SP Lovecraft Productions

why I do what I do, 2018 edition

2018-05-11T05:43:00.001+08:00

Abbee is a Creativity Cultivation Coach & a Soul Expansion For Serenity & Life Mastery Specialist. She does these by performing & teaching the ThetaHealing® technique to clients, as a certified Medical Intuitive & Instructor. She also applies other healing modalities such as the Millennium Method© (as one of the very first certified Master Practitioners in the Philippines) & Sacred Soul Alignment™ (currently working to be a certified Advanced Practitioner after a year) to help clear limiting beliefs & stagnant energies for an exponential transformation experience every time. Her signature #TranscendenceThroughTarot & #EnlightenmentMadeEasy coaching has what made her brand S.P. Lovecraft Productions renowned since its inception in April 2005. She aims to be practical & drama-free with her approach, to make metaphysics more understandable, relevant, & useful in our daily lives. She is currently launching her #SatoriWithAbbee sub-brand & sub-modality, encouraging phenomenal soul awakening, re-alignment, & ascension in her clients. Success here on Earth can made much easier & possible once we strengthen our spirituality, or so she believes. A city girl at heart, with love for pretty gardens & beaches & crystals & Oriental shrines, she operates within the Makati CBD.

Stay tuned for my revised life coaching packages!

& check out my classes in The Daily Aah website by my wonderful fellow ThetaHealing Medical Intuitive Ishilta:

https://www.thedailyaah.com/events/

& here are my schedules for the rest of this month! (Session times change monthly!)

https://calendly.com/sp-lovecraft/full-personal-session/

Kindly set your desired appointment time & then settle your payment at least a day in advance! For payment information, that will be given as soon as you finalize your appointment time. Your information is kept private & safe, never sold to third parties. Thank you so much! Love & light to you!

making this my best year yet

2017-04-03T06:39:00.001+08:00

Hello again, everyone!

How do you like my new logo?

That's just the start of a whole slew of new things to come, & I can't wait for my long-overdue blog redesign!

My brand is light, feminine, fresh, perfect for springtime, but definitely hard-hitting & on point when it comes to getting answers & solutions; because clarity, empowerment, & success is what I'm here for to help achieve.

It's been 12 long years since this brand started, during my 10th high school reunion, but it never really got a name until 14 months later. About time I do something about this!

I've just been really busy!

I'm just scheduling certification classes (learn #ThetaHealing from me! 1:1 classes are available!), a monthly healing workshop (the latest is on April 29th, 4pm-7pm, in Salcedo Village, Makati, with limited seating), & private 1:1 sessions (I'm available this Tuesday, April 4th, 5pm onwards; then Thursday, April 6th, 7pm onwards). & of course, visualizing how to get this show on the road, while decluttering my home big time, & going through personal assistants like crazy.

My new PA is Catherine Orbeta, so don't be alarmed if she texts you in my place to confirm your appointments.

So I have IG & my official Facebook Page, yes?

Should you wish to PM me, please do so on my Facebook Page.
Please expect a response usually after lunch, like 2pm.
I also give free Tarot readings there every time the Moon is either Full or New, or if there's a holiday, at the very least.
Make sure to Like my Page before posting your question for your free reading.

I still have my cellphone number, btw, but it's best to Viber me on that number for a quicker response.

& be sure to send me your email address so I can send you my online scheduler.

I've raised my rates so please PM me for details.

& no, I don't offer run-of-the-mill intuitive readings.

My services are for serious takers, who are in need of dire life coaching & emotional x spiritual relief.

I'm still very much alive. Watch out for more changes! :P

Enjoy S/S '17!

counting down to 2017

2016-12-09T17:14:00.001+08:00

2016 was a weird, wild ride; I almost didn't make it through.

But thank heavens that a lot of people helped me out, & I've learned so much while teaching my first few Dig Deeper certification classes starting last summer. My classes were fun & intense at the same time. I've found a new coworking space as a result of wanting to make my classes & workshops more conducive to learning protocol & collaboration. I also aim to get more writing done, anyway, without having to endure being in noisy, distracting cafes. I've changed so much in the last 2 years... or even in the past few months. I hardly recognize myself anymore, but I'm also happy to gain some of my old attributes back, if that ever makes sense.

I've actually been giving a day-long trial pass as I post this, & it feels, uhm, a bit weird to be in an office setup again, but I think it'll be good for my psyche, even if I should really be retreating more & going with the flow, as per my personal astrological transits.

Speaking of personal astrological transits, there's a huge chunk of planetary activity in my 3rd House of Communication (both Sun & Saturn in Sagittarius; Mercury in Capricorn), so I guess I'm really meant to do this today. Like, go getcho werq done, Abbee, & remember there's a vast world out there. With Venus in Aquarius along with *gasp* Pluto in Capricorn in my 4th House of Home, I'm taking a break from my humble space & finding another spot to be myself in. Then with Mars in Aquarius swirling in with Neptune in Pisces in my 5th House of Fun & Creativity, highlighting my need for new things to try & an onslaught of art to bombard my senses with, I'm getting SO MUCH WRITING DONE. Or not. I feel a bit scatterbrained, way too idealistic, overwhelmed. But it's a great feeling to feel all this & have my silly chart approximations validate what's happening to me. This is why I love modern Western astrology & why I incorporate it in my sessions. I'll have stand-alone sessions for that soon, but for now, I'm using it sparingly, because I'm still working on shifting my forecasts & perceived outcomes with my new energy healing modalities.

Anyway, more on my personal astrological transits, there's all this Aries energy in my 7th House of Relationships today, no thanks to the current Moon & Uranus, which amplifies my natal Moon-Uranus trine & my Aquarius Rising streak. & my rather horrible temper. I've had my day start on a not-so-peachy style, but I think I'm feeling better. I have 4-5 more hours of getting my virtual blather done, & if my Aries friend Mika shows up for the 3rd time this week today, then that proves my astrology right. If there's anything I need right now, it's a sounding board (& maybe more coffee).

I'm learning that I'm the most iconoclastic worker in the space at the moment, btw.

SIGH.

Since we're on that subject, let me just remind you all that I'm still working on my major revamp overall. My blog has been 10 years in existence technically, & I think it's time to grow up & move on. Let's see if I get breakthroughs today, through Belief Work, first & foremost.

I'm tuned in to this awesome deep house track to help put me in the zone:

BTW, if anyone's on Instagram, I've synced my IG into my Facebook Page. Let me know how my crazy antics are appealing to you (or appalling, whatever applies, hehe, please NOT).

I think I will sign up today here & take up space.

So what else is up with me?

1) I'm taking a dreamcatcher-making class this month, because dreamcatchers do make me happy & I could use more grounding in my life through arts & crafts. Maybe select clients will be lucky to get some of my uh, creations as gifts this holiday season!

2) I'm preparing for my first ever Winter Solstice Soiree facilitation (a follow-up to our pioneering powerful New Moon in Sagittarius Soiree with Rosan Cruz). Enjoy quick ThetaHealing® & Kundalini Yoga meditations & "downloads" & music, as well as Tarot readings & Millennium Method clearing & boy, am I getting a kick out of gong baths lately. If all goes well, we'll hold it on December 21st.

3) I've missed out on my first Thanksgiving x Friendsgiving dinner with my homies & I feel a bit horrible about taking a break from going out & supporting their gigs because, uh, #werq, but if it means I'm getting to do more #SelfCare (there was an actual class I completed a couple of months ago via the Millennium Method, haha), then so be it. I've got #FOMO like hell but I really need to be here for moi, for now.

4) I'm planning to teach my next few courses starting January 14th next year. But I'm open to teach at least 2 classes before & after Christmas / before New Year's Eve, so yes, let me know!

5) I'm obsessed with having everything reorganized before Mercury stations Rx.

6) I've been sleeping very early, too. Not by choice, it's just how it is lately. But I'll still have appointments usually done after lunch. At least if I'm not buried in my paperwork, especially while I'm out "coworking," hehe, WTH.

7) Will announce limited holiday specials! This is to really usher in the changes I've had all set up since April this year. My new Terms & Conditions will take full effect once 2017 rings in.

8) For now, please contact me via Viber at my published number, so I can respond to you more quickly.

Excuse me while I get the rest of my life in order, so I'd be of much better service to all of you.

P.S. I refuse to be called a "fortune-teller;" ("FT") rather, have me as your "fate-changer." But for those of you who found your way here because you think I'm that, I'll still take it easy on you, yay.

o, hai, 2016! (part 2 -- planetary bonanza aftermath)

2016-03-25T22:52:00.002+08:00

I'm back.

But maybe not for long again.

Tonight is a somber time: Good Friday transitioning into Black Saturday.

It's nice to have a bit of peace & quiet in the city at this time of the year, but a lot of establishments will reopen by tomorrow, just before noon. You oughta be chilling at this point! ;)

I'm trying to get a bit of work done while enjoying the waning Libra Moon, but I really need to relax more.

Anyway, I just have a few announcements, as I'm already applying a lot of changes since my last post:

1) As of April 1, 2016; my rates for 1:1 ThetaHealing® classes will increase considerably, as my 1:1 private session prices have already changed as well. Packaged rates are still available. Prepaid sessions are highly advised.

2) Free reading & healing requests will only be entertained via my Facebook Page promo posts from now on.

3) Waivers will be signed before a private reading/healing session. An assessment questionnaire must be filled up before a session starts, for new clients. Confirmation of a session must be done again online. Failure to show up will forfeit the session time & payment. Again, prepaid sessions will be requested more in the next few months.

4) Repeated absences resulting to non-completion of courses = non-certification will be subject to a completion fee, especially if reason for absence / delay was not fatal in the first place.

My sessions don't involve mere fortune-telling anymore, please be advised. What I offer is only for the more serious seeker of answers, who would require emotional healing, who would want actual life coaching. Though I would still be redirecting to the proper authorities for any other financial, medical, legal concerns; I will always do my best to help out.

I'm more comfortable being called a "psychic" & a "healer" now, because that's what a ThetaHealer® is at the end of the day, basically, but I'm not here for your flimsy entertainment. & if you only want to hear the answers you want to hear without working to get your desired outcome & being accountable for your thoughts & actions, then it's best that you consult someone else.

To know more about what I offer, you can ask away via the "Contact Me!" section of this blog.

I'm also still selling limited editions of this 3-part ThetaHealing® meditation CD I got overseas, aside from a few ThetaHealing® books not included in my Basic & Advanced DNA2 class enrollments.

More to follow. But for now, let me leave you with this link chock-full of Spring-worthy affirmations from Louise Hay.

o, hai, 2016! (part 1... whoops)

2016-03-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

Hello. Happy New Year! Happy New Moon Solar Eclipse week! Haha. Pretty soon, it'd be happy Spring Equinox! I know I've been gone for so long, gomen nasai, & I got caught up with certifying people after promoting so much what I've been doing ever since my last post here. Thankfully, I've certified 10 Basic ThetaHealing® Practitioners, 4 Advanced, & 2 out of the whoe roster have successfully completed the Manifesting & Abundance course. Everybody else got loaded with awesome progress right after the Basic class! I'm so happy for that. & I'm also preparing to teach Dig Deeper, the newest ThetaHealing® elective & new pre-requisite for World Relations, which really opened me up to the modality & my overall spirituality. I took that in Japan last year, & it was amazing to be there in Tokyo, where it so felt like Home. Anyway, I can't wait to pool in my first class for that, which will be super-fun, especially with all the new things I have to share since my DNA3 Practitioner certification last November 2015 (which led to my launching of my new sub-brand Soul Re-Alignment With Abbee) & Soul Mate Practitioner course 2nd review! I also ended up getting attuned at the last minute as a new Divine Alchemy Healing Practitioner during the last Sunday of February this year. Yowza. So it's said that DAH Practitioners are pretty much Reiki masters, too, once attuned. Oh, wow. Thanks so much, Rei!

(Btw, DAH has 2 Monday meditation gatherings along BGC, & their weekly Thursday evening meditations along the outskirts of the Makati CBD. You are most welcome to attend, & the suggested energy exchange rate is only 300php.)

But while I'm preparing to teach again, a new Basic ThetaHealing® class this weekend, starting Friday, March 11th, from 2pm-8pm (9pm the latest, but lessee...) until Sunday, March 13th; I'm taking a short break, for my Inner Child (with whom I've been reacquainted so much ever since coming back from my trip to Tokyo last year), & She needs me. But if anyone's interested to join, I can accommodate up to 3-4 people more! Reviewers welcome, of course!

Anyway, here's a blog post (for now) I found by Amy B. Scher, author of the new How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can. This is dedicated to my Inner Child, & to all my new students who are still fumbling to put their new ThetaHealing® experiences to practice. Self-healing is wonderful, but here's a wonderful guide on how to do it, & I honestly want everyone to take it easy while starting out!

I'll come back in a bit to explain further what I'm up to, especially regarding my upcoming class, & my new rates as well as new schedule. For now, hit me up! Visit me on Facebook & PM me! Or participate in my FREE QUICK ONLINE TAROT READING sprees there! I've a new one coming up in a bit, in honor of this week's New Moon. I'm giving them away every New Moon or Full Moon now, & when a (Philippine) holiday comes up. Or whenever else my mood strikes. So stay tuned! (Especially when you're a prospective client, referred here by this particular online forum! Get a quick reading before seeing me! Yeah? & as a special thanks to people who've referred me via FN, you get a surprise on your next visit!)

Enjoy, & read carefully this guide from Amy B. Scher! ^_^;

Do you know self-healing is the most powerful kind of healing? Self-healing sends signals to our body that we have power over our own bodies and lives. Our bodies are designed to heal themselves and when we connect with that primal ability, all kinds of awesome things can happen. My life (and health!) completely changed when I started depending less on doctors and practitioners and more on me.

Here are my 5 secrets of self-healing.

Find What Resonates with You
When I was first learning about healing, I read countless books and eventually did several professional training programs to conquer the subject of energy therapy. It becomes very easy to get caught up in what others say about different techniques and modalities. But really, that doesn’t matter. Working with techniques that you are drawn to will have the biggest positive impact on you. When you feel a pull toward something, that’s a little something called your intuition trying to lead you right to where you need to go. Hearing what’s been the best for someone else might give you ideas to explore, but if you get too attached to the path of another, it can detract from your own healing.

Your healing path will be a unique one, so don’t feel obligated to read every book and learn every modality; just jump in and try what resonates with you. It’s okay to leave all the rest behind. By focusing your energy toward something that feels good to you, you will find also what also works best for you.
Don’t Overdo It
Although healing miracles abound, healing is not always a super-fast process. Just because you know a new technique doesn’t mean you should use it all day long (even though I totally know the temptation). There really is “too much” of a good thing. With energy work, there is often a “processing” that happens as that energy moves out of our field, and until that happens, we might not feel the full shift or improvement. Putting your body under the stress of doing more and more can be counter-effective.

I can’t say enough for giving your body time and space to allow the healing process to happen. Otherwise, you will only create stress on your body—and that’s not the result you are aiming for, right?
Use Your Intuition
I learned this early on, and it’s priceless. When learning techniques, there will always be explicit instructions. That’s because that’s the only way these things can be taught. However, using your own intuition to alter and revise techniques can make them even more beneficial for you. You may be called to perform a technique in a slightly different way. That’s likely because your mind or body knows that it might work for you better that way. The types of deviations I used in my own healing include things like using my right hand instead of my left hand, holding a pose or technique longer or shorter than stipulated, skipping a certain part of an exercise, and more. All of these things are okay and you should give yourself permission to do them. You might just end up creating something new that way!

I don’t think there is a single technique I use with myself or my clients that’s exactly how it was taught to me, and I really believe my personal twists make it that much more effective.
Don’t Try to Fix Everyone
Once we figure out we actually do have the power to heal ourselves, we often feel the pressure to want to fix everyone. You might even feel a heavy sense of responsibility to help your loved ones. Sharing what you know with others is awesome, but taking on a whole new job is not a good idea. This is very stressful to your body, especially if you’re not well yourself. If you are still struggling with emotional or physical imbalances, you might resonate too much with other people’s imbalances, which can exacerbate your own. I’ve heard this phenomenon over and over again from practitioners who are suffering from chronic illness: energetically, they match right up with their clients and start picking up on their symptoms. Energy follows a flow, and you need someone to come in with strong stable energy to really raise the vibration. If two people are of a low vibration, it’s not the optimal healing environment for either of you.
Ask for Help When You’re Stuck
There is a good reason to ask for help when you’re stuck, and it’s not because self-healing doesn’t work. It’s simply because a professional has seen hundreds of clients and you’ve only had experience with … well, you. Practitioners who do this all day long have seen patterns and different issues emerge, which gives us an advantage—we can often quickly see what you can’t. Not only that, but this is the best way to learn. I learned so much through my own instructor. I was able to see how she unraveled issues, what she did when we got stuck, and hear lots of stories that resonated with me, which gave me new ideas for my own healing.

Now that you know these five secrets, put them into practice. Start seeing what you feel called to, learn it (but put your twist on it), and focus on allowing your mind-body to do the rest. Happy healing!

look what the Easter Bunny dragged in

2015-04-06T05:23:00.001+08:00

I had a most eventful year since my last post, in the sense that I've unbelievably cried so much about so many things, & felt like I was at a total loss. As usual, I don't know exactly where to begin, but I'm glad to say that I've achieved much since February this year.

Right now, I'm happy to say that I'm already a certified Basic & Advanced DNA2 Instructor. That means, if anybody wants to take ThetaHealing® courses, they can do it with me. I'll be offering my very first Basic DNA2 class starting May 15, & I'll only be taking in up to 6 students at the most per batch. I have 4 more slots open, so if you're interested, you can email me here. I'll also be offering Manifesting & Abundance after that time, so this program should be wonderful to learn.

I understand the need for one-on-one coaching, so these classes can be availed as that, but those who get certified in this fashion will have to attend regular practice sessions with my other groups.

It was a crazy journey I had to go through all the way to Israel for the Instructor courses, & I've no regrets. I was forced to clear a lot of my other insecurities on the way to Tel Aviv from Bangkok, & I was so exhausted, but the Creator of All That Is did not forsake me. I met a few friends & it was so wonderful to finally meet Vianna & her husband/VP Guy, who gave me her astrological information when I had to confirm what her Moon sign is. I love it how she talks about astrology in class, being a proud Capricorn & Scorpio Rising that she was, & I've felt so validated with my love for astrology. "Ahhh, astrologists saved my life," she says, &, "Ooh, Aquarius Rising, no wonder you're all about looking into the future," when I had to share with her my Ascendant, haha. If only we had more time to talk. Maybe someday, once I'm ready for my ThetaHealing® Masters. For now, I have to focus on making the technique work so much more for me, as I deepen my relationship with the Universe & myself (which is so much harder than it sounds). But one thing's for sure, when I got there, I realized I was already quite an advanced student, yay, & ended up being an advanced teacher in our class demos. I ended up "teaching" the basics again of Digging & Belief Work, & how to do Feeling Downloads properly, which surprisingly helped a lot of my classmates (now co-teachers) back then. That made me happy, as my practice back here in Manila helped so much, then, but that also made me feel a bit miserable. Being the only Filipina in class, who spoke English more fluently than everybody else (which is understandable, because everybody else was either Hebrew, Spanish, Romanian, Russian, Japanese, or Turkish), who was in denial of the winter season (& refused to layer up), & who didn't even feel like she was Filipina enough (& I was matched with a Japanese woman friend who also didn't feel like being Japanese, as she studied in London & now Adelaide), it was jarring for me to be there. I would only be consoled when I'd meet Jewish New Yorkers staying in my hotel, or pretty young Russian immigrants manning the boutiques of clothes I'd find myself in, because they spoke English the way I'm used to, & I never felt shunned because of how different I was to everyone else. But everyone was nice to me, don't get me wrong. I just really felt isolated & weird. Maybe "exotic," as my then-classmates in my World Relations class-now Certificate of Science holder (& elective review teacher) would say, but it still felt disarming & I horribly wanted to go back home, especially when it snowed in Jerusalem while I was there & I couldn't go swimming. I wanted to be back for the Rainbow Children Instructor course the following month but I realized I had to prioritize World Relations Instructors before anything else. After that, I can pretty much do anything to follow up on my Masters.

I know I'll be back in Israel & I'll treasure all the memories I've had there with the people (more like, angels) who've been so kind to me. Especially my funbassador, who would explain to me everything kosher, who brought us to Tel Aviv, & who drove me to the train station on the way back to the airport on my last day, after we hung out for a long lunch at Herbert Samuel. She's well-traveled & funny as hell, & loves food as much as I do. She would also clarify the things I picked up here & there from what I've learned about Jewish mysticism, & I love how she's spelled out my name in Hebrew. I've fallen in love with Herzliya, & I can't wait to check out Eilat. I'll never be able to speak or read Hebrew just like that anytime soon, & I'll still have to be mindful of Israeli customs & tradition, but if anything, I'm definitely coming back for the banana mimosas at Benedict & the spectacular coastal view of Cassiopeia.

For now, I've decided to become more serious with Pranayama whenever I can at least every week. I went back to yoga last March, & my private class was so much better than what I had 2 years ago. It wasn't easy, as I'm my heaviest to date & I really don't do anything much, except bike or swim for 20-30 minutes (or iceskate for 45) at least once a week, & walk as much as I can everyday. But it makes a huge difference knowing how to do energy work while working out, & I'm happy I've learned all these alternative healing techniques before coming back to yoga. Otherwise, I would've broken down like the last time. Thank God for my new private teacher, despite his being Aries, haha. I can't wait to do this more often as days progress. I miss being sportier than what I am now, & I intend to not hurt myself while I'm at it.

I'm also in the process of completing my Floralive Abundant Life series for myself (finally down to #3 & #4), to think I started this around my birthday month last year. I'm complementing it with the Door To Change essence & the new For Love formula, & I can't wait for more amazing results. I have to thank the fabulous Biyaya Ni Bathala brand for locally supplying these flower essences for me!

Anyway, I'll cut this short & tell you that my next available reading/healing sessions round will be on April 23rd, Thursday, GMT +8. Maybe I can accommodate a few people later today (April 6th) come sundown. But after that, I'll only be available online starting Wednesday evening. I can't wait for Jupiter to turn finally direct by then, because it's my Jupiter return, after all, & I gotta make the most out of it. If you want to find out what your power dates are, among other things, to help guide you through this month, come sit down with me. I'd love to be of help & I can't wait to share more of my reflections this year! I hope your Easter Sunday was happy!

a day in the life of this New Age Grrl begins

2015-01-27T17:16:00.001+08:00

Today is the last week (& Tuesday) of the first month of the New Year, & we're smack-dab in the middle of a Mercury retrograde (transiting my Ascendant, no less) & a Jupiter retrograde (no wonder my Jupiter return doesn't feel so breezy). But I'm going to be updating, nevertheless, so hello again, everybody. The Moon is in Taurus again now, which I love, so that makes me productive & relaxed at the same time, just before I get more emo & domesticated before it slips into Gemini then finally into my Lunar sign Cancer. I'll be dealing with a lot of home-related matters this weekend until before the first weekend of next month, which means I won't be available for face-to-face sessions until February 7th, 3pm-8pm (for select clients only).

A lot of things has truly changed with me. Today actually marks the last day of my Basic DNA2 class 2 years ago, when I have discovered ThetaHealing®, & I'm still making use of it in my life. It isn't easy changing so rapidly, & I had to employ other methods to help stabilize me: Reiki, Bowen therapy, flower essences (both Bach & FlorAlive), & Millennium Method™ (which I've managed to complete in less than a year last year, & it was a most costly but important personal journey... no regrets). Right now, I only swear by ThetaHealing®, Sacred Activations (founded by a ThetaHealing® Certificate of Science holder), Millennium Method™, flower essences, & Reiki. I only practise ThetaHealing® & Millennium Method™ for now, along with my Tarot readings, & I'm happy with the results these have given me & my clients. Especially my clients. Like my Client of the Year for 2014 just got engaged on NYE, & I have a budding teenage ThetaHealer® client who's sworn to help heal her family & friends drastically, while at the same time who's meant to really be in the limelight as a young beauty queen + global ambassador. I'm so proud. I love breakthroughs.

I'm happy for all my clients who've shifted in one way or another — manifesting a better car than what they've expected, gained more money, landed a better job, traveled when they hardly believed they actually could (& so much more), snagged bigger commissions, gained more confidence for school/work, glowed in better health (especially after reporting to be sleeping so much more soundly), acquired more energy to do the things they love, & finally becoming more in touch with their spirituality (one my best news in my book). Little miracles in the physical health department happened, too, especially remotely — like my client who healed from chickenpox; then another client who healed from some weird inexplicable water retention which targeted her joints, but after my working on her, it was gone the next day, much to her doctors' surprise; then another finally off his braces & PTSD & the rest of his pubescent problems; & a client who got physically 'assaulted' but she recovered IMMEDIATELY after one session; & even my brother who fell off while skating, whose pain (thankfully, only that, nothing else) went away quickly (but as a doting older sister, I had to follow it up with some organic cooling leg & foot gel).

I already knew I had to be a healer in one way or another (actually, dreaded) when I had to monitor his eventual heart (after looking through his chakras) while he was being rushed from one hospital to another for poisoning a few years back, on our Mars return, just after our birthday month. (He's a Virgo, though, Pisces Rising — while you all should know I'm a Libra, Aquarius Rising.) I thank the Creator that he's okay, but we still have a long way to go.

Actually, I really was having a huge issue about other clients calling me a "healer" because I had a friend-turned-client-turned-colleague who asked me about her own healer journey, & I'm honored to be part of that, as she healed me, too, at first with Reiki. I mean, my point was, ME? Seriously? But here we are. I did obsess about health even if I was only 6 years old with all the medical books lying around the house & my more-frequent-than-normal trips to the infirmary & all the vaccinations I got subjected to (& I still fucking hate syringes!) I do have medical practitioners in my (estranged) family (e.g., an actual oncologist, a pharmacist, a bunch of nurses). & I still have posts lying around here about my Saturn return in finicky, obsessive Virgo describing how I juggled to get balanced in that department. & I did handle so many crazy health readings via Tarot alone. I even would catch myself telling my doctor or nurse clients mid-reading that, "Wait, I'm not a doctor, so I shouldn't be telling you (insert either a diagnosis or a suggested prescription here), but you can see that this particular case makes sense, yes?" WTH, right? Again, alternative healing methods are just complementary to what we have per traditional medicine. & you should still consult your doctor(s) to track your progress.

I only get Reiki & Sacred Activations from other practitioners. You can ask me about them in private. Actually, I'm posting more now here to be able to feature them soon. But for now I'm learning to hone my present Tools to use on myself, & I'm happy to grow more trust in the Source-Of-All-That-Is as I do it. I fully acknowledge that I can't do it alone, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be lax & let others do all the work (unless it's clearing my space via a housekeeper or a professional organizer, whoops). Healing is a lovely process, & it's a dynamic two-way street. At least now I'm safe to let go, after much discernment.

I still want to be able to talk more about my personal life as I update more here, as part of my healing journey. You'll read more about my silly whims, & more of the reasons why I need to undergo healing myself. Right now I'm just too happy to be more Awakened & Integrated. Perfect timing, astrologically-speaking, honestly, & I can't wait to live my life the way I really want it to, while inspiring more young people (inadvertently, more like, haha) to do the same.

To summarize what else I do aside from give Tarot readings (with my usual astrology & feng shui advice), for your reference:

-ThetaHealing®
a) World Relations (May 2014)
b) Family Ties (Jan 2014)
c) Soul Mate (Dec 2013 - reviewed in Nov 2014)
d) Game of Life (Jul 2013)
e) Plant Communication (LOL) - (Mar 2014)
f) RHYTHM (Mar 2013)
g) Intuitive Anatomy (Apr 2013)

**UPDATE!**
h) Basic DNA2 Instructors (Feb 2015) - Herzliya, Israel
i) Advanced DNA2 Instructors (Feb 2015) - Herzliya, Israel
j) Manifesting & Abundance Instructors (May 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
k) Dig Deeper Practitioners (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
l) Dig Deeper Instructors (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
m) Think What You Think (Apr 2015) - Tokyo, Japan
n) DNA3 (Nov 2015) - BGC, Philippines

-Crystal Layout Past-Life Regression
a) Basic - Remote Viewing (Sep 2013)
b) Advanced - Soul Travel (Dec 2013)

-Millennium Method™
a) Relationships module (Mar 2014)
b) Kids module (Mar 2014)
c) Biotoxins (Mar 2014)
d) Empowerment (May 2014) - Wan Chai, Hong Kong
e) Medical Intuitive (May 2014)
f) Module 1 - Physical (Oct 2014)
g) Module 2 - Esoteric (Oct 2014)
h) Module 3 - Psychoemotional (Oct 2014)
i) Module 4 - Mastery (Oct 2014)

To celebrate, I will be giving specials to people who've stumbled upon this blog via this list that people I keep mentioning about, also to those who've Liked my Facebook page, & you get more specials if you become a regular, especially when you become my next Client of The Year. 2015 is a pivotal time, why not take advantage of it? :D (My silly declaration / TY gift is valid only until February 9, 2015, 9pm, GMT+8; which should be my parents' would've-been-42nd anniversary, btw.)

I would love to talk about each & every class I took in detail, but I'll take it easy on you today. For now, what I can say is, my most favorite class would be World Relations, because that just blew me away...

& to end this post, for now, here's what my most stubborn client in the last 2-something years has just told me, "I'm able to trust myself more now, thanks to you."

I *am* floored. I'm happy to be able to trust myself more now, too. ♥ ♥ ♥

#adayinthelifeofthisNewAgeGrrl

(updated on May 21, 2015; 3:06 AM, GMT +8)

what I aim to proclaim (& finally do) everyday from now on

2014-06-01T08:33:00.003+08:00

10 Affirmations to Enhance Your Health

These affirmations have been helping me a lot ever since I became a ThetaHealer®.

1. My immune system is working 100% well.

2. I feel energized, like I can get up and do anything and everything. This feels very wonderful.

3. My chakras are balanced and harmonized. I am always breathing deeply. My body is always detoxing properly.

4. I am exercising properly and found something that I really enjoy. I choose nutritious food to nourish my body. I feel incredible and am so happy to be alive. I have so much vitality. My health is amazing.

5. I am calm and at ease. My body is perfectly comfortable and my mind is always relaxed. I always feel great and have nothing to worry about. I fear nothing. I feel peaceful and my body reflects that.

6. I can do anything! My body is strong! My mind is strong! My outlook is positive.
I am prospering and in good health. All systems in my body work perfectly.

7. All cells vibrate with love and light. I let go of the past, and easily move forward.
I am healthy, strong, and surrounded by love.

8. My health is an inspiration to many. I am enjoying life. I am living a long, love-filled life.

9. Life is fantastic.

10. I live in a healthy environment, free of stress, and abundant in loving relationships.
I love life. I am enlightened & respected.

From OM Times (slightly edited).

back in the game

2013-12-10T02:09:00.003+08:00

Today is the second Monday of the last month of the year, just a couple of hours before another day unfolds, hehe. Hello again, everyone.

I have been gone for so long. Didn't realize 2013 would be this insanely busy. But this has been a most healing year for me, & believe me, I've tried to rush through it, but I've learned it's better to pace myself; to allow my body, mind, heart, & soul to recover.

I've met a lot of delightful new clients this year, for starters. I play favorites, even if that doesn't sound so savory, depending on their willingness to cooperate, their eagerness to learn, their generosity, their intelligence, even. Especially intelligence. I've always worked with strong personalities. I love it when they're most wonderful company. They inspire me to strive better, to aim for accuracy in my readings & healing sessions everytime, to become larger than life (not physique-wise, please, of course, haha). If they keep coming back (though again, I do NOT encourage codependency), I look for ways to reward them. & I'm glad to re-announce my humble specials for my regulars.

For every 3 paying referrals within the year, I will give a complimentary 30-minute reading online, either on a birthday or a special holiday (working days such as Valentine's, included). So, yes, the more referrals, the more consultations you get. You get a ThetaHealing® session, too, depending on your needs & preference. Especially when your birthday falls on an actual holiday.

You also get to have the chance to be my esteemed Client of The Year, where you'll get humble little goodies such as wellness products I personally love (I gave facial GCs, lip balm, body butter, & sanitizers the last time), an astrology book (or two), & yes, complimentary services. Plus you get to be my priority in messaging or calling. I'll definitely throw in more surprises soon. My Client of The Year tradition started 3 years ago. The first ever was the Client of The Year for 2 years running. I still love her to bits. Capricorn Sun, Leo Moon, Libra Rising.

The second one, from last year, was a young Aquarian, with also a Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising. She also tried ThetaHealing®for herself, & swears by it, even if she, too, has a long way to go, like I do. She was always thoughtful. I will never forget her because she'd give me super-cool gifts (Kimmidoll keychains, jasmine massage oil, something my favorite bubble bath bar line, remembrances from her Vietnam trip, other accessories) & recommendations.

Now the bet for this year is a lovely Taurus girl who just survived her first Saturn return. Gemini Moon, Libra Rising. My new meditation series is partly inspired by her. Let's see what happens.

I also have a young Sagittarian male client whom I always reward after our 6-month-long progress. I already gave him a tiger's eye bracelet (very relevant for his journey), a few free readings with various decks, & extended time.

& for everyone else who've made referrals to me out of sheer thoughtfulness but haven't made the mark yet for this year's offering from me, will also be remembered. Because I love you guys. Thank you for your trust! There's always my Facebook Page for quick one-card readings that you guys can indulge in, depending on the mechanics du jour, that have churned out pretty accurate readings by themselves, & yes, little random tokens that I hand out whenever least expected. ;)

I do my best to give back, even if sometimes I find myself depleted of anything to give, & I know that I've been always super-generous in every session I have, anyway. As much as possible, I don't withhold answers; I explain things very patiently, ad nauseam; I don't really bill down to the last minute. Though, please understand if I have to charge my rate by the hour, especially when there are people waiting for their turn.

But seriously, I can't believe how much progress I've made at this point in time, until I meet clients again whom I haven't heard from in a year or so. It makes me think how painstaking my ThetaHealing® classes were. They're just as surprised as I am with how "far" I've gone in this journey. So far I've received certification for Game of Life (pretty much life-coaching, for spiritual people such as myself to become more grounded & succeed in temporal life like everyone else can & does), & RHYTHM (weight management, even if I haven't really bust a move on my body yet, hehe). I also took up basic past-life regression via a crystal layout, & I can't wait for the advanced class in 2 weeks. I know people keep asking me about that before, to which I replied, I wouldn't be able to do that just yet, until I'm really sure I can handle it. But tapping into past lives is so much easier now, especially with ThetaHealing®. Jeezus, so trippy. & I have people confirming them past lives I've seen, to boot!

My life has changed so much because after all my attempts to keep my Tarot practice grounded, to the point of more as an intellectual pursuit, instead of bordering on hoodoo/woo-woo/juju, I've ended up embracing that side of it, even excelling at working with it, even! HAHA. What. But like I always say, only when it is meant to be worked on can I go ahead with it, to paraphrase Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist. & even before I got comfortable with the idea of me being a "healer," some of my clients already declare me being a healer, especially with how I can zoom in on their health via readings with much precision. & how I've been struggling to figure out to heal myself through alternative means. Instead of me being alarmed with all this further, I've decided to explore it, & yay, I'm actually a full-fledged conduit now. I'm just the facilitator, though. Just tapping into the Source of All That Is to allow it to heal others. Just witnessing how it's all happening. Just guiding everyone through the process. & the rest is up to them, whether they wish to really embrace recovery or not.

Just exactly what I do with my Tarot readings. I just witness things unfold. I just facilitate the actual reading, upon the request of the seeker/questioner/querent/client. I just guide them with the best to my knowledge, or with whatever else divinely inspired comes up, how to go through with things in their life at the time of reading. I cannot really impose myself on them. I don't want to, either. ThetaHealing® is helping me to become a better reader, & I'm doing my best to incorporate that modality into my readings, & vice versa. I am thankful for my one-stop-shop wellness center for introducing ThetaHealing® & making all this possible. Yay. I missed out on at least a couple of very important courses, though, like Diseases & Disorders as well as DNA3 this year, but there's always next year. & I'm praying I'd get to teach this as well soon. I am expecting that by the end of 2013 I'm more at peace, more energized, more determined, & more abundant with blessings. I'm still really managing how to become so. The process of changing, in line with Pluto in Capricorn & Uranus in Aries (squaring off, even, ugh), is painful but definitely worth it. I can't wait to manifest so much more wonderful experiences, trips, & things, not just Tarot decks. Got a couple of new finds, like the Feng Shui deck by the Connolly duo, & the Celestial deck, which was so much prettier than expected!

Speaking of one of my clients calling me a healer long before I've realized I could actually be one, her delightful Pisces self (Virgo Rising) has invited me to conduct workshops & sessions in her spa somewhere up North. I will be checking it out tomorrow, & trying out some of her services there, since I'm a spa junkie, anyway, even if I don't look it, hehe. I am happy that this is the case, & I am hoping for other invites. I'll be accommodating, as much as my schedule permits. Right now I'm really swamped with Pluto (& Venus! UGH) issues, transiting my solar 4th House. Home repairs are a doozy & I'm itching to have everything revamped before the holidays, when the next Venus retrograde rolls in. But of course I have to pace myself. Everything's just a bit cumbersome now, as we speak, but my brother, housekeeper, my dog, & I are coping.

Looks like this post has successfully answered all these questions I found at the last minute somewhere online to help me re-evaluate my 2013:

How has your life improved in the last twelve months?
What do you do easily now that you once thought was impossible?
What have you accomplished this year that you couldn't have accomplished three years ago?
What is one outcome you experienced this year that would have been inconceivable before?
What are your results this year, compared to your results last year at this time?

So what about you? Do you want help in keeping tabs with your progress? Do you want more progress in life, too? What are your thoughts? If you want help, that's what I'm here for! There are many other avenues of help, though. I will be more than happy to make my own referrals here! & I'm still very grateful to everyone who has helped me along the way, especially this year. I've lost so much & gained so much at the same time. Share away at the tiny comments section, & you might just get a free quick one-card reading from me here!

Please also stay tuned for my big blog revamp. Can't wait!

because I'm tired of saying sorry for my life

2013-05-19T09:22:00.000+08:00

ThoughtCatalog.com FTW! My thoughts exactly right here.

1. Eating the last piece of bacon.

2. Telling someone how you feel.

5. Moving to advance your career.

6. Not returning a text sent past midnight.

7. Knowing the lyrics to Paris Hilton's "Nothing in This World" song.

9. Responding to emails too quickly.

10. Being proactive.

11. Posting articles that make people mad on Facebook.

12. Speaking in a [dopey] French accent when saying French words.

13. Working too much.

14. Going on a date, not paying for it, and not calling back.

15. Openly crushing on people you may never meet.

16. Wanting to make more money, and then doing it.

17. Caring too much.

18. Not having sex as much as people expect or want.

19. Holding people accountable.

20. Yelling when you want to yell.

23. Throwing paint on a canvas and calling it ‘art.’

28. Wanting to love someone, and being scared to tell them.

29. Having brunch on Sunday and then going to bed afterwards.

32. Making a mistake and not learning from it the first time.

33. Still being weird about your parents’ [falling-out].

34. Only getting your news from Twitter. [Or Facebook.]

35. Being hung-over.

36. Screening your family’s calls and later saying, “I was really busy!”

37. Loving when you want to love, and not loving when you don’t care to.

What Evolved Women Want

2013-05-11T18:49:00.002+08:00

Ooh, fancy that. I just saw this on Facebook, & I totally agree. I could've written this piece myself, but well, Life's got me entangled with other things.

10 Signs He's An Evolved Man

1. He listens to and respects women: A gentleman never refers to ANY woman with defamatory language, because he has class.

2. He has the courage to ask for help and his ego is under control. He's secure enough to do personal work with the support of those who can help him heal childhood trauma.

3. He is guided by a purpose and sound personal belief system. His decisions are based on a sense that something greater than his individuality exists.

4. He mentors youth because he recognizes the responsibility to share the wisdom of experience. As a father, a coach, a teacher or leader in the community he gives back.

5. His worth is determined by what he does, not what he owns. He looks after his financial responsibilities, but the lives he touches matter more than the buildings or businesses he builds.

6. He challenges himself and constantly seeks opportunities to develop his mind. His goal is not to win, but to grow.

7. Sex isn't something he gets, but the result of the trust and connection his energy creates. He is not led by a 'need', and he doesn't wait to be led. He's absolute class in public and maintains discretion about his ravishing activities in private.

8. He lives without reservation and nothing to hide. His authentic life is enough that the praise about him happens when others are talking, not self-aggrandizement.

9. He looks for ways to make his world bigger, by developing friendships, travel and expanding his circles of influence to include people with different backgrounds and beliefs.

10. All things flow outward from his purpose. He is guided by a clear sense of who he is and while his vision of what he's here to do may be audacious, it never comes across with arrogance.

Wunderbar. May we have more evolved gentlemen around.

This reminds me of a new Virgo male client whom I had to really laud for being secure enough to 1) wear pink & still be all macho, haha; 2) move on with his life, even if it means having to really start over; 3) admit he needs help, even to the point of resorting to divination + ThetaHealing®.

I also want to give 'mad props' to my Scorpio homie whom I've been friends with ever since my birthday weekend last year, for also being openminded enough to try & get healed. I wish him all the best, that he may finally get the direction he so needs.

Quite ironic that I'm posting this on Mother's Day. Then again, maybe all the more timely to do. Happy weekend, everyone. Will throw another one-card special on my Page to celebrate.

In other news, I'm already a certified ThetaHealing® Medical Intuitive, & I still have a long way to go. I really couldn't have done it without my kind classmates who've worked on me in class. Beautiful souls, I swear. Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone. Good luck to all of us. Will be writing more about my experience in a bit.

making time for QUICK updates

2013-03-22T04:17:00.001+08:00

Yay, I'm back! I can't believe this will have to be my very first post here for 2013. Anyway, I'm really swamped with stuff to do that I hardly even have time to fix my room anymore, but I've promised to myself that this Holy Week will be THAT time for it, & thank God I've even found reinforcements (FINALLY!)

I really have to make sure all my Tarot decks & New Age (astrology, feng shui, what-have-you) books are already in order by then, for easier retrieval, among other things. God bless my babies. Thank you, Universe, for letting me have them.

BTW, a dear return client (Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon & Mars, Libra Rising) actually gave me a copy of my beloved Tarot of The Magical Forest earlier this year, & I really thank her for her generosity. I gave her an Angel Aura quartz bracelet in return, & it looks like she's becoming more spiritual as we speak. I'm really happy for her.

& finally I have a Mage: The Ascension deck in possession, after more than 2 years of getting entranced with it. That was the very first deck that gave me quite an accurate reading, with just 10-11 cards, & I will never forget the 8 of Wands card there, that sharply illustrates how my life is now with ThetaHealing®. The owner of that deck's last message to me via SMS was, "Remember who you are." I finally replied, "Thank you, I now remember who & what I am," & he said, "Stay Awake." I hope all is well with him, even if we don't really speak to each other anymore, even if I see him around at least twice a month. I am still floored how I got such a rare deck still sealed from a pure, loving source, & I still get pretty amazing results with it. It's still a very dark, scary deck despite how it looks more welcoming now, but I'm really having fun everytime I see the Knight of Swords there (aka the Knight of Dynamism), & I'm reminded of my newfound fascination with Lord Shiva, hehe. It's just funny how me & my fun double Aquarian protege (who also owns this deck & was bewildered to find out I already had my own, haha) were talking about Shiva on a Full Moon (my Lunar return) last December, a month before I received my deck in the mail:

Me: If I have Kali & Shiva as my inner deities, then WHY THE HELL do I still look like this?!
N: Because the Universe loves irony.

WTH. Fine. It sure does. :P

& I really should talk more about ThetaHealing® in detail, but I'll need more time, energy, & space. For now, let me just tell you that I'm finally a certified Basic DNA2, Advanced DNA2, & even a [R][H][Y][T][H][M] Practitioner, & our Manifesting Abundance module's coming up this weekend. I'm still worrying how I'm going to sign up for Intuitive Anatomy this April, but I should decide by early next week. But I'm happy how FINALLY my uh, healing capabilities are FULLY validated, & ThetaHealing® makes my readings so much more accurate (& so much more EXHAUSTING, mind you). I'm really overwhelmed with all the friends that I've made; the things I've manifested (like that One Billion Rising movement, for starters, because I'm sick & tired of misogyny) & foreseen (look at the Death card from the RWS deck & you'll know what exactly I saw, among other things in other ways); the new knowledge I'm acquiring (which leads to a whole buncha new books to finish that end up cluttering my space, LOL); & the energy this whole shebang is requiring of me. I've accomplished quite a number of distance healings for friends & clients, & OMG I got fantastic results. I'm still working on my dog, my brother, my surly housekeeper in her late 50's, & MYSELF, but I'm getting there. Should you wish to try it with me, just remember to keep an open mind, & bear with me as we go along. For now I can say it's a very good complement to psychotherapy, but this can do so much more than just that. Like in a friend's case, chickenpox, would you believe? :D It also would take care of my backaches, but I still need to do something about my weird knee pains. (& yes, supplements will still be a huge part of the whole program... don't ditch your traditional medicine just yet!)

My reawakening via ThetaHealing® can be aptly described by this:

This dazzling piece is called "Blossoming," drawn by one of my favorite local artists + clients Katrina Pallon (Sagittarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Aries Rising, LOL, & I must mention her brooding Mercury in Scorpio & piquant Venus in Aquarius in her 8th House, which would explain that underlying sinister sensuality in most of her works) during her Venus return (yes, post-Ascension, which means it IS a very exciting & potent time for her, ahem) this year. I am hoping to have a replica of her very gorgeous "Oiran in Triangles" later this year, & experience her Tarot-inspired pieces while I'm at it. I was supposed to get that very painting before it was bought by someone else, as a culmination to Saturn transiting my Sun sign Libra (lest you forget), but that period became so difficult that I had to postpone my claiming it indefinitely. Oh, well. It's still funny to think how I met her a couple of years back via her "Crane Wife," & I ran excitedly to her (rather idiotically, actually, holy crap) with The Sun card from my Sacred Rose deck in one hand & the Queen of Cups card from my Chinese deck in the other. Come to think of it, those 2 cards did have a blaring message for her, aside from depict her & her works very accurately. Yay.

Indeed, ThetaHealing® has left me working with white & pink lotuses like crazy this year, so I'll have my logo redesigned with one or so, to honor my uhm, re-glorified Sacred Feminine (eep).

ThetaHealing® actually helped me survive commemorating my dad's 5th death anniversary last March 11th & my late kid sister's birthday last March 16th. I would've gone completely crazy, but thank God I didn't. I was able to enjoy a few meals out with my brother as a result, especially that complimentary dinner at this new joint paying lovely tribute to native fare with a sweet global twist for our mother's 66th birthday the other night, & we also got to check out an art fair in one of the hippest parks in the metro, which my Painting major late sister would've liked very much. I hope I do well all throughout this month, & until my certification for Intuitive Anatomy (dear God, please help me), & hell, throughout the rest of the year, especially my next Jupiter return (whoopeedoo) until the end of my days (lessee if I finally get to live past at least my 2nd Saturn return!) Last year was crazy, bordering on self-destructive, like you have no idea how. Lessee if this year will be so much more forgiving, considering Saturn is now highlighting my natal 8th-10th Houses, hehe, conjunct my Venus & Mars, jeezus. Remind me to make a yearly forecast for myself again STAT via my Tarot cards.

Anyway, I'll also be celebrating my 8th anniversary for my brand, & with that said, I'm giving away further quick card readings online on my Facebook Page. If you haven't Liked me yet there, please do. Remember, my offer ONLY applies for the time specified, on that post where it would be announced, & for people who actually have subscribed to my Page. I just gave away readings earlier, so I'll be having another round by next week, Holy Week-ish. Probably Black Saturday, who knows? It's usually one of my favorite days of the year. Stay tuned, as I could offer quick readings for up to 13 people in an hour's time. Or even 21 (+8), hehe. Whatever. I like keeping people on their toes, as it's all part of the fun.

If you're still up for Tarot readings face-to-face along the Makati CBD, I'm available next Monday, March 25th, from 11:30am-3:00pm. Email me at sp.lovecraft[at]gmail[dot]com for your schedule. If I decide to take up Intuitive Anatomy right after Easter Sunday, my next schedule should be on Tuesday, April 23rd, 10am-6pm. Let me know, & have patience with me. I have already increased my rates by more than 20% since last year, especially now that I'm doing ThetaHealing®, so please be advised. (You get more than what you're paying for, anyway, like your astrology explained, one free follow-up answer via email or FB, angel/crystal/color therapy, & feng shui advice!) But I'm working on a loyalty program for return clients, which should include a free 30-minute birthday/holiday (whichever comes first) reading online (via IM) for every 3 paying referrals. I'll keep you all posted, especially those already eligible for the offer. ♥

If you have any questions or comments, let me know here! I want to know who else is reading my posts. If you're brave enough, I can even give you your Tarot card for the day on the spot! :P

For now, let me leave you with an ardent young client's message to me via SMS a few hours ago:

"You're super blessed with your gifts & I'm sure a loooot of people appreciate it." --Anj

Thanks so much! I really hope so! Happy weekend, everyone! Have a very sweet 2013!

Venus conjunct Saturn, Mars conjunct Pluto

2012-12-01T10:10:00.000+08:00

Hello again. I'm back. It's the first day of the last month of the year & I want to make it count, even if I've been busy meeting new people & recovering from fatigue + stress since my last post. It's also my Venus return again, & this has yet to be the best one yet. I fell in love once more & I've never felt more alive deep down, despite feeling quite dead before & during my period. Now that my time of the month is over, I'm still having trouble bouncing back, & I keep forgetting I have sleeping pills at my disposal, but I'm glad I've been able to bond with my brother again after a long month of hardly nothing, except for some fleeting TV moments, while watching my favorite Adventure Time series & this special on Hitler on NatGeo.

I'm also getting a new Tarot deck that has been haunting me for 2 years now, also around the time of my Venus return. I'm actually very happy that I'm getting it from a loving, wise source, considering how dark the deck is, to begin with, especially when I encountered it for the first time, but it gave me such an insightful reading about myself & my future as a New Age grrl. I was supposed to have it earlier last month, but with Mercury going bonkers, I waited patiently for things to simmer down. I'm excited to get a hold of it this month. I'll let you all know what it is. My very first card from it was the 8 of Wands, & it felt wonderful seeing how that depiction was, describing my growth. I also got the Queen of Wands, who looked more like a flower child/hippie singing folk songs probably. You all know I listen to much heavier stuff at the end of the day. & then I got the 5 of Cups, reversed. My life has never been the same ever since. Then after another encounter with the same deck, this time from a different owner, I knew it was meant to be mine, too. I was described as a gorgeous Hierophant who looks more like the High Priestess, & can I just say that the Empress card looks exactly like my inner Venus (in Scorpio), only tamer & more foreboding?

Ever since the last Full Moon in Gemini, which felt more like a dark moon than anything, I've been keeping close to home, more to myself. I miss my new party friends, whom I can just hang out with openly, without being bombarded by astrology, Tarot, or dream interpretation questions, enjoying music & drinks & good food. But I'll be back. & I know I have to see my regular clients before Christmas. I'll try to schedule things for next week. The last Mercury retrograde was actually bad. I had to call off all my appointments & now for the life of me, I can't remember where I actually placed my fucking house keys. & my room's still a glorious mess. & my hair needs urgent TLC. But I'm fine. & I'm still mothering a happy smart female puppy. I have groceries to pick up in a bit, now that I'm temporarily the matriarch of my household. Ugh. I miss the beach sooo bad. But I need to take care of my home just a bit longer, so please bear with me.

Speaking of home, I'm being forced to look after my body all the more now, too. I scored a lot of pretty thingamajigs when Venus was in my sign Libra, but now that Venus is in Scorpio, I'm now on a desperate pricey move to make sure my skin clears (must end this whole blotched-face drama!) & my hair recovers. I'm exploring this whole big mall much closer to home & I daresay I'm enjoying a lot of great finds there, & I'm quite happy. I've even had my toenails repainted red, the only color (aside from black) that looks good on me & makes my feet look clean. People associate red negatively with something else, but I won't care anymore. Deal with it. It feels great to fall in love with myself & with Life all over again. October has been horrible, even early last month, when things were shaken here, no thanks to Saturn in Scorpio, but the last Venus-Saturn conjunct did prove to be magical (& sexy!) for me. I hope by the time my Venus return ends, I'll be really more of who & what I am supposed to be. I just want to lose all the weight I've gained in the last couple of years, but I'll just wait until tomorrow to get started all over again. I want more energy.

I hope all is well with you. If you have any questions about my future Tarot reading schedules within the Makati CBD, please email me at sp.lovecraft[at]gmail[dot]com anyway, so we can have things sorted out. I'd love to hear from you!

it's my blog 6th Solar return, so...

2012-10-16T05:03:00.000+08:00

Posting for my 6th blog anniversary's overdue. Took care of a lot of things at home. Anyway, to celebrate & make up for it, I'm offering my quick Tarot readings by email again this year at a discounted price! Feel free to buy from me now while the promo's piping hot! These are good until October 30, 2012. Please wait for up to 48 hours for a response. Rest assured your order will be delivered as soon as you request. On a first-come, first-served basis. All you need to do is choose how long your reading will be, & relax, have faith.

To know more about how my email readings work, please check out my previous post & my FAQs vol. 2 section. Satisfaction guaranteed. You get to save as much as US$10 for a 3-question reading, & that's a huge deal.

Now if you want to schedule a Tarot reading to be conducted in person, please note that I can only meet up in my designated location in Makati. Please coordinate with me via email or this blog for an appointment. :) & if by any chance you want to donate for the betterment of this blog, please let me know! Thank you in advance! Namaste! :D

what happens when Mercury, Saturn, & the N. Node are all in Scorpio

2012-10-10T01:45:00.003+08:00

My blog will be 6 years old on the 13th. I'm still thinking of how to celebrate it here, to thank all you readers for it. But for now, let me just give you my schedule this month, & I'm still taking a long break from reading Tarot face-to-face. Please note that I don't do Tarot readings anymore on weekends. You'll have to wait until I give the advisory via SMS. The soonest possible time is on Tuesday, October 16th, & the last open slot is 5pm-7pm. I'll still try to read again to accommodate other people before the 23rd (the following Tuesday), & then no more readings up close again from the 24th until November 4th). Remote readings are priced differently, but they can be requested within that time. Be sure to place payments before Halloween sets in, & please note I'll need some time off on November 1st with my family to commemorate our dearly departed. You should, too.

Should you wish to schedule for a Tarot reading with me, feel free to email me at sp[dot]lovecraft[at]gmail[dot]com. Email readings can be quite accurate, too, like what this man attests to, from his last missive to me a few months ago:

Hey, I just had a mind-blowing realization. That girl I asked you about - she was indeed an Aries, but at the time I had 2 Arieses lingering about. While things with that interesting Aries didn't work out, my relationship with the other Aries was progressing smoothly but I was taking it for granted because obviously my mind was set on someone else.

Now, these are the things that are true in your reading for the 2nd Aries:

"a lot of communication & effort is required" Yes, there has been a lot of this.

"things improve around literally the next 3 weeks" They did, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was just going with the flow, thinking it would be cool if something came out of our thing, but I wasn't as invested in it as she was. But things were progressing like they would in any romantic relationship.

"she might even live rather far away from you. But she delights in praise, has a soft spot for children" This is true for her.

"may literally be surrounded with pets (& admiring eyes)." Not pets, but definitely plenty of admiring eyes.

"She could even be musically-inclined." She is. She plays various instruments.

"Be prepared to travel soon, then, maybe because of her. & travel may be akin to telecommunications anyway." It wasn't too soon but I do have to travel a bit to get to her.

"her roots may be more influential than you think" I don't know about her biological roots, but her step-dad is most definitely influential.

Amazing! Anyway, I'm sorry if I seemed skeptical before. All this just came to me today and I thought I'd tell you about it. Keep up the good work!

I have to admit he was quite a bitch to read for, & he sure knows it, WTF, but I tried my best to patient & it sure paid off. All I ask for is a little bit more respect at this point, especially if I give a huge discount for readings online, which I won't be offering anytime soon. I mean, I still could, especially for my 6th blog-o-versary, but only valid until the time specified. If you want to take advantage of it, stay tuned, & let me think it through.

BTW, my rates have changed, please note, & I still read within the Makati CBD. Off-location sessions will be charged more from now on. Please be advised. Will come up with my personal updates in a bit. ♥

birthday blues + Venus in Leo + Mars return

2012-09-22T10:48:00.003+08:00

It's my Solar return soon, & I did say before on Facebook that I won't be having Tarot readings from September 21-30, as part of my birthday break on the 25th. I'll be slightly more than 3 decades old by then, even if it doesn't really show (& I'm still freaked out with how I act like I'm only 12 sometimes). Please take note. & please feel free to show me your love in any (CAVEAT: non-threatening) way! Haha.

I'm still grateful for my most loyal clients who'd go out of their way to treat me to coffee & munchies while I read for them, or dole out presents even before my actual birthday next week. I've already received awesome spa items from The Body Shop, then I'm expecting a cupcake cookbook all the way from London. Their generosity will be ardently repaid. I believe in quid pro quo, after all, & that's the way to go. ♥

I really haven't taken care of my wishlist yet, but it will include cookbooks from The Barefoot Contessa, an ice cream maker (yes, please, I miss having cookies-&-cream ice cream, just like what Mom used to make), a new oven along with a state-of-the-art kitchen, because my Cancer Moon in my 5th House (cusp in Gemini) demands it. Plus the repeated draws of the Queen of Wands card is denoting how my inner Venus is hellbent on becoming the next domestic goddess. Haha. Come back later. I'll even give my shipping address so you can all send me your gifts of choice! ♥

Anyway, check out this awesome Katy Perry remix from my new favorite local D&B producer + DJ, because I love the original track (IKR, so unlikely of me, yeah?) to begin with & I'm all for supporting local talent all the more while Neptune's in Pisces for the next few years. Kinda funny how the day before he announced he was going to remix this song, I was wondering how else it could sound differently. Et voila. So much fun. Thanks anyway, Universe! (You can catch him perform live later here.)

"I don't have to sell my soul... He's already in me."

2012-09-05T04:00:00.002+08:00

"Anti-Lamentation"

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook.
Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.

Not the nights you called God names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the livingroom couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs
window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied
of expectation. Relax. Don’t bother remembering
any of it. Let’s stop here, under the lit sign
on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

- Dorianne Laux

Can't thank Lea Rose enough for this poem. Perfect for this gloomy week.

I just want to feel better, like the rest of you.

haha, gacked off MindBodyGreen

2012-08-31T06:49:00.002+08:00

10 Things You Should Never Apologize For

By Andrea Speir

Sometimes it's good to apologize, but sometimes it's not...Here are ten things you should never apologize for:

1. Laughing from your core.

It seems to me that somehow, through life and social upbringing, we are taught not to laugh loud and hard like we did as kids. I have to say, how great does it feel when someone catches you off guard with something truly hilarious and you release that loud, from the gut laugh. It is such a rush of adrenaline to release such a raw, powerful and joyful emotion. Life is too short to be scared to laugh.

2. Loving someone with everything you’ve got.

The very first time you had a crush on someone, and they didn’t like you back, you got stung. They didn’t ask you to dance at the junior high dance. Your high school sweetheart moved away to college and you did as well. These moments all build on each other, each making the next venture in love more careful and well thought out. This can be a good thing. We learn to love wisely and for the right reasons in an attempt to avoid pain.

The risk is we also build walls that shield us from great moments and people, loves and adventures. If we continue to view relationships as either risky or safe, how will we know if we missed out on letting our heart guide us?

Love must be a risk, and we must never apologize to ourselves, our lovers, our family, or our friends for past trauma or emotions. Embrace them and move forward. Move into love.

3. Making time to read a book.

Literature is the one way we communicate with the past and present. We tell each other stories about our lives and the world. We give each other ways of escaping into different realities. Don’t feel like you should be doing something else or that you’re wasting time.

4. Looking at the moon and commenting on the shape and size.

You know you do it. The moon is completely majestic and amazing. It embodies wonder and beauty. We cannot fully comprehend it, and yet we can relish in the light it shines in the dark on everyone, everywhere.

Stopping to “ooh and ahh” at a little crescent or a full, yellow moon is a moment of literally stopping to smell the roses. You are stopping to acknowledge beauty that is beyond yourself.

5. Telling someone the truth, even when it would be easier not to.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I think we all agree there are moments when not saying the truth of what is on your mind is the kinder choice. However, there is no need to feel guilty or apologetic for expressing what you truly and honestly believe. That takes courage and strength.

Be the kind of friend you would want to have.

6. Never speaking to an ex again.

It didn’t work out, and that is rough.

No matter how good of a friend they were to you, your mind has an emotional weight on it when it comes to this person. If being friends is completely fine, I’m not saying cut someone out. However, there should be pressure for you to feel like their emotional well-being is your responsibility or keeping them in your life will be easier for your well-being.

7. Asking questions.

Not knowing is one thing. Having the courage to say “I don’t understand” is another.

8. Trying something new.

Maybe you tried paddleboarding for the first time on your family vacation, cooking a new recipe, or took a zumba class and it wasn’t your thing. Oh well! You tried it. The little decisions like that are what build up a courage in our everyday lives.

9. Watching the sparkles on the ocean.

In my opinion, there are few things more beautiful than the little sparkles on the tip of the ocean waves. Anytime you are around a natural beauty, stop and stare. Don’t feel bad for not talking, not looking at your phone or thinking about work. If something is beautiful, allow it to make you feel something, even if you don’t know what that something is.

10. Spoiling yourself on your birthday.

Why not? It’s your birthday! The one day a year you have to stop and think about you. That’s not vain, no apologies for caring about yourself. Make it a tradition of celebrating yourself every year. Even if it’s as simple as buying yourself a cupcake or taking the time to go on a walk, reading a book in a park, or stopping for that tasty, chocolaty latte you crave. Love starts from within. If other people are allowed to celebrate you, it should start with you thanking yourself for being you.

Published August 30, 2012 at 11:44 AM

About Andrea Speir

Andrea Speir is a Los Angeles based Pilates instructor. She enjoys kicking butt in her Pilates studio, drinking lattes at least twice daily, and writing as a creative way to express herself and connect with others. Connect with her at:

Facebook: facebook.com/andreaspeirpilates.com

Websites: andreaspeirpilates.com and pilatesstyle.com/category/pilates-blog/andrea-speir

Tags: forgiveness, happiness, love, mindfulness, personal growth, relationships, wellness

thoughts from last night's last-minute reading

2012-08-23T12:50:00.003+08:00

10 Suggestions for Raising Your Magnetic Resonance to Stay Aligned with Your Soul and Spirit in 2012 and Beyond:

Focus on your heart. The energy of your heart is 5,000 times more powerful than that of your other organs, including your brain. A strong awareness of your heart, of giving, of charity, of compassion, of empathy, will raise your magnetic resonance and guide you to the right people and places to be safe in 2012 and beyond.

Meditate. Focus on your spiritual eye in the center of your forehead, become aware of your breathing and inwardly chant Om. This activity will align you with your soul and Spirit and raise your personal magnetic resonance so all of your needs are fulfilled.

Think positive thoughts. Positive thinking raises your magnetic resonance and attracts you to – and to you – the positive outcome to which you devote your energy.

Visualize what you want to create – and you will electromagnetically attract the object of your visualization.

Pray. Your prayers for yourself and others raise your magnetic resonance and increase the magnetic field of the person you are praying for – and the planet as a whole.

Affirm. Affirm in your mind repeatedly throughout the day the positive reality you envision for yourself and others.

Give as much as you can. Charity opens the way for more abundance to come to you.

Practice gratitude. Gratitude opens the way for more of the quality you are thankful for to come to you.

Raise your magnetic resonance through physical methods – get plenty of sunshine, clean water, fresh fruits and vegetables, and feel the beneficial effects of negative ions (positive energy) from moving water, rivers, oceans, waterfalls, or even rain – God’s way of cleaning the earth to bring positive energy.

Simplify. Lower your expectations, especially the unrealistic ones. Focus on what is important. Let go of the rest.

Know that everything will be okay. No matter what happens, nothing will happen that you can’t handle, and nothing that isn’t supposed to come into your life can come if you live in alignment with your soul and Spirit.

Please note this list isn't mine, but it sure did confirm a whole lot of things I've babbled about last night to a new fun Aquarian client, & what I've been babbling about the whole time to other people, even before the whole The Secret hoopla.

& yes, finally, I'm back. I'm sorry to be gone for so long. But a whole lot of things happened to me again (only this time much, much crazier) & it was fun, actually, sure, while I was partially taking a break, especially during my 10th Tarot anniversary. Happy Tarot Decade to me. Ugh.

What gets to me the most, though, is how things are becoming more exciting for me & my brother & my best friend + bodyguard, haha, especially spirituality-wise. Today marks the onset of my & my brother's Mars return (yes, in Scorpio), & my best friend's currently enjoying her Venus return (in Cancer). We hope that starting this coming weekend, especially just in time for my brother's actual Solar return this season (our respective birthdays happen next month), we could all just bond further via music & good food & esoterica, hehe. I can't believe my brother's finally becoming more of his Pisces Rising self. I think it's good, but I need to look after him more sharply, especially with Neptune possibly obscuring things for him. We already just both confirmed my role in his life, & today's discussion has been the best talk we've had in years. ♥ I love it. I love my brother very much. & I'm glad he finally understands all my intentions for the both of us + the world. I really hope that in the next 14 years or so, he'll express his full potential & carry on with his own grand mission. He's so much to share in this world, & I'm personally very proud of him. Creepy how today's talk is influenced with the Moon in the same sign, for now. & how I've been spending a whole lot of time with Aquarian Suns & Moons; as well as Piscean Suns, Moons, & Risings. WHAT THE. No thanks again to my Aquarius Rising & Cancer Moon & Scorpio Venus + Mars.

After all my personal pain (part of all that excitement I had to go through in the last couple of months... actually, no, ever since this damned year started), I'm now ready to begin anew. I'm very thankful of all the other people in my life this year, & all them new experiences & acquisitions, & I feel very blessed, as always, even if I still know I can do so much better. Saturn in Libra's influence's damn exhausting, but thank God for Jupiter in Gemini making things much much easier to bear these days. I still pray for everybody else suffering & mourning in this world, especially with the recent tragedies my country had to face this quarter. Proceeds of my readings still go to charity, & I hope to finally haul out a lot of other things from this house that could find better use elsewhere this weekend. I'm finally letting go, & letting my inner Venus out (in Scorpio; who's been trying so desperately to come out ever since Venus was in Gemini, only to be slightly blighted by Mars in my sign Libra these past few days). Fine. SIGH.

Speaking of readings, I will be available for another Tarot readathon along the Makati CBD on Monday, 1pm-4pm. Please leave a comment in this post for an appointment with your preferred contact details & birthdays if you're interested, & please confirm at least a day before your schedule. Please also RELAX before seeing me, like I always say, & keep an open mind.

Now for those interested with my Tarot workshops, please note that my rates have changed, & I'll have to screen my new students-to-be before my next class starts. There are limited slots (only up to 10 per run), please take note. If all goes well, I could have it right within the Blue Moon weekend at the end of this month, or on September 1st (yay, my Mercury return starts by then!) Again, leave a comment in this post with your preferred contact details (& birthdays, please!) if you wish to proceed.

I'll update more later. I have to run & do more readings in person today, & I'll have to finish early to give myself more time to recharge. All these late nights + alcohol lately are taking their toll now, so I'm detoxing as much as I can. Time to focus on home improvement, yoga (yeah, I know, can't believe my last class was in 2008), more writing, & more divination, too. Just in time for the Sun in Virgo. Le sigh. Thank you so much, Scorpio Mars, for the boost. Don't forget to Like my humble Page for free quick online Tarot readings once I get 400 followers before the end of the month, as well as a free 2013 astrological guidebook duo to give away, along with a whole buncha fun stuff to raffle off! Toodles! :*

The 21 Signs of Spiritual Awakening

2012-06-15T13:19:00.003+08:00

I've been noticing how in 2009 I've been forced to think about my spiritual life like crazy, & Life has changed greatly since then. There's still a part of me resisting it, saying I can manage my life as humanly possible as everyone else, but I've realized (again) this month, no thanks to the last Full Moon + Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius, that I'm different now & I can't just take my life for granted anymore. Not ever. It's perplexing & disheartening & yet exciting at the same time, but I guess I've to live with it. I'm not really enjoying this phase, though, especially while Saturn's being so harsh in my sign.

& then I found this list. I can't remember exactly where, & I've been very sick ever since, & now it all makes sense. If you're feeling hypersensitive like me, & you get weird symptoms, then this could be it. But please get actual medical assistance whenever you can first, especially when you're having emotional highs & lows all the time, & feeling intensely drained physically:

1. Changing sleep patterns: restlessness, hot feet, waking up two or three times a night.

2. Sudden waves of emotion. Crying at the drop of a hat. Feeling suddenly angry or sad with little provocation. Or inexplicably *depressed - then very happy! An emotional rollercoaster.

3. Altered eating habits, * food intolerance, allergies you never had before. Unusual food cravings.

4. Amplification of the senses - Sight: *Blurry vision, seeing shimmering objects, glittery particles, auras around people, plants, animals, and objects. You may also see geometric shapes or brilliant colors and pictures when eyes are closed.

5. Amplification of the senses - Hearing: Your ears are adjusting to new frequencies. *You may hear ringing, roaring or buzzing noises.

6. Amplification of the senses - Smell, touch, and/or taste. Food may taste better, worse or just different. You may notice smells or fragrances that others are not aware of.

7. A range of *physical manifestations: Headaches, backaches, neck pains, flu-like symptoms (this is called vibrational flu), digestive problems, muscular spasms or cramps.

8. Vivid dreams. Many dreams may be mystical or carry messages for you.

9. A desire to break free from restrictive patterns, life-draining jobs, and toxic people or situations. You want to be creative and free to be who you really are.

10. Creativity bursts: Receiving images, ideas, music, and other creative inspirations at an often overwhelming rate.

11. A perception that time is accelerating.

12. A deep yearning for meaning, purpose, spiritual connection, and revelation. Perhaps an interest in the spiritual ~~for the first time in your life~~.

13. A feeling that you are somehow different, with new skills and gifts emerging, especially healing ones.

14. “Teachers” appear seemingly everywhere with perfect timing to help you on your spiritual journey.

15. Seeing things that have spiritual importance for you. Noticing how numbers appear with synchronicity. Seeing the message in everything that happens.

16. Increased integrity: You realize that it is time for you to seek and speak your truth.

17. Harmony with seasons and cycles: You are becoming more tuned to the seasons, the phases of the moon and natural cycles.

18. You are drawn to studying and working with crystals.

19. Increased intuitive abilities and altered states of consciousness: Thinking of someone and immediately hearing from them. Intensified sensitivity and knowing. Channeling Angelic energies.

20. Communication with Spirit. Contact with Angels, spirit guides, and other divine entities.

21. Living your purpose: You know you are finally doing what you came to earth for.

& this was just right after I had to question myself again, whether I'm on the right track, & I'd be able to do this for the rest of my life. & so it seems at this point.

With that said, I should devote more time & energy to self-care, even if I'm getting really sick of it. I've been indulging in copious amounts of Amaretto Sours & dark beer again, though, no thanks to all this crazy Watery energy from Mercury (in Cancer) & Neptune (in Pisces). I can't wait for the next weekend to go drinking with my Cancerian best friend again & wax philosophical with her, just before the Uranus-Pluto square. Ugh.

Now these tips look very relevant all the more this year, not just because of that upcoming planetary face-off:

If overwhelmed and lost, begin by letting go of 'what's no longer you.'
Don't allow social media or celebrity fixations to dilute your identity -- self-containment can be powerful now.
Seek out those that are vibing on the new.
Honor your individuality, including ancestral roots, sense of place, personal story.

Especially timely during a Venus-Chiron square this weekend (both are in retrograde, btw, oh, God). The Universe is devastatingly annoying lately, despite it giving me a few good breaks (albeit very much by my lonesome most of the time). But like what I've re-realized earlier this week, only when we get to really acknowledge our mortality will we be able to fully tap into our Higher Self. I just wish I could integrate the 2 more smoothly now.

Anyway, I'll be available (& objectively sane) for face-to-face readings again in the Makati CBD next week, Wednesday, June 20th, 3pm-7pm. Feel free to email me at sp.lovecraft [at] gmail [dot] com for an appointment, & please confirm a day or at least a few hours before in advance.

"What I Wish My Tarot Clients Knew"

2012-05-27T00:31:00.006+08:00

This article is from The Tarot Lady's blog. Funny how I was cooking up my own take on this one, but I might as well repost this here, for you clients, both old & new, to understand how we do care about what we do & how we love our Tarot cards but how we have to overcome the hurdles of our day-to-day reading drudgery for others:

I deeply care about you but I won’t attach myself to your issues. Tarot readers are sensitive creatures. We have to create strong boundaries in order to preserve our own inner peace.

I can’t remember your readings (I do a “reading dump” at the end of the day). I can barely remember my grocery list. Trust me on that.

Last-minute appointments throw my mojo off. My day is strictly planned and I don’t like surprises. Sorry but you’ll have to wait.

A tarot reader practices a lot of self care – you should too. You deserve it.

You don’t have to be unhappy. You have every tool available (including therapy) to change your life. Your future is always up to you.

There are no guarantees. Don’t seek that from the cards or from me. The only person who can give you a guarantee on your life is you.

I can’t read for everyone. Nothing personal. Sometimes we just don’t gel. Keep searching and you’ll find a reader who is a better fit for you.

Don’t waste your energy on past loves. The present is all that matters. What will you do with now? Start with loving yourself.

You must take action if you want your life to be awesome. Sitting around waiting for your “luck” to change leads to a whole lotta nothing happening.

A tarot reading is rarely if ever 100% “accurate”. If you are seeking 100% accuracy, that’s a mighty tall order.

When you call me for a “chat as a friend” and it ends up with you dumping on me and asking me to “toss a couple of cards” or give you “my vibe” on the situation, I feel very taken advantage of. (This is why my phone is always off – I won’t allow this any longer.)

Everyone has their turn at the wheel. Life is always in motion. Don’t get angry if life doesn’t always go your way. Roll with the punches. This too shall pass.

If you walk in the door proclaiming that you “don’t believe in this stuff”, I don’t find it charming or funny. It puts me on the defense and creates a hostile environment. Would you like it if someone did that to you at your job? Probably not. If you don’t believe, I really don’t have any interest in proving a thing to you.

Likewise, if you choose to sit mute in the reading or wish to “test me” with trick questions, I hope you realize that you are making my work feel like an onerous chore. Be friendly and don’t play games. We’ll get along much better.

When the clock is off, my mojo is turned off. And no, I don’t walk around “reading energy” or prying into other people’s auras. It’s invasive. I like to mind my own karma. (Oh, and that perplexed look on my face is not about you – I’m probably stewing over last night’s Mob Wives episode because that is where my brain goes when I am not working.)

Not all tarot readers are witches (I’m not one). Nor are we all gypsies, psychics, con artists, women, pagans, crones, druids, or any of the other stereotypes you may have heard. We come in every shape, size, color, gender, sexual orientation, background, belief system, etc.

Tarot isn’t only for divination. In fact, tarot originally started as a game – and it is still played as one to this day. Tarot can also be used for creative prompts, conscious decision-making, self-development, a therapeutic tool and more.

When you ask the same question over and over to get the answer you want, my cards get rebellious and I get aggravated. Don’t do it.

Tarot is not “evil” nor the work of the devil. In fact, it’s quite neutral and depends entirely on the intent of the reader and client. Most readers want to help, not harm.

Bitter is not a good look on anyone. Don’t be bitter – be better.

You do not have a curse on you. If you believe that, you have taken your own personal responsibility out of your current circumstances. If your life feels crappy, you can change it. It’s always up to you. As my mother said, “your life is how you make it”.

No ones gets spiritual by holding on. Let go.

What feels so horrible and difficult right now will bring deep understanding later. You’ll look back and see it differently. BREATHE. It gets better.

Your future belongs to you and is yours alone. Focus on you. Don’t worry about everyone else. Live fully. Be present.

In the end, you’ll realize that this was all just one big, joyful journey. Love the life you have now because it will end one fine day. And that’s the only future you can count on.

Now here's what *I* have to say about what she said, & what I personally have to say about being a Tarot reader:

1) I can actually remember most of your readings. But forgive me if I say I can't remember at the top of my head. Don't ask me out of the blue what was it that I said to you before, especially when I've had a long busy day doing readings, especially in person. Take responsibility. Jot down important dates & other details I give. But don't get disappointed if my timings don't happen right on the dot. My readings usually happen & manifest, but the timing could be off. So I recommend a 2-3 month-long timeframe in general, unless otherwise specified. & I have people who can attest that what I say here is true. I myself am shocked when people declare that what I've told them (& insistently warned them about, sadly) occurs vividly, right before their very eyes. I am happy, then, to be an Oracle like that.

2) I care about you but I've learned the hard way that I can't be really friends with my clients, even if I actually want to. People are still selfish, & they think just because they're paying clients, they can shrug me off or order me around. I actually can't take it when actual close friends barge in, demanding for a reading, without even asking me first how I am. & I'm hypersensitive like that, I know when your "how are you?" is mere lip service. Fuck that. I appreciate all my clients' generosity & I try as much as possible not to take advantage of that, & I always pay it forward by tipping people generously who provide service for me in turn, for starters, but I know when to draw the line. & please, I may come across as stronger & wiser than you, but I'm very much frail, too.

3) I can schedule you at the last minute, but do your part in relaxing yourself before having a session with me, or else suffer from delays & actual postponement. & please, I am not a morning person. Don't expect me to respond to your calls & text messages until around lunchtime. Sometimes I may actually text at odd hours (like 4am-6am) for schedule announcements because of my erratic body clock & operating hours, & I apologize profusely in advance, but I don't expect immediate replies, anyway. Better check this blog for schedule listings as it's much easier & less obtrusive.

4) Please give me my space when I say I'm out having a massage (very necessary purging bodywork for me) or on some far-flung place having a "vacation" (to clear my aura & recharge my decks). Don't demand me for answers when I will be back. I will get back to you ASAP (& again, just please check this blog for updated schedule listings).

5) Don't expect me to cheer you up everytime. I usually handle my readings with humor & lots of empathy, but know I'm just human, too, & with bad hair (& skin!) days, especially when I have my period. I usually recommend things that help make me sane & happy, but I understand what I like may not be your thing, but it doesn't hurt to take my word for it, yes? Try it, & see/feel for yourself. :)

6) Indeed, there are NO guarantees. But in the last 10 years of my studying the cards & how they relate to our daily lives, I know the cards don't ever lie. What I strive for, then, is to become the most accurate reader/interpreter that I can be. But I'm not perfect. Nobody ever is. There are actually psychics out there who are astoundingly accurate, but I don't ever claim to be like them. My psychic powers are still budding, & I still really dread that "P" word, but I know when my hunches are correct. Sometimes I don't even need the cards to foresee something. But that's fucking tiring to do 24/7, & at the end of the day, I just wanna be a regular girl simply going out for rock gigs, urban art exhibits, food, cocktails, light conversation, boy-watching (wtf), & a bit of shopping (which I still hate, only mandatory), hehe, when I'm not at the beach.

7) I try to read for everyone, everytime, everywhere. But in my horrible experience, I CANNOT (& NEVER WILL ANYMORE) read for too strong personality types anymore. For crazy, desperate, shrieking women who actually should end up in a fucking psychiatric ward than allowed to be let loose in society. For fucking skeptics. For older men, & much older (past 50 y/o) women. For the dull-witted, inarticulate profanum vulgus. For the stingy / matapobre / cheapskates. For blah corporate events. Not to be an elitist bitch, but my Mercury in Virgo in the cusp of my 7th-8th Houses has barely any patience left anymore. I love reading for precocious youngsters, from 7-18 y/o, though. With supervision & permission from their parents, of course. They make awesome company, & even if I don't wish to have my own kids ever, they make me think twice about that idea.

8) I personally have my pathetic inability to move on from the past, especially from people who've hurt me, but I'm trying my best. I still get wistful from time to time, but this Venus retrograde (which should last until around the end of June) is helping me purge everyone fucking toxic from my consciousness for once & for all. Take advantage of this time as well to do your own exorcism of your own demons/psychic vampires.

9) I share with you what I personally enjoy/indulge in/struggle to do, to let you know how even I have to manage Life by my own. I'm human, too, & I may have actually suffered way more than you. Your problems may not be as gruesome as mine, trust me. So be happy now. Be more determined to crawl out of your rut now, whatever it takes, the same way I always nearly die clawing out of mine.

10) Again, Tarot cards never lie, but don't ever expect 100% accuracy every single time. My "batting average" is at 90-95%, but don't ever bug me to give you updates on when will your fucking desires manifest as foretold. Be patient, I can only tell you that they will happen, but I can't magically pull them out like a rabbit out of a hat. For the nth time, like I always say, if that's what you're expecting me to do for you, then go find your own fucking freak show.

11) Just this month, it has disheartened me deeply that people I've become close with just barge in with offhanded demands to have me read their cards & tell them what the fuck is in store for them this year, without even asking me first how I'm holding up & if I'm actually in the fucking mood to read Tarot at that time. Punyeta. I'm not like that at all. I ask politely, or whine with warning, if ever I do need help from anyone. The only person I can ever bug (sometimes thoughtlessly) is my Virgo brother, whom I love to bits, but he's family, anyway. Though I really appreciate my Cancerian best friend who knows exactly what I'm going through & what to say to me, especially when I so least expect it, because she knows me very well, even without my ever prompting her.

12) & NO WAY WILL I EVER READ FOR FUCKING SKEPTICS ANYMORE. I RESERVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO WALK OUT OF YOU BITCHES SHOULD YOU DECLARE THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS SHIT. I CAN PROVE SKEPTICS WRONG MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, TO THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING THEM ACQUIRE THEIR OWN CARDS & STUDY THE DAMNED SUBJECT, BUT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS SHIT & WON'T EVER TRUST ME TO SHOW YOU THE WONDERS I'VE PERSONALLY SEEN TAROT CAN OFFER, THEN DON'T WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME. I FUCKING HAVE NO TIME NOR ENERGY ANYMORE FOR YOUR SHIT, EITHER.

13) I may just wander about like the regular girl I'm always assuming myself to be at the end of the day, but yeah, I may pick up other people's energy just like that & babble about astrological trends as if we were just talking about the weather & other trifles, but please, don't expect me to do that everytime. I try to detach & "unplug" as much as I can. Even if I may be really fond of you, but if I'm not in the mood for that, please don't force me to comply.

14) & yeah, I may be younger, more outgoing, more liberal, more profane, more colorful, more upbeat, & more outlandish than your average reader, but that doesn't mean I'm any less "authentic." I collect decks seriously & I can use all of them VERY proficiently whenever the mood arises, & I don't need to adhere to fucking stereotypes to let people know I'm a passionate, intricate, devoted Tarotist. You don't need to see me go actually goth to prove it. I have enough Scorpio/Plutonian influence to depict my "darkness" (Sun & Pluto in Libra in the 8th House, Pluto trine Ascendant, Venus {semisextile Pluto} + Mars {sextile Saturn} in Scorpio in the 9th House). Fuck off.

15) Again, my take on Tarot is that it's art & mysticism in motion. Everything I've always been interested in (art, religion, spirituality, philosophy, psychology, subculture) is all quirkily encompassed in a box of cards. It's always a good icebreaker along like-minded folk, & an amazing tool for creative brainstorming for more left-brained, stodgy types. & again, my approach/style is lighthearted & humorous & pragmatic. You can blame my Cancer Moon in my 5th House in Gemini, & my Jupiter in Leo in my 6th House, & all my happy Sun-Mercury/Midheaven/Jupiter aspects for that.

16) I've learned the hard way to pay attention to my cards when they show me scary images, & to not insist on my desired answer, & I only beg of them to show me the truth, & ways for me to accept that truth. Again, what I've learned from them is that, if they show me something good, I find ways to make that manifest, & if not, I find ways to avoid whatever's undesirable coming my way.

17) No, I don't offer past-life regression or hypnosis. I'm still working on reselling Tarot decks locally. I work with Western-style feng shui (leading to chakra balancing via colors & crystals) & astrology, & I hope to learn Reiki soon. I also work with candles (I collect them, too, LOL; the more scented, the better!) to tap into my weaker inner Fire & Earth energy (I'm more Air & Water, & I need more structure & stability & drive now).

18) Read my existentialism repost again, please, that came before this one, & realize the importance of living your life in the present tense. Take charge of your life. Tarot readings can help, but only up to a point. Get going. Know that tempus fugit, YOLO, hehe. To quote this Rage Against The Machine song, "What better place than here? What better time than now?

19) I'm working on the really prompt delivery of my emailed readings. Please bear with me if it takes more than 7 days to do so, especially if your questions are that complex. & no, I will not rip you off, satisfaction guaranteed.

20) Please email me for inquiries & appointments at sp.lovecraft [at] gmail [dot] com, & please note that I won't be available for face-to-face readings from June 3-9. Please also be friendlier & don't just interact with me on my Facebook page for quick complimentary readings. & if you have time, please read through my older posts for other interesting snippets you might come across that could help you with your respective dilemma. :)

To quote again The Tarot Lady, "What do you want to know about tarot or tarot readers? Or what do you wish people knew about tarot? Post your comments and questions in the comment section below." Have a happy weekend. ♥

time to wake up

2012-05-20T02:05:00.000+08:00

Scary music video of teh nao:

Warning: NSFW. Soul-harrowing. But hopefully enlightening just the same.

I actually get a kick out of this song, but this video shuts me up. "The world is a vampire set to drain," indeed, but with what I do, & with the more aware people I talk to, I still know & believe that there's hope for us all. Despite repeated heartbreak & disappointment. Despite hunger, poverty, torture, debauchery. Despite death.

"Despite of my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage," but at least I know better now than I did many years before. & let me share with you this article by Alex Green (found this piece in my email & I thought it was spam, but oh, joy!) that validates everything I'm struggling for, especially whenever I'd be in a crisis & I've got no one else to turn to:

Who, exactly, are the existentialists and what do they know? Existentialism is a philosophical movement that came about in the late 19th century. It is not some abstract set of theoretical truths. Rather it is a no-nonsense philosophy that encourages you to take a hard look at your life and ask two essential questions: Who am I and how shall I live?

Its goal is to awaken us from our slumber, have us grab life by the lapels and start living authentically. Unfortunately, there is no particular school that offers a systematic account of existentialism. Its founders were fierce individualists who avoided labels, detested "isms," and refused to be lumped into any group.

So there is no grand philosophical system here. Essentially, existentialism exists at the intersection of the essays of Friedrich Nietzsche and Jean-Paul Sartre, the novels of Albert Camus and Fyodor Dostoevsky, the religious writings of Soren Kierkegaard and Paul Tillich, and the plays of Harold Pinter and even William Shakespeare (particularly Hamlet and King Lear). Clearly, existentialism is older than the term itself. The philosophy is based on six general themes:

1. Acceptance of the Absurd. Each of us drops unexpectedly into this world, in a universe where time – at least as we know it – has no beginning, space no end, and life no pre-set meaning. It is an inexplicable mystery. This realization is hardly new, of course. Ecclesiastes kicks off with the words "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. What does man gain from all his labor and toil here under the sun?" (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3). Existentialists believe that it's only when you confront the fundamental absurdity of life that you begin to live honestly.

2. Personal Freedom. Life itself may be meaningless, but you give it meaning when you begin making important choices. These, in turn, reveal who you are. With freedom of choice, however, comes responsibility. Taking ownership of your decisions means not blaming your parents, your spouse, your teachers, or anyone else for the shape of your life. More responsibility brings greater freedom. And with it: hope.

3. Individualism. Existentialists are keenly aware that society continually pulls us toward conformity. There are immense social pressures to go along, get along, and live pretty much like everyone else. Existentialists challenge you to buck conventional wisdom, express your true nature, and follow your dream, whatever that may be.

4. Authenticity. Most people are so consumed by desire, guilt, fear, or anxiety about what other people think that they find it almost impossible to follow their true calling. However, it's only when you begin to do what you want – and not what others expect – that you begin to live authentically. But expect resistance. Institutions want to mold you. Other people want you to go on their trip. It's far easier to live unthinkingly as part of the crowd. Yet authentic individuals are in control of their own lives.

5. Passion. Being passionate and engaged is crucial. This doesn't mean acting crazy or hysterical. Quite the opposite, in fact. Existentialists believe you should devote yourself to a cause, one that you're willing to organize your life around, perhaps even die for. For Kierkegaard, that passion was the pursuit of truth. For others, it may be artistic expression, healing the sick, or building a business that employs hundreds and serves thousands. In all walks of life, you'll find that passionate men and women are more purposeful.

6. Acceptance of Death. Life is finite. Yet existentialists don't see this as a reason for pessimism. Facing death is what forces you to take life seriously, use your time wisely, and make meaningful choices. It should invigorate your life. As the character Andy puts it in The Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living or get busy dying."

Nietzsche, the philosopher most closely associated with existentialism, refers to it as the noble ideal. Your life, he argues, is an unwritten book that only you can write. Or, he says, visualize your life as a kind of artistic project, except that you are both the sculptor and the clay. This concept runs throughout existentialist works.

Martin Heidegger counsels us to learn to "dwell poetically." Kierkegaard says, "to exist is an art." All existentialists agree that life has the meaning you choose to give it. Sartre even declared that man is "nothing else but what he makes of himself." This view is fairly widespread in the West today. But it was once considered revolutionary.

No matter how things stand in your life, you choose how to interpret your situation. You choose how to respond to it. Even if you do nothing, you still have made a choice. There is no escaping the consequences of your actions – or your inaction. This makes some people profoundly uncomfortable, of course. They don't like facing up to the world as it is. They don't want responsibility. It's easier to blame others, circumstances, or "the breaks."

Existentialism, however, is known as "the no-excuses philosophy." You may be old. You may be broke. You may be sick. But existentialists say you start from where you are and move forward.

How? By accepting responsibility and making choices.

This isn't always easy. Pursuing authenticity requires relentless self-examination. It exposes you to things about yourself that you may not want to know. It may cause discomfort or friction with others. But inauthentic lives, by comparison, are shallow, trivial, and unsatisfying. They are often marked by the dogged pursuit of material goods, social status, or the approval of others.

In many ways existentialism is a return to the roots of philosophy, a return to the ancients' concern with truth, virtue, and the art of living well. Existentialism offers a guide to the perplexed. It shows us not just how to live, but how to flourish, how to create meaning in a senseless world. Those who reject this philosophy often do so not because they don't understand it but because they can't face it. And that's unfortunate.

Existentialism provides a practical way of thinking about the world. It offers personal freedom and empowerment. It is a path to dignity and nobility. An existentialist doesn't live as though he has forever, frittering away his time and putting off until "someday" the things he really wants to do. He or she recognizes that each day, each moment, is precious and irreplaceable.

Are you an existentialist? Only you can say, of course. But perhaps you should be. Carpe diem.

I think I've wasted enough time already to realize what I'm missing. I should be in hot pursuit of what I really want now, especially that the rainy season's catching up with what I wanna do. I want to explore water sports all the more, for starters. I wasn't able to enjoy diving & snorkeling much 5 years ago during my Solar return. Maybe tomorrow will help. I want to be physically strong again for the things I used to do & love, like biking, yoga, iceskating/rollerblading. I want to be spending my money on things that make myself & my environment look inspiring, instead on stupid hospital bills & drugs. I know I can do it. I just lost track of what I'm supposed to be doing, thinking my soul could use a break from it. I was wrong.

Never ever lose your individuality & purpose in life, no matter what happens, no matter how distracting other things & people are. Let all those other things & people complement & enrich you, instead of merely sidetracking you from your goals. Ask yourself what you are here for & why do you need to fulfill that raison d' etre. I know what I'm here for.

"so if you really love me, come on & let it show."

2012-05-11T11:11:00.002+08:00

I feel like a huge mess lately. Blame it on Saturn retrograde in my 1st House, maybe, or Uranus in my 7th, or Mars in my natal 8th & solar 12th (horrors). But I resolve to be a much better person & just focus on my tasks at hand. & never again will I have to spend a cent on hospital fees. Fuck that. & I'll just re-read this classic book that never ceases to amaze me.

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, & you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

I'm actually walking on eggshells now. Whenever I'm upset in love, I get VERY inconsolable. I try my best to see the best in the situation everytime & I've already given it much thought & deliberation. I know there's still so much more I've yet to re-learn about love, & for that, I pray for my sanity.

"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love & must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt & be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
& to bleed willingly & joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
& give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour & meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;
& then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart
& a song of praise upon your lips."

Honestly, I don't even know whether or not what I'm feeling now is really love. There's still a part of me that's freaked out with trusting a person wholeheartedly with my life, especially knowing that this person is also treading carefully in this path, showing he's still not really sure of me, either. I don't know what to do anymore except have more faith in myself, in him, & in the signs presented to me by the Universe since my breakup, especially during my last Tarot workshop in October as well as our quick reading swap during The Collective Art Fair last February. I could be just deluding myself, but getting the 10 of Cups, the King of Pentacles, & the Ace of Wands today to signify where this is all headed is a relief. I just don't want to get ahead of myself, & I could just be dreading the next Venus retrograde commencing in a few days. & I'd rather get the real score from the person in question.

I don't even know the point of this post. I think I'm just bothered with how I'm spending the rest of my time on a day-to-day basis. I still have so much work to do, & I'm on it. I just hope I see results soon. Not to be conditional, but, as much as I would love to express my feelings unabashedly no matter what, I feel like I deserve so much more now, especially with what I've gone through.

I'll be trying to clear my head today with my brother instead. He's still the most important guy in my life, after all, especially now with my dad gone, even if I don't feel so much like being a responsible big sister now.

feeling like A Sacerdotisa

2012-04-28T16:06:00.000+08:00

I really have to quote this new client after meeting her earlier this week. I'm very happy for what she said & for how she made me feel when I met her. Like I keep saying, Capricorn girls are sometimes the coolest bunch, even if I have to talk to them with much conviction to the point of debate, hehe:

"Thanks so much for yesterday! I've been smiling & feeling lighter 'cause the things you said are what I've always wanted (travel, love, stability). I think the reading alone has liberated me from my (issues)! I'm so excited & happy! Really, thanks. I haven't been this happy in 7 years! What you gave me (good juju, hope) is priceless."

Who wouldn't be floored with that? :D Thank you so much, Maggie. I really pray my predictions for you become true. But don't be afraid to take the first few steps in manifesting them! ;)

I want more positive-thinking, open-minded people to talk to. I can't thank my new soul sister Bel enough (Aquarius Sun, Cancer Moon, Pisces Rising) for everything, really. Honestly, I can't thank all these amazing young people enough for the support & inspiration they're giving me. I really hope I make them all feel the same way.

Anyway, a few friends are coming up with a 4-woman art exhibit in June, focusing on mythological goddesses. One's producing a collection of her interpretation of death goddesses, another of war, another of Greco-Roman in general, & my oldest/earliest acquaintance among them is coming up with a miscellany of Philippine female anitos, AFAIK. I'm excited to see that come to life, & I wish them all the best. Then, lo, & behold, I was reminded of my ever dearest Goddess earlier this week when someone gave me a memento of Our Lady of Lourdes. It was a sweet gesture, & I really don't appreciate religious tokens anymore, thinking they're the most cliche sometimes, but this one made a difference. I was reminded of who I really am to begin with, & what I am set to do in this world. & then I missed my dad again. :(

But just the same, I'm really for all this wonderful feminine energy I'm surrounded with, & I really hope I can tap into my artistic self again, especially with this event later tonight at a new favorite haunt, at the closing of this fantastic 2-week-long art exhibit:


RSVP here.

Congratulations again, Katrina, for the awesome offering! The opening was super-fun & I hope to make it later again tonight! I also hope you find the balance that you're striving for, as well as true happiness in love. ;)

& all of these thoughts are exactly reminiscent of how I "lost" my High Priestess card from my Dream Enchantress deck earlier this month. This archetype, the representation of Our Lady in Catholic faith, among other goddesses, is reminding me of my chosen path. No thanks to Saturn conjunct my Sun, trine my Ascendant, I guess I have to be who & what I am called to be, by offering insights based on what I know & feel to my utmost extent.

Among all the cards in the deck, as well as all the other depictions of the High Priestess that I know, this one seems quite underwhelming, but imagine my delight when I found it again, & I was begging Her to come back to my while picturing this card again in my hands. Exactly as I was visualizing it to be in my hand, she came out while I was reading for a new older Gemini client, who presented other things for me to mull over about myself & the world, like how are we supposed to free up more space in our lives for love, & how to accentuate our strengths without driving other people away. With what this illustration of La Gran Sacerdotisa is showing, I should just learn how to stay still at other times & concentrate on my tasks at hand, & not run away from myself. At this point in my life, I may still look like as underwhelming as she is, but I should understand that it has been my choice, & I can always veer away from that, living up to my natal Jupiter in Leo, like how I'm supposed to be 2 years ago. I should just be braver & more open to possibilities, & rest assured that I'm not entirely alone in this journey. Everything is unfolding as it should be, despite a few slip-ups, & I should be happy that I'm right on track. The same way this deck found its way to me 2 years ago, & earlier this year.

& I hope that the current beau du jour is in my life for the same reason as all these other influences are. Thank you for cheering me up lately, baby. I really wish we could work things out. ♥ ♥ ♥

"Escape is never the safest path..." but honestly, what is?

2012-04-07T09:06:00.003+08:00

Had a most surreal Good Friday when I had another reading that bordered on the supernatural/paranormal/occult, using my new Revelations Tarot deck. (Of all decks, it had to be that.) It made me re-think what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life, what I need to do with my Scorpio/Plutonian influences, & why I studied Tarot in the first place (ah, yes, to unlock the secrets of the Universe: 1) who am I?, 2) why am I here?, 3) when will I die?, 4) where am I headed?, 5) when will the world end?). Reading on a Good Friday + Full Moon is a most heady + bizarre + cathartic + cataclysmic experience. Especially while being powered by hazelnut soy cafe mocha, haha. & I spent the rest of my day doing readings, even remotely. I'm still wrapping my overdue email, though. I hope to be finished within the day.

I then had a dream about the Grim Reaper yesterday, who looked more like the figure in the Death card from my Morgan-Greer deck (& I'd rather not post images of cards like that, lest I'd attract their energy in my life), when I finally managed to doze off. There were grim songs playing, but songs I didn't mind hearing on loop, like probably Type O Negative's Love You To Death & tracks from Marilyn Manson. I could barely remember what was that main song buzzing in my head until I looked this up: **WARNING: NSFW**

& then it hit me. How could I forget this when this was one of the songs I personally liked because I could relate to it. I liked this & Korn's "Kick The PA" from the Spawn movie soundtrack, but I didn't expect this music video to be that grotesque + stylish. Haha. Emphasis on stylish! Very controversial, kinda relevant, with them goth Jesus & Mary depictions, just in time for the season. Lady Gaga won't ever be this captivating, I swear. :P

But yeah, this song has killer lines I feel like I myself would've written:

"Oh, Mary, to be this young is oh-so scary."

or

"You never said forever could hurt like this."

& of course,

"I wanna live, I wanna love, but it's a long hard road out of hell."

& I really didn't want to live anymore around that time, a few years before I stumbled upon Tarot. Tarot encompassed everything I really like: psychology, art, religion = mysticism = spirituality, & it helped me incorporate my penchant for astrology with my daily life, even if it had to take me 2 major tragedies in the family to accept what I already have in my possession. Everything I prayed for when I was younger (wisdom, strength, grace, all for peace of mind & stability's sake) finally manifested in my deck of cards (& a whole buncha other decks). I still am fumbling through it, even after 10 years of studying it & waiting with bated breath to get validation for my readings, but I believe now, more than ever, that it's meant to be, especially with how creepy it is all of a sudden for me to check back on my Midheaven (IC). This was from my sample Career Advice astrology report from Tarot.com:

Neptune in 10th house

You tend to have high aspirations and spiritual goals for your life. You enjoy helping others and are very idealistic. Whatever you achieve in your life will come from your own efforts without the help of your family. You are very sensitive to the feelings of the people around you and could be a very good diplomat. Chemistry and liquids could be related to your job or profession. You could experience great confusion when trying to choose your vocation, and may have some changes in your professional life. You will have to learn to be more decisive and consistent, leaving all your fantasies and doubts behind.

Ruler of 10th house ( Jupiter ) in 6th House

Your professional success is related to your ideas on service, & your ability to produce changes or transformations in yourself as well as others. No matter what profession you choose, it will be more gratifying for you if you feel that you are helping others. This astrological position favors professions linked to medicine, therapy or nutrition. If you do not have a career, you are likely to work in a company that provides some kind of service.

So yeah, I think I'm a bit happier now with where I am, though I'm still looking for more satisfaction & structure. & I most certainly can use more ideas on what to do with the rest of my life, aside from water sports, photography, cooking, yoga, crystal/color healing, & writing.

I think the point of me posting all this is I've re-realized what my role is as a reader. Regardless of what my seekers choose to do, all I can do is sadly be as objective as I can be, even if I personally negate their life choices. I can only present all the options available to them, but whether or not they choose world annihilation or world peace, I cannot really put a stop to it, not just yet. As much as it pains me that I'm like creating monsters along the way, I should remind myself that they already came to me with their plans fermenting within themselves. I can only shed light to those plans; help them acknowledge their Shadow. Whether or not they deviate from their paths at the last time after getting a reading, that's all up to them. Tarot can only help us become more responsible for ourselves, but it's still up us to actually do it. I am only like a lighthouse at some dock at the end of the day. They can't say I didn't warn them, however. I've already done my part, & I really should detach from my readings.

All I pray for now is for everyone to make the best decisions as much as possible that can help save this dying world, & stick with those. For now I'm truly grateful for the gift of divination bestowed upon me, & I acknowledge a Higher Power at work, that I am not at all omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient. We are all free to live our lives the way we want to, but we should know that we still have our respective roles to play & duties to fulfill.

Oh, I haven't really decided upon my favorite card yet from the Revelations deck. Maybe the Star, because she's pretty especially when upright, & you can never really go wrong even with it reversed. Somehow I regret buying this deck, but I believe it has its purpose, too, especially with my complicated, contradictory Libra nature. :)

& maybe the Star would be the most apt, especially in validating my chosen "line of work" du jour, especially upon hearing this prayer over some FM radio station on my way home after that most crucial reading, "Make me a channel of hope & blessings." I really hope I get to become so despite myself, & that my own journey from that long hard road out of Hell would serve as an inspiration to others clawing their way out as well. Have a sacred weekend.