Lisa's Life Lessons

Stalking isn't fun when

2012-02-23T22:30:00.000-05:00

"An individual

who secretly looks up people on facebook,

going through

albums, comments

and personal information

to piece together

a picture of this person.

Potentially developing

into

an obsession."

- Urban Dictionary

Stalking isn't fun anymore when...

...you realize the addiction to stalking is just a way to postpone doing things that will actually move you forward in life.

...you find actual satisfaction in relationships with actual people in real life.

...you give up attempting to control and manipulate others by monitoring everything in an attempt to concoct counter-measures.

...you still the restless addict in your spirit with spiritual practice and discipline.

...you work on developing yourself rather than dwelling on "what might be" with your favorite online phantom.

...you have a what-the-f*ck-am-I-doing moment and get on with your life.

...you're too tired from living a full productive day and have no energy to spend obsessing.

...you learn to live in the present with people who actually appreciate you.

...you finally let go.

...
..
.

40 Days Later

2012-02-22T21:41:00.001-05:00

I have made commitments for Lent.
One is to give up Slim Jims. I sure do love those awful things.
Bad food. No brainer.

I will do my butt cheek stretches (difficult) 3 to 5 times daily.
Easier said than done.

I will pray the Rosary every day.

And the Grand Dame of all commitments...
I will not sit unless absolutely necessary.

Oh, the not-sitting is not easy.
Of course I have to sit to drive.
I have to sit in certain business situations.
I sat in church today.
But now?
I am standing as I blog.

This might not sound like a big deal, but it is.
I spend lots of time online doing work.
Blogging daily.
Course work.
Email answering.
Facebooking.
Tumblring
Tweeting.
And reading.

No sitting at the computer for 40 days will be a mega challenge.
My feet already hurt.
I am taking breaks to recline or lean over the couch arm.
What have I gotten myself into??

This is crazy, but...and everyone loves a big BUTT...
at the end of 40 days I'll be better.
Today at Mass, Fr Jim asked us to think about what we'll be like after 40 days of our Lenten commitment.
I thought about it.
My butt cheek will be healed.
I'll have a stronger body.
I'll have a sense of accomplishment that glows.

I'll feel better.
Right?

I declare it so.
...
..
.

Today at Mass, Fr Jim talked about what we'll be like after 40 days of our Lenten commitment. I thought about it.

A Fitness Class

2012-02-21T22:51:00.000-05:00

I stepped WAYYYYY out of my comfort zone tonight and attended a fitness class.
We worked with weights.
I hated it.

Therefore I'll be going back.
I believe that when we have an intense emotional reaction to something there must be a lesson in it for us.
I'll go again and look for the lesson.
I hate being defeated by discomfort.

And good thing I grabbed the little weights (3 lbs).
One of the ladies suggested I use them since it was my first time.
Good suggestion.

I didn't want to break a sweat. I didn't want to get too out of breath.
My temp 2 hours after the class? 97.9
Not too bad. Not good, but not bad.

Sometimes after my workouts with Andrew my temps drop down into the 96s.
Not optimal.

I want to get strong and I want to heal metabolically.
It's a tricky balance.

Since I was working with the baby weights I was able to keep up with the class, except for one exercise: the calf lifts.
The calf lifts involve standing on tip toe and dipping up and down without letting your heels touch the floor.
Andrew gave me a silent signal that I could let my heels touch the floor (that's the way we do them in my workouts), but even so, I had a really hard time keeping up with the class. When the class was doing them in double time I had to do them at half pace.
I modified.
It pissed me off that I couldn't keep up.

There was a point during the class that I felt like I was going to pass out. I don't know if it was a blood sugar dip, but it felt like the floor was being slid around beneath me and I was going to hit it. I think it's because my body is used to getting a pretty constant flow of nutrients during my private workouts. He has me sipping my shake chased with orange juice every 15 minutes (smart).
The little sips of orange juice tonight may not have been enough.
Or maybe it was my Qi healing today that left me in a state.

Yes, I will blog about the Qi healing.
Not today.

I'm feeling a little woozy right now.

But I did something tonight that made me uncomfortable. I worked out in a room full of other people for the first time since 2007.
I did something uncomfortable and I lived to tell the tale.

Now I'd like to do it with heavier weights, able to do the calf lifts, without the fainting feeling, and without hiding out in the back corner of the room like a miserable coward.

Yep.
I hid.
I wanted to ooze right out of the emergency exit.

That's why I'll go back.

I must face my fear, let it pass over me and through me leaving me stronger in its wake!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
How do we know when it's fear or intuition?
Rhonda let's us know.
click here or click below

Leggo my Ego

2012-02-20T23:48:00.001-05:00

"To make the whole world Neil…

everything you ever…

and I won’t feeeeeeel a thing."

- Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog

Tomorrow I go to a Qi healer to get my issues knocked out of me.
Good.
I'm tired of being a slave to my past.
My issues don't need to live with me for the rest of my life.
Do they?

What would the world be like if I didn't see it through the lens of my "story" about it?

Let's say my story is something like,
"Everyone who says they love me abandons/hurts me emotionally."

The mind works to convince itself that it is right/sane.
Our minds (powerful, ego-driven) will work to create the circumstances to match our story. We have subconscious programs that will draw the right circumstances to confirm our deeply held beliefs.
Sometimes we subconsciously try hard to prove they're not true while causing all kinds of emotional turmoil for ourselves and others.
Then the turmoil drives them away and we get to fulfill our prophecy.

Either way our stories run us if we let them.
We're human.
It's hard not to let them.

It can take a lifetime (or a half of one for some of us who are lucky)
to discover the old tapes running,
to eject the tapes,
then to record
and play new ones.

According to the Qi guy I'm seeing tomorrow I have emotions stuck in my upper back.
Yep.
I can totally see the truth of that.
Old tapes from years of being bullied.
Old tapes of being put down by authority figures, feelings of unworthiness.
Old tapes of betrayal in relationships.
Mistrust.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop emotionally.
Expecting the worst.
Unworthiness.

There are ways to eject the old tapes.
Meditation.
Prayers.
Oils and affirmations.
Qi work.
Mental discipline.
Loving peace rather than emotional turmoil.
Embracing spiritual discipline rather than the condition of addiction.

I'm recognizing my patterns.
I'm recognizing my need for emotional chaos.
I'm recognizing my seemingly bottomless need for approval, reassurance, being needed.

Though I'm learning all this about myself, I'm not going to beat myself up over any of it.
We all have our ego patterns to recognize and engage with.
It's ok to be human.

We can change the patterns but it depends on how curious we are about the other way of living.
It depends on our faith in happiness, our faith in the ability of peace to bring that happiness.

A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.
- Yoda

That's me.
The daydreamer.
The fairy tale future looker.
The grass is always greener-er.
The what-iffer.
The disciplined in one sense but fairy-taler in another.

Maybe I'll learn to be content with my blessings in the present.
Maybe I'll learn to be happy in the calm, peaceful way.

Or I'll just crave adventure, excitement and create those circumstances that bring adventure and excitement and be emotionally addled.

Or some third option.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
I am SO going to teach this form to my Meditation and Healing class on Thursday. The subtitles make this series of movements easy to remember. Maybe my restless spirit can be healed through Qi Gong.
Maybe that's why it found me.
click here or click below

Legalize Seafood

2012-02-19T18:27:00.001-05:00

"80-100 grams of protein
from dairy
is not an easy
or cheap accomplishment.
Enter shellfish.
Oysters,
crab,
and clams
contain an abundant amount of
vitamin A,
zinc,
copper and selenium,
which are all needed
for proper hormone synthesis.
Besides being, for the most part,
more nutrient-dense than muscle meat,
shellfish boast a slightly more desirable
amino acid profile."

- Danny Roddy in Peat-atarianism

Shellfish is on my Green-light foods list from Josh Rubin, preferably wild raised.
Farm raised seafoods are fed unnatural feed from soy, corn and wheat.

What do I mean by unnatural?

Fish don't eat soy, corn, and wheat in the wild. Farmed fish have too high of an Omega 6 content which interferes with the Omega 3 fatty acids that seem to be all the rage in mainstream health (it's the rage in radical health too, but there is a distinction between farm raised and wild fishes as a caution so you actually get the Omega 3s!)

I have no idea where Legal Seafoods gets their fish, the ocean or a farm, but damn, their fish is good!

My mother and I went there for lunch yesterday. She had the salmon (made to perfection) and I had the scallops (also perfect). I started with a shrimp cocktail. The only place I've ever had such perfectly prepared seafood was in Provincetown, Mass. Super fresh and made delectably. Based on flavor and presentation I highly recommend Legal Seafoods!

My mother, being chatty and flamboyant, started talking to the waiters. She did her usual "How old am I?" game where the waiter under-guesses and she feels flattered. They always do under-guess. My mother looks great for 89.

She told the stunned waiters that she grew up eating lots of shellfish (that she dove for and shucked herself in the Long Island Sound), field greens, olive oil, raw dairy, and simple, peasant foods.

A waitress, overhearing all this, introduced herself as a nutrition student. She said she was always looking for interesting people to interview for her graduate work. The waitress and I got to talking. I told her that I weighted 420 pounds at my heaviest. This usually impresses them enough to listen to my radical nutrition reports.

Motioning to the place around us I announced that eating shellfish was wonderfully good for people...and she cut me off by saying, "In moderation."

I agreed that everything should be considered in moderation and kept talking.

But my mind is a little blown by the knee-jerk reaction emblazoned into her psyche by the American Dietary Association and it's dark empire. "In moderation" usually means that the thing in question is somehow "bad" for a person. If we had had the time I would have asked about indigenous people who live on the sea. Do they need to eat shellfish in moderation? It's probably the staple of their diet. I don't think shellfish in moderation applies to all humans.

It's such a crock the way "moderation" is used as a way to neglect a food that might actually have therapeutic benefit if eaten regularly.
Like sugar.
I am slowly REVERSING my Type 2 diabetes with dietary interventions (and oils and exercise and happiness). I go through a third of a pound of white sugar per week. Yes, you read that right. I stir it into my shakes and use it liberally in teas and coffees. Half a pound of sugar a week is not moderation, but if I mentioned it to an ADA trained student? They'd tell me to cut way back on it. They'd tell me to cut back on it WITHOUT ASKING what my results were.

Cured anemia? Reversing Type 2 diabetes?
They don't care. They've been trained in moderation. Chicken breast on whole wheat bread with salad and low cal dressing is what they'd feed me if I let them tell me what to eat.

I won't.

I gave her my card and told her I give talks on nutrition and other health issues.

I can't imagine the faces on the students if I told them what I eat.

They wouldn't believe my diet to be beneficial.

They would ignore my positive results and say eating the way I do is not good in the long term.

Funny, that's the same thing I say about their way of eating.

Not really funny at all.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

People think carbs are bad.

They're not.
Nature put them there for us to eat (meaning fruits, tubers, not so many grains).

High protein diets like Paleo, keto, Atkins initiate a hormonal response that causes inflammation and leads to a hypo-metabolic state..meaning NOT GOOD.

Also some interesting information about cholesterol in this video.

click here or click below

intervention

2012-02-18T22:43:00.000-05:00

For the first time in 10 years my university has forgotten to pay me.
I'm on direct deposit and rarely check to see if/when my pay has gone through.
That's a mistake I won't make again.
My rent check bounced because I wrote it against funds I thought were there but weren't.

I was so hurt, shocked, angry and upset when I discovered this mess.

I sent the requisite emails and I'm sure things will be taken care of, but I'm still shaken by the event.

My chest felt like it was full of hornets.

Quickly I fetched my Peace and Calming oil and inhaled a couple of drops from my palms.
It helped.

Now I'm going to drink some orange juice with salt in it to combat the adrenaline response.

Deep breathing too.

I tell my students that we have control of our Effort our Attitude and our Response to life events. I will now do my best to set a good example.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Orange juice with salt downregulates adrenaline and cortisol.
It does lots of other awesome stuff too.
Listen to Josh.
click here or click below

Negatron

2012-02-17T18:04:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's ok to be a Negatron
if you want to be.

We put too much emphasis on positivity sometimes. We forget that a full range of emotions is part of a rich human experience. A full range of emotions leads to a full life, or at least that's what certain experts say.

I don't know anymore.

I do know that we have plenty of emotional intensity attached to experiences that have hurt us in the past. As part of our built in survival mechanisms our threatening experiences are stronger in our memories and are more easily recalled. This is part of the hard wiring that keeps us alive. We avoid dangerous situations ( yes, even emotionally dangerous) because they are a threat to our survival. Having a stronger imprint from our negative experiences keeps us safe.

But those are automatic instincts for survival.
We are thinking creatures, self aware.
We think about thinking.
We're not merely automatic.
We can take a step back and look at what our psychological hard wiring has programmed us to do and make a different choice about how to behave or think.

We can choose to dwell on the negative, replaying hurtful events over and over in our minds, or we can choose to dwell on more uplifting things.

Here's the rub: neither is right or wrong.

It's not wrong to be a dweller on the negative
nor is it right to be a dweller on the positive.
They are just ways of being.
Nobody wins.
We all die in the end.
Optimists don't beat death.

So why all the talk about positive thinking?
There must be something about happiness that we find desirable.
We SAY we want to be happy.
When we're happy we seem to like it.

But the addiction to sorrow, victimization, despair, woe-is-me, can yank us back into the pits of doom and gloom, and the pits feel familiar, we almost get pleasure out of being there.
Sometimes I think we do get actual pleasure out of being there.

Is it right or wrong?

I dunno.
There are consequences.
Cause effect.
Karma to consider.
Other people.
Our life's goals.

Perhaps the benefits of struggling to overcome one's own nature creates a stronger spirit?
What good is a strong spirit exactly?
People with strong spirits die too soooo...

Again it comes down to personal choice.
How do we want to live?

I've been crying every day since the week before the Super Bowl (Sorrow Bowl).
My major complaints about that are that I have headaches and my eyes are puffy.
I have just been letting myself cry.
I feel like I'm Spring cleaning early, like the crying is cleaning out my pipes or something.
Part of me is enjoying it.
I don't like feeling emotionally dead.
I'd rather feel something than nothing.

Is all this crying really good for me?
I don't know.

I't's not like I'm sad all the time.
I've had plenty of happiness lately, too.

I could go huff some oils (Joy oil is good for the boo-hoos)
but I just cry instead.
Get it up and get it out.
Feel what I'm feeling.
See what happens.

I'm a see-what-happens kinda gal.

On Tuesday I go for energy healing from the Qi worker I met last Saturday.
I will be interested to hear what he says about all the boo hooing.

Maybe sadness is percolating to the top so it may be exorcised and I can experience some real happiness.

We'll see.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Or maybe I just need to punch something.
I know you're thinking that it's me in the video.
Nope.
It's Master Samuel DeJesus of American TKD with his
awesome wife. They hosted the Qi Gong event last weekend.
Not all martial artists are shaped like Uma Thurman. Just sayin'.
click here or click below

royal gelatin

2012-02-17T00:06:00.001-05:00

"While a priestess chants invocations,
Daenerys, on a round pedastal,
takes big bites out of a raw horse’s heart,
blood running all over her face.
Khal Drogo looks on encouragingly...

...After the final bite,
Daenerys falls forward and makes a retching noise,
vomiting into her hand.
Everything stops.
She eats the thrown-up heart out of her hand.
She sits up again,
and swallows,
gazing into the eyes of her Khal.
He nods.

...Drogo lifts Daenerys down from the pedastal
and just keeps walking with her.
Man, he’s strong.
Jorah tells Viserys
“She truly is a queen today.”

- Game of Thrones The Golden Crown recap

I am so amused to find out

that the stunt heart used in this scene

is made of gummi bears...in other words:

gelatin.

How funny is that?

Ok, well I found it hilarious.

I stir gelatin into my beverages

(the green container from Great Lakes).

and I snack on gummi bears when I need quick sugar delivery.

I talk about gelatin and its anti inflammatory properties.

I recommend it to people.

Looks like it's the snack of royalty according to the Game of Thrones prop department.

I couldn't be happier.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

Most meats contain gluten.

Yep.

That's because they feed the animal grains that contain gluten.

Great Lakes gelatin contains NO gluten.

Let Josh explain all of gelatin's benefits
and why it's anti-inflammatory..
It's ft for a queen :-)

click here or click below

Nonno's Last Poem

2012-02-15T23:59:00.002-05:00

How calmly does the olive branch
Observe the sky begin to blanch
Without a cry, without a prayer
With no betrayal of despair

Some time while night obscures the tree
The zenith of its life will be
Gone past forever
And from thence
A second history will commence

A chronicle no longer gold
A bargaining with mist and mold
And finally the broken stem
The plummeting to earth; and then

An intercourse not well designed
For beings of a golden kind
Whose native green must arch above
The earth's obscene, corrupting love

And still, the ripe fruit and the branch
Observe the sky begin to blanch
Without a cry, without a prayer
With no betrayal of despair

Oh courage! Could you not as well
Select a second place to dwell
Not only in that golden tree
But in the frightened heart of me?

- Tennessee Williams, Nonno's poem from
Night of the Iguana
...
..
.

Valen-hope

2012-02-14T18:28:00.000-05:00

I love my new knees.
It's true.
I love that they work.
I love being up on my feet.
I love that I could have tossed that wheelchair over a cliff if I wanted to (I gave it to my arthritic mother).
I love having another chance to experience life without a cane or crutches despite the cautious warnings of the don't-get-your-hopes-up crowd.

I got my hopes up.
My hopes paid off.

At the Qi Gong seminar on Saturday I spoke with the instructor after class. The dojang's master was sitting right next to me. I said that I know my new knees are made of titanium but that I wanted to own them as if they were flesh and bone by infusing them with Qi.

Neither man batted an eye or looked surprised by my declaration, as if I had said the most normal, believable thing in the world.
Now, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!

These are the kinds of people I am blessed to have in my life.
The faithful.
The disciplined.
The spirit-infused.

The instructor talked about Love.
He said that the universe burst forth from a singularity because it wanted to share itself.
We live in a universe born of Love.
How can we ever be without it when we're swimming in Love like a fish swims in water?

It's Valentine's Day and it's easy to give in to the temptation to feel the lack of whatever it is we think we want.
Yes, it would be lovely to get tokens of affection.
It's perfectly human to feel a little "left out" when you see other people getting stuffed animals and flowers.
I'm a Leo. I like gifts.
Maybe watching the happy couples doing sweet things for each other made me shed a tear or two today, I admit it, but I figured I'd snap myself out of it by concentrating on a big blessing in my life.

Being able to walk is a BIG blessing.
Getting my hopes up and having them fulfilled
is a HUGE blessing.

I magnify that.
Truly.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
I also magnify things that make me smile.
Dr. Horrible interrupts the Emmy Awards!
Love the term "sofa monkeys"
Buffering joke: hilarious.
Captain Hammer: priceless.
click here or click below

Eat Cake

2012-02-13T22:58:00.000-05:00

"I still get frustrated on the inside.
I am fighting not the other person
but I am fighting within myself.
That is what happens
when you over think.
You end up thinking
and thinking
and thinking
until you end up
doing nothing...

...I think,
which takes time.
Time takes energy.
Energy is used
but not directed
where it is needed.
Result:
kick in the jaw. ...

...simple actions.
It doesn't have to be difficult to do.
It's just what works.
But I have to act!
Can't think and plan.
So I have to program my body
to do what works
when it is supposed to be done,
without thinking.
Simple
in action,
simple
in thought."

- A. Trento in Simple Sparring

When I get my calories up (between 1500 and 1800)
I feel better,
my temps go up
and my body releases weight.
When I can't get enough food in,
I feel sluggish and bloated.
My temps drop below 97.

Eat more to feel better.
Simple right?

Sigh.

I still battle with the old demons of dieting that say I'm a "good" person if I resist food.
That mindset will kill me if I don't overcome it.
It's hard to overcome a lifetime of programming.

Josh suggests drinking orange juice with meals.
I will.
I do.
I know I can eat more often if I put my mind to it.
Like Matt Stone says, in the beginning of metabolic healing you have to force feed yourself.
I'm so used to a lifetime of forcing myself to starve, forcing myself to eat is a new skill.

I was at a Valentine/Birthday celebration on Saturday and delicious ice cream cake was being passed around.
The celebrants were twin girls.
Two delicious ice cream cakes were being offered to guests in two flavors: chocolate and strawberry.
I refused every piece that was passed underneath my nose.
WHY??
I wasn't hungry.
I was also in public and I've learned that fat girls get dirty looks and judgement when they eat cake in public. So, I'd rather die than be judged??
I should have taken a few forkfuls of each cake.
I should have joined in the celebration and eaten.
It did no one any good to refuse that dessert. I need to stop thinking the old patterns and do what I know to be right.

How karmically poetic to be in this place.
After spending a lifetime wishing that I could eat a lot without negative consequence and here I am, struggling to eat enough.

Be careful what you wish for.

The healer I'm seeing next week, an expert in Qi Gong, is going to work on my metabolism with me. That would be helpful.
Right now my temperature is 96.9.
Not cool
(too cool if you want to be precise).

I also hope he can do something about my ripped butt cheek issue. I had to sit for a few hours today to do some computer work. I stood and walked and took breaks every 20 minutes or so, but I'm still in so much pain right now. I want this pain to be over with.
I want to heal.

Hear me universe?
It does.

My prayers are answered.

Opportunities present themselves to me at just the right time.

I put myself in the right place to receive blessings.

I take care of myself with a light heart.

I teach others.

Healing comes to me easily and abundantly.

I'm smiling from the bottom of my soul.

Every day in every way I get better and better.

Time for an Epsom salt bath.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Glucose is our cells' primary source of fuel.
Are my cells starving for glucose?
Ratios, portions, timing, quality, metabolic burden
...all considerations.
Bottom line: the body needs fuel!
Ya gotta eat.
I gotta eat.
click here or click below

Wuji Standing Meditation

2012-02-12T23:19:00.001-05:00

"Primordial Wuji Qigong form combines
tai chi, feng shui, chi kung (qigong),
and inner alchemy,
a powerful form of Taoist meditation.
It is designed to capture the primordial original yuan

"subtle breath" or chi ("qi")
flow of Heaven and Earth,
and fuse it into the human body.
It gathers chi inward to the core of one's being in
graceful beautiful, effortless spirals.
Primordial Wuji Qigong gradually dissolves
all the physical and karmic layers
of tension in both your physical
and Energy Body.
It ultimately opens up
a profound inner space
inside your body
where your Original Spirit,
the "face of your soul before you were born",
can reveal itself."

- Wuji QiGong

Standing for an hour and a half was painful for me,
but I did it.

I'm really good at placing myself in situations where I will push myself no matter how uncomfortable I am. Often I will use my pride (ego can be useful for "drive" says Sifu) to keep me from folding.
I really wanted to fold yesterday during the standing Qi Gong seminar, but I didn't want to appear weak in front of one of Andrew's mentors. I was at the Dojang of his Self-Defense mentor who is training Andrew in Krav Maga, Hapkido, and escape maneuvers. While Andrew hosted a movie night at TMAFC for his young students (the adorable kiddies who kill me with cuteness overload), I attended the Qi Gong seminar at American TKD in Rockaway, NJ.
The Master and his wife were hosting and participating in the Qi Gong event. I was very motivated to stay standing.

The Qi Gong teacher, Sal Canzonieri, gave us an introduction to Qi and how it flows. He distinguished between Pre-natal and Post-natal Qi. The Pre-natal Qi is the energy that burst forth the universe from a singularity to all this stuff (he used more elegant terminology). Post-natal Qi is our personal Qi that burst us forth from our mother's fertilized ovum. It's important to tap into Pre-natal Qi which is infinite so that we are not drained when we heal or run energy.

When he taught us to "get rid of" anything in our energy fields that didn't belong to us (a move that Sifu taught me a few weeks ago) he said to send it into Mother Earth. He explained that the earth turns everything into dirt. Even steel returns to the dust of the earth eventually. Earth breaks everything down. She is happy to take what is not ours and churn it back into the dirt.

He taught us how to breathe deeply, how to feel the Qi between our fingers, how to Qi-write into our palms, how to run energy up down and from side to side. He had us pull red earth Qi from the Earth's center and white Heaven Qi down from above to make pink swirling energy within. We learned some moves and stances. I'm summing this up rather shortly. It was a lot to learn in 90 minutes.

The energy work came easily to me.
I could feel the Qi molding between my hands like sparkling Play Doh made of light.
Easy breezy.

We did some Goal Imaging and manifesting.
We imagined prosperity and happiness and pulled it into our spirits and our bodies.
Again, easy for me.

But the standing?
Oof.
That was a problem.
My feet were on fire.
My upper back just above my bra line was screaming.
For the second half of the seminar I had to use all of my will to stand upright.
I kept shifting and moving on the mats to cool off my feet, kinda like finding the cold spot on the pillowcase. The instructor kept opening his eyes to look at me. I thought I was distracting him. He was sending me Qi to help me out. It kept me standing but didn't kill the pain. I toughed it out.

It was difficult but worth it.
I know I'll get stronger the more I do.
The energy work brought immediate results in my life.
Major happiness.

After the seminar (there's another one coming up on March 25th if you want to come with!)
I talked with the instructor who also works as a healer.
He saw/sensed some issues I could get help with. He suggested I seek out Rolfing to help with my slouching problem and by "slouching problem" it's my upper body slugging its way down into my rib cage.
I'm carrying emotional pain in my upper back.
I have adhesions on my meninges.
Father issues.
He held out his hand and immediately he started to pull pain out of me. His hand looked like it was clear glass filling with red smoky liquid. Andrew's master and I looked at each other as if to check to see that we weren't dreaming.
We weren't dreaming.
Or is all this life just one big dream?

If it is, mine is getting more and more interesting
and happier.

I can't wait to go back for more!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Looks easy.
It ain't.
Standing and breathing with intention is a discipline!
The instructor promised that we'll move next time to give beginners like me some relief :-)
click here or click below

chi chi

2012-02-12T02:33:00.000-05:00

"A Chi blast (aka Ki or Qi blast)

in the context of fiction,

is the ability

to shoot or release

an energy force

with the application of Chi,

from across a distance,

usually projected through the hands.

The ability commonly appears

in martial arts-theme anime/manga

(Dragon Ball, YuYu Hakusho),

fighting games (Street Fighter),

and wuxia films."

- Wikipedia

How funny.
I thought I had made up the term "Qi blast" back when Andrew inadvertently Qi blasted me on the night of October 4th into the morning of October 5th (click here). It was like someone turned the volume up on fear and bliss simultaneously. When the blast was finished, I no longer needed the opiate painkillers for my knee replacement surgery.

Qi blasting sounds like something out of science fiction or anime, and it often IS depicted there, but it is real.

Tonight I attended a Qi Gong healing and meditation seminar at American Taekwondo in Rockaway, NJ, the school of one of Andrew's mentors.

We learned to manipulate Qi

Qi, or life force energy, can be shaped and molded.
I felt like I was holding and molding Play Doh made out of sparkling light.

I'm worn out from my awesome but long day.
Will give you details tomorrow.

Speaking of molding energy,
we saw the movie 'Chronicle' tonight.
I highly recommend it.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Can you believe Goku's girlfriend is named Chi Chi?
Why am I not surprised!
She gives him quite the war cry when he doesn't recognize her.
click here or click below

2 10

2012-02-10T23:59:00.003-05:00

Teach it to Do it

2012-02-09T22:51:00.000-05:00

Watching my students do Qi Gong is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
They look so placid when they're moving in sync.
I can see their healing sweetness.
What a privilege.

I've been wanting to do Qi Gong for a few years now and just never got around to doing it. I wanted to make the commitment but never did.

So, I tricked myself.

I made a commitment to lead a Meditation and Healing for Beginners class at Montclair State University. By the way, it's free and open to the public! It happens every Thursday at 3:30pm in the Student Center room 112 which is our Spirituality Center. You're invited :-)

I made the commitment because I know how seriously I take my promises to students. Or promises in general, really.
I knew that if I said I would lead a Qi Gong workshop every week I would learn the forms well enough to teach them, and I would be doing them right along with the students (and faculty and staff).
It worked.

We do about a half hour of simple Qi Gong moves with deep breathing. Then we do a guided meditation.

That's how I'm Qi Gong-ing and meditating.
I teach!
We teach best what we most need to learn.

This Saturday I am taking a class in Qi Gong called
"Integrating Body, Mind and Spirit"
including:
Wuji Standing Meditation
Moving Qigong
Opening the 3 Centers
Healing, Purifying and Manifesting Qigong and
Guided Meditation

at American Taekwondo School
in Rockaway, NJ (click here for details)

Qigong at a Taekwondo school?
I couldn't be happier.

Learn.
Teach.
Learn some more.
Teach some more.
Fulfillment.

Expect Andrew and I to be teaching Tai Chi and Qi Gong
this spring at Trento's Martial Arts and Fitness.

Good things.

Life is full of good things.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Want to learn a few forms?
Just hop on YouTube and look for Qi Gong videos.
It's that easy.
click here or click below

Rep Me Out

2012-02-08T22:01:00.004-05:00

"Though they consumed

the same daily amount of calories,

'the participants in the low carbohydrate diet group

had less satisfaction,

and felt that they were not full,' she says,

noting that their cravings for sugars

and carbohydrates were more intense

and eventually caused them to cheat

on the diet plan.

'But the group that consumed a bigger breakfast,

including dessert,

experienced few if any cravings

for these foods later in the day.'

Ultimately, this shows that a diet

must be realistic

to be adopted as part of a new lifestyle.

Curbing cravings

is better than deprivation

for weight loss success,

Prof. Jakubowicz concludes."

- Top Off Breakfast With Dessert

When it comes to fitness there are very few people that I trust.
My functional medicine specialist, Josh Rubin of East West Healing, is my highest authority of what is and is not going to work for me,
but he's all the way across the country in San Diego.
I don't get to work out with him.

I am BLESSED with a trainer (he's much more than that to me but to lay it all out here would be like being in an avalanche and every snowflake is named Andrew Trento) who is willing to commiserate with Josh in developing the best training plan for me.
Josh favors reps over sets.
So does Andrew.
Guess who gets repped out 3 days a week for an hour at a time?

I'm not focused during my workouts.
I daydream.
I don't count the reps.
I let my mind wander to emotionally engaging things.
We converse.
He is silly and energetic and entertains me.
Sometimes he'll ask me how many reps I just did.
I'll have no idea.
I don't want to know.
It's a head trip.
If you tell me that we're going to do 50 lunges on each side I'll be tired before we start.
If you tell me we're going to do 160 crunches I'll feel fatigued sooner.

He is careful that I do things in proper form so as not to injure my neck or back.
Crunches are tricky.
He sets me up so that I work my abs properly.

He mixes up the styles.
40 crunches with feet on the floor and knees bent.
40 on each side with elbow across to knee (80)
40 with legs going up to ceiling (those are the hardest).

Don't be too impressed (be impressed)
cuz I'm not suffering as much as you think.
I do suffer during the actual workouts but the after-pain is not what the average Jillian experiences.
I'm not in that much pain right now a few hours post-workout (I will be tomorrow lol...but appropriately rather than injuriously).
WHY am I not in too much pain??

Epsom salt baths.
Aspirin.
Nutritional support.
Gelatin.
Essential oils.

Yes, all those things matter.
They all reduce inflammation.
They all support the body getting stronger rather than depleted.
If you work out hard and you're on a "diet"?
You're f*cked.
Your body will not build muscle.
Your body will not release weight.
You will damage your metabolism with disastrous effect.
You will lose motivation.

Athletes eat.
Believe me, I've seen them eat.
They eat.
They gravitate toward carbs and fat (I'm talking about the youngish ones who I spend time with between 18 - 27).
They're robust and have great stamina.
Poor eater? Poor stamina.
Dieter? Expect pain and soreness that makes you not want to go back to the gym.
Calorie restricting?
Expect fatigue and difficulty releasing weight.

Me?
I drink my raw milk, raw egg, fruit, salt and sugar shake plus orange juice on the side before, during and after my workout then come home and take a nice long deep nap (when my work schedule allows).
If I get the ouchies (I will. I'm not supergirl) I'll get into a hot Epsom salt bath and take two aspirin.
I'll inhale my Pan-Away oil and rub my Warrior III blend on my knees.
We call the day-after-ouchies "appropriate soreness".
Appropriate soreness is knocked down easily with nutritional support and nourishing interventions.

My nourished body doesn't hurt as badly as it would if I were living on chicken breast and salad with low fat dressing.
One must have:
Carbs.
Fats.
Proteins.
Salt.
Sugar.
Gelatin.
Nourishment!!

People who fear salt and sugar forget that nature put these things here on earth for our consumption and our thriving.
Splenda?
Truvia?
Not so much.
They don't provide energy.
The body doesn't assimilate them and turn them into energy output.

You want to be strong?
Eat.
Rest.
Exercise.
Eat.
Rest.
Bathe.

Think of happy things.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Pay attention to WHY he blindfolds the team captain.
They cut out the beginning where the coach says,
"your attitude is the aroma of your heart"
click here or click below

convey

2012-02-07T23:14:00.000-05:00

"It had to be easy

when it was just
simple survival.

'Water.'

We came up with a sound for that.

'Sabretooth tiger behind you!'

We came up with a sound for that...

...When I say 'love'

the sound comes out of my mouth

and it hits the other person’s ear,

travels through this byzantine conduit

in their brain

through their memories

of love

or lack of love.

And they register what I'm saying

and they say yes

they understand,

but how do I know?

...So much of what we perceive

cannot be expressed.

It’s unspeakable.

And yet,
you know,

when we communicate with one another

and we feel that we have connected

and we think we’re understood

I think we have a feeling

of almost spiritual communion.

...I think

it’s what we live for."

- Kim Krizan in 'Waking Life'

I have to remember that people don't always "get" things the way I intend them to be gotten.
What I say and the meanings I THINK are behind what I'm saying may be totally different than how people receive and interpret what I've said.

I forget that sometimes,
then I wonder why people react in a way
that makes no sense to me.
I'm assuming what I intended is what they've received.
Not always so.

I'm also guilty of leaving big important parts
out of the stories I tell,
not because I'm lying by omission,
but because I forget to set the stage
for the story,
or I assume (incorrectly) that the other person
knows what I'm talking about.

Let me see if I can think of an example.
Oh, the other night in class I was talking about Qi.
I was teaching them how to meditate and invite energy
to flow through their bodies.
I said things like, "send the energy into your hands"
and a student asked,
"Do you mean imagine the energy flowing into our hands?"

Yes.
That's what I meant.

I assumed they knew what "send the energy" meant.
Some of them had never even heard of 'Qi' before.
Thank goodness someone spoke up!

As one who thinks she's a good communicator
or at least strives to be,
I need to work on that.
I need to work on my empathy,
my intellectual empathy that is.

I have so much to convey but it will be more effective if
I can put myself in my audience's place.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Language came from our desire to transcend our isolation...
click here or click below

Awkward Like a Teenager

2012-02-06T23:24:00.001-05:00

I didn't have a normal teenage-hood.
My boyfriend was 9 years older than I was.
For the most part, I didn't socialize with kids from my own high school.
I spent ages 17 - 20 on crutches with a cast on my leg.
My only extra-curricular activity was concert choir and madrigals, which I excelled at, but somehow I didn't fit in socially with anybody outside of rehearsals. My senior year I was elected choir president (I was popular but anti-social, both at the same time)
but was home-schooled because of my leg so I ran my presidency from my bedroom phone. How did we live before cell phones and the internet??

The closest thing to hanging out and socializing with my local peer group happened in my junior year of high school when I was in the school play. There were lots of hours after school. Lots of hanging out waiting backstage. Lots of going out to diners and for pizza.
Cast parties.

As a Senior I "lettered" in performing arts.

Still, I felt in but out.
I never understood light-socializing.
I didn't get the rhythm of friends good-naturedly ripping on each other.
I never got the hang of "hooking up" (still don't).
I'd look at groups and cliques laughing and talking and wondered what the hell they were saying.

In my 20's and 30's I was no better.
A party girl at new-wave clubs and rock bars, I wondered what the hell people were talking to each other about. My girlfriend Mary Anne always had something to say to people...for hours. I would stand there trying to look affable with a drink in my hand not knowing how to make small talk or big talk for that matter.
What the hell do people talk about in those kinds of social settings?
I rank and people watched.

I always felt like I was looking at everyone from a two way observation mirror. I could analyze but was barred from participating, mostly because I had no idea what to say.
Can you imagine that I now talk for a living?

Thing is, talking in front of a room is very different than talking while hanging out in groups.
Sometimes I still feel awkward with people.

I'm never sure when to go for the laugh or how not to step on someone else's joke.
I always seem to have something to add but after the subject has already changed.
Or I will say something but it's totally non sequitur and inappropriate.
Like Ralphie dropping his BB gun hint at the table in A Christmas Story...
"Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store!..
...They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears."

But I see the value in feeling one's way around the social awkwardness.
There's something about pecking one's way through a gathering, whether impromptu or planned, that helps to form a person socially.
I regret not being able to enjoy that more as a tween, teen, and new-adult.

Life has given me a second chance to be awkward and inappropriate.

Hanging out with Andrew and his Black Belts (and sometimes their families) feels exactly like the days of yore when I never felt I fit in.
But at my age, I understand it better.
Thing is, no one ever really feels like they fit in.
Everyone is a bit uncomfortable in groups.
We all worry that we will say or have said the wrong thing.
We all want to be funny and sometimes bomb.
We all try to keep the conversation going and sometimes fail.
We all have some level of social anxiety.
At the end of the night when I'm getting hugs and kisses goodbye, or when we're making plans for the next competition, or when we're talking about the next get-together, and they embrace me, include, me and really make me feel like they want me around, I get that warm sugary reassurance that I never really felt in the past.

I'm wanted.

I'm not an outsider.
I don't have to fret over whether I should 'be there' or not.
They say things like "You BETTER be there" or they'll find out I'm joining them and I'll get a genuine 'yay'.
You have no idea how good that feels.

I'm reliving the parts of my "youth" that I never fully experienced.
It's like I'm going back in time and enjoying what I should have enjoyed had I not been so self-conscious.

Physically, I'm getting a second chance to relive my youth as well.
I work out in the same dojang as the young ones and sometimes they're there! (click here)

I was with people less than half my age for Super Bowl Sunday but I didn't feel like the old person in the room.
When one of the 18 year old girls made a comment about Madonna being "an old lady" I yelped that I was close to that age! She said I wasn't old and that she thinks of me being 30.
Well, howdy do.

I guess I DID go back in time.
...
..
.

Emotions in Fat

2012-02-05T23:59:00.002-05:00

"What many of us don't realize
is that we also store "molecules of emotion"
in our fat cells.
Throughout our lives
we create emotional states
that develop into a protective personality
that makes us feel safer
in the world...

...When under stress,
both toxic fat soluble chemicals
and toxic emotions
store in our fat cells
until we convince the body
that it is safe enough to release those toxins...

...It is for this reason
that when the body is naturally burning fat
we have a huge opportunity
to cleanse both physically and emotionally."

- John Douillard, D.C.

Oh, the infernal boo hooing I've been doing for a couple of days.
My eyes are swollen like frog's.
Coincide-ally my waist has been going in and my clothes are looser.
I've been releasing weight.
Along with the release of fat from my body comes the emotions that were once stored there. The negative emotions that I postponed by storing them in my fat cells are being released along with the fat.

Lots of feelings of betrayal and abandonment are coming up.
Lots of feelings of not being appreciated.
Feelings of mistrust.
Feelings of being misunderstood.
Feelings of being taken for granted.
Shame.
Sadness.

When did these feelings happen originally?
Did I not feel them fully when they happened?
If I'm feeling them so strongly now I must have saved them for a time when I thought I might be strong enough to handle them, either that or the echoes of these feelings were tucked away in my cells when I did experience them.

Sadness can be overwhelming. Maybe I had too much of it when it was happening to me originally so I took a to-go bag and saved them for later.
Now is later.

I inhaled some
Trauma Life tonight.

It helped me process a few things and uncover some issues.
Trust is a challenge for me.
I also don't understand how affection works.
Isn't that bizarre?
I think back on my romantic relationships...and even writing "romantic relationships" is strange for me.
They weren't very romantic.

I don't remember any of them ever holding me or comforting me.
I remember doing a lot of hugging and not being hugged back.
One of them would just let his arms hang down at his sides.
Another would fold his arms across his chest when I hugged him.
I can't seem to recall any of them ever stroking my hair or reassuring me.
I've always blamed myself for being un-loveable, like their inability to be affectionate with me (unwillingness? inability?) was somehow my fault, like I was un-inspiring.
My shame was about how I failed to bring out that kind of loving behavior in them.
Writing it now makes me think that it's ridiculous to take that on myself,
that it's absurd to think that the behavior (or lack of behavior) of others is in any way my fault,
but that's thinking.

Thinking and feeling are very different.
Feelings don't know logic, they're just the honest, natural response to whatever is going on.
The shame over how I felt kept me from feeling the emotions fully, even the shame feelings.
I was so busy blaming myself for how people treated me and how I felt that treatment, yet I know that no one is to blame for feelings.
We can know this intellectually but the heart doesn't know the logic of the head, it only knows what it feels.

I guess I put the shame and sadness in my fat-vault hoping to never have to own them.
Well, it's time to own them.
I want to release the excess weight so I can feel better physically.
In order to do that I have to process the toxins that have been stored up in me for so many years
and that includes environmental toxins and toxic emotions.
Not to say that emotions in and of themselves are "bad" or toxic. It's the stored up emotions that turn toxic.
They ferment, so to speak.

Fermented things are stronger than unfermented things...they are intoxicating.
Emotions are like that when you save them up.
Save 'em for later and expect them to have the same effect as bottled up cider.
Boozy.
Strong.
...
..
.

Qualifying Warriors

2012-02-04T23:59:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to all the students who qualified for Nationals at the Adirondack AAU Qualifier in Troy, NY today!

I had such a wonderful time with the them and their families this weekend.
They are such good, kind people. They make me feel so loved and included.
Watching them perform and succeed is a great privilege.
Just being around these kids is inspiring.
They do so much for my spirit by letting me be part of their trials and triumphs.

I will definitely need a better zoom lens for future competitions.
Sometimes you can't get close to the athletes to get decent pictures because of the way the rings are set up.
It is my intention to do justice to all their hard work and training by taking phenomenal action shots!

Always setting goals.
Always working hard to meet them.

Glad that there are more competitions for me to practice my photo taking art before Ft. Lauderdale in July!

For a look at the pics (click here).

...
..
.

Encore Blog

2012-02-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

ON JULY 3, 2009

THIS IS WHAT I WROTE...

wheeling out in faith

“When you have come to the edge
of all light that you know
and are about to drop off
into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing
one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on
or
You will be taught to fly”
- Patrick Overton

“Of one thing I am certain,
the body is not the measure of healing
Peace is the measure.”
- George Melton

"Although the world is
full of suffering,
it is also full
of the overcoming of it."
- Helen Keller

I'm afraid.
I'm afraid I won't heal.
I'm also afraid that God will be offended by my lack of faith and keep me crippled to teach me a lesson.

How awful.
It's awful because part of me knows how ridiculous that is.
There's no angry, finger-pointing God in the sky with his finger poised over the "smite" button on his keyboard ready to strike me down as punishment.

Yet I'm having trouble trusting that I'll ever be well.

I trusted that my kitten would come back from the vet.
You think I didn't pray over Cassidy before he went in for surgery???
I prayed that God would take care of him.
Now Cassidy's dead.

Sure, God is caring for everyone and everything but not in the ways we want.
Asking God to take care of my Cassidy was my way of asking that my kitten be brought back to me safe, whole, alive.
God said no.

So, why should I have faith that I'll ever be well??
If it's not God's will none of my prayers will matter.
God's will be done, not mine.

The only prayers of worth are prayers offering gratitude and prayers asking for forgiveness.
I can ask God for anything I want.
Then God will do exactly what God sees fit for the development of my spirit.

When my Cassidy fell behind the big dresser and I was screaming for God to help me
I feel that I did receive help.
I got more strength than I knew I could muster.
I became calm enough and strong enough to rescue my baby.

The kitchen fire that same day could have been much worse.
I arrived home in time to put it out and air out the apartment.
No harm done.

I thanked God for leading me home in time to save my household.

Then the very next morning my Cassidy-kitten
dies on the operating table.

I trusted God to take care of my baby and my baby died anyway.

So, why am I going to trust that my knee will heal?
What good is The Secret and visualization and goals and will and focus if God just does what God wants anyway??

My knee might stay damaged for a very long time.
If I need surgery I'm going to be off it for a year of more.
For all I know it could just stay damaged till I get a knee replacement.

Sure, I could step out in faith and declare victory over my injury but I stepped out in faith that my kitten would be just fine and now he's gone.

What good is mustering up all that faith that things will turn out the way I want just so I can be denied?

I think the only thing left to do is submit.
Tell God that I am ready to be used in whatever way God sees fit.
If that means I'm a cripple with a dead cat I need to be OK with that.
If that means I'll walk again, soon, and a new kitten will come into my life then I need to be OK with that. If God takes that kitten too, I need to be OK with that.

If I surrender to God's will am I giving up on myself?
Maybe the point IS to give up the self and rely solely on a higher power.
Give up all wants and desires and just be a lover of God.

I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Is that why I'm still in a wheelchair?

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Zac Poonen talks about how we can be led astray in self righteousness. The Bible speaks of being freed from spiritual pride and self justification. This sermon is about the"Thank God we are not like them attitude". This clip is an extract from the message " Characteristics of Pharisees" delivered at the conference "Led by the Spirit, not under the Law".
click here

Not the Diet You're Looking For

2012-02-02T22:48:00.000-05:00

"One of the big objectives at this site
is to help health fanatics
who have found me
in the sauerkraut-scented bowels
of the alternative internet health scene
to overcome
their irrational food fears
and phobias.
And to help people
stop embarrassing themselves
in front of friends and family
with their psychotic health crusade du jour...

... And maybe your kids
will not suffer from instant death
upon Cheerio impact
if it makes your life
a little less stressful
to throw down a box and a carton
on a day when you aren’t up
for making something that is
grassfed,
raw,
sprouted,
fermented,
and fried in ghee
from Goji-fed
Himalayan Yaks."

- Matt Stone in 180 Degree Health Blog

There is no magic bullet BUT...and everyone loves a big BUTT...
there is a magic arsenal.
Problem is, not everyone's arsenal will be the same.

Matt Stone is having great success eating pancakes and breakfast cereal in the mornings.
Does that mean we should all follow suit and jump on the refined flour bandwagon?
No, but some of us might benefit from eating those foods.

And by benefit I mean their health will improve in significant ways
by adding a food back into their lives that they once thought taboo.

It's all individual.
That's a big problem in this quick fix world where everyone wants some food, supplement, diet-plan to work based on what it did for someone else.

Hey, testimonials can be very helpful.
I would never have found Josh Rubin of East West Healing if it weren't for Matt Stone and his Ray Peat phase.
Josh is all about person-specific recommendations.
That's one of the main reasons you should consider working with him if you have significant health issues.
What works for me may not work for you.
An expert like him can help you figure out what works for you.

I can make certain recommendations based on what's working for me, but some folks are going to need more specific and rigorous interventions in order to get results.

I can talk about Epsom salt baths. Most people will benefit from them.
I can talk about stirring Great Lakes gelatin into your beverages. Many people will benefit from that.
I can talk about grass-fed and finished meats, raw milk, and real butter. Getting off of commercial foods is probably a good idea for most people.

I can definitely talk about Young Living Essential oils. Many people will benefit greatly by using them.

But I must stress that there is no magic bullet that will work for everyone.
Becoming healthy takes time, experimentation, investigation, observation, and major life changes.
Some of those changes will be safe to broadly recommend for people.
Some will not.

I've fought for so long to find what's right for me.
If I had put my faith in one and only one way of eating or one practitioner and not bothered to look further I might still be hobbling around on crutches.

I was bravely experimental.

I was able to unhook from my ego and admit when something I had formerly endorsed (like veganism) just wasn't working for me.
I even had to admit that the general Weston A. Price way of eating wasn't working for me and went even further to find which foods within the Weston A. Price traditional foods milieu were going to bring me to more vibrant health (I gave up pork, eat less meat, don't go overboard with fermented foods, no more cod liver oil, etc. but kept the raw milk, real cheese, raw cream, some of the grass-fed meats, etc.).

After pounding my fist in vehemence about WAPF foods I had to admit that there was more to it.
I had to go further.

That's my advice.
Go further.
Keep looking.
Don't settle.
Don't get so hooked on the latest thing you think will save you.
Be willing to add, change, toss out, start over, improve and learn!

One thing I will insist upon:
you CAN improve your health
and your quality of life.

Our bodies have innate healing ability.
We just need to listen to ourselves and
hear our body's cry for help.
Then, we have to help it.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Turns our Qi Gong takes some coordination!
This one was challenging but worth it.
I thank my students for inspiring me to learn.
We teach best what we most need to learn!
click here or click below

Rare Nightmare

2012-02-01T23:49:00.001-05:00

"According to the Yellow Emperor's Medicine Classic,
fearful dream is a result
of deficiency of Qi in the heart and gallbladder.
It can also be due to a prolonged illness
or excessive anxiety."

- Meaning of Dreams in Chinese Medicine

I took a nap and had a nightmare.
I never (rarely) have nightmares.

I won't bore you with the dream details but let's say the major emotions were
fear,
feeling helpless
and feeling useless to defend myself.

I woke up sobbing.

I could have gone to my oils and inhaled some Peace and Calming.

But I didn't want to make the feelings dissipate before I could interpret them.

I rolled the I Ching and got Hexagram 20:: Contemplation
with a changing line making it into 12: Saying No.

I guess I need to calm down, be still, contemplate
then learn to say NO to something or someone.

I am going to sip orange juice with salt in it
and sniff some essential oils to change my mood.

-___-

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
I know how to trick myself into doing things.
If I want to do Qi Gong I'll have to teach Qi Gong!
Getting ready for my Mediation and Healing group at 3:30pm in Student Center 112 at Montclair State.
If you're local, it's free and open to the public!
Kidney deficiency is related to fear. I will rebuke that fear!
click here or click below

Ocotea and the Magic Bullet

2012-01-31T23:01:00.000-05:00

"Ocotea is distilled from the leaves of Ocotea Quixos tree
in the forest of the Amazon.
Ocotea is related to cinnamon, however its scent is different.
Ocotea tastes like a blend of cinnamon and vanilla.

Lowering blood sugar is a prime benefit of using Ocotea.
Ocotea is also helpful for weight loss.

Science: Ocotea lowers cortisol levels too.
Cortisol is a hormone released due to stress of any kind
and causes the blood sugar to rise,
thus when the cortisol level is decreased the blood sugar is too."*

- A Glow of Health

* None of the statements in this blog have been evaluated by the FDA (which is probably a good thing since the FDA allows dangerous drugs, genetically modified foods, toxic pesticides and other harmful chemicals into our food supply). Any advice you take from this blog is at your own risk.

Use your common sense, conscience and do some good research!

I was at an essential oils seminar recently and mentioned that my blood glucose levels had come down by 100 - 200 points since I started "using" the Ocotea oil from Young Living. The leader asked me to describe how I'd been using it.

Well, that threw me for a loop because that's not all I've been doing. I wish that one oil from the array of healing essential oils that I use (and sell) could do something as dramatic as lower blood sugar by 100 - 200 points. Hey, some oil testimonials that I hear really are that dramatic. Sometimes one oil can make an enormous difference in someone's health.
But with me, it was a little more complex.

At the same time that I started inhaling and ingesting the Ocotea oil I started taking a tablespoon of coconut oil daily. The Ocotea and the coconut oil are supplemental in addition to a highly personalized and rigorous dietary regimen that involves life changes that most people are not willing to make (acquiring raw milk and dairy products, stirring gelatin powder into beverages, learning to be ok with white sugar and salt, eating more instead of less, etc.)

Does the Ocotea help?
I believe it does.
Sometimes that last ingredient in a systematic approach to wellness can make all the difference.
It smells delicious too.

But it's not a magic bullet.
Neither is the coconut oil.
They HELP a great deal, but nothing can compare to using food as medicine, and by medicine, I don't mean using food-based supplements. I mean using the foods we eat for sustenance - meals and snacks - as the means to regulate bodily systems and create actual wellness.

Too often people want a supplement that will cure their illness. They think that using a "natural" supplement rather than use a pharmaceutical is somehow going to bring a miracle. Meh, it might, but no supplement (or drug) can take the place of actual changes in the most significant building blocks of our body: our food.

Small changes and big changes.
Some are more significant than others.

I'll be adding Pellegrino to my orange juice.
Something brilliant Josh Rubin said today during our consult about C02 and ...and...yeah.
One of these days I'll get smart and record our sessions then go back and study up on what he talked about.
For now, Pellegrino is on my grocery list!
It will make my orange juice fizzy.
Small change.
Not expecting huge results but it could be helpful in ways that are not obvious to me, and it will make my orange juice taste more like a cocktail.
This pleases me.

It's good to be pleased.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Essential oils help with EMOTIONAL WELL BEING as well as physical well being. When you don't deal with painful emotions you are postponing them. What you don't deal with emotionally you will deal with physically.
click here or click below

Taekwondo Class for Little Warriors

2012-01-30T22:20:00.005-05:00

"Taekwondo itself means
to suppress fighting
and induce peace.
On one hand,
Jaese-Ihwa means
that the world is educated
in accordance with
the reason of heaven.
Taekwondo is a principle,
not a simple connection with movements.
It is the Korean traditional martial art
characterized by the trinity
of body, mind and life.
Thus, the principle is the reason of all creation,
and so it refers to
the reason of heaven in Jaese-Ihwa.
Therefore, human beings can be educated
in accordance with the reason
of heaven
through correct training of Taekwondo. "

- WTF on Taekwondo philosophy

How is it that Andrew and I have been back in touch since
July 3, 2011 and I had never seen him actually teach a class until today?

I've seen him conduct the 5 hour long (on the culminating 6th day) Second Degree Black Belt test for the great Kristin Barret (click here for my version of the experience...click here for his).
I've seen him spar competitively (click here for my version of the experience...click here for his),
I've seen him do some amazing forms (click here),
I've watched him give two hour-long lectures with no notes and without losing his audience's attention even once (click here),
I've stood by his side as we gave a four hour long seminar together including group hypnosis (click here for my version of the experience...click here for his),
I've caught bits and pieces of him training,
but I'd never seen him teach a Taekwondo class.

Today I had that privilege.
It was a small class with kids ranging from ...gosh, I have no idea. I'm going to guess that the littlest one was 5 years old. Don't quote me on that.
The oldest kid looked about 13.
Again, don't quote me.

Little.
The kids were little.

And cute??
The cuteness factor was overwhelming.
Watching these little angels in their uniforms doing their strikes, kicks and kiyups, was too much. I almost melted into a puddle of sugar syrup from the squeeing.

But I was also deeply disturbed on an emotional level. I was transported back in time to when I was 5 or 6 years old to the dancing classes I loved that were taken away from me because they were inconvenient for my mother.

The way Andrew teaches forms to these kids is so much like the way Jackie Donovan taught ballet and tap to me when I was her student (and a good one at that...one of her best...always in the front of the class...always excelling...she wanted to promote me more but my mother thought she was just after the money for private lessons...Jackie proved her wrong by putting me on stage for singing solos at the recitals...no extra tuition required).

He teaches his strikes, kicks, and blocks 4 or 5 moves at a time so the kids can get them before he moves on to teach them the next ones in the form.
Just like learning the dance steps back in the day a few moves at a time.
I remember memorizing the steps so easily.
I was like as sponge back then. I just absorbed and performed.
Memorizing was easy.
It all came rushing back to me in a flood of joy and regret.

Could I ever do that again? I wondered as I sat watching Andrew and his little ones.
Could I ever store all those moves in my head and then perform them under pressure?
Hell, could I even do any of the physical aspects of what they were doing let alone remember how to do them?

I envy those kids.
And I love them severely.

One little girl learned the first of her Dan-gun form (not sure if that's correct...it was all a blur of unfamiliar Korean terms) then asked if she could do it again.
Again?
Again.
She couldn't have been more than 5 years old.
I couldn't believe it.
"I want to do it again Mr. Trento!!"
She didn't shy away from difficulty. She loved it.
Mr. Trento (I really could just faint listening to those little one's saying 'Mr. Trento') let her do it again, encouraging her all the way.
Again, the cuteness factor was astounding.
Those tiny little fists and feet!
I felt like I was made out of baby chicks and kittens watching this little girl.
At a couple of points during her forms she looked to me with bright eyes and tight lipped smile as if she was looking for my approval. I hope my eyes and body language conveyed how thrilled I was with her initiative.

I wish I could say she reminded me of me but she was a tiny, skinny little thing and as blonde as can be.
But she did remind me of me.
She had my attitude.
At that age, I was all about doing it again till I got it right. I didn't want to leave the dance floor with any uncertainty. This little one could probably have trained for another hour.
Maybe she did. I don't know. I had to leave to go teach my night class, still full of downy feathers and kittens.

As Mr. Trento dismissed the kids so that the next class could begin I had tears running down my cheeks.
It was all too much.
I couldn't indulge in a full-on boo hoo because I had to chat with two of the mothers. I hoped they didn't see my eyes leaking.

I had a surreal moment or two during the class.
I wasn't sure how I'd gotten there.
It was like I was dreaming the whole thing.

Who was this man who snatched me off of my karmic path and tossed me onto his mats?
And what was I doing in a Taekwondo school?
How did this happen?
How did this school and so many of its students become so dear to me in such a short time?

I thought I was in control of my destiny.
I thought I was behind the wheel of my life with a road map and a gps to boot.
I had my dream in July about Sifu.
Found Sifu.
Got Tui Na from Sifu and took a Qi Gong mediation course with him at Hung Ga Kung Fu Academy in Clifton, NJ.
Was almost about to fall madly in love with Kung Fu...but then TaeKwonDo happened.
Like standing on the beach posing in front of your awesome sand castle while someone points a camera at you and tells you to smile. Then suddenly you get smashed with a wave from behind and you try to struggle to your feet sputtering sand and seaweed next to your flattened castle.
Then the next wave grabs you and the undertow drags you out to sea.
Not a perfect metaphor, but you get the picture.
I am drowning but ever so happily, bewildered but happy.

But what an unexpected re-routing.

Unexpected.
Out of my control.
Unplanned.
Unforeseen.
The best thing I never knew I needed, I guess.

I feel like I'll be learning to count to 10 in Korean next.

So, yeah, it was quite an emotional experience to watch Andrew teach his kids.
He's also an incredible instructor with the little ones. He's stern and sweet at the same time. You can tell he's been doing it for years. He's also constantly improving himself as a teacher and a practitioner. He has such rapport with his kids no matter what age they are.

My heart kinda hurts from watching it all.

How is he when he's working with me you ask?
Well...let's say he should be awarded an honorary doctorate in psychotherapy for dealing with me during my thrice weekly workouts.
Definitely a blog for another day.
Or an encyclopedia of emotions and weirdness.
I did not go lightly into any of it.

It will make a good story/book.

hah nah
dool
set
net
dah sut
yah sut
il gop
yuh dul
ah hop
yuhl

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Wanna squeee until your heart bursts from cuteness overload?
Oh, and check out the crocs!!
click here or click below