The Nurses' Station

Sex Ed

2012-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

I think we should hire these individuals to teach sexual education in high school. This is sure to detour teens from finding it appealing ;)

Juicebox

2012-10-09T17:45:00.002-07:00

I think Nurses use the same Juicebox

Obesity

2012-10-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

As if drinking doesn't add enough empty calories...

My day off

2012-10-06T11:35:00.001-07:00

What my husband has to suffer through when I'm unexpectedly called off work.

Who Am I?

2012-10-05T13:00:00.001-07:00

I can't tell if this is a mattress or a teenager...

It's OUT!

2012-10-04T20:49:00.001-07:00

When it takes 8 pokes to get an IV in on a 2 year old... And I walk in to find the patient has yanked it out :(

Lunch... sort of...

2012-09-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

How day shift consumes lunch

How night shift consumes lunch

Tx = Parentectomy

2012-09-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

When the parents of my patient start doing this...

I usually look like this while casually stating... "Let me get the doctor to answer your questions and concerns"

Which Type of Nurse are you?

2012-09-30T12:29:00.001-07:00

Nurses have been a trope in fiction for centuries. From Dickens’ drunken, sleeping slattern to the modern sexy beasts of E.R. and Grey’s Anatomy, nurses have had nursing styles galore. Take this quick quiz to find out which fictional nurse you most resemble!

1. A doctor enters the nurses’ station and asks for help entering an order into the computer system. You:

a. Drag him into the nearest clean utility room and rip off your shirt, revealing a provocative lace brassiere (double points if you’re a male nurse)
b. Light a hundredweight of gunpowder in such a way that a score of wolves is revealed to be blazing around you
c. Try to help him, but become entangled in some wacky computer problem such that you blush and stammer, charming the physician with your innocence and good nature
d. Show him where to click with the mouse and how to enter the order

2. You’re dealing with a difficult patient. How do you try to establish a rapport with him?

a. You reveal that he’s actually your long-lost brother’s second wife’s stepson. Hilarity ensues.
b. You tell him a sweet story to lull him to sleep, then laugh in a horrid manner, disquieting him extremely.
c. You persevere with good humor and efficient, quiet action, accomplishing tasks with such gentleness and intelligence that he can’t help but become fond of you.
d. You read him the riot act and have no trouble the rest of the shift.

3. Something horrible has happened on your shift. What do you do?

a. Immediately stick your hand into a ceiling fan, your head into a helicopter propeller or your entire body into the icy waters of the nearest ship channel in order to provide a good subplot.
b. Drink some gin and go to sleep by the fire. Whatever’s going on, it’ll be resolved by the time you wake up sometime in the next chapter.
c. Widen your eyes in shock, flail about a bit, then come up with a nifty idea that saves the day.
d. Sigh heavily, roll your eyes and call housekeeping to help you mop up the entrails.

4. You fall in love with somebody at work. Who is it?

a. Your immediate supervisor, who, unbeknownst to you, is also your sister’s younger daughter’s half-cousin.
b. A poor yet noble scion of a great but fallen family.
c. A handsome intern with only your best interests at heart.
d. That cute guy who delivers the specialty mattresses on Thursdays.

5. Why did you go into nursing?

a. It’s a glamorous, well-paid job with great-fitting uniforms and plenty of time to gossip.
b. It’s a living. One that lets me afford gin.
c. Because I want to help people! Especially those boys at the front who are giving their all!
d. I couldn’t make a living with a degree in English.

Next: Your Results →

Your Results

Mostly As: Congratulations! You’re a Grey’s Anatomy Nurse!! You have the best setup of any nurse out there. The trouble is you’re mostly invisible and generally used only as a sexual object or an early victim of some horrific accident or plague.

Mostly Bs: Congratulations! You’re a Classic Literary Nurse in the style of Mrs. Gamp in Dickens’Martin Chuzzlewit! You’re long remembered by readers of the best that English literature has to offer. The downside is that you’re mostly drunk and generally really frightening.

Mostly Cs: Congratulations! You’re Cherry Ames! We all want to strangle you. You do get the cutest uniforms, though. Those starched collars! Those capes!

Mostly Ds: Congratulations! You’re a nonfictional Real Nurse! Now get off the computer; 822 needs a bedpan.

From Scrubs Magazine

BY JO, RN • SEPTEMBER 26, 2012

sedation

2012-09-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

When I finally get the order for vecuronium or propfol on my vented patient who has been thrashing around for hours...

1 more thing!

2012-09-29T16:24:00.001-07:00

When I get back from the 3rd errand for a patient with the towels they have requested and they ask for "1 more" thing...

Good Luck!

2012-09-29T16:06:00.000-07:00

As I finish reporting off on a patient who has been up all night hallucinating and screaming at the top of their lungs despite multiple doses of ativan, versed, and haldol. Good luck :)

Professional

2012-09-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

After Mr. Cranky doctor gets moody with me for doing my job and calling him in the middle of the night (when he is on call)...

Graveyard shift

2012-09-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

The way I consume my "lunch" at work at 2AM...

Surprise!

2012-09-25T17:09:00.003-07:00

When I've been super busy at work all day and get sight of the clock at 6:45!

Buckle up!

2012-09-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

Job security for us pediatric nurses ;) Note the look of worried confusion on the infants face... even they seem to know that this isn't legit.

THAT patient

2012-09-24T13:10:00.002-07:00

When I come back to work the next day and "THAT" patient has been discharged. You know which patient I'm talking about... the one who isn't really very sick, but requires 93% of your time anyway.

Sadistic Humor

2012-09-23T14:58:00.003-07:00

It appears that an optimist crossed this deer's path...

Dead or Alive

2012-09-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

A nurse in an inpatient setting was caring for a patient (we will call him Mr. Smith) who was dying. The family was with the patient when his breathing began to slow down, eventually stopping. A family member walked over to the nurses station and informed the nurse that the patient had passed away. Protocol is to inform the covering physician of the death so that he can officially state the time of death and assess the patient. In this case, the doctor was informed of the death via a phone call.

Nurse:"Hello Doctor. Mr. Smith in room 604 has just passed away."

Doctor:"Ok."

Nurse: "Doctor, you need to come and pronounce him."

Doctor:"What?"

Nurse:"You know, pronounce the patient's death and time of death."

Doctor: "What do I pronounce him as?"

Nurse:"You pronounce him dead. Can you just come and see the patient please?"

Doctor:" Why, if he is already dead?"

Nurse:"Get over here and see the patient."

Click. Hung up the phone.

About five minutes later, the doctor in question (or you could say the questionable doctor), arrived onto the floor as politely requested. He asks where the patient is, walks into the room, and says:

"I now pronounce you dead."

In front of the family.

Silly me

2012-09-22T16:31:00.002-07:00

When my patient is desating for some unexplainable reason despite me increasing their oxygen a few times... and my coworker comes in to find the tubing not plugged into the wall.

EAT!

2012-09-22T16:16:00.001-07:00

When I have a patient who is anorexic...

Truth

2012-09-22T03:45:00.001-07:00

When trying to explain medical procedures to a pedatric patient...

Giving meds to kids

2012-09-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

The first time I gave prednisone to a 3 year old...

Then, the patient started this

SO, I started this

Looking for this

Inevitably... this is the end result :(

Report

2012-09-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

When the Nurse I'm getting report from in the ED informs me they haven't seen the patient yet...

Lab

2012-09-19T14:04:00.002-07:00

What I look like after lab calls... really doesn't matter what they say