विचारों के बुलबुले...

...'सफ़र' के गाने...

2010-04-15T12:11:00.007+05:30

(These songs were used in the 1st ever Musical play of IIT Bombay 'Safar')

Song 1:

जाना कहाँ है पता नहीं,
आये कहाँ से पता नहीं,
कितने दिनों से यहाँ पे बैठे,
ये भी हमको पता नहीं...
जाना कहाँ है पता नहीं....

song 2:

कमाल हो गया, कमाल हो गया,
जैसा कभी सोचा ना था हाल हो गया,
प्यार में पड़ गया तू तो तू बेहाल हो गया,
कमाल हो गया..

प्रेम की दुनिया बड़ी रंगीली, ऐसे रंग दिखलाये,
कौन गधा और कौन हिरन कुछ अंतर ना रह जाये,
प्रेमी के पहलु के आगे कुछ भी नज़र ना आये
जहाँ भी जाओ जिधर भी देखो नज़र वही बस आये,
घर में आ गई इतनी खुशियाँ...ये निहाल हो गया..
कमाल हो गया...

कुछ ही दिन में हिरनी को ये बात समझ में आई,
वो है एक हिरन गधों के बीच कहाँ से आयी..
घरवालों को छोड़ा तूने सबसे नाता तोडा,
एक हिरनी के चक्कर में तूने सबसे मुँह मोड़ा,
चली गयी वो तुझे छोड़ के...तू अकेला हो गया...

song 3:

हैय्या हो..हैय्या हो
हैय्या हो..हैय्या हो

सुन ले रे मन की पुकार,
भीगी अंखिया करे इंतज़ार,
पंथ निहारें पंथी सारे
ले चल भंवर के पार

हैय्या हो..हैय्या हो..

Song 4:

जिये के आधार..रहे जे संगतिया,
उकरे से भईले न मेल,
नेहिया के रहिया पे हमके चला के,
गढ़वा में देलस धकेल...
ऊपर वाला अजब तोहर खेल..२

सात जनम जे निभावे के सोचनी..२
होई इहे जिनगी में फेल,
चारों तरफ अंधियारा बरहिया,
बुझ गइल दिया बाती तेल..
ऊपर वाला अजब तोहर खेल..

Song 5:

आपन साथी के भुला के केहू जाई कहाँ रे..
पंछी उरे रे आकास, करे गछिया पे बास,
हाथ संगी से छुड़ा के खुसी पाई कहाँ रे,
केहू जाई कहाँ रे....२

song 6:

हाँ तो कहानी कुछ ऎसी है भैया..
अरे कैसी है भैया कैसी है भैया...
कहके सुनाएँ या गा के सुनाएँ..
अरे गा के सुनाओ कुछ बजा के सुनाओ..

सुनो सुनो तुम आज सुनो एक बात पुरानी ...तिनक धिनक धा
धोबी घाट जंगल के हिरन पीते थे पानी..तिनक धिनक धा
उसी घाट की सुनो अजब ये प्रेम कहानी..तिनक धिनक धा
प्रेम डोर में बंधा गधा हुई हिरनी दीवानी तिनक धिनक धा
अरे कैसे हुआ मिलन
ताऊ हमें बता
दोनों के प्यार का
किस्सा हमें सुना..

दोनों के प्यार की खबरें उनके घरवालों तक आयी..
फिर क्या हुआ...
अरे मिलन की बात करते हो तुम सब...हो गयी उनकी जुदायी..
क्यों है घरवाले नाराज़..उनकी समझ में ना आई..
अंजाम जो भी हो बस..साथ जीने मरने की कसमें खायी..फिर???
फिर.!!!
फिर एक रात दोनों अचानक नींद से जाग गए..
हाथो में हाथ डाले...वो तो घर से भाग गए.......

अरे कैसे हुआ मिलन, ताऊ हमें बता..
दोनों के प्यार का किस्सा हमें सुना...

Song 7:
सुबह की भूली शाम को लौटी,हिरनी वापस आई..
पुलकित हो गए नैन, गधे ने फिर से खुशियाँ पायी
मिले है अब फिर जुदा न होंगे..ऎसी कसमे खाई..
जग की रीत तो जग ही जाने, प्रीत की रीत निभाई..
कट अब तो दुःख की रातें..........फिर सवेरा हो गया....
कमाल हो गया...कमाल हो गया...
जैसा पहले सोचा ना था हाल हो गया...
कमाल हो गया.......

...PAF Review :'माये माटी'

2010-03-28T23:48:00.002+05:30

Now I am again a little bit late bt u know 'देर से आते हैं पर आते जरूर हैं',So now we are here for the 3rd paf named 'माये माटी' by H5,H6 & H11 which means 'meri mitti'.(Its not 'mai mati' or 'My maati')

Concept & Story-

In the Review of last PAF 'Panchhi re' I said that it was about one of the most sensitive issue nowadays(spcly for politicians).For this PAF I will say again one of the most sensitive issue,bt here it is very much concerned with Aam Junta,'Naxalism'.The basic line of the PAF was 'सरकार और नक्सलियों की लड़ाई में जनता ही पिस रही है,and the very truth is Naxalism is spreading over our country.'
I was in Jharkhand for 4 yrs and I have met there many people which are Aam Junta in sunlight and 'Naxalite' in the dark.They used to say 'हम भूखे मर रहे थे,सरकार ने कुछ नहीं दिया कभी,हमारी जमीन छीन ली,नौकरी नहीं दी,हाँ नौकरी का झांसा जरूर दिया,नक्सली आये,एक हाथ में रोटी दी,दूसरे में हथियार,हमने ले लिया.'
I have seen the pitiable life of tribes there,So I am very much convinced that sentiments of 'Aam Junta' tribes(which are still not naxalites) is very much inclined towards the naxalites.(Although they don't want violance).And being an IITian we can explain it as a dynamic reaction in which the rate of conversion of 'Aam' tribes into Naxalite is much greater than the reverse phenomenon.Here I am not saying that Government is totally bad and Naxalites are heroes.(Government can't be violant like the naxalites.)But at the same time we can't say that Government is hero and naxalites are totally bad.In very short Government will have to handle this issue very intelligently,very sensitively while taking care for the sentiments and condition of tribes.
The same (discussed above) was the theme and storyline of 'माये माटी'.It was not a misinterpretation of an epic like 1st paf or a wrong projection of a good intention(perhaps) like 2nd PAF.So,it is appreciable in this sense.But what about execution?We will discuss it in later sections.

Dialogue,script & screenplay-

Script of the paf included various gud elements,but here I am just looking for a basic thing of any script.Did the writing team think about 'characterization' of important characters and 'stability' of scenes.I think they didn't worry for this very 1st step of any script.(after a very gud example of this in 'Panchhi Re')And,so many wrongs were mainly caused by it.Some characters were well-defined,like Bittu,Ranjeet singh,Rajiv Shekhar bt what about 'Professor sahab' or that Ideal type Inspector Manoj,or the aggressive Mangal.What I can see,they should have much more space in the script(including Rajiv Shekhar,and to some extent Ranjeet Singh) than Bittu-Chanda sequence or other stuffs like this.Every scene was looking in hurry
Thinking about the positive aspects of the script,It always stuck with its issue from the beginning through out the paf and till the end.Also it included some minor issues ,lovable elements and sweet dialogues in a very nice way e.g.,'तम्बाकू की लत',problem of electricity(टोंका फसाना),मास्टरजी का गाँव के बड़े-बूढों को पढ़ाना,dialogues like 'बिना बड़ों के आशीर्वाद के घर-गृहस्थी खुश नहीं रहती',the Street-play(which gave the PAF a major momentum),celebration of Durga-pooja.,exposure of Media.
"यहाँ जनता 'सिर्फ' कॉमेडी चाहती है",well,I don't agree with this statement,If you put a serious scene with good execution,Junta always appreciate it,even after lack of fine execution Junta support the effort.And,This was clearly visible and 'audible' in this PAF.Some of jokes worked well and appreciated by Junta,like a very unique explanation of DDLJ,Netaji-reporter seq.,'खूँटी' joke(with double meaning).But many were either not responded by junta or cause for 'दया'.And you don't have any right to start ur show with such a bad scene like that 'Rajiv Shekhar show'(It needed a recorded 'laughter' like actual shows on TV & also feel gratitude for Junta .)
One dialogue I completely didn't get was 'मैं तो मानता हूँ की भगवान की भलाई इसी में है कि भगवान् का अस्तित्व ही न हो'(I can't blame the writer for it,may be it is my less understanding of literature.)
Overall it can be said an average script with some fundamental problems.

Acting & Voice-over -

While watching this PAF I felt strongly to prepare an audio-review(to check that unlike most of the voice-overs, can I speak with correct feeling/accent or not,bt I don't have so much Gutts like the voice-over team).Some of voice-over were totally mood-spoiling & scene-spoiling also.The one everyone noticed was the 'Masterji' Voice-over.Ladies' voice-over was worst I have ever heard till date.(How can girls give such plain,out of tone and blah blah type of voice-over).PAF started with a poem,well written with good background score and with a brilliant 'आलाप',I wish ki इसे इतने ही अच्छे तरीके से पढ़ा भी जाता.Even in street-play part there was lack of co-ordination among VOs.Many times according to situation with very gud intense music scenes demanded VO with same intensity,maturity and aggression,bt the team failed to fulfill it.Sometimes I felt that the overall sound level meter was too high..Also I remember that in one song(perhaps the title song),a guy from voice-over box was whistling(was sounding very irritating),I wud like to suggest him that if u are not very good at something don't try it in an event where there involves efforts of 100 people.
The good pairs of acting & VOs were Bittu(VO-Shubhanshu),Ranjit Singh(VO-Sushant,some people confused his voice with Snehil),Netaji(Snehil),The DDLJ guy 'Kachhua'(Appy),Bhabhi(I don't know the name of anyone),Mangal(Snehil),The Gud Inspector & English narration(Tiwari).Snehil was Good bt not with his best(trying to give VO in English has forced me to write this statement.)Actors were average (bcz of the characterization prblm).

Music & Choreo-

Aah,waiting for this section from my first word.It was a great work by the Music team.Every piece was brilliant and with variations.The combination of the Sitar,tabla,Drum and the Aalaap guy were the major factor to keep the atmo very positive.The Music composed and performed for songs as well as for background score were lovely and according to the situation.(also in comedy scenes).However,I felt the song 'Maaye maati' came in very bollywoodish style(1st some question was asked about naxalism,and the answer was intentionally the 1st line of the song,khair its all by the script team.)The score performed for the choreo seq was great and really tough to do,when someone has to dance on ur live music.So,finally hats off to the Music team.
For choreo,unique numbers like Durga-pooja celebration,'Mahishasur-mardini',The lock-seq.(the thematic choreo) were interesting.And these all were giving very cultural feeling of Jharkhand-Bengal areas.Specially there costumes did lot of work to create this type of atmo.Potty and Sushmita were always good and confident.Bt rest were looking under-rehearsed,missing steps,trying to match the steps @ the cost of appropriate face-expression.Kashyap was good in first prt of Mahishasur mardini,bt in 2nd part when he was fighting with the 'Devtaas',was doing very comic steps,Junta was enjoying that seq only by laughing.'Lathi-bhaanj' seq. (very risky with fire on Lathis)didn't work for the Junta who have already tasted the 'Gatka' of '1984'.The thematic seq were well-thought by choreo team,(most of the time Aam junta don't get the story behind ny thematic choreo,bt this time being a part of non-choreo junta it gave me full satisfaction that I was enjoying the seq with the understanding of what was happening,so thanx from non-choreo Junta to Potty and team ).

Prod & FA-

Gud work,Train was the new prod for non-alumni junta,the one thing which sudden attract my eyes was the weighing machine,in which the 'चकरी' was continuously revolving.Right side prod were simple and clean.I wud like the studio if it had also the camera set-up वगैरह.The village was looking actually like village bcz of its element hand-pump,huts(in natural look),grass-cutter machine,मटकियाँ etc.Some complain with FA junta,यार main stage के तीन part में sky का color बिलकुल ही अलग था.and the 2nd complain is about the red color used for the walls of main stage just looking as some baby's drawing.bt shading was brilliant.And the backdrop of the village part was brilliantly awsome.(I saw it in sunlight.)
Again like 1st PAF prod junta was failed to be hiden in prod-shifting some while there are very few prod-shifting.

Light,Sound and Technical aspects-

First of all great work by video making team,everyone is saying that video was sufficient enough to draw the whole theme.
The unique and good part of light was the use of central stage light for the quadrangle scene.Apart from that,there was no major putches bt at the same time many small putches just disappointed the audience.Also,I felt that the village was always in dark.Even the great work of FA team(the back-drop of village) was not visible bcz light failed to reach that backdrop.Transitions of light were never smooth so not loved by eyes.
Sound tracks used were relevant,no complain abt it,gud job,Kudos.Bt many tracks didn't have proper end.It was like just a copy-paste work.

Last Notes-

In my view-point,first PAF of this year without any misinterpretation or wrong projection of a theme,with some basic problems in script,with lot of executional putches,with some lovable moments and with glimpse of a different cultural zone of India.
(waiting for ur comments)

...PAF Review :'पंछी रे...'

2010-03-24T16:49:00.007+05:30

Hey happy to see that junta is seeking for my 2nd PAF review,so here it is...

PAF2 'Panchhi re' (Hostel 1,3,9,12)

Before the start of IPL Ganguly said,"हम बोल के नहीं कर के दिखायेंगे"...u know गांगुली तब भी बोल ही रहा था,bt here unlike KKR, 3+9 were well determined to do something...so no trailer like things direct PAF...बोला तो नहीं कर के दिखाया क्या?...dats y this review is...

Preview-

'कुछ भी अपने में बहुत ज्यादा extra-ordinary नहीं है,और कुछ भी अपने में बहुत ज्यादा ख़राब नहीं है'
'Prod में एक बहुत ही नयी चीज़ है,there involves a little bit of tech,a little bit of FA & a little bit of Prod' 'हर आदमी अपनी-अपनी जगह सही है,अगर एक चोर किसी के घर में जाके चोरी करता है तो वो भी अपनी जगह सही है' (was dat ur theme about???)
'हम अपनी कहानी से पहले जन-गन-मन गवा के लोगों को खड़ा नहीं करेंगे'(involving national anthem in the PAF was really so bad?Isn't it an aggressive mode towards a gud thing?)
'इस बार PAF में H3 मचाने वाला है' (H9 जनता देख लो ये H3 वाले सारा credit PAF से पहले ही ले गए)

(Now national anthem became 1 time attempt instead of being part of tradition,so no column abt it today,u know इतिहास हमेशा सफल लोगों के तलवे चाटती है,असफल आन्दोलनकर्ता विद्रोही कहे जाते हैं)

Execution-

Now a new column.What every one is appreciating in this PAF is execution execution & execution...Except at some points what the team prepared,they executed very smoothly and at the same time in a very tight way.And the exceptions are...almost @ every transformation of one scene to another...and the second one exception I felt was a blackout of more than 30 sec with nothing(no music no voice-over...),bt these exceptions were of no meaning when Junta was with the Team.

Concept & story-

The simple & literal story was the issue involved with the importance of date 22nd march 'World Water Day'.It clearly shows the extent of planning of the script team that the date of PAF did matter for them.In larger picture it was a sarcasm over the issue of migration of North Indian people in Mumbai.One of the most sensitive issue nowadays(spcly for politicians).I think this was the 1st attempt of use of sarcasm up to 80 % in any PAF.So cheers to the man behind the concept.But,now time for a surgical operation of the 'attempt'.It never matters that what the team is interpreting with the story,what interpretation naturally flows from the story to Junta always matters.Let me see what this natural flow is saying...North Indian 'migrants' are like villain in the story,they break rules,use resources of bhole-bhale 'Mumbaikar',the protester(lead hero,a Mumbaikar) was given 'गाँव-निकाला',he left his 'गाँव' in the hand of those villains and went to bring improvement into the 'गाँव' of those villains...So what I am saying to the Team is if u were creating this story with a good feeling & without taking sides,u need to re-examine
ur story and characters,they didn't take care for ur feelings.

Dialogue,script & Screenplay-

Now I am going to forget the above discussion for the rest of columns(like every one did because of the well-executed performance).Most of the script was humour-based,
I will not say it a matured humour(many times it had smell of Stand-up type of punches) bt it was intelligent enough to take audience in the team.The story moved from start to end very smoothly(as earlier I said that I forgot the 'concept & Story' section),bt I wud like it more if It were 100% sarcasm(i.e.,without the Kataria-Gopu debate part).There were Fatte related to the story,Fatte not related with the story(IIT Fatte,related to audience) and some double meanings(Dont u remember 'भैंस का दूध निकालते वक़्त भी...' & 'बड़ी स्वादिष्ट है हमारी...').Almost every one Fatta got warm welcome from the audience as well as from the Profs(bcz I saw some Profs with 'जोरदार ठहाका' for the XX grade fatta).At the same time script team crossed limit slightly at some places...for example,The name 'Kataria' and the dialogues regarding this name create a countable part of humour...bt when the story went on a serious turn,this name was making dialogues light-weighted.And also u should know that its not a name,Its a surname,and I have seen one 'kataria' senti for it,and obviously everyone must regard this sentiment...another example was the use of names 'IIT Tharakpur' & 'IIT Tharki'(Hey its not ur Room or ur Hostel Lounge,It was OAT of an IIT).In last scenes the water-harvesting seq was also innovative and nice to watch(it wud be far better if the guy pouring water at the roof of the Hut and his bucket were not visible.).Adding one last point that It is not enough to give a perfect end to the story bt we should ensure that every scene must end in perfection.There were cases of non-smoothness at the end of scenes.

Acting & Voice-over-

I must salute to these two team,a great work & a great example of perfect co-ordination.What i felt the positive energy behind this is perhaps all actors were directed by their voice-overs.And we know the Gems Dabri,Moody,Raghuveer etc were in the Voice-over team.I observed one more thing.Normally one person gives voice-over for my actors.Here also this was the case,bt the unique thing was the voice-over of 'Kataria' was given by two persons Bagla and Moody(in XX,Amavasya & Shauchalaya seq.) according to the situations which came brilliantly in front of audience.I must again salute to Dabri(I thought that voice-overs are being given by Sappy,bt it was Dabri) & the 'Shakuni' Mama(everywhere and every sec he was in chracter and once Dabri had slip of tounge which 'Mama' handled by his act.)Raghuveer and RSB were also gud in various voices.The 'Gopu' himself and his voice-over also were weak at some places.In summary,It was nice to be an audience in front of this great combination of VO-Actor team.

Music & Choreo-

I must say brilliant work by the music team and also great work by the choreo team.I liked every piece of music.The Holi song 'आई शगुनिया होली',the Title song and the 'लौहपथगामिनी' song were well written composed and performed.But execution of 'लौहपथगामिनी' and the piece 'Nikal padi' cud have been better.An appreciable work was also done by the sound-forging team.At some places it had some minor problem bt those were neglegible.For choreo team,performance at 'shaguniya holi' was very much entertaining and had enough 'मस्ती' so one can easily imagine the 'हुल्लड़' of 'होली'.The UV seq was very much unique and appreciable with open arms.The 'Panchhi' formation took everyone with it in the Sky.The overall work of music & choreo team also deserves a grand salute.

Prod & FA work-
The prod team gave IIT a memorable Kali Mata-Tree rotatable prod,which rotated everyone's eyeball with itself every time when it was rotating.Again change of prod on central stage with scenes like first PAF bt unlike the first one with good execution.Hey Today I have added 'FA' with prod,its for a reason.Except the rotatable prod,remaining was simple and not grand bt the FA work on those simple prod was brilliant and quite natural.

Light-

Work on lights was very gud spcly its use at Kali mata Feet,In her eyes,behind dancers in 1st seq.The most important thing was that there was neglegible putch of light in scene changes(its often the case with PAF).

Last Notes-

A very entertaining PAF,within time-limit,well-executed,well-appreciated by Junta,with some problems in framing of story and characters,causing some worry on the forehead of remaining two teams.

(Some people say ki 'बहुत लम्बा लिखते हो यार' and I say ki 'महीनों की मेहनत पे इतना लिखना तो बनता है मेरे दोस्त'

Comments are invited.)

...धूम-धड़ाक

2010-03-23T10:57:00.002+05:30

प्रस्तुत रचना मैंने एक street-play ‘जागो जागो जागो’ के लिए लिखी थी l

खोजो खोजो खोजो रे

धूम-धड़ाक जोर लगा

धूम-धड़ाक शोर मचा

घर में चोरी हो गयी रे

चीज़ काम की खो गयी रे

धूम-धड़ाक जोर लगा

धूम-धड़ाक शोर मचा

मेहनत से नाता टूट गया

हाथ की रेखा सो गयी रे

धूम-धड़ाक…

काली डायन रात में आई

सपने सब वो ढो गयी रे

धूम-धड़ाक…

खोजो-खोजो ढूंढ निकालो

भागादौड़ी हो गयी रे

घर में चोरी हो गयी रे

चीज़ काम की खो गयी रे

धूम-धड़ाक जोर लगा

धूम-धड़ाक शोर मचा

...रात है , रात है...

2010-03-22T17:52:00.004+05:30

यह गाना मैंने 'बोलती दुनिया'/'चरैवेति-चरैवेति' play के लिए लिखा था.

रात है , रात है l

कही-सुनी इक बात है ll

बिल्ली चीखे कुत्ते रोये

सुबह का सूरज नींद में सोये

कानी लोमड़ी की घात है

रात है , रात है l

कही-सुनी इक बात है ll

साँप है चढ़ता सीढ़ी फिसले

चला जो पासा फिर न निकले

हर कोई खाता मात है

रात है , रात है l

कही-सुनी इक बात है ll

...PAF review : RAMLEELA

2010-03-19T13:36:00.001+05:30

After a long time well determined to write reviews for all d PAFs.So here it goes...
PAF Ramleela(H4+H10+H13)...some freshie guy had problem yesterday dat why 'H13,H10 & H4 presents...' has been announced and why not 'H4,H10 & H13...' So here i kept dat in my mind.

Trailer- 1min 44 sec video was pretty gud dat i can clearly point out some characters of Ramayana in the trailer like Ram,Sita,Laxman & Ravan.Background score was very gud and in short 'मस्त trailer था' ।

Preview- 'Humari theme hi USP hai'
'Light to infy God hai,Moon ka use to bahut jyada mast hai,ekdum kadak hai'
'All choreos carry forward the stroy,they are not just only dance'
'Undoubtedly I guess aaj tak ka PAF ka sabse achchha prod hai'

National Anthem--> A new start ever of a PAF.If next team repeats it,it will be said 'start of a new tradion to start the PAF'.Though some people confuse that it can't be sung after sunset and so, i believe like a true patriot you can sing it any time, with full respect and proud in your heart.Time bound is not mentioned in the government site.

Concept & Story--> It was very nice to hear dat 'रामलीला का कलियुगी version कर रहे हैं'.In fact,kuchh mahine pahle I was planning for the modern version of 'Chanakya'.Still it is pending,so felt ki will be inspired after watching this one.Characterization of characters were enough clear,bt now i m raising the point dat how can a kaliyugi writer blame the character of Ram.Ram is well said as 'Maryada-Purushottam'.Now if we can think dat he has done wrong with Sita,den how can't Balmiky.What I know is it was not 'शक' which caused 'अग्नि-परीक्षा' of Sita,bt it was the priority among the duties of a king.I suggest dat if u are planning to write or say something about an epic or any character of epics like Ramayana,Mahabharata etc u must think and discuss it atleast 1000 times.In old ages there were system of 'ध्यान' & 'शास्त्रार्थ' for this purpose.In short,what I can say is it was a gud attempt with some misinterpretations of the Epic.

Dilogues & Script --> PAF is said to be something b/w Movie and dramatics.This PAF was more inclined towards the movie side.In PAF meetings when a person tells a theme or a story,very soon name of a movie is attached with dat one.It really irritates me.Bt this time to be very honest some movies hit my mind while watching this 'Ramleela',these are DEVD,Satya,Sarkar and character of Agyeya as Rishi kapoor of Love Aajkal.Some dialogues which are like 'इतना वफादार कि आसानी से साथ न छोड़े' to my 'जुबान' are - 'Rum white Rum','Main aa raha hoon','Lagta hai mere baap ne Hizron ki fauz khadi ki hai'.A very few Fatte like 'mujhe gaadna nahi,jalaa dena,warna saans lene mein takleef hogi' were in the script which almost didn't work bt at the same time didn't be the cause for mass-calling of Daya.Thanx to the GS Cult for the threat of disciplinary action and to junta which is perhaps enough matured and behave patiently now.Idea of shadow theater didn't work properly,while it was a gud attempt.

Acting & Voice-over --> Simply i can say perhaps they were not in mood yesterday.While sitting behind the judges i clearly saw that कुछ लोगों को याद दिलाना पड़ रहा था कि अभी तेरा voice-over है.The lead actor was doing thikthak bt for all actors they must know the most fundamental rule of acting 'Be in character which has been given to u.This rule becomes spcl here bcz u all are representing the characters of Ramayan.There were lack of co-ordinations b/w voice-over & Acting.What i suggest to future PAFians dat try to co-ordinate and voice-over junta ko kabhi kabhi sir uthakar dekhna chahiye ki saamne kya chal raha hai.Agyeya was very gud in acting and his voice-over which was being given by Moti I'm sure was very gud.Also the voice-over of that Police wala in Bar was very gud.Gazab ka voice-over was given by Deepika for the 'Godmother' Bhavna.ek baar to main sach mein darr gaya tha.Some of the voice-over were low in tempo i felt.

Music--> The song I liked most was Ram-siya-ram,Many of original compositions.Music team infy happy hogi,they were on stage in the light for the 1st time till date.Thanx to Director for this initiative.Lyrics and rest all music were also enough gud.

Choreo--> I don't have so much idea abt choreo,some of which i liked was the Ram-Ravan seq. done by Nithya and Aishwarya and the 2nd one was the part of a choreo the guy playing with his cap.There was lack of co-ordinations here also.Steps of dancers most of the time were not able to generate a resonance. As said in preview 'All choreos carry forward the stroy,they are not just only dance',Aam junta was not convinced with the statement.

Prod & the most energatic Prod-Junta--> There were gud points in Prod.It was the 1st PAF in which the central stage prod were being changed in scenes.The beauty of Piano and the Lion-head fountain was not visible from the back-seat bt I saw it in preview and after PAF.The Bar was actually looking like a bar bt wall of the central stage prod was looking as if it was painted in Chuna(use distemper next time if the family having that villa is so rich.)
High energy causes less stability.इन पंक्तियों को चरितार्थ किया था कल की prod team ने.Many times there was a mass movement of prod team which seemed like not instructed properly dat wat to do and in which direction to move.

Light wala --> 'इतना अँधेरा क्यूँ है भाई',everyone was either saying this quot or atleast felt like this.A series of mistakes.In preview it was said "Light to infy God hai,Moon ka use to bahut jyada mast hai,ekdum kadak hai."Now no one will dare to say like this now.

Costume --> OK types.

Time-penalty --> The team was instructed to stop the PAF bcz it crossed the time 10 pm.There was a video perhaps which they cudn'd show due to this.The rule is that u can't exceed this time,and also if u cross the duration-limit of 75 min. u will be penalized.This one is a lesson for rest teams to re-evaluate the time-duration of paf.

Final words --> All I always appreciate is the effort made,after all nobody is professional here.They have made an effort,which must be appreciated.It became more like a run-thru than a final presentation due to lack of practice-time and other causes I think.If it were a movie,i wud suggest re-work on it and again release it after removing the dark sides,it wud be fine,bt u know it isn't.

..."हैप्पी वैलेंटाइन डे"

2009-02-14T19:26:00.000+05:30

"रिक्शावाले अंकल,आपने आंटी को वैलेंटाइन डे विश किया?"
"क्या किया!?"
"अरे आपने आंटी को हैप्पी वैलेंटाइन डे कहा?"
"ये क्या होता है?"
"अरे आपको वैलेंटाइन डे नहीं पता!मैं बताती हूँ,जब कोई लड़का किसी लड़की से बहुत प्यार करता है तो उसको आज के दिन हैप्पी वैलेंटाइन डे कहता है"
"तो हम आप ही से कह देते हैं..."
"धत,आप तो एकदम से बुद्धू हैं,अरे ये वाला प्यार नहीं,'वो वाला प्यार' "
" 'वो वाला प्यार' मतलब क्या?"
"अरे मुझे शर्म आती है,किसी से कहना नहीं तो बताती हूँ,अरे ' वो' मम्मी-पापा वाला प्यार,अंकल आंटी वाला प्यार और सोनू भैया और उनके क्लास की प्रिया दी वाला प्यार"
छोटी सी बच्ची साँसों के सहारे 'कोई सुन न ले' वाली अदा में सब कुछ सुनाती चली गयी
"हाँ हाँ नंदू बिटिया मैं सब समझ गया,अब जल्दी से क्लास जाओ,मैडम आती ही होंगी"
नंदू यानि कि राजनंदिनी रिक्शे से उतर कर झटपट क्लास की ओर भाग चली
"अरे संभल के"
"मुझे कुछ नहीं होगा,I'm a complan girl,और हाँ किसी से आज वाली बात बताना मत "
और फिर नंदू एक झटके में क्लास के अंदर चली गयी.

थका हारा अब्दुल रात को घर लौटा तो फिर से वही पुरानी नुकीली चिरचिराई सी आवाज कानों पे नगाड़े बजाने लगी
"आ गए?और थोड़ा Late से आते,देह में पाव भर का मांस तो बचा नहीं है,काहे नहीं जवान छोकरे को रिक्शा चलाने भेज देते हो,पढ़ लिख के कलक्टर तो नहिये न बनेगा,अब हमारा तो इस घर में सुनने वाला कोई है नहीं,कौन पाप किये थे जो ई घर में ..."
"ए बुढ़िया,ज़रा पानी लेके आओ,पूरे दिन बरबर करते रहती है" अब्दुल कहते हुए झोली के अन्दर कुछ टटोलने लगा
"हाँ आते हैं,कहते हैं कि दो दो बेटी निकाह के लिए...लो पियो खूब पानी,खाना तो दो टाइम ठीक से खाओगे नहीं..."
"ग्लास दोगी???"
"हाँ तो लो न,हम कहाँ अपने लिए..."
"देखो तुम्हारे लिए कुछ लाये हैं" कहते हुए अब्दुल ने फूलों का गजरा और बाल में लगाने वाला तेल फरीदा(बुढ़िया) के सामने रख दिया
"और एक ठो बात कहें?...हैप्पी वैलेंटाइन डे"
"धत बुड्ढा,ई बुढापा में जवानी चढ़ गया है क्या फिर से" अब्दुल को इस बार फरीदा कि आवाज में अजब सी मिठास घुली मालूम हुई
"तू पहले से जानती है क्या वैलेंटाइन डे के बारे में???"
"हाँ जहाँ काम करते हैं न,वहां साब मेमसाब को यही कह-कह के चुम्मा-चाटी कर रहा था"
कहते हुए जब तक फरीदा पलटी,अब्दुल बिलकुल पास आ चुका था और दबे होठों से गुनगुना रहा था "ऐ मेरी जौहरो-जबीं,तुझे मालूम नहीं,तू अभी तक है हसीं और मैं जवाँ"
"हट बुड्ढे,तनिक शर्म भी नहीं आती"

...Bean-bag की आगोश में ...

2009-02-13T15:33:00.000+05:30

ज़ो स्वाद तुम्हारे हाथ की
सूखी रोटी और चटनी में था,
वह लाख तसल्लियों के बाद भी
'चीज-बर्स्ट पिज्जा' में नहीं आता।

तेरी फ़टी-पुरानी साड़ी के आँचल में
जो सुकून मिला करता था,
वह आराम आज 'बीन-बैग' में
समा जाने से भी नहीं आता।

आम की टहनियों में बँधे
'टायर' के झूले पे जो चेहरा खिला था,
एच.एन.की ट्वाय-कारों की टक्करों में
उसका एक अंश भी न पा सका।

गंगा को स्पर्श कर छत से गुजरती
ठंडी बयार ने जो झपिकयाँ दी
कमरे के ए.सी. की 'कंडीशंड'
हवाएं वो सुकून न दे पायीं।

एक प्रश्न करता हूँ स्वयं से कि
क्यूँ कल का स्वच्छन्द मन आज
बँध चुका है सांसारिक पाश में।

एक प्रश्न करता हूँ स्वयं से कि
क्यूँ शामिल हैं हमारे कदम भी
आधुनिकता की अंधी दौड़ में।

और ऐसे ही कई सवालों से जूझता
एक और प्रश्न करता हूँ स्वयं से कि
क्यूँ सिर्फ सवाल-दर-सवाल किये जाता हूँ।

और फिर जवाबों की तलाश में
बीन-बैग पे करवट-दर-करवट
पूरी रात आँखों मे काट जाता हूँ।

...परिणाम

2009-02-13T13:58:00.000+05:30

यह कोई सत्ता का संघर्ष नहीं
इसमें चीखें तो हैं किन्तु चिर शांत
रक्त तो बहते हैं,पर मृत्यु नहीं होती I

टक्कर तलवारों की नहीं
विचारों की होती है I
और,घायल हर क्षण
एक ही ह्रदय होता है I

इक लड़ाई
जो वर्षों से चली आ रही है
मुझमें और मुझ ही में I

परिणाम शायद न है
और न मैं सोच पाता हूँ I
वैसे भी यह मेरा काम नहीं I
न सोचा था इसे
कुरुक्षेत्र के मैदान ने
और न ही परातंत्रता की वेदना झेलती
संपूर्ण भारत-भूमि ने I

किन्तु एक आशा
जो कुरुक्षेत्र की भी थी
और भारत-भूमि को भी,
मैं भी करता हूँ
कि
'परिणाम हो,परिणाम हो'I

...कौन हो तुम कामिनी !

2009-02-13T13:19:00.000+05:30

सुमन ने मुस्कान सीखी
कोकिला ने तान सीखी

हंस ने सीखी तुम्ही से

मंद गति गजगामिनी
कौन हो तुम कामिनी !

सादगी दर्पण की सी है
स्वप्न स्वर्गों के कपोत
केश नीरद की धरोहर
नयन चंचल दामिनी
कौन हो तुम कामिनी !

...मिलोगे मुझसे ?

2009-02-08T19:21:00.001+05:30

मिलोगे मुझसे?
शायद नहीं जानते मुझे
इसलिए मिलना चाह्ते हो
यहाँ एक राही पड़ा है
थका हारा अकेला मजबूर
राह तकता मौत की
क्यूंकि अब चल न पायेगा
एक भी कदम.
और दूसरी कोई मंजिल नहीं
जो खुद चलकर आती हो
मुसाफिर तक.
हमारी दुनिया मे मुसाफिर नहीं
रास्ते चला करते है
और शायद मंजिल भी.
वो देखो चली आ रही है.
अब कहो,मिलोगे मुझसे??

'ना' नहीं कह पाओगे
इन्सान हो न.
देखा है मैने भी
तुम्हारी तन्हाईयो को
झूठी शान
भूखे मान को
इंसानियत को और
इंसानियत की धज्जियों को.
एक धुन्धला चश्मा जो सबकी
आँखों पे लगा है.
हटा न पाओगे
क्यूंकि हिम्मत नहीं है
सच्चाई दिख जायेगी,है न!
तो फिर मिलोगे कैसे मुझसे???

नहीं दिखता मै कुहासे मे
हटाओ ये धुआँ
या फिर उसे
जिससे उठ रहा ये धुआँ
जानता हूँ मुश्किल है
नामुमिकन तो नहीं
एक कदम तो बढ़ाओ
तो पाओगे कि शायद
साथ ही तो हूँ मै तुम्हारे.

अब कहो,मिलोगे मुझसे?