just memories. You feel every second of nostalgic experiences. Pain lies in wanting to go back, see people and places again, be in what you may feel was a better place. You smile and yearn to relive the happy times. You cry and long to hug those who are gone. You may think of ways to correct your mistakes. And you realize that yesterday is as much a part of your life as is tomorrow. It all belongs on your journey.

As I've grown older, I find I miss the old times more. I remember an Alaskan cruise with dear friends, a cross-country trip with my best buddy who is gone now, dancing to exhaustion, jumping into a pool from the high diving board with all my clothes on, and holding my sides with laughter at a friend's silly joke. I also remember seeing my mother right after she died, and saying words to her I wished I'd said sooner. And other sad times that bring tears. But even happy ones can be bittersweet, because they're gone. But re-visit is what our minds do.

"When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood." Sam Ewing

Sometimes what we think we're missing is not really what we're missing. For instance, your longing for your childhood home may create quite a surprise. You hear it's empty now, so you return and tour the house. But as you move around inside, what captures your attention is not the house at all, but the childhood you're missing. This actually happened to me, and when I found my old house, my heart ached remembering and missing that child and the family who shared the home.

Yes, your past is part of your present and your future. Where you've been helps you decide where you want to go. And periods of nostalgia bring it all together. The happy, the sad, and the lessons teach us along the way. And we're better for it.

I wish you memories you'll want to look back on.

Marilyn

Turn Your 'Shoulds' To 'Wants' For The New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Mon, 01 Jan 2018 00:34:00 +0000

You're entering a new year. How do you approach a gift like this? You can say, "Oh, another year of the same old stuff." Or you can get caught up in the usual 'shoulds' with lists of resolutions you think you 'should' do. Or you can examine what's going on in your life and what you may 'want' to change or make better. And each one offers a different experience in the coming year.

The first one will probably give you the same challenges you faced last year. The second one implies the possibility of repercussions if you don't do what you 'should' do, so you better do what you think you 'should' do. And the third one sets you free to explore, to envision, and to be and do whatever you 'want' while creating wonderment in your life. The third one requires planning, but the results can be rewarding.

With the new year upon us, now is the time to look at your life and decide what you want to do with it. You have the power to create new blessings in your life and to expand upon what you already have. As you enter this new year, bring the positive with you, the love, the peace, the good times, everything that made you happy last year. And cling to these happy memories with anticipation to bring more good into your life. This year can offer opportunities for you to grow into more of what your heart desires and find more happiness along the way.

"There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on." Zayn Malik

Everything that happens in your life fills a space inside, and some of your painful experiences are part of what you're carrying. When we experience challenges, we get through the best we can. But sometimes we fail to release heartaches, regrets, losses, etc. And we push the painful stuff down out of sight. But this negative energy needs to be dealt with, cleansed, and released from its hiding place, so you don't carry too much of it with you into your new year. This process takes time and patience, but with your determination to let it go and live a better life, most of it will gradually disappear.

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next years words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. T.S.Eliot

Whenever you move in a new direction, you need to know where you want to go and how to get there. So you'll need a definite plan to prevent your life from getting lost in your everyday busyness. You'll still experience detours along your way. But that's okay. You'll be on the right track with good energy. And maybe now you're ready to create a new beginning with a plan to guide you on your new journey.

Now is the time to clarify what you're dealing with and what you'll need and want in your plan. You'll need to consider: 1) What specific issues in your outer and inner world you want to address. 2) A strategy of action to achieve what you want to do with each one. 3) What you want to accomplish overall in the coming year. Then make a list of each of these 3 sections, and begin following your plan. Some people hate to make lists, but lists help facilitate planning, they help you avoid feeling overwhelmed with a cluttered mind, and they promote clarity of direction.

This may seem overwhelming, but time spent in one day can prepare for a successful beginning and make each day more joyous in the coming year. As needed, you can check your 'what and how' lists, and feel confident you won't be at the mercy of troublesome situations that arise in your life. You'll feel free from most 'shoulds' that sap your creativity, and you can do what you 'want' to enrich your life.

I truly wish you a Happy New Year

Marilyn

What Will You Give When The Holiday Season Ends?

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 23:23:00 +0000

Some of us are coming to the end of a holiday season, and will soon be busy picking up, putting away, cleaning, etc. If gifts were part of your holiday, you're looking again at the gifts remembering your squeals of delight with each one. But now you look around and know it's over. So you begin waiting for next year when you will again experience the joy of the season. But you don't have to wait for next year.

Those pretty wrapped gifts are also given on birthdays, anniversaries, any day to celebrate. And they are indeed joyful. I remember when I was a child I played outside until streetlights came on, and every evening a man caught the bus on my corner to play in a band downtown. Well, on my birthday, he brought me a box of beautiful hair ribbons wrapped in a pretty box. I never knew his name, but I remember the joy in his face as I opened my gift. And this memory is still dear to me. But gifts like this are not all we have to give.

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

What about the gifts that are created within you and can be expressed by you? They're not wrapped in pretty paper, but they're just as beautiful. And you have the power to give those every day of the year. You may not realize you have inner gifts, but you do. They're something you feel inside, and they're unique to you. There's no one like you, and what you have to give is like no other. Your gifts are a part of who and what you are. And they lay inside waiting to be expressed...wanting to be expressed. Perhaps you already use them, unaware of their expression. Many are subtle and go unnoticed as gifts, but they're felt in your life and in the lives of those they touch.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

There are all kinds of gifts with qualities from small everyday gestures to some we may term spectacular. Some people are fixers, good listeners, or leaders, and some are gifted with empathy and compassion. I had a neighbor who repaired children's bicycles so they could ride again. Another woman shared her homemade cookies. And I know a woman who is wheelchair bound with MS, and she waves and smiles at everyone, even strangers, changing gloomy faces to happy ones. And she doesn't see it as a gift. It's just what she does.

I told you about a friend who didn't have money to buy a gift for my birthday, so she cleaned my house for me. And when I worked as a Psychotherapist, one of my patients brouht me a birdhouse his wife made for me, and another patient gave me a lily plant he grew in his yard. What beautiful memories of inner gifts in expression. These gifts remind me that the sharing of heartfelt love is a blessing, and the gift is a symbol of this feeling.

What's your gift? What gives you a sense of satisfaction and joy in the doing? And what gives your life meaning? It may be creating a physical object, writing, music, cooking, sewing, building something. Or it may simply be creating situations that bring happiness to yourself and others. This in itself is a gift. Could you comfort someone who's feeling lonely? Could you offer compassion and guidance to someone who's feeling lost? Could you encourage and support someone who wants to leave a destructive lifestyle, but afraid to reach out alone to change?

If you're not aware of your gift, start noticing what you enjoy and do well that might bring pleasure to others. Ask your inner Voice to show you what you've been given and guide you in using it. When you share your gift, it brings joy to someone else, and you feel the joy too. And remember, when you give someone something with your heart, you're giving them a part of yourself. So, really...dear one, you are a precious gift.

I wish you many blessings with your gift.

Marilyn

Pay Attention This Holiday Season. You're Making Memories.

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 17 Dec 2017 02:30:00 +0000

We humans are magnificent creations. We have what we need to thrive and survive and display outstanding talents and skills. And one of the most wonderful and complex parts of us is our brain. Everything we ever heard or experienced is held in our brain. It's all there, most of it tucked away in secret forever. But we have our memories. And some of our past is never lost.

A memory is a photograph taken by the heart to make a special moment last forever. Unknown

Memories come to us in several ways. You may want to re-capture something from the past, so you think of it, and it becomes real again. Other times you encounter things like a song, a special memento, or a similar experience that brings up a memory. And you remember what brought you joy and what brought you pain. And you relive those times.

When something comes to you from the past, you remember. You remember those heartfelt happy times, and you cling to the experience when you see it, you feel it, you taste it and breathe in the sweet scent. You remember. And for a moment, you're lost in time. You reach out. You want it back. But you feel the bittersweet quality of memory, and you have to let it go...maybe with a smile...maybe not. And memories are a part of life. So you live with them, and treasure each one.

Sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Avena

But all memories are not the happy ones. Sometimes they awaken a pain in your heart you thought was gone, never to return and torture you. Maybe you remember loss of a loved one, an opportunity you missed, a betrayal by a friend, words that cut deep to your soul, experiences you don't want to ever see or feel again. But you remember and you relive the whole episodes with the same tips and turns, the confusion, the unbelief, the heartfelt pain. You cringe and turn away. And the more you resist the memory, the stronger it gets. But memories are a part of life.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Lewis B. Smedes

Many people remember situations involving themselves and others that need forgiving. When this is accomplished, the memory remains, but the suffering is healed and gone. Years ago when I was working, every payday I put money away for my retirement fund. Then a couple years into retirement, I lost my money due to neglect by the person handling it. A bitter memory. Everyone makes mistakes, but if I'd paid off my house instead, things would have been different. And I might have more pleasant memories now. But peace comes with forgiveness.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. Dr. Seuss

There's a saying, "Life is for making memories." But as we move through life with one experience after another, we don't actively create situations that might later become pleasant memories. We don't even think about or fully realize what our experiences will look and feel like in a memory. So why not create happy situations today to bring happiness again tomorrow in the remembering. And what a better time to create good memories than in a holiday season.

This is a time of year when people are rushing to get things done, with little attention on what they'll remember in the future. So pay attention to happiness that simply happens, and make some of it yourself. Enjoy the holiday season with family and friends, and maybe people you don't even know. Exchange lots of hugs, smile at strangers, play with children, sing out loud, skip up an aisle in the grocery store, call people by their names, share with your place of worship and charities. Be creative and do what makes you and others happy. This is a time to celebrate life and make memories you will cherish forever.

I wish you fun making your happy memories.

Marilyn

How To Relieve Stress And Find Your Holiday Miracles

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 10 Dec 2017 22:44:00 +0000

It's December, and holiday planning is everywhere. More cars are on the road with fewer places to park, stores are picking up traffic, you see more ads on TV, holiday trimmings are going up, and everyone's looking for just the right gift. In other words, everything's progressing into the usual chaotic rush that strikes this time every year. It can be a time of constant stress OR it can be a time of wonderment and miracles...if you make it so. And isn't it wonderful? Or is it?

Many people are so consumed with doing, they miss the fun of being. They try to move through each day on auto pilot without much thought to where they're going. It's easy to forget things, then have to back track to remedy the forgetting. And pleasant experiences can turn into frustation and stress. If you're someone who celebrates a holiday in December, you know what it's like scrambling to get through it with a sane mind and a strong body still intact. Maybe you feel the reward is worth the stress. But with too much stress, it's like walking through a beautiful garden and forgetting to smell the flowers.

In the midst of the clamor, this time of year can also tug at your heart strings with sweet memories of times past when you held a certain loved one, when family was intact, when life was slower and felt more stable, when so much was 'just different'. You feel the stress of knowing you can't go back and recapture what you had yesterday. And painful feelings prevent your full embrace of the season. But your memories and your love for people and things from the past will always be a part of you. And you don't have to give them up. You can keep them close in your heart, while you focus on expressing love in the present.

As you move through your busy days, be vigilant and watch for opportunities to replace stress with love and joy in each experience. Recently I was in a check-out line in a grocery store, and I spied a small boy around 4 or 5 years old leaning against his mother also in line. I waved to him, and he waved back. And for a while we had fun giggling and connecting with back and forth gestures. Words were not necessary. Then suddenly he left his mother's side, darted over to me, threw both arms around me, and held on tight with his little head nestled against me. I was absolutely awe-struck, and I knelt down and gave him a hug. He finally left with both parents. And I'll always cherish the joy that dear little boy brought to me.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. Hamilton Wright Mabie

Send your love over time and space to those you want to hug. They will receive the blessings that your love carries with it. And put your mind and heart in your gifts. No money for gifts? Love is the greatest gift you can give. I remember when a friend had no money to buy me a birthday present, so she cleaned my house. I'll never forget that gift or the precious angel who gave it.

Holiday seasons are rich with miracles if you know where to look. First hug the miracle that is yourself. Then reach out to others with your love. And watch and listen so miracles won't go unnoticed. Smile at strangers, and play with children. If you attend worship services, exchange hugs with others who need hugs as much as you do. And call people by their name. We like being validated. Keep your mind and heart open and receptive allowing your love to flow into this season. And you'll find your holiday miracles. Then you'll reach the finish line with a big grin, because you can finally sit back, put your feet up, and say, "Ahh. Yes, it is wonderful."

I wish you a holiday filled with peace and love.

Marilyn

How To Create Peace Between You

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Mon, 04 Dec 2017 01:30:00 +0000

Is there someone in your life who gets on your nerves and annoys you to the point of frustration? Maybe your boss, co-worker, neighbor, friend, life partner? Most people know someone like this. If you do, then you know that uncomfortable feeling that bubbles beneath the surface and drives you up a wall.

Years ago I worked in a pharmacy with a verbally abusive boss. Then one day I exploded, and we had a yelling fight across the store. I thought for sure I'd be fired. But when I carried my loud voice behind his counter, he was doubled up with laughter. I yelled, "What the hell are you laughing at?" With a wide grin, he answered, "I wondered how long it would take you to stand up for yourself. Bout time." After that he treated me with respect, and we ended up with a good relationship. However, I wouldn't recommend my behavior to anyone. Don't yell at your boss.

People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. Unknown

Over time, I've learned better ways to improve my own response to people who push my buttons. There's room for change on both sides. First look at your own responses, and honestly question any hangups that may precipitate or contribute to the other person's behavior. Am I being unreasonable? Do I expect too much? Do I respond from my own insecurity? Is there something in me that needs to change? Look for answers, and make necessary changes if you need to. If you feel comfortable talking to the other person, do it. If not, there are other ways to bring about change.

One time I worked with a team of people, and our Supervisor's answers to the others were usually 'yes', but always 'no' to me, sometimes with a somewhat hostile attitude. I was confused and made every effort to please. But no change. Then I went to my Minister for help, and she recommended the following exercise. I used it each day, and in about a month, I saw changes with my Supervisor. Eventually, we became friends, and I valued her friendship.

Recommended Exercise: Your goal is to change the negative energy between you to positive energy, thus changing the behaviors.
1. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine looking at the other person.
2. Then say, "I love you, I bless you, I release you to your highest good."
3. Now take another deep breath, and let go. Let go. Let go.

When you say these words, you're sending the other person a love your neighbor type of love--the kind that's wired in us to love others. At first, you may not feel these words, so saying them may be difficult. But you're affirming blessings in their life, and you're releasing them, and ultimately yourself, from negative energy between you. So say the words anyway. In most cases, this exercise does work if you stay with it. And you might just find the peace you long for between you.

You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions. Unknown

Not everyone is going to cooperate and make the change you want in your relationship. And it may be someone you can't or don't want to release from your life. But you don't have to remain on the receiving end of their inappropriate behavior. Set boundaries with a plan to avoid emotional disturbance from a difficult person.

Boundary Examples: "I will be caring and considerate of your feelings; I will use yes or no when needed, and mean it; I will listen when you're talking to me, but will walk away if your words or manner are hurtful; etc, etc. And I will grant you the same courtesies." Create and present the plan appropriate to the person involved, such as your boss at work, your life partner, whoever, etc.

A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love. Marianne Williamson

Some people have a fear of losing control and will resist change. So if someone refuses your miracle, then honor it yourself as much as possible. You're a special person with a right to peace and love in your life. Go for it, and be happy.

I wish you peace created between you.

Marilyn

Release Clutter And Nourish Your Soul. Part 2 Inner Clutter

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sun, 26 Nov 2017 04:07:00 +0000

Clutter in our outer world is tangible things with visual color and texture you can touch. But the inside stuff rolls around in your head and heart, and you carry it with you everyday. You wake in the morning, and it beckons your attention. And if you're an inside clutterer, you answer its call.

If it can be solved, there's no need to worry, and if it can't be solved worry is of no use. Dalai Lama

Like outer clutter, inner clutter occurs in different amounts and intensity. At best, you might experience occasional worry like rushing to catch a bus when you oversleep, or forget to cancel an appointment, etc. For those you might fret and say a few choice words, but then deal with it and not let it become an unecessary burden. Then more intense is worry over one main issue you just can't release like a lost relationship or a mistake you can't go back and correct. And your strong feelings hold it to you. You see no resolution, and you can't stop obsessing over it everyday.

The most troublesome situation is when multiple issues build up inside with focus on many painful feelings that won't stop. And they become a source of daily rumination without resolution. Or you retain feelings from the past like sorrow, regret, anger, etc. And a trigger like a song or a sudden memory can create an ongoing reaction. You can even get into, "What if this happens, or what if that happens," before anything worrisome happens. Inner clutter fills your thoughts, and you feel there's no way out.

Outer clutter in our surroundings influences the way we feel. But it doesn't require constant attention, and daily activities furnish a respite. Inner clutter is a different phenomenon. Your thoughts are part of you. And for a person who's caught up in a daily battle with obsessive thinking, the relentless invasion of worrisome thoughts can reach down to the soul and leave them anxious, depressed, and exhausted. Just living day to day becomes a challenge.

Non resistance is the greatest power in the Universe. Eckhart Tolle

When mental clutter piles up, you try to make it stop. But it won't budge. You try pushing it out of your mind, but it gets stronger. And you push harder. So it goes, over and over. Well, there's a saying, "Resistance breeds persistence." And it does. So stop resisting. Once you let it be, you can get to ways that will release it and bring you peace. And there are ways to do that.

First, give yourself permission to release the clutter. Then voice your intention to stop obsessing, and verbalize a vow to break loose. Be firm.

Prepare with self-talk, and speak to your thoughts with love as often as needed. Repeat, "I've been approaching problems with worry, and that doesn't work. I'm smart enough to handle whatever needs my attention, and let the rest go. And thoughts, I don't need you now. I'm taking charge, and we're going to be happy."

If it doesn't nourish your soul, get rid of it. Unknown

Consider the difference between worry and concern. Worry is clutter, and doesn't solve problems. Concern implies relevance and importance, and is a valid place to begin releasing the clutter. So list everything you're worrying about, and rate each item by how relevant and important it is and how much you 'need' to be concerned about it...0 being not at all, and 10 being a lot. Then choose items you can solve without worry.

A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love. Marianne Williamson

Imagine a large balloon, and drop items you're releasing into the balloon. Seal the top, and wave goodbye with forgiveness and love as you watch it float upward and disappear into the sky. Feel your shoulders lighten and your mind clear. Now you have nourished your soul.

It may take additional efforts to finally stop cluttering your mind. But continue the clearing procedure as needed, and your mind will eventually develop a 'stop button'. And you can truly be free. A long time ago, ongoing efforts worked for me, and I'm grateful.

I wish you a peaceful mind and heart.

Marilyn

Release Clutter And Nourish Your Soul Part 1 Environmental Clutter

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 18 Nov 2017 01:19:00 +0000

Let today be the day you learn the grace of letting go and the power of moving on. Steve Maraboli

Some people are never concerned with getting empty boxes to pack up clutter for the trash collectors. God bless 'em. But others of us live our lives overrun with all kinds of clutter. It's not something we do deliberately. We just don't put things where they belong in the first place, and they pile up. We have good intentions, but we take stuff for granted and pretend it's not there.

Clutter is stuck energy. The word "Clutter" derives from the Middle English word "clotter" which means to coagulate--and that's about as stuck as you can get. Karen Kingston.

Everything is energy, and energy attracts like energy. So if your life is full of clutter, more clutter is what you'll attract. And it creeps up gradually when you're not looking. Over time, it meshes together like part of the decor. And it becomes part of your everyday life. You may try to change your focus away from it. But the clutter is still there.

People clutter for different reasons. Some allow 'memories' to pile up with old pictures, souvenirs, reminders of happy times, etc. Others accumulate stuff and plan to 'get to it later' like unread mail and greeting cards, receipts that need filing, etc. Others think they might 'need something later' like ads for things on sale, old clothes they'll never wear, the hat for that outfit they never bought. Then there's the messy person who just lets everything pile up.

Our home environment is a reflection of who we think we are, and clutter becomes a part of that reflection. We identify with it. So the clutter influences the way we feel and takes a toll on our health. It can invite dust, or molds, and toxins that affect us physically, draining our energy and our ability to fight illnesses. Looking at clutter everyday can also encourage mental and emotional stress that disturbs our sense of well being with feelings like incompetence, anxiety, and depression. And our home may no longer support a positive self-image or what we need to be healthy and happy.

If you're a chronic clutterer, your brain is trained for it. But you can re-train your brain and create a new way to live. Clutter has some meaning for each person, and it's important to understand why you clutter. So ask yourself, "Why do I allow clutter in my home? And what reward do I get from it?" You might answer, "I allow it to pile up because I can get to it later, or I keep it because I might need it sometime." And my reward is "I don't have to do it now, or I'll have it if I need it." Now make a decision to release your need to clutter, and make an appointment with yourself to begin clutter maintenance.

It's all about finding the calm in the chaos. Donna Karan

Get a box for trash and a bag for give-a-ways, and make notes to yourself to stay with a schedule to the end. Clean one area at a time like one drawer, one closet, one pile of papers, etc. Keep only what's meaningful like pictures, letters, mementos, etc, and what's necessary like medical reports, unpaid bills, etc. But let all the rest go. And with each job you finish, see yourself as strong and capable. It may take more than one attempt to change for good. So keep reminders in those areas you've cleaned, and maybe you won't clutter again. :-)

When you're done, stand back and look around. Smile at what you've accomplished, and you'll feel a new energy in your home. And now that you've cleared the clutter on the outside, take a moment to go within and tell yourself you'll clear the inside clutter too.

Stay tuned for Part 2 next week to release your inside clutter and find peace.

I wish you happy days in your clutter free home. And maybe your car too?

Marilyn

Better Late Than Never

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 11 Nov 2017 22:39:00 +0000

Hello, Dear Readers,

Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but due to a bout with illness, I just couldn't make it. And this being Veteran's Day, I especially wanted to remember our veterans with an article. Didn't make that either. But I do want to express my heartfelt gratitude to all the men and women who served our country with their love and dedication. And if you know a veteran, let him/her know you care. Thank you.

Now since I couldn't get an article ready, I'm offering a little poem on a different subject that I wrote a long time ago.

Laugh A Little. It's Good For You.

Although I hurt a lot inside,
I sometimes joke and find a laugh.
It comes from yet another place
Along my weary path.

It usually comes up suddenly,
And takes its rightful place.
It stays around a little while
To fill the empty space.

Laughter drives away the tears,
And calms the hurt below.
It frees my soul to feel alive
Where I think angels go.

God knew I'd need this useful tool
To lift me high above the dark,
So I can see the truth of life,
And find that vital spark.

Thank you, Lord, for quips and giggles,
For making light of strife and pain,
For finding fun in spite of trial
To find my joyful way again.

I wish you a beautiful laugh whenever you need one.

Marilyn

Have You Discovered Your Life Purpose? And Are You Living It Now?

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 21 Oct 2017 01:27:00 +0000

Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction. John F. Kennedy

Most of us get a job, work hard, pay bills, solve problems, have some fun with family and friends, participate in spiritual activities, and keep our lives moving. But if you're one of those, do you ever get a feeling maybe there's something more, something you're missing in your life? That feeling is a part of you inside that reaches out to your conscious awareness with a message you might want or need to know. There's more to you than what you've seen so far.

Your life has purpose. Your story is important. Your dreams count. Your voice matters. You were born to make an impact. Unknown

Each of us is born with a special purpose for our life, and something inside longs to express who we are and our reason for being here. But we seldom think consciously about such things. We know that life is a mixture of positive and negative experiences, and we prefer the positive. But how often do we actually think about or own role in helping to create a happier world? In thousands of ways our world needs help, but do you ever contemplate ways in which you might express something beneficial to others in your own special way? Hmm... What would you express? Think about it.

The things that excite you are not random. They are connected to your purpose in life. Follow them. Unknown

We're all endowed with talents, or gifts, things we enjoy and do well that are connected to our life purpose. And we bring these talents with us into our life to fulfill our purpose. But we don't always recognize them as blessings that give our life meaning. And sometimes we take our talents for granted and minimize their value with an attitude that says, "Oh, that's nothing. Anybody can do that." But no two people can do anything exactly alike, because what each person does is very special and cannot be duplicated.

Some of us express our talents in seemingly small, insignificant ways...smiles and hugs help heal a broken heart, being a good listener validates others, repairing children's bikes brings them pleasure, etc. With others, talents can be reflected in one's type of work...teachers, physical therapists, nurses, etc. Millions of talents, all equal in importance, all blessing someone in some way. How vital each person is in our world. And most don't realize that the good they do is an expression of their life purpose.

The meaning of your life is to find your gift. The purpose of your life is to give it away. Pablo Picasso

We discover our talents in different ways at different times in our life. And sometimes they're even discovered through a painful experience. I once had a patient who suffered with a back injury and felt his life was useless. He knew nothing of talents and life purpose. But he loved nature, and one day he discovered he could lay on the ground propped up on one side and grow a garden with one hand. Then his mood changed to happiness as he fulfilled his life purpose making others happy supplying beautiful flowers to hospitals and anyone who wanted a bouquet...including me.

If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose. Bishop T. D. Jakes

You may not know your purpose in life, and when you ask yourself why you're here, you may have no answers. But if you know your talent and bring it to its rightful importance, you'll see the connection. Then use it and claim your own happiness fulfilling your purpose. If you don't know your talent, start noticing something you really enjoy doing, and you do it well. It could be your work, a hobby, a pastime, etc. Listen to the voice inside that says, "There. That's it. That's why you're here." And move through your life fulfilling your purpose with a happy heart.

I wish you happiness as you discover your self.

Marilyn

The Sea Of Life. Are You The Ocean?

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Fri, 13 Oct 2017 16:48:00 +0000

Dear Readers, I live near the ocean, and sometimes when I look at that vast body of water, I think of the multitude of water droplets it takes to create the oceans, and I think of all the people it takes to create our world. We are the world. But it seems we've lost our sense of who we are in the great sea of humankind. I remember when we created our world together, each a part of that creation. But today we live with an 'us and them' mentality, and we deny our belonging to each other. I feel sad. Today I want to share an article I posted a few years ago on this subject.

The Sea Of Life

Yesterday I spent the day at a hospital with a friend who had surgery. I've been in many hospitals in the past, but this experience made what I already knew more real to me. Each of us is unique, traveling our own individual journey through life, but at the same time part of the great whole that makes us the human race. It's kind of like each unique drop of water being part of the whole body we call the ocean. And the ocean is not the ocean without each drop.

Individually, we are one drop. But together we are an ocean. Rhunosuke Satoro

While my friend was in surgery, I wandered up and down the halls. I've always been a people-watcher, but yesterday I was more keenly aware of everyone and everything I came across. I saw people in wheelchairs or walking with canes while others walked straight and tall. I saw a nurse consoling a woman who was crying, and I noticed a beautiful little boy grinning at me. I saw people in pain and heard their moans, while medical personel saw to their needs. Contrasts everywhere. Yet, in their humanness, they were all a part of each other.

Later I went outside of the building and found a concrete ledge where I sat down. I took off my shoes and rested my bare feet on mother earth, while little ants scampered around as if they knew where they were going. The sun was warm, but there was a cool breeze under the big oak tree where I sat watching a black crow scrounging for his lunch in the dirt near by. Once in a while someone sat next to me. Some were happy. Some were not. But each had a story to tell--a unique story, yet part of all the stories that portray who we are.

Life is like the ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough and rigid, but in the end, it is always beautiful. Unknown

As the day moved on, the hospital became a microcosm of the bigger world, and I became more increasingly aware of life and our connection with each other. We each know sadness and joy, pain and bliss, feast and famine, love and hate, lack and plenty, illness and health--everything in the human experience. And we're never alone in any of it. While we're going through something, another person somewhere else is going through the same thing in their own unique way. How sad we don't claim the ocean in which we swim. It's really quite a beautiful ocean in spite of the differences we believe separate us.

I'm grateful for this hospital experience. It reminded me we're much more than what we see in the mirror. In essence, Mother Teresa says, "We know that what we are doing is only a drop in the ocean. But if the drop were not there, the ocean would be missing something." You serve an important part in the sea of life, and your unique presence helps maintain the sea in which you live. Love yourself, and pour your love out to others. And claim the beautiful ocean in which you swim. It is your home.

I wish you much happiness on your journey.

Marilyn

Are You Living Images And Roles You Were Given As A Child? Where Is Your True Self? Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Marilyn) — Sat, 07 Oct 2017 17:21:00 +0000

Your essence is within you. You are already enough. Debbie Spellman

For the most part, each day we automatically live our life without thinking past our usual activities. But we're complex beings, and our role, image, and personality are so ingrained from childhood, we don't usually question our identity. Personality becomes our 'I am' and, for many, that satisfies a need to know. But it doesn't even touch the great dimensions of all that you are. Self-knowledge is one of our greatest tools to discover and uncover our true self, and use this self for good. The more you know about yourself, the better you're able to choose what to keep and what to release to promote what you want your life to be.

We express from personality and from our true self, and the two are quite different. Personality is changeable, and can have different opinions about itself. One day you're a very bright person, and the next day you're pretty stupid. Or decisions you make via personality can backfire and reveal parts of you that you'd rather not have. But there's nothing wrong with expressing from personality. You can learn a lot about yourself from this source of expression.

People apply different meanings to the true self, such as authentic, true nature, deeper or higher self, the core of your being, soul, etc. But it is considered the real you, as you were created. And the essence of you cannot be something different. You are you, and you will always be you.

Somewhere tucked away inside each of us is a memory of the self that existed during childhood before we fully assumed a role, an image, a personality. And part of us longs to recapture that time of innocence when we knew our true self well. With purposeful steps toward change, we can dim some of personality's hold on us, and know more of our true self.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. E. E. Cummings

Intention is one of our most powerful tools for change. And when it stems from the good in your heart, it will bring good into your life. Use intention with desire, willingness, commitment, and faith to change. Reinforce these qualities each day, and with your deep feelings to move forward, your courage will be there. No need to hurry. Change comes gradually over time.

Once you establish your decision for change, you need to begin listening. How often do you listen to how your personality thinks and notice what it does? What do you feel is positive and negative about it? What does it tell you about yourself, and do you agree with it? We're taught to believe that personality is who we are. But do you ever sense that you're more than this belief? Pay attention, and learn to recognize this part of you.

Intuition is the voice of the soul. The more you listen, the more you know your true self. James Van Braagh

Clarify your meaning of true self, who and what you are within, and listen to it speak to you. Our true self speaks to us often, but with our busy minds, we miss a lot of its messages. It's uplifting, and will always guide us with love and wisdom. But we have to hear it. Seek ways to communicate with and express your true self. Play like a child, show kindness to others, claim your own worth.

The goal of this change is not to erase personality, but to release the traits you don't want, and allow it to compliment your true self, so the two can work together for your good. As days pass and you increase your knowledge and understanding, you'll learn to tell if something is coming from personality or your true self. And you will gradually learn to decrease more of personality and increase more of your true self.

This is a vast subject, and mounds of material have been written in detail about who you are, and how to discover and nurture more of you. You're on a journey of self-discovery. Read, research, express gratitude, and be your beautiful self.

I wish you joy as you blossom into more of who you really are.

Marilyn