Zambezi Wild Chaps

Like Sands Thru The Hour Glass.....................

2010-04-26T20:51:00.009+02:00

I'll tell you one thing for free........... Nothing worthwhile happens overnight!! If any of you expected to see a whole bunch of blogging going on everyday for the past 'little' while then you spend far too much time on google and your facebook and not enough time getting what needs doing done!!!

Man, I can't believe it's been two years since a post was posted on this pesky thing. Best thing though is that for the 5 million or so loyal viewers, this is as good as a beetles reunion or the ressurection of 2Pac........Hahahaha, I wish.

Nonetheless,The Colonel & The Commodore & The Dcap, take great pleasure in bringing to you what may be considered the Wildchaps Revival Tour. Starting May 2010, we pledge to bring to you the latest and greatest of the Zambezi Valley. The Ups, the downs, The highs & lows, The Skinder & Scandal. We gonna hold no punches, give it to you raw and unscensored. These are after all , The Days of Our Lives!!!!

Willie WalliT'll be comin out the woodwork too, more wordly and more epically eccentric than ever before. He promises me that he has scoured the continent of Zambia for some of the juiciest little tit-bits and will entrigue us with each and every story.

At the end of the day though, I was going thru some of the stuff I've jotted down over the past while and came across the following little piece that I put together a while ago. It still stands true, and possibly more so today than ever before. Thought It might be worth the read. Hope Y'all enjoy.
Take it easy. If you can't take it easy, play it safe.....and if you can't play it safe.............Buy a Pram!!!

The Commodore;))

THE EVOLUTION OF THINGS.....................

Good old Charlie Darwin & his Cronies spent a whole bunch of months sitting on a boat coming up with the whole theory that for anything to survive in its environment it needed to change and adapt. Well kind of. The intracacies of C.D's whole theory is too taxing on my keyboard co-ords and well, just too intellectual to go into on this little brain vomit of ours. However, just like Charlie and his mates, I've spent a little time on a boat pondering The Evolution of Things. 'Things' generally being 'WildTracks'. And this is where things have led:

It's often difficult at close range, to see whether or not you're getting somewhere with something or not. It's that whole 'bigger picture' or 'wood from the trees' idea. When you eventually take a little bit of a step back, BAMM!! Suddenly it'll smack you up the left side of the head. Today's been kinda lke that. If you spend the whole of a public holiday traipsing about getting yourself in a Tizz about the stoopid pumps that leak and the patchy lawn or 'things' still to be done or better yet the lazy chaps you employ, you can feel.....well, BAD. But! Sit back in the evening and drift past it all on the boat & By Cheesus it's coming on!

It's taken some time, it's taken some effort. But, I think that with an extra bit, it can and will be something! And that's all I have to say about that

Can you believe that with a break from blogging of goodness knows how long, that's just about all I have news on. Over the past months, I've barely had time to wet a line, squeazed a few school groups through & pretty much spent the better part of everyday putting stuff together or on the road. Been fun though!!

The time I have spent on the water has been well spent though. Have taken some killer pics with my new toy(and missed a few too). But although I'll never admit that there are other ways apart from fishing to enjoy an afternoon on the boat, I will say that when the fishing is off, a few snaps are a fine way of amusing one'self.

Just for kicks, here's a little something I dug up from Willy T's archive. Watch out for the Slithering Seprentine Seed of Satan!

Enjoy!!

The Commodore;))

Snake bites girl, 17, in church

By Times Reporter

A SEVENTEEN-year-old girl of Lufwanyama is admitted to Kitwe Central Hospital after she was bitten by a snake which crept into a church building during Sunday worship.
The incident happened in the morning when Mika Washeni of Chief Lumpuma’s area was congregating at a local Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
The snake slithered into the hall unnoticed and bit the girl on the hand as she was praying.
The girl screamed and caught the attention of the congregants who immediately killed the serpent.
Hospital public relations officer Gray Chishimba confirmed the incident in an interview yesterday.
He said the girl was taken to the hospital by members of of the Church after administering traditional medicine. He described the condition of the girl as stable.

I Am Not The One!!

2008-04-23T17:27:00.011+02:00

The trick with us Africans is that no matter what goes on, we've always got an excuse with which to shift the blame or 'pass the buck', so to speak. And if there's one thing I've learnt living on the river, it's that there's no excuse too far fetched. As long as you insert some element of truth, you can get away with pretty much anything. So as always, I'll start this off with an excuse proportionately far fetched to explain my extended absence:

''But you see Bwana's/Madame's(tick appropriate), sometime back the rains they came and made incredibo' probrems four us guys here.....They have cause'd everything to four down and we have expended the passing months to make the necessary prans and lennovations of which most are ongoing to this date...These lains have also caused communications probrems with the computa systems. But we have managed to lid these systems of the gremrins and are now ready to continue with our updates. Meanwhile, we were forced to celeblate the festivities of chlismass andi also easter. We are very sorry for any inconvenience we have caused within this period. We are wekkin on the probrem andi will be up and lunning anytime from now.''

So there you have it. Not as creative as some of the excuses I've heard, but suitable I'd think for the extended absence. Take what truth you like out of it, the rest I'll try summarise into this update.

Okay, formalties over, let's get on with it. We have indeed had what one can only describe as nothing short of Biblical rains this season. You wouldn't know it if you came to the valley now though. Man the bush dries out quickly once the rains stop.

So, as most of you who know us will already know, we've had to take down half of the camp and go in a new direction. The replacements for the treehouses will now be Meru tents which'll hopefully be here and ready for installation by the end of next week. The rest of the rennovations will go pamono-pamono and will include, a new dining area, a few more tents and the odd bits and bobs around just to make the place a little more 'lodgy'. But for now, progress is impressive and I'm looking forward to the finished product(not that one's ever happy that you've reached the end-product) very much. We've also gone along with things like the staff quarters, finished off the campsites, redone the back of the kitchen and even managed to fix the saggy roof problem we had on the back of the Boma. There are all the little things too, but then most of you aren't interested in that sort of rubbish. At the end of the day, we've got till the 1st of June to get to operational status. A push at this point, but it has to be done and I believe with a few more of the 8hr 'go-come' trips to town, we will manage it.

Otherwise we've had the usual fun & games that go with River Life. A few staff shorter than I used to be and picked up a few stragglers along the way, have left me wondering about the wise old guy that came up the 'better the devil you know' concept. But that too, will be sorted out as time marches on.

In all the chaos there has of course been the odd afternoon or evening to spend wetting a line or taking a few 'snaps' with the new toy. Most noteworhty of late are the 9 & 10kg Cornish Jack we've finally managed to work out how to fish for. Definitely not the hardest fighting fish, but a worthy quarry on a small bream stick and 10lb line. Add to this the 10 million sqeakers, silver barbel and the odd 'zesco' barbel, and it's not too bad a night out when you have nothing better to do. So the season's not too lacking in fish. That's if you ignore the fact that the Tiger that make the Zambezi the angling destination it is, are sadly lacking!! But then maybe we just don't know what we're doing. Haha, not likely!! I like to think that the rains've messed it all up and the super high water is interfering. Well that's what the locals say anyway(last year I was complaining about low water...will we ever be happy??)

All in all, things on The Mighty Zambezi aren't half bad. Our only real irritation presently is that pesky pontoon thingy. If they're not having lunch or morning tea or breakfast or some other form of break, the damn pontoon is on 'break' or more precisely broken. When it does work, it's pretty extreme!! There's nothing quite like the exhilaration of putting your landcruiser on a half-sinking steel bathtub with tractor engines on it and hoping that it's going to make it to the other side of the river. At the moment we get our money's worth though. The 'seagulls' they've got on it for engines aren't strong enough to tackle the torrent that is the Kafue River, so we end up halfway down towards the confluence. Haha, I had to feel for the poor guys who got their vehicles stuck on it just before easter and ended up moored to the bank 300m downriver for three days when one of the engines packed in.

Well I guess that if anyone has managed to read the through the whole of this ramble, they deserve a pat on the back...pat pat!!!

If you just read the beginning and looked at the pictures and read the end....Good Job, the middle was boring!!

I'll try get hold of something from good old WillyT's archive in the coming updates. For now though, watch out there now!!......The Commodore;))

Try Spinning!!!!

2007-10-05T18:52:00.000+02:00

One kinda hoped that France were holding the World Cup for Slackers instead of Rugby at the moment...Alas they're not!! So, the Wildchaps will just have to wait till it becomes an olympic sport before entering......On that note, I'm truly sorry for the silence. Hey, look at it this way, if it were truly golden, then we'd be rich as &^$%!!!..haha

What the past six weeks have done though is given me an epic tale for y'all...So grab a d.cap.mog, sit back, and enjoy the tales of Africa.

I figure, as always, it's best to start from what's freshest in my mind....

We've just finshed our latest group of kids. Good week!!! This'd be the second year we've done the leadership program for older students and all went off without a hitch. Either they were really well behaved, or just sneaky enough to get away with stuff without us noticing, I'd like to think it was the former. But an awesome week by any means(we've still got the second half of them at the end of the month though???). I did manage to show this lot how to catch a tiger on command though, which impressed them no end.

Speaking of the tiger. Last week got me a season record!!! Alas, it was, as always, below that elusive 7kg mark, but i reckon 6.8kgs and close on 30minutes of doggish fighting is as good as any man can ask for. Sadly, after a fight like that, I was unable to revive the beast but he went a long way to providing us with the tastiest of treats over a few days.

Generally speaking, summer has hit us with a vengeance and it's brought with it some awesome fishing. Plenty is to be had on all fronts. Except of course the Cornish Jack thingy!! We tried again this full moon and struggled endlessly. Between the mozzies and the squeakers, we're not entirely sure who won out, but it sure as hell wasn't myself or the neighbours !!!

Going back to the week gone by quickly, we had rather a disturbing experience. Something I can't infact joke about!! Anyone who's ever spent time on a boat in Zambia(or freshwater for that fact), knows that very few poeple wear their 'kill-switch'. But, mid-week, I discovered what it's there for. To cut a long story short, we had to rescue some zimbabweans from the water after they came off their boat. Relatively harmless sounding??? Until you see the violence with which a boat goes round and round and round and round without anyone controlling it. Pretty hectic I tell you!!!! But at the end of the day, we were lucky to get everyone involved out of the water safely and they even managed to get the boat back after it eventually ploughed into an island somewhere downstream. Needless to say, I have a new respect for the little red rope I'm s'posed to put round my wrist when driving!!!

As far as other things go, we've abandoned the previous builder(I won't comment on here) and I'll be doing the buying next week in Lusaka for the new guy. After that it's full steam ahead with the renovations and stuff.

Haha...Renovations??? How about rebuilding?? At the moment it seems that everything I look at needs to be redone. We won't talk about the thatch yet cos that's coming soon, but the other day we discovered that due to the staff's 'ingenuity'(i.e. laziness) in deciding not to put the leaf trap in the weir of the pool(cos the filter has one?????) the intake pipe got sooooooo blocked up that we had to dig the whole thing up and pretty much re-do the piping. Idiots!!! I s'pose I should've pre-empted it...but then one can't micro-manage everything??

Mmmmm...hahaha, the list of things that've gone on recently is endless.......take for instance last weekend's trip to town. All keen to do the shopping and not so keen for town I thought I'd leave on Saturday morning at 7am and be back on Sunday afternoon......All well and good?? Until the water pump on the cruiser packed up just after the Kafue Bridge. Stupid thing!!! That put a 3hr delay on my trip which meant a:) I missed the bank, b:) I then had to fight with shoprite to let me pay by check and c:) ?Just a rubbish trip to town........Wake up Peter!!! You Live in Africa...nothing ever goes as planned!!!

Haha, just thinking about Kafue........A couple of week's back, late as usual, I managed to once again have myslef arrested for 'extremerry' dangerous driving. The best part of this experience is that it took the 5'0's all the way to the road-block to catch up with me for an offence I allegedly committed in Kafue town(10km back.....they did phone the raodblock though and I had everyone waiting for me in full uniform, hi-viz, gloves and all!!). Looking back, the only sin I'd committed was passing(a truck going 15kph) on a solid white, not a curve as the fuzz claimed. But then at 17h00 one is not exactly in a position to argue. Ultimately, the most amusing part of the 'negotiation' was when the officer asked me if I would be 'comfortable' if they jst put me in cuffs as an act to show they'd arrested me?????

Man, I'm starting to realise why blogging on a regular basis would benefit me in the long run....this here thang is turning into quite a novel??? And for that reason, I'll fill you in on the other amusing things that've happened(the croc ppl's arrival, Kairara,etc.) when I can over coming weeks.....for now though, it's onto forthcoming attractions....

October is here!!!!! And that means one thing......'Friends only'....As it stands it seems the 'Wildchaps' team, will be only Two ( Myself & Captain Kevin ''mos' deadly'' Macaulay) but I am most confident that we will, as local boys, put on a mighty show and teach the Baha Men from 'the other side' a lesson. We will have to wait and see though, last time I promised potential, we failed miserably. But, come the 20th, we will be M-en O-f S-erious I-ntentions!!!!

Once again my friends, I'm truly apologetic for the slackness, I will indeed try harder in coming weeks to fill you in...

For now though......Rock the boat.....The Commodore;)

Gearing up!

2007-08-20T21:59:00.000+02:00

In amongst the preparations for this fortnight's two 5night school camp's, laying water pipes and prepping the new croc site for power & lawn and then of course the obligatory d.cap mog soaked, meaningful, solve all the problems in the world by 2am on Saturday morning, conversation with the bwana, I finally made it out on the water on Sunday afternoon for a test run of the new 'seaclet weepon'. After some not so professional fishing and bloodshed from a wayward cast which caught the wrong side of a rather thorny tree, I finally got serious and tempted this bull of a fish to come out from behind a stump for a tasty treat. Funnily enough, the cast itself was into a hole a croc had just come out of. The fifteen odd minutes that followed had me wondering at times if what I had on the end of the line was in fact a croc, vundu or anything other than 11lbs of tigree. This cheeky bugger stayed well out of sight till just before we netted it. Not a record, but certainly an excellent fight that had me thinking that if it was a tiger, I was finally going to break that elusive 7kg barrier I've come so close to but just can't seem to pass. Whatever size it was, this one and the other strikes I had for the afternoon proved that come the warmer weather and upcoming 'challenges', my new rig is going to devastate the tiger and the competition.

I wasn't the only one to take a noteworthy Tiger this weekend. In fact, when all was said and done, mine was a full pound less noteworthy than that of the Bwana. His 12lber was taken right in front of the lodge on Saturday afternoon and I watched on in horror and jealousy from the boma as it was hauled onto the deck. My only retort to this outrage is that the 12 was taken on a bait whereas the 11 was some classy presentation of a carefully prepared artificial lure, the nature of which I shall not reveal until it is too late for the 'Okavango Okes' to do anything about.

I'm looking forward to spending a bit of time on the water on Saturday afternoon once the latest group departs, honing my skills and seeing what excitment the warm weather and clear water will bring for us.

Moving away from the fishing now and onto the lodge, it seems for now the jumbo have given up digging the water pipes up and are content to just mill around on the property looking for natives to chase or crops to destroy. That's not to say they won't get bored of that and come back to annoying me soon. My latest scheme is to pipe water into a favorite rainy season hippo wallow just outside the campsites to try give them something else to amuse themsleves with. But with the lights and power going into the camping areas this weekend, they should behave a bit better from now on anyway. We'll see!!

Haven't heard much from the builders of late. But they should be or should I say will 'hopefully' be in close to the end of the month to do the long overdue renovations and maintenance on the buildings. Once that's done, we'll be on the right track and better equipped to handle the latest surge in popularity we're having.

For now though, we plod along with the usual routine....Adios Hombres;)) El Commodorrey

The Okavango-Zambezi Challenge

2007-08-13T10:51:00.000+02:00

It's been talked about for a long time, but it seems that the boys from the Okavango Delta may finally make it up to the Zambezi to experience some real tigerfishing and to take on the Zambezi Wildchaps at their own game. Will they succeed?

There's been some big talk from the 'Okavango Okes' (their own moniker) but the time is coming when they will have to put their money where their mouths are and show us whether or not they can actually cut it when it comes to chasing those elusive striped water dogs on a real river, or does swamp fishing just entail sitting on an Aliboat, drinking St Louis and waving sticks in the air?

So who's in the challenge?

The Vrdoljak brothers from Team Wildchaps have not been seen on the river together since January, but will still be a force to be reckoned with. The drift fishing technique honed by Pete has proved extremely effective in the past in generating plenty of strikes and some decent sized tiger in the boat. They do of course have home ground advantage, but will this be enough? It could be a tough challenge for the Wildchaps, as there's a lot of pride at stake here.

The Okavango Okes are all ex-members of the crocodile research group in the Okavango and have all spent many hours on the river in Bostswana. In amongst their hectic research schedule they also (allegedly) found some time to develop some fishing skills too.

It's also been a while since the Okes were all on an Aliboat together, so hopefully they haven't lost the touch. Sven 'Grandpappy' Bourquin is finally making the big trek from the Cape to the river this year after many months in front of his PC. Vince 'Vincemate' Shacks is the only team member whose had a chance to keep his hand in with weekend expeditions in the delta, but has he been using that time to practice casting or lifting a beer can? Big Kev Wallace will have spent a bit of time at his new home on the Zambezi, so he may be able to provide the Okes with some valuable Zambezi intel, or at the very least knock together some comfy furniture for the team with his carpentry skills developed during his sojourn in the UK.

What's it all about?
It's all about the tigers of course, and who can get the biggest in the boat! No idiot bait-fishing though, any monkey from Mungwe point can drift down the river dragging a fillet while blasting 'Who let the dogs out?' to all and sundry. House rules are strictly lure-fishing only and catch and release.

December is not exactly prime fishing time as the teams will potentially have to deal with extreme heat, dirty water and wayward Zimbos on the river on top of the usual challenges of chasing tigers, but if everyone is as good as they say they are this should just add some spice to the competition. At the very least December fishing in the past has provided some good times out on the water and in camp, so it ought to be a goody! This will hopefully be the first encounter in a continuing series that may see the Wildchaps trying out their skills in the Delta some time in the future.

We'll keep you all posted!

Looking back....Moving Ahead!!!

2007-08-11T08:27:00.000+02:00

If the passing of two full moons counts as many, then it has indeed been 'many moons' since the last update from the river. And under those many moons, much has happened! The silence then due to this increased activity, and not, as some may suspect, in fear of commie spies picking up on sensitive info which may be passed in code from the wildchaps to our army of followers.

The great trek down the Leopard's Hill Road has come and gone. Much sweat and surprisingly few tears were shed over the 50 gruelling kilometres and two nights.

The first night was spent just below Mfundashi mountains in a secluded grove of trees off the road, next to a small river bed. Giving the cyclists a much needed sleep before the up & down of Mfundashi the following day.

Day two's camp was a little less impressive in some sparse mopane woodland somewhere on the valley floor. But it did the job. A Rhombic night adder of size, gave that little extra excitment when making camp.

Day three saw the cyclists doing the longest yet easiest leg back to the camp. Much needed showers and comfy beds were well recieved by all.

The expedition was a roaring success, topped off with what I am told was a magnificent two nights on various islands down The River by canoe. Definitely something that is worth another trip or two in the future!!

Onto all things lodgy. Things have plodded along merrily for the past while. An increase in weekend activity and the odd school group or two has kept everyone on their toes. In amongst all the hubbub, we continue with our endeavours to try get somewhere with maintenance and improvements. The builders have been down to have a look and hopefully all things going according to plan will begin their part within the next few weeks. I've also met with a thatcher who once again is trying to con me into paying insane amounts of money to rethatch the camp. I understand it's going to be expensiv anyway, but the costs we are looking at at the moment are going to force us to explore other avenues, at least for the treehouses anyway. The rest of the camp we'll just have to swallow hard and get it done. Another rainy season with the 'sieves for roofs' we've got at the moment, will not be pleasant.

Most exciting, is the arrival of the 'Earthwatchers' end of the month. They'll be spendingat least two years with us as a base of operations for their croc research. We're definitely looking forward to having them here. If nothing else, at least there'll be some regular company as opposed to the usual touri who breaze in and out.

On the fishing side of things there's been precious little time to actually get out on the water and fish. The time I have spent out there is time with other people and having to dodge flayling Effzets and untangle lines or land fish leaves little more than a cast or two for myself when the 'Effzet Ninjas' have given up flayling. That's not to say there haven't been fish. A few nice 8-10lber's have been boated of late so there is still hope for a good cold season. I'm hoping to hit the water tomorrow afternoon an mount a serious assault om some of the runs just down from the camp where the Ninjas have been losing out on some good strikes.

Sticking with all things Wild for a bit. Our recent plague of Jumbo in and around the camp, is showing no signs of letting up and every night they seem to get a little bolder. Their latest trick is to frollick in the water below chalet I in the early evening before they move off into the campsite for some fun & games trashing trees and fiddling with my water pipes. It's great to have them here, but they can be a bit of a menace at times. Had an incident on Thursday morning with a youngish bull who decided the cruiser wasn't going to pass untill he'd done enough shouting at it for it to know that he's the boss.

Ah, most exciting news!!! Yes, I have my cruiser back. The old tank is looking spiffing with her 'maluti white' paint job, flat black chassis and chrome flicker unit. Alas at the moment, the pimp flicker is only one, but just as soon as the other arrives and I find some time to have a new bull-bar fitted, it'll be pimped out and ready to cruise the Lower Zambezi, head held high. It is nice though to have the practicality of the cruiser back and be able to cart insane amounts of sand for the bank again.

Upcoming events include the annual Kairara Gova festival in early September which this year is being held for three full days to celebrate the Chieftainesses 20th year of reign. We've also got the first hosting of 'Friends Only', a fishing compo to be held in October. That one should be a goodie!!!

So for now, or for as many moons as it takes for me to get round to filling you all in again........Take a leaf out of Team Member Sven's book(above) and Take it easy...The Commodore

Under Pressure!!

2007-06-15T20:14:00.000+02:00

I am most disgusted (as I'm sure most of you are) that I don't have a picture of the jetty in all it's glory!! For the endless months and harping on about it, you'd expect me to have hundreds of them. Alas, I have only the unvarnished product, but I'm sure you can envisage the finished version. I will try remember to pop down tomorrow and get some of it.

Things have been ploddong along merrily for the last week or so. The most recent group of kids, had (or at least led to me to believe they did) a wonderful time. It was refreshing to have such a small and interactive group.

School's out for a bit, so it's giving me a spot of extra time in camp as opposed to being on the road or roaming around Manda Hill doing the shopping. And excting things are happening!! Today (and I don't know why I'm so excited about it but I am!!), we managed to install the 'uber'-pressure pump, which has been a roaring success (for now??) and boosted the water pressure phenomenally. I'm still waiting for the blowout and frustrating aftermath though cos the installation was a little tooo smooth. But fingers crossed it'll all stay as is and present no further problems. This does of course mean that we are in a different league to other lodges (well at least according to The Madam's philosophy) as we are now a lodge without, or at least with very few water problems....Haha, I hear ominous music and drumrolls followed by 40days and 40nights of burst pipes, no water or some other frustration concerning H2O...

Other Excellent news is that last weekend was well spent sitting in the empty pool trying out all manner of Pratley products on the cracks. For now(and that's a big FOR now), the pool is not leaking....at all. So now that we've already crossed fingers for the 'Uber'-pump, it's time to cross toes or something for the pool and bank movement.

Does it sound like I've had any time for fishing?? I'll admit that although I've been 'lus' to put the boat in the water, I've been lazy!! Not only that, I've been feeling a bit downtrodden having destroyed 4 rather costly fishing rods in as many weeks. Granted three of them were as a direct result of 30tonnes of cement, and the other succumbed to the jaws of 'The Hound', but it has nonetheless dampened my fishing spirit. It's somewhat encouraging though that the afternoon boat for this week's camp lost 5 good fish in two hours so I've tentatively set aside Sunday afternoon for some Simply Wildness and going to launch a Diabolical assault on the Tigrees.

In parting, here's something a little something I dug out of Intrepid WW's stash, I'm not entirely sure if it's been in before. My apologies if it has.....

For now, Under Pressure, The Commodore;))

Suspected thief blinded

AN instant justice mob of Mupata village in Mpulungu on Tuesday night beat up and pierced the eyes of a suspected thief from the same village after he allegedly attempted to steal from the house of one of the villagers.
A check by ZIS at Mpulungu police station today found the unnamed man lying in pain with a blood-smeared face as a mob of angry youths chanted slogans in solidarity with the action taken against the man at a distance.
One of the youths spoken to expressed satisfaction at the action of the villagers saying the suspect was known for his thieving activities.
He said the action would also serve as a warning to all those contemplating thieving activities in Mupata, a village notorious in theft cases.
The suspected thief was only saved by patrolling police officers last night and police say they have launched investigations in the matter.-- Zana/ZIS

The Tough Get Going!!!

2007-06-03T21:10:00.000+02:00

Right!! In an attempt to get back into the habit of blogging on a regular basis, I have decided to try come up with some worthwhile news of the weekend past.

In light of the last couple of weeks/months, the weekend was gloriously quiet. Almost uneventful infact. That is of course if you ignore the fact that Super-Changwe has once again worked his magic around camp. 'The Biggest Jetty in the Valley' is now looking smashing. All that's left is the lighting and gangplanks. His two week stint has lifted morale and finished up some well overdue work.

Speaking of 'Super-Changwe', it seems his departure may be somewhat delayed. The 'uneventful' weekend was interupted this afternoon, firstly by a visit from 'His Excellency' the Ambassador of France(completely off the point but it's nice to name drop), and then a phone call from the neighbour to ask for a lift. Yup, the great new speedy pontoon has ground to a very expected halt and thus my afternoon of really very RUBBISH fishing was pleasantly disturbed by a trip to the pontoon to fetch the neighbours. Optimists say they'll have it running by tomorrow afternoon. Realists, are banking on about a week. I'm hoping for somewhere in the middle. Let's say Wednesday or Thursday.

Other than the excitment of bombing up the River at 85kph, we soldier on. The great winter swimming pool repair seems to have been a bit of a disaster, but we'll right that before the next trip up to town. If worse comes to worse, we'll be using the Leopard's Hill 4X4 adventure road more often than expected from now on.

Just for fun, I dug up something Willy brought in a while back. Something my neighbour's been struggling with for the last month or two...

Till next time, in the words of Billy Ocean, 'When the Going gets Tough....'......:)) The Commodore

Siavonga harvest under threat from jumbos

By Times Reporter

THE Catholic Commission for Peace and Justice (CCPJ) in Siavonga district has said people in the area will continue depending on relief food if elephants destroying fields are not cropped.
Lusitu CCPJ branch coordinator Robson Simweemba said people in the area worked hard to ensure that there was enough food for them but the harvest was under threat from the elephants.
Mr Simweemba said the elephants were now destroying crops which survived the recent floods that swept away maize, millet and sorghum early this year.
“Elephants in Lusitu area of Siavonga district are destroying crops. What this means is that if they are not cropped then even this year there will be hunger in the area,” he said.
Mr Simweemba said the animals were not only threatening food harvest but also human life.
He said last month a young boy was almost crushed to death by an elephant when it found him scaring animals using an empty tin.
Mr Simweemba also said sorghum seeds which Care International gave to peasant farmers were not good for regions like Lusitu because they were the late maturing type.
The branch coordinator said people needed fast maturing crops because the area did not have a long period of rainfall to last up May.

Heavy Going!!!

2007-05-31T20:46:00.000+02:00

My friends!! Too long it has been since you last heard from us at The River. For this I apologise!! Things have been beyond insane for the last month or so. Rather than start at the beginning, I think my mind would better recall things if we worked backwards....so from the end to beginning, here's the last month and a bit of news!

We've finally made it up the Leopard's Hill road all the way to Lusaka. Man what a drive!! Absolutley awesome! The graders have been up and down at least once now so although one doesn't feel as pioneering as before, it is still a 4X4er's paradise and the first 40 odd km from our side is just breathtaking as far as scenery goes. Completely unspoilt. Pure magic!!

As for the River Lure Competition we were looking forward to so much..haha!! The Wildchaps stumbled upon some rotten luck...It's not that we didn't catch fish, we didn't even make to the competition! This, thanks to a 30tonne truck which managed to take me out on the road to Luskaka!! Yup...to cut a long story as short as it can be cut, a stalled truck with no trailer-brakes, a jacknifed trailer, a landcruiser & boat and a rather steep hill will never end happily. Luckily though, by the end of the sliding, graunching of metal, shattering of fibreglass and just general mayhem, Colonel Mustard and I were still able to scramble out of the passenger window, over the boat to safety.

The accident is only the beginning!! When you live in a country where the police have no transport and you have an accident 50km from nowhere, good samaritans is all you have. Luckily, Zambia/The Machinga escarpment isn't short of these. I think the isolation is what does it. Kind of like the fact that when you go on holiday you feel obliged to say hello or wave to everyone! Every car that passes stops to make sure everyone is ok. Some frantic 'I'm okay, send help!!' message sending and then hitch-hiking later, we made it to Chirundu to give statements and find my too generous neighbour to help with the next step of investigation.

The saga is ongoing but 'Lucky-strike' is now just a shadow of her former self, a skeleton stuck somewhere on the Machinga escarpment. We managed to salvage pretty much everything we could from the boat and what we left has since been scavenged. The cruiser on the otherhand is fixable...at a cost!! Ultimately, walking away was first prize. Makes you wonder if someone really is watching?? How we recoupe the material losses from the other party's involved is a novel unto itself!!I've driven past the 'scene' at least twice on my own since it happened and sweaty palms still haunt me. But each trip is getting little easier.

In comparison, the weeks of children prior to 'the incident' were easy and very successful. The weekenders have also picked up which is always a good sign. Since the last time I blogged there's been little time for anything else except 'customer relations'.

The fishing front..haha..since the Easter drop in water, things have suffered (even the locals are suffalling). A rapid temperature change has also affected things. The moon's first quarter 10days ago did however bring some promise. I'm hoping once we get past the full moon this week we'll get into the 'Big' winter bite. The super-high water at the moment is also a good sign as the big tiger will hopefully move up into the shallows during the day for the warmer water. Better access on the good 'ole Effzet yeah!!

Willy WaliT, for all his slacking, is the one person whose been bugging me to blog for the last month. He claims he has a few 'goodies' for us?? I have decided that with the mental schedule at the moment we are going to abandon Article Tuesday and I'll just post whatever Willy brings me.

Untill tomorrow....Keep Keepin on...The Commodore;)

If at First You Don't' Succeed!!!

2007-04-19T08:49:00.000+02:00

The Shear magnitude of what we did yesterday is lost in the photos, but to call Leopard's Hill a road would be a gross over-representation. As a 4X4 trail though, Absolutely magnificent!! Steep inclines, Super-steep hill descents(whoever built the road worked on the principle of the shortest distance between two points is best. In other words if there is a hill in the way, go over it, don't wind, go straight over!!), awesome dry riverbeds to cross(the road just drops away into them), three wheel rock walking, thick unspoilt bush and awesome views made the 6hour foray into the unknown one of the coolest things I've ever done!! Sadly, 3hrs and 30km into the journey, efforts to make it to Lusaka were brought to a rather unceremonius halt by a grader stuck in the middle of the road, on one of the hillsides. The only signs of the driver were fresh footprints in the dirt and the warm engine. An hour earlier would've seen us get past. But with a bank on one side and a shear drop on the other, the only way past would've been to move the blade. Since I know nothing about grader operation or if it is even possible to move the blade when the thing is broken down, the only option was to turn around(interesting enough) and return along the track we had come along.
As it stands, we've made two attempts at the route and have doubled the distance each time. Third time will be the charm. Fo' Sho'!!. And the fourth is from town to the river by bicycle, motorbike and support vehicle later in the winter. If the fish traders can do it, so can we..hahaha!! Sadly though (and at the risk of sounding like I built Africa), by the end of June, they say they'll have revamped it so although it'll be exciting, it'll have nothing on what we have already seen.
Willy still hasn't shown up to give me an article of note, so I have routed around in his stuff and managed to pull one out for you. This one was clearly just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Castrated officer on mend

A WATER affairs officer who was castrated by his workmates in suspicious circumstances in early September is reported to be out of danger and is recovering steadily. A police source told Zana that Francis Musonda had since been discharged from Kasama General Hospital and is currently recovering at his home in Mporokoso.Police said even the two officers suspected of having castrated their colleague have been put on police bond.He said the case is coming up in court on November 19, where details of how the whole episode occurred, will be disclosed. On September 26, the castrated officer was invited for dinner by two of his workmates who consequently pounced on him and castrated him.-Zana

Xterra-rised!

2007-04-16T09:12:00.000+02:00

It seems that the Xterra was all that it promised (or threatened) to be - and 'gruelling' would not be a bad word to describe it - at least the bike section that is! Saturday turned out to be an awesome day for racing in Grabouw - blue skies and sun, but not too hot.

The first leg of the race was up to our specialist swimmer Sven 'Tango' Bourquin, who was one of the few brave souls who hit the water in a Speedo amongst all the other wetsuit clad competitors, and was outstanding in the swim - not only because of the 19 degree water. Somehow he managed to evade our photographers, but you may be able to pick him out somewhere in all the chaos. After being hit with a surprise 800m dash over open ground from the water to the transition area, he passed on the timing chip and sent me off on the 30km MTB course.

Things did not go as smoothly as I would've like as after seven kilometres I buckled my rear rim slightly meant that my brakes were binding for the rest of the race - not great on a course that already involved some mad climbs and. The technical difficulties did not stop there as a bit later I fritzed my odometer on an unexpectedly deep water crossing and then lost 1/3 of my gears to bad 'chain-suck' reducing my 27 gears to 18... again not really ideal for a course with some rather hectic ascents. So after a rather long 3hrs out on the course I finally made it back to the transition area to hand over to our runner, Carmen, who did well considering the fact that this was actually an offroad race was only sprung on her at the last minute!

All told, Team Sierra-Foxtrot-Tango did not really pose a huge threat to the big guns. We finished 145th out of 179 overall (35th of 39 teams in our category) with a total time of 4hrs 44mins. The overall winner, Conrad Stoltz completed all three legs in 2hrs 44mins - less time than I was out there on the bike for! Nonetheless, we finished and got the medals to prove it, it was good fun, the beer tasted good afterwards and it is definitely a better way to spend a Saturday morning than moping about the house with a post Friday night hangover!

Stiff Upper Lipping!!

2007-04-15T18:44:00.000+02:00

Tumultuous!! That's about all I can think of to describe the trials that have been the last two weeks, no doubt evident from the notable absence of updates from The River. I won't bore you with the entire list but the more notable travesties include:
A hippo attack on a supposedly 'hippo-proof' boat, work permit anxiety, theft, car-accidents, Theft, general staff malaise, THEFT, and malicious damage to 'the biggest jetty in the valley' by the low water levels. Did I mention theft?
On the bright side though, it's over now, the jetty is almost back to normal, the boat can be repaired(and thank goodness noone was hurt) and we're busy!! According to Jason, if I divide the bad by three, I'll get the number of good things to come???? By my calculations, I'm due at least three:
1. Win the Lotto
2. Marry a Super-model
3. 10+kg tiger!!! Yeah!
You'll no doubt have noticed that Willy has been absent too. Probably just as well. Dealing with his nonsense would've just exacerbated the general mood in camp. But I'll jump on him this week to give us something really special to make up for his laziness.
The change in season has also brought some nasty, Nasty luck with the Tiger. Effzett's and Rapala's are out and even bait(can you believe I've resorted to it) is producing rather feeble pickups. But I'm optimistic that once we get into winter we'll start producing some trophy stuff. Afterall, winter is my favourite time to fish, even if it means having to come off the water almost an hour earlier.
Lookout for these forthcoming attractions in the coming week:
All the pics I can dig up from the April madness, a recce trip up the Leopard's Hill 'shortcut' to Lusaka on wednesday(Two Landcruisers, Iron Mike and the unknown...gotta be fun!!), the return of 'Super-Changwe' to finish off the jetty and as always, the long awaited return of Intrepid Reporter William Wallitoompa.

Keepin on!!!.....;))The Commodore

Xterra-rists

2007-04-11T09:39:00.000+02:00

Given the lack of truculent hippos and magically appearing sandbanks down here in the Cape we have to find other ways to get our kicks - like rushing about the mountains after work on a bike. Unfortunately the long summer seems to be drawing to a close down here and while the vineyards might look great turning all red and orange, the sun is starting to go down a lot earlier. This means one of two things: leaving work earlier to go riding (not really the responsible thing to do) or getting more gear like lights (the biking thing to do - there's a piece of additional gear for EVERYTHING!) So as if cycling kit wasn't steamy enough already now we can bring on and additional element - little flashing lights! Woohoo! I'm more and more convinced that cycling kit is used and designed by people who were disappointed to miss out on the 70s disco scene but have cunningly found a way to wear tight bright clothing without getting beaten up, the same thing applies to golfers who are really just people looking for an excuse to wear sleeveless Argyle jerseys - even if it says Pringle it's still crap!!

Anyway, style issues aside, the reason for post work training? Well, some time ago I got the strange idea into my head that participating in triathlons seemed like a good idea, so Saturday sees my first foray into the world of team endurance events (I'm not quite brave enough to do it all alone yet...there's running involved). So I managed to persuade Bourquin that swimming 1.5 km in a cold dam in Grabouw would be fun, we found a runner for the 12 km trail run and I'm doing the 30 km cycle leg. I thought I had a good deal until I read the route description yesterday:

"...Grabouw offers a variety of challenging terrain from good (if somewhat loose) surfaced fire road, a choice of sandy, rocky or gravelled jeep track, single track climbing, single track descending, pine trees and fynbos to hike-a-bike (yes, you may have that thrown at you) and drop-offs, short steep power climbs to long, teeth gritting and praying it will end soon type climbs! The task I set myself each year is to produce a world class Xterra route that encompasses many if not all of the above challenges. This year sees the Xterra athlete racing along some fire road, as much single track as I can build and clear – both ascending and descending, jeep track and there is one section that most if not all Xterra athletes will have to get off and carry/push their bikes! So the mini challenge is “Can you do it without getting off your bike?” "

So now I'm not too sure... I don't need any extra "mini challenges" all the rest sounded quite enough to me! Then when I took my bike in to get a new back tire, I mentioned the Xterra to the bike-shop man who immediately said that he'd check my brakes too as I'd "definitely be needing those". Should I be more concerned? But at least it's during the day, so I won't have to worry about lights...

Anyway, it should be fun - the first outing for Team Sierra.Foxtrot.Tango - if you need an explanation, "Eeeeeeh, Sorry for that!" I'll post some results maybe some photos of Bourquin (Callsign "Tango") in his Speedo on Monday - don't say I didn't warn you!!

Show me the bunny

2007-04-06T12:02:00.000+02:00

Happy Easter everyone!

Stellies is as dead as, well, a really dead thing. There would be tumbleweeds rolling down the main street except for the fact that they are probably airborne moving, at 60 knots and posing a danger to those foolish enough to still be here. That's right, the South Easter is blowing HARD. Just in time for my next scheduled kitiong lesson. That may sound like a good thing, but I'm not so sure. Last week, I had to cancel due to the Ocean looking something like a very large duckpond and it looks like this week I'll have trouble just staying on the beach. Oh well... maybe the saying is true - be careful what you wish for, you may just get it. Anyway, if something exciting does happen I'll be sure to let y'all know. Otherwise it's off to Kommetjie this weekend, for some relaxation time, maybe a cycle round the peninsula and some kiteflying at Noordhoek, if the wind lets up just a bit. I hope the bunny is good to everyone...

''Qui a Laisser les Chiens á échaper??''.....Again!!!

2007-04-03T09:24:00.000+02:00

All is quiet on the home front. But it's merely the calm before the storm that is the upcoming Easter weekend!! The Baha Men will be out in force. A resounding chorus that will be audible around every corner along a 40km stretch of the river. Boats on the water till nine at night and a general abundance of stupid drunk fisherman on every sandbar and in front of the lodge. Of all the weekends in the year, Easter is perhaps the one I look forward to the least. The Dogs Are Out and they're headed this way!! At least the fishing isn't too bad. Got a nice little 7lber at the Baya Baya slipway the other day. Decided that i don't even need a boat to fish anymore. Could just as easily reverse the cruiser into the water at the slipway and just fish from there seeing as it's the only place we're catching at the moment.

This week has also brought a rather unseasonal period of rainy weather. Somewhat annoying as my newly graded roaded is now pock marked with hippo spoor again. It didn't even last a week!! But the rain has rejuvinated my lawns which were taking a bit of strain in the heat we've been having.

William WaliT also popped in briefly this morning to drop something off before he shot off to go buy Salaula at the Banana Farm market with the rest of the staff.

Happy Easter....;))The Commodore

Two grannies battered over girl’s death

By Times Reporter

TWO elderly women are battling for life in Solwezi General Hospital after an irate mob from Sichisengo village descended on them on suspicion that they bewitched a girl to death.North-Western Province police chief Innocent Kalebwe named the duo as Mika Nyamalia 70, and Chiyezhi Nayakasule 65, both of Sichisengo village in Chief Kapijimpanga’s area. They were suspected of having bewitched Alice Sakashenda, a grade 11 pupil. The incident happened on Tuesday.Mr Kalebwe said the two women were only saved from the mob after police went in and quelled the situation.“Quick action by the police saved their lives as the angry mob did not want to spare their lives,” he said.Mr Kalebwe however said police would continue to investigate after the two recovered.He said trouble started when the relatives of Sakashenda took her body to the place where the two women lived and told them to have the body as that was what they wanted.“When the girl died, her relatives took the body to the house of the women and told them to eat her saying that was what they wanted” Mr Kalebwe said.He said when the other villagers heard about the death, they all assembled at the house and descended on the women.

'Escarpment-al!!'

2007-03-27T23:11:00.000+02:00

Certain things scare certain people!! Bugs for example. They don't scare me, yet others are terrified of them. But there is one thing that I reckon could scare anyone. The road we drive from Lusaka to the lodge will oneday be a thing of legend. Take today for instance, having done what we consider to be the bad section and reached the valley floor, I came round a corner and was confronted by two trucks side-by-side coming towards me. The delightful thing about it is that the truck casually flashed his lights and expected me to hit the dirt at 110kph??? Thankfully, the one thing a cruiser does well though is just that!!....Two gears, a whole lotta brakes and a few deep breaths and 'oh my God's' from Ella later, we were cruising the gravel shoulder and comfortable enough to present the passing offender with the big middle finger out the window. Nothing like a spot of mid-afternoon adrenalin to remind you, you're still alive!!
Not really the right time to admit it but we also managed a new personal best of 2hrs23mins from town to the lodge. Beating the previous record of 2hrs24mins set by the 'blue-bomber' way back in 2005. We even had some time to stop and take some sunset pics on the way!! But the new record is bittersweet if we consider the fact that we now have the new pontoon and the roadworks have made it some 4kms from the driveway. I reckon an early morning run(without water/photo stops) in about two months time could shave another 10-15mins from that. All it really takes is clear road. There's no need for mental driving. Not on that Road!!!

Willy WaliT, as was to be expected, was absent from work aswell. He made some excuse about being on assignment. But we all know that if you don't watch him like a hawk he'll take any chance he can to schive. But I dragged him in by his ear and managed to get another superb piece from him.

Arrive Alive....The Commodore;))

Ndola farmer, 26, tells court ‘evil’ whirlwind killed his granny

By Times Reporter

A PEASANT farmer appearing for defence in a manslaughter case in the Ndola High Court yesterday said a whirlwind with evil spirits caused the death of his grandfather.
Before Justice Muyinda Wanki was Julius Sibanda Masoja, 26, of Masaiti district, who was accused of killing his grandfather he was staying with.
It was alleged that on October 22, 2002, in Masaiti, Masoja murdered Petro Mwelemuka, his grandfather, by beating him with a bamboo stick and a stone.
In his evidence, Masoja said before his grandfather died, he said something bad was going to happen in the village and that he was going to die because he had killed a lot of people.
He said after some time, his friend, only known as Sam died and when he informed the grandfather, he answered him that he did not care.
Masoja said he afterwards saw a whirlwind which blew his grandfather a few metres high and threw him to the ground.
He rushed there and noticed that the body of his grandfather was swollen.
He also said his relatives used to tell him that his grandfather was a wizard.
In cross examination, State advocate Mwape Bowa questioned why two State witnesses who were his relatives said they saw him beating and dragging his grandfather to his friend’s funeral house.
Masoja answered that they were jealous of him because he was comfortable.
In making submissions, the defence lawyer applied that the court should not find him guilty because the prosecution had failed to prove its case and that the evidence from one witness and that from the arresting officer was contradictory.
In reply, Mr Bowa said that having observed the credibility and the demeanor of all witnesses, there was no contradiction in the evidence. He said the State proved its case beyond reasonable doubt and asked the court to convict him accordingly.The matter was adjourned to January 6, next year for judgment.

The Wiseman Built His House Upon The Rocks!!!

2007-03-26T09:08:00.000+02:00

We're two thirds of the way through the jetty and 'Super-Changwe' is going to take a break for the week. Regular breaks are necessary for the Super-Carpenter cos his furious pace puts immense strain on his super-powers and he becomes 'powerless' after about two weeks if he is not given time to eat spinach and recharge. But it's looking good I think.

Definitely a big difference from what it was like two weeks ago

The weekend also brought with it some interesting times with the rising 'floodwaters' around chalet number four. A broken water pipe meant that I got to spend Saturday morning splashing in the mud around the soak away, replacing valves and fittings. Great fun!!
But the weekend was saved by an awesome trip some 26km down the river yesterday afternoon where although the fishing was really bad, we did bump into some awesome elephants. It looks like Sunday is washing day for the jumbos. Out of four different herds we bumped into along the way, three groups were splashing about in the water having a merry old time. The best being three big bulls who weren't so much bothered by us as they were with having a big game with each other. We got a few good pics but if we'd had a better camera we probably could have got some really special ones. It was pretty awesome though to be so close to them and just watch them playing the fool.

The Wonder Years!!

2007-03-23T10:32:00.000+02:00

It's been a long week!! But it's almost done and it's been dead fun. The first camp for the season is behind us and all seems to have gone off smoothly with little or no trouble at all. Although I must say, if OMO says stains have got tougher, I say kids have just got wimpier!! I've never seen so many injuries, illnesses and trips into the first-aid box as I did this week. There is an answer to it though. The kids were being babied by the teachers. When we were that age, if we'd made some of the complaints we heard this week, we'd have been told to shutup and go back outside!! But by the end of the week, the wimps that arrived on Monday were tough as nails and ready for more.....which concerned me cos the bus didn't arrive to take them away till this morning. Not sure how keen I would have been to have them for another day if there'd been a problem with the bus.

The week brought some interesting stuff with it, a nice little mopane snake kept the kids entertained for a good while and the lightning storm and wind mid-week, scared the pants off some of them. I'll admit I was relieved when we didn't get any of the rain that was falling across the river. Can't imagine what the kids would've done if the roofs had started leaking. But the storm did give me a chance to try something new with the 'Madams' camera. Didn't quite get the focus right, but the idea was there.

All in all though, a good time was had by all and bar the castor oil beetles, it went off swimmingly. Some of them even managed to get some impressive little Tigerfish in the boat, the most notable being Blaide's 4kg beast. Hardly surprising that he managed to get it in the boat, he was like a tasmanian devil-'small but fierce' and damn he could fit a pile of food into that 4ft frame. Never seen someone that size eat so much!!!

The Jetty is also almost done!! We've got the deck on, stained and varnished. It looks even better than I thought it would. I'll put the pics of it on tomorrow. Just got the railings and upright to do next week and then we'll add the lights and stuff after that.

Got a visit from William WalliT today who stayed away on Tuesday cos he doesn't like kids. He dropped off these two little Gems from the Times back in 2002!Definitely going to enjoy a D.Cap mog on the river today and the silence is a welcome addition to my day.

Enjoy it......;))The Commodore

Spitting Cobra found in Chipata guest house

A MYSTERIOUS snake was on Saturday found in one of the rooms at Pingurani rest house near Kapata bus station in Chipata.
Both workers and officers at Kapata police post confirmed the incident which happened around 11:00 hours to ZIS in Chipata.
A two -metre long spitting cobra is believed to have been left behind by two Malawian youths who are traditional healers after checking out of the room as they left for Lusaka.
One of the workers, Naomi Mwanza, said she found the reptile which was packed in a ten kilogramme sack under the bed as she was sweeping the room.
Later, police retrieved it and before it could be removed from the sack, officers said the living thing allegedly looked like an animal.
One of the police officers fired about five gun shots at it but the snake could not die until a courageous youth hit it with a big stone to completely shatter its head.
The workers wondered whether the two traditional healers who stayed at the rest house for three days before they left for Lusaka, could have accidentally left the snake in the room or it was deliberately left behind.
Traditional healers, some of them not registered and usually coming from neighbouring Malawi, have filled most streets in Chipata where they conduct their business.--Zana/ZIS

Suspected wizard slain

A MAN was recently axed to death in Chozi area in Mbala by three men who suspected him to be a wizard.Chozi ward councillor Aaron Sichivula told ZIS that the man was killed by three men while he was working at his chitemene garden.The incident happened early this month and the three have since been arrested.Meanwhile Mr Sichivula has appealed to the Ministry of Home Affairs to open up a police post in Chozi area.He said murder cases in the area had increased. ZIS

'Nyama!!'

2007-03-18T11:50:00.000+02:00

It's been an interesting week on the Wildlife front for the Lower Zambezi. At the moment it's 'Quelea' season, so the locals spend their time travelling from island to island, rummaging through the reeds, raiding nests for chicks. Just last week, there was a woman killed by an elephant on one of the islands near Nyakasanga. It's hardly surprising considering the fact that i heard this morning that they were in fact burning the island. Something I don't think an elephant would appreciate??
This morning brought news of another attack. Mr Jackson Zindoga arrived to 'request assistance' to go and search for the body of a fisherman who drowned 0n Friday when his canoe was overturned by a Hippo. Why they wait two days before coming to ask for help I have no idea? Especially considering that in those two days, the body could be anywhere between where it happened to 50km down-stream. So, No!! I am not spending my Sunday traipsing up and down the Zambezi looking for a floating body.The sad thing about all of these attacks is that besides the fact that they could have easily been avoided and the animals are in no way at fault, they will still be shot! And not because they are so-called 'man-eaters' or 'demonic-creatures'. They'll be shot because of their meat.

The neighbour has a similar problem. Baboons are trashing his bananas and regardless of how many times he tells the authorities, they do nothing. But let him tell them that there is a hippo in his plantations and they'll be there in a flash to 'crop the beast'. Or let him take matters into his own hands with the baboons and they'll arrest him for poaching. Go figure?

Still on the subject of all things wild, lunch time snoozes will never be the same after Friday. I don't think there is any ruder awakening than a 3ft lizard crashing around your room. The pesky thing came right in through my door and then got a fright when I sat up. In all the panic he managed to get himself up on my desk in an attempt to push his way through the gauze on my window. But we eventually managed to show him the door and everyone escaped unscathed.

The evenings have been just as interesting with the return of the castor-oil beetles which have forced us to retreat to the kitchen for dinner. The Gerbils have also been up to their usual tricks in 'Mukuyu' but they haven't got bold enough to attempt another toothbrush heist yet.

Quite keen to hit the river this afternoon for a spot of afternoon fishing and maybe we'll get a bit of a sunset now that the rains seem to be coming to an end. It better be good cos I've got to do the outdoor education thing for the week so won't get any time on the water till at least Friday.

Who said life down here's boring??.....;)) The Commodore

'Decked out!!'

2007-03-15T15:16:00.000+02:00

So we're coming along with it, albeit it slowly. But hopefully by tomorrow afternoon we'll have it all on and then we can start taking it all off again for staining, PVAing and then varnishing. We've then also got to drill and bolt all fourteen palettes to the frame. That'll be interesting!! But so far I'm well impressed and I'm getting more excited with every pallette that goes on. It's going to look awesome.

We've also come across some really amusing 'zambianisms' over the last few days. The first, didn't really register until about ten minutes after I heard it but as it turns out, still gives me a good laugh now. It was at the pontoon on Monday, awaiting the arrival of 'Super-Changwe' when I was confronted by a local fisherman whose exact words to me were:

'Bwana, I'm very sorry to interupt your thought process, but do you have a vacancy for me? I am a boat driver and very good in fishing competition'.

Hahaha!! Thought process????

The second I've heard before and seems to be a popular pickup line with zambian men. I left Ella reading in the car yesterday while I was busy in a shop. Keith, the dodgy porn DvD hawker, saw this as an ideal opportunity to tell her that he was very much in awe of her and that she was as he put it,

'Mmm, My size!!'

and that he wished to marry her.

If anyone can tell me what on earth 'my size' means when used by a zambian, it would solve a great mystery of the zambian male and his methods of 'proposing love' to a woman....
Meanwhile, in other news, the river is finally clean and although the sun is not really out, I might drop 'Simply Wild' in the water later this afternoon and head down-river in search of a Tigerfish that is 'mmm, my size!!', especially since I have figured out how to turn off the pesky alarm light for the oil tank that I don't even have.

Final thought....always read the documents....The Commodore;))

'Bombasa'!!!

2007-03-13T08:23:00.000+02:00

'Super-Changwe' has arrived and spirits are high!! Today we start the decking on the jetty, so all things going to plan, we should finish it and be ready for the big party by the time my first school for the season leaves next friday.
I was a bit concerned yesterday though when the 'kapenta' kept phoning me from Chirundu in a state, telling me he was not happy. What on earth that meant I have no idea? But i think his problem was that the taxi to the pontoon was taking longer to leave than expected and he was terrified that I would get cross with him and just leave him there. You couldn't have seen a bigger grin on a circus clown than the one he was wearing when he arrived and saw me waiting on the boat.

Tuesday!!! And Intrepid Willy WalliT is once again here to brighten our week by regaling us with another magnificent tale of treachery. I thought we’d have this one just as a break from the satanic animals that have appeared previously….
Willy WalliT;)

Witchcraft allegations force two teachers to flee

TWO senior teachers in Mwinilunga in the North Western Province have taken refuge at the district education offices for fear of being lynched by angry villagers surrounding their respective schools for allegedly practicing witchcraft.One of the head teachers of Ikelenge escaped from his school fearing for his life after local people surrounded the school accusing him of allegedly having sex with other peoples’ wives using black magic.This was disclosed by Mwinilunga district administrator John Chidata when he presented a report during the provincial development coordinating committee (PDCC) held over the weekend at Changa Changa Motel in Solwezi.Mr Chidata further said that the local people in chief Ikelenge’s area had vowed to lynch the head teacher if he returned to the school.He said that when the head teacher was within the Ikelenge community local women used to sleep with more than five pieces of underwear including “bombasa” (tight-fitting trunks) to protect themselves from black magic sex by the said head teacher whom it was alleged had no courage to propose love to women.Mr Chidata further disclosed that the head teacher was first chased from a school in senior chief Kanongesha’s area over the same allegations.The PDCC members recommended retirement for the head teachers to save the local people from contracting HIV/AIDS since the Ikelenge head teachers allegedly had sex with other people’s wives without using condoms.

Psychobossie? Not really...

2007-03-12T09:26:00.000+02:00

So I can sit back and relax this morning with the satisfaction of having my first Cape Argus Cycle Tour behind me... not to mention the fact that I can sit this morning! All in all I was very pleased with my result, my final time was 4hrs 20'' 20'. According to the website that placed me 16118/28706 overall and 89th out of the 565 cyclists in my group. Not too bad for a first time I think, and about 20 minutes below my expected time.

Everything started rather slowly, with a lot of waiting involved in actually getting to the start - especially as I was in the absolutely last group. I have never seen quite so many bicycles in one place before and could never have imagined that bikes (and cyclists for that matter) came in such a variety of shapes, sizes, colours and forms! The first few kilometers were a bit congested, especially up the hills and there was quite a bit of dodging involved in overtaking - not too mention avoiding some of the other cyclists who didn't always hold their lines quite as well as they should, but things opened up quite well after a while and I got into quite a nice bus of cyclists going down the M3 to Muizenberg, so we really whipped through that section. After Muizenberg things broke up again and it was back to weaving through the traffic.

All the way through the race though there's a really good vibe amongst the cyclists and the spectators, with a healthy dose of good natured heckling, encouragement and 'advice' - like the guys who stole the '100kms to go' marker and then set it up next to their spot at the the bottom of the Smitswinkel climb (which is really about 65kms to go).

So the first half was pretty easy, but what of the infamous Chapman's Peak and Suikerbossie? Well, they actually weren't that daunting, although Chapman's does have an awful lot of false summits and does look a bit scary when you come around the corner after Little Chapmans to see the rest of it soaring above you... there were quite a few walkers by that stage. The 4km of sweeping downhill into Hout Bay does make the big climb worthwhile though.

The exit from Hout Bay did see my first sign of cramp, although fortunately it happened just as I was passing an Arnica massage tent, so all I had to do was pull over and say 'Cramp!' and two lovely yellow clad massage girls immediately set to work with the Arnica oil. What fantastic organisation! So back in action, I hit the dreaded Suikerbossie, which wasn't really all that after which it was all downhill through Camps Bay, and Greenpoint and onto the last flat before the finish. The Arnica treatment wore off about 2kms from the finish, but by that stage I just decided to push on through, and ignore it. And then it was over. Just under 4 1/2 hours on a bike, and actually a really awesome day.

Next year? I'm definitely keen to do it again, and get my time under 4hrs. If I get myself organised, you may see some steamy Wildchaps cycling gear too - that'll get the knees trembling! For the moment though I'm planning on getting back onto the knobblies and off road again for a while though as the next really big events lined up are Karoo to Coast in September (100km offroad from Uniondale to Knysna) the bike section of the Triple Challenge in KZN in November. But I may just take it easy for the next couple of days...

Please Ensure seatbacks are upright and tray-tables stowed for Take-off!!!

2007-03-10T17:00:00.000+02:00

You have to admit that even when tied up to the bank it is an elegant piece of machinery!!

But today we got the idea to shoot something special. We decided, out of boredom really(cos the river is dirtier than ever), to get some pics of what a boat that's going 83kph on the Zambezi looks like. I'm not sure what exactly the boat tops out at, because when you're going that speed all you do is ''hou vas'' and hope that you see the dangerous flotsam far enough away to skid off to one side, but when I did get to look down I think it said 84.6kph on the GPS. Damn, it's fun when you trim it all the way up and the nose pops up to tell you that the only thing in the water is that mighty peice of stainless steel that's pushing you along at 5400rpm.

So now you've seen it. 'Simply Wild' in all her glory. I've clocked up about 7 and a half hours on the engine now, so on the next trip to town I'll get the right prop for the job. At the moment it's a little bit too much and doesn't have the hole shot I'm really looking for, especially when loaded. I'll probably drop the prop back to a 19/20pitch which'll help with the pickup but it'll lose me a bit on the top-end. But I'd rather have a boat that has a good allround performance than something that goes like a bat out of hell but can't get on the plain with more than two poeple onboard. Also now got to start thinking about the trolling motor and of course the sound. You can't go winding it up and down the Zambezi without the company of the Baha Men and 'Who Let the dogs Out?' now can you!!

Time for a D.Cap.mog and the sunset on the river......The Commodore;))

''Soopa-Blickie!!!''

2007-03-09T11:00:00.000+02:00

The woes of the wet weather continue!! After another downpour last night, it's been all fun and games this morning with the 'jetty men' who clearly think that they're invincible!!
Having told them that it wasn't a good idea to leave this morning, the driver, who is about 108yrs old, thought he knew better and rounded up his mates and set off down the road. All the pics were taken not 250m down the road where they soon discovered that maybe the 'musungu' wasn't talking crap and that maybe the other day he stalled the offloading for so long because he knew that the road is like an ice-rink for about five hours after a rainfall. I don't even think that the best 4x4xMassia Figson could have done the trick this morning. Besides, I think the neighbour has had enough of the antics over the last three days as he told his supervisor that under no circumstances should he allow any of 'jetty men' to even think about coming and asking for help pulling the truck.
Haha!! we even almost managed to get the cruiser stuck and that's saying something. But I'll attribute that to the fact that 'The Man with the hands' bricklayer aka 'Soopa-Blickie'(see pic with guy wih enormous hands single-handedly pushing an eight tonne truck) kept breaking branches off trees and putting them in the road for traction. One such branch then lodged itself between my axle and hand-brake cable bringing a halt to proceedings in a rather sticky patch of clay. Thank goodness for Difflock!!
The morning show culminated in the truck driver's great skill in almost totalling the new gate!! Luckily some sandbags and stone were at hand to regain traction and get them round the gate with only millimetres to spare. But they're out now and determined to get back to Lusaka today. Good Riddance I say. As do my staff! Manson put it perfectly this morning when he said to me with an enormous grin on his face, ''Bwana, these people from town, they think they are very smart!''
We've warned them of a particularly sticky patch just up on the main road which they WILL get stuck in without any winching points nearby. But, they're still going to try. I have also given them strict instructions NOT to call me. If you want to do stupid things, do it in your own time!!!
On a lighter note, we've managed to get the jetty into it's final position this morning with relatively little effort and I've decided that it's going to look smashing once we get all the timber on it. The neighbours agree that seeing as it's got more floor space than some of the chalets in the lodge it's only fitting that we have a 'jetty wetting' when it's all done.

Look out for more fun&Games soon....got a vehicle that needs to get in this afternoon???...;))

I Command you to Let Loose...The Last of the Titans!!!

2007-03-08T17:18:00.000+02:00

Right! For all of you who think that all we do here is sit around sipping D. Cap Mogs waiting for the right time of day to throw a line, you're sorely mistaken. The arrival of 'the biggest jetty in the valley' has seen some adventurous times for the wildtracks staff and I. And with some assistance from the neighbour and his generosity and patience in allowing us to tear out his gate to get the behemoth in the water, we have assembled, launched and floated the thing down to its new home on the river. It's fitting that such a mammoth achievement in engineering should find its home on the banks of the mighty Zambezi.

Tomorrow we'll try set it into it's final position. Barring no interuptions from Nyaminyami who threatened the noon's procedings with some omninous cloud cover, we will be able to start the decking on Monday when 'Super-Changwe' the carpenter arrives. On completion we should have approximately 45sq.m of deck space and enough mooring space for all the boats and then some. Still got a good long way to go with it but when it's all done it should be not only the 'biggest' but also 'the best'.

We've struck on hard times lately with the fishing. Some rather late torrential rain has managed to keep the river a very unattractive chocolate brown. It'll be a good few days before I get the chance to pull a decent one onto the deck. Won't be long though. And the arrival of the jetty and the whale of a time I've been having seeing just how wild 'Simply Wild' really is has kept my mind off the dirty water.
More pics will follow as the jetty takes shape and 'Simply Wild' lives up to her name......The Commodore;))