Until My Cup Runneth Over ...

Checking in...my this post is longer than I expected.

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:32:00 +0000

I just wanted to take a few minutes and check in - reflect on the last year. I had weight loss surgery on October 3, 2011, and prior to having surgery, I had initially started this blog to help with that process.
Very soon after surgery was done, I lost the umph I had for talking about it. I was so excited to live life that this blog definitely took a backseat. A whole lot has changed in my life over the year and I truly have thanked God every day for the second chance He gave me. I've lost 153 pounds since my surgery date and I have about 120 to go to reach my original goal of 150.. In September, the doctor told me I could expect to lose another 100 in 2013, which puts me at 190, 35 pounds less than the doctor had estimated in my 2 year window.

When you're over 400 pounds life is hard. At some point, you just give up and wish you die. As harsh as that reads, I felt that way most often. As I sit here and reflect back on getting to that number that starts with a 3, it all seems kind of blurry. At some point, my mind shifted and I learned that the number on the scale definitely doesn't define me and somewhere someone put a dose of self esteem in my mind, body and soul. I went back to the girly girl that wouldn't dream of leaving for school without her make up on, her hair done, and jewelry on. I see a smile when I look in mirrors and best of all, I stare at my reflection in store windows! At first, I didn't recognize myself and now I just smile because I did it. I've been doing this behavior since the scale read about 370 and I definitely know that once the scale started with a 2 that I resolved that if I never lost another pound, it didn't matter. I was happy.

That doesn't mean I don't watch what I eat and do what I'm supposed to do - it means that I now focus on what makes me happy. I have had a really happy year. I've rode amusement rides with my kids, flew in my first airplane and walked around Quincy Market in Boston with a dear friend. I go shopping more than I ever have in the last 15 years. I can go to the grocery store, buy groceries, make several stops at other stores or do errands in between and when I bring them home, I'm still ready to go. I climb stairs at work that used to make me cringe if the elevator was out and I deliberately walk our parking lot to get some exercise in when I'm waiting for hubby to pick me up or I just need to get out and enjoy the beautiful day.

When I get mad or upset at something, I don't turn to food anymore. I go out and walk around the block or I've gotten really good at cleaning my bathroom from top to bottom. A chore that used to drain my energy...

If I could give any of you a gift, it would be the gift to feel normal and not someone who sticks out in a crowd. I would pump your body, mind and soul full of self esteem and put a cork in that you could never take out. That feeling is remarkable. That feeling is freedom. That feeling is happiness.

One more thing, uh oh, here comes my soap box. Weight loss surgery is not the fix all to your problems, it is not the easy way out, it's not the magic pill. Please look at it this way. - If you were at a restaurant, say a buffet and you slipped on some spilled food on the floor and you severely broke your leg, you'd expect and society would expect you to have it fixed. See a doctor, have it casted, have it pinned whatever it took to make that leg whole again and have a productive life. Right? Well the same thing goes for surgery. If you were at a restaurant, on a diet, and just couldn't quit eating because you never felt full, because you're stomach had streched from the years of abuse, you should be allowed and society should allow you to have it fixed. See a doctor, have it adjusted, partially removed, re-routed, whatever so that you can live a productive life. People ask for 2nd chances all the time. Don't be a hater. Embrace them and applaud their courage. Most of our weight problems are caused from some unbalance in our lives. It takes courage to have the one thing taken from you that you relied on your whole life to get you through... *stepping down from soap box.

Happy Holidays to all of you - find what makes you happy and then do it. After that, it will all fall into place. I promise.

The Seven Bariatric Rules for Life

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 14:27:00 +0000

1. 1200 Calories/Day
2. Never drink 10 minutes before eating and wait 30 minutes after eating. No drinking in the 70 minute window.
3. Always eat protein first, then fruit/veggies then if you have room pasta or potato.
4. 64 oz water or water based fluid/day
5. 60 grams of protein/day
6. Never usa a straw or drink soda the rest of your life (Killing the carbonation and letting it sit out for a week will not eliminate all carbonation.) don't do it!
7. Exercise regularly.

Live by them - Succeed by them!

6 month Dr Check in.

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 22:47:00 +0000

Today, I reached a new weight of 322.2 pounds. 109 pounds from my highest weight. My life has changed so much in this journey. I am so loving life. I've abandoned my blog because it requires me to sit and type and I'd rather be doing other things. I just booked a 3 night stay in Chicago for a conference and I'm taking my family. I'll walk from our hotel to where the conference is so that my kids can enjoy the pool at our hotel and I'll be walking. Me. Someone who at one time not long ago couldn't fathom taking a trip to the grocery store or dreaded a long walk from the car to the house. I'd get pissed at my husband for backing the car in the driveway because I'd have to take 20 extra steps. I've went from tight 5x tops to almost getting into 2x. Some pants I wear our 28w. 26W are snug but I'm just a few milestones away. I love who I see in the mirror. People say I'm glowing and I can feel the glow radiate from my face and smile. People weren't kidding. I really do have a pretty face. :)
I can't remember a weekend that I haven't went shopping at least 1 day. We go out during the week now after work. We're doing quality family fun things that I just let life pass us by rather than join in.
I can buy rings at the store that fit my ring finger!! I'm wearing sandals. I do my hair and make up every day and people still stop me and ask what's different about me. Sometimes I just smile, other times, I tell them part of my story. All those moments are magical for me. The best moments are the ones that acknowledge the weight loss, tell me how proud they are of me and keep me keeping on. My favorite moments are the women or men that build their courage to ask me about WLS because they are thinking about it themselves. I take the time to tell them the whole story. The bitter truth. Where I was, Where I am and Where I am going. I encourage them to get healthy and I counter all their excuses with you have to fix you before you can fix this or that. The things you have to do before you go under the knife won't matter and won't be their best if you aren't your best.
I was in a bad way from November - January. My job had me completely stressed out, I wasn't losing what I thought I should be and I knew my real issue was how much I hated my job. I knew the first week after returning to work after surgery, I had to have a change. Some things have happened and through prayer, I've been blessed with a new job. I'm at a point in my life where everything seems balanced. I've been blessed with a new boss who is the shining example of a servant leader. One that encourages you to take care of you, your family and then your job. He encourages wellness - and the discussion we had after I revealed to him my journey is one that will never be forgotten. God has blessed me with so many angels. I didn't fall off the bariatric wagon nor have I left the reservation. I'm right where I need to be and my little pouch is well loved and being taken care of. I've learned to follow the rules the doctor gave me and not try to make exceptions to those rules. They're life long rules, they're not temporary!

Christmas Goal Set

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:59:00 +0000

So I missed my Thanksgiving goal by 10 pounds. I'm readjusting my goal to about 3 pounds a week so my new goal by Christmas is to be 344 pounds. I'm down 76 - I have no need to complain!!!

Ready, Set, Goal!

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:53:00 +0000

Meeting this goal puts me at 62.2 pounds lost since 9/19/11. I couldn't be more happy. I have been so busy. I am going to be doing a bunch of recipes with the boy today from various places. I'll update you on how they go.

I also need to set a new goal for Thanksgiving. Since I have exactly 4 weeks... my new goal will be:

Getting to Know My Sleeve and Non Scale Victories

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:14:00 +0000

Today marks 20 days post op. I weighed in at 372 pounds. That is 59.2 pounds loss over a mere 34 days. I should have no problem meeting my goal of 369 pounds by October 31, 2011. My next goal will be 315 pounds as it was at that weight prior to 1999 that was so significant for me. I had just realized that I had avoided the scale right past the 300 mark and couldn't believe it. I surely didn't look 300 pounds. Or at least I hoped. Between 315 and 400, it was a blur. I changed jobs twice, bought a business with my husband, became a widow, had a total hysterectomy, and fell in love all over again, and became a step mother to two beautiful children. The only problem with the full circle is I became much rounder as well.

Now I am embarking on a different life. One that can't be coped with food. Food is no long the final answer in any dilemma or celebration. I've found that I am most satisfied with a protein shake and very soft foods. The mashed potatoes I day dreamed over while on full liquids, can't be tolerated by my pouch. The chicken salad just doesn't feel right so I avoid it yet a 1/2 of slice of toast with peanut butter is fulfilling and sits well. There are some things, I just refuse to try because I sense there will be a problem. At first, I was worried about all this intolerance. I was afraid that I was having irrational thoughts, but I think I'm just experiencing my new pouch and learning what it likes and what it doesn't.

As well as learning about what my pouch likes and doesn't like, I am struggling with my vitamins. Every time I fail to get them all in, I find myself beating myself up. Behavior look familiar? Well not with me anymore. I'm not doing that to myself anymore. The solution? Try something different. Instead of arguing with myself over how expensive the calcium chews are, I ordered 2 months worth. If I've got to take them damn it, I'm going to enjoy them. The two months worth was about equal to a carton of cigarettes I smoked in a week. Surely, I can afford them. After all, why go to the expense of WLS not to do what you're supposed to be doing?

The non scale victories are coming so fast, I can hardly keep track.
I went shopping with hubby for the first time in over a year. I'm talking walked in, walked around and shopped. This was no I'll run in really quick pick up what I need and get the hell out. I loved every minute of it.

I visited with my family and showed up with full make up, jeans that hadn't fit in over a year, a new top and button up shirt that were sizes smaller! My mama called a few days later to tell me how my aunt had called her and said that I looked beautiful and was completely a different person.

I catch my husband staring at me and when I say "what" he goes, I just can't get over how much you've changed. He is my best cheerleader in all of this.

While I'm still on a lifting restriction, I have help change my step son's bedroom from his old room to our office and rearrange our pantry. Something, I would have let my hubby do alone in the past.

I have found boxes and bags of old clothes that I can't wait to fit into. I even found size 14 jeans that I bought at Goodwill to sell on EBay but I kept them to fit into. I even found a fleece Tweety Bird hoodie still with the tags on that has my name written all over it in about 20 pounds!!

Doctor cleared me to go back to work on November 1!

1 Week Post Op - This Sleeve Thing Works!

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:39:00 +0000

In the last 21 days, I have dropped an incredible 40 pounds. This seems unreal. Don't get me wrong though, I love it.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting over the last few days and it's surreal. Chewing only sugar-free jello for 21 days and drinking the rest of my meals. During this three weeks, being allowed only clear liquids at times with no protein for filler. Three weeks. There were times in my life, I couldn't stay on my diet for 3 hours. I won't give my sleeve all the credit. I've done this longer without my new friend than with her. I guess you could say I've accomplished things I never thought I could. I have a new belief and it lies within myself. I like my changes. I have been very fortunate to go through this surgery with very little issues. I go see my dietitian today. Be good to yourself today.
Mary

Proof a Sleeve Can Not Live on Bread Alone.

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 10:29:00 +0000

I found this interesting abstract at the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health: In summary, a low carb high fat diet is more effective than a high fat diet in VSG.

Carbohydrate Content of Post-operative Diet Influences the Effect of Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy on Body Weight Reduction in Obese Rats.

Bielohuby M, Stemmer K, Berger J, Ramisch J, Smith K, Holland J, Parks K, Pfluger PT, Habegger KM, Tschöp MH, Seeley RJ, Bidlingmaier M.

Source

Endocrine Research Unit, Medizinische Klinik Innenstadt, LMU, Ziemssenstr. 1, 80336, Munich, Germany.

Abstract

BACKGROUND:

Vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG) effectively reduces body weight (BW) in obese rats and humans. However, post-surgical weight regain is frequently observed in subjects after VSG, but the underlying reasons remain poorly understood. We therefore investigated if post-surgical consumption of different diets can affect the outcome of VSG.

METHODS:

VSG or sham operation was performed in Long-Evans rats with diet-induced obesity (n = 37). After post-surgical recovery, rats were fed ad libitum either with standard chow (CH), high-fat (HF) or low-carbohydrate, high-fat (LCHF) diets. BW and food intake were measured every second day; serum leptin, cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, and triglycerides were analyzed 4 weeks after surgery. Energy expenditure and locomotor activity were determined by a combined indirect calorimetry system, lean and fat mass by nuclear magnetic resonance.

RESULTS:

After 4 weeks, BW gain, fat mass, and leptin were lower in VSG rats when compared to sham controls (p < 0.05). Energy expenditure and locomotor activity were not affected by VSG indicating that weight reduction derives from the significantly lower cumulative 4-week energy intake in VSG compared to sham. Sham rats fed LCHF consumed the most energy, followed by rats fed HF. In contrast, after VSG cumulative energy intake was highest in rats fed HF, but not different between CH and LCHF. Consistently, post-surgical BW and fat mass regain were highest in the HF-VSG group. Lipid profiles were improved by VSG but not differentially affected by diets.

CONCLUSION:

In conclusion, consumption of a HF diet but not the more energy-dense LCHF diet reduced the effectiveness of VSG in rats.

PMID:: 21971629; [PubMed - as supplied by publisher]

Iced Mocha

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 11:00:00 +0000

When I first started my two week liquid diet pre-surgery, I posted that I didn't really care for any of the Body Fortress Super Advanced Whey Protein powders except for Vanilla. I chose Body Fortress brand because one scoop packs 26 grams of protein!!! One scoop in 4 oz of skim milk is yummy. Two skips is like a creamy milk shake. The problem is, I have 3 great big containers other than vanilla. My excess is Strawberry, Chocolate, and Chocolate Peanut Butter. I made this Iced Mocha using chocolate but I think it will be just as yummy using the chocolate peanut butter. I can now move chocolate over to the yummy side.

High Protein Iced Mocha
Serves 1 Calories: 148 Protein: 26 Carbs: 6 Fat: 2

Ingredients:
1 cup Maxwell House Instant Decaf Coffee (1 tsp coffee mixed with 6 oz water)
2 packets Equal
1 Scoop Body Fortress Super Advanced Whey Protein Chocolate
8 oz glass of ice

Directions:
Heat 6 oz water in microwave. Stir in coffee. Stir in Equal.
Add 1 Scoop Body Fortress Super Advanced Whey Protein (chocolate flavor). Sitr until completely dissolved.
Pour over ice and serve.

Me from A to Z

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 14:33:00 +0000

Mary A-Z

A. Age - 42

B. Bed size - King

C. Chore you dislike -Cleaning the oven

D. Dogs - One, Maltese

E. Essential start to your day - It used to be a cigarette, now it's scheduling my vitamins and water intake.

F. Favorite color - Pink and Purple

G. Gold or silver - Silver

H. Height - 5'5"

I. Instruments you play(ed) - Piano, clarinet, tuba

J. Job title - DR Supervisor

K. Kids - 2 step children, boy 10 and girl 3, I usually refer to them as "the boy" and "baby girl"

L. Live - Michigan

M. Mom's name -Daisy (no relation to the Duke boys)

N. Nicknames - Shadow ( my step-dad used to call me this because I was always following him around)

O. Overnight hospital stays - May 2005 complete hysterectomy and October 2011 Gastric Sleeve

P. Pet peeves - snapping gum chewers

Q.Quote from a movie - "I'm your huckleberry" - Tombstone

R. Righty or Lefty - Righty

S. Siblings - Just me

T. Time you wake up - Work days my alarm starts at 6:30... it's often after 7:30 before I crawl out... this is a habit I need to break.

U. Underwear - always :)

V. Vegetables you don't like - Canned cooked carrots. Bleck!

W. What makes you run late - The Internet.

X. X-rays you've had - Teeth, Knee, Chest, Arm, Leg....

Y. Yummy food you make - Green Meat Burritos

Z. Zoo animal favorites- The Monkeys

Bring Your Own Crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 16:18:00 +0000

It's time to BRING YOUR OWN CRAZY!!

1. If you were given $1,000,000 that you had to spend ONLY ON YOURSELF....how would you spend the money?
I would buy a house in the country on the lake that had a pool and its own walking trail that goes into the woods. I'd also want my own fitness room. And my own bathroom that no one used except for me.
A Mustang Convertible Red or Black Please
A boat
A paddle boat
Wave runners
Clothes
Clothes
Clothes
2. Who would you say is the one person that's had the most influence on your life? By that, I mean the person that has molded you in to the person you are today?
My mother and father probably provided the most influence but I am a work in progress and I spend a lot of time on molding me to become the person I want to be today.
3. What is your normal morning routine? Are you a bear in the morning, or is the morning your favorite part of the day?
Mornings can be hell around here. Chances are if hubby is singing and whistling- I'm grumbling, grunting and growling...

4. If you're a Facebook and Twitter user, which do you prefer and why? If you're just a Facebook user, what do you think of the new changes?
I'm afraid to Twitter. The Internet already swallows up my time. I'm on Facebook more for games than anything so the I could care less about the changes really.

5. Repeat question....how was your week in real life and in blog land this week?
Real life - I had my sleeve surgery on Monday so it's the start of my new journey. I'm excited. I have had so much support from my loving husband, friends and family. In blog land, I can't express how much love and caring all of you have shown during this time. I am so thankful for all of you.

Knock Knock, I'm home.

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 17:18:00 +0000

Hi Everybody! I'm home. It is so good to be home. To sum it all up: I had a great experience. The care I received was wonderful, very little pain (i normally have a high tolerance) I am on my way with my new pouch and could never be happier with my decision.

Where do I start? Let's start at the beginning. I went into pre-op pretty nervous and the nurse helping me get ready for surgery noticed right away and promised that as soon as I talked to the anesthetist she would give me something for my nerves. On my bed lied a cute teddy bear that had a bariatric t-shirt on with a diagram of the sleeve procedure on the back of it. It was to be used for pressing against your chest to help the discomfort when you cough etc. I found I mostly snuggled with him at night. He was soft and I named him Poochy in honor of my pouch. I'm sure baby girl will claim him as soon as she sees him.

My husband, mom, aunt and father in law all came to wait during the procedure. Hubby says I was pretty "high" in the pre-op room but in good spirits and kept cracking jokes. Before I knew it, they were wheeling me into the surgery room. They had what they called a "floating mattress" that moved me from the bed to the table they would be doing the procedure on. Once they moved me, I don't honestly remember anything until I woke up in recovery. From what I recall, my first words were that I wanted to throw up. Prior to surgery, I'd been given 2 Darvocet for pain, and 2 other types of anti nausea medication along with the meds for my nerves. I will never ever have another operation without taking something for nerves. This experience and my hysterectomy were night and day when it came to fear factor.
Anyhow, I never got sick but I was a grumpy grumpy girl. Once I was wheeled into my room, I saw everyone and then asked them to leave. all I wanted to do was sleep. I got into my room after recovery at about 3pm - surgery was at 1030 and I slept off and on until 11 pm. I never had any pain meds until 11pm and I really didn't have any pain except for tenderness in the one incision they removed my stomach from and gas that settled right in the middle of my chest (thank God, it didn't move to my shoulder) . By 12:45am I was sitting in a chair and was watching some news channel where I learned that Amanda Knox's conviction had been overturned. At 1:15 I went back to bed and slept off and on until 7am. The first night I had a nurse that wore her keys around her wrist. I nicknamed her Jingles and she was amazed at what a good mood I was in and how well I was doing. She sat and talked to me while I was sitting up. It was while I was sitting up that I had my first taste of ice. I had taken that long to build up the courage to put something in my mouth. I was so afraid that it would hurt or make me sick. It went down fine.

By 7:30am Tuesday, I was walking to a wheel chair in my room to be wheeled down to have my test to be checked for leaks. Came back to my room and sat in a chair for 3 hours. I started drinking water in my little 1 oz cups 10-12 sips per 1 oz in 10 mins. I didn't like it. 1/3 of an oz was setting heavy on my gut and it made me uncomfortable. My father in law and mother in law came to visit while hubby was there. They stayed for about an hour and we had a really nice visit. The girls that work for me came on their lunch hour and brought me balloons and magazines. I was glad they came. I was excited to show every one how well I was doing. I saw many people that day that are kind of a blur. An occupational therapist, my surgeon's PA (I'll call her the Bad Cop, because she'll jump your ass if you're not doing what you're supposed to. You can't help but like her.) and a dietitian. I also walked the hallway (only once :() and had my catheter removed so that I could walk and use the restroom. I also took a shower and changed into my own pajamas. It was a wonderful relaxing shower. While I was in the shower, they changed my bed linens and I crawled into a nice clean bed. This was about 6pm and by 7pm I was sound asleep again. I woke up off and on and whenever they came in to check my vitals. From 2am to 6am I slept straight through. I had my cpap machine there and slept 90% of the time on my left side just like I do at home. I did want the bed inclined a slight degree because the area didn't seem so tender as it did lying straight flat on my back.
Yesterday morning, everything went fast. Everyone was on mission to send me home. I saw the PA about 8am and basically waited around before I got out of there by 2pm. I went and filled a few prescriptions with hubby (I waited in car) and then was home by 3pm. I took a shower - (hubby put in a new removable shower head while i was away and it's heaven!) and then sunk into my recliner to watch TV with him. I wasn't in the mood to mess with the computer or even read. I just wanted to enjoy being home, sipping on water! :)
Today, I started the protein shakes again and won't go onto cream soups or yogurt until after I see the doctor on Wednesday. I'm not hungry, I'm not in pain. The only thing that would have made this surgery better is if I could have woke up and been at my goal weight. My experience was completely wonderful, I really can't complain. You were all right, I was just fine :)

Thank you so much for all your well wishes while I was away. I had hubby read all of my comments and emails to my last night. I have the greatest circle of friends on this here Internet. :) Love you guys.
Mary

Surgery Day is Here!

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 11:53:00 +0000

Hi Everyone!
I wanted to make a quick note and tell you that I"m off for surgery. Today is the first day of the rest of my new life. Today my prayers are answered. Please keep me in your prayers. I'll be back before you know it.

Morning of starting 2 week liquid diet pre op: 431.2
Morning of surgery Weigh in: 400.8

Day 10 errr 11 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 18:54:00 +0000

Wow... I missed a day somewhere. Day 10 was actually the doctor appointment I wrote about on Day 9... hmm You know what this means don't you? I am one day closer to surgery!! woo hoo!

I met with my nutritionist today and she said I'm doing fantatic!!! I even brought it all of my vitamins to go over without anyone telling me. I also picked up my prescriptions that I'll need for right before surgery and after I go home so there will no unneccessary stops on the way.

Gonna make this short cuz they just dropped off the new Wii!!

Day 9 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 22:36:00 +0000

Today, I went and saw my regular doctor for medical clearance for surgery on Monday. I hadn't seen her since July and I had so much to tell her. She was very vocal in how proud of me she was. That made my day! I had to wait for her to come in for quite a while. She was very busy today and had fit me in to her already filled schedule. I had to laugh as I heard one woman come in. She absolutely refused to get weighed. I was that person just a little over a year ago. I would think of every excuse in the world to not have to step on the scale. Most of the time, I would win the battle. I'm not so sure the prize was worth it.

I"m 4 days, 5 nights away from surgery. This seems like a dream. I am so very lucky and blessed to have had this journey go as smoothly as it has and you know what else? I'm proud of me! I made up my mind in February to have WLS and promised myself that this time, there was no turning back. At every corner, I found an opportunity to say "screw it" and stop. I didn't. I kept trudging along. I quit smoking effortlessly, almost as God took away the desire to smoke over night. I took control of this journey and made sure all the people were doing what they had to do to get me to this point. I called my doctor to make sure she was sending my paperwork in, I called my surgeon to ensure they had everything I needed, I called my nutritionist to ensure her reports were sent in - I did everything in my power to make sure everything was done right to get me where I needed to be. After Monday, there is no going back. My new pouch will be my trophy to all the hard work I've done to earn it and I will make sure I keep it shiny and new. There is no going back.

I guess one could say that I'm a winner in a not-so-Charlie-Sheen kind of way.

Day 8 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 17:00:00 +0000

From now until surgery I'm on 800 calories per day. Last week showed a total loss of 29 pounds!!! That's 29 pounds less that I have to worry about after surgery. I would love to see another 21 pounds gone this week before surgery but I'm going to be happy with whatever the end result is.

I received my drugstore.com order in the mail today. I got 2 containers of unflavored protein and all of the vitamins I'll be taking. I was a new customer so I was able to get 20% off.

I'm now looking for a Wii ....

Day 7 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:29:00 +0000

Had some head hunger today and keep dreaming about food. Don't quite understand this one as I don't go to bed thinking about it. Any who, uneventful day in the pre op world but enjoyed the day with my family...
Monday I start phase 2 of pre op which is clear liquid diet with 2 Impact Recovery shakes and 1 regular protein shake that can not be ready to drink. The only chewing going on will be sugarless gum, sugar-free jello and sugar-free Popsicles... good thing I like them. :)

Day 6 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 21:30:00 +0000

Pretty uneventful day. Boredom and too much surfing resulted in a ton of head hunger, although not terribly burdensome. I spent about 6 hours working from home while hubby took the boy to a museum and to ride go karts. They also went out to eat. This was a good thing - kept the food smells out of the house and out of my mind. I had to laugh as hubby said they went to a buffet and that when he got there, he felt like he'd not eaten in a week like me. I laughed and said you weren't obnoxious were you? I often get disgusted at buffets watching people. When I was a little girl we had a buffet that the food was served on a round table the moved in a circle so everyone would go up and stand in their spot and as the food moved, you took from what you wanted as the selections passed. My dad used to refer to this as "chasing our food" so I ~~often~~ sometimes will object to going to a buffet and say , "nah, I don't feel like chasing my food". I like to be waited on. I also know that being waited on stops the anxiety of having others watch what I'm doing, judging me and judging what's on my plate. I can easily have huge anxiety just making a trip to a buffet.

Anyhow, don't know how I got on that rant but... I'm still trudging along. Life is good.

Take care,
Mary

Day 5 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 15:18:00 +0000

Day 5 went pretty good. I was so busy at work that by 4p I had not had anything all day except water and 1 protein shake. Let me be clear: this is not good. Those shakes need to be timed out so that your keep your blood sugars level and you wont hit rock bottom hungry and then it will be too late. This is not an example to set for people nor myself. Thankfully, nothing happened but it's not something to put on the "most proud of" side. Before I came home, I managed to get a sugar free jello in and a shake and then when I got home I had another shake and some soup. I got all of my protein in but not my calories... anyone seeing a pattern here? Remind me next week when I'm only allowed 2 recovery shakes and a protein shake (read no soup here) when I start complaining about how hungry I am or how I miss my soup. I love me some soup. :)

I found myself thinking about food last night because I was surfing for "mushies" planning the first meal so to say... seriously I went from Hot Pretzel with mustard to plain A1 sauce. Blahk! Now with a different train of thinking I clearly see I'm missing bold flavors... LOL

I'm not to the point where I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel because I'm not even 1/2 way to surgery and then I know I have at least 2 more weeks of the same after surgery. This will all so be worth it. I'm just taking a day at a time and moving toward my goal.

I have to honestly say it's been all head hunger and no physical hunger. I was even able to sit with co-workers during a lunch meeting and have them eat around me without it really bothering me. Hubby and the boy even had Burger King and ate IN THE CAR and then picked me up and I could survive the smell with the windows down. Hubby tries to be so careful around me but eating is something we do everyday and something we take for granted ... he felt so bad about the car incident and it really wasn't that big of deal to me, but I did have them roll down the windows.

Hubby has really been a supporter in all of this. He has been making all the meals and making sure that dinner is served and put away before I get home so I really haven't had much exposure to food other than work during this week. He definitely is my support system. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for him. I was truly blessed when he came into my life. He's definitely my Huckleberry.

Day 4 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 18:35:00 +0000

This is a recap of yesterday as I was unable to post. I only got 3 of my 5 shakes in - which is good and bad. I got the required protein in but not the required calories. The goal is to shrink my liver and stomach so if I'm going to not be perfect, lacking calories I suppose is better. I'm to that "if I don't feel hungry, I'm not drinking it stage". I don't hate them but I don't want them either. I think I will experiment with crushed ice this weekend. Probably by the time I find the way i love them, I'll be on to the "recovery" protein drinks. I already know I despise those. oh hum. I'm NOT COMPLAINING. I'm just going through the motions and chronicling the journey. I've dropped 20 pounds on the scale since Monday. That is frigging crazy. Co-workers say, "shoot forget the surgery and just do liquid diet." ... we all know that the weight will come back once we go back to our old ways. The will to keep going on this liquid diet is knowing that surgery is the reward at the end. Without that in sight, Day 3 would have been my fall off the wagon no doubt. Visions of surgery and post surgery is the only thing that gave me strength. Now I'm just going through the motions. This can be done, and don't get me wrong, I'm here for the long haul. I want my hammer!

I've already had a peak into Day 5 :) and I know it gets easier... I'll post Day 5 later today.
Take care,
Mary

Day 3 of 14 Pre Op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 01:15:00 +0000

I had my pre op testing today and met with my surgeon. I think my blood sugar got to low because I got very clammy and glassy eyed. The surgeon had me drink a protein shake in his office. I have felt like crap all day. I can't stand the thought of drinking my protein shake and I have only 2 in for the day. I know I have to get at least one more in to meet my 60 g requirement of protein. My calories are at about 800. I just don't feel well. I'm weepy. I took a 2 hour nap when I got home.
I'm not complaining. I'm not hungry. I'm doing this for the long haul. This is the work that must be done before-hand. Everyone who has done this says it's worth it and I believe them. I'd be doing the readers that are thinking about wls a disservice if I said this was easy. It is not easy. However, it will be worth it.
I think a little bit of me is pissed off still that I didn't do this on my own. That I couldn't control it on my own. I even found myself today asking if it was worth it and what if I tried one more time. I don't think that was my voice. I think it was my old voice with the idea of convincing me to throw in the towel so it would eat. It didn't win.

Drinking my shake and Going to bed...

Day 2 of 14 Pre-op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:40:00 +0000

I woke up on day 2 hungry. I woke up sad. I woke up feeling sorry for myself. I didn't jump out of this funk until about 3 hours later. I drank my shakes and ate a sugar free jello at work. I ate my soup tonight and switched up my shakes tonight for a different brand. I had gotten my sample of Nectar protein in the mail and mixed the Vanilla Bean with the Strawberry Mousse. Delicious! Loved it!

I had a really bad headache from the middle of the night that lasted until about 2 this afternoon. I made a call to my doctor to make sure I could take Tylenol and also asked if I could chew gum. Both I was told I could.

Tomorrow I have my pre-op testing and meet with the surgeon again. It's going to be a long morning but I'm looking forward to spending it with hubby and baby girl when it's done.

Thank you for all your comments and words of encouragement. Yes, today may not have started out pleasant but I wouldn't trade it for a day when my weight had me at my lowest moments. There's a spring in my step and a glow on my face.

Day 1 of 14 Pre-op

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 01:05:00 +0000

Plan for the day 1200 calories or less.
This includes 5 protein shakes,
A creamed/strained soup at 100 calories or less
Sugar free Popsicles/chicken broth/sugar free jello totaling less than 50 calories.

Today was so busy at work, I don't think I had time to think about food. I did once about 11am, I found myself thinking about buffet style macaroni and cheese. The irony in this is that I wouldn't normally get macaroni and cheese because I don't really like it from a buffet. I found myself kind of laughing at myself and then for a short time I found myself thinking about a salad with chow mein noodles with 1000 island dressing and red onion. This time has to be the worst time of the day for me at least feeling hungry but it passed soon. Hubby and baby girl had dinner before I got home so I enjoyed my soup and even found myself wanting to quit eating it before it was gone and I still have 2 shakes left to enjoy today and a sugar free jello. I'm not pleased with this because it is almost 8:30pm here. I clearly didn't space my shakes out correctly and let too many hours pass between shakes due to work. Tomorrow, I'll be more conscious about having them no longer than 3 hours a part.

I spent today making appointments for medical clearance, another nutritionist appt, filling out fmla papers etc. I'll be glad when all the hoops are jumped through. I'm so close... the anticipation is so great.

So let's talk about the protein shakes. I decided to use the Body Fortress Why Protein because of the protein count it offers. One scoop is 26 grams of protein. So far today my flavors I tried were:

Chocolate Peanut Butter, Chocolate and Strawberry.
I bought 2 lb containers at my local Wal-mart for $14.98. When added with 8 oz Skim milk, I'm getting in 34 grams of protein per shake! My protein count for today will be over 160 grams providing I get all my shakes in. Woo hoo!

So far, my favorite is the chocolate peanut butter. The strawberry was a little weak in the strawberry for me and the chocolate was a little strong for me. LOL I sound like Goldilocks. This was is too weak and this one is too strong and this one is just right... Clearly, liquid diets make me a little punchy...

Presently, I am watching Hell's Kitchen with Hubby as I post tonight. He was very supportive in asking if I thought we could watch Hell's Kitchen and I told him we could. So far so good. I like the drama better than the food they cook!

I'm off to make a shake and read some blogs. I hope your day was as good as mine.
Mary

The Email read... Mary .... Are you ready? ....

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 16:15:00 +0000

It was Friday close to 5pm and I was ready for the weekend. I had told my boss I wanted to leave early around 4pm and one thing came about after another and I found myself wondering if I'd even be able to leave by 5. I checked my email and there it was...
Mary...Are you ready? ... Your surgery has been scheduled for October 3. Please start your liquid diet on Monday 9/19.

Your surgery has been scheduled for October 3. Please start your liquid diet on Monday 9/19.

Your surgery has been scheduled for October 3. Please start your liquid diet on Monday 9/19.

I did it. Me. I let no one, nothing, no excuse, stop me from this journey. I had opportunity every time to walk away again. To let fear stop me from pursuing the one thing in life I ever wanted... to be me, have control over food and to feel normal. To feel comfortable in my skin. Three times I've walked away. Three times I found reason to basically say I wasn't good enough. Not this time. I found enough love for myself to make this happen and while I had support... unbelievable support from my husband, my family and friends and especially my blog friends, I did it. The tears haven't quit falling out of my eyes... all these years having the nails with no hammer and October 3rd, I get my hammer.
Everyone head on over to Cherlindrea at Weight Loss & My Journey to Find it. She is a really good writer and is seriously considering WLS. I really think she needs to see some supporters in this decision. Welcome her to blogland if you would. I was her first follower... make yourself her next follower :)

Nectar Variety Sampler Free Shipping

noreply@blogger.com (Poochy Ponders) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 18:56:00 +0000

Nectar Variety Sampler Limit one per person 13 Full serving packets only $13.00 Free Shipping.

If you want to take advantage of this offer, simply call 866-333-7403 x 803 Mon-Fri 8-5 Central time.

23 grams of Protein Per Serving ! I ordered mine today.