tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8904390012832098732024-09-05T08:00:12.014-07:00My Sanity ..Is Herehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04330937782299367090noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-890439001283209873.post-34111673902477816762010-01-22T00:48:00.000-08:002010-01-22T01:09:48.971-08:00<span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Hi, well here it is thursday night almost 1 am and i am online searching for jobs yet again,i saw my therapist today AGAIN actually saw his yesterday also. i know its been a bad week when i have seen him 2 times in 1 week.. i had stopped going to him for about 6 weeks during the holidays cause so many things were going on with me that i felt kinda bad telling him how bad things were.i have seen him on and off for 5 years now since my divorce and i felt bad for him that he would have to listen to me tell him i had made some bad choices in my life so i stopped going ( bigg mistake) i fell deeper into depression over those 6 weeks and i am going to rty to see him more regular again , i do feel sooo much better after we talk , i am still jobless and facing eviction but regardless it been a goos step to go back to him, tomorrow my power bill is needing to be paid and well no money so in all likeliness i will be shut off come early next week. i have been on a payment plan with them , a two payment plan , i mad the first one but cant make the 2nd , at which time i will get a 48 hour termination letter joy more good news huh,i really wish i could have something really great to say but i feel consumed with bills , no job and my kids who i am scared to death will be living in a motel with me ,and that would be just great for my ex to find that out , which would not take long as i have to keep him informed on my whereabouts so he can send my alimony payments.. well what else can i say , i kinda like this blog thing even if i am the only one who reads it well it feels good to get it all out , and if anyone feels better after reading my crazy life well that is a added bonus, i know i am not the only single mom out there and i hope by sharing that other moms can know they are not alone as well=) tonight an old friend offered to set me and the kids up in a pay by the weekly if i can not get rental help or church help or family help , and the verry sad part is , the family help is the last on my list, they all know i am jobless and that i will be evicted soon but still no one shows their face or calls or freekin nada..i grew up in a very close family but as i got older i wondered if i was lost and wound up with this family by accident.. of course i did not, but at times i wish suddenly a loving family would appear and say hey we are here for you and you are adopted,, sad but true......let me tell you about my kids a little , 2 boys 2 girls,, 2 oldest out of the house living there own lives, 2 youngest with me still 1 in elementary 1 in middle school..good kids all of them my oldest daughter well has had a veryyy difficult life strugglin with her own inner demons but all in all she is a good girl and i love her..well i guess i am done complaining for tonight i have laundry to finish and a movie i hope to watch and have to get up in 6 hours dang...i want to end this depressing post with at least 1 good thing that happened to me today and that was my oldest son is starting to learn to have empathy more with me.. i had him veryy young so him and i are more like friends but he is finally starting to see me as mom first friend 2nd and that is a great thing=) good night<br /></span></span></span></span>My Sanity ..Is Herehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04330937782299367090noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-890439001283209873.post-74972569009351507852010-01-21T01:33:00.000-08:002010-01-21T02:28:41.965-08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm99sjNbAj-KUUV3CO3fCWltadExkh_g25f5KEtgaDXu56ar1chuUS4nLfBGhkHLhP_l6i-3PZS2Qa-7hn0JaCkhVS-ho891k349yoaxAeY2lROgkkCN11GuU5StX7UbisqfIwGIxBktTk/s1600-h/n8655621413_2055684_244.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm99sjNbAj-KUUV3CO3fCWltadExkh_g25f5KEtgaDXu56ar1chuUS4nLfBGhkHLhP_l6i-3PZS2Qa-7hn0JaCkhVS-ho891k349yoaxAeY2lROgkkCN11GuU5StX7UbisqfIwGIxBktTk/s320/n8655621413_2055684_244.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429120025041487666" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">Ok well i have no idea what i am doing as i have never blogged a day in my life, i honestly have been thinking about anonymous blogging as something i have really wanted to try out for a long while now! as you can see from this photo i love The L Word</span> ,<span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">oh and i am bi we can start with that , this revelation has only come to me late in life and i say better late then never =) i have a lot of kids, ok well not a lot just 4 and they make my world go round every day.</span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">it is about 2 am and i sit here on my laptop and look for work as i lost my job 2 weeks ago suddenly out of the blue and i am facing eviction veryyy soon,i have never been in this position <span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 51);">and to be very honest i am scared to death of it happening!! with 2 small kids and a dog i find myself not sleeping and eating wayyy to much with worry this is another reason i wanted to blog just to get my thoughts out and i feel better already sharing if even with myself,,well time to eat a few cookies ugh and try to get 4 hours sleep....goodnight (i just had a last thought i wonder if this puts me on the list of being crazy blogging anonymously </span>at 2 am , damn more to worry about) lol....</span><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"><br /></span>My Sanity ..Is Herehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04330937782299367090noreply@blogger.com0