By Nico Van Ostrand, Ember Oak Kelley , Mylo Way

Dear beautiful, fabulous gender creative and sexually non-conforming youth and teens–all those who are queer, trans, non-binary, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and a hundred other wonderful self-proclaimed identities,

Our hearts are breaking. This is not the future we wanted or have been fighting for. Yes, queer folks are under attack, so we need to be prepared to fight for ourselves and for each other. Together, we have access to the stories, information, and can build the communities that we need to survive.

Here are some places to start:

First and Foremost, Tend to Your Well-Being

• Take actions that feel good and right to you. Do what you need to survive. In the words of Kate Bornstein: “Do whatever it takes to make your life worth living. Just don’t be mean.”
• If you are contemplating suicide, please reach out to a trusted adult in your life. Call the Trevor Project at 866-488-7386 or go to their online chat or texting system. You are loved. Reach out.
• Limit how many stories of violence and harassment you take in. Antiqueer violence and harassment is designed to terrorize all of us. Take in only what you can, and what you feel you need to know in order to live well and take action.
• Find all the stories of hope you can. Share them! These stories help us feel less alone, less traumatized, and be more ready to take action.
• Engage in spiritual practices that are meaningful to you: light a chalice (here are some words to get you started), make an altar, pray, meditate, sing a hymn, go to church.
• Help your feelings move through your body. Sing, reach out to people you love, play, listen to music (here’s a playlist to get you started), do yoga, dance, run. Go outside and feel Mother Earth holding you up, make art, scream, cry, revisit your favorite stories.
• Create safe places for yourself with people you love and who love you, to process trauma and experience joy. Promise each other you will keep making these safe places.
• Queer UU-adjacent books to ground yourself in:
  • Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families
  • The Black Trans Prayer Book
  • Spilling the Light
  • Breaking and Blessing
  • Unapologetic: A Black, Queer, and Feminist Mandate for Radical Movements
  • Pride: An Inspirational History of the LGBTQ+ Movement
  • The Stonewall Generation: LGBTQ Elders on Sex, Activism, and Aging
  • This Book is Gay

Build a Support Network

• Parent(s) and other family members: If you are out to your parent(s) and/or other family members, talk to them about how you are feeling and what you need from them. Discuss what you might be able to do as a family to be an active part of the resistance against hate.
  • If you are not out to your parent(s), talk with other trusted adults or friends about whether or not this is a safe time to come out to them. If it is not safe, lean on your other supports to make a plan for your safety and survival.
• Friends: Check in with one another. Make and give each other silly little gifts. Hang out. Ask for help. Explore identity together. Do what you already know how to do in order to be a good friend, and do it more.
• Teachers and school counselors who you know are LGBTQ-supportive: Talk to them about your feelings, fears, and needs. Ask them to join GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Education Network), a group that helps teachers get the information they need and support them when the going gets rough.
• Trusted LGBTQ adults: Connect with any LGBTQ adults you know personally. Reach out to public queer and trans adults on social media. If you don’t get a response right away, try again, or try someone else. We are here for you.
• Religious community: Unitarian Universalists recently passed a Business Resolution that officially states that “embracing transgender, nonbinary, intersex and gender diverse people is a fundamental expression of UU religious values”. Search for a list of Unitarian Universalist congregations, many of which have online options.
  • UU ministers care about you. Reach out to talk, find out if their congregation would be a good community for you, or to get connected to community supports. Note that in many states, the rules around mandated reporting are different for ordained clergy/ministers versus non-ordained adults. This applies especially in states where adults are required to report parents who help their children access gender affirming care (or similar). While some clergy and some non-ordained adults will choose to act according to their ethics rather than the law, it is best to know your state’s laws and get explicit confirmation from the adult that they will hold you in confidentiality. Err on the side of caution. Talking about a hypothetical situation or telling a story about “a friend” are reasonable ways to still access help without putting yourself at risk.
• Some National LGBTQ Centers and Organizations
  • PFLAG
  • GLSEN
  • Pink Haven Coalition
  • Lambda
  • ACLU
• Therapist: If you’re not out, make up a reason to ask your parent(s) if you can see a therapist. Try to get one sooner rather than later in case of changes in health care coverage. Use Psychology Today to search for a LGBTQ friendly therapist. Try to call any potential therapist in advance (anonymously, if possible) and ask them if they would maintain confidentiality with respect to your parent(s), and also what their views are on being LGBTQ. Don’t waste time with a therapist who isn’t enthusiastically supportive. If your parent(s) can’t help, you may find a local clinic available for teenagers, a local LGBTQ center may provide counseling, or a supportive school counselor could help you find someone.

Be Prepared for Immediate and Long-Term Changes

Things look foreboding, we understand. We need to be responsive and aware, but we also need to avoid internalizing all of the worry onto ourselves. Planning can help you feel more prepared and give a sense of control in the face of an uncertain future. Stay in the loop, and be ready ahead of time to take action to keep yourself as safe as possible in response to legislative changes.

Here are some resources for staying up to date:

• ACLU LGBTQ Law Tracker
• 2024 Anti-Trans Bill Tracker
• A4TE Trans Legal Survival Guide
• Movement Advancement Project: LGBTQ Equality by State
• Side with Love: Action Center | Facebook
• UUA: Press Room | Facebook | Instagram

Build Community Resistance

Remember that acting in the face of oppression can help you feel strong and purposeful. You are strong. You can have an impact on the world. Not just later, now. You can:

• Be part of and leave a strong network to support queer youth in your school.
• Be public about what your group does so that even if people are too scared to come, they’ll know they’re not alone.
• Get involved with LGBTQ groups resisting, locally and/or online. This work is already in progress, and ready for you to join!
• Keep the adult world, including your support network, in the know about what’s going on so they can take action and better support you.
• Learn from LGBTQ elders and activists who have been doing this work for a long time. They have tips, tricks, and survival strategies you can learn from. You have wisdom and experiences to share with them, too.
• Recognize intersectionality–I can’t be free until you are free. Have each others’ backs and resist oppression in all its forms, wherever you find it.
• Remember that “joining the resistance” often means deepening your support network, showing up when you’re asked to help, trying/failing/learning/laughing. It is not fancy. It is life-giving.

Make a Plan and a Dream for Yourself, Long Term

Most importantly, please survive. Please make the healthiest choices you can to survive.

• Dare to dream of the future you want for yourself. Do this with your support networks, and find ways of being together that brings that dream into being. Small is good, small is all.
• Talk to your support network to plan an exit strategy if needed. College is one exit strategy that often brings you into closer contact with LGBTQ faculty, staff, and students. College is not always an option for financial, age, or academic reasons, and there are other ways to reground yourself in affirming community. Make an exit strategy with the support of others, including trusted adults.
• Move to or push your state to follow the example of states with friendly laws.
• BIPOC LGBTQ youth, this moment is incredibly difficult. Remember that you are supported by your people, your ancestors, and by movements of people who have endured and suffered and have made a way out of no way (YouTube).

Remember That Whatever Happens

Remember that whatever happens, you are made of the same stuff as Audre Lorde. As Alice Walker.

As Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera and all the trans and queer folks who fought back at Stonewall.

As Leslie Feinberg and Kate Bornstein. As Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon and Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas.

As Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman. As Bayard Rustin and Harvey Milk.

And as Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Urvashi Vaid, Keith Boykin, Wanda Sykes, Mary L. Bonauto, and all the other leaders who are fighting right now for us. And you.

When you need strength, read our history. You are made of the same fabulousness.

Adapted and updated by trans members of the Youth and Emerging Adult Ministry Staff team on November 18, 2024, drawing on a post by Evin Carvill-Ziemer, originally posted November 21, 2016.

By Lifespan Faith Engagement

Access to healthcare is a sacred right we care so deeply about as Unitarian Universalists. One of the sacred and life-saving forms of care that is currently under legislative attack is the access to gender-affirming care for our transgender, nonbinary, and intersex youth and adults.

Some of us may have questions or be asked questions by folks in their congregations or lives. This is a resource to offer some more scientifically validated information about this practice of care, universally accepted by legitimate medical associations.

We understand that some of us benefit from summaries and brief snippets, while others thrive in the deep data pools. We have gathered various resources to give you access to information. And, know, we remain available for conversations to help process and understand on a deeper level.

General Information

Transition-related health care for transgender people and youth is supported by every major medical association and leading health authority. Efforts to ban and criminalize this care are not based in medical or scientific expertise, and frequently spread misinformation about what the care is. Included are facts to inform the public and media about the safety and efficacy of this essential health care.

• GLAAD FACT SHEET: Evidence Based Healthcare for Transgender People and Youth

These resources introduce readers to the basics of GAC for TGD youth. It outlines the changes involved in social affirmation, gender-affirming medical care, and gender-affirming surgical care. In addition, it highlights the scientific research that underlies these practices as well as the positive outcomes associated with GAC for TGD youth.

• The Fenway Institute Describes The Science Behind Gender-Affirming Care For Transgender And Gender Diverse Youth

• Gender-Affirming Care for Adolescents:Understanding
  the fundamental components and scientific support for lifesaving gender affirmation (PDF)

Gender-affirming care is a supportive form of healthcare. It consists of an array of services that may include medical, surgical, mental health, and non-medical services for transgender and nonbinary people. In 2022, the Department of Health and Human Services published a fact sheet about gender-affirming care in young people.

• Gender-Affirming Care and Young People (PDF)

In 2022, U.S. Trans Survey (USTS) published a survey of transgender people in the United States with a summary of the gender-affirming care section withhighlights of the importance of gender-affirming care and societal acceptance

• US Trans Survey highlights importance of gender-affirming care and societal acceptance

The Movement Advancement Project tracks the laws affecting transgender healthcare in the United States. As of June 10, 2024, there are 25 states with laws on the books banning or restricting gender-affirming care for youth AND there are already legal challenges in 17 of those states.

• LGBTQ Equality Maps Updates: June 2024

Sawbones is a comedy podcast about medical history, hosted by a physician and her husband that covers some serious topics on occasion. They recorded a 45-minute episode on gender-affirming care for minors.

• Sawbones: Gender-Affirming Care for Minors

Resources for Congregations

• Transforming Hearts Collective offers online training for Unitarian Universalist congregations.

• Our Whole Lives has a series of webinars about transgender youth:

  • Meet Airlie Anderson, Author of “Neither” (YouTube)
    Author/illustrator Airlie Anderson joins Dr. Melanie Davis (UUA) and Rev. Amy Johnson (UCC) for an engaging conversation about her much-lauded pre-K book titled, “Neither.” From the Amazon description: “In this colorful and touching story that celebrates what makes each of us unique, a little creature that’s not quite a bird and not quite a bunny—it’s “neither”—searches for a place to fit in…This story promotes diversity and offers a valuable lesson to the youngest of audiences: it is our differences that unite us.”

  • Trans Action (YouTube). With Dr. Melanie Davis and Rev. Amy Johnson and their guests share a wealth of inspiring programming and resources for trans youth, teens, families, and allies. Guests include Rev. Ashley Horan, UUA Organizing Strategy Director; Rachael Ward, UCC Team Lead and Minister for Gender and Sexuality Justice Ministries; Adrian Ballou, UUA LGBTQIA+ and Gender Justice Program Coordinator; and Rev. Yadi Martínez-Reyna, is bilingual Latinx gender non-binary artist and founder of Color Splash Out, a nonprofit organization dedicated to creating safe and brave spaces for LGBTQ+ Youth and their ally friends. For many links to resources, look for the webinar title “Trans Action”.

  • Addressing Anti-LGBTQ+ Initiatives(YouTube) Dr. Melanie Davis and Amy Johnson welcome Rev. Michael Crumpler, Rev. Evin Walter, Rev. Michael Schuenemeyer, and Rev. Yadi Martinez-Reyna— all of whom are on the front lines in the UU and UCC fight for LGBTQIA+ justice. We discuss where OWL fits into national LGBTQ+ advocacy efforts. Review all of our Taking Flight Webinar.
  • Under Your Wing: OWL (Our Whole Lives) Taking Flight (YouTube), Introducing videos for parents and caregivers of children in grades K-1, including conversations and books about gender identity. Review our complete list of OWL K-1 videos.

Scholarly Resources

Evidence-Based Research Published by Respected Journals

• Rew, L., Young, C.C., Monge, M. and Bogucka, R. (2021), Review: Puberty blockers for transgender and gender diverse youth—a critical review of the literature. Child Adolesc Ment Health, 26: 3-14.

• Sigman, Beck, (2021-2022) Keeping Trans Kids Safe: The Constitutionality of Prohibiting Access to Puberty Blockers Comment 71 American University Law Review Forum 2021-2022

Infographics

• Why Support for Trans Youth Matters

• The Myth of Trans Regrets

• Family Acceptance Project Posters

In this charge to the gathered congregation of the UUA’s General Assembly 2023, Shannon Harper—the Co-Director of Lifespan Faith Engagement—calls on us to re-examine our narratives about and engagement with young people. 

The Young Adults Are Here

Congratulations to this year’s bridgers!

I’m just curious. Out there, how many of you, no matter how old you are now, considered yourself a UU when you were this age, roughly 18? Make yourself known.

I ask this question because there is a pervasive narrative out there that Unitarian Universalism is losing young people. They are bridging and then making decisions about their life and how they will spend their time that do not include going to church on Sunday morning or attending committee meetings at the end of a busy day. That narrative, is not wrong. I’m sure every person who made themselves known can count off the friends who are no longer with us, some of them having left in heartbreak. Some of them feeling like they had no other choice. But most just drifted away.

You know what that narrative reminds me of? It reminds me of another prevalent narrative I still hear. “We are a predominantly white denomination.” That narrative is also true. And yet that is not all we are. It’s not all we aspire to be. If we are still becoming then we can wrestle with that narrative while also acknowledging and lifting up every member of the global majority who has ever found a home in Unitarian Universalism and every contribution we’ve made.

Friends. The stories we tell ourselves ABOUT ourselves matter. They tell us what we’re focused on, what we are working to make into reality.

And it is also both true that our young people are leaving and I believe they would really like a reason to stay. In your mourning the loss of those you do not see — and yes! That is a tragedy worth mourning! But in that mourning, do not erase those who are still here. And when I say “here” of course I’m not just talking about General Assembly, the most expensive, time consuming, privileged way we can engage with our faith. Let me tell you, the young adults who are HERE, right now in this assembly hall, are DEDICATED. But I’m also talking about young adults who are attending your Sunday services, maybe only once a month because that’s all they can get off from work. Or the young adult who is volunteering in RE because it’s where they feel most comfortable. I’m talking about the young adults who organize, who volunteer, who start campus ministry programs, and LGBTQIA+ support groups, who gather with other BIPoC YAs, join multi-generational trans and non-binary communities or join young child parent play groups. WE SEE YOU. Out here doing the best you can to stay connected.

But if we are going to be a faith that lives into our covenant with young people we can’t JUST acknowledge them, we must LISTEN as well. I’ll tell you a secret. One I learned from my own young adult children. There’s nothing a raised UU young adult dislikes more than being discounted or considered “new” to our faith. They KNOW things. And while us older folks are wringing our hands about “how we’re going to retain younger membership in our congregations and what’s going to become of UUism if we all die out,” our young people are full of wisdom, waiting for someone to recognize them as the experts they are. The experts we need on engaging young people.

Now this is not a charge to go grab the first YA you find and bombard them with questions about how to get more young people to come to church or to stay in church. First of all that’s just rude. But also, that’s not the right question. It’s not even the right goal. We need to be meeting young people where they are and when we welcome them in, it needs to be ALL of them, their whole selves. It means they may not fit into neat membership boxes, and that’s okay!

If you pay attention you’ll notice there are young UUs telling you about the world they want to live in, the way they believe Unitarian Universalists could, and should, live our values out loud. Do not discount them, engage them.

So here is my charge to you: Build genuine relationships, listen to their prophetic voices, if what they are saying makes you uncomfortable, don’t turn away. Examine that, be curious about it. Unitarian Universalism has formed these young people, now allow them to reflect back to you what they have learned. Allow yourself and our faith to be changed by this reflection. This is how a religion stays relevant. This is how we faithfully become.

Ok actually 26 favorites.

The Young UU Project meets on the third Monday of every month for fun and creating crowdsourced things for youth ministry. If you’re a high school aged UU and want to join visit uua.org/yuup. If you’re an adult and are interested in learning more about supporting the network email youth@uua.org.

List of Favorite Check in Questions

Rose (something going well) Bud (something to look forward to) Thorn (something difficult right now)

What’s your favorite recipe / food?

Show and tell

• Pull something random from your pocket or bag and tell a story about why it’s in there

• bring something from or about an ancestor and describe it

• share an item that is spiritual to you for a collective altar

What is your favorite road trip or airplane food?

• NOTE: not everyone has been on a road trip or airplane.

• Best to use if the group goes on a trip together.

What’s your favorite thing about where you’re from?

How would you describe your favorite meal?

What’s your favorite animal (real or mythical)?

What makes you happy / brings you joy?

What is your favorite UU Song?

How long have you been part of the UU community?

Which would be more difficult for you to go a week without?

• Pick fun or serious either / or options to choose between.

• NOTE: Take into consideration that many people go without important things or basic needs being met for extended periods of time.

• Don’t use this question if it will be activating or triggering for participants.

What’s your most comfortable communication style?

• Great question to ask when a group is forming
• Examples: oral, American Sign Language, written, symbols, AAC (augmentative and alternate communication) device, etc?

Are you more of an Introvert or Extravert?

If you could eat your way out of one food what would it be and why?

What music do you listen to you?

What are your hobbies?

What do you like to do in your free time?

How old are you?

• ALTERNATIVE: for multigenerational groups you can ask “What generation do you belong to and do you identify with that?”

• NOTE: For youth who are older or younger than their grade or life stage would suggest this question can feel exposing. Know your group before you use this question.

What’s your favorite seed on an everything bagel?

• ALTERNATIVES: what’s your favorite seasoning or what’s your favorite tiny food?

What do you wish others knew about you?

• This question can get deep! Use this question if you have pastoral follow-up care in place and know the group can be supportive of each other.

If you had to live inside a TV show, which would it be?

What type of fruit are you today?

If your mood were a type of weather what would it be?

What do you like to spend your time learning about?

What’s your favorite scent?

What real or mythical creature would you get as a pet & how would you convince your caregivers/roommates to keep it?

Thank You

to the YUUP members who contributed to this resource!

• Stephen Wylie-Sears
• Kerri Bell-Delgado
• Alexander Trexler
• Kanen Craig
• Oscar Dingus
• Sarah Lammert (support adult)
• Amara Hemphill
• Calle Dearmore
• Emmie Spiller
• Liv Dalby
• Carina Cook
• Matt Dalby

In this charge to the gathered congregation of the UUA’s General Assembly 2021, Anna Bethea—the Director of Lifespan Faith Engagement—calls on the faith to support and hold these young people as they bridge from youthhood to young adulthood. Watch or read their words below!

Bridging Asks A Question

The moment of bridging is a question posed to our whole community. Bridging asks the question: As our young people show up in our communities in new ways, how will we show up for them? Will we change alongside them, as they roll on?

To us, the General Assembly, the congregation of congregations, I charge us to extend a network of hospitality and welcome to Bridging Youth, whether they are staying put or going forth into a new community. Practices of hospitality mean asking the question, “What do you need?” and offering the responsiveness and openness that comes from really listening—that type of listening that communicates, “We are and will be changed by you.”

And it means offering practical care to and for young adults: rides to worship services and actions and home from jail, meals and fellowship, checking in regularly, sending along care packages.

Your youth and young adult staff in the Office of Lifespan Faith Engagement is here to partner with you in this hospitality and support for youth and young adults. Get connected.

In that spirit, I charge us to recognize and engage with the unique and crucial faith formation phase that is the beginning of young adulthood. Now is a time when Unitarian Universalist young people are encountering and wrestling with an often harsh and dehumanizing world. Young people need the ministries and theologies of Unitarian Universalism in conversation with their experiences, the clarity of our liberatory values, and the solace of faith community to hold us in this growth.

I charge us to take seriously the leadership and brilliance of young people themselves within our communities. When we say, “you are the present of our faith,” that means co-creating decision-making tables that take their voices seriously. That means valuing their labors of leadership. That means nurturing and offering sustenance to them, so that they may abide in their faith for the long-term.

I charge us then to remember our history and to put our resources where our commitments are. I charge us to invest in and support young adult ministries within our congregations, at local campuses, within your clusters, and across our regions and continent. We see the good work of Unitarian Universalist young people rebuilding and rejuvenating their movement for themselves in community. We ask that our broader Unitarian Universalist community support the good work of young adult ministries like the Young Unitarian Universalists Project and the Young Adult Revival Network. We ask that we break the cycle of disinvestment in ministries to young people.

The moment of bridging poses a question, and it will keep posing this question year after year. Commit and recommit and repair and grow. This is our work. This is our charge. If you, the gathered congregation of General Assembly, will commit to this charge, speak aloud at home and write in the chat an “Amen,” an “I will”, a “Blessed be,” or whatever affirmation sings from your heart.

Amen, ashé and blessed be.

In this subsection of the Blue Boat Blog, you’ll find resources and information for Bridging Youth (those transitioning from Youthhood to Young Adulthood) and Emerging Adults (a term for a subset of Young Adulthood typically in the ages of 18–24 years old).

Why “Emerging Adults”?

In our lifespan approach to faith formation, we recognize that different stages of our lives bring unique circumstances, community contexts, and spiritual needs. In an effort to address the specific needs of Unitarian Universalists (UUs) after their high school years, the UUA has been devoting resources, staff time, and programming that speak directly to the experience of emerging adults. And it’s all still emerging!

While the focus on this age range is new, the UUA still thinks of Young Adulthood (18–35 years old) as a larger, important stage of faith development, inclusive of emerging adults. So programs like Young Adults at General Assembly and the Grounded and Resilient Organizers Workshop are available for the whole age range.

In psychological research, much ink has been spilled on the needs and experiences of “emerging adults.” And that research oftentimes centered only one set of experiences about the age of 18–24 years old, from those who were college-going, wealthy, white/European descent, and oftentimes, male. We, here in Unitarian Universalism, live into our Principles, and recognize that emerging adults are many things—they are staying put in their congregation, or they are venturing to a new community; they are starting a job, they are joining the military, or they are continuing their education; they are new parents, or they are not.

From the perspective of the Office of Lifespan Faith Engagement, some of the “Big Questions” that seem to emerge for emerging adults are:

1. How do we live our UU values in an often dehumanizing world?
2. How do we deepen community connections amongst many life transitions?
3. How does our community of young people keep covenant together?
4. What’s at the center of our faith, and how can we make it truly liberatory?

This post is part of a series of report-outs from the 2021 Youth Ministry Visioning Week. You can read an overview of the week and a summary of day 1: Articulating the Mandate for Youth Ministry Across our Denomination in Stevie Carmody’s article on Day 1: What Calls us On. Then review Anna Bethea’s post on Reckoning With the Past (Day 2) and Jennica Davis-Hockett’s article Youth Ministry Ecosystem (Day 3). 

Care and Safety in Youth Ministry

Recently the Lifespan Faith Engagement office of the UUA embarked on a journey to collaborate with congregational life staff, UUA leadership, youth, and other religious professionals to engage in conversations about potential futures of youth ministry and programs in our Association.

The theme for Day 4 was care and safety. There were a lot of ideas in the various rooms across three sessions, so this is more of a report out, rather than an editorial by one voice who was in the room.

One of the first questions we asked our staff and leadership to answer was “What are the resources necessary to successfully implement youth safety?”

Lifespan Faith Engagement and Congregational Life staff were present in the first session of the day, and you can see their responses to the prompt in the sticky notes. During the afternoon session with UUA leadership, they were given the opportunity to leave stars on the notes they wanted to uplift.

The second prompt used for both staff and admin leads was “What are the benchmarks/measures of good youth safety?” Below you will find a jamboard with the same pattern of notes then starred by UUA leadership.

During the afternoon leadership session, someone asked if we were trying to identify benchmarks for the work we each do individually, youth safety at the UUA, or youth safety in congregations and other spaces UU youth gather? We answered “yes!” There was also a question of if these benchmarks are reachable. Only time will tell, but these are items we can take notice of to track where we are with youth safety. They also tied into our last jamboard topic of the sessions, “What practices and systems bring us closer to reaching these benchmarks?” Jamboard with responses below.

Some lingering questions we all may consider and would love to hear your feedback on:

We’ve named resources we need, what resources are available to you now? How can you leverage these resources to hold care and safety as a community standard? Who do we need to loop in on youth safety for it to be held? What are helpful resources, benchmarks, and practices that we did not touch on?

This post is part of a series of report-outs from the 2021 Youth Ministry Visioning Week. You can read an overview of the week and a summary of day 1: Articulating the Mandate for Youth Ministry Across our Denomination in Stevie Carmody’s article on Day 1: What Calls us On. Then review Anna Bethea’s post on Reckoning With the Past (Day 2).

UU Youth Ministry Ecosystem

As part of the Lifespan Faith Engagement’s Youth Ministry Visioning Week, youth ministry program staff, UUA leadership and youth and young adults engaged in conversations around current and potential UUA youth ministry programs and support.

During programming day Day 3), youth ministry program staff generated a massive yet not totally comprehensive list of all the youth ministry programs and supports UUA staff provides. It became clear that we need to offer better ways for young people and families to access and navigate this abundance. We played around with the metaphor of an ecosystem to describe the variety of youth ministry offerings and sat with the knowledge that in a thriving ecosystem everything must be interconnected, symbiotic and emergent.

We know that some youth currently have a lot more access to UUA offerings than others because of geography or finances. We know UUA leadership needs to invest in resourcing congregations for vital youth ministry that centers our young people who are Black, indigenous and people of color, our queer and trans and our disabled youth. Working in partnership with congregations and UU related/adjacent organizations is paramount to ensuring that every youth has access to the life affirming community and spiritual development that we dream about.

I can sum up what we explored on day 3: Programs and Supports for Youth in one sentence:

The UUA’s designated youth ministry employees must focus on

• Accessibility
• Communication
• Covenant restoration
• Resourcing congregations and
• Trauma informed approaches

So that youth have access to

• Discernment
• Meaning making
• Replenishment and rejuvenation
• Resilience building
• Embodied practices
• Social justice actions
• Theological exploration
• Spiritual guidance/direction
• Preparation for life’s transitions
• Healing
• Agency
• Influence
• Grounding
• Accountable, trusted mentors
• Belonging
• Peer support
• Confirmation of their own truth/lived experience
• Connecting to our past, and
• Processing change

Through

• Toolkits
• Community
• Intergenerational storytelling
• Participating in decision making
• Information
• Conflict transformation
• A disability justice framework
• Financial support
• Treating youth as the whole, complex people that they are, and
• Disrupting patterns that induce trauma.

Ok that’s a really long sentence. You could make a truthful statement from just about any combination above:

• UUA’s designated youth ministry employees must focus oncovenant restorationso that youth have access tohealingthroughcommunity.
• UUA’s designated youth ministry employees must focus onaccessibilityso that youth have access toreplenishment and rejuvenationthroughfinancial support.
• UUA’s designated youth ministry employees must focus oncommunicationso that youth have access toagency and influencethroughparticipating in decision making.

In the comments share the combinations that inspire you.

As we turned to theme of Safety and Care we carried these truths with us. You can access Alex Sherwood’s blog post on Care and Safety

This post is part of a series of report-outs from the 2021 Youth Ministry Visioning Week. For an overview of the week and report out on day one, you can review Stevie Carmody’s article on Day 1: What Calls Us On: The Mandate for the Week

Reckoning with Our Past

We need a fuller picture. We need context to understand where we are now and what we hope to be in the future. We need validation of a path forward. Healing and repair work take time to do well…

I carry and have heard others express these kinds of thoughts when talking about reckoning with the past of UU youth ministry — mostly from a national perspective. (If you’re not familiar with the story of how national UU youth ministry has undergone changes over the last 20+ years, you could begin with this 2009 UU World article: Reports Outline New Model of UU Youth Ministry then peruse the Related Resources and Archives at the bottom of the page. There are many lessons to be learned from our past.)

And when I served in a local UU congregation, I often felt and still hear many people express thoughts like…

It’s beyond time. We know what hasn’t worked. We need support now — in the present — to make youth ministry the best it can be, in our congregations and communities.

These truths and perspectives are inherently in tension as we Unitarian Universalists try to fully metabolize the truths of the past and continue putting energy toward providing inclusive, meaningful youth ministry at the same time. For disabled youth, Black and Indigenous youth and youth of color, trans and queer youth… it’s even more crucial for your experiences to be known, validated, and to nurture safer spaces where your full selves can continue to thrive.

In the space around this tension, there’s a shared truth that we’re all craving the relationships and tools to generously support and trust each other into the future.

Something I’ve learned about collective trauma is that it continues to show up, again and again in our bodies and our systems. It’s transmitted culturally as we process through our own pain, observe how the people closest to us are impacted, and attempt to make amends for inherited reactions and harms. It carries even more weight or intensity when it intersects with our identities and the effects of marginalization.

As the UUA embarked on the youth ministry visioning week, we engaged youth, young adults, program staff, and UUA administration and leadership. We heard stories of harm — past and present, what’s needed for repair, and hope for what accountable care could look like in the future. This list we generated of “must haves” for our collective reckoning process encapsulates a lot of the values we hold.

Must haves for reckoning:

• Choosing to engage and tread the path many times (let’s keep telling the story!).
• Building power for the youth and young adult movements; holding the institution accountable. Resourcing youth and young adults as they claim their own history.
• An anti-oppressive lens; larger patterns of harm for people with marginalized identities is centered in the work we do.
• Should involve more lay people; it can’t only be the stewards of the association to youth; generational.
• Spaciousness; time is an element of healing
• Theological grounding; deeper why
• Nuanced approach; youth communities are not all in the same relationship to the UUA, actual youth community and resources, trauma, stories, etc
• People with authority in the system to bear witness to the reckoning process
• Accountability matrix, historically and moving forward
• Documented/noted that this happened — what we’re going to say is likely similar to 2009 but the process by which we got there is different
• Developing of trust between the institution and the people who are speaking up for youth
• Many entry points, must be accessible
• Outside facilitators
• Be cautious of: reactivity
• Must not have: punitive solutions

It’s timely that we’re examining our past again, as we start to process the effects of the global pandemic — another collective trauma. Just as we’ve gained muscle memory on how we have to care for each other differently in community now, I’m hopeful we can articulate and manifest what we want to bake into the healing process around youth ministry. May we be wise in choosing the medicines and practices we know will assist long term thriving.

As we turned to themes of Programs and Care for the rest of the week, we carried these “must haves” in our hearts. You can access other blog posts about the week:

• Day 3 – Programs and Support for Youth
• Day 4 – Care and Safety

This post is part of a series of report-outs from the 2021 Youth Ministry Visioning Week.

The Mandate for the Week

Back in early March, folks who work for the Unitarian Universalist Association in youth ministry (and all their bosses in the national office and the regional offices) cleared their schedules for a weeklong workshop… the Youth Ministry Visioning Week! Invited into this process by the inimitable Rev. Sara Green, Youth and Young Adults Programs Manager at the UUA, we received this charge:

“It is time, now, to be bold and prophetic in the ways a Unitarian Universalist youth movement is imperative to this spiritual moment of imagination, justice-making and faithful living. This proposal [for the workshop] seeks to create a container wherein we can collect the brilliance of our constituents and craft a structure for programs and collaborations in our Association.”

Each day had a separate theme:

• Day 1: The theological and ethical mandate for youth ministry
• Day 2: Reckoning with the past of youth ministry and the UUA
• Day 3: Programs and support for youth
• Day 4: Care and safety for youth
• Day 5: Logistical structures that support the vision!

And each day had a similar format, with different circles of conversations happening throughout the day: the youth ministry staff met together in the mornings, the bosses gathered together with some youth ministry staff in the afternoons, and the youth ministry staff shared out the day’s work and invited input from youth, young adults, and/or religious educators each evening.

In this way, the structure of the days fed into our dual aspirations in Rev. Sara’s charge: more collaboration and coordination across the UUA staff, and more input and accountability between the UUA and young people.

But we also live in a paradox, perhaps summarized in this “Vent Diagram” pictured here (see more about the Vent Diagram project at this URL). The UUA has to take ownership and responsibility for a vision, and also the vision must authentically come from and reflect the needs and aspirations of Unitarian Universalist youth. We navigated the both/and of these truths throughout the week—listening, remembering, grounding, and articulating.

Questioning the “Hero’s Journey”

As we sought metaphors, stories, and grounding values for a guiding theological and ethical mandate for youth ministry, we also encountered stories that were no longer serving us. On Monday of the Youth Ministry Visioning Week, we asked leadership to imagine stories that represented our approach to youth ministry. Some of the stories we told followed the arc of a hero’s journey: the protagonist venturing out into the unknown, facing formative challenges, and returning home changed.

Why was our imagined version of youth faith formation about leaving and going forth? What about staying put and being nurtured in growth? Is Unitarian Universalism a thing to be discovered “out there” and beyond our walls? Or is it a thing that can be formed and developed within our communities? Asking these questions put us in touch with a deeper truth: we are calling for more support for youth. More support in developing their identity amidst our value for justice. More support in the bonds of community on a congregational level. More support in developing the authentic leadership that comes from youth empowerment that is fostered and championed.

As we turned to themes of History, Care, and Programs throughout the rest of the week, we carried this aspiration of abundance with us. You can access other blog posts about the week:

• Day 2 – Reckoning with the Past
• Day 3 – Programs and Support for Youth
• Day 4 – Care and Safety