Rev. Steve

George Takei Will Help You Come Out For the Holidays (video)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 17:12:00 +0000

Coming out to your family is always difficult, especially during the holidays. Conan O'Brien's sidekick, Andy Richter is offering to help you out this Christmas by coming to your home and outing you to your family, for just $99.95. For just $1.99 extra, uber-gay George Takei will personally welcome you to the world of gay. If anyone gives you shit, Takei promises to come back and fuck their shit up!

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We Got Hitched!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 18:48:00 +0000

Well, gays and gals, we finally did it. As I wrote previously, Paul and I decided to head to DC and get gay married. With just three weeks to get it all organized and the much-appreciated help of family and friends, we pulled it off on Friday, the 14th in the city where I once lived, attended my first Pride at age 18, and marched in the streets on so many occasions for over the last three decades.

It was a whirlwind of a weekend that, in many ways, mirrored the the weekend we first met.

Was it love at first sight? Well it was something like that. I've always said, "when you don't have a plan, you better have good timing." We were both at the right place in our lives and the timing was just right. Suffice to say, that when I first laid eyes on Paul, I knew that his was the face I wanted to wake up to every morning.

Our first date lasted all weekend, culminating on my 40th birthday. Fast forward 13 years, three moves, 11 ducks, three cats, trips to L.A., NYC, DC, Florida and Paris (twice), uncountable ups and downs later and we decided it was time to make it legal in nine states and the district.

It was actually the Marriage Equality victories in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington State this year that got us thinking seriously about jumping the broom. We made the announcement to my family at my niece's wedding in November. With only a few weeks to plan, it was amazing how quickly everything came together with the help of family and friends. Thank you all for your support.

Our dear friend, blogger and activist Bil Browning performed a beautiful, simple ceremony in a park at Judiciary Square next to the Courthouse. After filing the license at the courthouse, we attended a gathering of family at my nephew Andrew's condo near Logan Circle, where we were greeted by such an outpouring of love and acceptance. What an amazing afternoon.

Bil wrote a piece about it at The Bilerico Project, where he quoted my father, who said, "I never thought I'd see the day that Steve got married. Times have really changed and I'm so glad I've lived long enough to be here for today. My son got married and just a few years ago I'd have said that would be an impossibility."

It wasn't just a celebration of our wedding. It was a day of healing as my family welcomed their prodigal back into the fold, for which I am so grateful.

I have to admit that over the years, I got so caught up in the fight for equality that it became more about the fight, than my own relationship with Paul. To those who say "it's just a piece of paper", I say, you are so wrong. Marriage makes a difference. It's not just about sharing in the over 1,100 legal rights and responsibilities that straight folks are entitled to. It's about love. I have never loved my husband Paul more than I do now and that makes all the difference.

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When Marriage Equality Becomes Personal: Off the Bench and into the Game

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 21:18:00 +0000

As I sit here at my computer, sipping my morning coffee, one week away from my wedding day, I am listening to CNN's Jeffery Toobin speculate on whether or not the US Supreme Court will decide today to take up two legal challenges to bans on marriage equality: The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and the challenge to California's Prop 8. Both have been found by lower courts to violate the Equal Protection clause of the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

Toobin explains the difference between the two laws. DOMA, the 1996 legislation signed into law by President Bill Clinton, bans federal recognition of legal same sex marriage and leaves it up to individual states to decide whether or not to recognize those marriages performed in other states.

Even if the Supremes overturn DOMA, it won't make marriage equality legal, but it will force the federal government to treat gay and lesbian couples equally to opposite-married couples. If they choose not to take the case, then the law can only be overturned legislatively by congress.

With the Prop 8 challenge, if the high court declines to hear the case, marriage equality immediately becomes legal again in California. Should they decide to hear the case, we hold our collective breath and wait for several more months. A victory overturns constitutional bans in all 50 states and we all win. A defeat maintains the status quo and we continue to slog it out, state by state, until all of us are treated equally under the law.

I've written about these and other marriage equality fights for several years. I've marched on Washington several times, organized rallies and protests for equality, attended Pride in different cities for over three decades and discussed the issues with family and friends all in an ongoing effort to educate and open hearts and minds. Thousands of LGBT activists, bloggers and ordinary people have done the same, each one contributing what they can to fight for equal rights.

As with any minority group struggling for equal treatment, the fight becomes the focus, while the goal seems increasingly elusive the longer the fight goes on. But now, as I work out the final details of our wedding next Friday, I am struck by how surreal it all feels to be off the sidelines and in the game.

Paul and I are from the generation that came out at a time when marriage wasn't even a consideration for gays and lesbians. Coming out, for us, meant, trying not to be seen going to gay bars, avoiding police harassment, accepting the reality of who we are, living honestly and openly as gay men and the cold, hard fact that certain milestones of life, like marriage and starting a family, were no longer options. We each, separately, got on with life, had relationships, created lives of our own, attended weddings of friends and family, all the while, watching from the sidelines.

Then we met and the connection was immediate. I knew at that moment that his was the face I wanted to wake up to every morning. When we finally moved in together after nearly a year, he got down on one knee and proposed, holding out a ring that didn't cost much and had one of its rainbow-colored stones missing. I accepted, happily, knowing all they while that in Virginia - in 2001 - the prospect of an actual wedding was a long way off.

Fast forward thirteen years and several several marriage equality victories later and it's all about to become a reality.

I find myself planning a small ceremony in Washington, DC on the rooftop deck at my nephew's condo. So many family members and friends are pitching in to make this happen. It's a seven hour drive to DC, so getting this put together has been a challenge. A big thanks goes out to my friends and family in and around DC who have been working to make our wedding day a reality.

It is now well into the afternoon as I have attempted to write this article in fits and starts, having written and deleted several paragraphs that one moment seemed perfect, then the next made no sense at all.

I have so many mixed emotions, it's difficult to express them. One minute I'm thrilled, the next terrified. I reflect on my own family relationships and the relationship I have forged with Paul's family and try to comprehend that when we are married, Paul and I will be merging the two. Up until fairly recently, our family consisted of the two of us, our three cats and the 11 ducks we raised back in Virginia at our little slice of heaven we called Morning Wood Acres.

Our lives are different now here in North Carolina than when we first started out together. After all the ups and downs that are the hallmark of all long-term relationships, we're in a great place in our life together. In many ways, after 13 years nothing will change, but at the same time, everything will change.

The knowledge that in one week we will be legally married, reaping the benefits of our labor and that of so many others is, at times, overwhelming. Next week I will marry my best friend and soul mate and I am both thrilled and terrified, just like every other groom in the history of marriage. If that's not equality, than what is?

Editor's note:
As I finish this piece, Talking Points Memo has posted that the Supreme Court has decided to hear the case of Windsor vs. The United States, which challenges the constitutionality of DOMA.

Via TPM:

Oral arguments will be next spring and a decision is expected by the end of June.

The Court agreed to hear the Windsor v. United States case, which was brought by a lesbian widow. The Second Circuit Court of Appeals invalidated DOMA in a 2-1 decision finding that the federal government did not have a legitimate interest in treating same sex couples differently.

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Wedding News: Bil Browning to Officiate

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:40:00 +0000

Bil, Steve and Jerame. (I just lost 20 lbs. Why do I still look fat?)

That's right, gays and gals, Bil Browning, long time LGBT rights activist and Editor in Chief of The Bilerico Project has agreed to officiate at our ceremony in DC next month.

Paul and I feel so honored. Bil has been great about posting articles I've submitted and has been so supportive of my writing. We finally got to meet here in Charlotte when he and his partner, Jerame Davis, Executive Director of Stonewall Democrats, were in town for the Democratic Convention.

We had a great afternoon of French pastries and conversation at Amelie's that day and laid the foundation for what I hope will be a long friendship.

I can't express how thrilled Paul and I are to finally be getting married after thirteen years together, on our anniversary date and in the city that I will always think of as my home town.

Still so many details to work out. Will post more as things develop.

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Breaking Marriage Equality News: Mine! (with Music by ABBA)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:41:00 +0000

...or more correctly, "ours". After nearly thirteen years together, my hubby Paul and I have decided to make it official and are planning to get gay married in DC next month. We're still working out the details, but one thing is definite, I want this song played at the ceremony. More details to come.

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New Wave Wednesday: Blondie, "One Way or Another" (Music Video)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 16:57:00 +0000

This week's New Wave fave "One Way or Another", by Blondie comes to us from all the way back in 1978. In the pre-MTV era, there was a weekly TV show called "The Midnight Special", that featured live music by the top bands of the era. Given what's become of MTV, it may be time to bring it back.

Via Wikipedia:
Written by Debbie Harry and Nigel Harrison for the band's third studio album, Parallel Lines (1978), the song was inspired by one of Harry's ex-boyfriends who stalked her after their break up.[1] The song was released as a single in the US as the follow-up to "Heart of Glass". "One Way or Another" reached number twenty-four in the Billboard Hot 100. Although never officially released as a single in the United Kingdom and other countries, the song remains one of the group's most popular songs worldwide. Rolling Stone ranked the song #298 on its list of The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.[2]

Supremes Put Off Decision on Prop 8 and DOMA Challenges

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 16:02:00 +0000

Via The Washington Blade:

The U.S. Supreme Court has put off the decision on whether it will consider federal lawsuits challenging the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8.

According to a report issued on Tuesday, justices during their conference on Monday decided to grant writs of certiorari, or take up, six pending cases, but neither the challenge to Proposition 8, known as Hollingsworth v. Perry, nor the one the legal challenges against Section 3 of DOMA, Windsor v. United States, appeared on the list of lawsuits on which decisions were made. It remains to be seen whether the court will take up them up.

Both cases were docketed during the conference on Monday. The conference was the first time justices met to consider which cases they will hear over the course of the term starting this fall.

The next conference for the Supreme Court is set October 5. But according to an email to supporters from the American Foundation for Equal Rights, which is behind the Prop 8 lawsuit, justice meet nearly every week to determine the cases they will take up and the next time a decision could be announced is Monday at 9:30 am. At that time, the court is expected to release a list of cases it won’t hear this term.

If the Justices decide not to hear the Prop 8 case, the decision of The Ninth Circuit Court, which found Prop 8 unconstitutional, will stand and California's gay and lesbian couples will be able to marry immediately.

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Chick Fil A: "We still hate the gays, but it's nothing personal"

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 05:58:00 +0000

Okay, we knew it was too good to be true. Despite what's been reported in the news and on this here blog thingy, Chick Fil A wants to make it clear, that they haven't changed a thing about their corporate giving. And that even though some of the recipients of said corporate giving include anti-gay hate groups that actively work to destroy LGBT families and practice brainwashing to turn gays straight, they don't want to get all political and stuff.

The boycott continues.

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Gay Hollywood Has-been Rubert Everett Clarifies Anti-gay Parenting Remarks, Sticks Other Foot in Mouth

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 17:30:00 +0000

The Two Faces of Rupert Everett

Poor Rupert Everett hasn't worked much since he costarred with Madonna in the 2000 stinker "The Next Best Thing". In the dozen years since, Everett has become a bitter and bitchy old queen, blaming his inability to get a job in Hollywood on his decision to come out. A better explanation might be that his ill-advised nip-tucks have left him virtually unrecognizable from the gorgeous hunk he used to be.

Earlier this week the British actor made headlines for the first time in years for his comments made in an interview published in the Sunday Times where he expressed his views on gays raising children, saying, "I can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads."

Seriously, Rupert? Nothing worse?

Not even kids being raised by drug addicts in neighborhoods where they risk their lives every day just walking to and from school? What about kids whose hetero parents kick them out of the house for being LGBT, leaving them to fend for themselves on the streets? How about the kids who lost one or both parents in the 9/11 attacks or the millions of children in Sub-Saharan Africa who lost their parents to AIDS? Are all these kids better off than if they'd been raised by two loving gay or lesbian parents?

In an effort to smooth over the shit-storm that has brought him more publicity than he's had in over a decade -- and certainly more than he deserves -- the former movie star clarified his remarks on the UK chat show This Morning. "I have lots of gay friends with children," he said. "I have lots of gay friends who have got married, I've been to lots of gay weddings, but I'm not big into marriage straight or gay to be honest."

I am so appalled by this statement, I can hardly find the words. He speaks of gay people as if we are something foreign to him. How many times have you heard straight folks try to prove they're not homophobic by saying virtually the same thing? Substitute the word "gay" with the word "black", "Asian", or "Latino" and roll it around in your head for a minute. Now how does it sound to you?

Rupert Everett is the classic example of the self-loathing, archaic, gay stereotype that belongs on the trash heap of history. The decades of progress we have made in the struggle for self-acceptance, pride and equality seems to have gone unnoticed by Mr. Everett and I truly pity him for having such a joyless life. He'd have been better off had he never come out. Self-hatred is best done in the dark loneliness of the closet, not when being played out on the international stage.

Coming out is about loving yourself, celebrating who you are and standing up for yourself and your community, no matter what others have to say about it. I guess Rupert didn't get the memo.

I am truly glad that he will never have children, because I can't think of anything worse than a child being raised by Rupert Everett.

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New Wave Wednesday: "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On", by Robert Palmer (Music Video)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:50:00 +0000

What can you say about Robert Palmer? In the mid-80's Palmer's smooth, sophisticated, pop-soul, edgy sound dominated the charts with top ten hits like "Addicted to Love", "She's Hyperactive" and today's pick, "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On", which peaked at #2 on the US charts in 1985.

Palmer later form the super group Power Station. Via Wikipedia:

"Duran Duran went on hiatus, and their guitarist Andy Taylor and bassist John Taylor joined former Chic drummer Tony Thompson and Palmer to form Power Station.[2] Their eponymous album, recorded mainly at the New York recording studio for which the band was named, with overdubs and mixing at Compass Point Studios in Nassau, Bahamas, reached the Top 20 in the UK and the Top 10 in the US. It spawned two hit singles with "Some Like It Hot" (US #6) and a cover of the T.Rex song "Get It On (Bang a Gong)", which peaked one position higher than the original at US #9. Palmer performed live with the band only once that year, on Saturday Night Live. The band toured, and played Live Aid, with singer Michael Des Barres after Palmer bowed out at the last moment to go back into the recording studio to further his solo career."

A heavy smoker, Palmer died of a heart attack in Paris in 2003 at age 54.

Has Chick-Fil-A Changed Its Ways?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:11:00 +0000

Chick Fil A Kiss-In

Chicago Alderman Joe Moreno, who has fought against the expansion of Chick-Fil-A in his city, has been in negotiations with the fast food chain, in an effort to get them to change their charitable giving to anti-gay hate groups.

On Tuesday, The Civil Rights Agenda sent out a press release, announcing the company has decided to change its ways, sort out:

September 18, 2012 – Chicago, Illinois – The Civil Rights Agenda (TCRA), Illinois’ leading lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) civil rights advocacy organization, has learned that Alderman Moreno has finalized his negotiations with Chick-Fil-A. Alderman Moreno has confirmed that Chick-fil-A will no longer give money to anti-gay organizations and that they have clarified in an internal document that the company will treat every person equally, regardless of sexual orientation. The Civil Rights Agenda worked closely with the Alderman in an advisory role as he negotiated these concessions with the executives at Chick-fil-A. Additionally, members of TCRA spoke directly with executives at Chick-fil-A during negotiations to aid in educating their decision makers about anti-discrimination policies and issues affecting the LGBT community.

In a letter addressed to Alderman Moreno and signed by Chick-fil-A’s Senior Director of Real Estate, it states, “The WinShape Foundations is now taking a much closer look at the organizations it considers helping, and in that process will remain true to its stated philosophy of not supporting organizations with political agendas.” Winshape, a non-profit funded by Chick-fil-a, has donated millions of dollars to anti-LGBT groups, including some classified as hate groups, such as Focus on the Family and the National Organization for Marriage. In meetings the company executives clarified that they will no longer give to anti-gay organizations.

“We are very pleased with this outcome and thank Alderman Moreno for his work on this issue,” said Anthony Martinez, executive director of The Civil Rights Agenda. “I think the most substantive part of this outcome is that Chick-fil-A has ceased donating to organizations that promote discrimination, specifically against LGBT civil rights. It has taken months of discussion, both with our organization and with the Alderman, for Chick-fil-A to come forward with these concessions and we feel this is a strong step forward for Chick-fil-A and the LGBT community, although it is only a step.”

Additionally, they have sent an internal memo to franchisees and stakeholders that states that as a company, they will “treat every person with honor, dignity and respect-regardless of their beliefs, race, creed, sexual orientation and gender” and that their “intent is not to engage in political or social debates.” This statement was placed into an official company document called “Chick-fil-A: Who We Are.”

“Although we are encouraged by their internal statement, we would still like for the company to adopt an anti-discrimination policy at the corporate level,” said Rick Garcia, policy advisor for The Civil Rights Agenda. “It is one thing for a company to say they respect everyone they serve and employ, it is quite another for them to put that into their policies and demand that all employees adhere to that behavior. As we have heard from gay employees that work for Chick-fil-A, there is a culture of discrimination within the company and we would like to ensure that employees can speak out and call attention to those practices without fear of reprisal. It takes time to change the culture of any institution and steps like a corporate policy ensure that progress is made.”

So the bottom line is that the Chicken folks have agreed to stop funding the anti-gays, but won't implement an LGBT-inclusive employee nondiscrimination policy.

The boycott continues.

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Seattle Times Launches Campaign to Support Marriage Equality

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 16:23:00 +0000

The Seattle Times has joined the fight for Marriage Equality in Washington State by launching a social media campaign to pass Referendum 74, which would legalized same-sex marriage. The Times has posted a printable version of the sign you see here and challenged readers to join the campaign.

Do you support same-sex marriage? Join The Seattle Times editorial board's social media campaign to approve Referendum 74 on the Nov. 6 ballot. Take a photo of you, your partner or your family holding this sign and share it on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #IDo74. You can also email the photo to ido@seattletimes.com. Please include names of the people in the photo. By sharing your photo, you give The Seattle Times permission to publish the photo in print and online.

Want to show your support on Facebook? Go to our Seattle Times Opinion Facebook page and download a cover and profile picture to show your support on your Facebook page.

Print yours here.

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As seen on the Internets: Lisa Lampanelli on Sally Struthers' DUI

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 18:13:00 +0000

Those of you under the age of 40 might not remember Sally Struthers, but once upon a time, back in the 70's, she was a hot, young, blonde actress starring on the groundbreaking sit-com, "All in the Family". The show spawned spin-offs, like "The Jeffersons", "Maude" and "Good Times". Struthers later became the spokesperson for Feed the Children.

USA Today reports the actress was charged on Wednesday with a DUI in Ogunquit, Maine, where she has been performing in a stage production of "9 to 5: The Musical". Struthers also starred in the TV sit-com based on the 1980 movie, which starred Jane Fonda, Lily Thomlin and Dolly Parton.

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Maher: ‘This is the week Mitt Romney lost the election’

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 17:26:00 +0000

Maher: ‘This is the week Mitt Romney lost the election’ (via Raw Story )

Because of his reaction to the crisis in the Middle East, Bill Maher said Friday, “I think this is the week Mitt Romney lost the election.” Romney’s much-derided remarks falsely criticizing the Obama administration made the GOP presidential candidate look “small,” Maher said, in much the…

The Kinsey Sicks Warn What Will Happen If You Don't Vote (Video)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 16:51:00 +0000

The Kinsey Sicks

Acapella drag performers, The Kinsey Sicks warn LGBT's to Vote Girly, Vote Often... or hideous drag queens will come to your house to harass you!

Stuff I'm Obsessed With: Why doesn't Dr. Who have an iPhone 5?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 15:55:00 +0000

The 10th Doctor (David Tennant) and his prehistoric phone.

Yes, I'm still obsessed with the Time Lord from Gallifrey, who travels through all of time and space in a blue police phone box that's bigger on the inside, saving humanity from itself and all sorts of hostile aliens, that have a habit of attacking Earth just in time for the Christmas special.

Today is the day the iPhone 5 becomes available for pre-order. The entire planet is pouncing on Apple stores everywhere and flooding the phone lines of Sprint, Verizon, ATT, T-Mobile and all the rest in a mad frenzy to get the new smart phone before everybody else.

So if I was a Time Lord and could get my hands on any communication device ever created or that ever will be created, why would I use the LG Slider and not the iPhone 5, or 5 bazillion, for that matter?

I know. I need a vacation.

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Viking Zombie Boyfriend, By Jeremy Rizza (9-13-12)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 15:56:00 +0000

Rorik and Dill are just your average, All-American, bearish, gay couple... except that Rorik is a 1,000-year-old, undead viking warrior.

Posted with permission.

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Sec. Clinton Issues Statement on the Death of American Personnel in Benghazi, Libya

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 17:02:00 +0000

Press Statement
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Secretary of State
Washington, DC
September 12, 2012

It is with profound sadness that I share the news of the death of four American personnel in Benghazi, Libya yesterday. Among them were United States Ambassador to Libya Chris Stevens and Foreign Service Information Management Officer, Sean Smith. We are still making next of kin notifications for the other two individuals. Our hearts go out to all their families and colleagues.

A 21 year veteran of the Foreign Service, Ambassador Stevens died last night from injuries he sustained in the attack on our office in Benghazi.

I had the privilege of swearing in Chris for his post in Libya only a few months ago. He spoke eloquently about his passion for service, for diplomacy and for the Libyan people. This assignment was only the latest in his more than two decades of dedication to advancing closer ties with the people of the Middle East and North Africa which began as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco. As the conflict in Libya unfolded, Chris was one of the first Americans on the ground in Benghazi. He risked his own life to lend the Libyan people a helping hand to build the foundation for a new, free nation. He spent every day since helping to finish the work that he started. Chris was committed to advancing America’s values and interests, even when that meant putting himself in danger.

Sean Smith was a husband and a father of two, who joined the Department ten years ago. Like Chris, Sean was one of our best. Prior to arriving in Benghazi, he served in Baghdad, Pretoria, Montreal, and most recently The Hague.

All the Americans we lost in yesterday’s attacks made the ultimate sacrifice. We condemn this vicious and violent attack that took their lives, which they had committed to helping the Libyan people reach for a better future.

America’s diplomats and development experts stand on the front lines every day for our country. We are honored by the service of each and every one of them.

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New Wave Wednesday: "Miss Me Blind", by Culture Club (Music Video)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 16:10:00 +0000

So you think drag queens in pop music started with RuPaul? Guess again.

During the early 80's, British New Wave band Culture Club, featuring the cross-dressing lead singer Boy George, soared to the top of the charts with hits like "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me", "It's a Miracle" and "Church of the Poison Mind".

This week's pick "Miss Me Blind", from the band's second album, "Colour by Numbers", reached #5 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 in 1984.

Where were you on 9/11? (Repost)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:51:00 +0000

The following is a repost of a piece I wrote back in 2009. Paul and I were living in in Floyd County, Va. just outside of Roanoke at the time. Rather than trying to write something new in remembrance of the day, I thought I'd repost it.

On September 11, 2001 my father was visiting from Seattle. My younger sister had gotten married just two days prior and my father had flown in from Seattle to attend. As he usually did, he spent time visiting with his seven kids scattered from Pennsylvania to Virginia during his trip east. Dad was staying with Paul and I at our old place on the Little River.

Paul owned two small cabins across the road from each other when we met and the first couple of years together were spent dividing our time between the two. When Dad came back with us from the wedding in in Northern Virginia, we set him up in the cabin Paul had named "Blue Moon" while we stayed stayed across the one-lane dirt road at "Key West". (I know, it's too gay for words.)

Paul had left for work when I got up to start the coffee and turned on the TV. As I watched Katie Couric reporting that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center, I called Dad on the phone and told him to turn on the TV.

As I continued watching the coverage, a second plane shot past the back of Katie's head and into the second tower, exploding in a massive fireball. Like the rest of the world, Dad and I watched the morning's events unfold mostly in a stunned silence that was occasionally interrupted with speculation about who could have done this and why.

But we had more practical things to deal with that day. I was due back at work that night and Dad was supposed to fly from Roanoke to DC to meet another of my sisters, and continue his East Coast tour. All air traffic had been canceled and we needed to work out alternate transportation. No buses or trains were moving either that day as a precaution against further attacks.

I made several calls to car rental agencies and finally found one that had a few cars left. I drove Dad into Roanoke, MapQuest directions in hand. I handed him my cell phone and told him to stop frequently if he needed to. His fibromyalgia made it difficult for him to drive long distances and his designated driver, my stepmother, had already flown home. We alerted my sister of his alternate travel plans, said our goodbyes and I went home to get ready for work.

It seems trivial now, but I've heard that when you're going through a difficult time and everything is chaotic, doing something normal helps you to feel more normal. No one knew that day what an impact the 9/11 terrorist attack would have on the world. Addressing the immediate problem of getting my dad's visit back on track helped me to feel a sense of control on a day that the unthinkable happened.

What were you doing on September 11, 2001? Feel free to leave a comment.

Study Shows DADT Repeal Has No Effect on Military Readiness

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 16:49:00 +0000

(Click to enlarge.)

You remember all the predictions of doom and gloom tossed about by old guard military brass about what would happen if President Obama repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell and allowed gays and lesbians to serve their country openly? They went something like this:

“Repeal… would undermine recruiting and retention, impact leadership at all levels, have adverse effects on the willingness of parents who lend their sons and daughters to military service, and eventually break the All-Volunteer Force.”

— March 2009 statement signed by
1,167 retired admirals and generals

“The flag and general officers for the military, 1,167 to date, 51 of them former four-stars, said that this law, if repealed, could indeed break the All-Volunteer Force. They chose that word very carefully. They have a lot of military experience… and they know what they’re talking about.”

—Elaine Donnelly, Center for Military Readiness, May 2010

Guess what? According to a study released by The Palm Center, an independent think tank, they were dead wrong. In an interview with the Huffington Post, Aaron Belkin, the founding director of the Palm Center and lead author of the study said, "For almost twenty years, experts predicted that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly would harm the military. Now the evidence is in, and the conclusion is clear: repealing 'don't ask, don't tell' did not harm the military, and if anything made it easier for the Pentagon to pursue its mission."

The findings of the year-long study show:

1. The repeal of DADT has had no overall negative impact on military readiness or its component dimensions, including cohesion, recruitment, retention, assaults, harassment or morale.

2. A comparison of 2011 pre-repeal and 2012 post-repeal survey data shows that service members reported the same level of military readiness after DADT repeal as before it.

3. Even in those units that included openly LGB service members, and that consequently should have been the most likely to experience a drop in cohesion as a result of repeal, cohesion did not decline after the new policy of open service was put into place. In fact, greater openness and honesty resulting from repeal seem to have promoted increased understanding, respect and acceptance.

4. Recruitment was unaffected by the repeal of DADT. In an era when enlistment standards are tightening, service-wide recruitment has remained robust.

5. Retention was unaffected by the repeal of DADT. There was no mass exodus of military members as a result of repeal, and there were only two verifiable resignations linked to the policy change, both military chaplains. Service members were as likely to say that they plan to re-enlist after DADT repeal as was the case pre-repeal.

6. DADT repeal has not been responsible for any new wave of violence or physical abuse among service members. The policy change appears to have enabled some LGB service members to resolve disputes around harassment and bias in ways that were not possible prior to repeal.

7. Service-wide data indicate that overall, force morale did not decrease as a result of the new policy, although repeal produced a decline in individual morale for some service members who personally opposed the policy change and boosted individual morale for others.

8. There was no wave of mass disclosures of sexual orientation after repeal, and a minority of heterosexual service members reported in an independent survey that, after repeal, someone in their unit disclosed being LGB or that an LGB service member joined their unit.

9. Some military members have complained of downsides that followed from the policy change, but others identified upsides, and in no case did negative consequences outweigh benefits. In balance, DADT repeal has enhanced the military’s ability to pursue its mission.

10. The findings of this study are consistent with the reported assessments of repeal by military leadership including President Barack Obama, Secretary of Defense Leon 5 Panetta, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Martin Dempsey and Marine Corps Commandant James Amos.

You can see the full study results here. The only possible comment I could add to these findings is, "We told you so."

Yeah, what Borowitz said.

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 03:54:00 +0000

Oh, Squeaky, Thou Art a Bitch Goddess!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 19:05:00 +0000

Daddy's Girl, Squeaky.

You are 19 years old, deaf, nearly blind and you miss the litter box almost as often as you hit it. You hated me when I first started dating your daddy, but somehow, over the years, I managed to win you over, much to his annoyance.

Over the past nearly 13 years, you became my cat, especially when Max and Snowball showed up on our doorstep, hungry and hopeful of sharing the love you once had all to yourself.

Although you were declawed years before I came along and Max is twice your size and Snowball is a scrappy little barn cat with half a tail, each of your adopted siblings have all their claws and could easily hurt you if they wanted. Instead they scatter when when you come into the room and hiss your enduring disapproval at their interloping presence. You are the queen of your castle and your daddies will always love you best.

May I beg a favor of Your Highness? Won't you please let your daddy sleep? I know my work schedule has changed and I get home after 1am and I don't get to spend as much time with you as I used to. But it's been over two months now. I still feed you twice a day, when I get home and when I get up. You know that I go to bed between 2am and 3am. Yet, you still come into my room at the crack of dawn crying to be fed, even though you ate your special canned food that the other cats don't get, just a few hours before.

There is dry food out for everyone to share. Are you really hungry, or are you just fucking with me? Don't you know your daddy needs his sleep so he can function at work to make money to buy you that special food that the other cats don't get? You are wearing me out!!

I've played it your way, getting up early to feed you, then going back to bed. But 15 minutes later you are back on the bed crying for attention. Are you really unable to hear me when I tell you "No!", or are you just faking it because you're mad at me?

Three weeks ago, I came up with my master plan.

"I'm the daddy, dammit! She'll eat when I say so!", I thought.

"She's still on my old schedule. I just have to break her of that and get her used to my new schedule", I thought.

So I set up the air mattress in the spare bedroom in the basement and decided that's where I'd sleep for a while. Squeaky doesn't go down there. I figured two to three weeks should be enough to get her acclimated to her new schedule and I can get a much needed full night's sleep.

It seemed to be working well, so last night, for the first time in weeks, I returned to my own comfy bed. Squeaky got up on the bed for a cuddle and to sleep with me like she always used to. All seemed right with the world... until the sun came up.

"MMMYYYOOOOWWWW!!!! MMMMYYYYOOOOWWWW!!!!" Translation: "Bwaaahhh, haaa, haaa!! Stupid, puny human!!! You thought you could defeat me???!!!

Squeaky, you win this round, as always. Daddy loves you, but this is not over. It's back to the basement for me.

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Post-DNC Meet Up with Bilerco's Bil Browning and Stonewall Democrats' Jerame Davis

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 00:08:00 +0000

(L-R) Bil Browning, Rev. Steve, Jerame Davis.

Every now and then, if you are very lucky, you get to meet someone whose work you admire and who inspires you to strive harder in your own work. Today I had such an opportunity when my hubby, Paul and I met up with Bil Browning, Editor-in-Chief of The Bilerco Project and his partner, Jerame Davis, Executive Director of Stonewall Democrats.

The guys were in Charlotte this week for the Democratic National Convention and stayed an extra day to decompress. The duo were the lucky house guests of Q-Notes Editor and Bilerico contributor Matt Comer this week, who, unfortunately, couldn't join us.

The four of us had a leisurely chat over Napoleons, raspberry tarts, chocolate moose and the signature Salted Caramel Brownie at Amelie's French Bakery in the NoDa section of Charlotte. Bil commented that this was his favorite stop in the Queen City.

Naturally we talked about the most LGBT-inclusive political convention ever and I wanted to know all about it. Jerame said the atmosphere was electric, despite the crush of people and the festival-style seating. Oh, to have been in that hall during all those inspiring speeches.

We also talked about Barney Frank's remarks yesterday, when he called Log Cabin Republicans "Uncle Toms". While I heartily agreed with with Uncle Barney, Jerame stuck to his official press statement, when his organization joined a chorus of others in distancing themselves from Frank's comments:

"It's definitely not the best language to use," executive director Jerame Davis said. "And I definitely wouldn't use that language myself. That is definitely not the position of Stonewall Democrats."

"The truth is that they do play a certain role of kowtowing to the Republican Party in a way that borders on inappropriate itself."

Well said, Jerame. Personally, I love Barney's new "I'm-retiring-so-I'll-say-anything-I-want-and-fuck-you-if-you-don't-like-it" attitude. I wish there was more of it in DC.

As for Bil, it was such an honor to meet somebody who has built such an amazing career and who has been such an inspiration to me. He has posted several of my articles over the years ("What's in a Handshake?" and "What to Tell Your Kids About Gay Sex" for example). I can't express what a joy it was to finally meet him.

Thank you Bil and Jerame for taking the time to get together. Paul and I had a great time! Have a safe trip home.

Stuff I'm Obsessed With: "Dr. Who?" Dinosaurs on a Spaceship! (video)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 13:56:00 +0000

What? You've never watched Dr. Who? The British Sci-Fi series that's been going for fifty years has never been better. It's cutting edge, timey-wimey, wibbly-wobby fun like you've never seen before. That last of the Time Lords travels through time and space in a police public call box that's bigger on the inside, picking up human companions along the way.

Catch it on BBC America, Saturday nights at 9pm Eastern.

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