Dating FAIL

I think, Therefore I am awesome. -30-m4w

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 20:46:00 +0000

Editor's Note: This is a real ad in its entirety complete with its original MS Paint images. (No photoshop love from us).

Scientists do it on the table...Periodically

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 08:45:00 +0000

Man who is still fairly certain one day he is going to go into outer space. m4w (London)

I always wanted to be an astronaut but thought it safer to be an astrophysicist. Then I swapped that for being an atomic physicist because I ticked the box that said mad on the form where I chose what sort of scientist to be, so I had to have a lab. At the moment I don't have a hunch back assistant and tend to sing rather than laugh maniacally in the lab.

If its any consolation, I do blow things up fairly regularly and enjoy the odd electric shock.

As dreams go, if the outer space thing doesn't work out, I'd love to open a little bar (I'd call it h). I sometimes invent cocktails for h, the most recent is the "beer hugging muso" which is a pint of Guinness served in a glass.
This would also give me a venue and a captive audience to inflict my singing upon. I've been saying for years I really want to start playing some open mic nights but never do because I'm a bit shy when it comes to my 'creative' side. That and I never get round to finishing songs. I imagine it located in the old Mole Jazz place near Kings Cross (I'm keeping the mole sign though).

I'm trying to find a new and interesting hobby at the moment, so far I've got a flask of weak lemon drink but no ideas. A friend tried to get me to go swing dancing, but I'm not sure I'm trendy enough or have enough control over my limbs. I'm trying to visit more museums and contemplating baking my own bread but I'm not sure they count.

Blobfish Appeal

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Blobfish aka an unhappy, drooling version of 'Ziggy'.

MAN SEEKING WOMAN w/BLOBFISH - 45 (Outside Sydney)
Hello,

This may sound like an odd request, but I am looking for ...a blobfish. I find them to be the most saddening yet erotic of all of the great creatures roaming the seas. I am looking for a woman (possibly a marine biologist *hint hint*) who isn't afraid to know the blobfish in a biblical sense.

Don't worry about this being a bestiality thing, I just get highly aroused when I see a picture of a blobfish, and would very much so like to get that sense of ultimate pleasure from a real blobfish, sitting near me as I continue my loving.

This will need to be a real and true relationship, as you just can't take away something so majestic. I'm sure that, with the help of the blobfish, our love will flourish and become a beautiful romance of the deepest nature. (get it? because the blobfish is found in the deepest oceans.)

Hopefully my dream woman with my dream blobfish is out there, searching for me.

Related: Ick-thyology

Axis of Evil Dinner Party

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:20:00 +0000

Come with me to an Evil Dinner: Slave - 44 m4w (SF)
The perfect encounter will be this:
Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!)

Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings)
Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself! After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.

We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.
Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley. Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.
If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!

Hails to the Evil One!!

If you would like to respond please use the safe word BEBO so I know your not the Heavenly spam Goddess.

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:23:00 +0000

Cheatah Repeater

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 07:11:00 +0000

NYMPHO needs a Shopping Partner/Man -Whore - 43 (NOLA)
Do not bother me if you do not send phone # all this email crud is whack- also if you are fat , poor , moronic -move on !!! Cannot go out w / alcoholics.

Also you must be OVER 36 -long and lean and smell really good ---make me bounce against you a little and tingle -- or rub my ???

Boyfriend is very understanding - I am currently in treatment for sex addiction.

Can you relate ? wanna chat ? really do need 2 shop for a desk and headboard - u must have a truck -

Archduke of Doucheberg

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 06:33:00 +0000

I Will Treat You Like Shit-24-m4w (San Francisco)
Let me get this out of the way: I have visible tattoos, I'm told that I'm pretty cute, I'm well over six foot, I'm about 190 pounds, and I work out consistently. Ladies, you may be wondering at this point why someone like me wouldn't be out on a date right now. I think I have found the problem, and that is while I may be good looking, tall, toned, and an all around good guy, there are a few "flaws" in my character: I'm simply too nice, too educated, and I read too many fancy books.

Sometimes I regret that my parents instilled in me the urge to read voraciously and to pursue a career in law. I wish they had simply been dead beats living at the beach and surfed instead of working hard, then maybe I could use words like Bro and Fo Sho, I could have a faux hawk, killer abs, and act like an all round douche. Because at least then I could be a complete man whore and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

So this is my proposition: my usual habits, like opening and closing the door for you, pulling out your chair, complimenting your hair and meaning it, and just having all around respect for you - it's out the door.
I'll chase other girls, show up late, disrespect your parents and friends. I'll criticize every touchy girl issue (like weight) right to your face. I'll get a fake tan, a tribal tattoo, and a lifted truck. I'll party with my friends and spend money on alcohol instead of taking you out for a picnic in Golden Gate Park or getting frozen yogurt. I'll pop my shirt off more then Dennis from IASIP. I will only call you drunk at one in the morning for sex, and then not be able to get it up once you’re here because I'm too wasted.

So in short: I will act like a douche. I'll be the Archduke of Douche-berg. I will treat you like shit, you will put up with it, and tell your friends that there is "just something about him, he isn't always like that". In turn I get laid tonight and unlimited sex in the future at my time of choice until you find a nice guy like the former me who will actually appreciate you for the beautiful and unique woman you are, if your even that lucky.

In keeping with the aforementioned douche policy, fatties, uggos, and women who have any respect for themselves need not apply.

"We Are Douchebags" NSFW Audio

Related: Are You a Douchebag?

Deal Breaker

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Fri, 28 May 2010 07:05:00 +0000

I don't Like You Already - 25 m4w (NYC)
A huge cup of coffee, a fully-charged battery and about an hour to kill. I'm telling you now, this is going to be long. So if you have trouble holding an attention span longer than that of say, a toddler, move on. I'll spell out all the details here instead of dating for two months and realizing we hate each other. Sound good?

Great...lets get started. If the sheer number of words on this page hasn't already driven 90% of you away, I'll see what I can do about that now:
Are you between 18-28?
Are you extremely intelligent, super-funny and ridiculously good-looking?
Are you a girl?
Really?
If you answered yes to these four questions, congratulations. Now get through the dealbreakers:
Village idiot.
Pathological liar.
Bi-polar disorder or any kind of insanity.
Anything involving unresolved daddy issues.
Leprosy.
Any diagnosed mental disorder where the recommended treatment was a small room with soft walls.
Low tolerance of dry humor or a non-existent sex drive.
Lack of motivation.
If you have dreams and you're chasing them like a rabid cougar, that's pretty damn cool.
If you sit around waiting for the Sunshine & Happiness Fairy to deliver them to your doorstep, that's not cool.
I won't even go into the you're-your-there-they're-their business. If you've made it this far, you are either:
A) smart enough to know the difference
B) really, really fucking bored.

Nothing is less attractive to me than just plain dumb. You could be the most beautiful girl ever to grace the evolutionary chain but if I can have deeper conversations with a potato, I just wont see it. On the other hand, if you look like a potato but you're exceptionally smart, we'll have the same problem. I want both. So would you. Be able to decipher sarcasm and dry humor. There will be a lot of it, and I tend to come off as an egotistical asshole at times, but I assure you, this is purely factual. Or maybe I have just the right amount of confidence.

I'm big on comprehension. People who listen instead of waiting to talk, look you in the eyes and connect with you in a conversation and are able to retain information generally are easier for me to get along with. If we were being attacked by mutant space babies and I needed to relay you the codes for the giant laser cannons to thwart the oncoming infant assault, I need you to remember it. I won't have time to repeat that shit back to you. It's 8675 by the way. If it hasn't already become blatantly obvious, I'm the poster child for attention deficit disorder. It's not even a deficit really, it's more like an "attention bouncing spastically around the room in the form of one of those super bouncy rubber balls." So, I know spacing out, trust me...but shit that matters I somehow manage to deal with.

I would actually be a little concerned if I were completely sane and normal. Have you been outside recently?

I don't want to be like these people. Normal is boring. However, I'm not going to curl up in the fetal position in a corner and scream obscenities in Turkish at you when I don't get my way. I'm also not going to lick ants off of the pavement or talk to trees. What I will do is take a completely different approach to something, push as many boundaries as possible, and generally do things that make most people say, "Look what this idiot is doing." That's my insanity. But it's the kind that wont get me 5-10 in state prison. I like danger, I like risk. Is the world really that serious? You realize none of this matters, and we're one block of iron away from disappearing faster than chocolate at a fat kid's birthday? Let me have my fun. I'll tell jokes about dead people (and yes, fat kids), make fun of tragic world events and even play "fetch the dollar" with a bum, but I'll never mail you sacrificial rooster heads...so there's that.

Call it whatever the hell you want, we all have our standards. Mine are as follows: I have always been attracted to, and attractive to, smart, creative, funny, athletic, mature, non-maniacal girls with their shit together. Crazy, I know. They have always had awesome personalities, and none of them have looked like Medusa. I'd like to continue that trend. Am I picky? Yes. Am I worth it? You bet your ass I am.

I just scrolled up. This is really long, so take your time, read it again, go throw up....whatever you need to do. I'll respond to qualified applicants tomorrow. Please don't let me go on any more dates with play-doh brains.

Priceless

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 20 May 2010 21:09:00 +0000

Do Not Make Me Feel Like This Again-w4m (Chicago)
OMG, I can't believe I'm posting in Casual Encounters. I need to feel a man's body against mine. I'm feeling adventurous. I can sit in the comfort of my own apartment, in my decidedly not sexy saggy-ass pajamas, and pick a hot young stud to come over and sex me up. Hooray for the internet let's get it on.

268 emails in the course of 24 hours. WHOA. There's the guy who asked if I can wear rainboots while we get it on (???), the guy who is old enough to be my dad and sent me a picture of himself in leather assless chaps (I double-checked to make sure I didn't post in M4M by accident after that), and the desperate 19 year-old who is a virgin but thinks I'd be "perfect" for his first time. I am re-thinking my decision not to go to the bars this weekend. No no, I must be strong, keep the faith. I feel that dick is not far away, I must persist.

I pick you. You look relatively normal. Your email was funny, not too long, not generic. I toss my fate into the wind and see where it will take me.

We exchange pictures. I wonder if that picture of your dick was taken at that angle to make it look bigger? Hmm. Yeah, that picture of me? Well, I sifted through the 200 most recent photos of me and picked the most flattering one. Heh.

We meet up. You look about 5 years older than you do in your picture. That's okay, because I weigh about 10 pounds more now than I did in that picture I sent. But hey, guess what? I'm wearing sexy lingerie. And you're a man, with a penis, I've already screened you, spent two days trading witty emails back and forth with you, and goddammit, I'm gonna fuck you. That's just how it is. I'm too horny to go back now.

After a couple of drinks, it's clear that it's time to do something next. Because it's not polite to tell someone you want their dick inside of you as soon as possible, when you suggest we head to dinner, I agree.

This feels like a date. I didn't want a date. I want sex.

Okay, pseudo-date continues. Fine. I still want your dick in me, as soon as possible.

We head back to my place. FINALLY. We make out for a little bit. Did you forget to shave this morning? That "soul patch" you have? First of all, it's really circa 1992.

Secondly, it's giving me stubble-burn. I'm going to have a stupid-ass looking soul patch stubble burn mark tomorrow. Fuck. I keep kissing you because like I said, I want your dick inside of me as soon as possible.

Ha ha, you're wearing "Vote for Pedro" boxers. I forgive you for the soul patch. Actually, I think "Pedro" might be voting for me right now :)

Okay, this isn't going so bad. You ask if I want some oral.

UH, HELLO? WTF are you asking that for? Did I or did I not post in casual encounters? No actually, I don't like orgasms. Tongues should only be used for useful things, like ice cream and tying knots in cherry stems.

Oh crap. Now I understand why you asked. You have NO IDEA what you are doing. You plunge in face first, like my special lady bits are a snorkling mask, and if you don't get as much of your face in there as possible you just might die of hypoxia. Now, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, I will need my vagina back in good working order later. Thank you. That's enough.

You slip on a condom, and start the old "hump and grunt." You hump. You grunt. I'm not sure, but my bed might have just become a time machine, and I think we're back in 1998, because this is how boys fucked in high school. How old are you again?

I start thinking about going to the store tomorrow. I think I'm out of cereal. Should I get some more of those pasta things? Maybe I'll try the pesto kind this time.

The hump and grunt continues.

What? You're about to cum? That's nice. Thanks for letting me know. Go right ahead. I'm glad at least you had fun.

You pass out afterwards, and start to snore. I lie there, thinking. I'm totaling up my investment on this little CE situation we have going here:

box of condoms, the good kind: $13
sexy new sweater that I wore: $39
cost of the load of laundry that I will do tomorrow, after your hairy ass gets out of my bed: $3.50
... and, the non-monetary yet incredibly important contribution of my time, which could have been better spent, oh, I don't know, washing my hair or prepping my tax return: roughly 7 hours (three hours of email + four hours of pseudo date + bad sex)

.....Learning why I should stop browsing casual encounters and just use my vibrator instead: PRICELESS.

Rusty Valiant

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Tue, 11 May 2010 07:24:00 +0000

Asshole with Shitty Car - 27(Los Angeles)
Come ride in my trash pile and get cold while air from my broken window blows in your face. I won't pay for anything and I'll probably ignore you most of the time. Message me quick. I'm hungry and want to go to jack in the box with someone.

You Stuck My Flash Drive in Your Vagina

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 03:00:00 +0000

Editor's Note: A number of readers sent us this little diddy about meeting a girl at a bar, hook up, and she proceeds to steal your external drive. Bonus she hides the loot in her vagina. One submitter commented, "how contrived is this? I fake orgasms and it's more real than this drivel." The good bloggers over at Gizmodo covered a real tampon shaped flash drive product available with different data flow options.

You stuck my flash drive in your vagina - m4w - 25 (philadelphia)
You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.

We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…

We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.

You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:

You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.

The flash drive pops out.

You look at it.

You squat a little bit.

You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.

I am speechless.

You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn’t work.

I am confused. I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.

Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.

Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.

As if?

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 06:42:00 +0000

cute face + huge as- m4w
that about describes it. talk to me if that's you.

Love Actuarial

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 08:45:00 +0000

Editor's Note: According to Wikipedia, actuarial science is the discipline that applies mathematical and statistical methods to assess risk in the insurance and finance industries. Does it add up in a personal? Does one get credit by showing your work? Besides whatever happened to multiple choice?

Actuarial Model - 28 w4m (Philadelphia)
I've decided after 28 years that in order to be more accurate in my dating selections…I'm switching over to an actuarial model…apparently my judgments have not served me oh so amazingly…perhaps more success will follow after putting people into the snarky equation below:

Best Date/Person Everever = [Listen to This American Life or at least don't think it's lame (+127)- and that's right I'm using this as my y-intercept] + (.096 X the # of sarcastic comments you make in a given day) + (.098 X # of indie or other music concerts attended this year)– (1.86 X # of pretentious statements- note the minus…I'm going for sarcasm and interest in music w/o pretentiousness) + (.096 X # art museums/galleries you've been to this year or are willing to attend in a given year) + (2.80 X verbal ability- as in you can have a conversation with other people awkwardly or not and it's enjoyable) + (.07 X # of shopping trips to TJ's or Whole Foods- or tolerance for a vegetarian who likes to shop at these stores) – (230.00 X your republican love- yeah you like them and your screwed in this equation unfortunately…sorry) + (1.05 X # of idealistic however not naïve thoughts you have in a day- your sarcastic, but still have a soul…care about the world…etc.) – (1.4 X # of times you've thought "I hate the color blue") + (1.4 X bike love)

Okay think that's it…this model is a work in progress so we'll see…if your near my age that's probably better....also pictures are appreciated (I'll send one in return).....me: brown hair, green eyes, 5'5', thin/athletic (climb & run)…doctoral student....just put way too much time into writing an ad………

Flyboyant

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 09:15:00 +0000

i am fly you must be too - 36 m4w (Philadelphia)
looking for a fly lady to kiss. i am fly you must be fly and have lips.

Woman's Best Friend

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:46:00 +0000

Like a Faithful Hound-w4m 32 (London)
Like a faithful hound I will fetch your slippers and newspaper in the morning and follow you for walks on beaches on brisk autumn mornings. Of course, if I bite a small child I will have to be injected with sodium pentobarbital and destroyed. But let’s just accentuate the positive for now. Slippers. Newspaper. Beaches.

Video: The Other Team

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 08:40:00 +0000

Online Dating
Ever wish there was a way to see how guys really meet women on the internet? Dan goes under-cover to find out.

Online Dating - watch more funny videos

Dumb Smart Cute Fail

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 08:02:00 +0000

Editor's Note: This Jersey born phd candidate is "spontanious" and fun but not "concieded" about her qualities. She is looking for "caucasians" that are near her age and males that can console her loss of Easter goodies. Please help her make the holiday a little sweeter. Spelling and grammar are optional.

I got shafted by the easter bunny :( - 27 w4m-Philadelphia
I woke up this morning and headed downstairs and expected to see candy and bunnies galore. to my dismay i got NOTHING. not even one jelly bean. the easter bunny shafted me! so i think i deserve something sweet today in my in-box since i didnt get anything sweet in my easter basket!

about me? I am a jersey girl who move to philly a few months ago from los angeles to start her doctorate. im spontanious, outgoing, and fun (yes i could go on and sound concieded about how wonderful i am LOL). Im very grounded and driven in life. .

Im looking for a guy who has his shit together, who has a job, and is stable, and who is also looking for a long-term relationship not just a smooch and shag (yes i said shag, it sounded good with smooch?). im attracted to mostly caucasians and people near my age, give or take some years, and im waiting for YOU to email me and make my day a little sweeter on this bitter easter.

Send a pic and ill return the favor, i like to see who im talking to.

**Note: A short movie asks the question: "Do you know what the Easter Bunny is doing the other 364 days of the year?" Check out "The Easter Bunny Hates You".

Related: Bunny Basher

Oh the places you could go

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 07:50:00 +0000

I Want a Chick Who puts up with my Shit and Puts Out - 24
yeh so im white...24 years young and pretty damn handsome if i dont say so ive been told so. i like doing stuff outdoors, like maybe a frisbee game or riding a bike. i love watching movies and eating popcorn. um just send me a picture and ill shoot one back and will email. no fat chicks. couch.

Latino Male Looking for Something Sexy - 27 m4w (Philadelphia)
27 latino from vineland im 6ft 180lb. looking for something sweet and sexy to hang out with. i drink and smoke so im looking for a female that can really have some fun. i love going to stripper clubs, malls, traveling, shopping. just looking for something open minded.

Double Mint

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 07:13:00 +0000

Editor's Note: Attention single ladies in the DC area! The below ad is offering 2 for 1 dumbasses for your dating pleasure or disaster. These "twin brothers from different mothers" are offering you a double date with your choice: "DC area bad boy with money to spare" (pictured holding the cat and possibly stoned at his mind) or Pavel a man with the flair for the finer things in life and rocking a turtle neck. Who wouldn't want two men that hold down a (single) part time job, live in a shit hole apartment and own 1/2 a car. We are willing to bet they even share a bed. Ehew....

Twin brothers from different mothers looking for lovers - 23(DC)
Hey, I'm Pavel (26) and this is me and my brother Samson (21). Yes thats right, when you respond to this message you can get your choice of the charming, educated "Lass with Class" or the DC area badboy with money to spare. I'd like to say that I look forward to meeting some intelligent and wonderful women of substance, but Samson would like me to tell you that he hopes your hot and wants you to send him naked photos. I'd say that between the both of us we probably have a part-time job, a shit hole apartment and at least half of a car. I'm HIV negative and Samson probably is.

Here is some more about us:

Pavel: I'm college educated and very book smart. My ideal woman is educated and classy with a flare for gourmet cooking and hopefully an interest in architecture. I'd say an ideal date would be you and I meet up at a local coffee shop and get to know each other a bit. Afterwards we would head over to DC and spend the evening browsing some of the art museums. After a great evening of fine art and conversation in DC, I'd stop by the local grocery store and pick up some groceries, take you to my apartment and cook you a wonderful dinner. Finish up with a great architectural documentary and a glass of red wine. If this sounds like something that you would enjoy then you and I need to meet.

Samson: Finally I get to say some shit! I just wanna say that I got money comin outta everywhere. Its in my shirt my pants my hat and in my bathtub. Im ready to get drunk and party with some hot ass girls. When Im not partying I'm straight making beats and working on my next rap album. I don't have much to say yo so just show me your pic and *maybe* I'll get back at ya if I like wat i see!

*Put twin brothers as the title so we will know you are as real as we are.

Asperger Syndrome Guy Don't Call Him EMO

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 05:58:00 +0000

Editor's Note: Somebody needs a happy meal!! Asperger Syndrome Guy, a virgin, wants to share a happy meal with a special someone. His history is a bit rough: sick mother, abusive father, and he even suffered a stroke at the young age of 25. But please don't call him EMO! Final note, we chose not to include the photos because of their graphic and gross nature. Trust us, the boy look busted up.

Asperger Syndrome Guy - 25 (San Francisco)
So i figure this is my last shot at posting, I have posted here so many times but only guys reply to this and im sick of it. Anyways im 25 years old i have asperger syndrome, and im a very depressed unhappy guy ill be flat out honest with you right there.

I have many reasons for being so but one of the big ones is my mom had heart surgery a year ago and suffered a stroke and is now disabled thats one of the reasons why im very depressed. I have had asperger syndrome my whole life and suffered for it got picked on and teased my entire school years. I had an abusive father theres so much and to sum it all up basically im a 25 year old virgin who wants out and who wants a woman to be with i cant handle being in my situation anymore. Id appreciate it if someone would kind enough to help me.

Ive dealt with so much shit from people that i have just had it. Im ready to just explode in their face. Dont catagorize me as Emo just because i have asperger syndrome and am depressed. I have been in 5150 lockdowns many times and have been there for attempting suicide.

Reason for the second picture is because i drank a bottle of wild turky blacked out and broke my front tooth 2 years ago. Im tired of women ignoring me and not taking me seriously. Im tired of not getting what it is that i want. I worked hard all these years to get my way. All i ask from you woman is some mother fucking respect. And just because i have been in lockdown it does not mean you have to fear me and stereo type me as a criminal.

I think its a majority of you that create criminals, rapists, murderers, and thieves with your attitudes and mentallity you guys think you have seen it all you guys aint seen shit in life. All of you spoiled cunts and assholes that live in surburbia think that lifes about cranking up your crappy rap and hip hop music and shaking your ass in clubs. Wrong its not. Come down to the ghetto and experience real life its not about A subway sandwhich or a macdonalds happy meal grow the f@ck up....

Info Graphic on Online Dating

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 21:43:00 +0000

Via: Online Schools

Dating Via Someecards

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 18:23:00 +0000

(Click to send your own via someecards)

Cougar Confessions

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 06:59:00 +0000

Editor's Note: According to the experts at College Humor, "cougars" are the new MILF. Sorry moms, the huntresses and it is boy toys manifestations are new women empowerment dating phenomena. We suggest this whole cougar thing can be traced back to such films, The Graduate, Sunset Boulevard , American Pie, and many others. Regardless, this whole cougar thing is hot thus we are seeing it pop up as niche dating sites, like Cougared and Urban Cougar, as well as personal ads. Also, there is even an ehow article on how to use cougar dating sites. In true form, we bring you some of the better ones. Enjoy, cat, kittens, cubs, and bears, etc.

Easily Drunk, Garrulous Female-41 w4m (London)
Easily drunk, garrulous female, aged 41, prone to molesting the teenage sons of suburban dinner party hosts and crying over the petit fours. Thus, there’s usually an atmosphere of dread when I show up at a party. Not so the next one, when you accompany me as both my chap·er·one and my designated driver. I would love to meet sober expert in public apologies and not over 50.

Cougar Needed-20 m4w (Philadelphia)
Cougar Needed to fund the lives of a male and female. Must love batman, keystone light and blackingout.

Finally, check out Current TV's Report on the 2009 Single Cougars Convention (Slightly NSFW images and language)

Make Me Yelp

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 08:04:00 +0000

Editor's Note: Love or hate yelp, it is the "it" site for local business reviews. Remember Yelp's tagline is "Real People, Real Reviews"? On yelp, everyone is a critic. The reviews can be inaccurate and many emphasize telling a story rather stating the facts. Also, its business model exploits a false sense of community for big bucks. . So using yelp system to get dates--4 star idea or just lame? Also, how does one explain the lack of negative comments? (just for the record, please feel free to yelp our site!)

I Gets Great Reviews on YELP! - 39(SF)
See for yourself...

Excerpts:

"He could always make me laugh, and he was kind of a neat freak. His apartment was surprisingly well decorated for a guy. I also never saw him drink any liquor or do any drugs. We broke up because I moved to Fremont and he thought that was akin to a long distance relationship." -Krisztina

"His motorcycle only seats one and I thought that was selfish. He suggested I buy my own bike if I wanted to go for a ride and I thought that was a bit patronizing. I stopped seeing him shortly there-after. He was pretty creative in bed tho'"-Tonya

"I meet him volunteering at the Food-Bank. He was driving a forklift and had made a cardboard sign that said 'Driver carries less than $20 change'. He also lifted a pretty heavy box with what seemed like great ease. He admitted later over pizza that he was hoping I was watching. It bothered me the amount of women he'd slept with but he was always nice to me. He didn't care if he made a fool of himself as long as he got me to laugh. He wasn't interested in marriage or kids and I was. I still see him from time to time around the city. He looks exactly like he did six years ago." -Laurel

"He fixed my leaky bathroom faucet which I really appreciated" -Meghan

"He was cool with me having HSV as long as I was honest with him and kept him safe. That was a big deal because other guys treated me like a leper when they found out. He also loved that I had a smaller chest. He'd make me laugh so hard I'd snort. I didn't like the fact that he'd completely ignore the homeless people we'd pass on the street or that he'd refer to them as 'bums'. Great in bed." -Celina

"I only dated him for about a month and we never slept together. He was a good dancer and we liked the same types of music. He had me over for dinner and I was impressed that his bathroom was neat and clean. He attempted to teach me how to play guitar but things kinda just fizzled out" -Natascha

"A big, responsible, kid. He never took anything to seriously, and didn't really let anything bother him. He was a bit of a prankster and wanted to get me involved in a 'caper'. Funny as hell and a great kisser." -Cynthia

"He has a great personality and is very engaging. From what I could tell, he only dated tall, slender brunettes. He's pretty private and doesn't give up much right off. He'll charm your pants right off you if you're not careful but deep down he's a great guy. More tattoos than I prefer." -Jennifer

"I had a lot of fun while I dated him." -Kriste

Hump Day Freedom

noreply@blogger.com (So-lo) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:01:00 +0000

“On I January, my husband informed me that he would be spending every Wednesday with his mistress.” A fantastic personal ad from The London Review of Books. She may have my favorite reason ever for not getting a divorce. (source via buzzfeed)Ad reads:

On January 1st, my husband informed me that he would now be spending every Wednesday with his mistress. Impossibility of disentangling our library means that separation is not an option. Writer with senior railcard, still beautiful, seeks diversions. East Anglia/London but willing to travel further for entertaining activities.