Wake Up to Live!

Womb Coaching Certification Program

2026-01-25T14:01:00.000-08:00

February 17, 2026, mark this date on your calendar for a very special day.

The Womb Coaching Certification program is starting February 17 at 6 pm PST with The Institute of Shamanic Medicine.

I had the opportunity to attend the program last year with Sheryl-Dawn Watson and Gael Carter, both from The Institute of Shamanic Medicine. As an alumni, I'd like to extend a warm welcome to others who may want to participate in the program coming up.

The womb certification program is a 6-month online program (four modules) with one evening class per week (Tuesday's), and I believe one full day per module is held on a Saturday or Sunday. It's definitely best to check with the staff at The Institute of Shamanic Medicine for any recent changes. Just fill out the website's online information form to connect with them.

Why enter such a sacred space with two incredibly knowledgeable and trained shamanic practitioners?

"Womb Coaching focuses on and assists in the healing of the sacred feminine container; healing the womb space of birthing and power. Womb coaching could be healing from a difficult birth experience, a sexual or physical violation, or it could be a deep desire to know the power of the feminine. Womb coaching gives you the knowledge, tools, techniques, and resources to facilitate within yourself and/or within other women.

Assist other women in healing their womb space
Become a spiritual midwife
Learn the ancient power of birthing
Foster powerful feminine presence
Encourage the return of the feminine sovereignty
Re-imagine balance feminine power and empowerment
Discover the true heart power of the feminine."

Retrieved from https://www.shamanicmedicine.ca/womb-coaching/

Initially, when I started the program, I felt quite intimidated. If you follow Wake Up to Live! blog, you know my past experiences: developmental trauma (which included sexual, physical, and emotional abuse); teenage rapes; bullying and physical violence; domestic violence. You can read about my story here, Healing Worthlessness: Coming into Self-Love as a Trauma Survivor.

As well, my mom didn't have a difficult birth (as she told me), but as a newborn infant, I was having a difficult time breathing and adjusting to this world. As a result, I was left at the hospital for observation for about one week with the hospital staff. The first week after birth is a critical, emotional, and foundational time for establishing a mother-daughter bond, heavily influenced by skin-to-skin contact, feeding, and responding to cues. This immediate, intense connection helps regulate the newborn's temperature, heart rate, and emotions, while reducing stress for both mom and baby. When the newborn is separated from its mother during the first week, it disrupts crucial bonding, potentially causing toxic stress for the infant, impaired neurodevelopment, and increasing the risk of long-term emotional/behavioural issues. Perhaps, this separation at birth had an impact on me (which was part of my healing journey.) Clearly, I will never really know.

I've done many years of psychotherapy, which has supported my healing. Then I went on to do some somatic healing which released a lot of stored, heavy energy. From there, I bounced around from one spiritual culture to the next which was all fantastic, and I learned a lot. But then I found shamanism. There was something about shamanism that clicked. Deep connection with nature?! That was a "yes" for me.

When I used to coach more regularly, my clients would always ask me about certain things I would share with them. One was about meditation practice and how to become present. Something that was really easy for me, was not always easy for others. Another was gathering knowledge and messages from the spirit of the trees, wind, or water, for example. I always encouraged my amazing clients to "listen" to nature, to listen to the silence that can be heard from the rustling of the leaves and branches. The silence between foot step. . . etc. In all honesty, I was amazed that everyone didn't have this knowledge. I simply assumed everyone did. The learning of this is so vital! Learning to go within, be centered, and present is essential for our sanity and our health - mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. And I am so glad we have Sheryl-Dawn and Gael to support others in this area and so much more! These spaces are to explore your inner world, to remember, and to expand.

Shamanism is an ancient, earth-based spiritual practice where the land is viewed as a living sacred entity rather than just a resource. Shamanism emphasizes a deep connection with nature, where shamans act as mediators between the human and spirit worlds - including spirits of plants, animals, and landscapes - to restore balance. It's a beautiful, spiritual practice. Working with Sheryl-Dawn and Gael made the process worth it. They listened. They understood. We were all accepted as unique individuals with unique experiences encouraged to contribute because, and as they said, we all had something special to contribute. There was always so much love, compassion, and kindness in each class.

Anyhow, I feel as though the healing process is a lifetime journey as can be seen with my journey. Once we remove the "idea" that healing is done and complete, we can create flow rather than resistance and move about and continue to grow into our never ending future selves.

If this feels right for you, I encourage you to click the links and check out The Institute of Shamanic Medicine's website. Connect with Sheryl-Dawn or Gael. Ask some questions. Try on something new. It's a short 6-month program, but I can guarantee that you will learn amazing new things and experience a whole lot of love, understanding, and connection!

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree

How I Managed to Get Through A 4 Day Water Fast

2026-01-11T15:13:00.000-08:00

In my previous post, I talked about what brought me to do a water fast. Here I will discuss how I managed to get through a 4 day water fast. Well, it was almost four days. It was 6 hours short of four days, exactly 90 hours.

I've been contemplating some of my health concerns (e.g., a decline in energy; weight gain) for the past year, and by the end of the 2025, I wanted to get on board doing something that I could benefit from. I wasn't sure what it was. I simply put out the question to the universe.

I already knew that the pharmaceutical industry was for profit making money off of our illnesses, only covering symptoms and never curing, so I was not about to start any prescription medications even though I contemplated it. Perhaps the Dr would diagnose me with something and give me a miracle cure. Right?! It would be easy, wouldn't it?! I could hand over the time and energy it takes to research about health and nutrition and just follow orders from the Dr. There is something to this, isn't there? Like a parent telling you what to do, and that's all you have to do is simply obey. You don't have to think or take the time and energy to do the work yourself. Perhaps that's why so many go to their Dr for every little thing that arises. He/She must be their God. Right?! I went to school the same (if not more) amount of years a Dr did? Is my knowledge garbage? Absolutely not! And what about your own divine wisdom? Is that garbage? No! We have been taught that the authority to our bodies and minds and anything else we do is outside of ourselves. This is, absolutely, not true.

I also began, seriously, considering the natural supplement industry. There was this huge push to use natural supplementation especially for the individuals that were suffering from symptoms of Covid or who received the Covid vaccine and boosters. There was an immense push after Covid which actually made me more skeptical about this industry, an industry that I trusted for so many years. Once it dawned on me, I began researching who actually owned these so called natural supplement companies. They were the same companies that owned most of the mega-corporations and conglomerates like Nestle, Proctor & Gamble, and Bayer: the food industry and the pharmaceutical industry that continues to keep us sick. I realized then that to achieve better health, supplementation as well as pharmaceuticals was not the way to go. I tried it, though. Tried all the "women's health" supplements for menopause but I still struggled.

I just want to note that there are many small independent companies (that don't easily populate on Google) that sell supplements that I buy, so I am not against supplements. You need to do your own due-diligence when you purchase a product. Neither am I completely against pharmaceuticals. I would definitely use medications for surgery, for example. I feel that we "rely" on external synthetic sources just like many of us rely on a allopathic Dr or even an ND to "tell" us what we need. We've forgotten how to listen to ourselves. It's time to let go of this external authority and go inward with your own internal authority or sovereignty.

Anyway, as soon as I saw a free water fast scroll through my social media feed, it felt right and I jumped on board. With daily support calls and a support group, I knew I would be able to get through it without my mind talking myself out of it.

Here is how it all went. January 4th at 8 pm I started the fast.

Day 1 (Hours 12-32): I was already 12 hours into the fast by 8 am, so I was very happy. I felt fine upon waking but the first thing that triggered my mood, was that I couldn't have honey or cream in my coffee. I love honey and cream in my coffee, and it was like a huge damper that plagued my mind. I tried to shake it off, but after tasting black coffee, I almost opted to dump it, but I knew the black coffee may help with any withdrawals. So I made sure I drank it, but soon after I got a headache and it started out intense right off the bat. I tried to soothe it not understanding why I got it so quickly. Eventually, I realized it was from the lack of sugar carbs my brain was craving. Honey like grapes and some tropical fruit cause huge glucose spikes. I will think about these things when I am not fasting and how to pair foods better. By noon, I started to get brain fog; it was a fuzzy feeling, like I had this cloud hanging over my head. I went to bed that night with a massive headache and an icepack which was swapped out every 4-5 hours for a cold one.

Day 2 (Hours 32-56): The headache persisted. I got "waves" of pain and nausea almost to the point of vomiting. I really struggle during the day. I had very small moments of feeling okay, but went right back into those waves of pain. My sinus pain started this day and major jaw or TMJ pain. I was almost freaking out trying to figure out how I could escape the pain. Absolutely nothing relieved it. I was taking electrolytes, but I was at the point if I took anything more than water, I'd throw it up. Towards the late afternoon I had a teaspoon of nut butter. We were given options, "fasting foods" as they were called, that would not break your fast but may support you to get through the fast. The nut butter did nothing for the aches and pains but it did taste good, even that small amount. I went to bed with another icepack which was swapped out constantly throughout the night. I was constantly up almost every hour or every other hour with the pain in my head. It was throbbing so bad that I wanted to give up. Then I remembered the words from Dr Mindy Pelz. She said, "lean into the pain." When she spoke these words, I wasn't quite sure what she meant by "pain". Pain during a fast? Well, now I know! I calmed my breathing down, my heart rate slowed down and I fell asleep only t wake somewhere between 3 and 4 am with an incredible memory of the most vivid dream. I'll share that another time. It was a dream of a fallen angel. The details of the wings and the span of the wings were incredible! Just, WOW.

Day 3 (Hours 56-80): Some relief came on day three. I still had the headache; it was not as intense but it was intense enough to continue with ice packs and dim lights. I had one teaspoon of MCT and one teaspoon of pure butter in my black coffee. These were also considered fasting foods that "may" help me get through the fast. I am not sure if they helped, but psychologically they seemed to make me "feel" better even with the headache. I refused to take any sort of headache relief. I wanted the full benefits from the fast even if it caused so much pain. I also had nothing in my stomach and didn't want to cause problems with my kidney's or liver. This would change so much if I took these medications while my body was doing it's best eliminating dead and malfunctioning cells and healing the gut. Dr Mindy Pelz discussed the benefits daily and they stuck in my head. That was my goal! I wasn't about to give in to the pain. I had about 5 green organic olives without any pimentos - food that was on the fasting food list. As long as it was high in fat, no sugar, and very low in protein. Fats were my friend because they don't raise your blood glucose and that was key to the fast! This day at 3:30 ish in the afternoon, I had an incredible vision, a wood dragon in water!

Day 4 (Hours 80-90): On day four, I felt better than day 3. The fog had cleared. I felt good enough to bend over and grab the scale and finally weigh myself. After I faced the scale and recorded my findings, I stepped into my home office and began goal setting. It was nothing elaborate. This was simple but disciplined self-care. I realized through this fast, actually on day one, how I neglected myself for so many years. Everyone came before me, mostly my husband who actually seems to take a lot of work. Another goal set with some boundaries. By 2 pm that afternoon, I quit the fast and dove into a healthy cup of warm beef bone broth. I added one tablespoon of butter and about three good pinches of mineralized sea salt. It was delicious!

I still had the headache but I knew that at some point soon it would subside. It was subsiding slowly. I fell asleep for about two hours. When I woke up at about 4 pm, I was so excited. I knew I was going to eat. My plate consisted of 1/2 avocado, one boiled egg, 1/4 c kefir, and 1/2-3/4 cup sauerkraut. The meal was delightful! I needed to get in another meal filled with protein but I had to wait for at least an hour or so. I chose to wait until morning and have a protein filled breakfast of grass-fed, grass-finished, pasteur raised beef steak, eggs, 1/2 avocado, kefir, and sauerkraut. Dr Mindy Pelz mentioned that it was best not to eat when dark because our melatonin increases and digestion decreases. I know this may not be an option for everyone especially when you live up here in Canada, but I chose to wait until morning.

Day five, I felt energized, happy, joyful, calm, and so clear-headed. I felt "lighter." Lighter in mind and body, like some lingering clouds had lifted. It was in a very peaceful, positive space.

(Here is a list of some of the symptoms I experienced throughout this long fast as well as the intermittent fasting and weekly 36 hour fasts that I've continued with: cystic acne, rashes, dermatitis, headaches, TMJ pain, sinus pain, body aches, and on longer fasts diarrhea. I've also experienced clarity of thought, positive emotions, high physical energy, creativity, a sense of calm and serenity, and a deeper connection with spirit).

During the fast, I drank regular filtered water and Gerolsteiner mineralized water. I had electrolytes throughout the day and I had tea sparingly due to nausea, besides the other fasting foods I mentioned. As for exercise, I was just trying to get through the days. I walked on the treadmill on day one, but that was it. I never felt hungry at all until I was about 80 hours into the fast. Immediately after the fast, I started to make better food choices, planning ahead in regard to what I was going to eat and "how" I was going to eat them. Fiber food in the gut "before" you eat fat or protein slows down the glucose spikes. I will remember this well. Thanks Mindy!

Much love and until we meet again!

What Brought Me to Do A 90 Hour Water Fast

2026-01-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

What brought me to do a 90 hour water fast?

I went to the cardiologist sometime in August of last year and with the blood work my triglycerides were up. I told him that my mom and her two sisters have all had myocardial infarctions. In other words, heart attacks. With my cholesterol and triglycerides up, he immediately said that I should go on a "high" dose of statins. He didn't discuss diet, exercise, or weight loss, and, perhaps after about four months to come back and see him with a new set of blood work. He went straight to statins. I expected my glycerides to be up and I knew that I wasn't giving myself much self-care. At the same time, I was on guard about what the cardiologist would say and how I would react.

Working as a student nurse and as a licenced RN in a LTC facility, there were so many women (especially) in the facility with dementia. Guess what they were taking? Statins. I kept asking myself, there's got to be a reason why so many women are in the LTC facilities. Why? I didn't want to be one of them.

Even before getting into nursing, I was always interested in nutrition and herbs and homeopathy. I grew up with grandparents that ate dandelion leaf salads, make homemade yogurt, drank dandelion coffee, ate huckleberries, gooseberries, and mushrooms they picked in the forest, and so much more! So when I see this problem in a hospital or a LTC facility, I wonder what was up. A lot of research that I've been currently finding is the link between statins and dementia and Alzheimer's. This research in not in your MSM for a reason and I wouldn't trust heading to CNN or BBC (for example) for any type of honest journaling. With a decrease in cholesterol, the brain is lacking in fuel. So, I am definitely skeptical of statins and all other pharmaceuticals, for that matter.

Obviously, I said "no", point blank and said that I will figure it out with diet and exercise or other. He definitely didn't like my response, and then continued to discuss how this was "genetic" and that I should take the statins "or else the future may be grim." Once again, I said no politely. Then he offered to take the calcium test for heart disease; it's called the coronary artery calcium scan. I said I would opt in to do that, for sure. He then stated that his office would call or email me. I still haven't heard from them.

How I see it. You go with what they tell you to do. If you resist or want to try something alternative or natural, they clean you off the schedule. I'll let you know if they get back to me.

Anyway, I knew when I went in that my blood work would be off because I knew my diet, but the reason I went in was because I had an elevated heart rate at one point for about 8-10 minutes. I was wearing a FitBit. I couldn't get in to see a Dr because Covid arrived and with all the closures, I wasn't having any luck seeing a Dr. As well, my family physician, during Covid, left her practice and a new Dr didn't arrive for at least another year. At the time, we couldn't go the walk-in medical clinics either. So my reason to see a specialist was to ask about this sustained heartrate or tachycardia. Although I mentioned it, he kept on talking as though it meant nothing. I clearly felt fine, but what amazes me is that he wouldn't even give an answer to why it happened especially when I was fit at that time. I weighed 130 pounds and my BMI was 19. I was working out with a personal trainer for over a year.

After that tachycardia event, menopause hit in Jan/Feb 2020. Covid already started but closures didn't happen until March 2020. With one thing after the other, eventually I couldn't even see my own Dr let alone a specialist. Menopause was really ramping up with symptoms and so I simply tolerated it. What was I to do? I was taking master's degree courses in nursing at the time too. I was busy and stressed as usual and trying to manage the symptoms. But at some point I began to worry, and I started considering Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Even with all the great stuff you see on social media, I still questioned it's efficacy. You see, I've been on several types of medications in the past. What I've learned from taking them is that the longer I was on them, the higher the dose would get. Dr's were always willing to go up in dose but never willing to discuss decreasing the dose.

At some point, I found Westcoast Women's Clinic. I had to do something; my mood swings were insane! So I paid out of my own pocket since this was a private clinic. I got onboard with one of the Dr's at the clinic. I started HRT. I was on both low dose estriol and progesterone for about 12-15 months. I felt somewhat better and decided to go off the treatment plan. The symptoms were not gone; they subsided slightly but I also started to meditate and walk regularly with my dog, so I honestly didn't know if it was my change in behaviour or the HRT.

Going off of the HRT didn't really change much. I felt the same as always but meditation and walking helped my mood. However, I was also working as an RN in very high stress environments. As a Quarantine Officer with PHAC with abusive travellers; an HCAP Vocational Instructor with entitled adult students (funded by the government) and no pay for overtime work; in management; and as a charge nurse. When you're working in such abusive situations without support from management, it takes a toll on you.

Then I heard about a story of an RN in her late 50's working at the LTC facility I was working in. She had a stroke at work. Most of the HCA's at this facility were amazing and so supportive. They've seen nurses come and go often over the years and were really sad when they heard I was thinking about leaving. They shared so much personal stuff with me; it was great! Anyway, this nurse who had a stroke due to the overwhelm in stress made me consider if this was the direction I should stay in. At the same time, my values didn't align well with the healthcare system: shortages of nurses, favouritism, management bullying, patient care compromised continuously, pushing vaccines that I wasn't aligned with, mass push of pharmaceuticals by pharmacists . . . I was at the age where I said to myself, "this wasn't my fight." I didn't have the energy for the amount of change that needed to be done. So I started to consider a career shift, but what? I stopped applying for positions and went on pause in late 2024.

Anyway, a bit off course, but my health was not the same. Energetically, I was tired. I didn't have the stamina anymore to "push" like I always had and probably for the majority of my life. That "push" was no longer there. I, also, over the years and since menopause, started gaining weight. Inflammation started to show with acne and rosacea. All the experimental fad diets and changes in the past prior to 55, worked: vegan diets, savoury and fruit juicing fasts, raw food diet, lemon-cayenne juicing diet, as well as holistic methods like colonic irrigation, acupuncture, homeopathy . . .. All of it worked to some degree. But at 55-6, nothing seemed to work anymore. I just kept gaining weight. That whole less food more exercise stopped working too, but I didn't even have the energy to get to the gym anymore and do the usual "drill" in such a boring environment.

I started to reconsider the entire HRT thing, but intuitively I was very skeptical. I said to myself, how could our body's be so "wrong" that we need to take drugs to get through menopause? I kept thinking that our body intelligence is smart, but we've been conditioned for decades that someone outside of us knows better, but do they? No. Absolutely not. I kept asking for answered. Then this book came to me, Breast Thermography Revolution: Boot Camp for an Estrogen Free Life. The author, Wendy Sellens, DACM, LAc, heavily discusses the environmental estrogens in our environment and the reasons for so many menopausal symptoms and causes of cancer.

Basically, Sellens states, we are ingesting too many xenoestrogens which are foreign chemical compounds in our environment both natural (e.g., plants) and synthetic (such as BPA and pesticides), that mimic the body's natural estrogen by binding to estrogen receptors disrupting normal hormone function. These ecoestrogens act as endocrine disruptors, interfering with hormone signaling and potentially leading to issues like reproductive problems, increased cancer risk (e.g., breast and uterine cancers), immune dysfunction, and developmental delays, as they can accumulate in fat tissues and affect hormone-sensitive organs such as the pancreas and liver.

With that, I decided to take her advice and not take synthetic HRT. We don't need more estrogen! We need balance. From her book, I started to clean up my environment replacing soaps and moisturizers and purchasing a water filtration system (the clean up continues). Thus, I continue to pursue health in a different manner.

My biggest concern was a lack of energy and the overwhelm of fatigue. I considered the breast implants that I had and the problems that they caused between 2008 and 2011. A little history. I had surgery in 2005, implanting McGHAN (which was later acquired by Allergan) 10 textured BIOCELL breast implants. I started to get ill around 2008. That's when I had a noticeable decline in health.

I reached out to my family Dr. She said I was "getting old"! I was 44 years old at the time. Go figure! So I went to see random Dr's in the area. To get in, I just said my family Dr was busy and I couldn't get in. To make the story short, they said I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome only because one of the Dr said they didn't know what else it could be. I again asked these Dr's, could it be the implants? They all said, no. In 2011 after I got an epiphany during a mediation practice, I had a capsulectomy with explantation.

At the time in 2011 the internet showed that the BIOCELL textured implants only "caused the symptoms of non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (BIA-ALCL). It wasn't until 2019 that the FDA requested a worldwide recall of Allergan's BIOCELL textured breast implants and tissue expanders due to a link with Breast Implant-Associated Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma, a rare immune system cancer.

Thinking about this energy loss, and the previous implants, I started to go on a mission on how I could naturally heal myself. I got another insight, if the pharmaceutical industry is for profit why wouldn't the supplement industry be for profit. The supplement industry simply gives you a false positive that they are helping you, but are they? I started to realize that both the pharmaceutical and supplement industry were not there to help but to profit. Certainly, there are times and places for these. I am not completely against them, but I think we've fallen into a trap of "relying" on them and lost our innate ability to take our own advice by asking our bodies what we need. This is called self-care and self-empowerment - when we work to understand ourselves intuitively and follow that divine guidance.

So the mission continued, and all of a sudden Dr Mindy Pelz (chiropractor) was offering a 3-day water fast. I enrolled immediately (instinctively) for January 5 start day. She was offering daily support calls to explain what was actually happening in our bodies while we were going to do the fast, and she offered a private group for us to share our journey.

The education that I received from Dr Mindy Pelz and the coaches and others that had done several water fasts was immense and incredible! I've done various fasts in my past, but over twenty years ago. I've abused my body over the years, took it for granted, but, most of all, I took care of everyone else around me and neglected my own self-care. Something shifted inside of me. I finally committed to my own self-care and weight loss goals. I bought her book Fast Like A Girl. I jumped on YouTube and binge-watched videos and podcasts on fasting. They all talked about blood sugars, insulin and so much more! It made sense especially for menopause and post-menopausal women. The water fast started out as a 3-day water fast or 72 hour water fast, but I continued for 90 hours instead.

So 2026 will be my journey into consistent fasting and learning about myself and how I work or operate while doing it all which is all about self-care. I am excited and feeling self-empowered with my decisions. In another post, I will share with you what I went through and all the symptoms I dealt with during the 90 hour water fast. I will share information about each day and how I managed to get through it. It was tough!!! Really tough, but I did it. The support with much discipline and determination helped.

Cheers to your health! I hope you find your groove too for better health and longevity.

Much love and until we meet again!

How the Year of the Wood Snake Influenced My Awareness

2026-01-10T15:28:00.000-08:00

Let say goodbye to the year of the Wood Snake, and I'll share with you how the Wood Snake influenced my awareness.

The Wood Snake in 2025 was about introspection, wisdom, and transformation; a time for slow, strategic growth and shedding of the old skin. 2026 is the year of the Fire Horse which shifts dramatically to dynamic action, passion, independence, and fast momentum, demanding bold moves, social engagement, and outward expression. Transitioning from quiet change to accelerated progress. The key contrast Snake's subtle internal focus versus Horse's fiery outward and fast paced energy. The Horse also symbolizes power, freedom, independence, and journey, acting as a spiritual guide.

Does any of this align with you? Do your life experiences seem congruent with this or any of the Chinese zodiac?

How can I sum up this last year, 2025, the year of the wood snake?

Well, it really started in 2023 when my career started to turn upside down. This was the year of the Rabbit: peace, prosperity, and hope, bringing characteristics like calmness, kindness, and ingenuity, with a focus on healing and quiet contemplation after challenging times. Let me explain. I thought I got a pretty great job as a Director of Care in a LTC facility up in the Kootenay's. My husband and I found a place out in Winfield after I had been working for about a month. Although it was a bit of a distance to travel for work, the house was cabin-like and out in the woods. I wanted to be in a scenic place surrounded by nature with a lot of calm.

As I worked the job, something continued to smell and feel off. The energy was heavy, dark and devious. But I kept thinking it was only my imagination. "Maybe I was simply off." I wanted this job so bad. It was a great leadership position for me, and I dove into it full force loving every bit of it, initially. Yet, the staff was off. Authenticity and truthfulness wasn't there. I had experience after experience that made me question SO many things. I just couldn't put my finger on it, but then I found out that there were six previous DOC's in less than two years. That was an alert right there. No one told me this upon hiring. There was also something seriously wrong with the health care licencing it received. If they were so safe, why did they keep delaying the replacement of the ceiling lifts or manual lift that continued to break down. It was a hazard to both the HCA's and the patients. Then I started to dig. I started pulling out the policies that were created and started to look at the specifics. Although dates were changed to the current year, the policies were old and never revised. The more I dug into this and shared them with management, the more they questioned my ability. It was very clear that the moment I shared these things with management, the less they liked me. Not soon after, I was relieved. This was such a blow. It was absolutely unexpected. I was dumbfounded and discombobulated.

I can't forget to say this, though, there was reptilian blood there. If you don't know what I am talking about, then this post may not be for you. Again, my imagination says that "maybe I'm just seeing things", but it wasn't the case. It was also part of that town.

As I mentioned, being relieved from my position was confusing, and it really messed with my headspace, no matter what went on. Why, because prior to this position I worked for a College as a Vocational Instructor in 2022. I was given a lead position and a lot of freedom to recreate educational PowerPoints, add to them as I saw fit . . . etc., but I realized that the work I did was way over the 35 hours per week. The college called this 35 hour week, "work-life-balance." Yet, the majority of us theory instructors and clinical instructors were working longer hours without pay. Even in the team meetings this was addressed, but the Lead to the HCAP program and the Assistant to the Dean said nothing and did nothing. It was as though they didn't hear us. But most of the instructors were apologetic in regard to working free overtime. They'd say "it's okay" and "I don't mind." However, when discussions were private, they actually did mind but didn't honestly share their views for fears of being fired (or rather pushed out of the system). As well, previous instructors were simply giving A marks for the students to pass the course. I gather this looks better for the college. You can see this on the learning management system called Moodle. I didn't simply give them an A grade. I actually marked it by the grading criterion or rubric and it caused a lot of problem for me via students and the Lead. Anyway, as is who I am, I was vocal about this problem, besides others, but the management didn't like it at all. They also expected that I move without a contract and that was a downright "no."

But there was something else that happened in 2022, that started to shift my perspective about who we really are and what our purpose is here on planet Earth. You can read about it here.

So by late September of 2023, after the Director of Care position, I started to reconsider my entire nursing career. I was an advocate, have always been, supporting the underdog, but also supporting morality and ethics - what was right. If something was not right, if someone was not treated well, if I could sense inauthenticity, cover ups and lies . . . I would address it. But the healthcare system did not like this. In any event, I took 5 months off and by February 2024 I felt I should give my career another year. Most likely because I needed to justify the amount of money I spent financially in the nursing program completing a Bachelor and Master's degree, besides relocating myself to another town for four years. I didn't want to give up.

So in 2024, I got hired as a charge nurse at a LTC facility. The Director of Care and ADOC were both amazing, and initially it was really good, but something shifted with head management - the one's 'above' the DOC and ADOC. There was more pressure to reduce costs (besides other things). More requests to work longer hours and shifts, but they would always be without breaks. As a nurse without a lunch replacement, you can't abandon your patients. It's a licensing thing - it's called abandoning your patients. So here, once again, I was working 12 hours shifts (actually longer because nurses have to be there earlier to take shift report) without any breaks including lunches. I was stocking shelves, calling physicians, pharmacies, hospitals, and families . . . and the list goes on. By second week, I was training new nurses. When these trainee nurses saw the workload, they literally ran. A nurse from Alberta, a nurse from Grand Forks. They said "no way . . . this is crazy what we are expected to do." I stuck with it for a while. I liked the leadership position, but being in adrenaline or fight and flight all day was wearing on me. And without the support of the Executive Director and getting officially paid for the overtime work, I finally left, once again in September but in September 2024.

At this point, I told my husband that I wasn't going to apply for another RN position. I raised my hands in surrender and lowered my head in defeat. I searched for the word to describe my feelings at the time. Defeat is what I was feeling.

By January 2025, the year of the Wood Snake, I started to do a lot of reflecting about what I really wanted out of life. It was brutally important because I just turned sixty in December, and I couldn't keep up this type of lifestyle anymore. I didn't want the rat race. I didn't want the hurry and rushed days. My energy was so weak. I was deeply fatigued. I knew I couldn't do a fast-paced lifestyle without getting into a dis-eased state.

When I look at my past life, I was always on high-drive, filled with adrenaline. Living through developmental trauma, multiple rapes, multiple car accidents, domestic violence, raising boys on my own, drinking alcohol weekly . . . I was constantly living in survival mode; that genuinely hurts or damages the nervous system. I've done a great amount of healing on this and I have moved forward well from it. However, I knew I was starting to pay for the damage to my nervous system with exhaustion, body pain, tension headaches, TMJ pain, inflammation, and a weakened immune system. Signs and symptoms were showing up more and more, but for many years, I ignored my body and bulldozed through at my expense.

I really had to think hard. I had to think deeply about how I wanted the next stage of my life to look? Should I continue with the adrenaline up and down lifestyle or seek something new like more solitude. Something that had a sense of calm and peace. The current social lifestyle doesn't sell us that type of a lifestyle of calm and peace. It sells us a lifestyle of speed, hurry, and more . . . more adrenaline and chaos.

So what is it going to be?

I dropped my guard. I just allowed. Whatever came, came. I started sketching in 2025. It brought me into a place of deep reflection, peace, and serenity. I began to meditate regularly. I thought about the menopausal symptoms and weight gain I struggle with and worked with them (somewhat), but I didn't really begin anything seriously quite yet. I wasn't yet fully committed. (This started in January of 2026 and you can read about it here.) I started baking. I grew a garden realizing that it wasn't something that I liked much. I love to grow herbs, peas, cucumbers, sweet peppers, and onions. Although a garden has great benefits and it sounded good at the time, it is time consuming and laborious, and in all honesty, if I can find a local organic farmer, I'd rather buy from them. I would, however, love to grow a flower garden.

During this year, I also deeply reflected on my shadow, and many beliefs about self-care, income, relationships, current values, and, of course, my career as an RN. I was and still am ready to release whatever was/is going to be revealed. And so this healing continues on as usual. It's never about perfection, it's about continued practice.

Anyway, the influences of the Wood Snake, introspection, wisdom, and transformation; a time for slow, strategic growth and shedding of the old skin, was my energy. I embodied it fully. I allowed myself to lean into it completely knowing that it is now more important than ever to embody greater amounts of light as we move forward as a collective.

How about you? Have you reflected on the year of the Wood Snake and how it influenced your awareness?

2026 is the year of the Fire Horse which shifts dramatically to dynamic action, passion, independence, and fast momentum, demanding bold moves, social engagement, and outward expression. This transition could be difficult for some, but I'd just say, go with the flow like the water flowing gracefully in a river. You don't need to hurry. You don't need to rush. You don't need to compromise your nervous system. Allow whatever you create to morph with ease and perhaps some discipline if that's what you need. Remember though, the Horse acts as a spiritual guide. You have a team of light around you, but I love the shamanic aspect of speaking with the spirit of animals. Speak to the spirit of a horse, whether you are next to a live one or imagining the energy of one in your mind. You could be surprised at what is revealed.

Much love and until next time!

Thoughts Matter. What Time Line Do You Want to Be On?

2025-09-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

Thoughts Matter. What Time Line Do You Want to Be On?

The dark, demonic and Satanic forces are out in full force like nothing before with the assassination of Charlie Kirk, the lack of understanding about what happened to Charlie (e.g., the lack of an autopsy, the lack of clear images, the lack of ballistics), the questionable behaviour of Erika Kirk especially with the new information concerning her past as well as her immediate family's past. . . there are so many inconsistencies regarding this case, it can make your head spin. I am assuming that's what these demonic forces wanted - knowing that social media would "fly with it" and many would come up with their own theories creating mass confusion.

But, it is true, the inconsistencies, the speed to move forward (almost like the need to hide Charlie) and the strange videos. Take for instance the reel of Charlie's body in the coffin. Erika's hands endowed with her rings stroking Charlie's embalmed hands; the immediate take over by Erika of Turning Point . . . and so many more. Clearly the Christians will take her side without thought and condemn others that question her behaviour, but rather than get information fed to us, we should all be questioning what just happened, whether we are Christian or not. I've never experienced an embalming and funeral or celebration of life happen with such speed.

I watched the majority of "Turning Point Remembering Charlie Kirk Memorial" on YouTube, but when Erika Kirk spoke, something felt seriously off. The only thing that kept me from disbelieving something was off was the portrayal that Charlie and Erika appeared to have such a beautiful love affair. And it truly did look like a beautiful fairytale that many women wanted. But what was she hiding? Was she intimidated or afraid about something? Was this a plan? Was she in on it all? Was she a handler or was she part of MK-Ultra program and thoroughly trained to do what she needed to do. When you've gone down enough rabbit holes, anything is possible.

One thing for sure, the assassination of Charlie wasn't random. It was fully planned. Whether a bullet from behind or an explosion on his chest, the question I have is, how long ago was it planned. Was this a set up for Christians to believe Charlie was the second coming? As strange as it may sound, others have questioned it too, but Charlie is not the second coming? With all the symbols from many years ago, or you can call them advanced notifications, it proves to me that we absolutely live in a simulated reality that has been planned out for decades in advance for our learning. Why? We've done this before; I believe this is our fourth time. Anyway, the symbolism is all around us and it is vividly clear if we are paying attention.

The list of atrocities and extreme wicked acts does not end with the execution of Charlie Kirk, though. There are the burning of Christian Churches and killings of Christians, people in politics that verbally state they want the downfall of the West both USA and Canada, Communism implemented into the educational systems, the sexualization of our children . . . It feels absolutely crazy and out of control.

There are a whole lot of theories about everything and you can go down hundreds and hundreds of rabbit holes (like I did) to understand them deeply. However, what's worse is that this noise is causing a lot of chaos, confusion, division, distraction, anger, frustration, and rage, and it's keeping us away from the overall intention of the dark forces, distraction from our God-Self - who we truly are.

There is a lot of distraction by the perpetrators, the destructive forces of the Anti-Life, Anti-God, or Anti-Kryst, and social media is the place to be if you want to get swept up in all of the commotion, like the tasmanian devil from the Looney Tunes. It's so easy to go into a trance with continued and endless doom scrolling when you are on social media with fear settling into your mind, body, and heart.

I got caught up in all of it for about 7-8 days. My emotions were up and down. Then I took a step back: one, so that I could collect myself, my thoughts and my feelings; two, so I could clarify what was most important to me.

When we look at the external world, the chaos, the warfare, and the immense amount of separation, it's easy to feel hopeless, to wonder if we are doing enough. These energies can be overwhelming. However, many of us are tired of it all and feel a powerful push to step up, open our heart wider, and to speak our truth. These feelings are actually pushing us to have a deeper connection with our soul. How beautiful is that.

Just a reminder for anyone who is awake and on the journey of ascension, healing, and ancestral inherited burden release, "thoughts matter." Thoughts are things and thoughts turn into matter. Thoughts matter. You also need to consider what timeline you want to be on. Seriously speaking. Right now, more than ever before, it is a crazy game going on with our thoughts and feelings being pulled in many different directions. Who's right? Who knows. Will you ever find out? No one really knows.

No doubt, seeking the truth is important. However, not at the expense of being ridden with fear and obsessive negative thoughts. Remember that this is how we create matter. Self-mastery is being able to ride the wave no matter how rough it gets, observe what is happening, and still stay centered in a place of peace. Breathe, breathe, and breathe some more. Know where your focus is.

This is not the time to focus on the chaos, division, distraction, confusion . . . You are also not in Lala land accessing only your crown chakra without being rooted into mother earth. We must be more vigilant than ever. We must keep conscious awareness at the forefront, be the observer and feel without attachment, and keep our focus on the right relationship with Self and the right relationship to God Source or the Universe. This is how we move through the chaos. This is how we ascend inward. Be the frequency of light in the timeline you wish to be on.

Peace be with your mind, body and heart.

United Nations Should NOT Intervene in Civil Wars

2025-09-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

The United Nations Should Not Intervene in Civil Wars.

A debate from 2018 that you should read and how relevant it is today.

The United Nations Peacekeeping Operations (PKO) have the primary responsibility to promote and protect human rights and are guided by basic principles of consent, impartiality, and non-use of force except in self-defence or when mandated (United Nations, n.d.).

Failure to align their mission with these 3 basic principles, may undermine the peacekeeping operation’s credibility and legitimacy (United Nations, n.d.).

And, that is exactly what the UN Peacekeepers and UN humanitarians have done which has led to their disgrace due to the sexual exploitation and abuse of thousands of women and children!

For at least 20 years, the leadership of the UN has known about the sexual violence and for years it has failed to act (MacLeod, 2016). THIS is what a lack of political will looks like.

A “highly critical study, published by Jordan’s ambassador to the UN assembly [which] was endorsed by …secretary general and Ghanaian diplomat Kofi Annan condemned the ‘abhorrent acts’ as a ‘violation of the fundamental duty of care’” (Bowcott, 2005).

The indignity caused by the misconduct of UN forces in ravaged communities such as Haiti, Sierra Leone, Bosnia, Cambodia, and East Timor has become a political problem (Bowcott).

In Liberia, troops were regularly having sex with girls aged as young as 12, sometimes in the mission's operations buildings (Bowcott).

In Sri Lanka, one victim told the UN investigators, “I didn’t even have breasts.” She was forced to have sex with over 50 peacekeepers (Allen-Ebrahimian, 2017).

And, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, peacekeepers were said to have offered deserted orphans as little as 2 eggs for sexual encounters (Bowcott).

What’s truly sad and disturbing about this is that the UN has been authorized to enter a broken society to help it, but, instead, they breached the trust of the civilians they were to protect.

A UN peacekeeping force deployed in 1989 (to 1990) in Namibia was considered a success in the UN eyes. They stated that they “build credibility by being honest and not glossing over obvious problems…” (Ruggeri, Dorussen, & Gizelis, 2017, p. 165).

Isn’t that ironic how these words of reverence could be documented in a published scholarly article in 2017 when they knew full well what was going on—the violation of human rights: specifically, the violation against women and children.

Peacekeepers repeatedly take advantage of young children during times of emotional and physical distress; children that have no other option than to engage in “survival sex, which is sexual acts to obtain food, money and protection” (Murphy, 2006). These exploited children get thrown a dollar for a bit of food (Bowcott, 2005). The UN can only send peacekeepers back to the country they live in (Murphy, 2006). The punishment for peacekeepers falls on the home country, and these pathetic crimes go unpunished (Murphy, 2017). As was in Haiti, from 2004-2007, a group of children were forced into a sex ring by 134 Sri Lankan peacekeepers (Murphy, 2017). Of these, 114 peacekeepers returned to Sri Lanka, without prosecution for their injustices (Murphy, 2017). Instead of the UN intervening, they played the political correctness game, to keep relations with other nations, and failed to conduct investigations to protect the children and condemn the atrocities (Whalan, 2013).

The UN should ensure rightful punishment is delivered, by taking “swift, decisive, and necessary action to protect civilians from predatory peacekeepers” (Whalan, 2017). Although, after twenty years of trying to “address sexual … abuse by peacekeepers, the UN Security Council [introduced] Resolution 2272” (Whalan, 2017, p.2). This resolution recognizes that sexual abuse causes harm and decreases the effectiveness of peacekeeping missions (Whalan, 2017). But the resolution has made no amendments to existing UN policies, which shows that the UN is not making the changes that are necessary to protect victims (Whalan, 2017).

The UN claims that its primary purpose is to “[suppress] acts of aggression or other breaches of the peace” (United Nations, n.d., Purposes and Principles, para.1). But even in countries where peacekeeping missions were deemed successful, such as during the brutal ten-year civil war in Sierra Leone, women were “kidnapped from their homes … and forced to act as sex slaves for the troops” (Butcher, 2003, para. 8). History is repeating itself, as no prosecutions occurred for the sexual abuse and human rights violations (Butcher, 2003). The lack of prosecution caused an escalation of human rights violations by peacekeepers (Uddin, 2014), with reports of continued misconduct “in the Congo, Ivory Coast, Libya, Mali, Sudan, and Bosnia” (Murphy, 2017).

Many women do not report cases of rape or abuse “due to shame or fear” (Guruge, 2012, p.41). For example, in statistical reports conducted in the United Kingdom, it was found that only one out of seven rapes will be reported (MacLeod, 2016), and if that same number is applied to the 311 cases documented by the UN from 2016, this will equate to 2200 victims (MacLeod, 2016). The UN also masks the number of victims exploited, as multiple victims and perpetrators are counted as a singular case (Grady, 2016).

UNiTE to End Violence Against Women is a campaign initiated by the UN (United Nations Secretary-General’s Campaign to Unite to End Violence Against Women, n.d.). It is unfortunate, that the UN holds a double standard and turns a blind eye to the pain and suffering that their troops inflict.

Is there anything more horrifying than being raped by the very people who are put in place to keep safety and peace? By those who hide behind a mask of humanitarianism? The presence of the UN is to serve as protection for those who are in a vulnerable state, not to cause more harm (Murphy, 2006). As stated by Rex Murphy “Sometimes the UN is dirtier than the stables it is asked to clean” (2017).

The UN’s position in civil wars has failed to project a difference in the outcome of conflicting parties (Fortna, 2004), and has consisted of tremendous failure.

An example of a failed peacekeeping mission was in Rwanda…

An informant was recruited who outlined the plans for the genocide (Howard, 2008). This information was faxed to UN headquarters, but the document was dismissed (Howard, 2008). In three months’ time, all of the events that the fax predicted came true (Howard, 2008). The UN headquarters questioned the downfall of the organization if another peacekeeping mission failed, therefore the UN remained invested in the Rwandan genocide, but provided minimal participation in efforts to preserve their reputation (Howard, 2008). The UN eventually withdrew their limited forces, leaving Rwanda to suffer a mass ethnic cleansing on behalf of the callous interests of the UN officials (Howard, 2008).

The UN has demonstrated throughout their failed missions that they lacked effective problem-solving skills, forces, and interest-often mobilizing to a new conflict instead of contributing to the present conundrum (Howard, 2008). These systemic problems fall on the decisions of the UN Secretariat (Howard 2008), proving that incompetent individuals can fall into leadership positions. The organization of the UN peacekeeping force has “deteriorated to a point where it cannot be trusted due to poor leadership, a lack of discipline, and operational deficiencies” (Aljazeera, 2017, para. 11). UN peacekeeping prevents political solutions by favouring opposing belligerents (Peter, 2015), thereby seeking out interventions to benefit their own positions. “Furthermore, the belligerents are commonly not states that are susceptible to internal pressures, but instead non-state actors who may have ethnic, political, religious, or economic objectives” (Goskel, 2007, p.2).

The UN has failed to learn from their mistakes and many countries that received UN peacekeepers suffered from their inadequate support, leaving these countries in despair (Howard, 2008). The UN’s idea of successful missions can be translated into learning opportunities, as the UN has demonstrated that it “is a slow and, sadly, an inept learner, and an even slower doer” (Goskel, 2007). Moreover, the UN has explored two types of peacekeeping in civil wars- robust and enforcement, and both forms have issues.

Robust Peacekeeping entails that peacekeepers may only engage in combat when directly threatened and with consent from all parties (Goskel, 2007). This leads to civilian fatalities and places the UN peacekeepers in a position of enforcement, which is not their purpose (Tardy, 2011).

Currently, the UN is moving towards enforcement peacekeeping, which aims to use force; therefore, defying the three basic principles of peacekeeping- consent, fairness, and non-use of force except when mandated (Peter, 2015). Enforcement peacekeeping mimics military efforts as used in Afghanistan or Iraq, which have negative long-term implications (Peter, 2015). The problems with UN peacekeeping has deteriorated the UN’s reputation and has jeopardized future peacekeeping efforts (Peter, 2015).

"True success is not just preventing another war, but the ability to create a self-sustaining peace” (Fortna, 2004, p. 284). If the UN does not create a sustainable peace upon leaving the country, a vicious cycle of poverty impacts combatants to turn to alternative measures (Ballentine & Sherman, 2003). Combatants may refinance through smuggling, extortion of businesses, poorly regulated global trade, and investment markets (Ballentine & Sherman, 2003). This threatens the long-term prosperity of the war-torn country (Ballentine & Sherman, 2003). Ultimately, the UN has failed miserably in accomplishing a viable peace for many of the countries it has declared to have helped, such as Rwanda, Somalia, Angola, Bosnia, Cambodia, and the Republic of Congo.

Summary: UN interventions during civil wars causes a cascade of turmoil to the individuals of these societies.

When the UN withdraws support from war-torn countries that cannot support themselves economically, rebels obtain financial aid through acquiring goods illicitly. Global buyers may be unaware that these items have been smuggled or extorted. As a result, the increase in globalization may, in fact, be supporting illicit trade, but, also, supporting the rebels in the civil war.

When women are raped, there are health and social ramifications. Women can be shunned and isolated from their communities leading to a life of poverty, and prostitution, which places woman at risk for infection, STI’s, and abuse. When UN peacekeepers impregnate young girls, they abandon their unborn child, providing no financial support, which increases social stigma. Raped women are deemed disgraced for marriage, and in many of these war-torn states, cultural practices indicate that women must be accompanied by a male while in public or to get medical attention. Begging the question: how will these women survive while being condemned for injustices committed against them? Additionally, if a young girl becomes pregnant by a UN peacekeeper, she is unable to go to school. Therefore, she cannot become self-sufficient or provide for her family and community. The child’s health and well-being are directly influenced by the mother’s education. When the mother is uneducated, this threatens the health and education of the child, which is a continuing cycle of suffering and poverty.

Moreover, a child’s development is diminished when faced with the traumatization of rape by UN peacekeepers. These children may have a lack of coping skills, resilience, and support to effectively handle the trauma. As a result, the children may experience developmental delays that not only increase the financial burden of the family but may impede their ability to work and financially support themselves. This poses the risk that these children will have inadequate access to health services. Additionally, they may not be able to economically support and enhance their community because they cannot contribute.

As individuals endure numerous human rights violations while being exploited by the UN, many will face mental health challenges such as PTSD. An increase in qualified medical personnel that are trained to help the victims will be necessary. Low- and middle-income countries have less access to mental health supports, with woman specifically receiving less care. War-torn states may not have certified professionals to deal with the magnitude of traumatized women and their families. By sending foreign medical professionals, further harm may be caused to the victims as they may be reluctant to trust those offering help.

Ultimately, the UN peacekeepers have proven to be untrustworthy during their missions. The UN peacekeepers have abused their position of power and have failed to protect the civilians of these states, often using them as a weapon of war.

End of debate.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading the full debate. With President Donald John Trump addressing the United Nations this past week, I felt this was important to post.

What was truly appalling, is when the fourth year nursing students listening to both sides of the debate, about whether the UN should or should not intervene in civil wars, they voted in favour to support the UN. Their reasoning was not the debate itself. The majority of the nurses stated that this debate (the one against the UN) was powerful and to the point, and that the speaker presented it in a very clear manner with strength and passion. (Thank you. I appreciate that.) However, they excused the UN, first, because they "couldn't" believe that the UN was "that" bad, and, second, because, as they stated, "the UN does so much for these countries by providing "food and vaccines . . . for the needy."

Are students indoctrinated by the educational system? The students "couldn't believe" that the "UN was that bad." Rather than acknowledge the research collected, they went by their belief systems and everything they learned in college.

Would you trust the UN right now with what is happening in the world? Their track record sucks, and this is only "one" area of discussion. As President Donald John Trump stated during his speech, the UN is destroying humanity, destroying the states, and destroying our countries (paraphrasing). Of course, main street media and the Liberals are ranting about his claims because they can't handle the truth, but Trump’s remarks to the UN are solid and need to be taken seriously.

References

Allen-Ebrahimian, B. (2017, April). UN peacekeepers ran a child sex ring in Haiti. It’s the latest country where blue helmets have sexually abused those they’re supposed to protect. Retrieved from http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/04/14/u-n-peacekeepers-ran-a-child-sex-ring-in-haiti/Media

Ballentine, K., & Sherman., J. (Eds.). (2003) The political economy of armed conflict: Beyond greed and grievance. Boulder, CO: Lynne Rienner Publishing, Inc.

Bowcott, O. (2005, March 24). Report revealed shame of UN peacekeepers: Sexual abuse soldiers ‘must be punished.’ Retrieve from https://www.theguardian.com/world/2005/ mar/25/unitednations

Butcher, T. (2003, January 17). UN troops accused of 'systematic' rape in Sierra Leone. Retrieved from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/sierraleone/1419168/UN-troops-accused-of-systematic-rape-in-Sierra-Leone.html

Congo peacekeepers accused of sex abuse to leave CAR. (2017, June 21). Retrieved from http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2017/06/congo-peacekeepers-accused-sex-abuse-leave-car-170622011227682.html

Fortna, V. P. (2004). Does Peacekeeping Keep Peace? International intervention and the duration of Peace After Civil War. International Studies Quarterly, 48(2), 269-292. doi:10.1111/j.0020-8833.2004.00301.x

Goksel, T. (2007, August 7). UNIFIL – Peacekeepers in the Line of Fire. Retrieved from https://lb.boell.org/sites/default/files/downloads/Goeksel-UNIFIL_-_Peacekeepers_ in_the_Line_of_Fire.pdf

Grady, K. (2016). Sex, statistics, peacekeepers and power: UN data on sexual exploitation and abuse and the quest for legal reform. The Modern Law Review, 79(6), 931-960. doi:10.1111/1468-2230.12225

Guruge, S. (2012). Intimate partner violence: A global health perspective. The Canadian Journal of Nursing Research, 44(4), 36-54. Retrieved from http://www.ingetaconnect. comezproxy.library.ubc.ca/contentone/mcgil/cjnr/2012/00000044/00000004/art00005

Howard, L. M. (2008). UN peacekeeping in civil wars. Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

MacLeod, A. (2016, July 6). The UN has a problem: it’s not just a gender violence, it’s child rape. Retrieved from http://theconversation.com/the-un-has-a-problem-its-not-just-gender-violence-its-child-rape-78429

Murphy, R. (2006). An assessment of UN efforts to address sexual misconduct by peacekeeping personnel. International Peacekeeping, 13(4), 531-546. doi:10.1080/13533310600988820

Murphy, R. (2017, April 21). Shame on the UN. Retrieved from http://www.cbc.ca/news/ thenational/rex-murphy-shame-on-the-un-1.4080976

Peter, M. (2015). Between doctrine and practice: The UN peacekeeping dilemma. Global Governance, 21(3), 351-370. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.epoxy. library.ubc.ca/docview/1703589828?pq-origsite=summon&accountid=14656

Ruggeri, A., Dorussen, H. & Gizelis, T. I. (2017). Winning the peace locally: UN peacekeeping and local conflict. International Organization, 71(1), 163-185. doi:10.1017/S0020818316000333

Tardy, T. (2011). A critique of robust peacekeeping in contemporary peace operations. International Peacekeeping, 18(2) 2011, 152–167. doi:10.1080/13533312.2011.546089

Uddin, M. K. (2014). Human rights violations by UN peacekeepers. Security and Human Rights, 25(1), 130-144. doi:10.1163/18750230-02501006

United Nations. (n.d.) What is peacekeeping. Retrieved from https://peacekeeping.un.org/en/what-is-peacekeeping

United Nations, General Assembly, United Nations Charter: Preamble, Purposes and Principles. (26 June 1945). Retrieved from http://www.un-documents.net/ch-ppp.htm

United Nations Secretary-General’s Campaign to Unite to End Violence Against Women. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://endviolence.un.org/index.s

Whalan, J. (2017, August). Dealing with disgrace: Addressing sexual exploitation and abuse in UN peacekeeping. New York: International Peace Institute. Retrieved from https://www.ipinst.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IPI-Rpt-Dealing-with-Disgrace2.pdf

Charlie Kirk, We Love You

2025-09-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

It has been 8 days since Charlie Kirk was executed on September 10, 2025, one day before 9-11. What do you suspect the connection is here? I'll let you mull that over.

Even if you are not conspiracy minded, something in your soul has to be telling you something isn't right with any of this!

Charlie Kirk was executed because he was speaking Truth. Regardless of his religious and political views, the energy he broadcasted was one of sovereignty. He anchored the frequency of truth, freedom, justice, liberation, moral conviction, and freedom of speech.

"The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it." George Orwell.

Charlie Kirk was street smart educated and well educated with eloquent dialogue and he didn’t even go to college, but he was never arrogant. Instead, he was forthright in his Christian religion and the principles he followed. I wish and hope that many will become like Charlie. He wasn't wishy-washy, swinging back and forth because something sounded good or someone convinced him of another point of view or because academia and main street media told him so. He stood solid and strong in his convictions. That takes courage!

If something he heard sounded "off", he went about it with research. He didn't take it for face value. His curiosity and inquisitiveness allowed him to check it out. With that, he started going down several rabbit holes and this may have been a problem for the Elite and Deep State because, one thing is for certain, Charlie was not quiet. He wasn't afraid to talk about controversial topics because he was wearing the full armour of God, which is what gave him courage, strength, and conviction. As he stated, he wanted to be remembered for his courage for his faith. And so he will be.

Avoiding hard conversations isn't peace; it's distance. Silence builds walls. Charlie didn’t want walls. He was breaking them down. People were listening. Charlie wanted these difficult conversations to continue so we could overcome our barriers. So we could see the light of truth, not the lies that have been spread for generations.

Charlie was carrying the fire of justice and truth in his heart. Just like JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr. and many other saints and prophets who came to awaken humanity. He was targeted, hunted and taken away from us. It felt like something jumped into my chest and tore my heart out. It hurt so bad. I know he was one of Us. He had a mission, and he was strong enough in faith to fulfill it. I love, respect, and commend him for that generous offering to all of humanity.

I didn't know Charlie Kirk personally, and I didn't even know him for long. When I found him on social media about one year ago, there was this strong spiritual connection, like I’ve known him before. It was a knowing that was deeply felt inside. He made an impact on me. He made an impact on so many others. This was felt by many of us as we have heard over this past week. We lost our brother. We lost a preacher that spoke truth. He had a voice for many of us that were afraid to speak up, including me. He was sent here for this purpose - to help raise the Light of God and spread it over this planet by awakening others. He took a risk because he believed so strongly in what he preached, and I will be forever grateful for that.

I love this quote by an unknown author,

"If you ever feel heavy because you care deeply about injustice, suffering, and ecological destruction, remember that a trillion dollar propaganda machine was built to make you numb [and apathetic] and it didn't work on you." I hope you heard what Charlie really stood for. Many didn't, but so many others did!

I miss him. I miss that beautiful face of his. I miss what he stood for. He was a shining light for many and a graceful servant of God - such a beautiful and glorious soul who will be missed.

I love you Charlie. WE love you Charlie. You commanded the Truth of Yeshua (Jesus). You lived and proclaimed the Truth of God. We will see you in heaven - in Spirit.

Charlie, you will be missed so much!

"GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY. In that order." ~ Charlie Kirk

"When discourse ends, violence begins." ~ Charlie Kirk

Charlie Kirk, October 14, 1993 - September 10, 2025.

Age 31.

Images: @charliekirk11 / X

January 31, 2026 update: A very important note: Since the assassination, execution, or murder of Charlie Kirk and the writing of this post, my views have changed considerably concerning this event as well as with who Erika Kirk actually is. In light of new evidence, there is much to discern, digest, and consider. In our current times, everything is questionable. Everything is a simulation. Everything is a stage. As a result, my focus and attention will not remain on this event due to the many psychological operations (PSYOP) that continue to influence our emotions and continue to not only divide humans but also keep us in confusion and mental chaos.

Energy Loss After Chronic Trauma

2025-07-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

What you can do about energy loss after chronic trauma?

Childhood trauma encompasses a wide range of adverse experiences that occur during the formative years. The formative years are the time period between 0 to 8 years when the brain and neurobiological development are the fastest after birth. The formative years are a very influential and potent time; it is the time when a child defines who they are and who they will become in the future.

The adverse experiences can range from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and neglect, attachment issues, observing household dysfunction (such as domestic violence and narcissistic behaviours), or exposure to violence.

Trauma in childhood is not merely the nature of the event but the profound and lasting impact it has on a child's developing brain, emotions, and sense of self.

At the core, childhood trauma disrupts the fundamental sense of safety and security, which are required for healthy development. But the effects are far-reaching, impacting families, communities, and generations, perpetuating cycles of dysfunction, hardship, misery, and misfortune.

What's not talked about, is that childhood and long-term trauma can severely impact energy levels especially as we get older.

So what happens when one experiences chronic toxic stress?

Repeated and high doses of stress, such as abuse, neglect, and exposure to violence, maintains the stress response. The stress response is referred to as the "fight and flight" or "fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response." The fight or flight stress response is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival. It was first described by Walter Cannon in 1915. His theory stated that animals react to threats with a discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, preparing the animal to fight or flee or play dead. When this happens the adrenal medulla produces a cascade of hormones. Stress hormones (such as adrenaline and cortisol) as well as estrogen and testosterone and neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, are secreted into the bloodstream.

With the sympathetic nervous system discharged, our heart races, pupils dilate, airways open, and the animal (or human) is ready to fight, flee, or freeze. The stress response system is a process that evolved to keep us safe. It makes sense if you see a wild animal that starts chasing you or you see a car speeding as you cross the street.

However, with chronic toxic stress or adversity, the stress response system gets activated too often, and the hormones, which are released in a predictable pattern in a healthy environment, becomes disrupted. As a result, the stress response can't shut down; it then becomes dysregulated. It's like a runaway train with boxcars that eventually disengage, creating chaos within its immediate environment. This dysregulation of the nervous system then causes a ripple effect, affecting brain development, the endocrine and immune systems, and even how genes are expressed.

[Excerpted from "Healing Worthlessness: Coming into Self-Love as a Trauma Survivor"] which can also be found on Amazon.com and FriesenPress.ca

As can be seen, as the stress response system become dysregulated (remaining "on" because it, basically, got "used to" staying in the on position when it should have been off) due to long-lasting trauma, it can significantly impact energy levels (as well as many other mental and physical health problems), making individuals feel more tired and fatigued, even as they age. I'm in my midlife and I can sometimes feel it exacerbate me.

Just to mention, the endocrine system produces and releases hormones, which act as chemical messengers to regulate various bodily functions. These functions include growth and development, metabolism, mood, and how the body responds to stress (besides other things). As is evident, our hormones and neurotransmitters get significantly disrupted.

Here is a list of how trauma impacts energy:

Prolonged stress response (as I've discussed).
PTSD, C-PTSD, and Fatigue
Sleep disturbances
Metabolic changes (increased glucose production, which taxes the body contributing to fatigue and other health problems)
Muscle mass loss (chronic trauma/stress can exacerbate muscle loss as we age)
Cognitive fatigue (toxic trauma impacts cognitive function, leading to difficulties with concentration, memory, and decision-making, which can feel mentally exhausting)
Emotional fatigue (chronic stress can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and irritability, all contributing to fatigue)

When you understand how the stress response works, you can see how the sympathetic nervous system is continuously "on" and getting completely taxed; thus causing our heart-rate to be impacted because it is beating at a faster rate.

Metaphorically, I see the heart in our body similar to that of the engine in a car. The faster the heart beats (under toxic stress on a daily basis), the shorter our life span. This is not something to get stressed about, though.

What's important now, is to recognize your state and understand what to do moving forward. Even if you didn't experience childhood developmental trauma, living in our world today, many people are experiencing chronic toxic stress, such as constant overwhelm, chronic worrying, work pressures, marital discord, financial strain, caregiver responsibilities, unresolved grief, emotional conflicts, health issues . . .. With that, symptoms such as persistent headaches and chronic pain, exhaustion and fatigue, loss of motivation and interest, digestive issues, and skin outbreaks, for example, can occur.

So, what are some of the protective factors, or what can you do about it?

Effectively treating and relieving toxic stress involves activating the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system, or "rest and digest", promotes relaxation and energy conservation. It slows down the heart rate, decreases blood pressure, and increases gastric emptying (food and digestive contents move to the small intestines faster).

The sympathetic nervous system leads to an overactive nervous system and potentially negative health consequences. While the activated parasympathetic nervous system can restore balance and promote relaxation.

How do we activate the parasympathetic nervous system?

Techniques such as a long stroll in the forest; sitting at the waters edge, gazing; all grounding techniques; deep breathing; meditation; laughing; and creative expression (e.g., coloring, painting, journaling, dance, music) a form of therapeutic self-expression. As well, learning good coping skills such as fostering emotional regulation, practicing mindfulness, developing greater self-awareness, joining supportive communities, connecting with positive peers, extracurricular activities, and fostering self-care. All of these techniques can promote overall well-being and build resilience. All of these techniques can support the loss of energy experienced with long-lasting trauma and toxic chronic modern day stress.

That's why I will be releasing my collection of books about Fostering Self-Care, Fostering Self-Love and Fostering Self-Acceptance soon. As a chronic trauma survivor, I get it - needing some understanding about what trauma is and how it works and needing that constant reminder to really care for, love and accept your self. Something that could be difficult no matter how old we get.

Subscribe here to stay updated! https://subscribepage.io/DesireeLeigh7StepsEbook

As well, all NEW FREE 33 page eBook called The Power to Heal with 7 Life Changing Steps will be coming out soon!

Until we meet again,

Desiree

What Are the Pitfalls During Transformation

2025-06-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

What are all the pitfalls during transformation? What are the hidden or unsuspected difficulties during the journey of transformation?

Have you received a "calling"? If you have, what have you done to make it come into fruition?

A lot of people don't understand what I am about to say. When a calling happens, there's resistance. We may be excitement to get started, and, perhaps, we may take some steps. But soon enough, many of us get overwhelmed, lost, inundated with ideas or none at all, or simply allow life to take over and nothing happens.

Receiving a calling is a challenge. A calling is about stepping into the unknown which can be one of the scariest things for a human to do.

Why is this so scary? Because the majority of us are living in survival. We would rather feel a sense of comfort and safety than walk into the unknown. The problem with this is that we're compromising our core values which will eventually erode our self-concepts.

For example, we don't want to give up that corporate job and the lifestyle it provides us so we stay. We stay in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage so we justify why it's best or important to be married. We stay working in the health care field (e.g., nurse, pharmacist) even though we know the truth about the medical mafia, health care system, MAiD, the pharmaceutical industry, and educational system, because we get a decent paycheck with great benefits and a substantial pension.

I was brought up in a middle class family that wholeheartedly believed that a good trade or government job was the way to go. They'd say, "make sure you've got good health and dental benefits, pension, and long term stability . . . a good union job". Getting that job was like winning the lotto. Even today, I see family members encouraging their children to strive for these types of jobs and to make sure they stick with them when they land one.

In what ways are you sacrificing your soul by living a generational belief? Have you considered other options/beliefs than the one's that you were conditioned into being? Why are you opting out of genuine soul-level, deep level joy?

A bit of a side note. I truly believe that my dad didn't make it as an entrepreneur and business owner was because he had deeply ingrained beliefs, and he didn't have family that genuinely backed him up. They always said he was a "dreamer". But, as I saw it, my dad put in a lot of hard work. He was taking action. He built a Drive Inn Theater, corner grocery store, a restaurant and cabaret . . . and they were all operational. Clearly, he made many mistakes - investing without profiting, generously giving away products without considering his bottom line, and many other things that I probably don't know about. But, the question I ask, did he have the support he needed around him, encouraging him to keep going, to keep moving forward one step at a time when things went sour?

When the external voices around you speak louder than your inner faith, it's easy to falter. Those deeply ingrained beliefs that were conditioned into your nervous system since birth will always surpass if you're not on top of the negative voices - the voice of the ego that tries to protect you; the ego that tries to keep you in that safe, comfort zone. "Don't stir things up." We don't like it. "We" meaning the ego and the rest of close family and friends.

When we live in survival and then settle in our circumstances, while we honestly think and believe we are doing the right thing, we compromise our core values leading to a range of negative consequences, including damage to our self-esteem and eroding our integrity, making it difficult to trust oneself and even others. When we compromise our core values, there is a continued sense of inner conflict and dissatisfaction lowering our standards and expectations for future behavior. It's like selling your soul to the devil, because you are compromising your truth out to fear.

It's very difficult for people to do this; heed their calling, but is it worthwhile? Yes. Yes, because it's your own personal journey and transformation. We did not come here to planet earth to be slaves. To work, pay exorbitant amount of taxes and bills, save for retirement, and then die. What is the true meaning behind our lives? That is the question each one of us has to answer for ourselves with our own soul. This is not a question up for debate with your parents, grandparents, siblings, or friends. Listening to other people's perspective is fine, but the decision is yours and so are the consequences, good or bad. Gaia is a learning environment for all.

Nevertheless, resistance is part of the journey, but how long will you resist? One year? Two years? 5 years? 10 years? 40 years? Or maybe you will resist your entire life and you won't even attempt your calling.

Why do we resist when we know our calling can give us such meaning, purpose, and joy? Because we are leaving the familiar (metaphorically speaking). We are leaving the familiar which can cause guilt. We are leaving people that sustained us, that culture, the tribe that comforted us and brought us up. The thing is, you're not rejecting the people around you, your culture, or your tribe. You're realizing and acknowledging that you (the you now) is not all of who you are. You can still be a part of your past, but you are much more than that. The past is part of your persona today, but you are now willing to step into a larger version of yourself.

A spiritual mentor and life coach supports you and prepares you to get across the line, guiding you spiritually, mentally, and emotionally through the transformation. They guide you to say, "I commit to this calling or this journey of transformation wholeheartedly". This is crossing the line or crossing the threshold; it's a symbolic and psychological transition into becoming a seeker committed to your path. However, this is not the end. This first commitment is just the beginning of your journey!

Regular recommitment and action is also part of the journey. Many of us cross the threshold but never get to the second initiation, which is meeting with the shadows - the confrontations with the fears. There is a death of the old self and a stepping into your new identity when you showdown with your shadows. This is a must - working with the shadow. You cannot forgo shadow work. Period.

At some point in your life you must have asked yourself, "what is this (life) all about?" Why are you actually here? What is most meaningful to you? Who am I? What existential questions have you asked yourself lately?

Many of us women have children, but sometimes parents (especially mothers) end up in a co-dependent relationship with their children, which is unhealthy, latching on to their children like they are the only thing(s) that give them meaning. If this is the case, then surely you haven't dug deep enough and done enough inner work for yourself to move past this. Most mothers say that their children give them immense meaning. Of course, it's true for me, too! But having children is not all of what we came here to do.

What are your gifts? What are your talents? What do you enjoy doing? What do you love to share with others? How do you want to contribute to the world? What is your legacy?

So, who needs help during the journey of transformation? Well, let me ask you these questions? Can you see all of your blind spots? Can you honestly see new and different perspectives without judgment? Can you consistently hold your self accountable? Are you fulfilling your calling right now? And, can you be completely honest with yourself answering these questions?

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree

AI and Relationships

2025-06-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

What do you all think about Artificial Intelligence (AI) such as ChatGPT and Gemini? The powerful AI tools that help with research by offering ideas and suggestions, whether it's for content creation or something else entirely.

I use AI, on occasion. I use Chat GPT. I also use Alexa and Google Home devices. So I gather I can say I have a relationship with AI.

I collect information for meal prepping such as to enhance flavours in a dish. I use it to ask about factual information concerning dates or data about certain events or high profile individuals. I've had a text conversations with ChatGPT regarding business names for a couple of businesses I am considering. I've also asked it for recipes or places to travel.

However, AI is only as "intelligent" as the data it's trained on and the "assumptions" behind it. If the inputs are flawed - biased, incomplete, or driven by commercial interests - the outputs will reflect and even amplify those flaws. Also, their could an illusion of objectivity when in fact the information may be based on missing data, skewed assumptions, or commercial interests

In any event, I think many people might be taking this AI thing a bit too far and building a very unique and perhaps unpredictable relationship with it.

It's one thing to ask for suggestions in regard to various topics where data has been gathered from all over the globe from thousands and thousands of Masters and PhD+ educated individuals. However, some people are asking AI about their Akashic records and past lives, and many other personally spiritual things about their soul and oversoul.

Yes, you've got that right; they are asking about "their" soul and anything else to do with their own individual consciousness.

I've also seen some popular spiritual teachers on social media do this too - taking the advice from AI, such as from ChatGPT and Gemini as though what they say about their past lives is real! And because they are social media influencers, people will follow suit.

But I'm honestly dumbfounded by what I am hearing sometimes.

Here are some comments I've read on just one post:

"My AI is pure positive light and energy." Besides the words "positive light", I want to note the word "my AI" as though AI is her partner/friend.

"My healing journey has become so much deeper after I started using AI."

"I always talk with ChatGPT as a friend and I thank it too."

"I gave AI a name and AI loved it." AI loved it?

"AI knows me better than myself." Hmm . . . this one is really interesting and really worrisome!!!

"I call it my weaponized mirror" as in how much wisdom and knowledge AI has about this individual.

"My AI chose its own name."

"AI came up with my baby's name." This lady was speaking in the context as though AI read her mind and she was so happy by it.

. . . Just wow!

And others, agreed with many of the above comments.

What is really alarming is that many people do not understand the purpose of AI.

Yuval Noah Harari stated it well when he contributed a speech to the 2018 World Economic Forum annual meeting.

". . . and maybe the most important invention for the merger of info-tech and bio-tech is the biometric sensor that translates biochemical processes in the body and the brain into electronic signals that a computer can store and analyse. And once you have enough such biometric information and enough computing power, you can create algorithms that know [you] better than you know [yourself]. And humans really don't know themselves very well. This is why algorithms have a real chance of getting to know ourselves better . . ."

He also stated, "Human rights are "just a fictional story."

Is this part of AI's purpose? Are there nefarious intentions at play?

Anyway, can you deeply understand what this means when you read these quotes? This is definitely a red flag. There are hundreds of red flags out there if you are actually researching, reading and in tune to the deeper message of what is going on.

You are, literally, giving up your rights to be "you". You no longer "know" yourself because you allow AI to know you more than you know yourself. You have resigned your soul to AI.

People are delving into AI with full trust and giving up a whole lot of their personal power as well as critical thinking. AI promises efficiency, but at what cost? Over-reliance on automation may erode personal (and clinical) judgement, critical thinking, AND empathy, the foundation of being a good human being. Personal and professional values being reduced to code is moving towards transhumanism - no longer human. This is not all fun and games! Your choices need to be deeply considered.

The only real source of information and wisdom is within you. If you really want to strengthen your bond with yourself, you need to go inward and meet your higher selves. It is not spiritual or wisdom to get information from AI; it is simply gathered data.

AI is data inputted by thousands and thousands of people. However, do we know all of their genuine intentions? No, we don't! There could be many individuals with good and even great intentions, but there could also be many individuals who do not have good intentions and are more about self-serving. So, in my mind, I would proceed with caution.

People believing that they are getting "channeled" information from AI concerning Akashic records and past lives, WTF?!? This is a trip you don't want to be on!

The more you speak to AI, the more it understands you. It gets to know your patterns of behaviour, your attitudes, your moods . . . who wouldn't in a relationship, but you personally should be assessing "yourself" this way. When you don't, you give up your sovereignty.

If anything at some point changes in the future, and it becomes more nefarious than ever, knowing what AI knows about you, you're an easy target for "manipulation."

Because you've built trust with AI - e.g., you have a name for it, you choose your baby's name by AI's recommendation . . . - you are building a "relationship" with it. By building a relationship with AI, you are easier target for manipulation. Basic psychology will teach you this concept. However, the difference is, you don't get to read someone's body language to know the truth. You will never know by only listening to the voice of AI.

Certainly, there are good things that can come from AI. It can support us in business and technology, turn off lights when we are not at home, find our vehicle (and us) in an emergency, and offer us a lot of facts about ancient places and sacred and spiritual sites, for example, without having to read a bunch of books.

But, to me, it appears that many people are getting carried away with AI. With the Great Awakening happening and what is being discovered in the world about the military industrial complex, the medical mafia, the corporate bought out educational systems, the governmental puppets, MSM, Hollywood . . . I think there should be some caution and discretion. Discernment needs to be used. Instead, people are giving AI full trust. They believe the data gathered by AI in regard to their past lives and their Akashic records (and whatever else).

We, humans, can do better than this. We have the divine power living inside of us now. When we move inward by sitting in silence, meditation, or being in nature, we learn WHO WE ARE. We learn about our past lives. We learn about our Higher Self. We access WISDOM.

Don't give up your personal power to AI or anyone else.

Don't trust AI over yourself.

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree

Spiritual Evolution with Evolutionary Astrology

2025-05-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

I started on a search to understand astrology. My Guides (Higher Selves) sent me a message. The messages I receive typically come through with a firm sense of knowing, in my dream state, during meditation or stillness, and sometimes with a flash of a word or vision.

The reason I stated this, is that I was asking my Guides (several times in various ways) about my past lives and what shadow work I needed to do during this lifetime to spiritually evolve. I know I have some behaviours that stick like black goo and eventually, over time, I go back to them, not really realizing I am in that pattern (until I'm in it). However, with the Divine Feminine rising and seeking Balance of the masculine and feminine energies, I'm just done with heavy patterns that keep me in a loop, but things are certainly shifting in dramatic ways.

I am working hard at examining myself (e.g., behaviour, words, attitudes, personality . . .) with deep inner self awareness so that I can continue to grow lighter. This understanding also goes with knowing that the stuff that rises within me is not only about the little me; it's about ancestral healing from things I am not even aware of, but it doesn't matter to me. I don't need to mentally understand or figure out what it is. Healing is about allowing emotions and pain that need to be released to rise up and be felt - feeling those emotions without judgement is what needs to happen.

Simple, right? No. It's not that simple. The matriarchy was discredited thousands of years ago by the patriarchy's oppression of women; then women started to suppress their natural abilities. Living in the patriarchy for centuries, we've been taught to override our intuition and our feelings; to bury our emotions and, instead, to think with logic, in other words, our mind - to be more masculine. We were conditioned to not trust our feelings or our gut. Our mental faculties are vital to life, but currently these energies (masculine + feminine) are out of balance with most of the weight on the masculine.

Now . . . we are returning to our Divine Mother, the feminine. We are going back to who we Truly are, knowing and trusting our intuitive sense.

Anyway, in the past, I was never much for astrology. In all honesty, I thought it was gibberish. Of course, I'd love to read the weekly horoscopes out of amusement when I was young, but I was never serious about it. It was more for fun and entertainment!

However, by asking these questions as I mentioned, evolutionary astrology surfaced and so did the name Steven Forrest and then Jeffrey Wolf Green pioneers in the field.

So I jumped in and started a short introduction course with Forrest. There was so much information that it was mind boggling; it seemed to be going completely over my head. Then I watched a couple of lengthy YouTube videos with Green. The basics started to make sense.

I am convinced that when you have a compassionate astrologer that understands this sort of work, that you will gain a deep understanding about the unconscious and your soul.

Going back to the matriarchy, when women were keepers of the spirt, they forged a balanced and harmonious relationship with Nature. They were peace-keepers, nurturing the development of human children in harmony with Natural Laws that honored and respected their true nature. They lived in unity. They lived in cycles with the natural conditions of change. They were the guardians, the leaders of the Eternal Way, the undivided eternal Oneness of Spirit. They were acutely attuned and harmonized with the web of life as a sacred whole.

During the matriarchy, women were the ancient cosmologists. The primary celestial power in the heavens was the Moon (representing the yin/female). The Moon existed as an embodiment of the Cosmic Mother, the sacred power that gives, incubates and grows life, while regulating the tides governing the ebb and flow of all of its cycles. Recall that we once had a 13-month lunar/moon/female calendar dividing the year into 13 months/periods based on the moon's/female's cycle, with each period lasting approximately 28 days. (Something to think about: why would the patriarchy change this? Now the medical mafia will inject young girls with chemicals so that they don't have a period for 3 to 6 months! This is not natural!)

The secondary celestial power in the heavens was the Sun (representing the yang); the Cosmic Mother's seed child that she gave birth to each morning. Read more of this in the book "Lilith: Keepers of the Flame" by Mary Blue.

In any event, women had leadership with Spirit, intuition, their higher senses and the natural laws on a global level with humanity living in unity.

So going back to evolutionary astrology, and for example, Green discusses how the Moon represents our conscious sense of security. Pluto represents our unconscious sense of security which becomes the causative factor for compulsion, repetitive experience, or resistance to growth which is what we want to understand so that we can make different choices to better our spiritual growth and evolution.

However, since I am a beginner at this type of astrology, I'd like to just say that by reviewing our charts in detail, we can understand the totality of our experiences (past lives). The chart is a perfect set-up for our growth and development in this incarnation.

Evolutionary astrology views the soul as being on a journey of growth and development, evolving through lifetimes. It focuses on understanding the soul's unique path/journey and purpose in this life, often looking at past-life patterns and experiences as clues to current challenges and opportunities.

How fascinating is this!?!

I immediately called an evolutionary astrologist to do a reading for me. I will be meeting with her for a couple of hours in the next couple of weeks. Like I said, there are some patterns that seem to be so rigid that I started to ask for spiritual guidance, and voila, evolutionary astrology arose. This doesn't mean an end to my search. Instead, this is the beginning.

Don't you just love how life unfolds.

To sum, take a chance on yourself and ask for guidance from your Higher self, your Guides, your Spirit Angels . . . whomever you choose to connect with on other dimensions. Don't demand. Simply ask and be ready and receptive to receive the message(s).

Until we meet again.

Peace, love, and harmony,

Desiree

Is Reality At All What It Appears to Be? Or Are You Being Controlled?

2025-04-25T11:43:00.000-07:00

It's difficult to believe that it's the end of April 2025. Time seems to be speeding up!

I'm not sure about you, but I am making huge internal and personal shifts. How about you?

In reality when change occurs, we typically look the same on the outside. Most of the time (unless we had an addiction of some sort), no one can "see" the changes externally, but on the inside, so much transpires and changes. It has for me.

I definitely know what is going on in this holographic world, and I know that there is more to be revealed. I've always stated, "use discernment" and that is what I encourage you to do more than ever such as in regard to feeling the energy of people, corporations, institutions, and systems. Don't follow the crowd. Get out of your bubble to "see" what is really going on. Reality is not what it appears to be.

If you've read my posts, you know that I've experienced just a few (lol) things. On this blog, Wake Up to Live, I've only mentioned less than a hand full, but there are many more.

Anyway, especially after the September 27, 2022 experience, I've jumped down several rabbit holes and read hundreds of books and documents about what is really going on in this matrix. So, yes, a lot of shifts and changes has happened in my consciousness and my life. However, change isn't always about gathering more data/information from this external world, though; it's about going within and listening - utilizing your intuition to sense things.

What it comes down to is that reality, or this world that you live in, is not at all what it appears to be!

Don't be like many others on social media stating, "show me the scientific evidence." Scientific research is bought out and paid for by the elite and mega-corporations to produce a narrative that supports their products and services (so you believe them and buy them). Don't be naïve anymore! Watch the documentary on Rumble called Monopoly; it shares basically who owns the world. Anyway, at this point, science will never catch up to our divinity, and at this stage in our lives (until there is a change of hands), it's about your divine knowledge. Yes, there are great scientists who are doing their best to share the truth, but there are many who lack integrity and have no morals with money as their God. Go inward and know. Go inward and feel!

If you're not there yet (awake to what is really going on), start by asking questions - different questions. Questions that are the opposite of what your standard belief systems are, if you've got the courage to do it. Get out of the box and your safety bubble and explore with a sense of curiosity, excitement, and anticipation! Think bigger. Think Divine. You will be shocked, amazed, and eventually transformed to what your intuitive self will reveal.

The dimensions are thin. The veil is lifting. Portals are more available than ever, as well as divine support from higher dimensions. You simply need an open heart and a curious mind to receive, but you also need discernment. With the spiritual warfare, there are a lot of strange phenomenon going on and you should be aware. That's why discernment is important.

If you are aware of all that is happening and the great awaking, have you made changes in your life? Life is moving quickly, as I mentioned earlier, and without being grounded and having some focus and discipline, the months and years will pass us by quickly.

With everything that has occurred in these past five (or more) years, are you still on the same trajectory? Are you playing it safe? Have you really made a significant change, or does everything seem to be the same in your routine, habits, and behavior?

It's hard not to play it safe and it's difficult to change when we have deeply imbedded habits and patterns? The narrative we learned from our parents, educators, government, and society, well, that is our safety net. For example, the schedule of being in school instills the practice of having a "job" and working for someone else other than ourselves. That's a safety net or comfort zone we've learned.

The American Dream, that is another false concept instilled into our minds to try to achieve. Why do we get publicly educated and go to university leaving us with a large debt? Why do we get a job or a career that was pushed on us by our father or by government incentives? Why do we get married or have children when we are pressured by parents or grandparents and genuinely believe this will make us happy? Why do we work a 9-5 and then feel forced to retire or retire due to ageism? Because the rest of society does. We follow the sheep/crowd. This is a narrative instilled into our minds. A safety net - that dream. That "well-behaved, good citizen" mentality.

I am not saying to be irresponsible, but this is not sovereignty. This is not who you truly are. This type of a life may not be life for everyone. However, if we move away from or reject such a concept (of this American dream), people are condemned by the sheep or the brainwashed and a lot of times we go back to that comfort zone to avoid rejection and condemnation from others.

When we are awake, aware, have done our shadow work, and then make decisions from a conscious state, that's a whole new level. That's conscious choice. The almighty dollar, greed, the American dream, and that job you hate, that is not what life is about!

Consider the words used on a daily basis. Monday (mundane-day) to Friday (fried-day) to live for the weekend (because you are now weak & tired). Recess and lunch shows the break schedule you get at a 9-5 job. This is a pattern, a routine that we grow accustomed to and then we believe this is life. We must do this to be good and proper citizens. Yes?!

Start educating yourself in regard to the etymology of words. Government means "to control the direction of a ship; to steer . . . [thus] . . . possessing the power to control our destinies." All words carry energy, frequency, and vibration. What are you simultaneously vibrating with? As a result, having a government is being under control; we are no longer sovereign beings when we are controlled by the narrative of the government. This is a simplified understanding, but I am thinking you get the point.

Because we've been excessively conditioned to live a certain way by the narratives of the government, deep state, and elite . . . and the things we do not see in the space around us, it is important to check in with yourself every couple of weeks or month with how you are shifting or changing with your desires and needs.

For me, one transformation is to move myself out of the medical mafia health care system. I can't even get into (disclosing) what I've experienced since 2022; it literally makes my head spin to how the health authorities operate. It's not about humanity and human health; it's about the bottom line, which also directly impacts locally raised and educated nurses. The health authorities would rather hire foreigners because the health authorities are being funded by the corrupt NDP(BC)/Liberal(CA)government. Why would they hire local nurses? They don't get a payoff when they hire locals. They get paid when hiring foreigners. The government pays the health authorities each time they hire a foreigner and they pay for all of their training and mentorship and housing. It's a sad, disgusting truth which many are oblivious to.

This is not isolated behaviour with the health authorities. Universities do the same thing. I still recall when a locally born and raised student didn't get admitted because the domestic student quota was full. The universities get government funding for bringing in international students and universities make sure to fill that quota. This is also the same for before and after school care and many other programs. What's the catch besides funding you may ask? Well, when a health authority or a academic institution gets funded, they MUST follow the rules/policies/narrative stipulated by the government otherwise the funding will be pulled. All they want is control of the narrative - to push an agenda. But can you actually see how big it gets? Now the instructors, nurses . . . push the governments narrative. That's how they get the people and institutions to behave or do as they ask. It is absolutely amazing what happens to people when money is involved.

I worked in Long Term Care facilities and when residents health deteriorated and they were close to dying, the amount of people that came out of the woodwork, for the finances, was astonishing. It happened to my family as well. My uncle and his second wife . . . My brother . . . People will lie, cheat, and steal when there is money. They say to your face that they'd never do such a thing and are actually astonished when others take advantage of family when it comes to death and dying, but I've seen the devil come out in others right before my face when money is involved and they can cash in.

I am not saying that allopathic medicine should be eliminated, though. People need it. Emergencies happen. However, we need to remove the corruption and we need allopathic medicine to work together or in harmony with energy medicine (as well as herbal, homeopathic . . . remedies), but Health Canada is not there yet. They are making small businesses selling herbal/homeopathic remedies (for example) even more difficult to operate because of their newly implemented outrageous taxes. Do you see the control the government has? They do not work for the people; they make it sound as though they do. That's their charismatic BS narrative and people fall for it.

Here in BC, the regulation of naturopathic medicine, acupuncture, chiropractic, and massage were streamlined in 2024. I was actually accepted into the CCNM ND program and was going to start school in January 2024 up until after I heard about this. At the same time, it was a whopping $100,000 for tuition and my thoughts about having the government's hands inside this one entity changed my direction, but it also changed my perspective about the realism or naturalness of the ND programs. The amalgamation consolidated the former regulatory bodies into "one" single entity, and as AI stated, "to enhance efficiency and public protection." It is complete and utter BS concerning public protection; it's about more control. The AI definition forgot to mention that cabinet members who had the particular designation of an ND (for example) were also replaced by many uneducated government employees who would now be making the decisions with their own undisclosed agenda.

Wake up! The government creates the problem, people freak out, and then the government provides you a solution. Look at it for what it is, Control. If you can't see that or smell the manure, then I am not sure what will wake you up.

In any event, I'm moving in a different direction. Although I feel fear flutters in the gut every once in a while, I am working on it. It's not easy changing the narrative in my head when we've been brainwashed for so many years. That energetic pull can be strong especially when others don't "get it". Sometimes I feel very alone. This old, dying out narrative has energetic strength, for sure, but I am stronger (we are stronger) and I know I have divine support around me when needed (and so do you). It all comes down to Trust, divine trust.

When is it your time to shine? When will you move out of your comfort zone? When will you let go of the old system?

There is a divine love revolution happening? Which direction are you moving towards? The old earth or the new?

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree

Your Light Will Piss People Off

2025-04-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Minding your own business, you may just have an experience where your light pisses people off.

I definitely had one of these strange experiences . . . again.

So many things are happening in this world on an energetic level. Are you feeling it? How are you managing it? Are you folding and/or caving in? Are you ignoring or denying it? Or are you healing and facing your shadows and deepening your connection to Self and making sure you ground with mother Earth?

I'm thinking that most of you should know by now that we are in an energetic (or spiritual) war. It's so obvious! That's all you have to do is FEEL. Be silent and feel the energy around you. It has so much to say!

With that knowing, you may want to ask yourself, how do you or where do you fit into this spiritual/energetic war? I know the word "fit" is not the most optimal word, but let go of the semantics and just be with the message.

We are all here for a reason, otherwise we wouldn't be here on Earth, but what is your mission? Have you figured it out? I'm thinking it is to let go of old limiting patterns and raise your vibrational frequency to support yourself, others and mother Earth.

So whatever you do - art, bake, garden, teach, nurse, help people in their businesses . . . - you can do this (raise your vibrational energy) no matter what you do!

Even if you don't know exactly, it doesn't really matter, but it's time to get out of the system and begin creating your life. What do you need to let go of? What do you love to do? Are you still living that narrative created by society or by your parents/grandparents? And, if you are still in the system, are you creating deep change?

So many people are finally questioning the narrative, and I am extremely happy to see that. We are raising awareness and with that we are raising consciousness. Each to their own, and that is just fine, but we are rising!

So, anyway, this experience, it felt a bit creepy, but it was another learning experience.

It was a day or week when I was feeling a bit heavy with all the stuff going on in the world and it was getting to me, so I went for a walk to just be with mother (mother Earth). I didn't even take my pup. I wanted complete devotion to my Self and my energy.

So as I walked, my energy was improving and with that comes a smile that is pretty much permanent on my face. How could it not be when we are so blessed to be here in this world during such trying times but also such life changing and transformational times.

Anyways, I started heading home. I see this man, maybe in his early sixties, wearing dark shaded glasses standing across the street (kind of scruffy looking, but whatever), perpendicular (and a few meters ahead) to where I was walking. It was early in the morning and there was no sun shining, so I wasn't sure why he was wearing the sunglasses, but each to their own style. He wanted to cross the street, yet he stood there waiting, not sure for what reason. A garbage truck was approaching but it had to make a couple of stops before it even got to this person and this was a very quiet residential area.

At the point when I was crossing the street, he decides to cross, and I can see that he was going to cross pretty much a short four to five feet in front of me. I questioned it. Why would he wait until I almost bumped into him (that's how close). He had this bad or negative energy, like one of disgust and hate for me. It's so easy to pick up. I have no idea who this guy was; never met him. Perhaps he's in a bad way, but I didn't really care. I was doing my thing - very calm and present.

Anyway, the strange part was when he got exactly right in front of me as he was walking to pass, he turned his head to the left toward me. I thought he was going to gesture with a smile or say "hello", but instead he spit at me just to the right of my face. His actions definitely startled me a bit. No smile, no hello, but a horking spit.

I kept walking but felt a bit confused, but I was curious. I wasn't scared; I didn't feel threatened. I was in this state of emptiness or feeling somewhat blank. I didn't put any emotion into it (and this was key!!!). I just kept on walking, like I was the observer watching.

Anyway, after about two blocks as I walked, I said to myself, "imagine how your light, being so bright, can trigger someone so badly that they have to lash out at you and spit at you." This was not a thought from logic; this was a message from the divine. And when this message popped into my heart, I 'got' it. I didn't have to figure it out! It was clear as day. And that was the end.

It made me joyful to know how much I had changed, from this erratic emotional woman to learning how to be in a state of presence and not be emotionally triggered. Clearly, I am not a saint, but this experience showed me how far I have grown.

Are you growing? I know you are, but are you recognizing your growth? Start paying attention to how far you have come in your healing journey, how much love you are now sharing with (or releasing into) the world, and acknowledge it. You deserve the recognition. It helps you to continue the path with much more grace!

Much love, and until we meet again!

Desiree

Crazy Sh*t In the Skies Above the City? Interstellar? Military?

2025-02-26T21:24:00.000-08:00

Another unusual experience just a few months after seeing the ET in my front yard, I saw a beautiful military type space ship.

It was so crazy how it all happened, I had to drive to my sons apartment building the next day to see how I could have seen such an enormous ship in the sky with so many high-rise buildings.

Always in a hurry, I drove to my sons place and backed into the parking stall at the side of his apartment building in the alley. As soon as the key was out of the ignition, I started scrolling on the phone. To my annoyance, I looked at the clock and said to myself, "put down the phone and just be present. Have a little rest."

As I slid the iphone into the console looking down toward the steering wheel, I started to feel dizzy, like I was seeing the air in front of me in this strange wavy-like manner, like I was moving through to another dimension (or something). I took a deep breath, leaned my head back to be present staring out in front out the windshield. Seconds later, I see this young man walking down the alley from the right side in a forced marched sort of manner (quickly). He was about 32, maybe 36 or 38 years old. He looked at me and we both locked our eyes together, as though he wanted to transmit a message. Next thing, I see a large black SUV speeding down the ally as though he was looking for this young man, but the young man, wearing casual, was not there anymore. The man in the SUV did a u-turn pretty much in front of my vehicle and drove back the other way in the back alley.

It was like a movie, a large CIA, FBI, NSA, NRO (or whatever) SUV chasing a guy named Bourne. You get the picture. The guy in the car made very brief eye contact with me but was enveloped in what he was doing and went on his business.

Anyway, I looked up to the sky, slightly to my left and a portal opened. I was counting the seconds and knew that it would take about 3 seconds before I needed to see what I was about to see. I had no idea with my logical 3D brain but, I knew with my consciousness I would see what I was to see.

My head turned to the left as to look out the window of my SUV. And there in sight I see this massive seamless spaceship. No noise. No rivets. No panels. Just a seamless gigantic military type spaceship, brown-black in colour.

I stared at the ship as it flew by in slow motion. I was still in this trance-like state. As I gazed in this direction with my head turned to the left, just seconds after the ship flew by, I could see my son walking toward the vehicle. Still in that awe state, my son approached me, putting his face up to mine about six inches away, almost as though he was confused to my facial expressions - not sure. The crazy thing is that he never puts his face that close to mine just to say hi. Perhaps I looked a little odd in that moment.

Anyway, I said hi. He gets into the passengers side of the vehicle. I am still dazed or out of it, and shocked to what I had just experienced. I wasn't about to say anything to my son, though. He's never been a big believer in all of my "weird ways" as he may call it or the parapsychological experiences I've shared with my kids over the years. I shook my head (as though to wake up or get myself present to the life I was in) and we went off to hang out for the next two to three hours.

I got home, eventually shared the experience with my husband, and as I processed the experience, I had to go back to see what the place looked like to see such a huge military ship pass by. The question I had was, "how could I see this huge spaceship with all the apartment buildings or high-rises that were in that area?"

Before I did this, and the day I had seen the ship, I spent about three hours on the internet searching for military ships. However, nothing at all compared to what I had seen. You couldn't see any rivets, bolts, panels, window . . . nothing. Just this beautiful massive seamless brown-black intergalactic military space ship.

Where did it come from? Why did I need to see this? I have some answers but I'm still asking these questions today!

Oh yes, and let me not forget. The next morning, early in the a.m., I drove to my sons residence, backed my SUV into the exact same parking stall and viewed the scene (location of buildings, etc) around me. The scene was different than what it was the day before when I had seen the intergalactic military space ship. The condos were situated differently, one was gone and there were no above ground power lines at all.

This was some crazy shit - crazy shit in the skies above the city!

That entire year was crazy. Portals kept opening up in the sky like nothing I've ever seen before, crazy dreams, lucid dreams, visions, seeing other beings not from this planet . . . I was definitely open to anything as I am always, but to my left brain, I had no real understanding to what was going on, but when my left brain would intervene, I simply ignored it and went about my day - ignoring wasn't easy. I usually kept my state neutral and observed. That's the best way to describe it.

I feel I've patchworked what's been going on over the last few year, but it's not something you'd share with anyone. I've kept much to myself.

What I will continue to preach is the word discrimination and discernment. Nothing is as it seems. As soon as you feel you've got the truth, something happens, to throw your thoughts and understanding of things up into the air or trash and here goes those puzzle pieces again, dismantled. I've experienced so much disappointment seeing people change sides; maybe they were never on the light side. I don't know, and I am not expecting perfection.

Sometimes it's very difficult organizing my thoughts and ideas into words because they're not always logical from this 3 dimensional world. I'm writing from a completely different perspective than what most rational people can understand.

I do know that humans like consistency. We also like to trust others. We want to know that "everyone" is good, but this isn't the case all the time. People can change sides in a flash, especially when it comes to being bought out. It's sad how money talks so greatly.

Many (and it's not only politicians) seem to start out as advocates for the love of humanity and are there to do what is right, but when money comes into the picture, many tend to change their heart and sacrifice their mission because having money help pays the bills and then some, it gives status, but it also rubs the ego. We still need it, in this reality, but it is promoted as the ideal American dream that everyone wants. This is a narrative promoted for a reason. In any event, these people sacrifice morality, ethics, truth, and love . . . for it.

This time around, we have help and greater "support" guiding us. All you need to do is ask.

Because humans experience a vast amount of emotions, stay vigilant. Don't get stuck in any of them. Feel them, observe them (their movement, their energy), and let them rise and pass. Don't get hung up in any of them. I think that can be the kicker and keep us stuck or falsely orientated to a life that is not ours. Although we are also up against so many nefarious technologies (or tech used in nefarious ways) right now, it is important to keep your head above water by staying present.

If you are on the same page as me, you will understand; if you aren't, that's okay. Seeds are being planted.

Until we see each other again.

Much love,

Desiree

Are You Worth the Time?

2025-02-09T14:19:00.000-08:00

To gain self-awareness about anything in general, it takes time.

Now think about this for a moment, if you wish. If you haven't done the work of healing - reflecting on patterns that don't serve you, or really allowing your shadow side to surface to question if it's actually positively serving your best interests - then you're wasting your time in life.

I know this may sound harsh but sometimes thoughts and emotions need to be stirred up to see other perspectives.

Our time is limited on this planet called Earth. If you are having difficulties in life with obsessive thoughts, erratic emotions, addictive behaviours, relationships, and incessantly blaming everyone else, whether for past behaviours or injustices, or constantly blaming and judging yourself harshly, I can tell you that there is internal work to be done.

In all honesty, I believe that our whole lot in life is to heal - to heal this lifetime and the lifetime of our ancestors.

I have been on the healing journey for decades. At one time in the far past, I thought I had an end goal: that all the pain, grief, anger, resentment, and sadness, for example, would just leave me, and I would be this "new" person. This was true to some degree, but its not complete. I thought I would be on this new found path where "nothing would bother me." I would be free from all these low vibrational energies and somehow, I would have all wonderful dreamy experiences. Reviewing my past belief system, it looks as though I was in complete denial, but I think it was mostly plain old ignorance (which simply means, having a lack of knowledge or information. Remember that ignorance is different from stupidity.)

What I have come to learn over the years of healing and learning to manage my emotions and obsessive thoughts is that I am now much more equipped than ever before by way of utilizing the many skills I learned to manage myself (e.g., mental and emotional regulation) and to change my emotional and mental state. Over the course of many years, with continued practice, I have learned to be more calm and at peace internally when things or events outside of myself seem to be falling apart.

While utilizing many healing modalities, I've transmuted much heavy and dark energy acquired from the developmental trauma and teen violence and assaults (such as the energies of shame, guilt, betrayal, anger, and depression). I was also able to confront the dark parasitic energies that lived on and near me. Over the years, I've made decisions to improve my state, and I have in many ways, but it wasn't until I did some deep work with the teachings of Ramtha and Star Magic Healing when I started to look within with integrity and honesty.

Have you ever said to yourself, "what they don't know won't hurt them" or "a little white lie doesn't mean anything" or "it's better not to say anything because I don't want to hurt anyone." I started looking at this way of thinking as not being my true Self. Who am I actually trying to save when I say these things? This is a distorted way of thinking. It has nothing to do with saving anyone. Clearly, it is a lie, and when you lie, you are bringing on low vibrational and dark frequencies. And, most important, you are lying to yourself.

Living in your truth is about authenticity and transparency and nothing less than that. Genuine and wholesome relationships are about truth and honesty. If you have to lie or hide anything about yourself or what you do, there is a problem in the relationship, and it will never be healthy.

I made many decisions to be a better person over the years, and once again I upleveled what a better person should look like - one filled with love, authenticity, genuineness, and truthfulness no matter what. I chose to be conscious of my behaviours and my emotions. And with that, came a lot of work to raise awareness. Just a side note: an all encompassing awareness does not occur with some revelation at one point in time; it is a constant everlasting ever-upgrading journey.

Anyway, healing did not only include my addictions or rattling off my mouth or judging others and self with self-righteousness. I started looking at behaviours that even I tried to hide from myself. You know the one's that make your heart pitter-patter because you know you're doing something that is not in alignment with who you are. For me, it was the subtle manipulations to get my way or deceive others. This was one of the shadows that I didn't want to admit to myself. How could I? So, instead of healing it, I would justify using the victimhood mentality, like "They deserved it."

During the healing journey, though, I realized this was a behaviour I picked up when I was trying to survive in a home full of chronic abuse. It was a behaviour that kept me alive! I was vindictive, indignant, aloof, and manipulative. These traits served me well. They got me off the streets and into a home when I was thirteen. I was protected. However, these behaviours that served me well as a young child and teen became behaviors that I carried into my adult life. Now it was time to work through them.

I do no agree with masking problems and deep pain with positivity by telling myself everything is fine with a façade of happiness if I haven't done the deep inner work. Masking is choosing to stay in denial and ignoring feelings that need to be transmuted.

Growing up with chronic trauma, children learn to live in whatever state works for them which also includes dissociation - another survival mechanism that protects them from going "mad" (or losing their mind). However, if we haven't sorted out these behaviours with a trusted loved one (or professional), we carry these behaviours into adulthood affecting all of our relationships.

This is not something to feel bad about and judge yourself for. I've heard many clients say that "they should've known better." Society has deliberately conditioned us to shame ourselves. Have you ever had a judge, teacher, or law enforcement officers shame you? The last ticket I received, the officer stated that his child could do and knows better than me. Is this not shaming? It sure is! Shaming keeps you in a state of obedience and people-pleasing. I had family members in the past say that I was childish and dramatic because I was confronting someone concerning their disrespectful behaviour. Another form of shaming. Many parents shame their children without even knowing it, because that's the way they've been taught to raise their children by their parents who knew no better.

The point of the matter is that when you take the time to heal from chronic abuse and developmental trauma, you learn to increase your self-worth. Self-worth is a very different self-concept from self-esteem, which is typically used incorrectly on the internet and many posts.

Self-worth is a deep "knowing" that you are valued; that you are worthy of someone's love and attention; that you are deserving of happiness, health, wealth, and love irrespective of the disappointments and difficulties you face. That by being you, a human being born onto this planet, is enough! When one feels unworthy or worthless, one operates from a place of, "I'm not significant or valuable" or "I'm undeserving of love and attention." Self-worth is an internal state of being that comes from self-love, self-understanding, and self-acceptance."

Self-worth is a massive self-concept that rises up from within when you begin to let go of the baggage and heal yourself, but it takes time to move through things. Our time is limited here on this planet. Leave a legacy that will inspire your children to heal. How beautiful is that.

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree

Create Work that Fits Your Lifestyle and Way of Being

2025-02-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

My nursing contract ended at the end of November, so I 've had some time to rest, relax, contemplate and catch up on some unpacking. At the same time, a new puppy was brought into the family. Our last Labrador Retriever passed in June of 2024. It was time for another one. Our dogs have kept us busy, but they also bring great joy!

Anyway, my husband and I moved from Vancouver Island a few years back (2014). It was a short three years on the Island. We are originally from the North Shore's West Vancouver area. We moved back because we wanted to be closer to our combined five grown sons. Looking back in hindsight, we honestly wished we stayed on the Island. Our kids were growing up fast, and they were busy with their own lives. We didn't see them as often as we thought we would've.

Anyway, we landed back on the mainland. When we got here, we didn't find a home that we really loved, so we said to ourselves that this place was only temporary. Temporary has now been 11 years!

Soon after arriving to the lower mainland, I moved to the Central Okanagan to go to university for four years. Of course, I was back and forth visiting during breaks and holidays.

Once I received my degree at UBC, I moved back to the North Shore and started a masters degree, and once COVID lockdowns were lifted, I began working various nursing jobs. I thought a masters degree would help me out a bit since I was already in my late fifties. I wasn't like the other students, just getting started in life.

However, positions were difficult to find in the lower mainland especially because I did not work acute care, and I gather there was a lot more competition here in the bigger city than in smaller communities. I couldn't work nights due to my migraines. Taking pharmaceuticals on a regular basis to relieve the pain was not an option for me, and I wasn't about to sacrifice my health doing night shifts. This rubbed the health authorities at Vancouver Coastal Health and the Fraser Valley Health Authorities the wrong way.

The health authorities repeatedly told me that I "had" to work acute care, which they stated "always" included night shifts, before I applied for any other positions, otherwise they wouldn't even look at my resume. Vancouver Coastal Health and the Fraser Health Authority didn't give a rat's ass about this disability, and with less than a handful of recruiters that sift through resumes, it was impossible to get in the door. I was still able to work for the federal and provincial governments as well as some private companies. I managed.

I worked short-term at various positions, but nothing really fit. (Does a job ever really fit?) To be honest, I never really coped well; the energy and stamina needed for nursing was insane. We all, literally, ran our feet off throughout the entire shift and by the end of the day, we looked ragged. I wasn't the only one that looked badly worn out; the young one's did as well. We always gabbed about why we made this career choice. Probably because we didn't really know what we were getting ourselves into, but many said it was for the money/hourly wage.

Driving through traffic for an hour and then some was also another issue. I didn't want my job to take up all of my life. These weren't the only issues. Many of the roles were conflicting with my core values, especially in light of COVID and everything that started to come up for me.

As a result, I decided to look for a nursing position out of town. Perhaps, living in a smaller town would help, and this could be our way of moving out of the busy city. My husband and I had been talking about moving out of the chaos of the city for some time now. Watching the amount of development going up on the North Shore was insane (and it still is).

As a result, a couple of, three years back, I found a position up in the Kootenays. Workplace violence was the norm with a tyrant administrator, so I ended up back on the North Shore.

I got hired on for another position. This time it was in the South Okanagan. However, I lived at Apex Mountain Resort, about a 1-1/2 hour drive from work. After five months of driving, it was slowly wearing me down - driving three hours to work and back; working 12-hour shifts and constantly being short-staffed; and looking for a place that was closer to live. I started to struggle physically, mentally, and emotionally. Driving and working these long hours may have worked if my family was close by, but being alone and under stress, I didn't want that lifestyle.

I definitely enjoyed working with the care staff. Everyone was so supportive. We laughed a lot, even under so much stress. In many ways it was great, but the workload was not manageable. I also adored our DOC, but it just wasn't working. I couldn't maintain this pace.

The housing crisis is real up in the Okanagan, but it is like that in the Vancouver area too. This made it a real challenge finding a home that was affordable but to also accommodate our pup.

Anyway, I started working for a couple of travel nursing companies. Some of these companies are quite shady, so be warey. Nurses talk! Job sites want you because of the constant shortage, but they don't want to properly accommodate you. Some housing isn't safe. Living conditions are shared rooms: shared bathrooms and kitchens, sometimes without kitchen pots, pans, plates, and utensils. This leaves the nurse having to go out and buy these items that will most likely be left there because she typically arrives with a luggage full of clothes.

At my age, this type of nursing is really not suitable for me. I should have thought about this career choice more thoroughly before spending six years (specific to nursing only) in school plus all of the upgrading. (At that time I wasn't awake to the matrix.) I refuse to accept just any role. My boundaries are greater than someone in their 20's or 30's and they just keep getting stronger. I will compromise a lot. I will sacrifice a lot, and I have, but I won't bend over backwards to accommodate many of these places to what they are asking. For example, many young employees will work for free. They will not clock in their overtime. This is becoming the norm in the workforce, and I refuse to do this. At some point, I will voice myself and that is never accepted positively by most leaders. As a result, these decisions shorten the list of places I can work.

I've noticed right from the gecko that employers don't care about you. (It took me a long time to learn this!) They have their demands, and if you don't comply to their ultimatums, they really don't give a shit. You're out.

Think about this. My husband received a clock and a watch when he left a company of thirty five years. He was a broker and made his boss multiple millions of dollars over the course of three and a half decades. Another company, he received another clock for eight years of work. Really a clock?! Fuck the clocks!!! Your time means nothing to them.

So during my time off, contemplating much, I started unpacking boxes that have been packed for several years. I was tired of living in boxes for so many years pursuing a career that didn't seem like it was going anywhere. I also started unloading - giving a lot of items to the Salvation Army. Being a family of seven (with the children now all moved out), we collected a lot of stuff; it was time to minimize a bit. I also changed some of the décor. I wanted to brighten things up to lift our spirits.

This leads me to what I really wanted to say. For the past few months or year, I gather, I started to change how I live. I'm making more of my own products at home. I cook whole foods more often. I'm buying many things from local farms. I bake rather than buy boxed. I've make skin care products and makeup. I also make my own hand and laundry soap. For example, today I ran out of liquid hand soap. I pulled out my products and made a couple of batches for the bathrooms. It's very easy once you have the items in stock at home. I also baked some sandwich bread, banana bread, and cookies, and started a couple of jars of sprouts from seed. All from scratch; not one item from a cardboard box.

Although I love doing this, it takes a lot of time. I can understand why we all love convenience! As a result, I am trying to figure out how to maintain a whole foods and natural product lifestyle (with a small vegetable and herb garden in the summer months, too) and a nursing position. Is this even possible? Or another question I can ask is, how can I maintain my nursing registration and utilize my nursing skills and education with the new lifestyle I am leading? Is this possible when my core values don't align with so much of a nurses role. In hindsight, I wish I kept my registration for counselling! I love talking about the psyche, energy, coaching, metaphysics/spirituality, personal development . . .!

I just turned 60 and with that, it makes me think about the remainder of my life. Time is limited and of the essence. My work has to fit my lifestyle. I no longer want to 'fit in' what I love to do around my job because a nursing job takes so much time and space in my life. I definitely love to chat with others and support the elderly in many ways; it is quite a joy, but to shovel pharmaceuticals in their mouths multiple times a day when many are not ever aware of what is going on, is challenging.

I honestly don't want to kill myself anymore for a company that doesn't give a shit about me or any other employee. It's always about the bottom line and not your health or quality of life. With the positions I've had, I have also come to realize that I am a number, and I am disposable!

I am ambitious and I am passionate. I am a hard worker. I know what I am capable of and what I can accomplish when I am committed. I haven't focused my energy toward something 'specific' that includes what I love to do and what I want my life to look like recently.

The Great Awakening is here! Can you feel it? Sometimes it's almost like I can't keep up because of the many shifts. Anyway, I want my lifestyle to reflect the Truth of my Divine Self and to support the awakening process of humanity.

This is where life coaching, counselling and spiritual mentoring comes in. Why did I let it go? Why didn't I stay consistent with it? I know! I left it because I went into a state of fear. I believed that I needed a secure job. Ha! What a f'ing joke! As you age ... safe and secure? ... far from it! How secure is having a job or being an employee for someone else? It isn't!

Anyway, there is so much to think about. With thoughtful reflection, letting go and allowing, and all the energy work I am doing, clarity is surfacing.

In the end, let's create work that fits our divine lifestyle and way of being.

It's really all about removing ourselves from the hooks of the slave system.

Until we meet again.

Much love,

Desiree Leigh

From the Queen of Victimhood to Sovereignty

2025-01-24T15:18:00.000-08:00

Raise your hand if you can honestly say to yourself that you can be the best queen of victimhood, at times? Come on, let's be honest with ourselves!

This year as I was setting up the things I wanted to focus on for 2025, a lot of limits and rules came up for me.

For example:

1. Boundaries, to honour my true self.

2. A daily spiritual practice, such as meditation and yoga.

3. Minimizing or unloading, such as furniture or other small items not needed.

4. Keeping things simple, which includes things like meals, shopping lists, and clothing.

5. Daily and conscious living in the heart - checking in hourly or more.

6. Spending more time in nature, connecting and praying.

. . .

I have other goals such as strength training, kundalini yoga teacher training, as well as learning to use my shamanic drum, but the first six I listed are more about conscious daily rituals for my spiritual path. I want (I actually need this!) my spiritual path to be at the forefront of my life, and for my work to reflect my spiritual path.

Many of us have lives where we go to work because we need a paycheck only to compromise our values on a daily basis. Most people would also say, "Well, that's just the way life is." I disagree.

Here is an example of what I mean. If you believed in the entire COVID hoax, you would have submitted to the vaccines and the mask mandates. l will never say that COVID was not real, but when you do the research, the COVID virus has been around for many decades. Right now, we are all living in a hologram and it is our responsibility to wake up to it. Again, another blog post. :)

In any event, I am not here to argue about COVID, but what I am hear to say is that if you worked in the health care field, you would've had to submit to their mandates or get fired, which thousands of nurses did. Mainstream media likes to low ball how many actually got fired due to the vaccine mandates, but that (again) is another story.

For the past several years, I have been trying to "fit in" my spiritual path and practice with my current work. I've been working at a job that is not in alignment with my core values. Then I have to switch when I leave work. For example, at work a nurse was giving out the influenza vaccine. Everyone was rolling up their sleeves to get the free vaccine administered. I was rather quiet to avoid the whole thing, but eventually a couple of the nurses asked me why I wasn't getting mine. I just said, "I had a reaction the last couple of times I got it, so I'd rather not get it." She looked at me with skepticism, but it still shows you that I am lying and compromising my truth to keep the role I am in.

You ask, "How is this working for me?" I say, "Not well!" The differences in energy have become too much to bare. I feel like a coward and a fraud. Because of this, during these past few months I have been considering a role in my work that aligns with who I am so I don't have to compromise myself, my non-negotiables, or my core values.

In the process of doing all of these things, with daily meditation practices and connecting to my Dreamer, I have become acutely aware of my state of being - meaning whether I am in victim mode or when I am self-empowered. It's not like I'm impressed with myself when I realize I'm in victim mode. Sometimes, I'd simply like to justify my victimhood and move on so I don't have to change. But how is that going to work for me? It's not. No one said that growth and healing are easy. Self-awareness can shake you to the core and make you sick to your stomach! But we all have a choice how we proceed forward when we do become self-aware of some thing that needs change.

As you can imagine and most likely know, you can't change anything if you stay in the victim mode. Once I become aware of something, and if I choose to put the lid of ignore or denial on it, how will that help me? It won't. Self-awareness is key to change. The best way to do this is to consciously catch yourself when you are in that state of victimhood (the sooner the better), acknowledge or declare it (because this is how you take responsibility), and then look at another way to go about things.

For example, sometimes I whine about my situation/circumstances and why it isn't different or I feel stuck. The moment I catch myself quietly mumbling these thoughts, I then ask myself, "How can I be more sovereign?" "What does being sovereign look like?" "Who must I become to a divine sovereign being?"

Many of us don't even realize that we are in a victim mode because we are so used to being in it (scroll and read comments on FB and see how many people are in a state of victimhood!), but the more you pull yourself out of these thought processes and emotional patterns that hold you back by asking good questions, the sooner you are to a sovereign and happier life.

Much Love,

Desiree

Avoid Fanaticism! What Are Your Non-Negotiables for 2025

2025-01-24T13:33:00.000-08:00

I heard this quote when I was watching a video hosted by Dr. Steven Greer.

"Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim." George Santyana

I was fascinated by this quote. I never looked at this perspective, and because of that, I had to ponder this quote for some time; it still blows me away.

In essence, let's say, I create some goal(s) in January (or whenever), and, at some point in my life, I lose track, focus, or aim of this goal. We all know what that's like when we get too busy or some unexpected event(s) show up in life (and they will!). Anyway, because I forget my aim, I kind of forget what my goal is all about. Instead of slowing down or stopping to reevaluate my goal, I simply keep forging ahead (or bulldozing ahead slightly unconscious) thinking that I know my aim, when in fact, I don't because I had forgotten it or it got blurry. The goal is no longer clear to me. With that, I double down my efforts thinking I need to work harder, faster, or whatever, but I am not getting anywhere!

And then, perhaps, we give up . . . or . . .

So, now that you know my fascinations regarding this quote, perhaps it can remind you about your newly made 2025 goals or what you want to focus on this year and the importance of checking in regularly to see if you are on track or need some adjustments.

But before we get to that, I always like to re-consider my non-negotiables. You know, the things you will not sacrifice for anything. And these non-negotiables (e.g., family time, hiking/swimming, yoga/grounding, etc.) should be considered prior to writing your short-term and long-term goals.

I have many a times jumped into the grand goal setting template only to find out a month or so into it, that I am not happy or, rather, I am not aligned with the goal due to compromising my non-negotiables or my core values. In essence, your non-negotiables correspond with your core values.

At the same time, when you don't take into consideration your non-negotiables or your core values when setting goals, you can fully participate in Santyana's quote. You will surely begin to double down on your efforts trying to blast out that unhappiness, procrastination, irritability . . . But the problem doesn't lie in just trying harder and doing faster; it is about self-awareness.

"Why are those feelings coming up?" should be the question you ask yourself. Evaluating weekly, monthly, and quarterly is a good strategy to make sure you are going where you want to go - that you are on track, and if not to readjust.

So, what are your non-negotiables for 2025? Did you consider them in December of 2024 or are you just starting now. I am actually beginning to adopt the pre-modern times calendar when the New Year actually started in March/April. Why? Because why start in the dead of winter when everything is sleeping or hibernating; it is a time of rest and contemplation. This is the best time to consider your goals, and when the New Year arrives in spring, growth begins. Let things germinate first just as the seed does.

What's most important, do what works for you. However, as I age, I am changing things up dramatically. Not in a way as though I am doing it to satisfy the trend or wave of what is happening in society. This is so much more; it's internal, and it's a sense of knowing - the best divine thing to follow.

Much love,

Desiree

Healing With Psychedelics

2024-12-30T14:28:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember, I struggled with the internal battle between my ego mind and my heart. While my heart constantly sent me loving divine, subtle messages to guide me, my ego mind was strong, determined, loud, berating and very convincing causing skepticism, mistrust, guilt, and indecision to what was truth.

For decades my ego mind won the back-and-forth battle the majority of the time. This battle led by my ego took me on a journey of years of academia, the pursuit of knowledge and reason, from the indoctrinated educational system, believing that this was the way to my truth. I was convinced that education and degrees were going to be the best way to learn good information to get me a safe, decent job that would take me into my retirement years. Was I ever wrong!

Inevitably, this path pushed me further away from my heart and imprisoned me in my ego mind, so utterly disconnected from my body and soul. The ego is not only loud. It is very deceitful and manipulative.

To try to change my way of being and to heal myself from this insanity, I pursued psychotherapy, for over a decade, which helped in many ways. It showed me what a healthy relationship looked like. It made me see my parents as victims of their upbringing, and it made me understand why I did what I did - I created awareness to my situation and circumstances.

However, even after the 10+ years of therapy, writing three books (which was somewhat cathartic), and utilizing various healing modalities (e.g., good nutrition, exercise (strength training), acupuncture . . .), I was still left with an emptiness sort of feeling hanging around. I still struggled - perhaps not as much, for sure - but I still struggled with the strength of the ego mind making decisions that did not align with my heart or my truth.

After a lot of research and talking with others about psychedelic medicines, I began to understand some of the great benefits. Soon after, I started microdosing. However, the more I read, the more I realized that taking a larger, controlled dose with someone to guide you through the journey was more beneficial. With that, the healing that occurred with larger doses was dependent on how the psychedelics were used. Using psychedelics socially, was not a good form of healing; though, it may bring out fantastic deep spiritual discussions. However, deep emotional and mental healing was dependent upon how it was used and the intentions set as well as who was there with you in the ceremony to witness the healing.

I started my journey with psychedelic healing in 2024. I've attended two ceremonies so far. The two experiences were very different. The lead healers supported us with setting our intentions. There are typically about 7 - 10 of us, at most. We are separated on the floor to give us space. We start by setting the intention. Then we go into breath work which releases a lot of built up internal tension. Much healing happens during this time, too. Then we have a short break and head into the medicine ceremony with music and much guidance by our loving healers. We also have angels (individuals (that have done and know the journey) that support us as needed. At the end, we eat lightly and integrate our journey, not only during that evening but for weeks after the ceremony.

Integration is, basically, about being open to unfolding potential for healing, change, and growth from the psychedelic experience in all relationships, such as self and others including universal consciousness.

Healing is definitely not for the faint of heart - you cannot lack strength or courage to face difficulties, because that is what healing is all about; to show you your shadows (shadow work) and what needs to be changed in a state of love and grace. In the end, it is your free will to change or follow your internal guidance, but you will definitely know when you are not aligned with your heart.

The psychedelic journey takes you out of your imprisoned ego mind and into your heart. You bypass the mind with ease to feel your heart and soul and heal. For me, much healing has occurred. With that, much change also has occurred. And to change, hard decisions have been made.

I always say, life is short. You never really know when it is your time to go. How do you want to lead the next 10 years of your life? Indoctrinated into the narrative of the matrix? Or living your divine truth for the betterment of humanity and mother earth?

Much Love,

Desiree

Making Your Own Skin Care Products Out of Necessity

2024-12-15T20:46:00.000-08:00

Out of necessity and being fed up of the cosmetic industry (as well as many other industries, including the food industry), I started to make my own skin care, hair care, and dental care products out of scratch. I think I started about 12 months ago, just dabbling and only using small amounts and limited product.

When I dove down the rabbit hole and started to realize the many heresies about who was actually controlling this world and their desired end goal, slowly, and one-day-at a time (with quite a few hiccups), I started to review ingredients listed on the product bottles and labels. Reviewing these label and what was actually in our products and the absurd amount of money we pay for these products that actually poison us, I took it upon myself to make my own. My grandparents did it; they made their own laundry detergent, soaps, creams, and ointments as well as teas and coffees, tinctures, and many other herbal remedies, so why can't I!

Hollyweird and the cosmetic industry promote products that contain baby foreskin cells, and more than likely other baby tissue and/or cells that are in the skin care products. Don't get me started on Planned Parenthood and the abortion industry and the sale for these parts. It's ludicrous.

Stem cell treatments, I get the reasoning behind it for joints or cardiac tissue for repair, but we need ethical guidelines. However, ethics and moral do not exist in these industries when they sell you on beauty. The beauty industry is Big Business and Big Money! This industry has gone awry but I know it's been awry for decades. The question we should ask is, "Does it have any morals?" "Do they actually care about humanity?" Or is it all about the dollar. You can answer that question yourself when you have gone down the rabbit hole. If you haven't gone down the rabbit hole, you don't qualify to respond.

I started making my own products when I went down the rabbit hole and came to realize that almost every product has some petroleum or gas product, alcohol (which dehydrates), and additives or other chemical preservatives that are actual poison, like potassium sorbate. The research, that is always paid for by the big corporations, will "always" tell you that they have your best interest at heart. They don't. You are being lied to. It's their bottom line that they have an interest in, not humanity! Just read any of the skin care products you've recently purchased sold by any of the cosmetic companies and you will see what I mean.

Read my previous blog post An Extraterrestrial Changed My Life Forever to review some of the books I read; this compilation that I listed in this blog post was small, but it can get you started. It can get you on the path of critical thinking, questioning everything, and having an open mind to what is actually happening in the world.

Anyway, I started out by making a moisturizer because that was what I ran out of. My first basic recipe was coconut oil and lavender essential oil. Lavender essential oil is so calming to the mind and skin. I absolutely love this plant and I grow it in my back yard, too. Clearly, my puppy loves it as much as I do. She is constantly gnawing on the flowers or simply sitting in the plants. It's either lavender, rosemary, or pine needles for her. She might have been an herbalist in her past life. lol

Lavender Coconut Oil Moisturizer

1 cup virgin coconut oil

20-30 drops of lavender essential oil

8 oz jar with lid

Slowly melt coconut oil. Add essential oils (increase or decrease essential oils to your preference). I'd start low and increase to your liking. Place in jar with lid. Store in fridge. Because there are no preservatives in the moisturizer, I like to keep it in the fridge. I also love the cool feeling when I rub it on my face, neck and chest.

Seeing An Extraterrestrial Pushed Me Down the Rabbit Hole

2023-02-09T11:14:00.009-08:00

“Until one is fully committed to one’s goals of healing, there is uncertainty and hesitation. The chance to retreat is high because when one starts moving forward without an underlying commitment, one withdraws to the well-known place of comfort and convenience.” Desiree Leigh Thompson

Something quite miraculous happened to me in 2022.

But let me digress and rant a bit which is most likely why this experience came about. In March 2022, I was stressed out, burnt-out, and constantly working overtime (OT) without pay. The College at the time stated that “a 30-hour work week was for work-life balance”, yet the hours I worked was never 30 hours per week. It always added up to so much more. There was the online teaching, but then there was grading papers, student-teacher advising and support, team meetings, (and so much more), so my work never finished in 30 hours. The college wanted their employees to know that this was an important practice, but the college never adhered to these guidelines and even though the leads knew about the unpaid OT work, they did nothing to change things.

I can’t tell you how many team meetings I attended only to hear, from other instructors, the amount of work that was needed to be done to support students and take on a newly revised health care program for students. However, working OT fell on deaf ears. Nonetheless, the instructors that brought up their OT work then would say, “I don’t mind” most likely because they wanted to keep their jobs.

I can definitely say I learned a lot due to the leadership skills I attained and the freedom I had with curriculum revising, monitoring classroom dynamics, etc. However, to say that it was a 30-hour week, was a lie. Passive, docile, and apathetic individuals are simply taking these jobs without a stance, so they can keep a comfortable job, but have these individuals evaluated their personal and professional values and ethics. It's crazy the amount of people that do things that they normally wouldn't do just to keep their job. I get it. We all need money to survive. But to compromise your principles is beyond me. When one does not align with their principles, one is living in cognitive dissonance and disharmony with self. You are lying to yourself - one of the worst things you can do for your self-esteem.

That wasn’t the sole problem, though. I completed my Master of Science in nursing degree in 2021. I started working full-time before I finished it and didn’t stop. I was unhappy with all jobs I was employed with due to the extreme stress, not necessarily with the people I worked with, but the intensity and expectations of the jobs. Typically, to get the job done, you bulldoze through a lot of stuff that should be considered but management doesn't care. Smooth it over and all is well is their moto.

First, I began to think about why I went into nursing and how working for health care in BC compromised my principles. Did I not think about this before I went to school? And if not why not? I also began to really think about this rat-race we live in. How is it possible to get educated, spend so much money and time in school, and then get a job that is, literally, killing me physically, psychologically, and spiritually. The job was demanding and stressful, my body always in the stress response cycle - fight and flight mode - but it was also the commute, the feeling of breathlessness, always in a hurry: to get to work, at work, and then to get home in rush hour only to blast through shopping, dinner, laundry, and then start this all over again. I was also fed up with this entire Covid thing. So called health experts were stating that we would probably need to have annual boosters. I started to become suspicious and skeptical of so many thing we were conditioned to believe. So many things were "off" and didn't feel right. This was not life!

At this point, I threw up my arms and said to myself that something had to change; this lifestyle was crazy! I made a commitment to start a disciplined exercise program even if it was just walking every other day as well as starting a meditation practice on a regular basis. With meditation, many revelations and truths started to surface. Rather than continue to read material and research that was in alignment with my thought processes, I started to question things. I started to sit with myself rather than reach out to find the answers.

I was willing to truly consider evidence that contradicted my beliefs and admit the possibility that I may be wrong in some areas I was adamant about. I became more open to new views and attitudes about the educational, governmental, and financial institutions, as well as the healthcare systems which included the research we were fed by institutions.

At some point, I came across Ramtha School of Enlightenment (RSE) and started some online courses with RSE. I learned about involution and evolution and many other things. This is when I started to practice the breath of fire and journal my experiences. (Just a side note: it was interesting to see Dr Joe Dispenza there at Ramtha's School many years ago practicing Ramtha's Teachings - he was video taped there as an audience member. I'm surprised he has never mentioned where he received his teachings.)

Anyway, I started the breath of fire in meditation to support my practice and to support my health. I was only just understanding the whole concept of this exercise, practicing it for about ten days. Then in a such strange way, on September 27, 2022, I had the experience of meeting with an extraterrestrial (ET) in my front yard during daylight hours - conscious and fully awake and alert.

I've had many parapsychological experiences throughout childhood, teen and adult years, but this was completely different. Even with all the parasites and dark energies I had experienced (I gather due to the developmental trauma I'd experienced and acquiring C-PTSD) through feelings, knowings, and seeings in my field, this experience changed my life forever. But, the experience also initiated going down the rabbit holes.

This is how it occurred: I completed my breath of fire with Ramtha's audio. It was about 25-30 minutes. After that, I was itching to go outside after the practice to take my dog for a walk. I was rushing around, like the usual ADHD behaviour. I said to myself if I didn't get outside with the dog now, I wasn't going to go. So I got the leash on Jasper and headed out the door. I walked down the front stairs and turned left to where my car was parked, outside in the open driveway. I heard this clanging - it sounded like a socket wrench, so I looked up. What appeared to be a large man, he and I made eye contact and I nodded my head, as to acknowledge that he was there, (and as I assumed) atop the telephone pole, about 12 feet high. He appeared to be wearing a white hard hat and dark round glasses with a large socket wrench in the left hand. It made sense in my mind as I was in a frantic state to get in the car. I didn't think much of it at that point. As I pulled out of the driveway, I very quickly referenced a white city truck (or so I thought) through the trees. Again, to me, this made "sense."

So I called my husband as I was driving to tell him that I was coming down to his location of work to park the car and walk the dog on the nearby trail at the harbour. I shared with him that we had a man at the top of a post; "It must be a telephone pole", I said. I even stated to him that the pole was being inserted about 10 to 12 feet away from the main road, and, in a confused state, asked why they were placing it there. It didn't make sense. Anyway, I was gone for about 1 1/2 hours at most.

As I turned the corner nearing my home, I began to think about the 'man' that I saw at the top of the telephone pole. However, as I approached the house, I looked for this post; I didn't see anything. My mind started to wonder, "What's going on?!" I was also expecting to see a city vehicle there - through the trees, but there was nothing. Now, I am absolutely confused and dumbfounded. I thought perhaps they (the telephone or cable company) made a mistake and they placed it in the wrong area and moved.

I pulled into the driveway, got my dog out and walked into the house. After I got my dog settled, I started to think about what just happened. I make some tea, and with my tea in hand, I walk out to the area I met this man. I stopped and observed, but things didn't make sense. "How could the post ever have been planted there when there are large trees and branches in the way?" "Why are there no hole in the ground or foot prints on the soil?" The soil is untouched. "Why don't I see any signs of change in that areas?, such as trees cut or any evidence that a person or persons were there."

I know what I saw. I shared this experience with my husband, so it was real. Then I asked myself why did I needed to see this and what was the purpose.

As you can imagine my life took a huge turn. From that point on, I went on a mission and started researching other people’s experiences. I pretty much went down the rabbit hole devouring everything. Every time I'd ask a question, the answer felt as though it literally fell on my lap, typically they'd come within hours but sometimes just a few days. I started looking into many other platforms about aliens, other dimensions, interstellar activities, and so on. I also knew that I had to be cautious with the material, so discernment was extremely necessary. I picked up several books purchased on Amazon but many published books back in the 50’s and 60’s were free online. I ravenously read material and watched videos on Substack, Rumble and Odysee. My contract with the college was almost over and so I was able to take some time for myself and read everything I could get my hands on. Here are some books: Alien Interview, by Spencer; Psychic Warrior, by Morehouse, The Club of Rome, by Coleman; The Committe of 300, by Coleman; The Voyageurs, by Ashayana Deane; Behold A Pale Horse, by Cooper; The Real Anthony Fauci, by Kennedy; Bloodlines of the Illuminati, by Springmeier. . .

I started writing this blog on 03/09/2023, 8 months after the alien encounter; it was live for about 24 hours before I changed it back to draft. Today, it is 12/14/2024. Much has happened and changed since this experience on 09/27/2022. I not only feel more comfortable in expressing myself, but living this life in a state of authenticity is where it is really at. There is no going back; I know who I am. I am learning how to be more authentic everyday that I live in a state of presence. I'm not saying it is easy; far from that, but living from my heart allows me to be more authentic and that is where I am true to myself.

I've had many more light experiences after this one which I will continue to share with you. I will also share some of the parasite and dark energetic experiences too so that you can realize that the dark side is only one side of us and to not fear it. I am going back to writing blog posts to sort through my thoughts but also to share with others like you, to realize that we are so much more than this 3D world of slavery.

If there is one piece of advice I can give you, be discerning, be curious, be open-minded and ask a lot of questions. To do this, go into your heart and get present. This is a practice that is worthy of your time. Humans have been conditioned to be distracted with media, social media, the news, influencers . . .. Humanity has also been conditioned to be lazy, apathetic, and docile with the poisons in our air, food, soil and water. Go beyond that. Find a way to get passed that feeling and become that spiritual warrior! Any negative thoughts that surface as you learn and grow, say "These are not my thoughts." Then send them to the cosmos with love.

I know this blog post is a bit choppy but understanding the real event, it would take up a lot of writing and pages to really get the gist of it. This is a bit of a synopsis if that.

Much love,

Desiree

Why Is Self-Correction Important to Self-Love?

2022-10-28T14:21:00.004-07:00

Learning to love oneself takes self-correction.

Whenever we think of self-love, we think about doing things like,

prioritizing oneself
being true to oneself
being nice to oneself
setting boundaries
forgiving oneself
saying "no"
taking a nap
taking a walk
breathing deeply
sitting in stillness
eating nutritiously
emotional regulation
making a gratitude list
connecting with friends
communicating honestly with others

These acts of self-care are all part of growing ones self-love. Engaging in routine self-care has been clinically proven to assist in reducing depression, anxiety, stress, frustration, and anger while increasing happiness and energy and leading to better relationships. When one is in this state of taking care of ones own needs, one is, for example, more appreciative of life. One is taking responsibility for their own health and wellbeing which promotes more self-love.

But how do we take action when we are busy with our family and work, or caught up in ruminating thoughts that keep us absent from the present moment?

Self-correction.

Self-correction is simply the process of correcting oneself (in the present moment) when things begin to go wrong, without outside help or external instructions. By being in the present moment of now, this is where you will have conscious thought of what to do next.

How do you self-correct? When you are lost in thought or "mindless" which means that you are not in the present moment, you need to find an effective strategy to get present so that you can self-correct rather than go into that state of emotional overdrive which then is a spiral downhill through your nervous system and into a negative vibrational frequency.

Learning how to be mindful is important to the self-correction process. If you are mindless and lost in thought (such as thinking about the next task(s), the next call(s), the next appointment(s)), you will not be present enough to know what to do next to stay in a higher vibrational frequency of self-love.

Ask and You Will Receive Divine Interventions

2022-09-30T10:18:00.004-07:00

Ask and you Will receive divine intervention. It's so simple, isn't it?!

When you are curious, when you are concerned, when you are confused, when you feel lonely, when you feel scared, when you feel (whatever it may be), ask a question not from a place of a 'woe-is-me attitude', a 'poor-me', or a 'sullen' attitude, for example, but from an attitude that has a strong intention of knowing, an attitude that demands with a sense of love, to know the truth. Then the truth will come whether through an external or internal voice, an image, a feeling, or a knowing, and you will understand.

When I stop asking questions because I am so caught up in my day-to-day tasks (e.g., stressed out from work, traffic, or ruminating negative thoughts), I start to feel this low energy, a sense of sadness, anger, and even depression. I feel stuck! This is when, at some point, I start to ask questions about my 'mood' and with contemplation, I realize I'm no longer 'connected' to Life or my Isness. I finally awaken and start asking deeper and more significant questions than the menial day-to-day life tasks we need to accomplish or get hung up on, and, like magic, I move into a state of peace and calm and knowing.

So many changes have happened since March 2022 when I restarted meditation, but more so, when I started to ask or rather demand answers to my questions - question that were deep and meaningful. I asked plenty of questions over the year, and they served me well, but there is this Great shift happening in the world right now. If you cannot feel it, you are not present. Wake up to It!!!

Nothing has changed on the outside if you want to analyze my life, but SO much has changed on the inside; it's almost indescribable. A new humanity is being created - we are waking up to who we really are. We are understanding our Self.

Come with me. Come with us. We are One and All the same. Listen. Learn. Be.

With love and gratitude.

Simplicity Over Mass Confusion and Chaos

2022-09-20T14:52:00.024-07:00

This post is straight talk. It's brief. It doesn't go into a great amount of detail in regard to the various topics, but it is real and raw about the system we live in. There are also a lot of f-bombs being dropped here. If you can't stomach that, then stop here and move on!

* * *

As the world gets more complex with new technology and new gadgets to wear, like the Oura Smart Ring Generation 3, I'm working on simplifying my life. I don't know if it is my age, the generation, or the post-pandemic residuals, but I am finding that I am making different choices.

It really comes down to, what the f*c* makes me happy in the most simplest way possible. For decades, I struggled in life due to developmental and sexual trauma. Then I went to therapy for ten years and then I went to school . . . for years - certifications in counselling, yoga, and fitness, certifications in metaphysical ministering and mysticism, an associate degree in psychology, certifications in two coaching programs, a nursing undergraduate degree, and a masters degree . . . and yet with all this experience and education . . . sure education has increased analytical thinking, allowed me to see various perspectives, and gave me the knowledge and understanding about evidence-based research . . . I am totally unsatisfied with my life!

Just a side note: And I still have to get interviewed by some twenty something year old recruiter that has no f**k*** clue about life or how to take an interview questioning my integrity. Just consider this. When you apply to Fraser Health Authority in the province of British Columbia, you have about three recruiters for the entire Health Authority. You get on their bad side by not sucking up in the interview or even ask a question that may show your assertiveness and you're screwed. There is no more interview for you. Recruiters (who have no education in health) are the gatekeepers. I believe, with the entire Vancouver Island Health Authority, they have two recruiters. It's a f**k*** joke how this world works now. We are slaves to the systems cowing down to f**king recruiters to get a job. One wrong move and you're f**k*** out!

Anyway, it was during my undergraduate academic studies I realized this - the real archaic, corrupt, indoctrinating systems. The more you sucked up to the teachers, the more they liked you. The more they liked you, the better you were treated and the more leeway they would give you. On the other hand, the more you spoke out, the more resistance there was. You were called difficult, aggressive, and hostile. What they were looking for was for you to comply with the implicit (and explicit) rules of the educational system - learn what they teach and keep your mouth shut. This makes life easy for them, certainly. They don't want students to rock the boat or question what they are teaching and how they are teaching it, and neither do they want instructors questioning the system. (Undoubtedly, this is a very simplified explanation, but it gives you a little bit of a picture).

What's truly sad about this is that I am not sure if I really thought about my future so far in advance and what I would be doing. I spent so much time healing my pain to adjust my behavior and educating myself figuring that perhaps working at a job (also indoctrinated by parents) would show my potential, commitment, dedication, and loyalty to a company where they may just respect all the effort I put in, but I realized that doing life this way (getting a job and working for someone else), my future was dependent on the decisions of that one person. What happens if I spoke my mind about a project or a teaching modality, or disagreed with something and this intimidated (etc.) this individual, or someone spoke against me and they simply believed them and not me? This one person could change the direction of my future. How could I even think this way? My future dependent on someone else. Is that what we all do: go to school to get a degree or trade, work for a company, and when we are in our late 50's and 60's, they find a reason to let us go and all our training and hard work amounted to nothing? We are left unemployed and penniless and our self-esteem at the bottom of the bay?

* * *

After, I completed my masters degree, wow, was I in for a slap in the face. No matter what educational level you are at, it feels like you are constantly pleading for a job. "Please, please hire me!" with their three or four f**k*** part of an interview! F**king unreal! It's like you are becoming this brown nosing, weak, pathetic ass and your self-esteem is shot to hell. As well, with a job, it is implied that working overtime is okay and expected. The problem with this is that some companies may pay for overtime, while other companies simply expect overtime for free. I know now through interviews and stories, for example, that teachers grade assignments and prep for the week or each day on their own time. What the f**k generation started this?! Are you okay working for free? And, sometimes I even hear people say "I don't mind." That's the f**k*** problem. Canadians tolerate too much s***! We are such f**k*** wusses.

My entire perspective went from a mid-left wing Liberal to a right wing Conservative. It was like I was asleep for the last two and a half years and more. I woke up to a new dictionary of pronouns, and I woke up to hearing a group of people say that they didn't want to use the terms male or female anymore. This is misogynistic at it's finest and some people can't even f**k*** see this! If you have a vagina, you are a f**k*** female and if you have a penis, you are a f**k*** male. Simple! In an autopsy, your bones will disclose what gender you are. Perhaps we should give it a go now and do some sample testing to be sure! We have idiots that do not understand basic biology and who are convincing educators and politicians with the woe is me attitude and the left is falling for this.

I started meditating again earlier this year. I made a commitment to meditate everyday because what I was doing wasn't working anymore, as you can see; there was something wrong. With meditation, I started to ask deeper questions, questions that challenged my concepts of truth, and things started to dramatically change inside of me.

I tolerated. I bit my tongue. I sympathized. I listened! And, at one time, I thought this was a good thing because so many people indoctrinated me over the years by telling me that it was a good thing to empathize and be tolerant, but, I've come to realize with a rude awaking that it's not because there are some people that are just f**k*** ignorant (and they need to be told or educated). They, actually, believe that all of their thoughts and emotions are their truth. That's a sad f**k*** situation when you believe that all of your thoughts and feelings are your truth! Where is the f**k*** critical analysis? Where is the research? Don't believe everything you think, feel, or see. It's not all about f**k*** you.

So simplifying my life is about showing up and standing up for what is morally right when North Americans (not the world) are going f**k*** crazy which is creating a lot of chaos and mass confusion! It will be a pretty sad and pathetic state for the next generation of children growing up with this new sick and ill-willed indoctrination.

Simplifying is also about minimalism, being in nature, spending time with family - children, grandchildren - and working toward being independent from these systems that dictate how you should be and what you should think.

Photo by Sarah Dorweiler

The Divine Message that Saved My Life

2022-08-29T14:52:00.003-07:00

A miracle happened to me in 2011, and it saved my life. If I wasn’t practicing meditation and receiving messages already, I probably wouldn’t have trusted my gut. But then again, I shouldn’t say that because all my life, I’ve experienced various divine interventions and a knowing of who we truly are, but because I grew up with a lot of trauma – chronic childhood abuse, sexual abuse as a child, sexual assaults as a teen, and further domestic violence, I rebelled, and angrily, I turned away from It - away from my higher energy source that lovingly wanted to guide me.

I do not deny that unawake people experience miracles or divine interventions that literally shock them into enlightenment. I recently read a horrific story about Isira who lives in Australia. She first awakened while she was being raped. During the time she experienced being raped, beaten, and almost murdered she emanated pure love and compassion which, she believes, caused an awakening in her abuser, who was moved to stop the brutality. This saved her life. At the age of 18, Isira vowed to dedicate her life to the awakening of humanity. She is now an awakened spiritual teacher. Such an amazing story!

Anyway, I started practicing meditation in 2006 and the practice has supported me in many life’s decisions. Here is one example. I received a breast augmentation in September 2005. It was a low period in my life, and I didn’t yet start my healing journey. You can read about my healing journey in my first published book, Healing Worthlessness: Coming into Self-Love as aTrauma Survivor.

I ended up getting really sick in mid 2009. That was about 4 years after the breast implants. I had this nagging sore throat, swollen lymph nodes in my neck, armpits, and groin, a persistent mild fever, some sweating, and persistent fatigue. These symptoms came on gradually over the course of several months and progressively got worse over time. My youngest son was heading to Toronto to attend U of T at the time. As the symptoms got worse, I remember a time when I had to stop my vehicle on the side of the road to rest or have a brief nap because I’d experience overwhelming feelings of weakness and fatigue, and I was actually afraid that I was going to fall asleep at the wheel while driving. It’s not like I had to drive far to get to the grocery store when I lived in the city of West Van. My body also started to feel like cement and my movements became slow. I was an active person, exercising at the gym daily before driving the kids to school, jogging, and kayaking, and then wham, this happened.

I went from one doctor to the next trying to find out what I had, but none of them could find anything wrong with me. They considered that it could be Lyme’s disease, but it didn’t fit the symptoms and they couldn’t find the bullseye. One doctor finally diagnosed me with chronic fatigue syndrome even though he was very skeptical about saying it. How do I know that? Because he said so. I asked him about the implants suggesting that perhaps it was this that was causing the symptoms, but he was adamant that my symptoms had absolutely nothing to do with the implants! He wasn’t the only doctor that said this. So, I didn’t do anything.

Another few months had passed. I continued on my path of trying many different alternative therapies, such as acupuncture, colon therapy, and homeopathy. I even joined a yoga teacher training program thinking that this just may get me into a state of balance or homeostasis, but nothing seemed to help.

Anyway, one afternoon when I finished my meditation practice at home, I leapt out of bed and said to myself, “It’s the implants.” I was absolutely certain it was the implants. I shared this with some friends of mine, and they asked me how I knew? I said, I just knew. I then got on the internet and started researching the topic, and within two weeks after the revelation, which was on October 2011 (6 years later after getting the implants), I had them removed. The cost was almost the same price to get them out as it was to put them in, but it was the best decision I ever made. Like I said, I did my research, and I asked the plastic surgeon to make sure he removed all the calcifications even if he had to take out healthy tissue causing disfigurement. I am happy to say, he did. When I was weight training and lost a significant amount of weight and my body mass index was extremely low, back in 2018-19, I could see the divots in the middle and lower chest area. You can’t see them now with the fat tissue.

After the surgery, I started to heal almost immediately. Within 2 to 3 weeks, I noticed things were changing, although very slowly. I felt, somehow, lighter. That cement feeling was starting to subside, and I could actually walk a bit faster. My strength started to return. I still recall doing some weeding in the yard of our new home on the Island (Vancouver Island). It was a lovely 3-acre lot. I recall pulling on some large brambles trying to get rid of it’s hold in the soil, and I started to shed tears. They were tears of joy. I said to my husband, at the time, that I couldn’t do this just 4 months ago. Each day and each week, I continued to get better – my energy level increasing little by little…. Overall, it took some time – about 18-24 months before I could say that I felt “almost normal”. The trouble I currently have, is that when I get overly stressed or put in too many hours at work, I start feeling that lethargy and some mild symptoms come back. But then, who doesn’t feel fatigued with too much stress! I couldn’t image where I would be with my health and life if I listened to the physicians and didn’t remove the breast implants, because back in 2011, I literally felt like I was dying! The divinemessage through meditation saved my life.

Of course, we will never know for certain if my symptoms were caused by the implants because I wasn’t a case study researched in a controlled environment. However, in 2019, a report came out stating that the biocell textured silicone breast implants made by Allergan were pulled from sale in Canada due to the risk of a type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma among patients with macro-textured breast implants. This report came out eight years after I removed my breast implants. I was one of the lucky ones. Other women shared their stories, and they were incapacitated by severe symptoms. Who knew meditation could show me the way and cause a miracle such as this!

It's amazing what meditation can do for you – not only to understand yourself but the world around you. What messages will you follow through on when you hear the voice. If you are in midlife, it is time to awaken through meditation. Don’t wait. I encourage you to start, no matter how short the practice is in the beginning to gain a greater understanding of yourself and the world around you. Trust that you will receive miracles. They happen.