Perspective

One-Liners

2016-06-09T13:56:00.000+02:00

Free thinking and critical thinking are not the same. The former invites thoughts with no filter whereas the latter seeks understanding.

When we err it is better that we admit to it especially when it is pointed out to us rather than us harming our soul when defending the error.

Had we said 'why me?' as often when good happens we may be less happy. Likewise, when bad happens take it on the chin and move on.

The cemeteries are filled with people who may have considered themselves indispensable - be a teacher - leave a legacy death is certain.

Mufti Menk: The real test of a man's integrity is how he reacts when he's been proven wrong. Blessed is he who's able to admit his mistake graciously.

Every day I must find a way to tread life's highway and so I pray that I do not fall prey to the evil on display so help me God this day.

The prisons of the world are filled with people who are imprisoned by their thoughts and hatred .. The prison of the mind is dangerous.

A child's confidence sways much the same way as an adult's. Reprimanding them only can be counterproductive -encourage.

Jumping to conclusions is a sure way to misjudgment. Take time to consider the facts and other probabilities. Reflect.

Mufti Menk: Always leave others in a better state than when you found them. Learn to nurture, encourage, help, smile..; you'll remain in their hearts.

School back in the day

2015-06-05T08:38:00.004+02:00

I trust my imagination holds true - the oldies can tell me better - Ah! I love my eternal youth!
https://viewfromthebottomdotcom.wordpress.com/…/school-back…

Love taking Lessons

2015-05-18T05:00:00.000+02:00

The sun shone brightly in the morning. By early afternoon the wind carried the clouds filling the sky with grey and a few spots of blue. The day was beautiful and the blessings were gathered on the horizon. As the sun made its final bow for the day, one wondered whether the clouds have united en masse to bring a auspicious end to a memorable day. [ 524 more words. ]

Read Further on link below

Love taking lessons

by viewfromthebottom

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I want to DIE!

2015-05-07T08:07:00.002+02:00

I want to DIE! http://wp.me/p2avwv-12

I want to DIE!

I want to Die! “Yes, he may do it”, said the judge. Alas! all too late for this man who wanted his rights to die with dignity

#suicide #desmondtutu #fabricius

A subject of interest

2015-03-17T11:16:00.000+02:00

Many followers of the Abrahamic faiths viz Judaism, Christinaity and Islam are unaware that there scriptures forbid the indulgence in usury or, as we commonly know it, interest. The Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments, is littered with this prohibition and the Quran clearly speaks of the abomination of usury

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A subject of Interest http://t.co/0MSbWypEbO

Mid-life crisis at Forty

2015-03-09T12:09:00.000+02:00

Is 40 or 40-ish the trigger for a midlife crisis or the springboard for greater success? Many people are psychology-driven by this "forty" thing, others are totally blasé and yet others find it a time to make excuses for doing silly things.

Men and women look at things so vastly differently although they may end up doing the same things. Life is but a test and our environment certainly plays a big role. Men develop a view that "there are some things in life we have missed out on and we need to still try and do". It is the period after they have started a family and there was some settling down. Now that the foundation has been laid, the man wants to get out and play.

Women will tell you that they also have missed on things and they certainly need to explore further too. The eternal difference between male and female is most often exposed during this period. The man wants to hunt and be out there with his toys and whoever his playmates may be. The sensitive emotion-driven woman wants to be out there but for a different reason. She looks at her life and says "I have put so much effort into raising the kids while I too was working", I need to be out there being loved and enjoying the finer things in life.

It ends up being a tricky part of life when people stray and this is not restricted to one gender. But this straying is often to fulfill different needs. The woman wants the sensuality and the man, well, is not so sensitive about the detail. Is this real and can this be avoided and prevented? We cannot guess entirely what goes through our spouse's mind and there comes a time when even a thought or two is not shared. We are individuals and at times one may want that privacy - the privacy of our thoughts. That's not a crisis. The crisis is that, more often than not, people start living passed each other and thereby create different identities - the communication has broken down. This lack of communication allows private thoughts which are fuelled by different environments, by friends and family to steer us on a different path, a path not yet trodden by ourselves. The slightest spark lights the fire and the straying from the marital bed becomes a mistake or regret. Sometimes things spiral out of control and, often depending on the support structure, things are mended in some way or another.

This "midlife" period most likely is not defined at a set age, but anecdotally most changes happen around 40. People reflect on their lives around this time, intentionally or subconsciously (and more often than not it is the latter) and they see in their spouse an obstacle to greater happiness. Sadly, instead of finding a way to address it with the spouse, thoughts are further developed and action is taken unilaterally. The likelihood that you see some shortcoming in your spouse is further exaggerated because, over time, there was no meaningful way to address it.

The ideal person is the one who is young at heart but mature in his/her thinking and ways. The ideal couple is the couple where both parties share the view of being mature youths. Those that live with passion and have it ingrained in the family while be wise enough to build a platform for themselves and the children. Their wisdom will keep them from being reckless. Their midlife will not be a crisis but merely a springboard to take them both to greater heights together.

Forty is not a time to start being naughty. Forty is the age where we should think like a sage while with our spouse we still engage.

Friends

2014-04-22T15:34:00.000+02:00

Family is family and is no way, good or bad, that one can choose them

While friends one can meet aplenty but the one who sticks around is the gem

I never chose to meet you though, as even the first time we hardly greeted

What was to follow was an amazing friendship that I did not believe anything could beat it.

I cherish those times when a phone call, a message or a visit made my day

A bond that developed that looked strong that nothing could come in its way

In the quiet of the night, while asleep, a dark cloud may have enveloped our friendship

Your silence ever so deafening as the messages and phone calls you let slip

A broken heart I have for I know not what I have done to cause you any distress

Your friendship means so much to me that even now I pray that God you do bless

The joys that you brought to my life for that I can never in any way repay

Some people slip out of one’s life slowly and quietly but you seemed in a rush to get away

I sit and wonder about all the times we had and hope that you will soon you will be there

There where we shared much with each other and such was the love our hearts did bear

You have always been a special friend to me and your absence I cannot accept

Pray I will that my shortcomings you will pardon because in my heart our friendship I have kept.

Relationships101 - Happiness

2014-04-08T17:51:00.000+02:00

Picture the scene! You get up in the morning and you are all excited. Today you are going to conquer the world. You make a 90^º turn and you see someone standing there. It is your spouse. As great as you are feeling, your spouse is feeling the exact opposite. What happens next?

Amazingly, for some or other reason, it is generally more likely for a grumpy person to win the day than the happy person or at least at that moment. The reason being that the happy person will in all likelihood say the not-so-right thing and there goes the happy moment. We forget too quickly that we are all human and very vulnerable. Happiness needs work from the self while unhappiness, even thought possibly self-inflicted, does have the external factor to it. We thus flip into “negativity” much quicker than the other way round.

So what is the correct way for the happy one to influence the seemingly grumpy one. Firstly, always understand that the other person often is but a reflection of oneself. A couple are two halves of one and it is important that the whole remains intact. I am sure everyone would rather be happy than sad. Your contribution to happiness starts with that solidarity and oneness. We ought not to live with mere expectation but rather strive to be a positive contributor. Let the finger pointing stop, take a deep breath and calmly tell yourself “he/she will not spoil my moment/day”, then proceed to radiate your calming and positive energy. Feel for the other person with the objective to get them to snap out of it quickly without uttering the command.

Uttering the command is dangerous. Rather, find the root of the issue as quickly as possible and one of two things should follow. Your assessment, genuine and accurate, is important. How serious is the other’s issue? Suggest that you will help in some way, remember be genuine. If you are really not able to help, be consoling and suggest ways to resolve it. Perhaps buy time to find the solution because you may want, in the meantime, to have a little fun.

You are in a relationship and it is important to realise that happiness must include both parties. Building an understanding helps one be happy and happiness shared is happiness doubled. Living your “own” life while in a relationship cannot lead to real happiness unless the relationship is like a brick.

We all, or many of us rather, have the habit of provoking the other party or sometimes we may actually misread a situation. Restore the better situation as quickly as possible and don’t blame the other for an argument or the fact that the other had the “wrong” reaction. Be conciliatory and best, in a quiet moment, to discuss these issues even using hypothetical examples and many times the offending party will realise their mistakes.

Happiness is to draw someone into the circle. When they are not ready then make the circle bigger. Be inclusive and happiness will endure.

Long may you all find happiness.

Relationships101 - Marital 1

2014-03-27T12:07:00.001+02:00

“He is in love”, how can you miss it, that broad smile, he is simply floating. No doubt the scene for many a youngster and then the not-so-young can easily at a point get hooked too.

This is a scene you find early on when boy meets girl. They marry and are all so happy. Awesome – everybody deserves to be happy. Anybody who stays in one house long enough will tell you that over the years the amount of junk they collect is enormous. The occasional spring cleaning helps but most times it takes a move from one house to another to decide to leave this pile of junk. Our lives, the emotional side of it, is really not that much different. Over the years we collect a fair amount of “junk” through various factors such as work stress, financial stress and physical neglect. The “he is in love” smile has most likely developed into a snarl.

The very many factors that lead to this situation are lost on many, but remedy can indeed still happen. Most people forget that life has its phases and this realisation can help in trying to stay on top of things. There are obvious guidelines that can help realign the emotional side to remain neutral/positive. The aim should obviously be to avoid negativity. Emotionally, we are all in need of spring cleaning but there is one rule that applies always: Don’t throw away another’s junk. Be it physical or emotional or a combination thereof, each one is responsible for his own junk and he/she needs to come to terms with that. The whole idea is to create an environment to facilitate this. Most wake up too late and start the finger pointing, finger wagging bit. The truth of the matter is that the buck stops here – The “I” factor – rather it should be the “eye” factor. Look yourself in the eye and address yourself as to why the situation is what it is and why is it not a few notches better. What was your role in the matter and be adult enough not to shirk responsibility.

We look at the political landscape and we find much finger pointing and very little, if any, indication of people taking responsibility. So, place yourself in that position and then decide whether you would have responded better than a politician in any particular case. Now, beam back to earth and your house and household and put up your hand as one who have been out of line. Pardon, humbly, those around you who you think have also wronged and don’t hold them responsible for the past – let it be. The day you got married, you promised your spouse that you will do this and that and at best you did “thi”, not even “this”, let alone that. Look deep inside yourself and draw the strength to set yourself and your family on a new path. Be the leader.

Relationships are fraught with dangers – but we need to be aware of that (another discussion, another time). Perhaps we need to be mindful of one or two things before we depart (although perhaps you will come back and read my next blog J ), make very few promises, but those you make, keep them. And a promise you need to make, is to build relationships that will last and commit yourself to find solutions when the GPS (of the heart) is offline.

Now do a good deed and like this and spread - Love

Selfless or Selfie

2014-03-19T08:58:00.000+02:00

You have read the news headlines lately “Court hears details of shots that killed Reeva”, “Girl who survived brutal attack, dies”, “New uncertainty about missing Malaysian plane”, “Robbers get 30 years” – Sorry, sad reading.

Crime is nothing new, but the alarming rate at which it is increasing is scary. On self-examination many of us will pause momentarily and show our disgust at all of this. Very good – at least there is some feeling and emotion showing that our values have not been depleted totally. Few really care and show a keen interest and get involved. Others cannot be bothered by the detail as it is too far removed from themselves.

It is of course no secret that our own self-absorption causes us to not reflect on these situations enough. How will we know what is enough. – Aah – therein lies the issue. Until and unless we start to know ourselves, our very beings, the reason how and why we created, everything seems trivial. An atheist once argued that he does not need religion to have values. This is true to an extent, but then how does one define values. Values that shows little concern for another can that really be considered a value ; not stealing (and the implied honesty) can be considered a value, but is that not necessarily an inherent value because there is a law that prohibits stealing. So in a way, there is agreement that laws must exist.

But human laws have changed over time and as such lawlessness has become the order of the day. The penal system in itself is weak, but that is because the “value” system attaches more value to the rights of the individual than to that of society.

So you and I don’t really care – because we differ on whose value system is right. A value system indeed, guided by the whims and fancies of small, but yet seemingly powerful groups. This value system is diluted because we don’t know who we are. So let me belt it out – we were created from dust, we are mere nothings who have been given status only by our Creator. We forget that and behave as if we are self-made and we forget that we will one day return to our Creator.

We turn our back to His laws, or we twist His laws, we rewrite His laws as it suits us so that we may fit into society and claim our little bit of popularity. We dress shamelessly, we speak shamelessly and our promiscuous selves act shamelessly believing there is no beginning and no end to our fun. We forget we come from dust. Yes! Applying that make up after you were fashioned in the best of ways both inside and out – but you applied the paint on the outside and the inside become rusted. The inside where the value system is supposed to be nurtured has become a rust bucket.

There is hope yet, but first we have to clear our thoughts and words of superiority like, ”who died and made you God”, “Who gave you the right to speak to me”, “you tell me to dress like this while you have that problem”, etc ,etc. Bite your tongue and find the tonic to clear that rusted heart. It is easy for those who want to be selfless and not preparing to take another selfie.

Our most Merciful Creator has created chance after chance for us to improve ourselves internally. Let’s not be fake – show gratefulness to Him by acting on it. You are better than you look or are trying to look.

Amends

2014-02-03T14:58:00.000+02:00

in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Especially Merciful

I have so much to say but why won’t you listen and when you have to speak then you rather stay quiet

But behind the scenes you scheme and the real character emerges as you plan a riot

Broken bones and broken dishes these can be fixed although this one is more serious than that

I noticed that you are quite adept at that when you swoop at speed faster than an eyelid can bat

So the heart is all broken as you inflict pain when you take away that which is most beloved

For it is in your jealousy and deep selfishness that everything meaningful you wish to covet

You walk away without a shred of shame because for another you feel no pain

Arrogance in your walk for those who care to observe as another relationship you toss down the drain

Sadly, blind are those around you or may be not, but definitely their minds and tongues are numb

You have certainly been at it many-a-time but know that to your dirty tricks we will not succumb

You lie and cheat, and so much more, but one thing is for sure that you memory is short

While your protectors here may soon be gone you have given that no thought

But you do believe, even though you may only say it, that there is yet a life to come

And for the good people they will most definitely be entered into a place so awesome

If in any way they fall short to achieve this entry into this place called paradise

You will be called upon to pay your debt for all the harm you brought upon them and lies

Time is ticking away at a rapid pace and can you not picture your white shroud being prepared

Why then not hasten to repent and make amends before one of us is really dead.

The Tyrant

2014-01-17T09:51:00.001+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Merciful, the Especially Merciful

You have heard the story of Pharoah – Oh what a tyrant he was – then you heard about this one and that one – all these tyrants who oppressed many a people. So you may curse them for those who rule and spread corruption in the land, are cruel and unjust to their people – may be cursed because these oppressed people have nothing else left but their silent thoughts and prayers.

And you think smugly – they, the tyrants, are deserved of that. And you think that you are free of any blame. So you believe you are not a tyrant – because? You are not a tyrant because you do not rule over people? Then perhaps you should look into the mirror and check your thoughts – are you feeling of superiority for what you see? Take a look at your family and see whether there is any fear for you from them? Go outside and see who do you relate to best of your neighbours and why?

But then – look at all the people that you interact with or that you perhaps need to interact with and ask yourself – have I taken any of their rights – Have I taken someone’s inheritance? Have I caused some people to hate others only because of some differences or that they were blessed with more (in any way or form) than I am? Have I been hypocritical in my affairs such that deep down I plan the downfall of another?

Am I a tyrant?

The world is filled with tyrants at all levels and most of us are unaware that we may bear some of those traits. Tick tock the time flies by. We have added to family problems, to societal problems and these become global problems – are we not guilty?

A great man – Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him - said: By the one in whose hand is my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you submit, and you will not submit until you love one another. Greet each other with peace and you will love one another. Beware of hatred, for it is the razor. I do not say it shaves hair, but rather it shaves away the religion.
Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 260, Grade: Hasan

So spread goodness and slay the monster and tyrant from within. If you do not do so perhaps time will pass you by until you get into a situation like Pharaoh did as related in Quran: “
And We took the children of Israel across the sea, and Pharaoh with his hosts followed them in oppression and enmity, till when drowning overtook him, he said: "I believe that none has the right to be worshipped bu) He, in whom the children of Israel believe, and I am one of the Muslims (those who submit to Allah's Will)."

Now (you believe) while you refused to believe before and you were one of the mufsideen (evildoers, corrupts, etc.). So this day We shall deliver your dead body out from the sea that you maybe a sign to those who come after you! And verily, many among mankind are heedless or our Ayah (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). (Ch 10:90-92 Quran)

Superiority causes hatred but likewise does inferiority – rather remember we are all the children of Adam and he was made from dust. Spread love amongst one another, seek pardon and bite your tongue rather than spread tales and gossip.

Love and Peace

2014-01-13T19:11:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the especially Merciful

The sharpness of the blade is felt as it penetrates his back. He did not see his attacker yet he knew too well who he is. He did not expect that his attacker would stoop so low. There were many skirmishes and sparring sessions before but this was a step too far. They have grown a little older and a sense of maturity was expected of them all. That a sense of dialogue that needs to maintained to iron out any little issue that may arise. But the transgressor must believe that either the victim has the same ulterior motives as him or that perhaps the goodness of the victim already puts the transgressor on the back foot. He pounces, a strong hit as the blade penetrates, then, a twist to finally put the matter to rest. No one can survive that.

And so the transgressor thinks to himself: “Yes, victory at last and no one to dispute with me now. I am the king and have no concern about my tyrannical nature. I have my way to avoid being brought to account because simply put “there were no witnesses”. And it is quite clear that no one will dare challenge me. I have even before taken out the then mighty. Today everyone lives by my rules and shall bow down to me”

And such is life that in families, friendships, groups and communities there are always those who seek the glory. They will lie, betray, backstab and use whatever means possible to attain their goals. They forget too quickly that one day they will be brought to account before our Creator and will face the penalty that day.

So, let us check ourselves that we have not harmed another even like the brothers of Joseph (pbuh) or that we have not cast a stone at another. It is not too late to ask for forgiveness both from your Creator and your victim. As time ticks by, it becomes all the more difficult for when your “victim” is lying on his deathbed, do you expect him then to have the capacity to forgive you?

I say firstly to myself and then to you – that whatever harm we may have done – today I ask for pardon and wish to never repeat any such evil. I say to you, that the harm you caused me, the words of Joseph (Pbuh) to his brothers “today there is no blame on you” – I have forgiven you.

I pray that we spread goodness - that we spread peace – that we spread love.

Fusion of Hearts

2013-10-04T17:58:00.001+02:00

In the name of Allah, most Gracious Most Merciful

I proposed to you on a day when I did not know you
Yet in a few minutes I saw in you the future of us two
That together we will face the challenges the world may offer
Many may think we hide a treasure in some magic coffer

But it is the meeting of the minds and the fusing of the hearts
A magical place where seeds are planted and true love starts
The goal is simple to live with respect and serve each other
The evil one can do his best but he does us not bother

Even sometimes when sadness overtakes one of us
The other is there to untie all the knots and end all the fuss
It is true that every couple may have their disagreements
But how can we ever allow these to be of any permanence

No doubt some may ask whether ours was love at first sight
My only answer is that at the end of every prayer there is light
So for the one I love is that I do my best to treat her well
And I know when she missed me tears do make her eyes swell

So my love you know best that I am not perfect
But the love I have I am sure you will never reject
Praise indeed to the Lord who created me and you
And bonded our hearts into one instead of two

#Love #heart #Lord #treasure

Bring no Harm

2013-09-09T09:35:00.000+02:00

in the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Even from a young age you called me by name

Yet you showed no love as you put me to shame

With that you only can cast a shadow over your life

As with each step you do only invite nothing but strife

If it is fame you seek at the expense of another

So does the hurt you bring with it not you bother

Did you forget this world is but a temporary abode

That you worry not about deeds you carry in your load

So sad you see not now the error of your ways

Happy you are for as long as people sing your praise

What will be your state when upon you reality does dawn

Will you then be the one who cuts a figure so forlorn

The one you so deliberately took your time to harm

In so many ways that often there was little calm

So now in old age the victim has certainly not forgot

So his denial of forgiveness will surely be your lot

It is often said a cat has nine lives and we have one

But when the warner came you were happy for him to be done

For the reminders of your Lord was never meant for “me”

You seem certain your Lord will accept your “not guilty” plea

You prayed and you have been to the stranger good

Sadly the laws of your Lord you never really understood

So today I can only remind myself of that which I must avoid

For in you I see a reminder of how acts of goodness can be void

#spreadgoodness #spreadlove

Patience and Silence

2013-06-18T18:41:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allaah, Most Gracious Most Merciful

If silence is a sign of patience, then I need to be silent more

If silence is a sign of wisdom, then I need to be silent more

If patience is a sign of wisdom, then I need to be patient more

If a prayer is better uttered in silence, then I need to be silent more

But how is it that one can be silent when one sees suffering and even abuse

It is that one practises wisdom through patience

But patience may require silence but never inaction

Thus practise wisdom with patience and a measured silence

Such that there is no need to wail and beating the chest

Such acts are best replaced by silence

But the silence is broken when the wisdom has been relayed to a tongue

That speaks out against abuse and injustice

But there is beauty in patience

but excellence in wisdom

While silence is golden when little is to be said.

And the best jihad is patience

for this is the real jihad

Another’s opinion

2013-04-22T12:46:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

I asked you what the answer to “one plus one” was and you said “three”. I know not how you saw it that way but you were adamant without ever considering you may have miscalculated. I tried to explain to you how to calculate and perhaps in that way you will get to the correct answer. But you acted stubbornly. You said I waffled but you were never listening to even. You grinned as if I was talking absolutely nonsense and refused to listen to a word I said. Perhaps, my explanation was wrong but it was not my explanation you challenged. You merely listened to your own view - a view that you could not explain.

And in all of this, the answer was not really the issue. But the issue was that you refused to engage but stubbornly clung to your point of view or was it a point of view – anything another said had no merit to you. It was your way or no way and you made the other person look like a fool. Yet, you will claim to be the victim. But the only victim is you; you are a victim of stubbornness. The next person’s view does not matter because you refuse to learn and engage. You are as stubborn as a spoilt child, yet your mother never raised you like that.

You who wish to learn, need first to learn to engage. You who wish to give your opinion, must at least try and understand something of another’s opinion and if you still cannot, be adult enough to admit it.

At the end we may differ, but not until you have at least tried to understand something of what I had to say because I have tried to understand you. That is respect or is it that only you want to be treated with respect?

Learning

2013-04-06T10:14:00.002+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful

I look at history and find many a situation and people who made an impact

Today much of what we see and do does only from the true path distract

Does not one’s immediate family at least offer one some hope of growth

Or am i the person that even my dear ones think that they do loathe

I kneel before my Lord and shed a tear while deep in prayer

For what have I offered my family and friends to show I care?

To know that life is not that we should stagnate and grow no more

Rather, is it not a journey from this life to paradise that we live for

Perhaps not in one living person we find the complete example to follow

But from a few there is a lesson and some advice we can borrow

Then we learn it and practise it so that within our souls may grow

and with this improvement those around you will want also to know

That young or old, male or female each have a role to play

We can learn even from the young some of us may be grey

So acquire knowledge far and wide and the means to apply it

Then with that newfound wisdom the learning pattern is complete

That is who we ought to be when we impact others and learn from some
That we do not go through life as if our minds and souls are numb

But the sun needs to shine from our very souls and an active mind

Let not it be that on that great day we are raised deaf, dumb and blind

A bride no more

2013-01-27T10:14:00.001+02:00

in the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

She extends her hand reflecting the henna-draping in preparation for her wedding day. The exquisite wedding dress was a transformation of an idea, the right pattern and of course the ideal fabric. There is buzz of people around her as the excitement builds up to the actual wedding day.

Her parents are overjoyed at the occassion of her getting married. Yet in her heart there is a trembling for the certainty of the decision, which was beyond her, is about to become reality. Today she will become a wife and she will spend time and space with her new husband’s family. Silently and passively, she wonders why they call it in-laws.

At this tender age, she is agreeable to marriage, but fears that this decision was none of her making. She has no problem with the fact that parents have an important role to play in ensuring their chldren choose ideal partners. But therein lies the concern – was she marrying her ideal partner.

Revelry, exhange of greetings and gifts marks the occassion. Lavish as it is and joyous as it appears, she is withdrawn. She prays to her Lord, her Overseer, Allah, to guide her, to protect her and to make her marriage successul. Tears stream down her cheeks and as this not unusual for many a bride, nobody shares her concern. She manages a smile as expected of her. This bubbly person inside is smothered by the occassion and the reality of its meaning.

The success of the day is but a minute speck since the real success is the growth of the married couple as individuals and as a couple. As the wedding day became of distant memory, she bears the struggles of her marriage patiently. She eventually has children but the struggles are only intensifying as she feels robbed of her identity, her motherhood. Perhaps “wife” is a misplaced word in this partnership which by now barely resembles a marriage.

Her inner circle knows of her concerns, but nobody believes it to be too serious. An eventuality which was inevitable. The person locked up inside of her all these years wants to live. The bride of yesterday is no more. She can bear it no more. The most hated thing in the sight of Allah, but which is permitted, is about to become a new reality. She is granted a divorce after enduring much hardship. A harsh lesson but all good husbands will feel aggrieved at this situation. All good meaning fathers will understand that their ideal relationship is not necessarily the ideal relationship of their children.

Divorce happens. There ought not be a stigma attached, neither for the divorcee nor for the one intending to marry a divorcee. There are too many sad stories, some similar, some worse.

Marry them and if things don’t work out, after exhausting all avenues, then part in goodness.

The Bond

2012-12-30T11:36:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

The glue that sticks it all together has become undone. Slowly the world is fragmenting. Each one is on a path of his own. When he does offer a helping hand, the world remains resistant to such aid. But mostly it is that the world has become immune to bonding and adhesive. At best such bonding is merely for pleasure but holds little value and soon the cracks appear yet again.

This phenomenon is much the order of the day in families, in groups of friends and in communities. One would have thought that each grouping would have its own special bonding like the old saying that blood is thicker than water. But, while that may yet be true, the bond is no longer one of strength. This is not an overnight problem, but one that has been on the cards for a while, yet many turned a blind eye.

Somebody made a comment recently saying that “our generation are going to make the weirdest grandparents”. That may have so many meanings and while the one who said this may have meant something totally different, the reality is perhaps that the gap between families and generations are forever widening. Technology is likely to be a key form of bonding because the natural human contact is no longer high on the agenda.

Perhaps in days gone by a strong family member held the family together. Perhaps in days gone by friends trusted each other and built strong relationships. Perhaps in days gone by communities were held together because of the influence of strong elders. Some may argue that therein lie the problem. The problem may be that these strong influencers did not necessarily pass on the baton. These influencers did not teach others the values to lead, they did not mentor. But shall we merely place the problem at their feet and claim innocence?
The world is falling apart and we merely embrace each other for others to see, for the picture. We have done much scientific research, business has advanced, sports has changed with technology and yet human relations has become merely an academic subject and no longer the pulse of our lives. Our own selfishness, our own absolute independence, our own self-righteousness has made us islands. While wars are being fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, our own missile launchers are aimed at anyone who encroaches, even though well-meaning, and often those who encroach are those we know like family and friends,.

As another person recently reminded me “when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life a thousand reasons to smile” – likewise when those in our circle make us sad, think of the many joys they bring us and if these aren’t many, find the one thing that you appreciate about them. Let those around us share with love. Love each other with our hearts. It is no co-incidence that we, as Muslims greet by saying “peace be unto you” – we look that person in the eye and say that you and everything about you is safe from my tongue, my thoughts and I bear no ill-feeling towards you.
Spread peace and through the cleansing of the heart, perhaps love will grow. Perhaps it is too late to save this world, but for you and I, we can still live with each other in peace and harmony by living with love. Perhaps in our own small way, two may become four and before long families may have re-learnt this beautiful thing called love, the real love, the real bond.

I pray that the Almighty Allah guides us and instils in our hearts that love for each other that even death will not take away.

Choice

2012-12-24T22:37:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

It has come down to a choice. An important lesson and value is to understand how one makes decisions. What choice does one make?

I can make a decision which may make you feel good albeit momentarily. But the pressing point is whether I love you, as a fellow human being, enough to offer you something other than momentary comfort. Perhaps what I may say to you may make you momentarily uncomfortable. We may have had this discussion before (that is if you know me at all), but even now I am duty-bound to address you on this issue.

The day is dawning when you celebrate the birth of a person, and most of you call him the son of God. If he is the same Jesus who is the son of Mary, the virgin, then we Muslims say “peace be upon them” and we recognise him as a great Prophet. We do not, however, refer to him in any other way but as a creation of God and not in any way as part of the Godhead. If you celebrate his birth purely on this basis, the basis of being only a creation like you and I, then there may yet be some understanding between us. But most likely you don’t accept him purely as a creation and that is where my concern for you lies. That you recognise him, in some way or another, as part of a Godhead. I have no intention of criticising you, but rather I address you for two reasons, viz that you need to understand why I do not congratulate you on this festival, your day of celebration, and secondly, most important of all, I wish for you what I wish for myself, that you may have some understanding of Allah and Jesus (peace be upon him) and for that matter, to understand the most authentic book, Quran, which is nothing else but the word of God, Allah, Himself.

We have absolute conviction in this Holy Book and do not doubt even a letter of it. The majesty of the book is clear for all to see in all its facets. A book of which the eloquence, its word arrangement, its style, its historical accuracy, its scientific accuracy is beyond the abilities of any human. A book which is unlike any other book in that it is preserved in the hearts of men, women and children. A book which clearly states that God, Allah is One, that He begets not, nor is He begotten. A book which clearly states that Jesus (Eesa) – peace be upon him – was born of a virgin mother, that he performed many miracles by the permission of God, Allah and that he, Jesus – peace be upon him – ascended to heaven alive. That Book, Quran, also clearly states that Jesus is in no way the son of God. This is the book to which we subscribe, the word of Allah.

Dear Christian, if I congratulate you, then it is as if I wish you harm for I am telling you to continue on a path on which we disagree. Rather, my silence (as opposed to congratulations) should rather be seen as a prayer for your well-being and indeed wishing you well.

We also say Jesus (peace be upon him) saves and for that we revere him. He laid the foundation for a prophet to succeed him. That Prophet, Muhammad – peace be upon him – to whom the final revelation, Quran, was revealed, is the one we ultimately follow. Jesus – peace be upon him – remains special to Muslims for he was born of a virgin mother, he performed miracles by the permission of Allah, he ascended to heaven alive and he will return before all that is on earth will come to an end.

So the choice I make is one of love for you (because I love God Almighty, Allah) and therefore, it is for no other reason that I do not congratulate you on this day.

I greet you with peace.

The tale of Two Tongues

2012-10-14T10:32:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful, the Especially Merciful

Two people of similar backgrounds and ages sit down together for a meal

They have lived through much of the same but how they are different we will take a moment to reveal

Considerate, kind, attentive and concerned is clear in the expression of the one on the right

Carefree, expressive, bubbly as the one on the left brings much information to light

Facts and a dispensing of knowledge is of one who protects his tongue and his honour

A tongue so loose, letting out information, without checking its copyright, with much vigour

The attentive man on the right is deemed a freak for, although informed, he holds his mouth shut

While the tongue-wagging person on the left is the one where words flow like a glut

Much privacy for himself and those around him is for the one who guards his tongue

Aware we must be for dangerous is the one around whose neck one’s reputation is hung

The responsible person is the one who seeks to speak only with understanding

While understanding is undermined but the one who always has the urge of speaking

Strong-willed are both but the one, who remains silent, in no way belittles

While the need of the other to speak and be dramatic means that every time a tale he tittles

We are but one of the two people who may yet harm others but what we say

As without authority we, as is our general practice, present information on a tray

We pronounce judgement on the lives of others as in every story we contrive a change

The licence we have given ourselves makes every other story always seem strange

Indeed the safety on man lies in the guarding of the tongue

While it is quite the opposite when every bit of information is far flung

I pray that I am more like the man on the right who will not stand by listening to the one who gossips

The one on the left is the one that will present to you, before asking, about someone many tips

Being Charitable

2012-07-30T13:36:00.000+02:00

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

An unassuming man, he sends out the call – A neighbourhood needs to be fed and perhaps add a few toiletries to the goodie-bag. The call is heeded. The troops gather, bringing with them the provisions as donations. A truck is loaded with pots of soup, many a loaf of bread, groceries and, as a treat for the kids, some sweets and biscuits.

The helpers, some aboard the truck, others follow in their cars ,proceed to a nearby neighbourhood, to satisfy the needs of some. The need is great and a greater effort will be required to feed all. The hope is that this will grow so that more can be fed.

Nevertheless, it is a lovely winter’s afternoon, the sun has, for once this season, the sky to itself. Not a breeze. Beautiful. As the truck arrives, the expectant crowd gathers. The helpers take up their posts and the food is handed out. One or two people are tasked with ensuring the flow of people to ensure that we reach as many people. Kids are among the expectant crowd and for those kids amongst the helpers, it is most definitely a humbling experience to see this. The gratefulness on the faces and the utterances of those who received the goodies no doubt makes one realise that this is but the mercy of Allah Almighty. Had it not been for two parties separated by an economic schism, the have’s (even those of us with just a little more) would not have had this awesome opportunity to understand the mercy and blessing of Allah Almighty in that He has given some more than others. Perhaps those who receive less here will receive more in the Hereafter, but it is such that now the giver and taker develop a love for one another. The one who gives does not feel any bit of superiority over the other. Both are grateful to the Almighty Allah because it is through His mercy that some felt the need and love to share of what they were given. The other party took for it was their need and, not once, as anyone made to feel that they( the have’s) merely owe it to them (have ’s). They too remained humbled and grateful.

There is many an effort of charity like this. There are people more experienced than this man when it comes to charity. But it takes a man with a big heart to be there for so many people, to be the driving force in helping others, not only it what is being said here, but in countless other events.

We salute people like him and pray that he is rewarded abundantly. We pray for all those who sacrifice in helping others for the good of humanity with the aim of please the Creator, the Nourisher, the Sustainer. We salute the many organisations that go the world over to address the plight of the people. We salute the individuals involved far and wide. As we shed a tear for the plight of the people and, sadly hand over only a few pennies in the name of charity, we pray that perhaps we become those soldiers in the trenches. We ought to be more charitable, not only with our money, but also of ourselves and our families – it’s not a feel-good thing .. it is just a good thing. We cannot be satisfied while our neighbour goes hungry!

So we praise Allah for bestowing on us our health and the wealth that we may be contributors in His cause and effect the equilibrium, for that is our responsibility.

The Call

2012-07-18T23:09:00.000+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Welcome my friend, I missed you much, so glad you could come

You are special for your master sent with you bounties and then some

I confess that I have so neglected myself since last you were here

All those promises I made, in most I failed, only to few did I adhere

How serene the atmosphere, the desire to do good, now that you did arrive

The worldly desires have somewhat faded and hearts have become alive

Oh how sweet the sound of the recitation of Quran, a most beautiful gift

Absorbing it all and abiding by it will most certainly cause with bad deeds a rift

So now you are here it is required of me from pre-dawn to dusk that I abstain

From food and water while with greater sincerity my prayers and conduct I maintain

While those who understand not, consider this noble task perhaps burdensome

Not in the least can the immense bounties you bring be found loathsome

Yes I do realise that you have come to remind me ,yet again , of a better me

This training ground is much better than any other coaching session which is free

So I pray a little extra, give some charity and I remember my Lord and His blessings more

He, Allah, your master and mine, has promised that for this much blessing is in store

So I pray that your stay, however short, will be for me most beneficial

That on that Day, your witness in my favour will be made official

So I embrace you even more than I ever have, knowing that I truly love you

For this love is for no other reason but that my Love for Allah is true

Most certainly I acknowledge what you mean to me now, and always will

How then can I not invite others such that we may all forsake the evil

From my sisters who have not covered up to others who have not prayed at all

Always a good time to tell my non-Muslim friends to answer this call

The call is to obey Allah who created me, you and the entire universe

Such indeed was the call of Abraham, Moses, David and not forgetting Jesus

And on all of them be peace for they were without doubt great messengers

And to be complete, so too peace upon Muhammad the seal of all messengers

O you who are a slave

2012-07-11T21:28:00.002+02:00

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

O you who are a slave! You refuse to be a true slave, a slave to the One Who Created you, you refuse to be a slave to the Truth, yet you are but a slave.

Unfortunately, you are the one who gets up early in the morning to go to a place of work – a place which you do not enjoy being at; nor do you enjoy the wage being paid to you. Yet you are slave for the truth is you do not know why you are there and why perhaps you need to be there. You work overtime for minimum wage. You consider being flirtatious as a way to get ahead. You have sold yourself, your soul for what? A career? A job? Money? Status? You are a slave to a world which is meaningless.

You dress in a way which sometimes make you look uncomfortable, perhaps you are. But it is simply that you are a slave. You are a slave to fashion. You are a slave to peer pressure. You are a slave for truth that may be inside your heart is simply overshadowed by your master – the pressure from without – the fashion and society. You are a slave to that which is superficial and you don’t even realise it for you are its slave. Your life is superficial .. does that mean it is meaningless?

You party, you enjoy yourself when you often know the consequences of it all. But you cannot stop for you are a slave. You are a slave to the pressure of those whose lives revolve around fun and those who have shunned responsibility. But you a slave to those who have not your best interest at heart for you have succumbed. So you were there, so now you “in” .. in what? In slavery ... another meaningless exercise in being superficial – for you are its slave.

You have given up morals and values – you call them outdated – for you are a slave to a society bent on destroying itself but you have shunned truth, so how should you know. What say do you have for you are a slave to a lawless immoral society who looks down on the poor, the meek, the humble. “No, we don’t I hear you say”, but how hypocritical you are – for the moral you practise, they do too to your dismay or shall we just say the morals you don’t practise neither do they. But you are slaves to those who propagate immorality and for you nothing is taboo.

So are you a slave to Him who deserves your servitude or you are merely a slave to everything that goes against that which is natural? What is natural is what is from nature. What is from nature is what is from the Creator, Allah. He created men such that they grow facial hair, yet they shave it. He created men and women with eyebrows, yet women see fit to pluck it. And so the list goes on, the list with servitude to that which opposes the nature given by Allah.

The reality of this misguided servitude is because we may not properly understand why we are here. If you are a true slave, a slave of Allah then indeed you are free for you are one that have humbly submitted to Him who does not change. But if you are a slave to everything else, you will continually strive to obey the master who changes with time, be it your boss, fashion, the latest social trends, and whatever else you may fancy to be a slave to.

Those who deny the truth and thus are really slaves of the latter, then they have no reason to complain for they have brought their misery upon themselves. But these are the people who find reason to complain.

Whatever you do in life, do it for the right reason, not for your whims and fancies. Be a true slave!

In case anybody misunderstands – I am neither slating work or your boss – what I am merely saying, get to enjoy what you do, ensure mutual respect for your boss and colleagues and progress in your career on being the best at what is required from your job.