Its Your Life

State of Human Affairs

2010-06-30T22:16:00.000+05:30

Gracing the front page of Indian newspapers, these days, is a sad story of the suicide (read more) of former Miss Mauritius and top supermodel from India. Apparently she committed suicide as she was severely depressed. She joins the list of high profile and apparently 'popular' people who have chosen to end their lives in the recent years.

Makes me wonder what are we doing as fellow human beings? I am sure she must have had countless, so called, friends and buddies. Being a former beauty queen would have guaranteed easy attention in life. Then why are we humans prone to depression and loneliness even though we are surrounded by people? Is the individual to be blamed or are the real culprit the 'friends'?

Its easy to imagine why an individual can be lonely, can feel alienated or depressed even though they might have countless friends and even be very popular. The fact lies that its not the quantity of friends or family you have, but rather the quality of the relations that ultimately matter. One good friend or family can mean more than a hundred or even a thousand 'friends', friends who only care to be with you when you are happy or rich. In our race to success, we often forget to nurture the most important relations in our lives. These relations ultimately make us feel loved, secure and provide us with light in times of utter darkness.

Whats even more saddening to note is that we as friends often overlook or even neglect a human in need, even though we know that we should have gone and lent a helping hand. Sometimes just having someone who can hear you out makes a world of difference. I am sure the friends of this former model must have noticed that something is amiss, but did nothing. Why did they not do something sooner? Why did they let this happen to someone they knew? Is this why we are on this planet? To neglect fellow humans, even when we know we can help? Since when has making someone happy or lifting their sorrows become a bad thing?

Why do we not treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves? Old saying but how many of us actually follow it in our daily lives? When was the last time you sincerely tried to help someone, even though you did not know them very well but knew they needed help? Why are we so wrapped up in our own problems, in our own life that we fail to notice the life of the people around us?

Humans are social in nature. They cannot exist alone. No problem should become so great that it should lead anyone to suicide. Often it just takes a kind and caring human soul to fix someones life.

Be that soul.

Corruption of the Human Mind

2010-06-16T12:12:00.000+05:30

The human mind is perhaps the most powerful force we have in our possession. We have not even grasped 5% of its potential. Yet see the advances we have made in the recent century! If this is possible with 5% of our brains, imagine what we can do with 20 or 50%? Seems mind boggling!

Equally mind boggling is the way in which we treat our own mind. Have you ever stopped to consider the kind of thoughts you think or more importantly, the kind of thoughts you 'allow' yourself to think? Have you ever consciously taken control over what enters and what leaves your mind?

The mind is like a muscle. Train it well and it will grow strong and become very powerful. Neglect it or abuse it and it will grow weak and timid. Like all experienced body builders will tell you, the quality of training is more important than the quantity of training, so is it with the human mind. Feed it well and it will foster and grow. Abuse it and it will falter and grow weak.

Are you the kind of person who allows your mind to think or behave however it wants? Does your mind get influenced easily by your surroundings, your environment or the people around you? Is your mind easily attracted to negative and cheap thoughts, no matter whether they are targeted to others or to yourself? If yes, then its time you start taking better care of your mind.

Imagine this, you are driving your car and have to stop at a traffic signal. Your windows are rolled down and you are enjoying the breeze. Just then someone walks up and raises his bag of trash, with the intention of dumping it in your car through the window. What would you do? Would you allow him to do it or would you just sit by and then curse him once he is done? I bet you would stop him before he can dump his junk in your car! If that's true, then why not with your own mind? Is that not your most prized and trusted asset?

Why do you allow anyone to walk up to you and fill your mind with utter rubbish? Why don't we stop such corruptions in their tracks, much before they can even enter our minds? Why do we allow continuously allow people, situations, our environment and at many times even ourselves to corrupt our mind?

Next time you catch yourself corrupting your mind, check yourself. Get rid of the rubbish immediately and make sure it never enters again. One weed can soon overwhelm your beautiful garden, if not removed immediately. Before you know it, it will dominate your mind and your life in ways you would never have imagined or would want to.

Fill your mind with positive and growing thoughts. Nurture it with thoughts of progress in all aspects of your life. Learn to control your mind and not let your mind control you.

Think beautiful, live beautiful.

Circle of Life

2010-05-28T22:10:00.000+05:30

I was travelling by local train in Mumbai today, insignificant amidst the magnitude of the crowds which throng these trains daily. You have to experience this first hand to really understand what I am talking about! Gazing at the faces of my fellow travellers, a thought struck me. Here we were, jam packed together like sardines in a can. Each one of the faces before me has a story to tell, a life gone past and a future dream in their heart. The faces might seem different, the people diverse and the unfamiliarity of each, distinct. Yet there exists a unity which is shared by each one of these travellers, in fact with each human on our planet.

Even though we seem so different to each other, we all have share the same basic flow of life. We share the same day, live similar lives and hold similar thoughts and dreams within us. You might be wondering how can a beggar live a similar life to that of a millionaire? I am not talking about the quality of life, rather the essence or nature of human existence and life per se. Does not the beggar share the same 'life' as the millionaire? Don't they both think similar thoughts and share similar dreams. When they die, don't both want to be remembered and surrounded by loved ones? Do both not think of being happy? Yes, the magnitudes might vary, the creature comforts enormously different, yet in essence they both have a lot in common. That's what's called being human and living a life on this planet of ours.

We are each connected with our parents, our spouse our children, our friends and family. This comprises our own personal 'circle'. This gives us a secure sense of belonging in this world. Yet, is this 'circle' not shared by everyone? Each of the faces before me have their own circles which are so distinct, yet so similar in nature. The relation of parents, children, family, friends and foe are shared by each human being, irrespective of who they are or what their religion or country. For example take two individual yet very different sets of parents. No matter how different they might be, seeing their children excel in something or happy is sure to make each parent proud. This unites us in ways in which we can never imagine. This is the bond which will always bind us as humans.

Every face shares a past, a present and a future. Each of us share failures, happiness, joy, ecstasies, sorrow, defeat, success in their own way. Distinct yet absolutely similar in essence. If you are a father, you have hopes of raising happy, content and successful children. You dream of providing with everything you had and more importantly, did not have when you were a child. You go to work to provide a good living for yourself and your family. We all come back home to the same relations, which are common to all.

Each one of us has a desire to be happy, to be content and to be able to sleep in peace. We all strive to be financially sound so that we can take care of our self and our family. We have our passions, our desires and our dreams. So distinct yet so similar again.

The little joys of life, makes each one of us more happy than winning a lottery. These little moments are the moments we treasure in our hearts forever. I still remember the moment, when I first laid eyes on my newborn son. That moment is permanently etched in my heart and probably the happiest moment of my life. Its these moments which unite us.

Next time you are amidst a group of people, look around and try to see beneath the exterior. You'll be amazed by what you see and feel a sense of oneness which cannot be explained.

Oneness with the ultimate source of all energy and life on our planet.

Humans

2010-04-21T17:05:00.003+05:30

Why are we humans on this planet? Why were we chosen to be humans rather than animals or birds? Is there a purpose for which we have been put on Earth? Or are we just a random act of nature, being a human just because of a matter of chance?

I believe that we are born as human beings with a specific purpose. How many of you, despite working 12 hours a day or earning millions of dollars annually, are not satisfied with your life? How many of you feel there is something missing in your life, on a deeper more personal level? Yet how many of us are truly focused on finding our own path in life? How many of us are working towards becoming the best individuals that we can become?

Most of us are too focused on other people, too inquisitive about what he or she is doing or what he or she should not be doing. We distrust people forgetting that trust is a personal matter in the first place. We cannot make anyone trust us, all we can do is be someone who can be trusted. Yet, many people abuse this privilege in the name of relations, in the name of love or simply because they themselves are not trustworthy.

I have seen and heard so many people say they love someone and that person is all that matters to them in this world. These are the same people who end up taking away more in the name of their love, rather than contributing through love. These are the people who are only focused on others rather than being focused inwards and striving to find their connection with their existence on this planet. Since they cannot look inward or connect with the limitless source of nature and god, they bind to another human through the connection they term as love.

Love is meant to foster both the receiver as well as the giver. Even as parents we often love our children in the wrong way. For many parents, their children are just a source of entertainment. They will make them dance, sing and perform strange antics in front of strangers just to have a good laugh. How would you feel if you as an adult, was made to do the same thing? Would it be that hilarious then? Is this your expression of love?

"I can give my life for you". How many people have you heard say this or know people who think such thoughts? I bet one too many. These are the same people who don't value life, who don't value the gift that they have been given. That's why they can give it away so easily. That's why these statements mean so much to them. Sad part is, they expect you to reciprocate with the same shallow statements and feelings. I would rather fill a person with more reasons to be alive than hope that he or she will give their life because of me!

Strange are the ways of men and women of our planet. We place trust where it should not be placed, we doubt at those who have given us their unconditional lives, we make the same people cry who make us laugh and we blame someone for no fault of theirs. We fight with the ones we love just so that we can be at peace our self. Just because we are human.

I am sorry, to me, being a human is much beyond all this. It is a matter of connecting within and with the ultimate source of all power in this universe. Its about being happy with yourself and what you are doing. Look into the mirror, into your soul before you look at what others are doing or not doing to you.

Find your peace and path yourself. Don't blame others for who or what you are or what you think you are. Remember, its your life. Only yours and no one else's.

There is no love

2010-04-21T13:46:00.004+05:30

Does love truly exist? I mean 'true love' the way it is supposed to be? Judging from the people on this planet, I have come to believe it is merely a myth, like the lost city of Atlantis.

I was a firm believer in the power of the human mind and the power of unconditional love. Love in its truest form only knows how to give and not to demand. Love fills the world with happiness, beauty and energy. Love is supposed to bring a smile on your face, even when staring into the jowls of death. Love is like being connected with God, through a direct high speed link.

We humans are so overconfident, so full our ourselves that we fail to notice that we have turned love into a sin. A personal weapon that we use against the world and especially against the people we say we love. We no longer love, we just use it as an excuse to pump up our egos, to feel important and to show to the world that we are a caring human being. The love that we think we feel, allows us to put up a facade which shields the world from our true inner motive and self.

When we are in love, we say that we can die for that person. Seems so funny that we are willing to die for the one we love, but at the same time we mistrust them, make them cry and belittle them with our insignificant self centred thoughts and actions. All in the name of 'Love'.

The real sad part is that we have convinced ourselves that we are doing what we are because we love that person so much and its for their good. When is betrayal, mistrust, petty thoughts, tears, sadness good? When is it good to rob an individual of their peace and happiness? To steal a smile and replace it with tears?

Love is an excuse to feel important, to fill yourself with stolen energy and happiness. The next time you tell someone "I Love You" look deep within and see if you really mean it or is it just a weapon you use to gain power, to feel important and to be happy yourself. No matter what the cost to the other person or to the world. Think.

Connections

2010-03-04T17:59:00.004+05:30

5,654 Twitter followers, 945 Facebook friends, 1300 Orkut friends and so on. WOW! You sure must have an amazing personality to make so many friends!

Hold on for a second. These are all your virtual or online friends aren't they? What about your "Real Life" friends. Care to count those? Out of all the above friends, how many do you know personally or have interacted with offline? If you are like the most of us, I bet the answer would be 'not many' or 'only a few'.

Why is it that we connect so easily with people online and not in the real world? If you are making so many friends online then obviously you wish to make friends, to be heard and are looking to connect with people. You obviously have something interesting going on in your life or have a pleasing personality, which is why so many people are becoming friends with you online.

Why can't the same be extended to the real world? Why are we so guarded in making friends or accepting friendship from people out in the real world? Don't you find it very easy to express your feelings, to vent out your frustration or even divulge some secrets to online friends? Even if you haven't met them in the real world?

A typical online scenario. You are browsing through Facebook and come across an interesting comment by a friends friend or someone you don't know. If you feel the person is okay enough, you will not hesitate to send a friend request. More often than not, you will be added as a friend or at least will get a response back.

Now imagine doing the same in the real world. You are sitting at your favourite coffee shop. You see a nice person reading a book or wearing something that appeals to you. Or maybe you overhear their conversation and find it interesting. Would you simply walk up and say 'Hi'? I bet you won't.

If we can do it online, why can't we do it in the real world? Fear of being rejected? Lack of confidence in ourselves? Or is the answer the anonymity that the online world provides? In the online world, we can pretend to be whoever we want, whenever we want and to whomsoever we want. Does that play a major role? Does the security stem from the fact that we know that in the online world, we can simply switch off or block people if things turn uncomfortable?

Whatever be the reason, I feel that we are spending too much time connecting with people online and not in the real world. We need to start building real world relations and connections. I am not undermining the importance of the online world at all. In fact its a marvelous way to reach out and connect to people, to make friends and explore facets of a global world.

What we need to do is make these connections more 'real'. Get to really know your online friends, if possible visit them or organize OFM, "Online Friend Meetings'. When travelling, visit or call your online buddies. Make the virtual connections real. Give them a meaning.

Trust me, it will be well worth it and will enrichen your life.

Rise of the Status Update

2009-12-29T16:51:00.004+05:30

The growth of Twitter, Facebook, Myspace and numerous social media sites has been phenomenal. Millions of users all over the world are reconnecting with their classmates, friends, family and colleagues. They are posting comments, sharing photos and links and updating their 'status' from the web & mobile.

What drove users to flock to social media sites, to share their views and update followers with up to the minute account of their activities? Why are people all around the world getting addicted to Facebook, Twitter or Orkut? These people are from diverse backgrounds, races, nationalities, education and social upbringing. Yet they are all flocking to social media sites. They are updating their 'status' with up to the minute report of their activities.

I believe it all comes down to the inner need for people to be recognised, to be heard and for the longing for the 'one minute of fame'. Human beings are social in nature. From the ancient times, we have lived in groups and had a social connection with other humans. We all like to be heard, for our views to be respected and to be 'liked' by others. We love to share our feelings and to connect with other people.

The rise of the status update is an example. Do people really care if you are eating a fat free ice cream while watching Avatar in 3d, at the premiere show? Do we really need to know where you are at this minute and how bad the traffic was?

Yet, we continue updating our status with up to the minute information. We all want to be heard. It feels nice to express our feelings, our views and our life updates. We all hope that others will be reading and commenting on our actions. We all have a voyeuristic tendency within us.

Status updates gives us our instant 'one minute of fame'. We love it when users comment on our witty status update or tell us how happy they are for us. We love to feel connected and that we are socially liked in this world.

After all, no man is an island.

Defeat the Evil Within

2009-10-19T19:13:00.003+05:30

In India, we celebrate a festival called Diwali around this time, every year. (More...)

It Hinduism, it marks the return of King Ram to Ayodhya, after defeating the evil King Ravana. It also commemorates the killing of the evil Narakasura, by Krishna's wife Satyabhama. In Jainism it marks the attainment of 'moksa' of Lord Mahavira. In Sikhism it marks the release from prison of the sixth guru, Guru Hargobind Ji and 52 other princes with him. It also marks the martyrdom of the elderly Sikh scholar Bhai Mani Singh.

It ultimately signifies the triumph of good over evil, the banishment of everything vile in nature and the attainment of freedom and good everywhere.

We all have demons within us. On Diwali we wish everyone 'Happy Diwali' and indulge in revelry and exchanging/eating sweets. We clean and decorate our houses, paint and light colourful diyas and bursting fire crackers.

Do we take the time to look within us, to defeat and banish the evils lurking within? Throughout the year, situations & people fill us with negative thoughts and actions. Knowingly or unknowingly we all have negative and evil thoughts which diminish our presence on this planet, as human beings. Let us take this time of the year to finally get rid of the evils within each one of us. Let us sweep the filth away and emerge with a brighter and more beautiful soul.

Let our souls shine like the diyas we light.

Happy Diwali to one and all!

Colours of Life

2009-09-30T10:23:00.004+05:30

God has filled our world with a fascinating blend of colours. Just take a look around you and you will see what I mean. Nature, in particular, is so beautifully infused with colours that it takes ones breath away. The harmony and blend of colours is to be marvelled in every creation of God. From this never ending spectrum of colours, which colours would be called as the "Colours of Life"? Go on take a guess.

Too many to choose? Here they are:

Red
Green
Black
Yellow
White

How did I arrive at these colours? Just take a look around, at every human being on this planet. You will find these colours within each and every one of us.

RED: Blood

GREEN: Veins

BLACK: Hair, Eye(Pupil)

YELLOW: Bile in stomach

WHITE: Bones

These colours define our bodies and are present in most of the living organisms on this planet. These colours were also first recognised in ancient Jain (India) mythology and worship. These colours also form the basis of the ancient chinese practice of Feng Shui. (Link)

Recharge Yourself

2009-07-28T21:50:00.003+05:30

You must have noticed that I have not blogged for quite some time. The reason? I wanted to recharge myself. Recharge my life, my thoughts and my being.

We are so wrapped up in our daily lives that we forget to charge ourselves. This fast paced competitive lifestyle continuously drains us of our energy force. Ever wondered why you feel so physically and mentally drained at the end of the day?

Think of yourself as a rechargeable battery. You need to charge yourself up, when you are running low. Take some time out, indulge in your hobbies, pick up a new skill, explore the natural world or just play with young children.

Energize yourself to give your best output.

Do Not Try

2009-05-14T13:35:00.004+05:30

Throughout our life we are told to try. You will never know until you try. Try and great things can happen to you. So on and on.

Is it really the trying that gets results? I will try to be more patient, I will try to stay on my diet, I will try to work harder, I will try to wake up earlier, I will try to give up smoking. How many of these have you tried and gained success?

The Company, Nike, said it best when they used the slogan 'Just Do It'. Do not try, just do it. Either you do or you don't do. Its as simple as that. There is no trying. There is no mid way.

Either you plunge head on or don't take the leap at all.

When you set your mind and spirit on doing, there is no looking back. All the forces of the universe back you when you set your mind on doing. More often that not, you will achieve what you set out to do. Success or failure in the task is another thing. That depends on your skill and hard work.

But you will ultimately be able to do what you set out to do. That is guaranteed. Trying gives no guarantee. Trying is a way of saying to yourself that you do not believe. Its like saying to yourself 'Gosh, I don't know, maybe I will, may I won't. Lets see what happens'.

Either do it or don't do it. Don't pretend to try.

Cookbook for Life

2009-05-04T12:26:00.004+05:30

Don't we all wish we had a 'Cookbook for Life'? One that would contain recipes for all our problems, for all the situations and challenges in our life.

Detailed recipes to create a mouth watering life! Wow!

Armed with such a book, we will never have to make mistakes, never have to experiment and never have to deal with failure. Whenever we face a situation, we whip out our 'Cookbook for Life', search through the index and go to the corresponding page. We simply follow the instructions and voila, instant solutions and success.

Guaranteed satisfaction. Each recipe has been tried and tested.

Would that really be great? Is that what life is all about?

Your individual experiences make up your life. That's what defines you and makes you unique. It makes your life, 'your' life.

If we knew exactly what to do each time, wouldn't life be monotonous? What would we learn and how would we grow as individuals? Yes, I agree that initially it will feel great to know how to deal with anything. However, I assure you, sooner or later extreme boredom will set in. There will nothing left to experience in our life. How would that feel?

Our mistakes, successes, failures and experiences make our life exciting. It makes us use our mind and explore its potential. We are born on Earth to grow as individuals, to realise the best within us.

Make the journey of life your own and cherish every moment. You do not want instant solutions, you want life experiences.

Experiences which one day, you can tell your grandchildren when putting them to sleep.

Beliefs vs Knowledge

2009-04-23T11:17:00.005+05:30

We all have beliefs in our lives. These have been handed down to us through our parents, friends and social environment. Some of them we form on our own. We base our existence on these beliefs and we assume everything which we have been told to believe is true.

Are beliefs good for us or do they restrict us? Why does someone believe in something and another person does not? Yet they both fare equally well in life? You may believe its bad luck to walk under a ladder yet someone else might ridicule the notion. Who is right?

That's when the power of knowledge comes in. We have beliefs built into us from birth. Whether we accept them or not is up to us. However blindly accepting a belief is stupidity. Just because someone else believes something does not make it true. Beliefs are uncertain whereas knowledge is certain. Once you have the knowledge of something, you simply know its true. You cannot question it's existence or power.

You want to know why that belief is there in the first place and whether the belief is doing you good or restricting you. Get rid of your debilitating beliefs by placing knowledge behind them. Know them for a fact.

Do not let beliefs restrict you. Instead turn these beliefs into knowledge and the power behind the knowledge will make miracles happen. Plato defined knowledge as "Warranted True Belief". You do not want false beliefs binding you down.

In business for example, you might have the belief that a potential customer will not give you the order for whatever reasons. That might prevent you from approaching the customer in the first place. Your belief will restrict you. You will not know until you approach, ask and discuss with the customer. Who knows, he might say 'Yes'? Even if he says 'No' you now know your belief to be true. Until you ascertain the truth, is it prudent to keep on believing?

Believe in yourself and know that that belief is certain.

Facing the Wrong Way

2009-04-11T13:52:00.005+05:30

You have a greatness in you. The doorway to higher awareness opens inwards.

Most of us spend a good portion of our lives looking the wrong way. We look outside ourselves to find solutions for our problems. Whereas inward, is where the answers lie. All problems can be solved and any challenge can be met by looking within because that's where the solutions lie.

Spend some time in solitude. There is great strength in silence. That's when you can get in touch with the higher force. The force that will help you solve problems, to achieve goals and to gain success.

Looking outward will only distract you and will cause you to blame situations or people for your life. You will feel out of control because you will be placing yourself in another persons hand. No one can live your life for you. You have to live your own life.

Stop facing the wrong way. Look within and you will find bliss that you have never known before.

The Truth about Six Pack Abs - Part II

2009-04-09T15:16:00.006+05:30

Okay, now that you have finally decided that you want six packs in 6 months, the first step is to define your goal. As mentioned in Part I of the series, six pack abs basically means getting your body fat down to 10% or lower.

So the first step is finding out your current body fat percentage. There are a number of ways to do this but to get an easy but approximate idea try the following:

Calculate Body Fat Percentage

Now suppose your body fat percentage works out to be 25%. That simply means you need to lose 15% of your body fat. Lets do the math.

Suppose you weigh 70 kilos. At 25% body fat you have 17.50 kilos of fat. That's 52.50 kilos of lean body mass.

Our goal is 10% body fat which translates into 7 kilos of fat (70 kilos into 10%). You have a lean body mass of 52.50 kilos. Add to this the 10% body fat of 7 kilos and your target weight will be 59.50 kilos.

So your target weight is 59.50 kilos and you need to lose 10.5 kilos.

IMPORTANT: Please note that woman have a higher body fat percentage than men. Women naturally have 10-15% higher body fat than men! If you are a woman, to get six pack abs please add this 10-15 percent. A woman with 10% body fat will be very unhealthy and prone to illness.

Ideal body fat percentage chart for men and woman

Please use the above link to find out acceptable values.

Now that you have defined your target and you know how much weight you have to lose, be mentally prepared for the transformation. You will require a combination of cardiovascular and weight training to achieve the goal, in a healthy way.

More of that in the next part of the series.

Majoring in Minor Things

2009-04-08T11:14:00.005+05:30

"Most people fail in life because they major over minor things" - Anthony Robbins

Couldn't have been truer! We spend way too much time fretting over the unnecessary. We receive an ambiguous email, we spend hours wondering what it means. Our dinner is not cooked properly, we get nasty and stay that way till the next morning. We get upset and crib over other peoples bad habits. A friend doesn't call as promised, we wonder what he or she is upto.

The list is endless.

Do you have any idea how much energy you waste on minor issues? If you would have channelled that same energy on the things which really matter, miracles would have happened by now.

Infact, 80% of our time we are doing things which give us minimum results. Then we crib over how overworked we are and how we never have enough time on our hands.

We have wasted so much of our energy on these minor things, that we do not have energy left for the major issues before us. These major issues take backseat and we wonder why life is not heading in the direction we want it to.

Learn to distinguish between the major and minor things in life. Ask yourself, "Will this really matter to me a year from now?" If the answer is no, then don't spend too much time on it. Focus on the more important aspects of your life and you will see changes happening.

Changes which you want, the way you want them.

Chance to Believe

2009-04-04T11:36:00.006+05:30

In every motivation speech you hear or book you read, the importance of dreaming big dreams will be hammered onto you. If you cannot dream it you cannot achieve it. We get enough chances to dream. You will find enough people who will motivate you by telling us to dream big and follow your dreams.

How many give you a chance to believe?

Belief can make miracles happen.We do not need chances to dream, we dream enough already. We need more chances to believe. We need people and situations which give us chances to believe in ourselves, in the power of the almighty and the power of our mind.

Chances to believe that:

we can achieve our dreams
we can do well
we can be happy
we can be healthy
we can live the life we want
we can raise a happy family
we can make miracles happen
things will work out no matter how bad the current situation is
we have the power to achieve whatever we want to achieve.

Don't just make people dream, give them the chance to believe.

Build Castles in the Sky

2009-04-01T15:48:00.004+05:30

The statement generally implies daydreaming - unreal and fantastic. You must have been told never to build castles in the sky. You must have been warned that if you do, you will fail and never succeed.

Boy, are they wrong!

All the greatest achievements in the world started as castles in the sky. They were only dreams of an individual or a group of individuals. At some point of time they were nothing but ideas and thoughts.

Castles by nature are built in the sky, not on the ground. Once you know how your castle looks and where you want it, only then can you start building the foundation beneath. How many architects do you know, who have built a house without knowing how it will look in the end? We always start out with a concrete image of the end result in our mind. Only then do we go out planning and realising the goal.

Its very easy to build castles in the sky. Thats when the demons come out to play. We are so satisfied with our imaginary castle that we forget to work on the foundation. We do not put our full strength into working and building the foundation. Many times our castles are like New Year resolutions, we work on them only for a week or month. Then then vanish. So will your castle.

Build castles in the sky but start building the foundation immediately. Give yourself a time frame and plan a definite way to reach your castle. Lay the full foundation. Always keep the image of your castle in your mind.

Once you have laid the foundation, the castle will emerge in reality.

Journey of Life

2009-03-28T15:09:00.004+05:30

We begin our journey of life crying. That's our first response upon entering this world. Even though we are wailing our hearts out, people around us extremely happy. That's the onset of life.

A little further ahead our parents are teaching us to walk and talk. Pretty soon they are shouting at us to sit in one place and be quiet. That's life again.

We spend our childhood getting educated and sharpening our brains for the journey ahead. Some of us excel, others are average and some are downright miserable in this leg of the journey. We somehow pull through this phase and enter adulthood.

As adults we are expected to perform well, to be financial secure, to raise and provide for a family and to build a secure base for our children. Again some excel, others are average and some perform poorly here.

We enter into old age and begin to look back upon our journey of life. We look back upon all the things we should not have done and all the things that we could have done. Some look back with regret, at years wasted, and yet others look back with pride.

How does it all add up in the end? Each journey is unique and it is pointless comparing your journey with anyone else. The source (birth) and destination (death) is the same for everyone. Its the route that is different. The vehicle may be different. So will the passengers.

What is important is how you experience that journey. What matters is how well you drove your vehicle, not how fast you drove it. Savour each moment of the journey because this journey is your life.

Your life, no one else's.

Simplicity

2009-03-25T15:19:00.004+05:30

Haven't you noticed that the best things in life are very simple in design? Take nature for example, how a simple breeze lifting a kite high in the air gathers smiles and how a simple flower demands awe. Simplicity denotes beauty, clarity and purity. Complex tasks can easily be accomplished if you break them up into simple steps.

Take the Apple Ipod for instance, there is great beauty in its simple design. That's the reason why it is so popular. The best designs in this world are all based on the concept of simplicity. Just have a look around you.

Why do we complicate our lives by creating complex thoughts, relations, habits and behaviour. Why don't we weed out the unnecessary complexities and live simple, uncomplicated lives? Keep your relations simple, whether personal or professional, and you will be ultimately rewarded. Keep your thoughts even simpler. You will begin to enjoy your life and be less stressed out.

If you are faced with an insurmountable difficulty, try breaking it down into simple steps. Tackle each step with simplicity. You will be amazed by the results.

The simpler the solution to any problem, the greater are the chances of achieving success.

As Antione de Saint Exupery put it "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away".

Attention Seekers

2009-03-21T12:48:00.004+05:30

Humans are social creatures. They require social interaction and feedback. Some of us get this naturally from our daily lives and our relationships. However there are people who cannot connect with their lives and relationships. They are constantly seeking attention by one way or another. They have low Emotional IQ's. They will often indulge in negative behaviour so that people will notice them.

These emotionally immature people are highly insecure and lack in confidence. To counter these feelings they are constantly creating situations in which they become the centre of attention. They can indulge in manipulation and deception just to get attention. They will get into arguments and fights just to get involved. It does not matter to them that the situations they are creating are highly negative and destructive. They just seek attention. Period.

They can exaggerate their illness and pain, can provoke situations which can cause or invite injury to gain sympathy and thus attention. They often exhibit a 'poor me' persona.

They can even manipulate lives by creating highly negative situations and then posing as the saviour. This way they can emerge as heroes and get the attention they require.

These people manipulate and twist facts into extraordinary proportions. They are drama experts who will exploit any incident, no matter how small or insignificant, into events of dramatic proportions. Everything is do or die with them.

Its a constant emotional boxing match with these kind of people. They desperately need to be in the centre of the ring, the star attraction. Nothing less than that will do. They will do anything just to get attention.

These people will verbally assault you until you cave in. They will draw you into battle no matter what you do. They will try to get victimised so that they can later gain sympathy. What they say or do never matters to them. What is important is just other peoples reactions and words.

Remember, these people will do anything for attention. Dealing with these kind of people is very challenging and will test your emotional IQ to the limit.

Energy Reserves

2009-03-20T08:31:00.002+05:30

My son is 2 years old, my niece is 4 years and my nephew is 7 years. Its remarkable how much I learn from them.

Children are truly amazing. No matter what I do, I simply cannot match their 'play' endurance and energy levels. They seem to have unlimited reserves of energy. From the moment they wake up, they are up and running around whole day.

Have you ever played with children? How many minutes do you last with any kid? A few minutes, half an hour or maybe an hour? Its peanuts compared with how long these little kids can play with each other.

Where do they get their energy? How do they continuously replenish their energy? Why don't they seem to ever tire? Why do they seem so full of life?

I believe that we all have huge reserves of energy. Its what we do with these reserves that make the difference. Children do not waste their energy and neither do they allow anyone else to drain it. If you ever scold a kid unnecessarily, you will notice that they simply walk away from you. They will not allow you to drain their energies.

They utilize their resources to the best of their abilities. They are continuously replenishing their reserves by continuously laughing, screaming in glee and being happy. They are always positive, always exploring and learning. No obstacle can stand in their way. They will find their way around or over any hurdle that might come their way.

Haven't you noticed that even though playing with children physically tires you out, emotionally you feel like a million bucks? That's just the way children are. They spread out joy, happiness and laughter.

They do not waste their energies on sadness, guilt, unhappiness or sorrow. If they fall, they cry for a minute or two. Then they get back on their feet, smiling and being happy.

That's the secret to having unlimited reserves of energy.

Slumdog Millionaire Lessons

2009-03-03T11:05:00.009+05:30

I am sure that most of you must have watched 'Slumdog Millionaire' by now. In case you haven't check out the wiki entry here or better yet, go and watch it.

The movie was brilliantly directed and very well packaged. No wonder it has won 8 Oscars! Apart from the technical brilliance of the movie, what else can we learn from it?

YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE! No matter what your conditions, upbringing or environment, you always will have a choice. (Jamal and his brother both faced the same conditions yet Jamal chose to lead a good life whereas his brother chose a life of crime.)

YOU CAN WIN! No matter how much the odds are against you, you can still win. You never know when you might be the 'lucky' one. (Jamal winning Who Wants to be a Millionaire)

DREAM BIG! No matter how small your present life might be, never stop dreaming big. If you cannot dream it, you cannot achieve it. (Slum kids dreaming big.)

SHIT HAPPENS BUT IT MIGHT BE FOR THE BEST! (Jamal jumping into shit to get an autograph from his favourite actor. The shit enabled him to get up close with his dream star.)

TRUST WISELY. Many people will do anything for money. Do not just go by words or appearances alone. (Slum kids being exploited by those goons who lured them with food and money. The anchor trying to cheat Jamal by giving him wrong answer.)

BE FOCUSED. In order to achieve your dreams, you need to stay focused, determined and be persistent. If you have these three qualities, eventually you will get what you want. (Jamal reconnecting with his true love after all those years. It was just pure focus, determination and persistence which got him Latika.)

ADAPT. If you are resistant to change and adapt slowly, you will fail. You need to learn the art of adaption. If situations change, you need to change equally fast. This is a highly competitive world we live in, which is constantly changing. If you do not change with it, you will be left far behind. (Jamal adapting to every situation throughout the movie. Selling street wares, being a tourist guide, serving tea in call centre etc.)

ENJOY YOUR LIFE. Do not brood over what you have or don't have. You will simply be wasting your life. Instead make the best of what you have and enjoy your life. (Slumkids enjoying their life despite their harsh conditions.)

These are just a few lessons we can learn from the movie. Hope you enjoyed the movie as much as I did.

The Truth about Six Pack Abs - Part 1

2009-02-18T11:19:00.005+05:30

Six Pack Abs! Don't we all want them! This is perhaps the number one fitness goal that most people have. We don't care about how many miles we can run or how strong we can be, we just want six pack abs! Period.

If you are like the rest of us, that simply means 'trimming' the fat off your belly by doing regular crunches and some cardio exercises. Have you ever heard yourself say "The rest of my body is fine, just have to lose two to three inches off my stomach."?

In fact this is what most first time gym goers want. That's their number one fitness goal.

Are they way off! There is no such thing as spot reduction. You cannot, I repeat, cannot reduce fat off one part of the body. The only way to do that is through surgery. You have no control over the fat burning process. Get this straight first.

Another misconception is that if I do a hundred, two hundred or five hundred crunches a day, I will get six pack abs. Wrong! Doing this will definitely give you solid, strong abs. No doubt about that, but you will never be able to see them because they will be covered in layers of fat!

The only way to get six pack abs is to lower your body fat to below 10 percent. That's it. That's the magic secret. There is no other way. No miracle ab cruncher machines, sauna belt or pills will do it. These are all fake. Don't waste your time and money on them.

You now know the secret. Its simple. Just lower your body fat to below 10% and you will have six pack abs.

However to do this in a healthy way requires dedication, willpower and effort. In the next part of this series I will try to guide you through the process so that within 6 months you too can have six packs! I did it, so can you!

Where are You Aiming?

2009-02-17T15:56:00.004+05:30

We all have our goals and targets. We accomplish some of them and then aim higher. We then set our sights on new targets.

One question you must ask yourself is 'Where am I aiming?'.

Have you set your aim only on your target? Will you be happy with a 90% or 110% hit? You may overshoot or undershoot your target in a matter of speaking. Will that satisfy you?

Simply put, aim much further than what you will be satisfied with. For example if you want to reach the moon, aim for the stars. Even if you miss the stars, you will have at least reached the moon! If your aim is earning more money, why set your sights on a million bucks? Make your target 2, 3 or even 5 million!

That way, in case you do fail in reaching your target, you will still end up smiling.

In life we do not always get what we want, but that shouldn't stop you from asking more! Who knows, you might get it and even if you don't, you will still end up the winner.