CindyB-AK

Change your spending habits - I did!

2011-09-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

Want to cut your spending and/or get out of debt? Fortunately, there's a lot you can do to change your good intentions into good behavior. First, I'd suggest you and your significant other play a game together. Let's call the game Name That Influence! The object of the game is to identify all the different sources of influence that are undermining your good intentions. You'll be shocked at how long the list is. Here are three questions to help you generate some specific answers: 1. What visual images in your home get you thinking about spending rather than saving? (Hint: Do you longingly browse shopping pages on the internet? Do you have a Library of Congress-sized stack of catalogs by a comfortable reading chair?) 2. How do your interactions and conversations with friends or family affect your thoughts, plans, and actions toward spending? (Hint: Is shopping a social event?) 3. What sources of influence keep you from immediately counting the cost of your spending choices? (Hint: Do you buy with cash? Checks? Credit cards? Do you have "one-click" purchasing enabled on favorite Web sites?) Set a goal with your significant other to come up with at least a dozen different influences that both motivate and enable you to spend more than you should. Be honest with yourself and recognize your role in your current situation. As you do this, something very important will happen. You'll realize the problem is not that the two of you are weak. The problem is that you are blind and outnumbered. You're blind to the many sources of influence that are shaping your choices. And the one source working for you (your willpower) is hopelessly outnumbered by the sources working against you. (You'll find you're outnumbered 5 to 1. Not good odds!) When you finish creating this list, your job is to change as many sources of influence as you can to support your good intentions. Dismantle those sources you know are encouraging your indulgence. Create positive influences that will keep saving top of mind, make it easier, and help you feel rewarded for following through. For example, you could: 1. Make it a game. Create a progress chart for your savings goal. Keep it visible. Make a ritual of posting progress as a couple and generating the "completion endorphins" that come when you color in the next progress bar. 2. Banish temptation. Change your home page, delete tempting web pages, toss out magazines and catalogs or other "triggers" of spending impulses. Make no mistake—shopping generates dopamine in the same pleasure centers of the brain that cocaine does. You're fighting a pleasure-driven habit and your best defense will be to minimize the temptations. 3. Make spending harder. Eliminate any structural enablers of mindless spending. For example, research shows people spend far less if they have to fork over cash than if they can simply slide a credit card through a slot. You might try carrying nothing but cash with you for six months. You'll find this one physical change will profoundly affect your choices. You may also choose to undergo "plastic surgery" by cutting up your credit cards. 4. Change an accomplice into a friend. If shopping and spending are social activities, you'll need to identify your accomplices. For example, if you and a girlfriend enjoy a regular outing at a mall, you'll need to change that relationship. Eat some humble pie and let her know you are in desperate need of change. Ask for her help. If your husband is the accomplice, find a substitute activity you can do together. You won't succeed by simply eliminating social activities; you'll need to generate new ones. Our research shows that changing habits almost always involves engaging the help of at least two trusted friends. These ideas may or may not be the right ones for you. But one thing I can promise you is that if you'll examine your situation carefully, you'll realize the problem is out there. There are myriad sources of influence working against you—and until you recognize and reverse them, you'll continue behaving in a way you don't want. Joseph Grenny,coauthor of 'Change Anything"

Ethics is not for wimps

2011-09-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

It's not easy being a good person. It's not easy to be honest when it might be costly, to play fair when others cheat, or to keep inconvenient promises. It's not easy to stand up for our beliefs and still respect differing viewpoints. It's not easy to control powerful impulses, to be accountable for our attitudes and actions, to tackle unpleasant tasks, or to sacrifice the now for later. It's not easy to bear criticism and learn from it without getting angry, to take advice, or to admit error. It's not easy to feel genuine remorse and apologize sincerely, or to accept apologies graciously and truly forgive. It's not easy to stop feeling like a victim, to resist cynicism, or to make the best of every situation. It's not easy to be consistently kind, to think of others first, to judge generously, or to give the benefit of the doubt. It's not easy to be grateful or to give without concern for reward or gratitude. It's not easy to fail and still keep trying, to learn from failure, to risk failing again, to start over, to lose with grace, or to be glad of another's success. It's not easy to look at ourselves honestly and be accountable, to avoid excuses and rationalizations, or to resist temptations. No, being a person of character isn't easy. That's why it's such a lofty goal and an admirable achievement. I admire Michael Josephson, who created Character Counts - a program to teach children.

Goal Achiever

2011-02-16T19:09:00.000-08:00

From Bob Proctor ...

"Set a goal to achieve something so big - so exhilarating - that it scares and excites you at the same time. It must be a goal that is so appealing ... so much in harmony with your spiritual core ... that you cannot get it out of your mind.

This big goal is the one that dominates your thinking all your waking hours. It will be an idea so spectacular that you will relate to the renowned psychologist, Alfred Adler, when he said, 'I am grateful to the idea that has used me.'

Set a goal for which you will willingly trade the days of your life, then commit to it."

What are you trading the days of your life for now? Is it exciting and WORTH your life?

Wabi-Sabi

2011-01-30T11:51:00.000-08:00

I have always been intrinsically drawn to the Japanese aesthetic of asymmetry, asperity, simplicity, modesty, intimacy and nature. I don't know why - it certainly makes me tend toward belief in reincarnation.

Wabi-Sabi is the antithesis of what western civilization has been teaching me to pursue -- perfection and excellence. What I have learned from study of this eastern concept is that what I need to do is my very best, then accept imperfection - that nothing in the material dimension is perfect. Perfection can only be found in Universal Mind, in our Soul - our inner essence. The very essence of our human personality; of our life on earth, of the outer world/nature - is free of right angles and chaos reigns supreme. I've come to understand that is why it is easier for me to be fully present in nature, when I am not "thinking" - when I am just "appreciating".

"Wabi sabi is an intuitive appreciation of transient beauty in the physical world that reflects the irreversible flow of life in the spiritual world. It is an understated beauty that exists in the modest, rustic, imperfect, or even decayed, an aesthetic sensibility that finds a melancholic beauty in the impermanence of all things." - Andrew Juniper in "The Japanese Art of Impermanence"

The book "Wabi Sabis for Artists, Designers, Poets and Philosophers" by Leonard Koren is good, but I felt it was a little light and perhaps mistitled - it is a great book on how to better appreciate Wabi Sabi that is already there. A cracked pot, for example, has an essence that a perfectly round pot is lacking. Beauty is in the cracks, the worn spots, the imperfect lines.

"Living Wabi Sabi - The True Beauty of Your Life" by Tara Gold: What is Wabi Sabi? A universal ideal of beauty, Wabi Sabi celebrates the basic, the unique, and the imperfect parts of our lives. Wabi Sabi is the comfortable joy you felt as a child, happily singing off key, creatively coloring outside the lines, and mispronouncing words with gusto. On a deeper level, Wabi Sabi is the profound awareness of our oneness with all life and the environment. It includes a deep awareness of the choices we make each day, the power we have to accept or reject each moment of our lives, and to find value in every experience. "Appreciate this and every moment, no matter how imperfect, for this moment is your life. When you reject this moment, you reject your life. You don't have to "settle" for your current outer environment, you are free to steer a different course, but for now, this moment is yours, so be mindful to make the most of it."

The Power of Love and Gratitude

2010-12-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

The Power of Love and Gratitude will dissolve all negativity in our lives, no matter what form it has taken

True Motivation

2010-11-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

We're all driven by three needs:
Autonomy - the desire to direct our own lives; Mastery - the urge to get better and better at something that matters; and Purpose - the yearning to do what we do in service of something larger than ourselves.

How to Treat Others

2010-11-16T16:19:00.000-08:00

ALL ethics boils down to one thing: The Golden Rule.

Essentially, asking the question, “How would I like to be treated?” is an integrity guideline for ANY situation.

Think about it: How DO we like to be treated?

1. We want to be valued.

Did you know that in the American marketplace today, 70% of those who leave their jobs do so because they do not feel valued? Don’t you want others to accept you for who you are and show you through their actions that you matter?

Valuing others, not for what they can do but simply because they are human beings, is the foundation of ethics.

2. We want to be appreciated.

Closely related to the need to be valued and loved is the desire to be appreciated for what we can do. Don’t you want to excel and achieve? Knowing that what you do matters builds your self-confidence and self-worth.

How do we express appreciation? Begin by thanking people at every opportunity. Give credit to others. And make a point of praising people in the presence of those close to them, like family members. Broadway producer Billy Rose shrewdly observed, “It’s hard for a fellow to keep a chip on his shoulder if you allow him to take a bow.”

3. We want to be trusted.

George MacDonald said, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.” Think about it: Good marriages, business relationships, and friendships all require trust. Without it, you don’t have open and honest communication, and the relationship can be only temporary.

It takes a leap of faith to put your trust in another person, especially someone you don’t know well. But as Henry L. Stinson said, “The only way you can make a man trustworthy is by trusting him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.”

4. We want to be respected.

When others trust me, I receive responsibility and authority. When others respect me, it touches something deeper within me. It gives me dignity and builds my confidence. As Arnold Glasow said, “The respect of those you respect is worth more than the applause of the multitude.”

The respect of a leader gives people the freedom to perform at their best and the incentive to work with excellence. I can’t think of a more positive working environment.

5. We want to be understood.

Charles Kettering said, “There is a great difference between knowing and understanding. You can know a lot about something and not really understand it.” Likewise, we can know a lot about a person and still not really understand them or why they do what they do.

But the desire to be understood is so strong that many disagreements can be resolved simply when one party (or both) gets the sense that they’ve been understood.

Understanding others means extending yourself and meeting them where they are. You must put the burden of connecting on yourself, not on them.

6. We don’t want others to take advantage of us.

We can cut through almost all of the ethical and moral dilemmas of life by observing this principle with others. If anyone could interpret what I do as taking advantage of them, then my actions are probably a bad idea.

Satisfaction

2010-11-09T11:44:00.001-08:00

Satisfaction does not come with achievement, but with effort. Full effort is full victory. - Mahatma Gandhi

Building Your Business

2010-11-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

If you believe business is built on building relationships, make it your business to build relationships. Don't buy ads, send Direct Mail or 'work' a cold calling list.

Follow your Intuition and passion, no matter what

2010-11-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

"You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to." Those who are open-minded, ready to challenge the status-quo, hard-working, and personally responsible can lead lives of rare authenticity through radical goal-setting, the author counsels, rewriting motivational standards in edgier prose: "The pathway to world domination, or whatever it is you want to do, begins with clearly understanding what you want to get out of life."

Connectors

2010-11-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

"Connectors are exceptionally kind and loving people...They always find something to appreciate. They can get lost in the beauty of a starry night or a frog on a lily pad. They see beauty in children, and they find a natural radiance and splendor in the aged. They have no desire to judge anyone (even themselves) - only to love them. They know that the all-creating Source brings only beauty into material form and so it is always available." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Favorite Quote #2

2010-11-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

"Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change." ~ Stephen Covey
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Confidence

2010-10-26T12:07:00.000-07:00

The only way you get confidence is by doing something over and over again. If you haven't, don't let fear stop you. That is FALSE evidence appearing real. Whatever you're afraid of is not a person, place or thing. It is false. Have faith that God will guide you, that however it turns out is exactly how it was supposed to turn out, and that you'll learn from it. All successes everyone has ever had were built on what you might be thinking of as "failure". Failure is not real either. It is just a step in the process to learning to be successful at something.
Successful people just START wherever they are, then keep at it, doing it over and over again. Then you see them doing it and you think, "Wow - how confident they appear!"
Confidence comes from not worrying about failing, which comes from not needing others' approval.

Goal Setting

2010-10-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

I believe that I need to have a very clear, colorful vision of things I want to be, do and have. The more clear and involved my senses and emotions are involved the better! To that I add, 'this or something better!'

Then I talk about it with people so that I am saying it - claiming it - out loud. I take people responses and filter them with a discerning mind. I ask myself each day what action steps I can take TODAY toward my goals - so that I am staying in the moment. I am flexible. I know life goes according to God's plan not my plans! I only have responsibility to work earnestly each day at my PART, an I know who's really in charge :-)

After I've taken today's action steps, I'm a different person in a way - from my vantage point tomorrow morning the 24 hour path toward the goal might appear different, especially if I'm staying open and paying attention. More is revealed at every step along the way.

In my experience when I take action one day at a time this way, the path always ends up easier than when I used to sit and try to map out the entire path (all by myself). Another disadvantage to my 'old way' was that my head was always in the future and I didn't enjoy the journey as much!

Moral of the story - Work on your goals One Day At a Time! The Universe is always conspiring to assist you!

Don't figure out 'how'

2010-10-11T12:44:00.001-07:00

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Do you know that as you try and work out "how" your desire will come about, you are actually pushing your desire away from you? As you try and work out "how" you can make your desire happen, you are sending a huge message to the Universe that you do not have your desire. And if you're not emanating the exact frequency of having your desire within you, how can the Universe possibly find your signal to deliver your desire?
May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne
The Secret and The Power... bringing joy to billions

Be More Creative!

2010-10-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

Fabulous article on being more creative, and making your current job more interesting!
blog

Look for the Lessons

2010-10-07T05:31:00.000-07:00

Life offers its wisdom generously. Everything teaches. Not everyone learns ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

2010-09-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

Listen to your inner voice and promise yourself that you'll take positive action where you need to. If you've been addicted to a harmful substance, to overeating, or even to being a doormat, listen to the voice within that begs you to be big rather than small, and take one corrective step." Dr. Wayne Dyer

Happiness

2010-09-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

There is no way to happiness, happiness IS the way. Happiness does not come from having a new job, home, car, mate, etc.- but from having new eyes; which seek the positive in all things and feel deep gratitude.

No one is in charge of your happiness but you - which means if you are unhappy right now, it is because of the story you CHOOSE to tell yourself! Only you have the power to change that story.

Perplexed Why Someone Would Say or do THAT?

2010-08-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

If you're perplexed, appalled or angry, it is important to explore the other person's Path to Action. To determine the root causes of the other person's behavior, ask yourself the humanizing question—"Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person act this way?"

Write out as many answers as you can brainstorm, select the top three or four that you feel may be the answer, then ASK THEM. Never assume another person's motives. Approach them with the goal of improving or maintaining the relationship. After all, true success is being rich in relationships!

Again, never assume another person's motives. If you want to learn a lot and improve your relationships, have enough love for your fellow human being to ask them what is going on.

Adapted from the book Crucial Conversations www.vitalsmarts.com

Non-Resistance

2010-08-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. At the root of the disturbance is probably jealousy, envy, self-pity or hurt pride. Non-resistance to the ego in others is the key to maintaining the happiness you've decided to live. Let them deal with their issues, they're not your business!

A burst of temper can spoil a day. When we speak or act rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. A well-nursed grudge can make us miserably ineffective. In all situations we need restraint of pen and tongue. Train yourself to step back and think when triggered. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic. Do an honest analysis of why you're bothered and be willing to admit your part, to transform that character defect into a Godly asset. Immediately forgive yourself as well as others, then move onward and upward.

Failure is just Learning

2010-08-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

Try and Fail - learn from it and life will get better. Fail to try, or don't bother to look for the lesson, and it won't. In order to move forward you must open yourself to new experiences. There is no failing, only mistakes. Mistakes lead to learning if you are wise. Action based on learning inevitably leads to better results.

Be courageous and push yourself to new heights. Besides, what is going to happen if you make a mistake? - If you can, correct it! If you can't, just learn from it and let it go.

The mistakes of yesterday either generate sorrow, if not corrected and learned from; or generate greatness, if at least learned from. If you don't at least learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to keep repeating them. If you feel stuck, consider this deeply.

The more mistakes you make and pull lessons from, the wiser you will become. Don't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Be fearless in your examination. "Have the courage to change the things you can and the serenity to accept the things you can't" means focusing on YOUR part. That is the way to truth and real growth.

Good Character

2010-07-31T00:16:00.000-07:00

A good way to start the day is spending a few minutes reflecting on the value of conducting our lives in an ethically disciplined manner, no matter what our beliefs or lack of them. The same is true of taking some time at the end of each day to review how successful we have been. -Dalai Lama

I like to meditate on God-Like qualities I want to increase in my life, perhaps even chant them, because I feel closer to my Source, the Source of Power and Love, when I think and act this way. I feel in 'synch' with the positive flow of energy spiralling ever upward toward our highest good.

Marrianne Williamson Quote

2010-07-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

I cannot help but re-post because I believe this so much! “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
—Marianne Williamson

Idealist

2010-07-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

I am an idealist - I believe that "All knowledge through the senses and experience is nothing but sheer illusion" Finite natural things are less "real"—because they're not self-determining—than the Soul that we are - individuations of Universal Mind, of God. Physical conditions are effects. Our minds, our thoughts are causes. Do not be fooled into believing what you see with your eyes - believe what you KNOW in your soul! God created us in his image, with incredible power to create all things in alignment with good.