Lisa's Life Lessons

Thank Your Mentor Month!

2012-01-27T23:41:00.000-05:00

As a highlight of National Mentoring Month 2012, Thank Your Mentor Day™ will be celebrated January 26. On that day, many Americans will reach out to thank or honor those individuals who encouraged and guided them, and had a lasting, positive impact on their lives.

Famous Mentor-Mentee Pairs

OPRAH WINFREY mentored by Mrs. Duncan (4th grade teacher)

GEN. COLIN POWELL mentored by his father Luther Powell

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING mentored by Dr. Benjamin E. Mays

MARIAN WRIGHT EDELMAN mentored by Howard Zinn

LUKE SKYWALKER mentored by Obi-Wan Ben Kenobi (Star Wars)

HENRY DAVID THOREAU mentored by Ralph Waldo Emerson

MELANIE AMARO mentored by Simon Cowell (X-Factor USA)

WALTER CRONKITE mentored by Fred Birney (high school journalism teacher)

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON mentored by Rev. Donald James

GLORIA ESTEFAN mentored by her grandmother Consuelo Garcia

HELEN KELLER mentored by Anne Sullivan

BOB DYLAN mentored by Woody Guthrie

QUINCY JONES mentored by Ray Charles

MARTIN SHEEN mentored by Rev. Alfred Drapp

DENZEL WASHINGTON mentored by Sidney Poitier

HARRY POTTER mentored by Professor Dumbledore

ROSA PARKS mentored by Alice L. White (headmistress)

TOM BROKAW mentored by Frances Morrow (elementary school teacher)

ANDREW TRENTO mentored by Lisa Sargese (university professor and spiritual adept)

LISA SARGESE mentored by Esmilda Abreu (organizational psychologist and master hypnotist )

Thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for putting up with me even when I didn't take your advice and you turned out to be right.
Thank you for pushing me to do things I didn't want to do that turned out to be really great despite my protestations.
Thank you for celebrating my success with me.
Thank you for staying with me and wanting to see how this all turn out!
...
..
.

Take the Compliment

2012-01-26T23:49:00.000-05:00

"I think you are so courageous
in what you are doing
to get the word out.
It can be a struggle,
a difficult road,
yet you are persevering
and you won`t quit
-I love that.
You are a Leo and I love Leos,
you are so brave,
and dare I say it
-I feel you are rather noble
in your quest!
You remind me of a great warrior,
or of an English Knight.
Determined to stand up
and speak your truth for all of us,
and bravely standing your ground
to do what is right."

- a lovely Reader of My Blog

Accept the compliment, Lisa.

Don't deflect.

This is not the first time you've been called a warrior.
You ARE a warrior.
You get knocked down over and over and you just keep getting back up.
You hold your heart out on a silver platter for people to break.
They break your heart.
You put it back together again and hold it out there yet again with such faith and such hope.

You get beat up but you refuse to hide out (for very long) to lick your wounds.
You try new things.
You suffer but still manage to be joyful.
You push yourself to do difficult things.
You struggle to do what's right.

You take on responsibilities when it would be safer to avoid them.

You put yourself out there into the public sphere to get
naysayed,
criticized,
made fun of,
questioned,
doubted,
dismissed,
stalked,
and judged
but you see the good it does other people
so you continue to put yourself out there into the public sphere even when you're failing, ill, uncertain or just plain wrong.

You're a fighter.

Someone noticed.
A wonderful person reached out to you to share how much you've inspired her.
Don't diminish HER kindness by rejecting her compliments.
Refusal to accept praise is a false humility.
It's ok to let people say nice things about you and to you.

Don't let the bullies win.
Their opinions are not the ones that matter.
The bully opinions are meant to silence and diminish.
Praise is meant to encourage and expand.
Be encouraged.
Expand.

Be thankful.

THANK YOU.

I am thankful that someone took the time to reach out to me.
I am thankful that my humble ramblings had a positive effect on someone.
I am thankful that someone is encouraged by what I've written.
I am thankful that more than one person on more than one occasion has called me A WARRIOR this week.

Wow.

My dreams are coming true...right?

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
"It is heavy as it needs to be to make you strong!"
Arya is my little warrior girl.
She's so lucky.
I always wanted a Syrio Forel,
an Obi Wan,
a Gurney Haleck,
a Yoda,
a Chiun,
a Pai Mei,
a Mr. Miyagi,
a master who believes in me.
Here's Arya and Syrio.
Enjoy her war cry at 2:27...
click here or click below

Injury and Inflammation

2012-01-25T19:56:00.000-05:00

"I love the line,

“Eventually, she was found to be

profoundly hypothyroid.”

I wonder how many times a nurse

routinely checked her body temperature

to make sure she didn’t have a fever,

she busted out readings like 97F and below,

and no one paid attention?

Sofa King We Tar Ted.

A low metabolic condition

should ALWAYS be

the very first thing checked

whenever any health problem arises

– physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise.

And thyroid hormone panels

should only be a SMALL part

of determining whether or not

a low metabolic condition exists

– as circulating hormone levels

are only part of the equation

(body temperature is only part of the story as well

– as adrenal hormones can raise

body temperature too

while the thyroid goes

on permanent vacation)."

- Matt Stone of 180 Degree Health

Ischial tuberosity is the official name for my butt pain.
Sifu, my Tui Na therapist, found a calcification there and broke it up with his massive Qi (elbows! lol). He said it was a tear that had not been permitted to heal properly. Sitting in a wheelchair for 2 years and sitting on a cheap sofa for most of that time exacerbated the problem.

A couple of weeks ago he broke up the calcification and prescribed stretches for the hamstring and the butt muscle area to keep it from re-calcifying and to keep scar tissue from forming.

It's been slow going with this butt cheek issue.

Last night I leaned hard against a stone corner and moved in a circular motion to break up the irritation and scar tissue.
It felt like surgery.
Afterwards I felt circulation in the area and a healing feeling.
I knew I had done the right thing.

Today my trainer wanted me to do about 100 squats (some with kicks, some without).
I was hesitant.
I asked him to look with his mind's eye (he is also practicing to become medically intuitive) at the injury to see if he felt it was a good idea to proceed with said squatting.
He said he saw glass (another medical intuitive saw shards of glass in the area)
with a crack in it.
He decided to "let it hurt" and we proceeded with the ouchy squats.

Sure the squats hurt BUT and everyone loves a big BUTT....
it brought blood circulation to the area.
I felt better after my workout.
In my estimation, the squats helped rather than hurt.

Temps are going up during the day with my new juice-instead-of-water-habit.
Waking temps are still way under 98 for the past 2 days.
My face looks like I slept on it.
I've got some inflammation going on.

Are my temps and swollen face related to the sitz bone injury (the soft tissue around the sitz bone, to be precise)?
Not sure.
Inflammation is the body's response to injury.
Is chronic systemic inflammation the body's response to prolonged, unhealed injury?

I didn't have my appointment with Josh yesterday.
We'll talk next Tuesday.

In the meantime, it's OJ and rest!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
What's good about Orange Juice?
And how should we drink it??
click here or click below

On September 14, 2009 I wrote...

2012-01-24T23:48:00.002-05:00

I tend to hold my breath when I'm tense,
or impatient,
or angry,
or in pain,
or exerting myself.

It's my go-to defense of cringing against something I wish wasn't happening.
I hold my breath,
brace myself,
wait for the awful thing to stop.
Sometimes the awful thing is one of my own thoughts like
"omg I have to make copies for tomorrow"
or
"crap I forgot to buy stamps"

Hold breath.
Panic.

I've been catching myself doing that.
Every time I catch myself holding my breath I take a long deliberate deep breath
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin through my nose.
I count as I go trying hard to inhale for longer than 5 seconds,
really pushing my lungs to take in more air.
Then I exhale hard trying to push my belly button toward my back.

It works.
I always feel better instantly.
My head clears a bit too.
I feel more grounded and able to handle whatever it was that was panicking me.

Along with the breathing I might say something to myself like,
"Everything is going to be ok."
or
"I can handle it. One task at a time it will all get done."

I've had to do it about a dozen times today already.

Most aspects of life are beyond our control.
We can't control other people, that's for sure.
We can't control time.
We can't control the elements.
But...and everyone loves a big BUTTTTT....
we CAN control our breath!

Sometimes I imagine light coming into my body from the sun or the stars.
I picture tingly white energy coming into my body and putting me in harmony with the heavens.

One breath at a time.
One task at a time.
Everything is ooooo kayyyyyy.

Temps up slightly

2012-01-23T23:09:00.002-05:00

"Anyway – I don’t want to make anyone think
that body temperature
is the one and only key
to all health problems.
It is not.
But it is hugely significant
and shouldn’t be ignored.
There are many health problems
that can be improved
as body temperature improves.
Low body temperature
is just a sign of a much bigger story
taking place beneath the surface.
And that story is much lengthier
and more complex
than I ever could have envisioned it being
when I first went down that rabbit hole...

...Anyway, get warm.
Get those fingers and toes toasty.
Eat lots of tasty
and soul-satisfying food,
sleep well,
don’t stress too hard,
and don’t drink excessive fluids
(particularly water, coffee, and alcohol).
It’ll help."

- Matt Stone of 180 Degree Health

Ok, so my temps are not great.
They did go up a few points over the past few days as I really force fed myself
and substituted juices for water.

Turns out juices have water in them and I won't dehydrate into a ball of dust if I don't guzzle water from a bottle slung over my shoulder in a frikken sling every few minutes (I haven't done that in years but I still see people doing the sling water thing and all I can think of is that they're washing the minerals right out of their bodies).

As a matter of fact, drinking fruit juices instead of water has helped me get my calories up and warm me up a few tenths of degrees.
Juice is my new friend.

I will be implementing my new Josh shake consisting of orange juice (no pulp), raw cream, gelatin and salt now that my farm order arrived and I have fresh, raw cream.

I never thought that eating ENOUGH would ever be my problem.
Oh, the irony.

I spent a lifetime trying to starve myself thin, and now I'm trying to eat myself well.

I'm still working out three times a week
with the most inspiring personal trainer
in the world.

I don't know if I'd enjoy exercising
(yes, I can actually say that word now without retching)
if it weren't for him.
I'm not sure I would have been able to climb four flights of stairs if he hadn't primed me with just the right knee (and core) strengthening drills.
Sometimes it takes just the right person
to say just the right thing
at just the right time
to help you get to a higher level in life.
I am really blessed to be working with him.

But I'm still not out of the woods.
I have plenty of healing to do.
I have lots to do to get stronger.
I must get my waking temps up and that requires eating and rest.

It's such a dance.
I'm so goal oriented and such a hard worker
yet rest is what I have to force myself to do.
Why is it that my karma likes me to do what's most difficult?
And since when did resting become a task? (since I started to love life more, duh)

Tomorrow I have a phone session with the great Josh Rubin of East West Healing and Performance.
Let's see what my next steps will be on this healing journey.

That's me, always steppin'.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Trainer or Drainer?
Yeah, I bet there are plenty of not-so-great trainers out there.
Mine listens to Josh Rubin, is a sponge for learning, cares about my progress,
and has a massive Qi.
I hit the lottery with mine, really.
For non-gamblers, here are the ways to find a good trainer!
click here or click below

It's all Legos

2012-01-22T23:59:00.000-05:00

"She opens her mouth

with wisdom;

and

in her tongue

is the law of kindness."

- Proverbs 31:26

I should just call today's blog a "bunch o' quotes" and leave it at that,

but I'll write a little bit.

It's just that I've been sitting on my sore butt cheek for hours working on syllabi and uploading quizzes to Moodle and I want to get into an Epsom salt bath.

I picked today's quotes because I would like to be more fearless.
Fear can consume a whole weekend (or years or life) if you're not careful.

Ok, quick blog.

A change in perspective can change everything.

One smidgen of information can shift one's whole take on a situation.

When that shift takes place, it's interesting to look back on how you were thinking about the situation before you got the smidgen of information,

how we can get ourselves worked up into a lather,

how we can feel defeated and hopeless

when actually the situation is entirely different than we thought.

We just wasted time and energy dwelling on a fiction.

In the end, it's all fiction anyway.

Reality is perception.

Even the smidgens of information that seem to make a situation come into focus are only fragments of reality.

The big picture isn't even the whole picture.

It's still a point of view.

I must remember this when I'm fretting over things that seem hopeless or painful.

The situation isn't hopeful or hopeless or anything.

The situation is a set of ideas upon which we pin emotions,

but the situation is a made up thing in our heads anyway.

It's all ego tricks and cobbled together observations that lead us

to indulge in whatever emotions we're addicted to.

Imagine what it would be like to be addicted to

joy

gratitude

elation

and bliss.

I wonder what cobbled together situation-ideas I would have to imagine are real in order to start indulging in those emotions rather than the boo-hooing and self-doubt.
I wonder what a positive addiction feels like.

And even the idea that certain emotions are "better" than others is a construct.
Positive, negative, it's all just judgment.

Life is just a big ol' pile of Legos

and we keep building stuff we either like or don't like.

At least if we realize we're the ones building we can make some choices.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

Well, now there are TWO reasons to go to Carlsbad, California.

EastWestHealing and Legoland!!

click here or click below

Rest

2012-01-21T17:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you push.
Sometimes you rest.
How will you know when to do which?
When your body tells you and you listen.

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking that your body will NEVER tell you to push it, that you've always had to force yourself to go to the gym or workout or whatever, and that motivational posters like the one above are there just for that reason.

I'm telling you that's not necessarily true.
There IS a place for actually wanting to move, exercise, and push yourself.
You will find it when you get yourself in balance.
Balance requires REST!
I had to put that in all caps because

THERE ARE NO MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS TELLING YOU TO REST!

But there should be.

A healthy metabolism doesn't happen without radical rest, yes radical.
Why is it radical?
Because it's totally different than what we're accustomed to.
It's not a money making proposition, for one.
No gym memberships are sold on the premise that the body requires adequate rest.
No one wins medals for resting.
No products (or not many) are being pushed all over every convenience store and at every cash register and on every other commercial helping you to rest. Energy drinks? All over the place.
Coffee? On every corner.
Quiet places to rest? Places for cat naps? Peace and calming?
Not in my busy suburban town. Not in the cities that surround me either.

Naps and snacks, was a phrase my beloved departed friend Emily used to say all the time.
She'd say her favorite things were naps and snacks (and cats!)
We're taught that these things are indulgences,
that these things are not goal oriented
and are therefore unworthy.

I'm fighting that battle in my head.
I have so much to do.
It seems like I'm being lazy or that I'm procrastinating when I allow myself to sleep in or take a much needed nap.
I need to change that thinking.
More importantly, I need to rest!

My body needs to recuperate.
The three times a week workouts are a big deal for me.
They're a big change.
An even bigger change would be the two brand new knees I had installed this past year.
Major surgeries.
Major changes.
Major rest required.

I also need to find quiet time with myself at various points in the day.
Best way to trick myself into doing that is to teach it.
I'll be leading a meditation and healing circle at one of my universities on Thursdays
(if you're local, please come! It's FREE! Email me BelovedIdeas@Yahoo.com)

Hey, we teach best what we most need to learn, right?
I slept late today.
Did a few things.
Then I napped.

As you can see it took me a whole blog post to convince myself that
this was OK and that I needed and deserved the rest.

Meh, whatever it takes, right?

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Sleep.
The types of foods you're eating.
Stress.
What's blocking our healing?
AND what to eat before during and after a workout.
It's all in here...
click here or click below

Other Stairs and a Theory

2012-01-20T23:55:00.003-05:00

"It is amazing

how much crisper

the general experience

of life becomes

when your body

is given

a chance

to develop

a little strength."

- Frank Duff

As it turns out the Newman steps were just a rehearsal for the 4 flights of stairs I climbed last night when I attended an instructional workshop on healing oils.
When I say 4 flights, I mean steep marble steps in an old building; the kind of flights that have a landing in the middle of them.
By the middle of the second flight I was winded and miserable.
I wanted to give up.

The head chatter started.
"I can't do this."
"I'm going back down and calling to say I can't make it."
"This is too much. I can't do it."
"This isn't worth the exertion.
I'm going to crawl back down the stairs
and pretend I was never here."

Then I continued climbing the stairs.
I was in a hurry so I didn't rest on the landings
I just kept climbing.
My lungs kinda ached but I wasn't gasping for air.
I was winded.
My butt cheek issue screamed at me.
I let it scream.

When I reached the top and arrived at my destination the hostess congratulated me on climbing the the stairs on my new knees.
It was nice to receive the acknowledgment.
I think I heard some angels singing.

My temp the morning after was 96.8.
I am not a happy camper.
I sobbed around all morning after that temperature reading.
96.8?? Not a healthy metabolic temperature.

I ate and drank orange juice and only got my temp up to 97.1.
With only 2 hours till my workout I knew I had to do something to get my body "hot."
I took a trusty Epsom Salt bath and a hot shower and got it up to 98.4.
Whew!

Worked out.
Took my temp an hour after...
97.4.
Not stellar.

I think I have a theory.
I'll run it by Josh on Tuesday.

My body is looking for the old knees and the missing ligaments - the ones I lost in both knee replacements.
Hear me out on this.

I'm asking my body to do things that I haven't asked it to do since 2007 (and partway into 2008).
Looking for strength, it's going to what it thinks is still there to do the work,
but those parts are missing.
The old knees are gone.
The ligaments around the old knees are gone.
It's kinda like a phantom limb situation.

When the old parts are not found, stress is put on the body to
locate the new hardware and activate the remaining ligaments
to do the work of the missing ones.

This new learning is causing my body to go into a bit of a panic.

My body is in something's-wrong mode.
When our bodies go into panic mode
they conserve energy by slowing down metabolically
in order to conserve the energy it needs to meet the crisis.
"Slow down" the foreman cries, "we can't go at full speed
because something's wrong in the engine room!"

Thus, low temps.

That is my theory which is mine.

The good news?
The situation is temporary. My body will learn to rely on the new hardware and it will rely on the remaining ligaments to do the work.

The other good news?
When I drink orange juice and eat sweet things (fruit and chocolate)
my temps go up.
In addition to my raw milk, raw egg, fruit, salt and sugar shakes
I am going to be doing the Josh-creamsicle shake:
orange juice, cream, salt and gelatin.

Yeah I did a bunch of crying today.
I don't boo-hoo around for long,
but when I boo-hoo I boo-hoo hard.
Then I bounce back hard and find solutions.

I'm not going to lose this battle.
I've fought and won too many health battles to give up now.

I give myself permission to be discouraged.
I feel that fully till it's finished.
Then I move on to solution-mode.

Lots of hyphens today.
Ideas-strung-together-day.

And I got a pedicure.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Gelatin, the cooked form of collagen.
Why should you take it?
Josh Rubin explains...
click here or click below

Newman Stairs

2012-01-19T13:57:00.000-05:00

"Get out of your head.

Don't overthink it.

It's all in your head

and it's messing you up."

- Kristin Barrett,
Second Degree Black Belt

Yesterday was the day I walked up the Newman Center steps for the first time in over 2 years.
It's the equivalent of 3 flights of stairs.
Some are super steep.
They're old as Hell, all concrete, brick, and intimidation.

I even debated using the cane to get myself up there.
I didn't, but I did have a priest with me!
No, not to say last rites and
yes, I'm serious, I was accompanied by a priest.

I was there for a meeting to discuss faith and spirituality council business for our university. My colleagues - who are also friends - were waiting for me at the top of those stairs, sitting inside around the table in the warm, homey Catholic Center.
The cold steps loomed between me and comfort.

First I prayed, Lord please lift me up.
I started talking to myself out loud,
"Yes you can, yes you can, yes you can..."

My priest friend was casual about the truth,
"Of course you can.
They're no different than the stairs at home.
There are just a few more of them!"

I pulled myself up using the railings
and imagined my calves were made of light.

The stairs were not that hard on my knees.
My butt cheek issue hurt really badly, though.
In order not to irritate it too much I mounted the steps
using my left leg more often than my right.
The left leg is the most recent surgical leg, the one with
the more recent knee replacement.
It's damned strong.

The knees took the stairs very well.
I reached the first landing.
"Halfway there" I panted.

"More than halfway there!" Father Jim corrected me.

I didn't rest for more than a few seconds.
I climbed the remainder of the steps
and reached the front door.
Fr Jim clapped me on the back,
"You did it!"

I did it.

Thanks be to God,
to the Angels,
and to FJ for the support!

If it weren't for the butt cheek issue I'd have done it nearly pain free.
(Stupid, stupid butt cheek.)

Today's fall out?
Ankles are a bit sore.
Shins are a bit tender.
Butt cheek is horrifying.
Waking temp was 96.8

No, that's not a typo.
I've been waking wtih temps in the low 97s and high 96s.
This is a problem.
Metabolically I'm not roiling at the hot pace at which I wish to be roiling.

I was hoping and praying it wasn't the thrice weekly workouts that were messing me up.
We took a week break from our workouts due to schedule conflicts and emergencies.
The temps were still in the crapper.
It's not the exercise.

The day after the seminar I awoke to a temp of 96.0
Not good.

So what's going on?
I have an appointment with Josh on Tuesday
so we'll discuss what can be done.

My hunch?
Inflammatory foods and lack of rest.
Sometimes I eat convenience foods.
Sometimes I feed my guests carby snack foods and I eat them too.
I've been craving meat and eating it (muscle meats, burgers).
I have not been sleeping often enough when I'm tired.
These are major issues that cause inflammation and slow the metabolism.

Now, to get me roiling and ready to teach my first night of class
I'm going to take a hot Epsom salt bath.
Alert the presses.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
180 Degree Metabolism: The Smart Strategy for Fat Loss was published last year. The basic message is to stop dieting, raise your metabolism, raise the basal body temperature, and then cautiously pursue fat loss if desired.
click here or click below

Sopa/Pipa Blackout -___-

2012-01-18T11:18:00.000-05:00

More than 7,000 sites are going "black" to protest the "Stop Online Piracy Act" (SOPA) and the "PROTECT IP Act" (PIPA). Here's everything you need to know.

click here

Starting at midnight Eastern Standard Time on Wednesday, January 18, all 3.8 million English-language articles of Wikipedia will go “black” for 24 hours, in protest of the “Stop Online Piracy Act” (SOPA) and the “PROTECT IP Act” (PIPA). Wikipedia will be joined by thousands of other sites, all of which will be blacked out for between 12 and 24 hours. In anticipation of the confusion this will cause, we’ve put together a quick guide for those of you looking for answers, and for a way to get in on the action.

What are SOPA and PIPA, anyway?

At their most basic, SOPA and PIPA are two nearly-identical bills (SOPA in the House, PIPA in the Senate) that aim to curb the illegal distribution of copyrighted material by foreign websites, which by definition operate outside the jurisdiction of US law. These bills provide the power and the framework to restrict access to these types of sites, and to cut off sources of income.

Why are people upset about the bills?

Because they believe SOPA and PIPA are so ambiguously worded that they hold the power to usher in unprecedented censorship online, stifle online innovation, and even “break the Internet” by allowing (or requiring) Internet service providers to tamper with the domain name system (DNS), the underlying architecture of the Internet. Supporters of these bills say all of these concerns are completely unfounded.
To learn more about SOPA/PIPA and the surrounding controversy, see our quick guide here, Reddit’s thorough breakdown here, or this extremely handy flow chart here.

Which sites will be blacked out?

The full list encompasses about 7,000 sites. Some of the most well known include Wikipedia, Reddit, all 64 Cheezburger Network blogs, Boing Boing, Destructoid, Mozilla, TwitPic, Imgur, MoveOn.org, MineCraft, FreakOutNation and I Heart Chaos, among many others.
Even Google is getting in on the blackout action by including an anti-SOPA/PIPA message on the Google.com home page, and links to more information about the bills and the protest. Some activists believe that Google, which is strongly against these pieces of legislation, has not gone far enough.
UPDATE: Google has blacked out its logo on Google.com, and provided a link asking users to, “Tell Congress: Please don’t censor the web!” The logo is also blacked out on all US search results pages.
See the full list at SOPAStrike.com, here.

Which sites WON’T be blacked out?

Most of them. Notable omissions include Facebook, Twitter, AOL, Yahoo!, Zynga and eBay, all of which publicly opposed SOPA/PIPA. Both Twitter and AOL have publicly stated that they will take other actions to inform users about the potential consequences of the legislation.

Does “blackout” really mean “actually black,” or offline?

No. Most sites will replace their regular pages with a landing page devoted to spreading the anti-SOPA/PIPA message and otherwise educating people about the bills, with ways to contact Senators and Congressmen, and other information about how to get involved with the protest. Here’s a preview of what Reddit’s blackout page looks like .

Double Chin Demon

2012-01-17T22:40:00.000-05:00

"My body is real, and it is healthy,
but I’m apparently not supposed to
feel positively about it.
The simple fact is that if fat people
are to live healthy, active lives
we need good self esteem too.
And that requires equitable treatment
from others;
skilled, empathetic health care;
accepting environments in which to exercise;
quality clothes and fashion to fit our bodies;
and the right to live free
from prejudice
and size-based discrimination...

...This is especially important
for fat children and teenagers,
who are vulnerable to bullying.
These young people need
parents, teachers, doctors
and celebrity role-models
to protect them from prejudice
and encourage them
to have good self esteem,
no matter what their weight."

- Fat Acceptance: Introducing the Self EsteemWarriors

Was our seminar a success?
I judge that by the reactions of our attendees.
They seemed happy and satisfied, therefore it was a success!

Andrew is great in front of a room. He's a natural speaker and teacher.
I'm a natural info-tainer.
This was our first venture together.
We work VERY well together in front of a room.
Our timing is good,
our consideration of each other comes easily,
we defer to each other at just the right times,
our humor came through just fine,
and people were engaged.

We worked for weeks preparing ourselves for this.
We studied together. We memorized and took notes.
We challenged each other's knowledge.
We selected just the right info for our seminarians.

On one level, I'm happy and satisfied.
I have confidence that we'll continue to improve
and fine tune our service to others.
Things will continue to get better and better.

But my demons are shaking their pitch forks at me.
Demon of all demons would be my self esteem.
All I can think of when I look at the (really cool) pictures
click here
from Sunday's seminar is
how fat I am
and how I have the Sargese double chin.
Ugh.

Ah, the tricks of Ego.
If only I were thinner...
If only I had no double chin...
If only I were younger...
If only my hair were thicker...

Like, who cares?
I don't think anyone in the room that day was thinking that they'd rather be looking at a smaller woman. I don't think they were noticing my double chin in a negative way. I don't think they got anything less than they were supposed to because I'm a size 22 instead of a size 12.

Yet, I'm dealing with the demon anyway.

I THINK I look like this:

But I actually look like this:

(Could Andrew be any cuter do ya think?
click here for his report on our Sunday Seminar)

Come to think of it, no matter what size I am
I'm dissatisfied with how I look.
Even when I weighted less and had less of a chin
I was still jutting my jaw out toward the camera
to lessen the look of my fat neck or covering it
with a prop or scarf.

Maybe the best I can do for now is
tell the demon to sit down and be relatively quiet
while I get on with my life.

I don't know that I'll ever be the "beauty"
I was back in 8th grade.

And even then I thought I was hideous, fat and unlove-able.

It may take me years and years (or not)
to get over my self-esteem issues.

We're always getting over something, I guess.

As long as it's not stopping me from doing good work,
keeping to my course spiritually,
passing on knowledge,
having compassion for others,
and learning valuable lessons,
I'll be ok.

If I can look at myself in the mirror
and say that I'm doing good in the world,
the fairest of them all part can come later,
if it comes at all.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Yeah, here I am winning an award for
self esteem and body image work with
the university community.
Well, at least I have experience!
click here or click below

indulging in pics

2012-01-16T23:59:00.001-05:00

I just spent the last 4 hours indulging myself.
No, not with food, drink or rest,
not even with TV or a favorite movie.
I just sorted and edited about 300 pictures of a Black Belt level test that I took using my new Canon Rebel camera (I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel. - Pee Wee Herman).
Why was this painful task an indulgence you ask?
It' was an indulgence because I have plenty of other things to do.
Work things.
Laundry things.
Paperwork/desk things.
Cleaning things.
Other things.
But I had a "what if" moment.

My "what if" moment involved imagining landing on my death bed and looking back on my life.
Did you enjoy it as much as possible? I asked myself.
That's how I justified spending all this time fussing over pictures of people I love and admire.
That's truly what I felt like doing tonight.
So, I did.

I was able to do it whilst lying on my side to spare my poor healing butt cheek.
This helped me to rationalize spending hours with my face in my laptop looking at Taekwondo forms, sparring, self defense and hooray-I-passed-my-level-test pictures.

You want to see them?
Click here.

Next, I will edit down the pictures from the seminar that Andrew and I gave this past Sunday.
Those will be more difficult as I usually have a hard time looking at pictures of myself.
Maybe by looking at so many of them, I'll become numb and I'll be able to tell myself over and over again that I am beautiful just as I am.
There's always a chance I'll believe myself.

Thing is, I KNOW I can't tell someone else to love themselves just as they are until I've mastered it myself.
Well, I can but I'd rather be sincere and have first hand experience at it.

A sneak peak at the seminar pics appears above.
Expect a link to that album in tomorrow's blog!

...
,,
,

warm healing light

2012-01-15T23:59:00.015-05:00

Thank you for all who participated in our seminar today.
Thank you for your open mindedness, your willingness to allow new ideas into your thinking,
and for your kind, attentive listening.

Much gratitude to everyone, including our tech support volunteers!

We recorded the whole thing, audio and video, and hope to make it available
to anyone who was not able to be with us today.

And today is not the last!

We will continue to fine tune our approach and expand our knowledge
to share with as many to whom we can be of service.

Namaste and good luck!
...
.
.

work hard

2012-01-14T23:59:00.004-05:00

Today I watched three warriors take a level test for their 1st Degree Black Belt.
I am so proud of them for their hard work, their tenacity, and their commitment to excellence.
All three are teenagers.
All three are Andrew Trento's students.

I took hundreds of pictures!
When I edit them down I will share the link to the album on Facebook.

Tonight, Andrew and I rehearsed for tomorrow's seminar
and stuffed many many gift bags with goodies and literature.

Hard work for a purpose is satisfying
and good for the soul!
...
..
.

see

2012-01-13T23:57:00.006-05:00

“My tongue lied.

My eyes shouted the truth.

You were not seeing…

Watching is not seeing, girl.

The seeing,

the true seeing,

that is the heart of swordplay.”

— Syrio Forel, First Sword of the Braavosi (Game of Thrones)

...

New Year's Resolutions?

2012-01-12T23:59:00.000-05:00

How are those New Year's resolutions going?
Did you make a commitment to go on a diet?
Mm hmm.
Hows' that working for ya?

I made a commitment to eat more, especially in the mornings and afternoons.
My body runs hot and efficiently when I feed it good, nourishing foods.
Good things like orange juice (no pulp) with gelatin stirred into it keep my temps up above 98 and give me energy.

Eating fats, carbs (not refined garbage carbs), and protein every time I eat keeps my digestion running smoothly.

I have little to NO CRAVINGS for sweets or junk food.

If I DO have a craving I respect my body's needs. Maybe it needs salt, or sugar, or carbs or water.
Cravings are not the enemy. They are signals that our body needs to be nourished.

Restrictive dieting cuts us off from discerning our body's needs. When we eat wisely and regularly there is no need for a point system or meal plan.

This year I will become certified in nutrition counseling and start taking clients in Montclair, NJ and Rochelle Park, NJ. In some cases, I will make a housecall.

I am already a certified hypnotist and will be offering that service as well. Mind and body working together to make a healthy self. That is what I can help people with.

My mentor told me that by January 9th people start to break their New Year's resolutions.
Maybe it's not the people who are at fault.
I think it's the nature of the resolutions.

Smart resolutions that are in line with your healthiest potential are much easier to keep than artificial ones made up by gyms and diet plans.

Health is possible.
Health s probable,
IF we get out of our body's way and
let good things in...that includes good ideas.

Every day in every way I get better and better.
Say that to yourself and see how much better you can be.

...............
Meet me at my seminar in Rochelle Park, NJ
this Sunday January 15th at 1:00pm.
Email me for details
BelovedIdeas@yahoo.com

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Does Dieting work?
Listen to King Shyt of All Things Health and Wellness related.
Or continue to yo yo diet and thinking that "Results Not Typical" doesn't apply to you.
How about this...Just listen and learn. I did.
click here or click below

Crystallized Butt

2012-01-11T23:59:00.002-05:00

I had lunch with one of my mentors today.
I made her laugh when she had just taken a sip of coffee by saying, "We can't leave until I tell you about my ass!"
She almost spit.
Something compelled me to tell her about my butt cheek issue.

I wanted to talk about an energy healer who is also a medical intuitive (when Spirit moves her to be). The energy healer looked through my right hip to my torn up butt bone area and said she saw "crystallized tears."
She told me sadness had formed like shards of glass in the spot where I had so much pain.
She spiritually worked on disassembling it but couldn't get it all to dissolve.
This was back in late November.

My Tui Na therapist examined it last week, diagnosed it as a tear that couldn't heal because I was constantly irritating it, or had constantly irritated it, by sitting in the wheelchair and sitting so much in general during my dark night of the soul (knees breaking down and needing to be replaced). He said there was calcification that had formed because the tear could not heal properly. He broke up the calcified lump then gave me specific stretches to do to keep scar tissue from forming, thereby allowing the tear to heal properly.
You know, and OUCH.

My mentor listened thoughtfully.
"Calcification in your root chakra. What do you think it means?" she asked.

I tossed around some ideas like stagnation, built up emotions that were unprocessed, accumulated disappointment that landed in my sit-down spot...possibly fear of intimacy.

Fear, she said.
You need to overcome fear and move forward.
When are you going to do that?
she asked.

Soon, I hope.
Maybe.
I don't know.

She's right.
I am afraid.
I'm so afraid of things not turning out the way I want them to that I'd rather be stuck.
It feels safer.

For the most part I'm a forward-moving force of nature. I'm my own front on the Weather Channel map, all fire and dragon's breath.
But not in all things.
In some things I'll say an emphatic "fuck you" to bravery and just wait it out, hoping for the best.

That's why I sometimes don't want to trust the I Ching. It tells me to be more Yin. It tells me to concentrate on myself and my spiritual discipline (which is always good advice).
It tells me to keep my mouth shut about certain things and not make bold moves,
but is it saying that because that's what I want to hear?
Is it just mirroring what my deepest beliefs are?
Is my ~~fear~~ caution showing up in the pennies because I'm putting it there?

Sometimes, I just don't know if my deepest beliefs are trustworthy.
I have to allow for the unexpected.
I have to let things unfold.
I can't always have shit figured out in advance.

It's hard to know if it's really time to get off my ass and be more Yang.
I wonder if I can get off my ass and be Yin at the same time.
It is my right butt cheek, though. My Yang side.

I need to go stretch my butt cheek.

..............
Meet me at my seminar in Rochelle Park, NJ
this Sunday January 15th at 1:00pm.
Email me for details
BelovedIdeas@yahoo.com

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Ah, the great Alison Moyet, former lead singer of
Yaz.
Essex is one of my favorite albums.
Getting into something...
click here or click below

Making the Powerpoint

2012-01-10T23:53:00.000-05:00

I condensed my Real Food knowledge into10 PowerPoint slides

for the seminar that Andrew and I are giving this Sunday in Rochelle Park, NJ (near Paramus, 10 minutes from the Lincoln Tunnel email me for details BelovedIdeas@yahoo.com).

That was tough.

I know way too much.

I've applied so much to my life that it's all second nature to me,

but teaching it to someone who still believes that

Weight Watchers is a good idea

and that cholesterol is bad...

shit.

I forgot to mention cholesterol on the slides.

Well, that's why God made brochures...Weston A. Price foundation with God's help made brochures.

The amount of literature that will go along with this seminar may be overwhelming to people,

yet I want to have good information on hand to answer any and all questions.

These next few days will have me frantically jotting notes to myself to remind me to do things, print things, organize things, buy things, and prepare things.

And nutrition is only ONE PART of the program!

I hope I don't put myself to sleep during the hypnosis portion of the seminar.

Oh, and we decided to serve refreshments.

Thank God for my farmer!

Hope to see you Sunday.

We're knocking ourselves out in preparation for you!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

This superb lecture on our food history demonstrates that is NOT our consumption of animal protein/saturated fat, contrary to popular opinion, which has increased our rates of obesity, diabetes, heart disease etc. Instead it is our increase in refined carbohydrates, polyunsaturated fats from seed oils, and sugar which has led to the health epidemic we have today. Removing these items personally, and on a national level, will lead to the amelioration of the obesity rise, and related diseases.

click here or click below

Self Talk

2012-01-09T23:59:00.004-05:00

sweetheart voice of freedom

illustrations by Penelope Dullaghan

"One client uses the sweetheart voice
when she needs to do something
to which she's resistant...

She says to herself,
"Sweetheart, I know it's tough, and I know you can do it.
Come on, we're almost there.
You're so strong and beautiful."

All of a sudden,
it's not so hard.
Another client uses it when
her feelings are hurt.

In the past she'd use denial saying,
"It's no big deal,
I'm fine."

Now she acknowledges the pain:"That really hurt, didn't it? It makes sense that you ate the extra cookie;
rejection is really painful."

When I first suggest this practice to my clients,
they often look at me cross-eyed protesting:

"If I start to accept my weight,
or what I do with food,
it will never change."

My response is,
"Well,
you've spent your whole life
not loving and accepting yourself and what you've done with food.
Has it gotten you any closer to your goal?"- author & life coach Lois Barth
...
..
.

Surprise Workout Company

2012-01-08T20:54:00.000-05:00

"Ego worries

about what other people think of us.

Ego judges us

and expects more, more, more.

Ego compares herself to others

and often finds herself lacking.

Ego needs to prove something

to be someone.

Ego values awards,

education and public recognition.

Your true self

values knowledge,

stimulation and sharing

what you have learned with others.

Can you recognise the difference?"

- Anne Hartley in The Happiness Connection

I walked into my trainer's school and saw an adorable young woman with a cute figure and feared the worst.
Was this nimble young thing going to be there for my workout?
My ego went wild doing what egos do: comparing, fearing, judging, shaming, dreading, what-iffing, and wost-case-scenario-ing.

I worried that I'd look foolish in front of this fit young thing who I knew was a Black Belt and had been for years. She was one of the "Friars of Old" that Andrew speaks of so highly. It's bad enough that I have this hero worship of martial artists but this one was on a special pedestal. A 22 year old Friar of old was about to be there right next to me as I struggled through what I believe to be my newbie-level workout.
I felt grossly inadequate (thank you, ego).

But first, I had a treat. Andrew, the Friar girl, and one of Andrew's Black Belts were going to show me a Taekwondo form. I stood by the mirrors ready to watch. She was at the front and the two boys were at the back. I watched them and couldn't have been happier. Adorable isn't strong enough of a word to describe them.
I was kvelling.

But my joy was momentary as now it was time to pick up weights and do things, difficult things, things that I assumed would be easy for her and difficult for me, things I thought would make me look weak-sauce in comparison to her.

Then Andrew handed her 5 pound weights and also gave me the 5 pound weights. The ones he handed me were the "wrong" color. I thought I used the purple velvety weights not the shiny blue smooth weights. The shiny blue smooth weights felt too light. They weren't the ones I had been using. I asked for heavier weights. They felt better. They anchored me better. He said, "You go girl!" to me which I didn't want to hear (I actually had a puss on about a totally different ego-bound issue and was ragingly PMS... but I digress).

Of course she moved with a youthful strength that I'd expect from an athlete, but she said she hadn't worked out in 7 years. I'm not sure I actually heard that correctly, but she kept saying "it's been 7 years."
I was having trouble processing that.
She had a cute figure, looked damned strong to me, fit with just enough flesh to make her look darling and seemed to be working just as hard as I was to do the exercises.
How could it be that she was working just as hard as I was?

I was witnessing something I'd only read about and I guess didn't fully believe till I saw it with my own eyes: that you can't judge a person's fitness level by looking at them.

My arms burned and she complained that her arms burned.
We did crunches and she was experiencing the same "Ow-y" that I was.
She wasn't superhuman. She was human.
And she was funny. Her little grunts and comments kept me entertained the whole time. Everything that hurt on me hurt less because of her wit and her humanness.

Halfway through our workout we were joined by the other Black Belt who was present.
More comments and complaining and he's 18.

So it boils down to the benefits and downfalls of making comparisons.
How do you know the difference between a benefit and a downfall?
The downfall will make you paranoid, judge-y, fearful...the dark side are they.
The benefits will break down the preconceived notions that separate people,
put you at ease, and maybe make your workout hurt less.

And I got to workout with a Friar of old.
All kinds of win.

Thank you JF and RL :-)

...
..
.

Fat and Loveable

2012-01-07T22:54:00.001-05:00

"Lisa-
Hey, no self-deprecating thoughts!

I thought we went over this!"

- Matt Stone

in the comments section of

Stress vs. Stress Response

This blog is from December 2010 but I'm repeating it here
for a beautiful teenage girl, a second degree Black Belt in Taekwondo.
I met her for the first time tonight. When I walked into the room
and saw her I immediately thought "Who is this beautiful girl?"
Then she said a few things about having low self esteem
and wanting to lose weight for the purpose of being more attractive.
Sweetheart, baby love, you just need to know how gorgeous you are
as you are. This encore blog is for you....

Dear Lisa,

Yes...yes you are lovable as in 'worthy of love'.

No, it doesn't matter if the one guy you happen to have your eye on doesn't respond exactly the way you want him to.

No, it's not your big round body that's getting in the way of someone loving you.

Go look at Museum of Fat love again (click here).
See all the nice couples who love each other?
Look at the cute guy with the glasses and the hat.
So dorky and hot, right?
Just your type.
Now look at the girl sha-noodling into his shoulder.
Fat girl.
He chose her.
She chose him.
Dorkiness and fat did not keep them apart.

Someone will love you for exactly who you are.
People already do.
You have boxes full, FULL, of notes from students telling you they love you, how you changed their lives, how much they admire you.

Your friends think you rock and are loyal and loving.

You DO have male admirers.
Yes...yes you do.
C'mon.
You know it.
Men think you're sexy.

I can list more than a dozen off the top of my head.

If you don't have the romantic love in your life that you think you want, it may be because you are getting in your own way.
You are so afraid to be hurt (being hurt in the past has made you defensive)
that you sabotage or dodge or deny any male attention that might actually lead to something romantic.

It's ok. I know you've been hurt. I know how hard you try to protect yourself.

You are SO beautiful
and smart
and kind
and funny
and quirky
and damned interesting.
Feel good about yourself.
Feel pretty and attractive
because you are.

Don't miss out on a really nice aspect of life because you think you're "too fat".
There's no such thing as "too fat to be loved".
Nuh uh.
No such thing.

You're the perfect size to be loved.
There's a great guy right now, NOT some sub par guy that you'd settle for,
but a really smart, cool guy who turns you on
who would love to be holding your fat, voluptuous body up to his right now.
He wouldn't want you to cringe away in shame.
He wants to feel every inch of you.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Don't cry because I said that.
You're crying.
Go blow your nose.

Now, think nice thoughts about yourself and everyone else.
Hold yourself and everyone else in light.
Breeeeaathe.

We are beings of light
traveling in space
on a big blue ball.

It's crazy to think that some fatty tissue would prevent you from what you are built for:
LOVE!!!

Love,
Me
xxoxoxo
.
.

Mentor and Mentee in Action

2012-01-06T23:37:00.006-05:00

Today's workout really irritated my healing sit-bone issue.
My trainer (and his massive Qi) stretched it out nice and hard today which is facilitating the tear knitting together, but...and everyone loves a healing BUTT... I can't sit in my computer chair to write a blog.
I'm typing this with one finger whilst lying on my side on the sofa.
So if you'll forgive me, I'm cutting and pasting Andrew's blog from today over to mine (with just a hint of editing) to give my poor butt a break.
Thank you for bearing with me whist my butt and I are under construction!

Highest Potential

Professor Lisa Sargese M.A., M.T.S., CH, Hypno-Counselor & Natural Healer

Master Andrew Trento AAU and
Kukkiwon Certified Black Belt

What better experience is there than to actually work WITH one of your mentors? What an awesome experience that would be! To actually put together the skills of the mentor and the men-tee in a collaborative piece of work... To have the mentor put you in a position to apply what you've learned.... To have the opportunity to share with others what you've learned and to help others...

Well I am going to get just that! My mental training/spiritual mentor is Professor Lisa Sargese. We met back in 2008 when I took her Religions of the World Class at Montclair State University. I knew right from the get-go she was an awesome person and a master educator. I pinned her as someone I wanted to be close with and have guide me to learning the things I really wanted to know. We kept in touch here and there and then really reconnected June 10, 2011. Since then we've had a growing friendship and she has been mentoring me once again as the professor, teaching me new skills on my way to becoming a master instructor in martial arts.

The things I have learned from her are absolutely priceless! Spiritual lessons, healing arts, essential oils, hypnosis, nutritional healing, and psychology. I am actually getting the college degree without the degree, you can say. I cannot even put a price on the value of what I am learning from her and the amazing results from applying the information with myself and others. So we have put together a seminar to share this great information and to help others reach their highest potential in becoming a healthier and better person.

This seminar will give a lot of phenomenal nutritional information. Lisa will have the chance to tell her story as well and she has an amazing story. I remember hearing it back in 2008. It was one of the reasons I loved her and respected her so much. Not afraid to show and share her struggles and tell the world how to take care of yourself, Lisa survived weight loss surgery and knows all the do's and don'ts of how to take care of yourself. She has learned from the best of the best and has had some phenomenal victories as a result of this information we will be sharing. She has cured herself of anemia and I believe she has her diabetes under control. She is metabolically reconstructing herself, no matter what the challenge. A true Black Belt of her own kind.

We will also talk about the essential oils that have done amazing things for myself and for others. We want to give people the chance to hear some awesome testimonials and experience the oils that very day. We may even make our own blends that will be customized for people's needs. And we will do an hour of hypnosis to help people with weight management, good habits, goals setting, and quitting smoking. To have the chance to do this and have the opportunity to help others is so exciting. It will be at my own school at Trento's Martial Arts and Fitness Center in Rochelle Park, NJ on January 15th at 1:00PM!

But I am also thrilled to have the chance to actually work with my personal mentor. I can only imagine how Bob Hope felt working with his mentor Jack Benny, or how Carol Burnett felt working with Lucille Ball, or how Michael Jackson felt dancing with James Brown. That's how I feel having the chance to work with Lisa! I am so excited, I am even more excited to share the wonderful things we have to offer to people, and to continue to work with people afterward and hearing the great results they will have.

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

P.S Anyone interested in the Highest Potential Seminar can call 201-203-0773 or email at tmafcinfo@gmail.com. Pre-Registration is $50, of $65 at the door.

Gastric Bypass and the Pretzel Issue

2012-01-05T23:49:00.001-05:00

Don't forget you can meet me on January 15th at
my seminar in Rochelle Park, NJ.
Email me for details!
belovedideas@yahoo.com

"The dilemma is that eating less
slows down the metabolism,
making weight gain easier
and more likely in the long run.
However, because people lose weight
while eating less (temporarily),
this is viewed as positive feedback
for such and such diet.

“All I have to do
is keep eating like this
and I can do it baby!”

This is a lie,
not only because at some point
you will probably stop losing weight,
but because nearly everyone
cannot defy the needs of their bodies,
which will eventually send
overwhelming signals
to you to eat,
eat,
eat."

- Matt Stone in The Dieter's Dilemma

You saw the title of this blog post and thought I was referring to "slider foods" right?
Slider foods is a term used in WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) circles to describe the foods that can slide easily from the pouch-like surgically smallened stomach to the small intestine, right?
Slider foods slide through the "pouch" easily and are a no-no in the post-op program for any WLS.

Once the slider foods slide through and the "pouch" is empty, more food can (supposedly) be consumed, thus defeating the purpose of weight loss surgery, which is to force the bariatric patient to eat less. Therefore WLS patients of any kind are advised to avoid these slider-foods and stick with lean protein-y foods that take a while to move from pouch to intestine thereby tricking the patient into consuming less food, forcing the patient to lose weight (in the short term), and creating a happily ever after scenario of thinness, privilege, and good times.

Good times are not what happen for ~~all~~ most weight loss patients in the long term.
Starving (depriving the body of calories and nutrients via restrictive dieting)
leads to a slowed metabolism and other problems.
Weight regain (for many) occurs because the body sends intense signals of hunger that cannot be ignored and with the slowed metabolism creates a fat-storing situation that often leads to more attempts at starvation.

If it's not weight gain it's a myriad of other problems that arises when the body is malnourished and underfed.
A compromised digestive tract does not absorb vitamins and minerals properly, especially from supplements which are difficult to assimilate (so don't bother telling me that supplements can make up for nutritional deficiencies. They don't).

For those of you post-ops who tell me you feel good and your "numbers" are fine, great, but I don't really believe you (so save your breath). Labs are not the be all and end all of how you're doing. They also don't always measure what the body is actually absorbing from your food and supplements. They measure what's floating around in your blood.

When I was getting Venofer infusions for my anemia they would drip intravenous iron into me then take a blood sample to measure my blood's iron content. The numbers were great.

Problem was that a couple of weeks later my hemoglobin was back down to super anemic levels and the doc would recommend more IV treatments. My body was not absorbing, assimilating, holding onto the iron from the infusions. Their brilliant solution? More infusions.

I of course told the doc to go f*ck himself (in the nicest way possible...by never going back to him again).
Instead I followed my functional medicine specialist's dietary recommendations (that did NOT include iron supplements, spinach, V8, cast iron pans or any of the usual) for 7 weeks, got my hemoglobin from 8 up to 13 (in 7 weeks, people, 7 WEEKS) and still have people clucking their tongues at me for not taking iron supplements.
Dear God, people are stubborn (and un-teachable). sometimes.
Even in the face of overwhelming evidence that something doesn't work long term (like Weight Watchers or any restrictive diet in general) people will cling to mainstream dogma about health because....hmph, not sure why.

So, back to starving.

I'm not doing so well when it comes to taking in enough calories and nutrients during the day.
The God-awful gastric bypass makes eating and drinking a nightmare.
I dump very easily.
Dumping syndrome is a hellish experience that includes nausea, rapid heartbeat, the sweats, dizziness, pain, shortness of breath, and a general wish to be bashed over the head with a mallet to end one's misery (click here).
It's awful.
I dump at least twice a day.
Yep.
Welcome to post-op life.

It takes only one forkful or one sip over the limit (a ping pong ball's size of food is the limit) to push me over the edge into dumpville.
Mind you, the WLS "community" regards dumping syndrome as one of the positive tools that can prevent one from overeating thereby causing weight loss which is the Holy Grail which leads to Cinderella getting her glass slipper to fit.

If you complain about dumping you'll be reminded by post-op cheerleaders that you knew what you were getting into when you had the surgery and isn't it great that dumping syndrome will stop you from overeating!
Um, how about when it stops you from eating enough?
What then?

Here's what's happening with me,
I struggle to take in enough nutrients during the day.
I don't get enough nutrients in.
How do I know?
My temps are in the mid to low 97s AND I am so hungry at night I eat more than a ping pong ball's portion to satisfy my hunger out of desperation, dump like a sieve because I'm taking in too much food, then swear I'll never eat more than a dainty bite or two of anything ever again for the rest of my life.

Why does this happen?
During the day I am so cautious not to dump (I do anyway just less so) by sipping my shakes (raw milk, raw egg, pureed fruit, salt, sugar, cocoa) every so daintily.
But I get so hungry, even with the shake.
So I nibble cheese or an apple or sip juice or sip a second shake.
I start to dump.
I stop eating.
Stopping eating leaves my body wanting, but the digestive tract can't handle the food that it needs.
Suffering.

By the time night comes, I am so ravenous for food I reach for the most calorically dense food on hand.
Last night it was sourdough pretzels.
Great way to get (low quality) calories into my body.
Great way to make dumping syndrome happen as white flour is a garbage-y food that's as easy to digest as paper mache.

Last night I had company too.
It was easy and cheap to just order pizza (they dig it).
I ate the cheese off a few slices, nibbled some crispy parts of the crust, dumped like a dump truck, wished for unconsciousness, vowed to never eat white flour again, yadda yadda and so continues the vicious cycle of
not eating enough
body demanding calories
giving in to cravings
dumping
wishing for relief
vowing to never cause myself to dump ever again
vowing to not eat
under-eating the next day to prevent dumping
needing food at the end of the day
giving in to cravings
dumping
sigh

Yeah.
That's my sad story.
And yes, even my beloved shakes make me dump because they are so dense.
What doesn't make me dump?
I guess I can eat an apple safely.
I can sip juice safely.
I can nibble an ounce of cheese safely.
But that is not enough food.
I was tired, depressed and GAINING WEIGHT eating under 800 calories per day.

I'll never get strong or heal my metabolism (or lose weight permanently) eating a hamster's portion of food.
I know.
I lived it.
I subsisted on a hamster's portion of food for the first couple of years after the gastric bypass.

One can starve the body on not-enough-calories for a short period of time,
lose weight,
get applause,
then suffer the consequences of such a project in the form of
chronic ailments,
libido loss,
hair loss,
sometimes death,
slow metabolism.
nutrient deficiencies,
serious health issues too innumerable to list here,
weight regain, etc.

I lost 140 pounds very rapidly right after the gastric bypass.
Lost hair too.
Lost energy.
Lost interest in life.
Lost ability to burn fat efficiently.
Lost my ability to walk.
Gained back half or more of the weight.
Am now fighting for my f*cking life
with
nutritional interventions.
spiritual interventions,
strength training,
hard sleep,
and God's help.
I'm winning, but ever so slowly.

Do I want my gastric bypass reversed?
Of course I want the damned thing reversed!
I just don't know if that will happen.

I also see that folks who have had theirs reversed are not
bouncing back as well as they'd hoped.

Now what?

Now I sip sip sip
my shakes and juice
and hope that it will be enough
to nourish me back to health.

And now, I'm going to soak my dump-y ass in a nice
Epsom salt bath.

At least I can absorb minerals that way
with no gastric involvement.

Don't forget you can meet me on January 15th at
my seminar in Rochelle Park, NJ.
Email me for details!
belovedideas@yahoo.com

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
A member of the WLS world died in his sleep on December 28, 2011.
He had the gastric bypass then revised it to the duodenal switch.
He was 23 years old.
RIP Yehuda.
His family asks that in his memory you learn a piece of Torah or do a Mizvah (good deed) in his name.
I'm sorry to all those who are suffering over this loss.
Yehuda and I had a tussle on Facebook and he un-friended me months ago, but I'm still disturbed by his death.
click here or click below

2012-01-04T23:59:00.004-05:00

YIN

You don't have to move away,
you just have to dance backwards.

Butt solved

2012-01-03T21:38:00.000-05:00

I've solved the butt issue.
Finally, after 2 years of suffering I went to my
Tuina therapist and complained specifically
about the pain on my sit-bone on my right glut.
The pain started during the summer of 2009 when
I succumbed to a wheelchair when my knees could
no longer carry me.
It's been burning ever since.

Now, in 2012 I have two new knees
and have been out of the wheelchair
since mid October 2011.
Problem is the butt pain continued.
I figured once I was up and on my feet

the butt pain would subside.
It didn't.
It kinda got worse.

I'm not sure why I suffered so long before I asked for help. I'm just glad I finally did ask for help.

Assessment?
A tear that had calcified.
My therapist broke up the lump and stretched me out.
That's the short version of the story.
Tuina is rigorous, but you know how I roll.
I tough it out.

It will take time to heal fully but I will heal.
I have specific stretches to do 3 to 5 times a day to keep the blood flowing to the area and to facilitate proper healing. The stretching will prevent calcification from occurring again and will break up the scar tissue so the healing will knit together smoothly.

He also did an assisted stretch (kinda like having the Titanic on top of you stretching you out) that I can duplicate with my trainer who, thank God, is also Qi infused and a master (soon to be...right now he's still a 3rd degree Black Belt...that all changes in 2012) of his particular martial art.

I just took a nice Epsom salt bath.
I'm going to stir some Great Lakes gelatin powder into some pineapple juice, take two aspirin and do some butt stretching.

Thank you for my healing.
Thank you for the relief.
Thank you for putting competent, compassionate, skilled healers in my life so that I may thrive.
Thank you for the opportunity to help others find their healing.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
I wish I could go to a hospital in NJ and receive this treatment the way patients can in Zhejiang Hospital, Hangzhou, China!
Some of this looks like the Tibetan VitaFlex technique that Young Living aromatherapists like me can learn.
So much to learn!
So much healing potential!
I love life.
click here or click below