Blueditty's Horoscopes and Astrology

Stop U.S. Censorship isn't astrological, and I'm not worried about it but still....

2012-01-18T00:55:00.000-08:00

Stop it right now, you bad stupid corporate hogs!!

I'm on a short holiday, but your horoscopes will be back.

Your Horoscope and what the hell is wrong with that Jupiter guy anyway?

2011-12-10T02:22:00.001-08:00

Happy lunar eclipse day.

As I mentioned in the last post, eclipses don't seem to have any immediately noticeable impacts on our lives. They're more likely to bring subtle, long term changes, (and that all depends on your personal chart anyway) but there are more important things going on in the skies right now that could use our attention.

Jupiter has been traveling around Taurus for the last six months and he's been backing up and going forward and lingering around the doorway all that time. He'll be in Taurus for the next six months as well, but now he's ready to make a straight line all the way through it without all the hemming and hawing and the effects should be more noticeable. I've said it before...Jupiter is really a sneaky bastard disguised as a beneficent fellow. This is the guy that makes things larger than they need to be. He rules expansion and over-expansion along with exaggeration, so if you're wondering why your ass is a few sizes larger than you'd like it to be, or why your credit card bill is scary, this is the guy to blame.

Based primarily on your ascendant, (if you don't know your ascendant the tag at the top of the page "What's My Rising Sign?" will tell you) secondarily on your sun sign, the following list is where the affects of Jupiter should be apparent:

ARIES:

Money may come to you more easily in the next 6 months, but chances are it will leave just as easily. Any thing you get by luck and circumstance won't help you think in terms of fearfully squirreling it away for later, which is the crappy part of lucky money. Being more miserly than you want to be now would be a good compensation, even if you do find that hidden diamond mine.

TAURUS:

You're the one Jupiter will be trying extra hard to fatten up. And you're very likely not to give a shit, because you'll be thinking that anything that goes pear shaped in the next 6 months will be all too easy to fix later. It isn't all about body weight either. Try not to brush off any of the things that are important as being easy to fix later, because chances are, they won't be.

GEMINI:

If there are any changes you've wanted to make in your self and your outlook towards life this is a great time to do it. Meditation is very helpful and dreams can be beneficial, or even prophetic. Shyness and reserve is natural with this transit because you're more interested in hidden things, your own secrets and other people's secrets, so privacy may be more important to you. Don't miss out on chances and opportunities because of that.

CANCER:

You can safely ask for favours from people right now and just about anyone will be happy to do just about anything for you. Yeah, that isn't really a great idea because when Jupiter leaves this area, all those people will come looking for payback. Efforts put into secondary jobs and sources of secondary income should have some pay off, but the better that is, the more careful you should be about counting on it for the long term.

LEO:

Oh you really need to take advantage of this time! Authority figures think you're wonderful, and any publicity you get can really work in your favour. If you're looking for a job or want to move up in the one you have...tell people..tell everyone. If you can arrange to drop off resumes instead of via computer, do it. Get your schmooze on! If you have anything at all that can benefit from publicity, tell people about it. The down side of this transit is feeling like you don't need to do anything because things are just kind of OK.

VIRGO:

Good time to plan travel, bad time to tell your boss to stuff it because the company won't let you take the holiday time you want. Good time to increase your knowledge and any broad based learning, bad time to run around lecturing people and talking to them like they're idiots. (even if they are) Legal matters are good if you attend to the details. Bad if you obsess on the details. Keep your perspective about details.

LIBRA:

It's possible that the people around you will seem to be doing better financially than they were before. Credit will probably be easier to get than actual money and I don't need to tell you how Jupiter can suck you in to that one. Sex within partnerships should be good, and free of issues. If you like to sleep around, partners are more available and I shouldn't have to tell you the down side of that. You don't want everything they may offer.

SCORPIO:

You know when you meet someone new and and you like them because they're someone new and interesting and you don't see their faults and how crappy you feel when you find out that they really aren't all that and you were wrong about them? Don't do that. Don't do that with old friends either. Rose coloured glasses on a Scorpio? Yep. Also, don't take your established relationships or your contribution to those relationships for granted and you should be fine.

SAGITTARIUS:

This is good for your health, but only if you do something specifically for your health, and do something realistic. This is a good time to work with health professionals and correct anything that needs correcting. Work should be easier but if you want a change, now is the time to actively look for that. Exercise habits are easier to adopt...again, if they're realistic.

CAPRICORN:

Look for things to be more fun in general and less stressful. Competition should have an air of lightness about it that isn't always there. Overestimating your chances of winning at the blackjack table or anything depending on luck is the downside. If you're trying to get pregnant this is a good time to boink your brains out. Yes I know, there's never a bad time for that, but fertility is statistically increased during this transit.

AQUARIUS:

Want to move? I'm not surprised. This is when Aquarians feel like home should be a large and perfect place and if it isn't there can be some pointless disappointment about that. It can't be house mate problems because right now you have the ability to get along with Genghis Khan as a roommate if you need to and you can smooth out any past, lingering bullshit if there is any. If you are actively looking for new accommodation don't go overboard on the size and costs.

PISCES:
Good things are writing and speaking during this transit. There should be a natural flow. Bad side is the "holy shit, did I really say that?" That's when you've let the flow get too natural. Getting along with siblings and in laws should be easier, and they're inclined to overlook that time you threw them out of your house during a snow storm. Transportation issues can be smoothed out if you're realistic. Buying a new car is good, bad if it requires more gas than any thing else you've ever owned. Underestimating transportation times is something you'll want to be careful about for the next six months.

Horoscope for November 5th to 9th. Not really but I found a Kids clip for you.

2011-12-04T21:21:00.001-08:00

I got nothing.

Oh wait... there's a Lunar Eclipse on Saturday.

"So? How does that affect me?" you ask.

It probably doesn't, but then again it might.

If you aren't too sure what a lunar eclipse is we can go to Wiki and get them to explain it:

"As seen by an observer on Earth on the imaginary celestial sphere, the Moon crosses the ecliptic every orbit at positions called nodes twice every month. When the full moon occurs in the same position at the node, a lunar eclipse can occur. These two nodes allow two to five eclipses per year, parted by approximately six months. (Note: Not drawn to scale. The Sun is much larger and farther away than the Moon.)"

Blah, blah, blah...I like the part where it says "not drawn to scale". I imagine bizarre skits from old Kids in the Hall shows or something.

The Ham of Truth

It's a full moon.

OK, it's a bit more than a full moon. It's part of a cycle involving the point where the moon intersects the plane of the ecliptic (that's the node). The ecliptic is the path the Earth takes as it circles around the Sun blah blah.... The point is, it isn't a huge crisis even if it hits on specific trigger points of your personal chart. What it does seem to do is urge some of us to blow shit out of proportion... People who are just learning astrology tend to freak out at eclipses and other celestial phenomena that don't cause terrible catastrophes or signify impending doom. So if you're surfing around google and find the astrology sites that are shaking shrunken heads at the gods and warning you of meteor strikes, divorce and the return of dinosaurs, ignore it. Just don't lose your shit over something of no consequence and you'll be fine.

Horoscope for November 3rd and 4th and what happens when Mohandas moves in to your blog

2011-12-03T02:20:00.001-08:00

Mohandas Gandhi had a lot to say, and it isn't surprising that a lot of what he had to say would apply to particular horoscopes at particular times. He said kind of horoscopish things. It takes a lot of quotation culling to find the ones that fit, but fit they do.

ARIES:

A principle is the expression of perfection, and as imperfect beings like us cannot practice perfection, we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practice.

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TAURUS:

Nearly everything you do is of no importance, but it is important that you do it.

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GEMINI:

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory.

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CANCER:

Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.

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LEO:

A man is but the product of his thoughts and what he thinks, he becomes.

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VIRGO:

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.

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LIBRA:

All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For then it is all give and no take.

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SCORPIO:

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problem.

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SAGITTARIUS:

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

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CAPRICORN:

Each one has to find his peace from within. And for peace to be real it must be unaffected by outside circumstances.

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AQUARIUS:

Culture of the mind must be subservient to the heart.

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PISCES:

Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal of plain living and high thinking the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants. Man's happiness really lies in contentment.

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Horoscope for two days December 1st and 2nd...Seriously?? December already??

2011-12-01T01:48:00.001-08:00

ARIES:

Sensitivity, intuition.

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TAURUS:

Idealism, expectations.

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GEMINI:

Practicality, certainty.

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CANCER:

Insight, curiosity.

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LEO:

Obligations, compassion.

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VIRGO:

Opposites, assistance.

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LIBRA:

Objectives, boundaries.

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SCORPIO:

Sentiment, honesty.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Origins, escapism.

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CAPRICORN:

Inference, connections.

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AQUARIUS:

Receptive, indulgent.

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PISCES:

Ability, decision.

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Horoscope For Today and Tomorrow November 29th and 30th

2011-11-28T14:10:00.001-08:00

Tuesday and Wednesday the planets don't make any big changes and today's horoscope is leaking into tomorrow. I'm not a hundred percent sure what the horoscope gods get up to up there, but apparently moving the planets around to better positions (for me anyway) isn't their priority..... lazy bastards.

ARIES:

Routine isn't going to be appreciated today or tomorrow. The pitfall of course is that most of us do have to tend to routine and that vague yearning for a splash of excitement is what drives the subtle causing shit for no particular reason sidetrack. You can if you want, or you can find something constructively different to add to to your repertoire.

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TAURUS:

Differences between people won't be of much use to you today. It's all about recognizing the similarities in any shared goals, or finding goals you can share. Step out of your hiding spot and make a scene. Presentations of yourself, your ideas, and your projects should go over well.

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GEMINI:

It doesn't always happen that people understand what the hell you're talking about. That's because sometimes the horoscope gods lead you to more expansive ways of thinking, and they don't always put you in the company of people who also are thinking in more expansive ways than usual. Speak slowly, and clearly and use your words and you should be fine. Or better yet, focus that brain power on your own stuff.

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CANCER:

Logic and reason are wonderful things and they come in handy sometimes, like when you need to think up a workable alibi, or find your way home in the morning. The horoscope gods are nudging you to rely on senses outside of reason and logic today and tomorrow...I dunno, maybe you're getting a new remote for your electronics and don't have a 5 year old around to program it.

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LEO:

The horoscope gods are telling me that if you have to answer to anyone today or tomorrow, or account for yourself or your whereabouts, you'll be inclined to work up some resentments about that. The flip side is you'd be happy if other people would account for themselves to you. Oh well, it doesn't have to be fair or make sense to anyone but you.

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VIRGO:

Look for new ways to get the same old, same old done. Oh yeah, and if you can partner up with someone to get stuff done, even better.... and another oh yeah...relax.

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LIBRA:

Today and tomorrow are prime days for feeling that creative inclination. New forms based on traditional structure might pique your interest more than usual. You're looking for a pleasant diversion and if you have kids, sports, games or romance around you that's where you'll want to be.

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SCORPIO:

The horoscope gods are tempting you to covet interesting, odd and sightly weird things. They're also tempting you to surprise people by saying interesting, weird and unexpected things. That's because today and tomorrow you're liable to exaggerate any restless feelings that come your way. Patience.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Ideas are free for Sagittarius today and tomorrow, and they should be plentiful. Write them down somewhere for f's sake... some of them are keepers.

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CAPRICORN:

You may have come here wanting to hear that you should brace yourself for immense riches, well hardy har!! That isn't Capricorn's forte. Yours is generally the steadily getting better and better as you get older way. Yea, that whole young and rich thing is overrated if you aren't young and rich. Investing in your own future is probably on your mind today and tomorrow, and even small investments of time or money made now pay off. The horoscope gods are telling you that this is a good time to be financially self centred, and self interested.

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AQUARIUS:

If you need or want support for something, now is a great time to get it. Things should be kind of Zen these two days and if you go for the harmony you'll be all good. Not that you aren't perfect and all that right now, but making resolutions and decisions now is favoured by the horoscope gods.... they'll get to it later when they're not being lazy bastards.

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PISCES:

Your emotions, other people's feelings and who feels the most secure or has the biggest lack of security is probably an issue. It may just be that you don't particularly want to deal with other people's crap right now because you're pretty sure you have enough of your own. Do something for someone anyway and it'll go miles towards making you feel more connected to the universe.

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Horoscope for Monday November 28th, 2011

2011-11-27T22:01:00.001-08:00

ARIES:

Authority figures need just a bit of sucking up to today. People who think they're authority figures but aren't need ignoring today.

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TAURUS:

Indulge your curiosity & let your imagination wander around the universe, you're susceptible to changing your mind about things... not to worry, you can always change it back.

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GEMINI:

You can indulge your brain's little side trips into morbid places and dark corners as long as you know it's a short trip and consider it an exploratory journey.

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CANCER:

It may seem like people are moody today, but that's only because the people you interact with are moody today. Oddly enough the horoscope gods are saying it's only a one day thing. You believe them if you want.

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LEO:

If you're looking for that extra spark of energy and having trouble locating it, it's because the horoscope gods have hidden it. They do that now and then because they're assholes. Extra patience for yourself and other people will make up for it.

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VIRGO:

Studying Egyptian hieroglyphics may not sound like a wild and crazy time to other people but if sorting, categorizing and labeling is a wild and crazy time for you then find something to sort, categorize and label... but maybe you shouldn't expect others to have the same appreciation for that as you do.

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LIBRA:

If you have any Virgo friends invite them over. You're going to feel out of sorts if everything in your home isn't sorted, categorized and labeled, and I doubt you're going to want to do any of that yourself, because you're a Libra and chances are you're kind of lazy. Avoidance techniques that would work very well would be anything historical...shows, books etc.

SCORPIO:

If you want to intimidate people with icy silence this is a good day to do that. Or, you could lighten up and cast a devastating smile or a lascivious look at someone and get a different response. It's all about the subtleties in your communication today.

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SAGITTARIUS:

To be cheap, or not to be cheap, that is the question. And the answer, according to the horoscope gods.. (OK it's just the one horoscope god that has a say in this, and he's the tightwad one) is that any money stuff that comes along today has to be all about the long term and a bunch of stuff about responsibility and lasting value and blah, blah, blah. That guy is such a buzzkill.

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CAPRICORN:

Sometimes it's fun to waste time and do things that have no practical purpose whatsoever. Today isn't that day for you. My sincere apologies, but you'll be happier if you have an answer to "why am I doing this particular thing, and what's the clearly defined goal here" today.

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AQUARIUS:

Get stuff done today. Don't tell people about it just go work your ass off.

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PISCES:

The horoscope gods have decided that you can woo the world today and they've made it so that if you put your foot in your mouth it'll only be noticed that you're wearing a mighty fine shoe.... even if it's a musty old bedroom slipper with broken down sides. Dam, I really wish they'd give me some of that mojo.

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Horoscope November 26th and 27th 2011

2011-11-26T02:17:00.001-08:00

ARIES:

You could get lost in the crowd; but since you're the best Aries out there, I don't know why you'd want to. Seems kind of silly to me. If I were you, I'd go for the loud look at me stuff this weekend.

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TAURUS:

You could look at what other people have and compare yourself, but I don't know why you'd want to....what with you being the most talented Taurus in the whole wide world and all.

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GEMINI:

I know you have tact, even if you doubt it. And I know it wouldn't kill you to remember that when you have the option of pissing people off. Enemies you make this weekend will be around to haunt you for awhile, but so will bad cooking odors or the memory of a badly chosen movie. Be careful of your choices.

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CANCER:

Do it all on Saturday and pay for it on Sunday. No, not in the go-to-church-and-repent-your-sins sense. More like the... eat that whole cake/drink all that hooch/overwork it on Saturday, you'll feel like shit on Sunday sense.

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LEO:

Psst, looking for a good time? Go ahead because what happens on Saturday stays in Saturday. Sunday you'll want people to take you more seriously, so you probably won't want to behave like a total ass that day.

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VIRGO:

Once a month we all get the opportunity to look deeply into our own insecurities and laugh at them for the ridiculous, ruinous things they are. Most of us do laundry instead. You can do either this weekend, but remember, wool will shrink.

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LIBRA:

This weekend is excellent for making up stories and excuses, outright lies and zealous exaggerations. If you have no interest in writing, maybe convincing someone that your awesome point of view is the only one worthy of consideration will entertain you.... and even serve a useful purpose.

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SCORPIO:

Even if you have bad, bad, awful, stinking money skills, you can use this weekend to dream up future potential, and get some clearly superior to today results. You should be able to sell other people on your potential/make believe future as well.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Sometimes you can get away with all kinds of stuff, because sometimes you can see how obvious it is that what other people think of you is completely in your control. This weekend is sometime. Don't waste that.

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CAPRICORN:

Well I guess you could convince yourself that you have something to hide, but chances are the people you're hiding shit from really have something to hide, and they don't seem too worried. Fuck it, I say. Be all you.

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AQUARIUS:

You ever have a total stranger walk past you on the street and tell you to smile? I don't know what produces those people, or which evil god gives them the notion to do something like that, but your horoscope this weekend is......."smile".

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PISCES:

If you want to be a pain in the ass this is a great weekend for it. Protesting every little thing you want won't make you any friends but you'll feel better. Or, you can dig up that baffling ability you have to accept every one and everything for what it is. Doesn't cause any big changes doing that, but what the hell, were you really going to save the planet anyway?

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Horoscope for November 21st to 25th... more on the cycles of change

2011-11-21T02:49:00.001-08:00

The horoscope gods are on the move around the sky this week and the result is a change of focus for most of us.

On Wednesday the Sun hops over to Sagittarius and that means you can expect an extra burst of intensity from people towards the middle of the week.

On Thursday, aberrant Mercury begins moving in what looks like a backwards direction through Sagittarius. Traditionally, this is considered a bad time to start particular new projects, but it's supposed to be an excellent time to pick up old projects and get them finished. This period lasts for three weeks as Mercury wanders back into Scorpio.

This weeks horoscope is a summary of old projects that could benefit from your attention in the next three weeks and opportunities for new projects that probably shouldn't be ignored.

ARIES:

Old projects = Financial projects, especially to do with other people's money

New projects = Advanced learning, legal stuff, global contacts.

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TAURUS:

Old projects = Collaboration, alliances, equality.

New projects = Partners money, mysteries, sex.

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GEMINI:

Old projects = Daily work and health routine.

New projects =Partnerships, cooperation and negotiations.

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CANCER:

Old projects = Creativity, romance, children, games.

New projects = Work, service, health habits.

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LEO:

Old projects = Home repairs and home based work.

New projects = Idealism, creativity, kids, competition.

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VIRGO:

Old projects = Communications, basic learning, siblings.

New projects = Home, long term security, a parent.

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LIBRA:

Old projects = Value based projects. Self value and monetary value.

New projects = Dexterity and communication based skills.

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SCORPIO:

Old projects = Projection and presentation of yourself.

New projects = Money and self worth.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Old projects = Sharing secrets and hidden things.

New projects =Personal appearance and presentation.

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CAPRICORN:

Old projects = What you do for other people, personal aspirations.

New projects = Weaknesses into strengths, partners work or standing.

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AQUARIUS:

Old projects = Reputation, career, a parent, authority.

New projects = Long term planning, self employment, groups.

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PISCES:

Old projects = Contracts, foreign contacts.

New projects = Social and career standing, a parent.

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horoscope November 19th and 20th 2011

2011-11-18T16:00:00.001-08:00

ARIES:

Choose carefully what you obsess on (can you do that? Yes, but no one said it was easy). If you're going to be a perfectionist about things, make sure it's working for you and not fucking you up.

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TAURUS:

Hey!! loosen up. Quit measuring everyone else's (and your) behaviour..you'll have more fun that way.

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GEMINI:

Letting little annoyances screw with your contentment is silly.

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CANCER:

You're very good at planning, but serendipity doesn't care about that. Focusing on the right now instead of the tomorrow, or later, or then, will keep serendipity from being a destructive bitch.

LEO:

Talking to other humans about money stuff is an excellent idea.

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VIRGO:

Other people's messy thinking, or careless words aren't important enough to fret about. Are they?

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LIBRA:

Contrary to public opinion, what you get intuitively should hold up to analysis. So analyze it. If it's good, then you retain it.

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SCORPIO:

Organize other people if you have to. If they won't let you organize them, categorize them. We call it insight.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Share your knowledge.

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CAPRICORN:

People who think in fuzzy, illogical ways aren't necessarily wrong, maybe annoying, but not automatically wrong.

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AQUARIUS:

You might want to consider just taking people and things at face value this weekend and lay off the investigations into the why and wherefore of it all.

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PISCES:

Let other people do things for you. Oh yeah, you might have to ask, because not everyone is in tune with your horoscope.

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September 19th to 23rd, 2011

2011-09-19T02:41:00.001-07:00

No horoscope today!!

But I will tell you this...Mars moves into Leo on Wednesday, and the Sun joins Venus in Libra on Friday. You'd think that with two important planets in Libra, everyone will be all peace, love and understanding. NOT.

Libras won't say the things they need to say unless they're also word artists...(that would mean a strong Mercury)... and Mercury is currently in Virgo, so people are more inclined to think critically now.

Mars in Leo can be a lot of fun, but it's a touchy ego here and wants to be in charge. Mars in Leo mixed with the Libra planets is a good placement for an insane cult leader that demands complete loyalty. So it wouldn't be a bad idea to consider everyone around you to have the potential to react like insane cult leaders.

Over all, If I were the kind of person that wanted to avoid being surprised by some long hidden aggravations and resentments of the people around me, I'd encourage those people to speak up this week, and I'd give them lots of room to say what they really want to say.

It's probably not a bad idea to get your own aggravations and upsets out in the open in a calm and sensible manner now, before the planets move signs. It's just easier than letting shit happen, and then losing your mind and dreaming up insane revenge plots that you'll never actually resort to, but enjoy imagining.

If you missed the weekend horoscope it was an over view of Venus in Libra and how that should affect each sign.
Click here, or scroll down to "older posts" at the bottom of the page.

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COMMENTS

It's all about Venus, the inventor of chocolate and flowers

2011-09-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

Venus is in Libra. She's going to hang around there until the 9th of October.

Venus tells you when and where being nice pays off, and when the appearance of things are more important. Venus expects everything to be a bit of an artistic masterpiece. This is the one that says "no, you can't slide a slab of meat down the bare table, you'll want to put it on a plate, preferably a nicely decorated plate."

Venus is at home in Libra, being one of the two signs that Venus rules. She works a little differently in Libra than she does in Taurus. In Libra, she's more concerned with fairness and universal justice, so people are going to really howl if injustice comes across their path. But she still wants everything to look nice.

Your horoscope this weekend isn't your weekend horoscope, it's the influence you can expect based on your ascendant (the tab up top that says "What's My Rising Sign" will get you your ascendant/rising sign) It's expected to be in play until approximately October 9th. Approximately, because everyone's chart is a bit different.

ARIES:

Venus in your seventh house, says that if you put your efforts into playing nice with people and making sure that fairness has the final say, then she won't spit on you from the heavens. You'll probably expect everyone else to want peace and harmony too, and that could cause problems.

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TAURUS:

Venus rules Taurus, (along with Libra) so she likes you anyway, and if you put your efforts into making your work area look nice, you don't screw over work mates, and you deal with exercise, diet and pets in a fair and balanced way you'll get more benefit from that than at other times.

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GEMINI:

It's your duty to flirt with everyone and everything this month. Children should be easier to reason with and thus more enjoyable than normal. Sports, anything in the field of arts; and investments that aren't too serious should be rewarding.

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CANCER:

Venus is in your home...and no it isn't breaking and entering, she says she's helping you. She's got you looking around your home deciding exactly which antique knick knack you need to make your life absolutely perfect. If peace and a balanced decor aren't evident, she's gonna be pissed and you're going to be out of whack. Making money from home might be a focus, if it is then that's good. Rearranging old icky memories to make them taste a little better is easier right now too.

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LEO:

You're forbidden from fighting and arguing with neighbours and siblings until later in October. Consider yourself Irish, with the gift of the gab and the ability to make everyone else get along. Getting your point across to people should be easier, and so should day to day travel like commuting and local errands. Writing should be more fluid as well.

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VIRGO:

Things should come to you with less hassle, and you'll be able to see deeper value in the resources around you. As long as you aren't financially motivated by fear, then overspending shouldn't be a problem. Any financial benefits that come during this transit aren't supposed to be permanent, but they should be enjoyed.

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LIBRA:

Libras are the people who are most likely to feel befuddled and out of balance just by being too physically near to people. It isn't because everyone else is creepy, per se. But there is something a little creepy to Libra about people because they can throw you out of balance just because they breath wrong..This is the time when you're most likely to attract people who don't upset your inner equilibrium and you'll probably be more comfortable with people. Know what you really need and separate it from what you want, because you should be able to attract what you need now.

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SCORPIO:

If you expect yourself to be more social during this transit, you could end up feeling frustrated. Keeping more to yourself wouldn't be out of the unusual. You should have an easier connection to what's really floating around in the recesses of your own mind. Nailing down your motivations would be a good use of this time; so would spending time with people who can't or don't socialize.

*******

SAGITTARIUS:

You'll be creating the most harmony in your life during this transit around people you aren't emotionally close to. Not your best friends so much as people you share a goal with. Groups of people who have something in common are good for you now...Activity around secondary forms of income is also something you can harmonize right now.

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CAPRICORN:

Career confidence and confidence in your own abilities could do more for you than a handful of college degrees right now. Expect people to like you, and see you as competent and able, because you probably are right now, and even if you don't believe in whatever it is you're doing, other people will, so don't waste that.

Be sociable with people that matter and have influence.

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AQUARIUS:

The usual won't do. Different faces, different places and new things want some attention from you. You're open to new theories and new philosophies. Learning things that you never thought about before will bring the most satisfaction.

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PISCES:

Objectivity about your relationships with other people will make a difference now. Objectivity about your financial relationships with other people will save you a whole lot of trouble. You're more likely to want to issue ultimatums if everything isn't easy and trouble free between you and whoever. Bad idea Pisces. Wait until after the middle of October.

Venus in Libra sometimes brings financial benefits to people close to Pisces.

*******

The weekly horoscope all in one place and just for you September 12th and 17th and the days in between too

2011-09-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

ARIES:

Monday is "listen to your intuition day" Tuesday and Wednesday are both "I won't take shit personally because I don't have to if I don't want to" days and they're also, "why should I take anything you say seriously anyway?" days. Thursday and Friday are "there's nothing wrong with assessing everything on purely a financial basis, cause I can do that when I want to and learn lots doing that" days.

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TAURUS:

Monday is a "there are probably a million and one ways to make extra money and I could think of them if I wasn't plagued with the day to day stuff" day. It's also a "I should probably relax and be social" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "I can hide my frustration from the stupid world and kick the wall if I have to when no one is looking" days. Thursday and Friday are "maybe I shouldn't get too caught up in other people's problems and maybe I should put some emotional distance between me and those other people's problems" days.

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GEMINI:

Monday is a "I should probably listen to what people are saying, but then again, I know best, so why should I?" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "so what if I get caught up in gossip, lose my focus and blow time off in unproductive ways" days. Wednesday and Thursday are "I'll chew my nails and stew about stupid things that aren't worth stewing about because sometimes I just do that" days.

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CANCER:

Monday is a "There's more to life than I can see, so I should probably learn more, or think about learning more, maybe, or do more" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "I can what I do better than anybody else, and I'm gonna prove it, so there" days. Thursday and Friday are "holy shit, is my old age going to be comfortable or not, and am I secure enough?" days. There also, "I wish I had a fancy dress thing to go to and maybe a tea party would be fun, but instead I have to do this shit" days.

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LEO:

Monday is a "I should have sex" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "to hell with the economy, to hell with obstacles, I can do and be what I want because I'm me, so there" days. Thursday and Friday are "I can present anything in a pleasingly palatable way and make everyone want what I've got" days.

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VIRGO:

Monday is a "I want someone to dote on, and I'm going to be real nice to people and I expect them to be real nice back to me" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "why do people spend money on stupid things?" days and also "why do stupid people think I'm going to spend MY money on their harebrained ideas?" days. Thursday and Friday are "if I don't think about the small things, then nobody else will, and everything will fall apart and go to hell" days.

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LIBRA:

Monday is a "Ooh, I bet I can get to the job-well-done stage if I just stick to what I'm doing and don't wander off half way through" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "I should be in charge of everything, and I should be around people who are confident and assertive and don't take shit from anyone else but me" days. Thursday and Friday are "I can be completely practical about money and resources and I can be so fucking pleasant that I can get people to thank me for saying awful things...if I want to" days

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SCORPIO:

Monday is a "I should have some fun, but maybe not laze around on my ass avoiding things that need to be done" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "As long as I keep my focus, there's no job in the whole wide world I can't do, and I don't get why everyone else isn't just like me" days Thursday and Friday are "I don't want no jumpy, flighty airheads in my space, so I better look for stable, safe, responsible people" days..They're also, "why the hell doesn't anyone give me presents for no particular reason" days.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Monday is a "I should probably eat healthy things, otherwise I won't feel as good as I'd like to, and I won't be a martyr and do shit for people just because they think I should" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "I have a bit of fun energy that needs burnt off and I should tease people and make fun of them, or maybe I should go for a very long walk instead, but I probably won't because I don't have the time, and I heard that if you imagine yourself working out, the results are the same anyway" day. Thursday and Friday are "I can be serious about my goals and work really hard and get so-o much accomplished, but I'd kinda like to be lazy and relax because I just should" days.

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CAPRICORN:

Monday is a "I don't know why I have to deal with people who are impossibly set in their ways and why they can't just get what I mean" day... Tuesday and Wednesday are "I should be more laid back about domestic matters, like family stuff and I shouldn't get my knickers in a knot about stupid things that don't matter, but maybe I'll knot my knickers anyway" day. Wednesday and Thursday are "I should find ways to get across how I really and truly feel about things, and if I can be a mushy about it then maybe I will because someone should" days.

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AQUARIUS:

Monday is a "I think I'll make sure I have what I need to do the job, whatever the job is, and not go spendy crazy doing that" day. Tuesday and Wednesday are "I'm gonna say what I'm thinking without thinking about the effect and to fuck with the consequences" days. they're also "Oh I get it, so I don't need to hear the rest (but maybe I didn't reeeeeely get it)" days. Thursday and Friday are "My home is my castle and I want it to be pleasant and nice and nobody better screw that up" days.

*******

PISCES:

Monday is a "I think I should relax and not read into anything and maybe I'll think about doing little things just for myself" day... Tuesday and Wednesday are "I'll show you, I'll show the world, and eventually you'll all come to know that I'm the best person in the world because one day I'll have all the money in the world, and I'm going to come up with more better ways to get all that money" days. Thursday and Friday are "Uh oh, I'm going to have to forget what I already know if I'm going to make room in my brain for more knowledge, or else all that knowledge is going to be so crammed in there it won't make any sense" days.

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Weekend Horoscope...September 10th and 11th.

2011-09-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

ARIES:

The magic word for Aries this weekend is empathy (not sympathy). If you empathize with people who piss you off, or otherwise affect you in ways you wish they didn't affect you, it doesn't mean you lose the battle, or the war or anything really. You can still empathize and not like them...they're just less likely to notice that you dislike them. If they don't understand that, then they're less likely to stick pins in small dolls that look just like you.

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TAURUS:

Taurus people may or may not donate to a cause simply because a need is presented. You're much more likely to donate to a grandly eloquent fantasy or an ideal. Encouraging your friend's fantasies is either a Taurean strength or a Taurean weakness...I guess it depends on how delusional your friends are. I think the point the horoscope gods are trying to make is that being practical about people this weekend would probably be a good idea.

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GEMINI:

Make an impression this weekend. You could probably get away with convincing people you're a lost descendant of an important royal family and stand to inherit a kingdom. The fact that there really aren't any important royal families left won't be noticed. Or you could bring some of that illusion and imagination into your work and career thoughts and attitudes and plans and get a push of enthusiasm going.

*******

CANCER:

This weekend you're more likely to be the round peg in the round hole, or the square peg in the square hole, or the.. well, you get it. The round pegs trying to jam themselves into square holes have the potential to irritate you this weekend, so the horoscope gods suggest viewing their antics with some benevolent humour.

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LEO:

Getting people to do what you want them to do is a skill and and an ability everyone wants to conquer. Leos will probably be working on that skill more than anyone else this weekend. Good luck with that. P.S. Expect delays and lateness and you won't be disappointed.

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VIRGO:

This weekend should afford you the opportunity of appreciating the differences between yourself and other people. You might think I've found a subtle way to call you a freak, or maybe that I'm calling your friends and family freaks. Surprisingly, I'm not. I'm saying not to tussle with people that just see the world differently than you. Even if you've known them forever and ever and they should know better.

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LIBRA:

Other people's expectations are rude things, and they won't propel a Libra to do one damned thing. Then again you can paralyze yourself with your own expectations of yourself. "Oh my God, I'm not doing this whatever I'm doing good enough!" Heehee, you're so silly Libra. Sometimes you have to A) get away and go sit by a tree or something for a while, or B) remind yourself why it is you're doing what you're doing and what you like about it, and do it for those reasons only... not because someone expects it, or is counting on you, or could be let down.

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SCORPIO:

Afternoon talk show hosts will hate me for this, but you Scorps would be better off stifling those bigger feelings this weekend... I'm talking about the over sized ones that might pop up. Stuff them back down from whence they came and get on with what you're doing. On the plus side, any thing you do for fun this weekend should be good for your soul. So, do something fun for you.

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SAGITTARIUS:

So if home isn't idealistic and perfect, you can always make it that way in your head. It's amazing what you can accomplish with just a little denial of reality. You can also bring some ignore-the-crap type of magic into your home with nothing more than a piece of art or a doodad trinket something or other that makes you smile when you see it, thus being able to ignore all else.

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CAPRICORN:

If you think you know exactly what someone is talking about this weekend, before they finish saying what they're saying don't second guess yourself. You're probably completely correct in most of your assumptions this weekend. Don't forget, that's a real annoying quality to the other person. Sometimes it pays to pretend to be a tinier bit slower than you really are.

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AQUARIUS:

You know that old story about how the carver lets the stone show him/her what's inside, and she/he's just using his/her chisels to expose what's already there? That's not any different than gawking at the leaky tap or fowled up row of knitting for so long that it finally occurs to you what's needed to fix it. Sometimes letting the answer come to you is the better way. If it's about things or resources including $, and it's this weekend, and you're an Aquarius, then sometime is now. P.S. if you could invent a word for the ever clumsy and pretty stupid he/she, him/her, I'd appreciate it.

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PISCES:

Dear Pisces; Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. Perfect is nothing. Perfect is no one. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect.No one is Perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Now have a nice weekend.

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September 6th to 9th

2011-09-06T02:40:00.001-07:00

Even dividing the entire population of the earth into twelve general categories, I sometimes think twelve is too many, and some lazy horoscope writer will eventually come up with a horoscope written for the entire population. Just one entry every day. I'd do it, but I'm too lazy, I have a Libra ascendant.

ARIES:

Whether you're looking for attention or not, you'll be getting it Tuesday and Wednesday. For career and work oriented Aries I'd say you should behave accordingly and go impress whoever is in charge of the impress me and I'll promote you department. All Aries should be spending those days working on whatever goals they have... also people you don't want to notice you will notice you as well... traffic police, shoplifting detectives, the nosy neighbours, people like that. If you were ever going to dare someone to eat bugs for your entertainment and the nickel in your pocket, then Thursday and Friday are your days. People will go to extreme behaviour with the slightest provocation from you and it might be best to recognize when you're provoking that weirdness. Or use it to your benefit.

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TAURUS:

Tuesday and Wednesday people around you might be quicker to jump onto new ideas and abstract thoughts than you. It's probably best to just let them and not tell them they're all going to hell in a handbasket, cause I've found that doesn't always work... especially when I turn out to be the idiot that didn't see the wonderfullness of the Snuggie. Still don't, but someone's very rich. Oddly enough you're more likely to appreciate new ideas on Thursday and Friday, but especially if they're your own new ideas. You'd be better off not hiding those new ideas. Be ballsy on those days.

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GEMINI:

Tuesday and Wednesday, take complements gracefully. That means you just say "thank you" not "oh it's nothing, you're stupid for complementing me and don't know what you're talking about you idiot." You can also complement yourself and just say "thank you, yes I do have some pretty great talents and abilities". Disagreements and exchanges of ideas on Thursday and Friday should be pretty normal and forgotten soon enough. Life would be perfect if all Geminis were traveling somewhere those days, not because we're trying to move all the Geminis along, honest, but you have travel want-to's in your chart those days, so even taking a different route to get where you usually go will do.

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CANCER:

How much you're willing to interact with people or maybe one person in particular is likely the topic for Tuesday and Wednesday. Responsibility inside of relationships that shouldn't be all about responsibility is getting too complicated of a topic for my short little horoscopes. You work it out. Thursday and Friday you can clue into what it is people want, even if they don't really know until you tell them. Making that work for you shouldn't be too difficult.

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LEO:

Getting meaning out of what you do on Tuesday and Wednesday could be the issue. Rewards based on anything other than your own attitude won't be enough. In other words if you don't like what you do, you really won't be happy with it, and you'll have to go with quality over anything else. Don't take it too seriously though, it's only a two day thing. Don't be overly neurotic those days either, you kind of have to set a limit. Thursday and Friday avoid people who want to tell you what to do... Oops I just told you what to do. It's OK though... it isn't Thursday yet.

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VIRGO:

Save yourself the energy required to express your disapproval with whatever it is that you don't like on Tuesday and Wednesday. Even though you probably have a perfectly good reason to not like whatever it is, it isn't going to sway anyone if you say so, and it will probably just create bigger problems. Then again, if you happen to be the type that likes problems, well... you know what to do then. Thursday and Friday destress yourself with whatever destressing ways you have. If you have none get some.It'll be up to you to make people feel welcome both days ..you know..if you want them to feel welcome.

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LIBRA:

You're going to want to be mostly very practical Tuesday and Wednesday and realism should win out over stupid thoughts and ideas that aren't geared towards long term security. Thursday and Friday aren't like that at all. Both days are better for creative ideas that are unusual and maybe even apparently stupid because they're new and and that's why they're creative. The usual routine will bore you, so try something new.

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SCORPIO:

If you pretend everyone around you is a hospital patient, Tuesday and Wednesday, then you'll naturally temper your words and be less likely to speak more harshly than the situation requires. You'll probably also be a condescending ass but that doesn't carry as many social penalties as being unnecessarily harsh. Thursday and Friday the call of new, better, shinier things for your home might be a little loud. If you wait until Saturday it'll pass, or you could end up with the newest bestest piece of home technology and art in your neighbourhood.

*******

SAGITTARIUS:

I don't think you'd appreciate any surprises Tuesday and Wednesday and you'll probably be sniffing suspiciously at anything new that does come your way. Verify facts and stories. Save the new stuff for Thursday and Friday when you'll be more receptive to your own ideas as well as others. Nervous energy can be channeled into learning or finding something that really gets your attention on both Thursday and Friday.

*******

CAPRICORN:

If you want, you can scare people on Tuesday and Wednesday with a very serious attitude. You can also go with a slight air of elegance and not frighten anybody. Either one will be effective, but whichever way you elect to go, Tuesday and Wednesday probably don't really deserve to be taken too seriously. Capricorns are happy as freelancers and freelancers don't have steady incomes. Sometimes they're rich, sometimes they're poor, so being temporarily poor should never be looked at as a long term thing for any Caps, even employed by other people or retired Caps. Seeing the value in resources at hand is a Capricorn trait. Thursday and Friday are all about the resources around you, and using them best.

*******

AQUARIUS:

Aquarians aren't known to be best friends with tradition, but sometimes tradition is like the passive aggressive mother in law that sits quietly in the corner glaring at you until you finally sigh and go see what it's going to cost to get her to stop glaring at you. Tuesday and Wednesday you'll probably find some opportunities to take a traditional approach to something and save yourself all kinds of trouble. Thursday and Friday are better for your originality and slightly off the wall approach to things, especially things that need fixed.

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PISCES:

Secondary earning opportunities might pop up on Tuesday and Wednesday. That just means extra money above and beyond your usual, but it's just the opportunity. You have to decide if you're willing to rent out the bosses parking space while he's away.... or whatever opportunity presents itself. Thursday and Friday you might want to keep your secrets, especially the ones that make you sound ultra conservative and sightly repressed. It's just a good policy some times.

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Horoscope for September 5th, 2011

2011-09-05T05:42:00.000-07:00

ARIES:

Licensing and legal details that need attention should get their due attention today. You should find it easier to influence people and change their minds about all kinds of things today. I'd write you a longer scope today, but I'm still spooked and a little pouty about how you managed to have the only horoscope last week.

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TAURUS:

Savoir Faire to you today Taurus. It means know how. You should just know how to get what you want today, and how to do what you want today. Go to hell.

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GEMINI:

You'll be looking for companionship today and I wouldn't be surprised if you're a pain in the ass with all your friendly-ness and everything. Oh yeah, you probably know some friendly people so you'll be alright then, and won't bother us crumudgeons too much right?

Andy Rooney, famous American crumudgeon

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CANCER:

They say that once you get to the top people want to knock you down, or over, or off. I don't think that's limited to the people at the top though. If your job is mopping out gas station bathrooms you're just as likely to be challenged by people as the president of multicorp international. If you're a Cancer you're probably being challenged by people lately that you aren't competing with. Doesn't keep them from competing with you though. It's just a pain in the ass you get to deal with for the next few weeks. Best remedy is to focus on the quality of your work, whatever that work is. Don't overindulge in food or drink or spending on Monday.

Muamar Gaddhafi, famous Libyan Asshole

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LEO:

Spending on people to spoil them for no real reason is kind of a Leo thing. You're kind of Leo-ish today and feeling generous. If you're buying lunch, pick a cheap restaurant. If you're a gambling type of Leo, odds are you'll want to bet on something today. Set a limit.

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VIRGO:

If you feel obliged to do something for someone, you can't blame them. The obligation is yours and you invented it and you have to either do what you think you're obliged to do and get it over with, or else go against your own self and say no. Did I call you a sucker? nope. Sometimes we're just obligated. Oh well.

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LIBRA:

Organize your workplace, your home, your friends, your thoughts and your words. After all that you'll be too exhausted to get into trouble, and you probably won't accomplish much else, but you'll be organized.

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SCORPIO:

Read Leo. Better yet, you and Leo should meet for lunch, you can fight over who gets to pay the bill. "It's on me" ... "Oh no, I said it was my treat" etc. Lock up your credit cards.

*******

SAGITTARIUS:

I know you like people, and you don't mind helping them, but today I don't think you'll want to be the listening post for other people's tales of woe. Get an excuse, or have a last minute fake appointment ready if you can't cut them off at the pass.

*******

CAPRICORN:

I think you'd be happy if you could spend the day locked away in a fully equipped think lab to make all kinds of plots and plans for the future. Others might expect you to appear a little less serious. I know you're thinking, you know you're thinking, but a less serious face on it now and then wouldn't kill you, you know.

*******

AQUARIUS:

Sometimes happy, optimistic, and yes, maybe slightly stupid people have more appeal than sensibly smart, realistic ones. This is one of those days. Don't worry, there's balance to everything and the grumbly malcontents will be welcome other days along with the sensibly realistic ones.

*******

PISCES:

If you're presenting something to someone, know before hand how it's going to go and what you're going to say. People around you expect you to put their interests first today, because sometimes they just do.

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Blogger post gets eaten by a hungry cyber wolf and I don't have hunting gear handy.

2011-08-30T14:47:00.001-07:00

I like writing the horoscopes, it's just a fun thing to do most of the time.
Writing Tuesday's post was a hassle. I had a case of the dontwannas, and had to kind of make myself sit there and do it. When I do things that way it takes about five times longer because I'm looking around the room for a distraction and generally thinking of other things I could be doing. I hit the publish button when I finally got it done and instead of looking at the published post for really bad typos, I was so glad to be done, I just walked away, and didn't notice that only Aries horoscope was published. Is Google an Aries? Is that why it kicked out everyone else's scope?
Somewhere out there in the ether the rest of Tuesday's post is floating around, and somewhere in the real world floating around is someone who knows how to go into cyber world and get that stuff back. Having access to someone like that isn't unusual, having access to someone like that when your cyber stuff has a hissy fit is unusual.

So should astrology know when it's a bad time to do things and if you can expect your blog post to rebel? Yes, that's the theory, but to take advantage of it to the point where nothing ever, ever fucks up would mean that you would have to study every single second of time in the charts and I'm pretty sure that would be nuts. It would also mean you were completely insane for expecting nothing ever to go wrong.

Google was prompting me to tell them my phone number when I logged into the blog. They say they want it in case something happens to your blog. Yeah, something then happened to my blog. I know it's a coincidence, but Google also wants people to use their legal names on Google Plus. I'm not comfortable with so much personal information about so many people being gathered up in one place, and managed by one particular group of people.
I wasn't around during the Second World War, but it wasn't that long ago and we've all known enough people who were there that can tell you why amassing great lists of people's personal information in one place is just bad policy and I honestly think it's a mistake to shrug it off as a cost of technology.

So, now I'm wondering if I should move my blog to a less borksome platform and as a small and unimportant statement about Google's general privacy plundering. If I do move it I'll be using astrology to pick the best day and that could be a thousand years in the future, so, I'm here for now I guess. and your scopes will be back on Monday.

August 30th to September 2nd and Oh My Gawd, Summer's Over!

2011-08-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

ARIES:

Procrastinating on stuff Tuesday is going to come back and bite you, so finish what you're doing. Sometimes it's hard to tell if reckless lunatics are drawn to Aries, or if Aries are drawn to reckless lunatics. Either way the results are the same, you seem to have "reckless lunatic liker" engraved in your aura. You can only shun those special people if you see them coming, so I suggest you adjust your radar Wednesday and Thursday, or else accept the people around you as reckless lunatics and keep your reputation a bit apart from theirs. Being direct Friday about what you want, need and expect will make you feel better..whether or not it actually gets you what you want probably isn't really important. Keep your stuff separate from other people's stuff.

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Allright Blogger! What the hell happened to the horoscopes?!
I wrote them and they were all here, and now I look and there's only one?

Just Ugh Blogger...really, really ugh.

Monday August 29th and just Monday August 29th

2011-08-29T02:46:00.000-07:00

ARIES:

Self improvement is all well and good, but when do you know when you're done? Is it when you start improving everyone around you? Perfectionism carries it's own set of problems and I bet there are a million self help books out there telling you how to beat the I'm-addicted-to-improving-myself problem. Monday is a good day to relax and be an ass. Oh yeah and watch what you eat.

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TAURUS:

It's great being able to relate to people intellectually and keeping it all on a civilized level is wonderful, but the horoscope gods say to stop that. Sometimes it's all about how you feel and to hell with with what you think, or what anyone else thinks...unless of course you have a boss that signs your paycheque, with those people it might be better to relate to them emotionally, but speak to them intellectually...they can rarely tell the difference anyway. Your friends, your family and the check out clerk aren't your boss though, and a little emotional rapport will score points for you today.

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GEMINI:

You don't have to be the most competent person in the whole wide world and you really don't have to be an efficiency expert at home. You'd be better off sorting out your own ideas and letting the things around you find their own level of chaos today.

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CANCER:

Funny how people don't always thank you for sharing that information you've so carefully cultivated and amassed from so many different places. Free information has a way of being disrespected, and if you don't come across like a highly paid consultant breaking all the rules to share some of that information, then you're probably wasting your times.

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LEO:

Schedule your time today Leo and stick to it. Whatever it is that other people need should come only after you've looked after all your own crap and finished whatever it is you wanted to do...yep, even if you're just thinking about picking your nose for the entire day.

*******

VIRGO:

The Sun and the Moon are both in your first house, making you masterful with details today, but Mercury is hanging back in your 12th house, because he's liking it there lately and is refusing to leave...Blame him if you're wondering why people aren't quite getting what it is your saying, or if your astute ability to see what's wrong with this or that isn't being appreciated.

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LIBRA:

Virgo and you should get along pretty good today, your both being analytically nuts. Oh sorry, I meant to capture that in a completely positive phrase. Nah, I don't have time today....Stop analyzing the shit out of everything, including yourself. Oh yeah, and the horoscope gods say you should meditate.

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SCORPIO:

You may be seeing what's wrong with people and groups and associations today, and the horoscope gods can't stop you, because they think that's a good thing, and I guess it is, probably mostly because you don't like any of those people or things less just because you see the faults and problems.You might want to keep your insights to yourself today though, because not everybody is gonna get that. Put group interests first today.

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SAGITTARIUS:

You might be more comfortable thinking of yourself more as an assistant than an in-charge initiator type some days. Not today please. Don't hide away..get yourself seen, be mouthy and take charge.

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CAPRICORN:

No one seems to know that smart and practical Capricorns are the most likely sign to get involved with the financial health of Nigerian Princes. That's because they're normally so damned practical that they don't have experience with the middle road and when they hear about a new business opportunity it screws up their balance between extremes. New ideas are attractive to you Monday, but for fuck's sake, be realistic.

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AQUARIUS:

Paying attention to the give and take in your relationships with people doesn't make you an emotional miser...OK maybe it does, but sometimes being an emotional miser gives you a better idea of how much you're willing to share, and how much you're willing to get involved with the people you've been giving and taking with. Just doing for others is fun and all, but if you're the only one doing the doing it gets old kind of fast...asking for payback won't kill you.

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PISCES:

If you're inefficient today (you're probably inefficient today) find someone to sucker into doing the efficiency requiring tasks for you, or else put it off for another day when you're feeling more efficient (this is the number one reason so many Pisces like to believe in reincarnation).

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Horoscope for the Weekend August 27th and 28th and that would be Saturday and Sunday according to my tortured calculations

2011-08-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

ARIES: Letting people (especially kids) revolve around other magnetic attractions beside yourself will increase their awe and respect of you in the long term. Losing yourself in creative pursuits or sports or contests this weekend is all good.

*******

TAURUS: You probably won't want to see any changes around your home this weekend and if the people around you want to introduce changes you'd be happier if you can stall or distract them until next week. You'll have to dream up your own excuses.

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GEMINI: If you get bitten by one of those oh-so-wow ideas, chase it down. You can refine it later, when you're sober, but your enthusiasm should have payoffs this weekend.

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CANCER: Don't cut anyone out of your will this weekend Cancer, because you'll just have to change it again eventually, and that's a waste of energy...Unless of course you're waving those changes around in people's faces, which may or may not work for you....for a while. In other words, blackmail of the emotional or any other variety won't work for you this weekend.

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LEO: Lots gets done this weekend IF you have a specific picture in your mind of what you're going for. If you work towards some indefinable something or other, and nothing gets accomplished, then tell yourself you're just in it for the experience...life's a journey, etc, etc. Toss yourself some self comforting, slightly zen sounding platitudes and you'll be fine.

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VIRGO: If you can't get your way this weekend, there's two options...subtle yet tricky manipulation or letting go of your idea and being supportive of the other way. Hmm, I guess all I can add is good luck with whatever you choose.

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LIBRA: Something isn't right if you're looking for attention this weekend or even wanting to get credit for what you've done. It isn't necessarily fair, but what's best for the group and others and society and the whole wide world is what's best for Libra this weekend.

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SCORPIO: Getting people to not be stupid this weekend will get you some support points for the future. And who doesn't want to bank support points?

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SAGITTARIUS: Being open to what people know, or think they know, and letting people find things out for themselves is a good option this weekend. If you keep quiet about what you know, you can't say "I told you so" later on, just "I knew it". Yep, not as satisfying, but life isn't fair.

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CAPRICORN: Possessive and greedy has it's place, but this weekend isn't it. Encouragement and sharing is more in line with what the horoscope gods have in store for you. Oh well.

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AQUARIUS: Demanding loyalty probably isn't the best way to go this weekend but then neither is completely ignoring people who want your attention. The middle path is supposed to always be the way to go, but it sounds boring to me. How bout you alternate back and forth between the extremes until something snaps? No? Oh well.

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PISCES: Taking pride in what you do this weekend is a natural thing and the horoscope gods are all for it. So I guess that means time would be well spent on things you can be proud of..... and cats.

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Your Horoscope for Monday August 22nd to Friday the 26th and I guess the future is here already.

2011-08-22T02:21:00.000-07:00

Urban lighting has shut off most of the stars in the sky, and it's debatable if we'll ever get them back. Turns out there's an app for that.

Bob Neave has a site that includes a planetarium of the sky above your head at this moment... if you could actually see what was up there. All the constellations are outlined and you can click on any of the heavenly bodies for more information. You can't do that with the real sky, but still, I can't be the only one that thinks it's sad and kind of ridiculous

http://neave.com/planetarium/

Some of you might live somewhere you can just go outside and look up, but most of us have to rely on a virtual sky now.

I don't think any of us are surprised things have worked out like this. Most of our ancestors would be gasping for air if they knew that we pay money to get exercise, and have bicycles that don't go anywhere no matter how hard we work.

I suppose there are people that are glad we can't see the actual stars anymore, otherwise the politicians we elect to speak and work on our behalf would fix that. Right? ah, I'll stop laughing now.

ARIES:

"Back up your words with actions" is a common enough imperative, but it doesn't apply to you on Monday or Tuesday. Those days are more about backing up your actions with words. I suppose that means you have to explain things slowly and carefully to people, but the upside is, you should be able to get through to them. Wednesday and Thursday, common sense is a valuable commodity both days, and you'll get to spend it freely. No yay about that, it only means people around you are running short on that particular sense. The horoscope gods say that security and confidence shouldn't be that difficult to find. Work or play, play or work Aries..if you can find a way to mix the two on Friday then life would be sun shiny bowl of sparkly something or other, but give it a shot anyway.

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TAURUS:

Making money in more than one place in your life is good. Spending money in a million different places...probably not so good. Monday and Tuesday, are all about the expansiveness of earning and spending, and I know which ones I'd want to see more and less of, but I'm not a Taurus. Wednesday and Thursday you could get sucked into mothering people who don't really need it, or don't need it from you. Kind of a waste of time, but if it makes you happy, then I guess it isn't a waste of time. Be in charge of stuff or people on Friday, it isn't a good day to go along with everyone else's ideas. Bossy should work for you.

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GEMINI:

How things relate to other things and how people connect or don't connect to each other are kind of the theme for you Monday and Tuesday, and spotting those connections should be beneficial for you. Wednesday and Thursday you might be feeling poorer than you really are, or overlooking assets and gifts that you already have. You might not want to do that. Speak up on Friday, you can tell people to go fuck themselves tactfully, and they won't know they've been told, but the chances are good you can get your point across and maybe they'll go fuck themselves.

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CANCER:

Saying just the right thing to the right person at the right time can be accidental or deliberate on your part, and you may never know the lasting impact your words have, but Monday and Tuesday they have lasting impact. If you make any promises or state any intentions on those days, follow through. Calm down Cancer, no one's out to get you on Wednesday and Thursday. Well, obviously I can't guarantee that, but you're liable to be more sensitive both days, and taking things personally that aren't personal, or giving a shit when they are personal might not be beneficial. Friday is good for buying stuff that's based on nothing but vanity and ego. Yay! OK, it's also good for making things and selling things and doing things that are based on vanity and ego...still yay!

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LEO:

You'll want to be careful about mixing money and belongings and friends on Monday and Tuesday. This doesn't mean you should or shouldn't, it just means you need to be aware of all the possible benefits and pitfalls. It pays to be choosy about who you're hitting up, or lending to. Wednesday and Thursday, the question of how you really, really feel about something will probably come up, and if, for whatever reason you can't describe how you really, really feel, it can cause problems later on. "I knew that plumber looked like an idiot." isn't a good thing to say after the fact. Feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget my feeeelings of...Oh sorry, your Friday made me think of a moldy song. Put your emotions into something useful, like ummm. I dunno, something useful...causes, charities, pound puppies whatever works for you.

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VIRGO:

Indispensable you could get into trouble doing tooooo many things at once on both Monday and Tuesday. Well, maybe not trouble exactly, since you thrive on that kind of stuff, but you'll want to consider where and when the opportunity to focus on one thing or nothing is going to fit in to your plans. Wednesday and Thursday possessiveness about your friends and family can be kind of funny and charming, if you play it right. If you don't play it right, it's just psycho. Bossy, I'm in charge stuff won't work for you Friday. Neither will trying to stifle the people who insist on saying stuff you just know would be better left unsaid. I guess your word for the day is patience.

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LIBRA:

Stick to what you know on Monday and Tuesday and not what you think; especially if you accidentally wander into any intense discussions, or arguments. Wednesday and Thursday, play to the crowd, and go after popularity ...particularly in work and career stuff. If you don't want to do that because you're pretending to be the shy and quiet type, then cooking for people will score big points. Oh wait, cooking something special and cooking it well will score big points. Don't worry, springing for take out accomplishes pretty much the same thing. Be friendly Friday, socialize. You can get people to do things your way, or even just get them move their car if you want.

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SCORPIO:

Monday and Tuesday work cooperatively if you can. Share ideas, steal ideas, refine other people's work, whatever. This means listening to other people as much as telling other people what you think. Wednesday and Thursday are going to be a bit sucky if you have to do things that you don't really believe in. So, telephone solicitors that don't really believe the no name viagra they're selling is going to help people, will probably want to be patient for those two days or work harder on things they do believe in. Avoid bosses or people in authority on Friday. If you're the authority, don't be an asshole.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Interesting people who present flashy new ideas can captivate you Monday and Tuesday. It doesn't matter if those new ideas are just dumb, or complete genius, as long as they bring some kind of novelty, you'll be happy. Emotional people are interesting sometimes, but getting sucked into their issues on Wednesday and Thursday won't do you any favours. If you know who and where the lunatics around you are, it's easier to stay out of their crap. Be careful about borrowing on either day, and if you are doing that, make sure all the details are good and orderly. Religion, law, travel and ambitious education are all good places to put your brain on Friday. Learn something.

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CAPRICORN:

Over analyzing things is helpful...on other days. Monday and Tuesday, you're more likely to cause anxiety if you don't respond to last minute changes like a Buddhist monk. Fake it if you have to, it still counts. Wednesday and Thursday you'll probably be happier with familiarity both in your people and places. Making demands on those people's time and attention can have interesting results, especially if you make sure they hear it all as demands and not invitations. If you want to feel some pride in someone else's accomplishment on Friday, go ahead. You can even brag if you want, but sadly, bragging about your own crap won't go over as well.

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AQUARIUS:

Leave room for your mind and interests to wander on Monday and Tuesday. One topic, or one anything or anybody will bug you after a while. Go for the shiny attractions. If you aren't a professional counselor, that won't stop people from using your services on Wednesday and Thursday, so it's up to you how counselor-ish you want to be or if you have the balls to send your needy friends a bill. Eat healthy and in calm surroundings both days. I'm not saying you should grovel or anything stupid like that on Friday, but side stepping your own pride might be a consideration if you accidentally walk into any little conflicts.

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PISCES:

Do you ever have one of those days where you learn more about yourself by the actions and words of other people? Two days, Monday and Tuesday are both offering you that. If you're game, pay attention to those other people and see if you do learn anything. I guess you'd get bonus points if it was anything useful. Another effect of these aspects is a mad rearranging of everything, furniture, closets, people, whatever. Wednesday and Thursday, you might want to dig in at home and take advantage of any amenities you've squirreled away there. Even if you do this, you'll still need a way to express yourself and have your say in the world. Oh yeah, computers. But more than that, writing, art and theatre have appeal both days. Pisces are weird, sometimes they just have to order people around, and if they try not to, they end up feeling anxious and tense. Friday, if you're being too nice to everyone, you might want to think about issuing a few demands as a form of preventive medicine and all that.

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2011-08-20T01:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get tired of hearing myself talk....Blah, Blah, Blah.
Make of your weekend whatever you want to make of your weekend, but from me to you, a flower or two.

ARIES

For Aries, Honeysuckle

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TAURUS

For Taurus, Foxglove

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GEMINI

For Gemini, Lily of the Valley

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CANCER

For cancer, White Roses

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LEO

For Leo, Marigold

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VIRGO

For Virgo, Buttercups

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LIBRA

For Libra, Bluebells

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SCORPIO:

For Scorpio, Red Geraniums

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SAGITTARIUS

For Sagittarius, Carnations

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CAPRICORN

For Capricorn, Pansies

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AQUARIUS

For Aquarius, Orchids

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PISCES

For Pisces, Waterlily Blooms

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Horoscope for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all in one place because that seems sensible...

2011-08-16T04:26:00.003-07:00

Mercury moving backwards, (yeah, it isn't really moving backwards it's just phucking around up there, and making it look like he's going backwards) is supposed to be a perfect time to go back and revise what you did before and duct tape and staple the things that need duct taped and stapled. This isn't just your own screw ups, it can be other people's messes that affect you. Mercury rules communication and how you think and process and share information. Basically the synapses in your brain and your email. Buying a computer under Mercury retrograde (backwards) is supposed to be bad, but I'm not sure I'd delay it if I really needed one and there was one wild ass sale going on. (you caught me, it was a really good sale!) I have a great story about how many ways my last computer fell apart, and I get to tell it when the subject comes up....that's priceless.

ARIES:

Tuesday is probably best spent doing what you're doing for it's own sake and not for approval or recognition and not for any other reason either. Wednesday and Thursday self control will keep you from all kinds of crap and embarrassment, and that matters too because you're attracting more attention both days. Friday money should be your main motivator, either making it or finding ways not to spend it, or getting the most for what you've got.

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TAURUS:

Find other people that you can kvetch with Tuesday, but don't read more into that than people who simply kvetch well together. Wednesday and Thursday you'll be drawn to weak people, or maybe they're drawn to you...the question is why? I don't know, maybe you're just really good at consoling people? Friday is great for slacking off and being lazy.

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GEMINI:

Tuesday you'll probably have to do what's best for everyone instead of what's best just for you...oh well, sometimes it just works out that way. Wednesday and Thursday you'll want to be the leader of the pack, if your pack is mostly cats, you'll have problems with that, if it's people you may have a shot. Friday, if you flip some change to a beggar you'll feel like you've done your part. Maybe those charitable feelings could be channeled somehow.

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CANCER:

Tuesday don't be surprised if people acting in their own self interest piss you off..you're kind of, sort of expecting something more noble and that isn't likely. The horoscope gods say that you shouldn't duck competition and you'll get further by diving right in Wednesday and Thursday. You should also size up your chances of getting away with being demanding...it looks pretty good. Friday, help someone else.

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LEO:

Tuesday, your quick understanding of complicated situations can be kind of baffling to people..even the ones who are just plain dumb. Wednesday and Thursday excitable people are all around and you're probably drawn to them. If you really want to get involved with the Tea Granny Revolutionary Guard make sure you know where your uncrossable line is. Friday should be all about looking good, and making things look good.

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VIRGO:

Tuesday you might want to notice (or pretend to notice) the boundaries between you and people who aren't you. Sharing feelings, closet space and parking spaces could be a pain. Wednesday and Thursday are designed for thinking about your long term security and how many ways there are of getting other people to think about your long term security. Causes are attractive Friday, so is the idea of getting more education, suing someone or joining a cult or religion...you choose.

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LIBRA:

Focus on accomplishing stuff Tuesday, wasting time is better other days. Choose your playmates carefully on Wednesday and Thursday, or ignore the ones you can't choose. Initiate things yourself, instead of waiting for someone else. Damned Libras, they're always waiting for other people to initiate things! Friday, old things, antique things are appealing and you can get all kinds of mileage out of something you'd normally ignore or toss out.

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SCORPIO:

Risk might be tempting on Tuesday, but if you make sure the risks you take aren't risky at all, you can walk away congratulating yourself for either walking away or taking the risk (which you made sure wasn't really risky beforehand) Also, verify people's woes before you feel real sorry for them. Wednesday and Thursday, criticizing people will piss them off no end both days, unless you sugar coat it and use all your diplomacy skills. Both days are good for getting lots of work done. Friday you're likely to sell out your own beliefs to get along with people and maintain peace. If that works for you, I guess it's good, but you do have the ability to persuade people to see things your way, especially if you're talking about the other person's unreasonably stupid and long established beliefs.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Tuesday isn't a day where self sufficiency gets all the rewards. It's more about interdependency and cooperation; so it's a good day to ask a godfather for a favour, because the return shouldn't be too painful. Wednesday and Thursday differences between people are highlighted and you have the potential to get into some really great arguments as long as the other party approaches it in the same sporting manner you do, it's all good. In other words, know your opponent. The other side of that aspect is sluttish behaviour has its own rewards too. People considered your social equal (isn't that really absolutely everybody?) won't do much for you, but people considered above and below you will. (hobos, bosses and heads of state?) I'm not sure where your pets fit in there, but they do. I guess it depends on whether we're talking about cats or dogs.

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CAPRICORN:

If you focus on the impact of your own words Tuesday, you'll come across less like a lunatic and more like a calm, rational person. Find some time to be by yourself if you need to come up with something original. Wednesday and Thursday coming up with new methods is good and all that, but are you absolutely sure the old methods are completely useless? Doubting yourself is just dumb, so I vote you don't do that, and the horoscope gods are with me on that as well. Friday could be very flirtatious and light if you let it, it's also good for not letting kids drive you mad, sports and self expression.

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AQUARIUS:

Tuesday the horoscope gods say your senses, all of them, need attention. Hey, I'm just telling you what they say, it's up to you do what you will with that. I'm expecting Aquarians to indulge in cheese tasting extravaganzas in silent darkness. Explain that one to your boss. I guess it could also mean that you should believe only half of what you hear. I like the cheese thing better though. Wednesday and Thursday, if you have a rebellion cooking, it isn't about the issue, as much as it's about deciding which method is going to work best for you. Passive aggressive, voicing disapproval, argument, exercise, overeating etc. There's a world of adventure in each choice, and sadly, you can't pick them all. If you can work from home Friday, do. You're going to want your home base to be all nice and clean and neat and orderly, so pick up the crap and dust before Friday gets here.

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PISCES:

Decide how you want to present yourself on Tuesday because it really is up to you, more so than usual. You'll want to separate your own feelings from other people's...in other words, if someone else is acting like the world is spinning out of control, you don't have to play. Wednesday and Thursday, watch what's behind any money spending, if it's all about the sparklies and excitement, then you probably won't be happy later on. If it's based on sober and boring, then it's all good. Friday you could get lost in a million different tasks and a million different places to get to without ever getting anything done, or if you want to fall back on boring again, you could get it all done with concentration and pre-planning and rigorous sticking to the plan.

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Horoscope for Monday August 15, 2011..Okay, I admit it's an interm temporary kind of deal, but if you use your imagination it's really a full length epic

2011-08-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say that some super important dire emergency came up that I just had to tend to. That didn't happen.

I procrastinated until now I've just run out of waking hours.
So, I'm giving you a very temporary, very short Monday scope.
I'll do a proper one later today, and add it when it's done.

ARIES: Don't blurt out stuff you shouldn't blurt.

TAURUS: People say stupid things, let it go.

GEMINI: Make up your mind, dammit!

CANCER: Don't give away things you have no business giving away.

LEO: Don't count on other people's money or spending habits today.

VIRGO: Do for yourself and let other people do the same.

LIBRA: Rely on your own knowledge of techniques and skills you already have.

SCORPIO: Whatever the hell you're trying to do, approach it directly, and quit skirting around it.

SAGITTARIUS: Buy some flowers for your home, and don't let idiots make it less than peaceful today.

CAPRICORN: Don't be looking for paranoid dark meanings in what people say.
They probably mean no more than exactly what they say...if that.

AQUARIUS: Be realistic about money today.

PISCES: Separate your problems from other people's problems.

Weekend Horoscope for August 13th and 14th and pictures for us simpler folk too.

2011-08-12T21:33:00.004-07:00

The Perseid meteor shower and a full moon don't mix, so I'm not even going to mention it because then I'll be disappointed because I can't see it this year. So shhh! No, we aren't missing anything ok?

ARIES:

Saturday is good for jumping into group stuff and just being with people. It's also a good time to get lost in fantasy, which may or may not involve other people...I just don't know how kinky you are. Sunday go with your intuition and if a demonstration of empathy is needed give it, or ask for it.

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TAURUS:

Saturday is good for getting your goals stated... either out loud or written down for your own organization. Thank goodness it's also a good day to nail people down and make them listen to you talk about yourself. Sunday you may want to consider that doing things for other people is rarely dependent on payback, but it's good to know which of your friends has your back in return, and which ones you just think do. There's a difference, and it's always good to know that.

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GEMINI:

If you won't get the hell out of the house and take new routes and see new scenery on Saturday, then the horoscope gods highly recommend that you poke your nose into new technologies or arguments you know nothing about. Get involved. Sunday be realistic and practical about how people perceive you; yes, you do need that shower. More importantly, you can extend that realism to job and career matters and get more motivation out of that reality bite.

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CANCER:

You know your own mind and your beliefs look like they're etched in stone to the rest of us, but Saturday, if something knocks your certainty over on it's ass, let it.

Sunday...not about you at all. It can be about anything...just not you.

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LEO:

Other people's conception of time, other people's opinions, and sometimes just the otheryness of other people can conflict with your idea of how time (and life) is managed. Patience is your friend on Saturday. Sunday, how much emphasis you want to put on the words of someone else is up to you, but if you don't like what you hear and they're just talking out of their ass, who gives a shit? Apparently you might, unnecessarily.

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VIRGO:

People only call it eccentric when they can't figure out exactly why you do things exactly the way you do things. You have your methods and reasons and the horoscope gods say if those methods work for you then to hell with extra curricular opinions on Saturday. Sunday you're probably going to have to deal with hypersensitive people, and if you don't allow for that, then you end up being hypersensitive and it gets all confuffled about peoples feelings and blah, blah, blah. In other words watch what you say, and if they're really nuts, keep a calm demeanor and speak slowly.

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LIBRA:

If you're trying to conform and be proper on Saturday, the horoscope gods say that's just a bad idea all the way around. Seek out weirdos and weirdness and you'll be just fine. Stupid, unnecessary worry could ruin a perfectly good Sunday and Monday too. Stick to overreacting to non worrisome things. Oh and bonus points for getting a pedicure. More bonus points for saying unreasonable things that sound stupid now, but turn out later to be eerily correct.

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SCORPIO:

You don't have to pretend to be just like everyone else on Saturday, and you'd be better off using your oddball weird way of looking at things as a strength. Libras will like you today. Children and stupid people are really confusing Sunday.... well, more than usual. Emotional restraint is probably a good idea, unless you have somewhere specific to put it, like if you're a Picasso or something.... also applies to Monday.

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SAGITTARIUS:

Spontaneous is all good and fun, but you might want to get your thoughts in order on Saturday and not just blurt out nervous talk all over the place. Breath in, breath out, then talk. That doesn't apply if you're writing something though. If that's the case, then let it flow, you can revise it later. Sunday is good for latching onto other people's plans and just following along for the ride. Wasting time at home doing a lot of nothing is also favourable.

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CAPRICORN:

Not being materialistic generally works for you, but doing things for purely materialistic reasons for other people's benefit on Saturday rates high on the likely-to-succeed scale. Sunday, structured thinking...not so good, letting your mind ramble and free range over any and every possibility and imagining..very good, particularly for long term benefits.

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AQUARIUS:

If you feel like people are pissing you off because they just don't get it, then it must be Saturday. You probably are being misunderstood, and it doesn't matter because due to the revolving nature of the planets and the trickery of the horoscope gods, Saturday will be done and gone soon enough and it'll be Sunday instead when you'd be better off keeping an eye on your money and, if you can, getting busy working with material goods.

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PISCES:

Self reliance on Saturday is your friend. Of course that means trusting your own decisions and judgements and the willingness to follow them through. Sunday, be picky about the people you socialize with today. Choosing not to socialize would be fitting with these aspects, but if you have to, or choose to be around diverse people, music will unwind you afterwards to just about right amount of unwindedness.

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