Freak's paradise !!!

Irrfan

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Thu, 30 Apr 2020 05:34:00 +0000

This has to be written... for myself... after years to read and remember.... and for someone who might just stumble upon this... to feel how Irrfan was loved by other people... in the same vein.

The year was 1996... much before the TV channels got hijacked by the Saas Bahu dramas.
Just a few years back satellite television had entered India and new channels were mushrooming up here and there.... It felt as if suddenly there were more slots then the content itself..... in that era, to deal with that chaos of availability, many new inexperienced faces cropped up who were ready to make content the way they wanted !!!

Alongwith the experimental ones (the great ones and the usual bad ones), the staple television diet consisted of some ongoing popular shows. One such show was called "Aur Shamaa Jalti Rahi" (later renamed as Adhikaar).... Sachin Khedekar played the lead and he was a rage in those days as one of those "intellectual" middle class men struggling with relationships both at home and outside... my brother had started watching it... we both loved Sachin Khedekar... but in this particular "serial", he was enamored by Irrfan, who played supporting role, and kept telling me this guy is a genius.... Irrfan had a knack of telling each of his lines in a way that captivated you.... Since the show was directed by Lekh Tandon and penned by Revati Sharma it had to have good lines but when it came to Irrfan, he made even the simplest of lines into great quips.. One thing I remember from Adhikaar was the restlessness in him in every scene..... Anywho, to be honest... I was not as big a fan of his as my brother....

Then came Star Bestsellers... and Irrfan featured in some of those episodes..... I remember one such episode where-in he played someone who kept impersonating with different identities to help others in need and loved it.... I guess it was time for me to be enamored by him.... after that, whatever he appeared in, I watched.

and then came Maqbool... while the movie had Naseer, Om Puri, Tabbu, Pankaj Kapoor (and ofcourse he does steal the movie), what stayed with me (and still does) were Irrfan's eyes..... the constant guilt in them, the pathos....(and again that restlessness)

and every other movie he acted in, and no matter what role he played, the way he emoted felt it was you or one of your own who was playing it.... I remember "Mumbai Meri Jaan" in which he played a small part of vendor who keeps making false bomb calls... I rooted for him and his story remains till this day with me....

My brother started watching Adhikaar once again a month back... and after finishing it... he again started watching it for Irrfan... he got the news of his death a few episodes into it.... he complains due to the loud background music he cant always hear the dialogs well especially the ones that Irrfan utters.... and in a way, he's right.... the background noise probably is too much for us to hear Irrfan, ever again. or may be... .just may be... My brother is stuck in 90s where in Irrfan was so pure, unadulterated and only a few like my brother knew him, and I know my brother to be greedy !

... and as for Irrfan, I dont think he will rest in peace.... his restlessness will get better of him !! Hope it does !!!

Vihir : The Review

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 00:25:00 +0000

11 PM...
one of those days when you want to watch a movie that just flows like a river... you ask her half-heartedly if she has any suggestions... she comes up with a weird name "Vihir"... you have heard the name... "no.." you say... not in that mood... and you go back to your minesweeper... nothing comes up in your mind... except Sooraj Ka Saatvan Ghoda... which you have already seen 10s of times .... and which happily provides you a refuge when no other films you think would .... "Lets see.... Vihir"... she repeats as if it is a new suggestion... it is getting on your nerves now... "forget it" you say and get back to your game.... and then suddenly there's this sound, as if it is coming from a river flowing nearby, reaches you.... it's not the river.... but is equally pleasing .... you feel as if you are hearing Ananda Shankar's Tanusree... but its not.... you look at the movie that she has already started....

4 AM...
she has gone to sleep.... you are still watching the movie... you have played and replayed the scenes... again and again... your eyes are moist.... you want to cry.... the film ends.... and all you want to do is to cry !!!

Directed by Umesh Kulkarni, Vihir is a film about two teenagers who are cousins-cum-friends... it is a film about their journey to seek the meaning of death... and it is about their search to find the hidden answers of life... it is this hide and seek of life and death that the film has portrayed outstandingly well. And what an astonishing way to portray this thru the game itself...

The film starts with Nachiket, Sameer(Samya) and the exchange of letters between the two... Nachiket, the elder of the two, has finished his 10th and is puzzled by the way the world works with it's idiosyncrasies... he seeks the answers of things which are somewhere between the layers of physics and spirituality.... he wants to find the universe's center of energy... he wants to feel the moment when the energy changes it's form... Sameer, on the other hand, has no interest in physics or for that matter studies. His interest lies in swimming... for him the highs of the life lie in doing a care-free backstroke under the cloudy sky... The common thing that brings a shine in their eyes is the chance to meet and spend time together during their aunt's upcoming marriage...

All the sisters have reached their parents house with their children weeks prior to the wedding to help the family prepare for the wedding.... the children use this time to play the game of hide-and-seek.... while all the children are trying to hide: Nachiket, instead of hiding in some dark corner, sits right in the veranda quietly, when asked by the aunt he explains... he cannot be seen as he is invisible. Later on, when the game ends he is asked by Sameer the reason for not hiding.... he explains that the one who is seeking tries to find in all the dark corners but is oblivious to the things that are visible to his eyes... and hence if you don't try to hide... the seeker will not be able to find you as no one looks at the things that are visible to eyes. He tries to explain to Sameer that being invisible is not being not there but ... being invisible is looking at things but not perceiving them to be there.... It is at this point that Sameer sees a spark of the struggle that is going inside Nachiket.... neither the ability to grasp such a theory nor the wish to understand it further Sameer gives up the topic calling it complex physics.

while the family is engrossed in the preparation, financial and other difficulties of the sisters and the bride's reluctance to marry, Nachiket and Samya see the things from their newly found perspective which is the first tragedy of their adolescence... they are at a weird cross-roads of life where in they understand that the life is not as simple as the game of hide and seek or a bedtime story.... they also don't have the maturity to understand the worldly ways and the logic behind it.... it is this mid-way between two worlds that intrigues them, especially Nachiket. Although quiet on the outside, there is a battle that has started within him.... it is even worse for him as he feels away from the family and the worldly things that he does not agree with...

Meanwhile in-between the continuous bustling at the home... Nachiket and Samya visit the village well to swim and keep visiting it. During one such visit, Nachiket talks about running away with the wind... Samya, crazy about his elder brother, quips that he would catch up with him wherever Nachiket would go.... Nachiket tells him how disturbed and suffocated he feels in the world and how he would like to run away from everyone and everything and be free like the wind... Samya is angry towards his brother and the best friend, as he can not imagine his life without Nachiket.... he also can not understand the things on life, death and being invisible... for him it is just the complex physics which is on the verge of taking his best friend away from him....

Samya leaves the village for a short visit to his city for the swimming competition.... he returns back only to find his cousin, mentor and best friend Nachiket leaving everybody behind... but he has not run away.... he has drowned in the same well that they used to visit and talk in.... its here that samya's long journey starts.... he can not understand the fact that Nachiket is no longer with him to talk to or to write to.... it even disturbs him more that he could not understand what Nachiket meant when he perceived it to be complex physics.... the only clue he has is that Nachiket was disturbed and felt suffocated by the world around him... and he wanted to run away like wind being invisible...

... and thus begins Samya's quest to find the answers that his big brother took away with him. It is an incredible mourning and pain inside Samya that keeps questioning the reason behind the death and life... the movie reaches its climax when samya runs away from the home to seek nachiket not in some dark corner of his gloomy existence but in the most visible places his eyes could never see.... the second half of the movie has another actor to it in form of silence... have never seen silence being used so well in a film before... it is a deafening silence of the struggle within Samya... and at the same time it is an extremely quiet residual of the world that Samya is left with, after Nachiket's departure.... it is this journey that he has to make alone.... in the end this film is not about the eternal spark Nachiket had... but it becomes Samya' journey from darkness to brightness

I will leave it to the readers (if at all there are any) to find whether Samya catches up with Nachiket or not.

The film is a visual treat... the angles that Sudhir Palsane has used not only makes you a part of the film but also brings emotions by making the audience a member of the vast maternal family... there are countless scene which will take your breath away.... the initial one where in you are taken into the house is fascinating.... it is the first scene that actually sets the tone of the entire movie.... you will feel as if you have been whisked into the game of hide-and-seek.... one of the high point in cinematography is Sudhir's ability to capture the distant scenes... the camera is deliberately away even in some of the scenes which show Sameer and Nachiket's emotions... I am sure the crew would have known that the viewer would be flowing in the emotions that they want to bring out.. the usage of the distant angles for characters using the well, the family yard, the trees, the vast barren lands makes the invisible character of the rustic village to life...

The music by Mangesh Dhakade is exceptional. The silence within the film and the music has been used as the master stroke... they have just melted with the script.... I guess the credit of it goes to the writers Satee Bhave, Girish Kulkarni(who also plays the uncle in the film splendidly) and the director.

The film has Mohan Agashe, Sulabha Deshpande and other actors... however, it is the chemistry between Madan Deodhar and Aalok Rajwade playing Nachadada and Samya that brings the film to life.... in fact it has been shot so well you will feel the director has put cameras on actual locations with actual people...

One of the best films I have ever seen... Simply superb... wish I could be invisible and go back to the streets of my childhood again... hope the wind carries me with it... and hope it hides me well.

.... and yes I was an ass to ignore this gem.... I saw this more than a year after it released.... would have been decades had "A" not pestered me.....

Thanks Sudhish Kamath and Amrita for sharing such a treat !!!

Alien

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 18:30:00 +0000

He looked at the reflection in the mirror...

The eyes were red. He couldn't remember whether they ever were white. The face looked haggard. The mirror, as per it's habit, returned the truth back to him. The water droplets were slipping down his face to the lower parts. The shower hadn't helped. He could still feel the fatigue hovering around him like the silence he was used to. For a moment or two, he thought of turning the shower back but then decided against it.

He pulled the towel and wiped his face clean. He looked at the scars on his body and remembered the days he used to feel ashamed of the disfigurements. A smirk came on his face. Now to look back, he thought, those were the normal days.
He dreaded the last step. He always had. To open, enter and face the outside world.

He gave the last look at the tired reflection and sighed. The face looked similar but it wasn't his own.
They had won... They had finally converted him.

image courtesy : Pradyumna Sarkar

Quests and Careers

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 19:13:00 +0000

... around two and a half months back... I met these wonderful people.
I described the idea to mentor the Java Freshers batch to Bhairav...

foolishly, It seems we have taken up the idea to "correct" everything which is going wrong...
Listed all the things which usually go wrong in the learning programs and how the IT organizations have become "large-scale" factories for programmers. No new ideas crop up... and even they do... they are silenced by "we-know-it-all" jerks...

anyway... we did try...
All of them have graduated with excellent scores. Within a day or two they will be lost in this rat-race of deliveries-appraisal-salary : the life.... and there awaits a cruel world outside.

a lot of them would be sucked into the crazy circus... but if a few... if just a few can question the rules... wouldn't it be all worth?... because we have taught them to ask questions... Haven't we?

Hindi Cinema : 10 Years... 10 Films

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 22:43:00 +0000

Before I start another of my countdown, Let me clarify, this certainly is not the list of 10 best films of the decade. I would rather tag it as "10 Hindi Films of the decade I would like my grandchildren to watch". The list is of 10 films which attracted me the most from 2000 to 2009. I wish I had also seen films like Amu, 15th Park Avenue, Firaaq, Paanch, The Namesake and many others before writing this blog... (disclaimer : loooong post)

10 : Pinjar (2003) : Blame me for being extremely nostalgic, but I am a sucker for period dramas especially on partition. May be it's my Sindhi blood and may be I worship Gulzar too much. Pinjar is a heart-wrenching tale of a girl who gets entagled in the worst disaster of our history, the partition.

When you compare it with M S Sathyu's Garm Hawa, Pinjar might not stand anywhere, still every time, I watch this movie, it gives me goosebumps. It's a fantastic movie with brilliant performances from Urmila Matondkar, Manoj Bajpai & Priyanshu Chatterjee. After Maachis, this was one movie with a lot of brilliant scenes. Take the scene where Rashid(Manoj Bahpai) tells Puro(Urmila) how his heart has somehow found solace by the loss of his burnt down farms by her brother. However, my favorite remains the last one in which Puro runs to find Rashid, Initially her tormentor and then her soul-mate.

Expectedly, the film didn't do well and Chandra Prakash Dwivedi hasn't made any films since. But I hope he does, as I know just like me, many others have adored Pinjar.

9 : The Blue Umbrella (2005) : Back in my school days, we used to have a week of celebration as Children's week every year. A cinema hall in the city used to show-case children's films for all 7 days in the morning show, and we, as children, used to get free passes for these films. Strangely, many of the films that we saw were not "children's" films, rather they were movies with child actors. I am not sure whether I need to put The Blue Umbrella as children's film. My problem is with the new films. We either come up with animation movies or movies with tons of special effects. To be sell-able the movie must have something extra-ordinary. I don't sincerely have a problem with these things. However, it doesn't leave any space for a simple story.

I am glad Vishal did come up with one. The Blue Umbrella is a story of a small village in Himachal where Binya is the apple of the eyes for the villagers because of a marvelous umbrella she possesses. The film revolves around a shopkeeper, the richest person in the town, and his scheming ways to have the umbrella.

The film excels due to a simple and endearing story (by Ruskin Bond) and brilliant performances by Pankaj Kapoor & Shreya Sharma. There is a scene in the film where Nandu is dealing with his injuries and the dilapidated shop after being outcast from the village. The girl visits him to buy some toffees. It brings an expression on his face which nobody else but Pankaj Kapoor could have produced. It's a shame nobody else (but Vishal) has used his skills to this extent lately. It's a gem, not to be missed.

8 : Sehar (2005) : Directed by Kabeer Kaushik, Sehar is a film about the police force and the way it tackles organized crime. The movie, instead of following a usual action-thriller-emotion genre, deals with it's subject purely on the technicalities. This was one of the reasons, the film failed and to my utter disgust didn't even have a show in some of the big cities. The distributers/theatre owners just refused the film before even we could decide it's fate. None-the-less, this has been one of the bravest films ever to be produced. My sincere salute to the producer/director of the movie for coming up with such an honest film.

Sehar follows SSP Ajay Kumar(played by Arshad Warsi)'s Special Task Force which has been assigned to deal with Gajraj Singh and in general the organized crime in UP. The film is set in the 90's when mobile phones were new and the entire force was unaware of the technicalities. Ajay Kumar enlists the help of a Physics lecturer, Prof. Tiwari (played brilliantly by Pankaj Kapoor). The entire story has been told as a flashback from the professor's perspective. It would be wrong for me to compare Sehar with Ardh Satya, but I can not help myself, and believe me, this movie does justify the comparison. To this date, It has been the best performance by Arshad Warsi, in my opinion. Sadly, Kabeer Kaushik hasn't repeated the spark that he showed in his first film.

7 : Black Friday (2004) : Before I even start writing about this one, let me lament again(as in my earlier blogs) that this movie could certainly have brought an Oscar nomination, if not the award itself.
Every time, I dream about making a film, Anurag Kashyap's struggles pull me back. His fault, he came up with two wonderful movies which didn't go well with our government. Yes, in the name of religion & region our leaders are supposed to kill innocents, but in the name of Cinema, you can not portray the same on celluloid.
So, even before my capabilities as a movie-freak are considered, I concede the defeat. I simply do not have guts to struggle. Better be a blogger.
Black Friday depicts the real-life events of the Mumbai Bomb Blast of 1993 which claimed over a thousand lives. The film is based on the book by Hussain Zaidi. The script is tightly bound with the book (and yes, it is strange in Hindi Film Industry). The movie has endearing performances by almost everybody (& it does have a lot of actors) topped by Aditya Shrivastava. It's a miracle, Anurag pulled it off in the industry. A lot of cinephiles actually started understanding all the aspects of Cinema after knowing about Kashyap's plight.

6 : Munnabhai MBBS (2003) : If filmmakers like Anurag Kashyap & Dibakar Banerjee introduced us to new genres & styles of film-making, Rajkumar Hirani did the other way round. He took us back to the golden old days of film-making when we had clean and endearing stories by Hrishida.

Munnabhai series is, in true sense, a first of it's kind series of films in India similar to Shrek & Ice-age. Munna & Circuit are the stooges we had always missed in our cinema. Both the movies in the series are enjoyable to the hilt because of the endearing acts from Sanjay Dutt & Arshad Warsi. These movies are like Pani-Puris.... you are always ready for the next as soon as you finish the one in your hand. So keep serving...

5 : Gulaal (2009) : Well I know, one would not agree with my selection for Gulaal ahead of DevD and Black Friday. However, this being my list (for my grandchildren), I have the right of my own guilt-pleasure, and this being one of them.

Although questionable in a lot of selection criterias, this certainly is a movie which has remained my favorite of all Anurag Kashyap movies (I am yet to watch Paanch). Unlike the tightly bound script of Black Friday, Gulaal gave Kashyap a vast ground to play with and to build the characters. And boy-o-boy, he does have a knack to build them... I am sure, it is easier to do so when you are also a good scriptwriter and a wonderful casting director.

Gulaal is the story of college politics in a fictional city of Rajasthan. Two gangs are at loggerheads to gain the control of the university. Both of which are being controlled by two warring scions. The story revolves around a commoner who gets involved in the mud and how he is used by each of the gangs. The movie is a class in itself. It is a must for every dreamer like me who adores cinema. It is amazing to see how Kashyap has come up with such wonderful cast & crew. Characters like Prithvi Bana, played by Piyush Mishra who also happens to be the Music Director of the movie, and Bahrupiya are the actual masterstrokes which provide the dark undertone of the movie. The music is outstanding.

The film is about politics. More so, It's about self-indulgence of a film-maker. And who am I to complain, as long as it gives my dose of cinema.... Kashyap... Take a Bow.

4 : Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi (2005) : (excerpts taken from one of my earlier blogs). Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi is a film about youth and what defines it: Ambition, Love & Dreams. The film is about three friends who study in the era of the beginning of the naxal movements. Siddharth - An energetic student who dreams of a marxist revolution & equality in India. Geeta- A girl for whom life is nothing but love, towards Siddhartha and his morals, and finally Vikram- an ambitious go-getter who lusts for power and money and loves Geeta. Their persona is a reflection of their upbringing. Siddharth being from an upper class hasn't ever worried about his own bread n butter so he does about others. Geeta, from a middle-class family, thinks about a peaceful life and a husband in Siddharth. Vikram, on the other hand has suffered because of his father's Gandhian philosophy and hence is always after money. They all go their separate ways after their dreams and how they turn out to be. Film has a wonderful cast of Kay Kay Menon, Chitrangada Singh & Shiney Ahuja.

This is a wonderful film by Sudhir Mishra and is mildly similar to his earlier film, Yeh Woh Manzil To Nahin, which is impossible to be found.

3 : Khosla Ka Ghosla (2006) : Khosla Ka Ghosla did in Hindi Film Industry what Fargo did in Hollywood. This small budget film came and conquered the industry just the way Fargo did. Khosla Ka Ghosla is a brilliant example of how a film should be made. The first and foremost of it is the script. For this, I think both Jaideep Sahni & Dibakar should be commended. The film has a wonderful script, nice characters, actors that fit the characters(and not only SRKs, AKs, HRs & Akkis for every lead role) and the use of locales & sets that fit the entire story line.

The film is about a middle class family in Delhi. KK Khosla, the patriarch of the family, has bought a piece of land in Delhi investing all his savings. However the land-sharks usurp the land. The film shows the family's struggle to get their own land back and their own individual struggles. Every scene from the movie is tragic but hilarious. Notice the performance of Boman Irani and you'll notice our own Al Pacino. Some time back, I had reviewed "It's a wonderful Life" and had written that the characters of Bert & Ernie actually gives a better understanding of George's character. The same way, It's the character of Munjal that is so brilliantly written, it makes you understand Khurana.

Dibakar, in one of his interviews, said that the film's heart is in the character of the land-shark Khurana. For me, it lies in the characterization of Kamal Kishor Khosla and his pal Mr. Sahni. Anyway, I think I'll go by Dibakar's view because as Mr. Sahni put it "Bhenchod, Yeh Zamana Hi Compromise Ka Hai" !

2 : Maqbool (2003) : I read somewhere Maqbool is Macbeth meets Godfather. In fact, Vishal Bhardwaj himself also acknowledged that the film is his adaption of Macbeth. It has taken the inspiration from the bard's play however it is the most "original" adapted screenplay that comes to my mind.

The film starts with the mafia don Abbaji and his adopted muse Maqbool. The film shows Maqbool & Nimmi's betrayal of Abbaji and it's final outcome. Vishal's script has converted the three witches in the corrupt police officers who play the comic officers cum astrologers. Again, Pankaj Kapoor stills the show by his powerful portrayal of Abbaji. Such a wonderful actor he is. He is present in around 10 scenes only but you will feel it during the entire movie.

I wish Omkara would have been of the same class. Ajay Devgan messed up the character of Othello. Every time he needed to show emotion, he looked constipated. But I believe, one can't help it. I myself mess it up every time I try to cook Poha at home.

Coming back to Maqbool, this is truly a marvel to be cherished by connoisseurs.

1 : Mithya (2008) : Again an act of pure self-indulgence from my end. However, if I have to choose one movie from the entire decade (2000 - 2009), It would certainly be Mithya.

Directed by Rajat Kapoor, Mithya is a story of a struggling actor VK, played by Ranvir Shorey, who has the same face as of a mafia don. All VK wants to do is to act and fails. So what if an actor loses his memory and is told that he is a Don. Just like the characters of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where the perennial lovers end up finding each other in their lost memories, an actor in VK does play the role of a Don which he is not.
The film is a masterpiece with a wonderful cast & extremely haunting background music.

This is one film, I am not sure how to categorize it. However, just like Raghu Romeo, it is another of Rajat Kapoor's mystery which I might find an answer to in coming years...
... as for Ranvir, this has been his best performance till date... same for Neha & Brijendra Kala.

... There are other movies too which I just loved in the past decade like Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Part II, Raghu Romeo... but I think If I have to give 10 to my children and then theirs, It would certainly be the ones I mentioned above...

(Courtesy : All the photographs are taken from Google and digitally modified by me. Kindly let me know for any violation I may be doing)

Diaries.

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:11:00 +0000

First you write them...
... few years later, you laugh at the silly things you wrote
... some more years pass, you realize, all the things you laughed at, does make sense now...

Caution : This diary is infected with ... LIFE. - The first line from my wife's diary.

of Asses, Idiots, movies .... and Mr. Masand

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sun, 23 May 2010 14:29:00 +0000

Ever heard the famous line from Sholay ???

गब्बर तुम एक मारोगे तो हम चार मारेंगे

Well... If not... Mr. Masand... has an even better line....

गधे, तुम एक लाओगे तो मैं दो लाऊंगा

.... well, obviously the reference as an ASS here is me.... So what if (as per Mr. Masand) there are only a handful of people who haven't liked Kites... while most of the "movie-geek"s are ravishing the gem which is not only brave but also ambitious...

The entire twittersation....

so being an ass... an idiot... I will follow Mr. Masand's advice.... I will suit myself in an Armani suit...
but wait....who the hell will lend an Armani to a Thavrani.... Hey... Mr. Johar... Are you listening? I will write something good about your soon-to-be-released original "stepmom" :)

It's a Wonderful Life : Review

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 20:44:00 +0000

I know... I am 64 years late in reviewing the film. After being pestered by Amrita for almost 6 months, I did watch it finally. I am glad, I did. And I am glad I can't stop myself writing about it... after all, it's not every day that you watch such a simple gem.

Directed by Frank Capra, It's a wonderul life is the story of George Bailey (played by James Stewart), a do-gooder on the verge of committing suicide. After hearing the prayers of his family and friends, the god sends an angel to save him.

Now we all know, how the story will end. But believe me, it's not about the simple story or the simpleton protagonist. The movie is about us, about our struggles, about our frustrations, about the hard life and about everything the wonderful life brings. It's about the most basic principle of the life, humanity.

The film starts with an Angel Second Class who is waiting since last 200 years to get his wings. The only way to get his wings is to stop George from committing suicide. Before sending him to the earth, we are shown the glimpses of George's earlier life in which he saves his kid brother from drowning, saves the local chemist from prescribing poison to a kid. George's father runs the Bailey Building and Loan association which is vital to the residents of Bedford Falls, a small town. The reasons for running Building and Loan are not financial ones but to save the town from going in the hands of Mr. Potter, a shrewd and scheming businessman who aims to control and own every visible property of Bedford Falls.

George dreams of conquering the world, becoming an adventurer, building skyscrapers and long bridges. He discusses his plans with Mary Hatch, the girl who secretly loves him since he was a boy. However, he has to wait till his brother is ready to take his place at Building and Loans. On the graduation night of his brother, his father dies of a stroke. Mr. potter, who is now a shareholder in the company convinces the board to stop providing the home loans to poor people. George fights to save the company but the board agrees to him only on one condition, George running the company. This shatters all his dreams. He sends his brother to the college while continuing with his father's dream. From here, starts his long struggle to save the town from going in potter's hands. Every time, he has a chance to leave the town, a tragedy takes place and he is forced to stay back. He becomes the prisoner of his father's dreams and his goodwill. When his brother returns from the college with a bride and doesn't show interest in staying in town, George accepts that he will never be able to leave the town. Every dream that he saw of himself is being lived by his younger brother Harry. Harry goes on to get the congressional medal while George struggles to stay afloat during the depression and world war. Finally, the loss of eight thousand dollars (which was to save the company from bankruptcy) by an uncle snaps him. He breaks down.

Clerance, the angel, stops him and shows him the life that would have been in Bedford without George. He sees the town(now Pottersville) and is shocked to see what life could have been without him. He then understands that although the life is not as beautiful and adventurous as he had dreamt, it still is wonderful. And the best part is, although he could not do what he had always wanted, he still had made a difference to the lives of hundreds in the town.

The film's beauty lies in it's simplistic and wonderful message which was also seen in Capra's other movies It happened one night, Mr Deeds goes to town and Mr. smith goes to Washington. You can relate him to Hrishikesh Mukherjee (although Capra came a lot earlier than Hrishida) and now when I think of the Hrishida films, I sense they might have been influenced by Capra's films.

It was a shame that this movie didn't do well when it was released.... and it's still a shame that the movie has been typecast as a Christmas movie...

... and as I said... what makes the film great is it's simplicity. The town of Bedford Falls is so believable, it almost becomes a character of the movie. It is difficult to create a character like George.... but it is the even more difficult to create affable characters like Bert and Ernie (who play George's friends in the movie) which Capra does with ease.

... there are a lot of scenes in the movie which will leave a lasting impression on you and for days you will talk about it... like the one in which George goes to Mary's house to talk to her ... and ends up fighting with her... and finally kissing her... it shows everything his life is.... George's attraction towards Mary... his frustration of not becoming what he dreamt of... his desire of leaving the town.... and his love towards Mary, town, his family and everybody he has ever known.... watch this movie for this scene... watch it for the scene when George and Mary hit the old house with stones... and yes watch it for scene that involves their daughter Zuzu's petals.

and just like Zuzu's petals.... life, really, is wonderful !!!

The project gets over

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 12:26:00 +0000

... a project that I was working on is getting over... I don't write about my professional life (as it is just not what I am)... but this project was something very close to me...
Firstly... I started it in 2008 and was associated with it since last 2 years... It came as a month long pilot and went on to become almost a 2-year venture.

Financially, it didn't give me anything... while I got a salary cut of 1 lac the organization went on to make more than $1M...
Ironically... the best of the compliments came from the people who I managed... more than half the team, who worked day and night for me giving much more than what a person should give to a project, told me it was a pleasure to work for me and they would like to join the project which I take up.... a team member in-fact kept on asking for starting my own venture (which I kept on refusing) which he would love to join...
The client showered praises and told me with every ups and downs in the project.. one thing made him sure all the time... and that was my commitment...

.... after a bad hike/appraisal.... these 2 things still made my day !!!

... looking forward to the lousy steps ahead.... telling unworthy people what I am worth... preparing resume and looking for a new project in the same organization.... Life is a bitch !!!

Oye Hari... Hari Oye

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:23:00 +0000

This story is again from the chawl of Junagadh. I have tried to recreate it by various discussions that I had with my sister remembering the chawl which has made us what we are today... !!!

Part 1 : PROLOGUE : Bhavna remembers Harikant Masa

"You know Kalpesh?, the best thing that happened to us was the chawl. Even after 18 years, the place that still controls my dreams is the chawl."

"Yes, I know. In a way, it was good that we didn't have money and ended up being there, in the chawl"

"and you know... I still dream of the chawl... All of them... our landlord lakhifai, Naynaji, Usha Masi and Harikant Masa"

"Ohhh.. Harikant Masa? How is he? Must be very old now... "

"Yes... He has crossed 70... and can barely see now... can not even get up from the bed... ... You know this person was our neighbor. Since the partition between the two houses(rooms) was just a thin wooden ply. Both the families could hear what was happening in the other family. I remember, theirs was the first house in the chawl to get a TV set. You might not remember... but they used to pamper us a lot. Every now and then, they would treat us with Dosa parties, Paun Bhajis, Samosa, Pani Puri and what not... he was like a father... You know since we could not afford a lot of items during Sushila's marriage... they gifted us a lot which helped in Sushila's dowry."

"But... as far as I can remember... Harikant Masa was a pauper... and didn't even have a steady job"

"Well... that's just another story"

Part 2 : Mr. Mehta speaks

I have known Hari since he was a boy. I still remember the day he got his job in the Electricity Board. I think, he was the first engineer from this city. I am not sure you know... I am getting too old.
Every day, people would queue to see him home. So that they could meet him and ask for a favor.
What kind of favor? The usual ones. The members from his community would want him to place some of their people in petty jobs in the department. His neighbors would ask him ways to avoid their electricity bills. His friends would take him out and have parties on his money. They would make him do a lot of bad things. He didn't refuse anyone. Possibly... he didn't see anything wrong in it. For him, honesty was not as big a thing as making his dear ones happy. .. and you know... everybody wants to be a dear one to a successful person.. rite? You know during his prime time, he would use his jeep to even go to a Paanwala.
I always had a feeling, Hari would find himself in a lot of trouble. His friends were not good. They would always make plans to earn money thru Hari's position. I met him one morning. He was not his jovial self. So I asked him if everything was alright. He laughed it off as usual and said... nothing Mr. Mehta, just planning for a small vacation with friends... that's all what he said. Just after a day, I saw police inquiring about him. He was wanted in a scam of 35 lacs. Can you imagine, 35 lacs in those days? It was never heard of.
No... he didn't run away with the money. He never did after any of his crime. He was always there. How could he? The last thing he would do was to harm his family and friends. He surrendered himself immediately. But that's not what surprised me. You know... he took the entire blame on himself.
Yes, you got it right. His friends had planned it. He was just a pawn. But when it came to accepting the blame. Nobody came forward. Everybody had families to look after. So what if he too had a wife and two daughters. Well.. his friends promised him to look after his family. He was sentenced for 7 years. Due to his good behavior he was let off just after 4 years

He always had troubles after that. Could not afford the earlier luxuries and ended up with his family in the chawl. Luckily, he got a job in the Hospital as a clerk. But there also he could not mend his ways... again forged the signatures and siphoned off around 2 lacs. So I believe... you have the answer now... The Dosas, Samosas and Ice Creams didn't come by his own money. You know Kalpesh... after everything that has happened. I still think he was an honest person.

Part 3 : The End : Bhavna's visit to Masa.

Dedicated to Harikant Masa who was part of our little chawl and Bhavna who still keeps the old memories alive and visits all the people who formed the chawl... though I know both of them will never read this post.
PS : Blog Name is taken from the film Oye Lucky...Lucky Oye

"So , did you meet Harikant Masa? "

"Yes... I did and I cried like a child. You know he could barely recognize me. Usha Masi had to yell my name twice. But he was so overwhelmed to see me."

"How is he? What did he say?"

"He was so happy and said

"Arre... Bhavna Beta... It's so good to see you...You know me and your Masi miss you so much. As we don't have anything to do now. We keep remembering the good old days of the chawl. You remember, how did we enjoy our little parties. The chawl is not as it used to be... everybody is new now. Our days were different. Mr. Mehta died some months back. I have not visited the chawl after that. But let me not tell you the sad news. You know... I have been so happy in my life. But sometimes, it makes me sad that I can't see you as well as my daughters. You know... they are also happy but they hardly visit us. Me and your Masi, are just waiting for our last moments. The only way to pass the time is to remember the good old days. You know, I am so glad that you came... nobody visits us these days"
... and then he started crying... I couldn't stay there... I ran away with tears in my eyes"

Hindi Films : The Top 10... who brought the change

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 20:25:00 +0000

Change is inevitable... and it has taken place in Hindi Film Industry... at a slow rate... still the last decade has been amazing... with new directors coming in... struggling to make films.... and struggling to get them released...

... so here is my Top 10... people who did bring the change....
(PS : This is not a list of Top 10 ... but the top 10 who changed the way the films were made)

10 : Ram Gopal Varma : The man who started it all
Well... take it or not... he was the one who started making "different" films... starting with Satya in the late 90s... he continued making anti-love-thy-family films thru out the 00s. The only sad thing : he could have been much higher in the rankings... 10th rank justifies his factory that has given us at least 10 directors which in fact changed the way films are made these days... His life though seems as if we are seeing a fast-forward a la- Dev Anand

9 : Imtiaz Ali / Raj Kumar Hirani : Makers of Clean & Lovely Cinema
Well... there is a reason for having them both in the 9th place... because they make adorable films... films that are fun to watch... films that are clean... they don't make different films... and to an extent they haven't changed the industry greatly..

However they have proved comedy need not be vulgar... and love stories can also feature people who may normal people like us...
Raj Kumar is rightly compared with Hrishida.... Every time I see somebody watching Munnabhai (1 or 2)... I see a smile which goes on and on.... 3 idiots was a bit of a "clean" disappointment though... !!!
I remember watching Socha Na Tha on a CD... by the time the movie ended.... I knew I liked it... I didn't know why...
... I talked to a friend of mine... and he said... "I didn't like it... what's the point in making a love story where the hero/heroine just act as if they are commoners".... well... I had got my answer....

8 : Rajat Kapoor : Independent film maker
This one's my favorite... and all he wants to do is to make films... A film-maker since 16 years but came to prominence after the affable Raghu Romeo which did rounds to a lot of film festivals... it won some awards too... I was stunned to see the movie... after Mixed Doubles... he came again with Mithya.... which in my opinion is among the top 5 films of the last decade.... Another reason for having him in this list is his ability to bring talent to films.... Ranvir Shourey... Vinay Pathak... Saagar Bellary .... all of them made their mark because of Rajat.
PS : I have a dream to meet this person... Rajat... are you listening?

7 : Farhan Akhtar : Filmy... very filmy...
I know a lot of my friends would want to kill me for this one... well... I am not a great fan of his... but I have to say... he did to the Indian Cinema what Tarantino did with Hollywood... Dil Chahta Hai was not only a good film but a film which spawned an entirely new genre of movies... It's been 9 years since DCH... the amazing part is you still see movies in which the storyline is a deviation of DCH.... He doesn't make great films.... but all is films are fun.... Don too was a mediocre film.... but when did he brag it being a "Do Bigha Zameen"... make no mistake... he is here for the commercial movies... and has been good at it...
... I surely would have put Zoya Akhtar in this... however she is just one film old...

6 : Jaideep Sahni : The script-writer....
Jaideep reintroduced a lot of directors with the most basic part of the film... the Script. When most of out film-jokers kept relying on on-the-set-scene-writers... he came up with a water-tight script. Jaideep has been a blessing to the Industry. I can't understand how RGV lost him... I am waiting for him to direct a movie in the coming years... and I hope he does... unless Yashraj are keen on using him for more "Aaja Nachley"s

5 : Ranvir Shourey / Vinay Pathak / Kay Kay Menon / Boman Irani / Abhay Deol / Konkona Sen Sharma : Actors par excellence
This place goes to the new breed of actors.... and I know I am missing a lot of them... what they have done is outstanding.... These people look like us.... they feel the way we do... and whenever you see them... it feels as if you are watching a part of yourself on the celluloid...

4 : Dibakar Banerjee : The magician
If you want to watch a movie... and then forget about it... make sure it's not from Dibakar. The guy has made 3 movies... 3 totally different movies.... and all of them masterpieces.... His journey started with Khosla Ka Ghosla... and every time I saw Anupam Kher... he reminded me of my dad... and every time I saw Boman Irani... he reminded me of a relative of mine I can't write about in the blog... All his movies talk about people... who are like us... I have a suggestion for him though....
"Man... don't put.... "All the characters in the films are fictious" in your movies... they never look that way"

3 : Vishal Bhardwaj : The Shakespeare of the films
Like his mentor Gulzar, Vishal is a man with extreme talent.... a fantastic composer, a terrific writer, and in my opinion, the best director in the Hindi Film Industry today (and if he has his ways... he sings too). All of his movies have been absolute gems...
Again... the best thing about him is that he doesn't limit himself to any genres in film-making... he made his directorial debut with Makdee.... a children's film.... Maqbool and Omkara were based on shakespearean plays with the mafioso background.... Blue Umbrella was again a fantastic film (although for me it was never a children film)... He proved in Kaminey that he too could make a commercial one... and that too better than the rest.

2 : Anurag Kashyap : Arrogant, Indulgent, Narcissist
What RGV started with.... Anurag has reached that height... I am one of those who people who have always believed that India lost out on an Oscar by not letting his Black Friday release... This man has fought a lone battle for years... and it has been our loss all the time...
This man is the Stanley Kubrick of our industry.... if he makes a movie... it surely will have a lot of shit in that... If there is one person who knows about cinema more than anybody... it has to be Anurag. Probably one of the best script-writer in India. Has an amazing sense of music.... finally he is catching up on whatever he has lost out on. Will always be remembered as a man who changed Hindi Film Industry forever.... still the first place doesn't go to him....

1 : Ronnie Screwvala : The Sky where all of them can fly
All the 9 entries above are film-makers or actors... However, the top slot goes to this man... who doesn't direct, act or do anything within the film... but he makes sure... that anybody and everybody who knows films should be in films... He is the one who has introduced our audience to films that nobody wanted to produce... he not only produced them but also made sure they were commercially viable. He gave a platform where people like you and me can make films. and no He is not here to loose money... he is here to change the way Hindi Films were produced... it has taken time for UTV Motion Pictures and UTV Spotboy to be where they are... but the revolution has begun.... and now other major names have joined in... but he is the one who is at the top... and should remain so....

I could have gone on length mentioning much more about these great people... however... let me stop here.... and as I said... this list is about the people who did make a change... not about the greatest... hence names like Shekhar Kapoor, A R Rehman, Sudhir Mishra are missing.... since change mostly starts with filmmakers... most of the people mentioned here are directors....

The Betrayal

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:57:00 +0000

The brother :

You know, I have never forgotten it. I still have dreams of what happened initially in Keshod and then in Junagadh. Whatever money I had, I invested in the shop thinking it would be safe with her and her husband. How could they betray me. But I was wrong and stupid too... they kept giving me two hundred rupees and one day I was no longer a partner. I was a servant in my own shop. On some days, they would not give me my salary of 3 rupees a day. For them, they could club two days salary and give me on the next day... but for me... I could not buy the oil, rice and roti that could feed my family. I did not know how to deal in business... and I did not know to question people who were my own

The sister :

I couldn't stop anything. People kept telling my husband to kick his wife's brother out and he did it. My daughters tell me the destiny has taken a revenge on them because of whatever we did. There are days when he wakes up and asks.... Is it Keshod ?.... I think this is Keshod.

They talk of a man betraying his country, his friends, his sweetheart.

There must be a moral bond first.

All a man can betray is his conscience. - Joseph Conrad

Trance

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:03:00 +0000

The kid who lives on the floor above has come to meet us along with his mom... He has a habit of finding/touching/pushing things which arouse his curiosity. After running his eyes thru every corner of the room, he settles his eyes on Scrabble, a game which was gifted by a friend but never played by me and Amrita.

I help him open the game while his mom is busy talking to my mom and Amrita.... I see an expression on mom and Amrita's face.... which is difficult to describe, but, can always be seen on the faces that have passed thru a recent trauma...
This expression is of relaxation - when after a long fight one has pulled out a victory
It's also of the pain - that somebody went thru but couldn't cry
and it carries the expression of a certain surprise... the reason for being the chosen one for the accident.

... the rickshaw driver is careless... even after being asked to drive slowly... he has not heard it...
... this is the last turn before our flat.... I hope he knows there is a pole ahead....
... before I can react.... there is a loud thud.... and a screeching voice of the bending metal.... The impact is so huge... I and dad are thrown out of the rickshaw.... Just before I am thrown out.... I remember the suppressed sounds that are trying to come out of mom, dad and amrita.... a faint cry.... which will haunt me for a long time if not forever...

I am awake.... and find myself a couple of meters away from the rickshaw... the rick is a mingled badly.... The front tyre is almost a feet above from the ground on the pole. The first thing I see is Amrita's face.... blood pouring from her nose and rolling down her cheeks... She is completely dazed... almost scared of the people who have crowded the rickshaw. I run towards her... and grab her... Her left hand has an unusual twist from the wrist... I know its a fracture..... "Dont worry.... I am here"... are the only words I keep saying for some time....

I hear mom's cries from the rickshaw... It's dark and not possible to see her. I put Amrita on the road.... She is scared....and in pain....I repeat myself.... "Dont worry.... nothing will happen.... I am with you"... and rush towards the auto.... mom is bleeding profusely.... I see blood everywhere on her face... its dripping out from every corner I see.... She is yelling..." Ohh... my leg is paining... " like me... she is also under the initial shock.... She keeps repeating her words for the next 2 hours.... in between.... she is telling me ... "I told you dont hire the auto... see I told you".... I see mom trapped behind the rickshaw.... a couple of bystanders come to the rescue.... and we pull mom out.... I still havent seen papa.... He was thrown out on the other side.... He seems to be okay but bleeding on the forehead.... I yell.... "Amrita.... Amrita..." words are not coming out.... I am choked.... papa goes towards Amrita....

I remember... there is no good hospital nearby.... i cry for an auto.... "Call an auto immediately..." my hands are wet.... I dont know whether its blood or sweat.... I dont want to check....

I help mom to stand.... she is crying... "make me sit... I am not able to stand".... Papa has come to help mom... and I suddenly hear Amrita's voice... "dont touch me on my hands".... I run towards Amrita....

I ask the people who have gathered around Amrita to give me space.... "Dont worry... nothing will happen.... we are going to hospital"....
my back has started paining.... I pick her with some difficulty in my arms... she seems like a small kid.... I rush towards the auto which has stopped by... Amrita is still in my hands... I see people bringing mom towards us.... she is still yelling unconsciously... Amrita is on the verge of unconsiousness.... I try to keep her awake by talking to her.... Mom is saying something.... I look at her.... I am almost numb.... I can see her skull bone... There are two large cuts on her forehead....

We are in the hospital.... I scream "Bring the stretchers... bring them now"....

The kid has spelled his first word as "Try".... I see the letters in front of me.... I have two As, one R, one U.... I try to make the word TRAUMA.... but no..... M is still missing....

I look at them... they are still talking ....

Recession of thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:54:00 +0000

It's 8:30. The night has fallen in Pune. I zip my denim jacket thinking about the friend who had gifted it to me. I am no longer in touch with him but the jacket keeps reminding of him. The bike waits for me in the parking. There is a new scratch on the Princess. Pretty much visible and she tells me who might have done it. I dont know who has done it. May be the bastard who kept his bike besides me and who would have got dont-know-what-shit bike without even caring about mine? I grudgingly take the princess out of the stable and put my hand on the scar.. It might not heal her... but gives me a chance to feel it. "Ohh... I'll be fine.. don't worry" she tells me... and I give some half-kicks as if to awaken her from her sleep. Finally, the last one starts her up and I am on my way to home. It's only me and the princess now... for an hour of silent talks....
-
"Dont do anything after reaching home... Just enjoy your Taarak Mehta" She said... "Hmmm ..." I reply, planning to surprise her with the usual cooking of mine which invariably is some vegetable with a dish of rice, Pulaav mostly. It's a strange situation, I think. We got married 4 months back, and after our honeymoon, we have returned into the same rat-race. Well, Amrita likes to call us the Weekend Couple. For months, I have been working days and nights in the office. The Reason : The recession and my struggle to keep the project going and to increase it. Mostly I succeed, by sacrificing a part of the beautiful life that I have started enjoying thoroughly. and now, It's Amrita's turn to put long hours. I take a left turn towards Moshi village.

Its a small road towards the Moshi village. Stretches for 8kms till Moshi. The good thing is that, its devoid of any vehicle movement. A truck zooms past me giving me some additional accelaration. I change to the 5th gear. The crying sound of the nearby motorcycle which is wrongly into a lower gear, irritates me. It irrriates me, why most of the bikers dont know that you only change gear when you are accelarating. Some years back, a classmate of mine was the pillion when I was driving him in Hyderabad. I was driving at around 80, naturally he was shivering behind me. After some time, I decreased the speed of the bike not changing the gear immediately. He asked me why I am not changing the gears to 4th and then to 3rd every time the speed comes into that zone. I stay silent.

I touch the Moshi village. The next stretch is of 6kms. This is the best stretch in my journey and I usually test the prinecess here the most pushing her till 90 or 100. The 3 lane road for both the sides helps. The FM starts playing Tu Chupi Hai Kahaan from Navrang. I remember the discussions between Bhabha and Papa about the old films. I learned a lot about movies when I joined Nadiad for my MCA. But my training began at home at the age I dont remember now. I, however, distinctly remember, Sadhu Aur Shaitaan being played at Maroo Bhai's place. It reminds me I need to send the Kite Runner movie to dad. I just had a talk with him about the book and like me he was mesmerized by the book. I dont know who will help Bhabha watch some good movies in Junagadh. He has always wanted to see The Bicycle Thief. I think about the last scene of the movie... The boy looking at his father and the father trying to look on the road. They both understand, however, say nothing... How can one scene shot decades still remains the best scene till this day.. I get goose bumps.. they are interrupted by the phone. It's ringing. It's the new lad who has joined the team. I stop the bike..

"How are you"
"I am okay... How are you"
"Kuch Nahi Sir... mujhe puchhna tha Am I doing Okay?"
"Haan Haan tum acha kar rahe ho. Try to learn more... I am happy with your progress"

"Okay." ( I sense his relief)
and then he drops the shell.... "Sir... Le loge na Team me?"

I say nothing for a moment.

"Can I call you later... I am currently on my way home"

The question still hangs in there.... with me and the Princess....

I reach Bhosari. The last phase is of 14kms. From Bhosari to the flat. I dont like this part of the journey.... Heavy Traffic, shabbier road and the Heavy Question which is still unanswered !

Stupidly Yours

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:44:00 +0000

So how should one react when faced with an act of utter stupidity... However stupid this thought itself may sound... Its just my struggle to get an answer that has provoked this blog... and to add fuel to it... Somebody did act foolishly today... and I was angry... not by his act... but the way I reacted...

Well this reminds me of a scene from Sharabi when the gorgeous Jaya Prada loses the "Naulakha" and our Bachchan sir tells her it was not that costly at all... naturally lying because one drop of her tear is much more "costlier" than one lac... anyway, the reason for the examples is... what I was taught from the childhood was much similar to this "stupid" scene... Laugh at people (and ofcourse yourself) but not when one actually commits an act of stupidity... Try to sweep it under the carpet and thus not taking away someone's self-respect... I kind of embodied this as it came from my father and never doubted it...

... never until I went to Singapore... one of the most turbulent times in my life... On one hand I was trying to manage my career and on other was desperately trying to hold on to my love life... and struggling at both ends... I do remember for days and days I slept merely for 3-4 hours in order to cling on to both the ships... hard that it was to be... I did forget things... I did act stupidly...

one incident that I can recall of the so-called "stupidity" was when after going to bed at 5:30 am in the morning... was awaken by my roommates at 730 in the morning... could hardly open my eyes... and caring as they were... they asked me if I had my keys of the house... I really didnt know what they were saying and could barely open my eyes... couldnt find my keys... as a nice gesture... I was given their set of keys... Well... when I woke up at around 10 I could not find my keys but luckily had my roommates keys... I locked the door with the other set and went to office... and again struggling in the office till 10 pm I got back to sweet home... sans the keys... and as soon as we reached home... It struck me... what a terrible act... because of my stupidity my roommates were suffering... they were in no way responsible for it... I felt like a hangdog... utter stupidity... I do remember almost running to a taxi and rushing to office... getting the keys and coming back... while my roomies waited at the door... They really looked magnanimous when they pardoned me for my stupidity... I felt happy that the things I was taught in my childhood were not necessarily rubbish....

The day passed but never got forgotten... When in every act of mine I was reminded of my crimes of stupidity by my roomies and ofcourse by other "friends"... I came to know about the reality... Yes I was the stupidest person they had seen... and Yes I had become a benchmark... Yes I was equivalent of Manoj Kumar for Bad films... and I used to cringe inside whenever that was reminded... but my stubbornness of putting a brave face and not explaining them to douse their ego took toll on me...
Stupidity as they say is universal... something inside me kept on telling me to highlight their foolish behavior... but no.. the false virtues that were bred in me always stopped...

so when somebody did act stupidly I just said... its okay... when somebody lost some money in his exit dues at previous company due to his stupidity I used to sympathize with him... when somebody used to visit a whore-house to forget about his love ... I just said take care in future... when somebody forgot the pizza in the microwave for days... I laughingly avoided the discussion.... and yeah... how could I highlight an act of stupid behavior when all the drunkards celebrating the new year did some things which were foolish enough to write a book of anecdotes... point to note here was the foolish acts started before even buying the bloody alcohol... bloody fool its not your girl you are flirting your chances with... I wish I could yell

but well... the lesson was learnt the hard way...I had decided to jump on somebody's act of stupidity... before he does on mine
and today... was the day... past was past... its time for new beginnings... the idiot had to be reminded...

and all I could hear myself utter was.. "Its okay... hota hai"

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mumbai

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:15:00 +0000

Its been a little more than 3 months I have been in Mumbai for the second time in my life

In my first week I saw a dead body being taken out from a canal

Aishwarya-Abhishek, Malaika-Arbaaz still get more coverage here than hundreds of farmers who have committed suicide

I live very near to office and it takes only 20 minutes no matter what time or day it is

Although I have not brought my princess here I do ride a "small" bike here that belongs to my boss

Its not as tough as it used to be 5 years back and one of the major reasons is my locality which I have become quite fond of... Well I live in one of the poorest localities of Mumbai and yes based on that no banks are willing to give me a credit card and still a 1BHK flat here costs 35 lacs...

On weekends, I usually go out of Mumbai and if not, confine myself in my home or sometimes roam around Mulund, Thane and Powai, the three areas which essentially form my Mumbai..

Well... thats my Mumbai... struggle is thy middle name... !!!

Image : Saw this man sleeping with a mysterious smile at Dadar station...

Hundred and One

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 16:39:00 +0000

"Hundred... ... They are exactly hundred.", I thought

Early in the morning... As I make my way thru the jostling crowd, and as hundreds of people try to grab their share of the train one thing that the day starts with is observing people... their little nuances... I think everybody does that with the possible difference of the time... they observe each other... as if they are telling themselves... Yeah This is the world, I am going to be in for the next half an hour of my life... This splendid feeling stays not more than a minute... and then they again go back to their own circle... drawn by themselves with a book, a Portable playstation, or an iPod...

and to think, they are missing the freshness of the early breeze, the rich smell of the trees from the Chinese Gardens and the sounds of those little babies clinging to their mothers makes me feel sorry for their ignorance... I see around me and notice the wires which have formed a mesh around me... two schoolchildren are playing with their portable gaming consoles with the headphones to their ears... an elderly lady is dozing besides me with an ipod stuck firmly to her frock... I see two professionals in the seats opposite to mine... again with the earphones to their laptops... I notice all kinds of gadgets with headphones... and unknowingly start to count the number of people with headphones...

one... two... three... the car is large enough to accommodate two hundred people... and it helps to count people when you are in the middle... fifty... fifty one... fifty two... i have not even reached half the car and still i have got fifty two with that damn thing... how can people get lost in themselves... their world and just ignore what is happening outside... anyway... there are less people in the other half of the car... seventy one... seventy two... and how come this construction worker afford this sleek mobile... and how did he know how to transfer songs.... looks engrossed in the new songs he must have downloaded some days before... ninety one... ninety two... you know they say it affects your hearing power too... shouldn't wear them so often... still nobody seems to be interpreting what I am thinking... , ninety seven, ninety eight...ninety nine .... and Hundred. I reach to the magical figure....

"Tampines....", the speaker above my head barks and the train comes to a halt as I pull off my earphones and put them into my bag to rest...

Waking up at 2:30

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 19:20:00 +0000

So What do yo do when you suddenly wake up at 2:30 am ?

It must be the Chicken Tikka... I shouldnt have had the whole freaking dish...
I get up and wear my sleepers and try my best to suppress the strange hissing sound of my footwear... how I wish my landlord ( who stays with us) had a sound sleep... well... anyways... he wakes up...
I go to Prashant's room... start the laptop... its good to know to type... helps when you are in dark and cant see the keys...

need to work for our film-critic website project... need to work for our short film... havent done a thing yet...
havent written a blog since a long time... have so many things to write... but lemme first work on our film critic website project... Rajeev Masand of late has been pissing in his pants...

this waking up should help... !!!

The man who kept lighting the candles...

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 03:59:00 +0000

... and in this dream... I saw myself near the shore... a seashore may be...

It was a usual dusky evening... the night had not fallen completely.. and I saw a bunch of people, who had been standing on one side of the beach where the water didnt touch them, looking at someone who was in the knee-deep waters... There was some continuous whispering and laughs which drew me there...

There I saw the man... The man who kept lighting the candles... I saw him surrounded by hundreds of those round claypot candles... some of them still burning against the heavy wind just living their last moments before the wind blew them away like it did to others... but he, oblivious of people who were mocking him, kept lighting them... he had one candle in his hands which was somehow still lit... it looked as if he had been doing this since some time as that candle was also losing the wax and reducing to an even smaller size with each passing minute...

What he was doing seemed ridiculous... he lit the candles continuously... the wind came and blew them off... and this continued again and again almost endlessly... it was just a matter of time before his own candle would go off I thought...

I turned away immediately and I saw the people and for an instance was stunned to see most of them to be known faces... I, somehow, didnt feel to be with them and continued my journey towards home... when I reached a distance... I saw that scene from faraway.... It was pitch dark and I could see noone but those deemly lit claypot candles... yeah it was dark... and the only thing which still attracted people towards that place was the light being emitted by those candles... I dont know why it brought a smile on my face but it did, for sure...

and when I found myself on my bed at night I couldnt stop thinking about the expressions which I saw on his face... it showed the misery of people not understanding his plight to keep on lighting them... what I found ironic was that the same light did attract everybody...

Baatein

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 03:17:00 +0000

Haan Baatein To Sabse Hoti Hain...
Par Sab Kahaan Karte Hain Baarish Ki Baatein ...

Aur Un Boondo Ki Jo Patto Pe Theher Si Jaati Hain
Aur Phir Un Patto Ki Hi Hoke Rahe Jaati Hain...

Baato Ki Baatein Bhi Sab Karte Hain...
Par Un Khamoshiyo Ki Baatein Kaun Karta Hain..

Aur Jab... Jab Yeh Baatein Nahi Rehengi...
Tab Un Baato Ki Baatein Kaun Karega...
Aur Phir... Shaayad Yeh Bhi Ik Baat Hi Ban Kar Rahe Jaaye...

Haan Baatein To Sabse Hoti Hain...

of Daal, Chawal and some pappadams !!!

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 11:34:00 +0000

Having had food at almost all the joints in Lau Pa Sat... Me and Badz were finding it suicidal to go there again. The auspicious Diwali day gave us the chance of our life to find a chef in us... the first hurdle was to start the kitchen.... although we had brought with us all the needful utensils and necessary items a week back... but needed a spark to start the burner !!!

After remembering my Guru Santosh (who was like a dummies guide to cooking at Nadiad) I gave the first spark to my stove to make some tea !!! Although I know nothing about cooking but I have always been proud of my skills in making tea.... well.. until this very moment... Badri was kind enough to say the Tea was OKAY.... maaan... it tasted shitttt... and from that moment... me and Badri have been doing all the efforts (and all the permutations and combinations) to make a cup of strong Indian tea but with no luck... whom to blame... There are two culprits which came to our minds (apart from me and Badz)... The Brown Sugar ... and the Cartoned milk....

Anyways, the moment was fruitful enough to start the kitchen... and hence Badri has taken over as the head Chef of the room... We have successfully ( We 100% = Badri 90% + Me 10% ) prepared Daal Chawal and some pappadams... and believe me they do taste nice... much better than any joints at Lau Pa Sat foodcourt....

Yesterday we(read Badri) tried our hands at Khichdi... which also came out nice !!! and like our bosses put it... both of us have a greaat future ahead... !!!

What did you say you wanna eat ??? Malai Kofta and Kashmiri Pulao.... here you go !!!

Finding a house in S'pore... with some help from Shahrukh Kha

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:10:00 +0000

Since the first day in Spore... me and Badz have been trying hard to find a place to stay...
although staying in the guest house for 15 days saves us some money... but me and guru, looking at our highly-constipated tambi partner who is overstaying in the guest house and doesnt even bother to say hi... and the crippled condition of the TV, Fridge, Washing machine and virtually everything there, just didnt want to stay there anymore... and yeah not having pillow in my bed also didnt help...

So, after snooping here n there for an agent... we found Zul... (again the same laugh from both the sides regarding names... ) a malay guy, whose English was the only way to keep is out of our tension and have a smiling face all the time...

The house is in Bishan, a peaceful area and beautiful locality in Spore... The owner is a Malay lady who came with an agent... and immediately we felt that we had an amazing chemistry... ofcourse with opposite reaction... the Landlady and the agent both are crazy about Shahrukh Khan... and as usual, we talked less about the house, the 21" color TV that we desperately wanted and more about Veer Zaara and Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna... She went on praising SRK for Veer Zaara, KANK and what not... and i kept committing my sins by agreeing to her blasphemous views while Badz gasped on me !!!

After signing the intent letters and promises of giving them some good SRK DVDs we finalized a home for two of us... !!!

So ... finally.. we have a house now... !!! Hurraaaay !!!!

The faith

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 06:30:00 +0000

Every time... I hear about the idols start drinking milk...
I, too, rush with a glass full... with all my faith.... !!!
and each time... I find a little boy yearning for milk on my way...
and I return back home empty handed giving him the milk ...!!!

Ramesh Parekh ... and me

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 15:06:00 +0000

It was in 1991 that I recited the first poem. My dad was trying to soak me into the world of poetry. It was by a poet Ramesh Parekh whom I never heard of till that very day... Well, I did recite it.... and recited it pretty well too... but couldnt understand a word of it...

"Gadh Ne Honkaro To Kangray Deshe... Pan Gadh Ma Honkaro Kon Deshe"...(literally : The parapets of the fort will assert .... but who will support from inside the fort ? "

I knew it was something great because Papa was so overwhelmed by it... .. and the following years explained every bit of the greatness in each line of that lovely poem... and more than the poem... the poet, Ramesh Parekh or fondly known as RaPa.

... and then by 1995, I had not only read most of his poems, Ghazals, Haikus.. but also had met him twice. He was one of the most humble human beings. He is/was arguably the best poet in Gujarat... When you attended one of his Mushayra's... You could see the expressions of the other poets. While others were good... they used words really well... RaPa wrote something other-worldly. He recited and other gasped... not wanting to believe what they had just heard. and well... ... He didnt use great words... He just used simple words... but using those simple words... he created a world inside those lines... and I remember.... Every time, I knew the meaning of those specific words... but when it became a line... it was something I never had an idea of.. may be my juvenile mind couldnt digest what was being told... Papa used to explain me them one by one... and he explained me the intricacies of poetry. Everything that was worth telling, or worth writing... had already been told or writtten... Meer, Ghalib and Faiz had written everything... Its not about telling something... Its about how you express it...

... I remember being poetry-aficionado was something abnormal for an adolescent... till I met Tejas.... he read a lot ... and boy.... what we did... we opened 7 accounts in the district library, and what we got as the result was more RaPa books... Books that were lined across the shelves in the library... books that enticed and invited us to steal them... those were RaPa books... and were very difficult to get... anybody who took them kept with himself for a long time... so we committed our first crime together... stealing a RaPa book...

... then came a day when I got a chance to meet him. Dad asked me to collect some books which he had lended to RaPa. I was thrilled at the opportunity.... and at once was on my way... I was somewhat surprised to see his house... It was one of the most humble house in that locality. Although, I was prepared for it, but still you always get a shock when you actually see it. I couldnt help scrolling my eyes thru the house. It was a modest 2 room house with the most basic furniture. In a corner, there were 4 shelves full of books, the only things that exhibited the living of a proud and gutsy poet. He usually wore a Khadi Kurta and always had Pan in his mouth. Thats all what, I think, he needed to create a sea of emotions. I was awestruck by his simplicity and the way he went on to introduce me to his family. I was wondering then, how come a person stay ignorant of the countless awards bestowed upon him and still be so humble.

I know being a poet in India means... this kind of a life. One has to be a wanderer... One has to give up all the hopes of a good life-style and all other mundane things and still going on writing epics about life... but in Gujarat, the situation is worse... The government knows less about literature than Narendra Modi about religious tolerance. The most coveted prize in literature will give you a sum of Rs 5000 that ofcourse, if you are the sole awardee (yes, sometimes, it gets divided among two poets/writers) and nobody has asked for a pie from it... and the tragedy is you can do nothing but to buy his books and feel sorry about the situation.

Two days back, one of my dad's friend and a prominent Gujarati poet, went to buy some poetry collections from the discarded books market. What he found was utterly painful for the fans of RaPa. He found hundreds of books piled up of different Gujarati poets. There was a striking similarity in all those books... the books were signed by the author of the book and were sent to Ramesh Parekh as gifts... and all of them read... "With Love to Ramesh Parekh"... It struck me there... These were the books I saw on the day I visited his home. Dad's friend asked the seller, where did he get the books from. His answer was... "Just got two bags full of these books as trash from one of the houses in Hanuman Madhi"... It was where RaPa lived... and these were the reasons why Rapa lived... being sold at 5Rs per Kg.

Its not even two months since he passed away... and all his cherished possessions were being sold at a meagre amount... may be they occupied a place in the house which could be utilized for keeping a washing machine... may be they had to sell it... may be this is how it should be... I can just guess....

"Nathi Samato Aaj Have To Hu Aa Mara Chh Aksharo Ma"
"Cant live now .... in these six letters of mine"
Ramesh Parekh

Separation Part III - The Call

noreply@blogger.com (Freak's paradise) — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 10:14:00 +0000

... and then...

somebody who has died inside her....

... called somebody who has died in me...

... and then...

we discussed the humid weather... the increasing costs... and tax investments... !!!