蓝星 bluestarstsl's blog

Loneliness

2016-11-20T23:30:00.001+08:00

Loneliness is something that will eat you alive.
Too much thought. Too much thinking.
Opted to walk away. But then was on hold.
I am just being too stupid. Seriously.
Starting to hate myself for all the torture that i put myself in.
Why.i.need.to.go.through.all.this.why

You are asking for some attention.
Why none of your friend can get it?
Nobody cares

Letting go

2016-10-31T00:17:00.001+08:00

MIA

2016-04-16T16:29:00.001+08:00

I have been mia for such a long time from my blog. I was july 2015 i last blogged. Seem like i have moved on from blogging. But when i am sad i still feel like blog it.
I dont know why i am emo for this 2 days. Maybe pms. Maybe its because of ortho posting.

Ppl keep saying how great about ortho when they were there. But i dont feel so.

Off on saturday seem like a bad choice. Maybe i am use to not having weekends. Feel lonely.

Ya... i guess this is how much i wanted to blog about. There are a lot things that can't be told. Wish that there is someone that can understand me like how i understand myself.

3rd posting

2015-07-03T21:54:00.001+08:00

No i haven't forget about this blog. I am not that busy either. Its just that blogging is not my thing now. Wanted to blog about my peads posting but keep delaying. Wanted to blog about my O&G posting and yet i have finish my O&G posting and haven't blog anything. Going to join my 3rd posting tomorrow which is medical. So much of uncertainties. Don't like the feelings. So blue. I wish i can keep rotting at home like past 4 days. Best feeling ever for not doing anything at all. So blue now. Sigh. Life. Living in my dream world for past 4 days makes me don't feel like going back to reality. The feeling is same as last time during medical school time after weekends and gonna go back to death city kinda feeling.
Please bless me for next 4 months.

Am so proud of myself

2014-12-17T21:40:00.001+08:00

I guess its getting better in housemanship. I am getting use to with the life now.

I am so proud of myself as i think i am getting some luck on branula. Finally i am able to set some after 1 months plus of no luck on branula. I set 3 branula straight today on neonate when some senior tried a few time and dont get it. It really need some luck with it. The most success archievement is setting it successfly in front of an senior mo who always the best in setting branula! I was having tremor and she tot i was squeezing the baby hand too hard. I just keep having thr adrenaline rush whenever i successfully set a branula and the hand just unintentionally tremor itself!

And another one is a new senior tagger actually tot i was the mo. This was told by my senior, Anu, the one that taught me a lot since first day of HOship. And she says she is proud of me! And that really satisfiying when i heard that compliment coming out from some one i admire so much.

Still i am still lack of sleep, craving for more off day, craving for good food because nowadays its too busy that i dont even feel like eating even when i am hungry. I eat just to feel up the stomach and prevent to get gastric in future but whatever i eat i just dont really enjoy it.

But a least i have something to hold on, to be stronger and motivated from what i am doing now.

Today is a great great day

2014-11-13T00:16:00.001+08:00

Having quite a good day today. Clerk 2 patients who got nnj. I am telling myself that i am improving everyday!

1 of the guard told me that I can park near pentadbir parking next time during evening so that i no need walk so far to the parking lot. Well i am just being polite to a person i meet daily especially during orientation week.

Then the guard at the parking lot told me that i can park at the specialist parking floor if there is space next time. I remember he did not let me park that level on my 2nd day of working and i am kinda pissed but then i realize that it is his job for not let me park there. So out of guilt i start to great him whenever i saw him. He is kinda old. Maybe 65-70 y/o and my dont know what concious will start to think that why he need to work in such an old age, so tiring from 7pm to 7am. Arent he suppose retired now bla bla bla. Ya i kinda hate myself of thinking so much of nonsense.

Today was not as busy as yesterday and not as hell as that. Round with the MO Dr C is kinda stress. I tot he is just an ho manatau he is actually senior mo. Yea whatever but i kinda dont like him. Some people you just dont like them without any reason. But most particulary is them being an asshole.

Always believe that tomorrow will be a good day and a brand new day. I am surviving housemanship!! And treat people the way you want them to treat you.

Talk with ho there and ask them about the posting in hosp melaka. They were saying actually peads is very much better compare to other department. I hope that i can survive this posting as well... then survive in other posting next time...

Babies in nursery still making me think that i should not give birth to a life and let them suffer in this world. Keep having the urge to adopt 1 but i know i am being emotional. How possible i take care of them with my current job, which dont have life at all, having to work am shift from 7am to 6pm and pm shift from 730am to 1030pm and this is just only the written shift system. Not even need to mention about oncalls. When a patient is in life threatening situation, do you really think you can leave sharp on time? Maybe you need to go to ot and what so ever and the procedure cause you few hours and we dont even have ot claim. Well... i am not complaining. I am just comparing and telling those who being unfair anf bias to most of the doctors...

I dont know whatsup with my subconcious and responsibility that keep me wake up in the morning and on the go with the life i am having now... saw siang post about him being stressed and those commenter who being in same situation like me actually make me feel much much better. He even took EL to runaway from his job. Wow that really suprise me!! A top student in school doesnt mean he will excel in working life. As what i told my mom that study life and working life is like totally different. Its like we never learn all this and we all statt from zero all over again. Even you are top in class doesnt mean you can function in work....

Getting back my urge to blog again. To record my daily life as a ho without accidentally spilt out the confidentiality of patients... its mostly about my own feeling and how well i psycho my own self and my mind and my split personality. I know i sound really psycho now and i should stop. I do hope that i can understand what am i talking when i read back next time! Till then... goodnight.

Surviving housemenship day 8

2014-11-12T00:10:00.001+08:00

Well. Who the hell always ask people to be a doctor?! Who the freaking hell?

Being a doctor and a medical student is totally a different thing. Well, this is just a very personal view of myself.

I am totally like an idiot for pass 8 days. I don't know am I the only one feeling like this or everyone who go through HO felt like this as well.

For the first few days, I dont know how to write a case review. I dont know how to manage a patient. I dont know how to fill in lab forms for investigation. I dont know how to write discharge form or memo or referal letter. Well, even medical school had taught us all this before but its totally 2 different things for working and doing Patient Management Diary!!! I dont know how to run to lab for stat investigation and i dont know how to go to x ray lab for asking stat x ray in ward. I mean i am totally like an idiot.

I dont know where they put those instrument like tubes lines needle bottle this that uncle aunty.

I dont know how to calculate total feeding for peads well thats my fault cause that was taught to us like 5 minutes out of 1 months of class and I cant remember it. I dont know how to calculate the photo level, exchange tranfusion and all the shit for neonatal jaundice. Oh and now management for neonatal hypoglycaemia and this particular station during final pro exam osce fonally make sense now wtf!!

I seriously sound like an idiot. And out of sudden a MO suddenly shouted at me asking me did I know how to prepare for UVC? OF COURSE I SAY I DONT KNOW. Then she started saying: you dont know and you still dont want to learn? If next time i ask you to prepare uvc and you dont know how to prepare i will ask you start tagging back even you already off tag. Errrr... what????? Did I not want to learn? I did learn what to prepare when a few HO is discussing what to prepare and I was away because I went to take a mask because i wanna see they do the procedure!!! Being blame for what I did not do is so unacceptable! I am damn prepare to get scold if I did something wrong but not for things I did not do!!! Such a bitch!

Of course, day 8 now with 2 days off previously, not a good thing though cause i need to work until next friday to get off, which i need to work for next 11 days to get a pathetic 1 day off! Ya back to previous sentence, day 8 now and i finally know how to properly review a patient. Know how to do discharge form and memo and referal and know where the hell is x ray and patho lab, know how to prepare fucking shit procedure. I am sorry that i curse a lot on this post because i seriously need it!

And today! I am damn proud of myself for sucessfully did a sterile procedure, taking blood c&s from a freaking neonate!!! Thank you very much for the HO who helped and supported me. Esp Anu who endlessly being patience with me and teach me so much! She is always being so kind and willingly to teach anything. Then Koo who did not really communicate with me for pass few days, helped me prepare the things for c&s and tell me jia you har. Nearly give up after 1st try but then i tell myself that i should not give up so quickly. So i tried again and i dont know how but i get it! And Mesan who i felt she was arrogant at first is so willing to help me as well. Almost all of the HO are so helpful and being so patience with me. I am not sure if i myself have that level of toleration. They inspired me to become a better person. To be patience to others.

Wanted to cried whole day because of the freaking bitch who scolded me for things i didnt do. And today is like a shit day for me and feel like i am an idiot who dont know anything.

Hopefully someday later when i read back this post, i will feel myself as an idiot who did not know anything as well and i will laugh as such stupidity of me.

And to those who keep saying doctor is glamorous, rich, like to earn ppl money for nothing, such a money minded etc etc etc I will freaking slap their face! As they didnt see how we work like hell, even worst than a slave. No time to pee!!! What more about eat. No time for lunch or dinner! No time to sleep!!

Every morning i have to wake up at 6am and i wonder why i want to wake up as well. Because of the fucking self concious and responsibility in myself that make me sit up, walk into the bathroom and continue the rest of the day. Then work like hell and go through shit and came back at freaking hour like 11pm or 12 midnight and tired like what i dont know how to describe.

Now the cycle is like work-eat-sleep and the cycle repeat. I have no life.

I used to dont like sleep so much as i always will tell myself that wht need to sleep so much? We have so much time to sleep when we are dead so we should enjoy the life we have. well... some of these morning actually make me feel like dying and not wake up anymore because i can sleep like forever... well... thats the depressed part of me. I am actually torn in between... to be good or to be bad... and seeing sick ppl everyday is depressing as well. Seeing all the babies that suffer everday makes me dont feel like giving birth. Why bring them to this life and suffer? Maybe this is the hell we always thought of. We are living in hell and we dont realize it. This is the freaking dark side of me, and my angel will try to balance it back to normal.

I just hope that all this thing will be worth it... i hope i will laugh at myself for being so stupid and childish when i see back this, maybe few months or few years time.

So i need to sleep it off, forget everything and start a brand new day again tomorrow... i wish i can be better than the day before.

Goodnight!

today has been such a dark day

2014-03-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

I just get to know that my grandma has just passed away......
Was on Skype 2 hours ago and mom says she and my dad might be going back to Sitiawan next week to visit her... Yet things happened.

I have no regret at all. At least I spend time and had a great time with her for past 2 years.

During last CNY, we roughly celebrate at all as she suffered from dementia. Then later found out that she suffered from ovarian cancer as she has sudden loss of weight.

Has been staying with her during my Pediatrics posting in Hospital Manjung for 4 months. Wasn't easy to stay with an elderly but I have make it. I have tried my best to be the best grandchild. I will bring her anywhere she wanted to go. I would say I treat her better than her child treated her. I am grateful that I went back to celebrate CNY with her every year, unlike some of her children.

The last time I saw her was during my 3 weeks holidays, roughly a month ago. My parents wanted to go back Sitiawan so I offer myself to drive them back. She was bedridden but she still recognise me. Sometime getting better, sometime worst.

In another way, I hope she go in peace with no suffer, especially having cancer at old age is just so suffering.
有时就是解脱。

And with the incidence of MH 370 flight, may everyone be safe.

MIVVA beauty box Christmas Edition

2014-01-28T21:13:00.001+08:00

It is really sad to hear that MIVVA is going to stop it's beauty box and focus more on their online store. MIVVA is really the best beauty box compare to other which is available in the market currently. MIVVA beauty box Christmas Edition is going to be the last box for 2013.

I have deleted all the photos taken in my phone so I get all the photos from MIVVA website.

As you can see from photo above, Christmas edition box is so FULL!

Neuzell Oxyvene Bubble Cleanser 10ml

RM 89.90 for 100ml

I am using this currently as cleanser at night. My bottle has some pump problem but it's not a big deal. It is good as it has bubble but doesn't cause dryness to the face after using it. It is also effective on acne-prone skin.

URIAGE Gyn-Phy Feminine Wash

RM 24,90 for 200ml

No this is not a facial cleanser but a feminine wash!! hahaha! Luckily Fiona remind me before I used it. It is very gentle and the scent is acceptable. I got a 50ml from MIVVA box and I think it is totally sufficient for me to use one whole year! It only need pea-size amount for that area.

Redflo Hair Shampoo
RM 69.90 for 750ml

I get 2 sachets in my beauty box and this shampoo helps restore brittle, dull or dry hair. Everyone must have their hair problem and this shampoo helps to make hair more stronger and smoother.

Beautymate Cherry Blossom 2-in-1 Baby Skin Ultra Moisture Barrier Mask + Natural Care Moisturizing Peeling Gel
RM 9.90 for 1 piece mask & 2ml Peeling Gel

I have used the moisture barrier mask and I nearly throw away because I did not read about the peeling gel, luckily I read it before I throw it away. My face feel so moist after using it. Haven't use the feeling gel but I'll use it tonight!

Secretleaf Men Original Face Wash
RM 15.90 for 95ml

This is the first time we received a men's product. I gave it to my brother hopping he will give a good comment about it.

Miacare Acne Patch
RM 9.50 - RM 13.70

I have tried this product long before MIVVA box give us this sample. I would say it is effective on acne which is 'rippen', not for those which is too big.

SHAIRE LONDON Silk Classic COllection Hair Perfume (Dry Shampoo)
RM 35.90 for 60 ml

Although this is not the first time I heard about dry shampoo but it is the first time I am using it. I am so not use to it although it does make the hair feel fresh and clean, but I just need to wash my hair everyday. It is good to spray it on before leaving the house to make the hair look fresh.

Posh Foot & Body Lotion
RM 129 for 250ml

I have too many lotion to use after subscribing MIVVA box! It moisture and hydrate my skin very well.

Lastly, a loofah again from MIVVA box. Love it so much. and a mystery gift, which is a pair of earring but... I don't pierce my earlobe so I gave it to my sister.

Time passes so fast. I remember I subscribed first MIVVA box during Chinese New Year and now... MIVVA box going to ceased out... kinda sad... However, I enjoy very much during this year and get to know a lot different products and brands from MIVVA box. I truly wish them all the best!

Reflection

2014-01-26T00:24:00.000+08:00

现在的孩子，真败家。

Was in Adidas shop today as my brother wanted to buy a sport shoes. Here came a father and a teenage son. The son was asking to buy an ipod thingy which cost around RM 100+ and the father was saying 'i don't have money!'. It was quite loud and my mom and I turn unintentionally and I think the father was embarrassed. I regretted that I turn and see.

At last, the teenager get what he wanted. I did not see his father anywhere nearby... How come a child can't understand their parents bitterness? I will be so sad to be the father.

Well, the same thing happened to my brother as well. He wanted to buy a sport shoes and I tell him find a shoes that not more than RM 200. There are sales everywhere and you can easily get a sport shoes under Adidas or Nike just less than RM 200. But after looking around, he wants some shoes that is much more expensive. So I tell him either get it or leave it.

Then he started make sour face. Then my mom came and help him to find. I told my mom, just give him RM 250 and let him buy himself. If it exceed the budget then he just has to pay himself.

End up he got an Adidas worth RM 360! Wtf. Just because of his sour face? Seriously I was pissed... Like for 5 minutes. Mom was complaining how he spend but end up letting him spent as he like... How to teach if my mom behaving like that. I can't say anything because she is my mom and she got her own way of teaching. But if I were her, I will just give the amount that I think is appropriate and you just have to pay yourself if it exceed the budget. Seriously, you can just get a Bata sport shoes instead!

Teenager nowadays is so branded minded! I seriously was really afraid of these kind of people. My brother was asking for a Macbook Air, Ipad, new phone. Some times I just feel like give a slap on his face. How come he can't empathy my parents?

I am brand minded as well but I know I am not working and I do not earn any money yet so I don't ask for luxury things from my parents! If I want to buy something, I will pay with my savings. I bought my own phone when I work part time. If I want bags or cosmetics or skin care, I use my own saving money as well. I don't really ask extra money for things I want... I won an Ipad. If not, I never thought of owning one at all! I have all the money for beautybox is because I get monthly incentive from Themalaysiastreet.

Everytime I see these things, I'll reflect on myself and remind myself not to be someone like them. Can't they see the living cost is rising and parents are barely trying very hard to support a family, support their child to college or university, trying to pay insurance. Ending up how much they can save for a month to backup for emergencies like illness or accident?

Seriously, please, think! Be wise! Be understanding.

Sometimes I hate myself for being so understanding. Why can't I be 败家 as well?

MBBS Final Professional Examination Part 1

2014-01-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

As the title above, I PASSED!

Nobody will ever know how it feels! I have go through so much for this. Nobody will understand how I feel day before exam, during exam and right before the result was announced!

We just finish our last paper today. Result was suppose to come out tomorrow. However, at 3pm, our batch leader suddenly ask us to come back to college because result will be announced at 4pm!!! I was so not prepared for that. I think I have panic attack.

I have phobia. It was all like 3 years back again, when I failed my first Professional exam, where I was left alone. Then I climb up myself. Did I ever thought of give up? Yes! Definitely! And the person who always stay beside me are my parents. Today is the day I repay them and myself. Nobody ever go through what I went through. Nobody know how deep I fall. I am lucky that I am able to climb up back, prove that I can do it.

Until I heard my matrix number being call out. It was such a relief. I wasn't confident at all. Of course I hope I passed but you will never know until it really happened.

Thank you very much for everyone who assist me along the journey. Thank you to my discussion group that really help me during discussion. I am sure I will not make it if I did not join the discussion group. I am glad that my housemate and I passed the exam all together. Even though we have argument and disagreement, we are still friends.

Coincidentally, we all wear green!!! We never planned it and did not even realize it until our batchmate point it out! Glad that we all passed! They sit beside me just like the arrangement you see in the photo. My name was called first. It was such a relief with palpitation. Then Wana's name was called, she broked down and cry on my shoulder. 3 minutes later, Deep's name was called and she also cry and hugged me. Then both of them was like crying and hugging me and Mr Hazem, our Surgery lecturer saw and he smiled......

There are a few who did not pass and I hope that they will passed their resit paper. I totally understand that because I have gone through it... Hope to see them in Sem 10.

Finally, I have 3 weeks holidays and finally I am able to celebrate Chinese New Year for 15 days straight!!!!!!

13-14

2014-01-01T22:31:00.001+08:00

I am surprised that I did not blog on last day of 2013.

2013 had been very good to me, yet I still have ups and downs. I would like to conclude that it has more ups than downs...

First day of 2014, start off with ups and downs too. A lot choice to choose today.... To be happy or sad, to go or not to go, to be or not to be.

2014 will be a very important year for me. I don't do resolution because I don't believe in it. But this year, I wish I am able to graduate on June. More important, to pass my Professional Exam Part 1 in this coming 16th January. 2014, please be good on me. Let me pass then celebrate CNY like nobody business please. Then let me pass Professional Exam Part 2 in June. I really need this!

Today was a great day. I get to spent time with my friends, which more like family than friend. I am blessed to know Mei and her families and we are like family. Her brother, Shawn, cook all this for us! As if we won't be able to eat this again!

And my love! They are really special to me! I actually wish she is my daughter.

Really miss the time we had especially our trip before their graduation.

Bag of Love-Go, Girl, Go! November Edition

2013-11-23T22:42:00.001+08:00

This is the second time I subscribed Bag of Love. They always attracted me to subscribed their bag with teaser and hints in their facebook. I am not really a fans of bag but this time, I subscribed it because they announced that there will be a Panasonic product in the bag. I search in Panasonic website for possible item to include in the bag. My wild guess will be tweezer, eyelashes curler or electronic toothbrush.

At first I thought most probably it will be eyelashes curler because it is closer to a beauty item. Guess what's inside the bag?!

It is a electronic toothbrush!!!!! I was thrill when I saw this!!! My sister is studying dental now and she keep emphasize how good is a electronic toothbrush. She actually bought one herself!

I would say Bag of Love is becoming more and more impressive for me. I always keep an eye on their facebook and wait for their teaser. I admit it is really fun and exciting!

Panasonic Pocket Doltz Toothbrush (FULL SIZE)
RM 99

This is totally worth it for every penny I spent on this month bag! As I say above I was thrill to see this. I never thought I will get a electronic toothbrush and I can't wait to try it out! The down side is that it need battery to work. I would prefer the one which is chargeable one but never mind! I am still very hype up to get this and I don't care what other product I am going to get in the bag!!

Updates: I just found out there is various colour for this electronic toothbrush including black and orange! Well... I am damn happy to get silver colour!!! Not a fans of orange colour and black don't look good on the toothbrush as well! hahaha...

Clarins Double Serum
RM 280 for 30ml

I used to work in Clarins during my holidays so I know how good Clarins products are. They included 7 days trial of serum and also a little secret after the last pack. There is a redemption card at the back where we can get free skin consultation and also 2 pieces of gift set worth RM 60.

Elizabeth Arden Red Door Aura EDT
RM 275 for 100ml

It is a sample vial and a voucher for coming Christmas set. I am really particular in perfume and this have floral and woody scent as the same time.

Dove Hair Therapy Hair Fall Rescue Shampoo (FULL SIZE)
RM 4.40 for 90ml
Dove Hair Therapy Hair Fall Rescue Conditioner (FULL SIZE)
RM 4.40 for 80ml

My biggest problem for hair is hair fall. I am so happy to get this 2 products as I have never tried their shampoo range before. I only use Dove body bath before. My hair fall problem is really the biggest headache. My hair fall every second and minutes. Luckily I have thick hair gene so my hair is still very thick despite my serious hair fall problem and I have tonnes of baby hair.

Lastly, a full size of Olay Regenerist Revitalising Serum for 50ml from which I won from the contest organised by Bag of Love!

I do think the did a great job in having contest and interacting their subscribers. I am really attract to this found out we get updates and teaser from their facebook. It is very interesting to see how they interact. They have contest every month after sending out that month's bag. The products for giveaway usually related to the product in last bag, which from a sample size product, you may have the chance to get a full size product.

I started to like Bag of Love very much. There is possibility I might start subscribe Bag of Love constantly in future. They have 3 full sizes products this month including a electronic toothbrush worth RM 99!!! How rare for a beauty bag to do this with only RM 39.90 for a month subscription! Although subscribing a beauty box/bag is not about full size, but who don't want full size product?!

p/s: whoever want the Levi's bag or missed this month's bag may ask from me. I don't think I'll use the bag. Just that you need to bare the postage fee. I'll give it to you for free!

MIVVA beauty box November 2013 Edition- BFF sleepover kit

2013-11-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

MIVVA box has been very impressive so far. I have subscribed since last February without missing any month. This month's theme will be BFF sleepover kit.

There are 5 items in this month's box and MIVVA has back to their signature--a little surprise gift this month.

Product included:

Antipodes Joyful Hand & Body Cream

Neula 5 in 1 Oil Control Face Lotion (FULL SIZE)

Facial Essence Collagen Mask (FULL SIZE)

Stage Nail Colour (FULL SIZE)

ONL Dermost Moistay Cream

Antipodes Joyful Hand & Body Cream

RM 149 for 120ml

Antipodes cream has been very good actually. It does not have sticky feeling after applying it like any other hand and body cream product. I like it very much as I don't like product that make my hands feel sticky after applying it. It also has a pleasant smell and rich texture. They also included a RM 20 gift voucher for Antipodes products.

Neula 5 in 1 Oil Control Face Lotion (FULL SIZE)

RM 22.90 for 30ml

I wasn't expecting this as few days before MIVVA post out the beauty box, they had a teaser on their facebook and instagram. From the photo, obviously there will be a tube cleanser and I was expecting that. I am very happy to received the face lotion instead of cleanser. I have lots of cleanser waiting me to use it up.

I tried this product soon after I received it as it claims to give moisturize without greasiness. 5 in 1 as in anti-pimple, oil control, pores minimizer, rejuvenate and soothes. Pimples, pores and oily face are always my main concern as I have combination skin type. My face tends to get oily very frequent.

Out of my surprise, after using it for 1 week, I found that it is very effective, especially in day time. I experiment it in a week. Every morning after face wash and routine skin care, I'll apply Neula Oil Control Face Lotion before sunscreen. Then I'll apply my make up. Usually my make up only last until noon, which is around 12pm and it started to melt and I will feel oiliness on my face, even though I am using a foundation claimed to be matte for 24 hours. After using this face lotion, my make up will hold up to 3-4pm. My face don't oiled up so fast now. I am so happy!!

I'll definitely buy this product myself after I finished up this bottle. It is so affordable as it is only RM 22.90 and it is effective. I do wish their BB cream have the same effect as well.

Facial Essence Collagen Mask (FULL SIZE)

RM 198.80 for 8 sheets

Honestly, I have never heard of this brand before. I used it on the day I received it. I think it just have the same effect as any other mask. I do feel a bit expensive for a collagen mask.

Stage Nail Colour (FULL SIZE)

RM 35 for 11ml

I got the nail colour No. 12 which was the same as what I bought from Stage a year back. Such a coincident that MIVVA gave me the same colour. My old one has dried up and it just arrived at the right time! I like the colour and intensity but I wish it can dry up faster.

ONL Dermost Moistay Cream

RM 144.90 for 60ml

ONL Dermost Moistay Fresh Gel Cream

RM 144.90 for 60ml

I haven't try on this and hopefully it is suitable for my skin type. Hope that it won't become oily after I use it. I might try Gel Cream first as it is more suitable for my oily skin.

And finally, the little gift from MIVVA team! They included a bath loofah, which I wanted to buy for quite some time yet I am lazy to get it. So happy cause they are like mind reader and know what I need at the right time. That is why I like MIVVA the most compare to any other beauty box/bag.

Sometimes I do thought of trying other beauty box and stop subscribing MIVVA box because I am still a student and have limited fund for extra stuff. So I sometime fall into dilemma in choosing which to subscribe. However, I still think MIVVA is the best. Seem like they have less interaction in facebook with their subscribers. I do wish if they announce when they deliver their parcel so that I am able to expect when the parcel reach my home. I also do wish to have some teaser or mystery hint of product included in the box before they send it out. This is just my little suggestion of making the beauty box better than others.

If you want to subscribe a box for yourself or your bff

Go to this link : http://www.mivva.com/join/88b42e5001e9
Invitation code: DiscoverMIVVA
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/MIVVAcom

Gift ByJap

2013-11-23T21:22:00.002+08:00

Currently I am 2nd week of Surgery posting. Life has been hectic and professional exam is near. I am kinda stress yes my life is great!!

I won a giveaway from Byjap!!!!!!!

How it actually happened?

The giveaway was in instagram. I saw it accidentally so I just join the contest. Very simple. Just repost the photo on instagram and hashtag them!! Without any hope, I forgot about the giveaway... 1 week later, they tag me in instragram telling me I won the giveaway!

yoooo.... dancing around!

Then I receive their parcel about 1 week later. Out of my surprise, they included 3 gifts in the 'mystery pack'!!! My earliest Christmas gift and they include the accessories I like! I like the accessories they sell. It is so affordable and cheaper compare to other seller.

I have personally bought 2 sunnies for myself and a clutch for my friend as her birthday present! Coincidentally, it was last year around this time!!!

There is up and down in life. I'll choose to remember the happy ones.

byjap website
byjap facebook
bjyap instagram

2013-11-23T21:02:00.001+08:00

Currently I am 2nd week of Surgery posting. Life has been hectic and professional exam is near. I am kinda stress yes my life is great!!

I won a giveaway from Byjap!!!!!!!

How it actually happened?

I

emo

2013-10-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

yes, i am emo now. maybe its the weather because it rains or maybe its because i haven't been home for 2 weeks, well, less than 2 weeks.
mom phone me this afternoon and says my grandpa admitted into hospital due to TB. they are rushing back to Perak to visit him.

why the hell so many down recently? just because life has ups and downs so it must just go down? damn it!

pro exam in less than 3 months and i keep avoiding and escaping from reality... i just don't do well when i am stress. trying to forget everything...

life, why can't you be easier?

MIVVA beauty box October 2013 Edition- Snow White

2013-10-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

Mirror mirror on my hand, who is the fairest in the land?

This month MIVVA beauty box theme is 'Snow White'. However, I do find this month content is the most bored among all these months that I have subscribed. Honestly, I do feel disappointed. Because it seem like they are just being careless of this month's items.

There are 5 items in the box. There is no special gift from MIVVA team this month unlike previous month, they don't fail to give a little surprise from themselves and not included in the product description.

Product included:
Beautymate Birdnests & Lilium Candidum Firming Rejuvenate Nano Mask (FULL SIZE)
Hydra 24 Creacked Heel Cream
Unico Pearl Scar Cream
Secretleaf Argan Hydrating Cleanser (FULL SIZE)
ONL Ecopure White Balance Skin Toner and Emulsion

Beautymate Birdnests & Lilium Candidum Firming Rejuvenate Nano Mask (FULL SIZE)
RM 49.90 for 7pcs

3rd mask from Beautymate in MIVVA box. It is very moisturizing and feel so soft after using it.

Hydra 24 Cracked Heel Cream
RM 23.90 for 50g

Lucky me that I don't have cracked heel. I will give this to whoever who wants it!

Unico Pearl Scar Cream
RM 198.80 for 15g

I am actually very happy to get this scar cream. But I don't know how to use it because there is no instruction on using it. Should it be use as skin care or make up? Because of the texture, the skin tend to become very white after using it. Kinda like foundation instead. It feel weird to use as skin care. So... I haven't use it because I don't know how to use.

Secretleaf Argan Hydrating Cleanser (FULL SIZE)
RM 21.90 for 95ml

I like this full size cleanser! I got the Secretleaf Pure Oil Series 01 in MIVVA beauty box March 2013 edition and finish the whole bottle of cleanser last month! So great to have this. This is why I like MIVVA beauty box. They seem like know what I need.

ONL Ecopure White Balance Skin Toner and Emulsion
RM 89.90 for 120 ml
ONL Oceaniq 3d Antiwrinkle Total Solution CC
RM 149.90 for 35 ml

Lastly, another Ecopure product.

This month's MIVVA box is a little disappointing. I think they need to keep it up since there is more and more other beauty box and beauty bags around. Introduce more interesting product and decrease the frequency of keep repeating same brand again and again. They lost their signature this month of giving extra gift in their box like previously. They keep advertise about the ePure Jelly Mask in their facebook but they didn't include it in this month box so it's kinda contraindicate a bit for me. They should give us try then we might buy it from their sales last week. After all, they are still my top choice of subscribing a beauty box because of the full size products included in the beauty box.

If you want to subscribe a box for yourself or your bff

Go to this link : http://www.mivva.com/join/88b42e5001e9
Invitation code: DiscoverMIVVA
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/MIVVAcom

September birthday girl celebration

2013-10-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

I celebrated my birthday with my Melaka friends on the end of September. They actually treat me and Jl as both of us are September birthday girl. Since I am craving for Korean Food so I say I wanted to eat it and they decided to go to Daorae.

Daorae is not so stingy about their side dishes. They will just top up whenever we ask for it and doesn't really count how many they gave us unlike some other restaurant. We enjoy really much. So full after having it! Thank you very much to my friends who treat us this great meal! @christine + jeslyn + lichen

Group photo is so outdated so we take video instead!

#oodt

Skull Printed Top 6thSense / Stylenanda inspired oversize jeans short Sweet Grocery / mom's vintage Bonia bag/ Accessories DIY

*all above is non-sponsor item

Bag of Love - 'Take Me There' September Edition Review

2013-10-16T21:45:00.001+08:00

I have always wanted to try other beauty box/ beauty bag from other source than MIVVA. I wanted to subscribed the Bag of Love for quite some time but due to the bag, I gave up for a few months. Sometimes they tend to give pink bag, I am not a pink person. So I will avoid pink as much as I can, even a lot girls love pink.

Finally in September, Mimi, the person in charge of Bag of Love, give a preview of the bag through facebook. I love the bag so much that I just skip the part she gave sneak peak of that month's product and subscribed it right away. It's just a transparent bag. But the design is just too pretty. I like how they design it like an old envelop with stamp on it.

So without much expectation, the outcome always nearly became a surprise. These are the content in the bag!

CK Eternity Aqua Women Rollerball EDP, 6ml RM 49

This is such a 'wow'! I didn't expect this. Mimi posted it few days later and I was quite surprise. This packaging is not for sale in Malaysia. I started to like the scent! So small and light that I just throw into my bag and roll it whenever I feel like using it.

Swiss line Force Vitale Aqua Vitale Cream, 50ml RM 368

I would say I love this cream so much. The scent is quite strong but I seem to have no problem with it. Te packaging is so elegant even thought it is just a sample size. Quite a large amount inside the container. I am using it right now as moisturiser and I like it.

O'slee Roseship Beauty Solution Advance Formula III, 100ml RM 59.90

I think they have change the packaging. I received one of it and the bottle is not as translucent as this one. I just use it as toner. I don't quite like the rosy smell.

Olay Regenerist Serum, 50ml RM 49.90

I like they pack the sample into tube size instead of sachet. I read somewhere before that women should start use anti-ageing product after 25 years old. I am currently 25 so I should start invest some skin care product on anti-ageing. :(

RVB Skinlab Diego Dalla Palma Cell Detoxium Purifying Clay Mask, 1 sachet RM 29.90

This remind me so much of Kiehl's Deep Pore Cleansing Masque. The difference between them is the consistency and texture. RVB Skinlab clay mask seem like more watery and light. It dry off in around 10 minutes but doesn't harden, just became dry. You don't feel the tightness on the face like Kiehl's clay mask.
I just wash it off after 10 minutes and I wet it, massage only then I wash off. Skin feel so clean after that. I can use 2 times for a sachet.

NUXE Hulle Prodigieuse Shimmer Multi-Purpose Dry Oil, 100ml RM 198

I am quite surprise with this because I didn't know about this product before. I have a friend using the one without shimmer and she says it is a good product. According to the instruction, this multi-purpose oil can be use on face, hands and legs! I am not so sure how to use it so I'll find some tutorial or review so that I can use it. But... I hate the smell so much. It smell so weird. Maybe is due to the oil

Overall, I like Bag of Love very much!! I do feel like subscribing Bag of Love instead. Even though not much full size products, but all of the sample are in tube of bottle form giving an illusion of full size product. I actually though the Swiss and Nuxe seem like a full size, or regular size due to the packaging. I don't really like sachet, however the clay mask is actually consider as a full size. Not forgetting there is perfume as well!

They have just release October sneak peak and there is a CC cream, full size and a brush!! I am in dilemma now!

Bag of Love website
Bag of Love Facebook
RM 39.90 for monthly
RM 119.70 + mystery gift for 3 months
RM 478.80 + free 1 month for 12 months

Something good

2013-09-27T23:27:00.001+08:00

Even though I had accident during my birthday, quite a bad luck for the past few weeks, I still have good things happened around me!

First, even though I had an accident during my birthday, I still have my family member around and be with me. I think that's the most important things for me. My mom purposely go and bought a cake for me, which actually her favorite cake a day before! hahaha! She also cook a bowl of mee sua and 2 eggs as chinese tradition that we have to eat that on birthday as a prosperity and longevity. Then, we had dinner with my uncle who has the same birth date as me.

Thank you so much to my mother and godmother who gave me angpau and my godmother who purposely bought a dress from Singapore for me! Didn't put make up at all for all the photo I took that day after the shit accident but I actually look great! Maybe because it's full of love!

Second, my best friend, Likthing has purposely organise a small belated birthday celebration for me with her family. We suppose to celebrate it during my birthday that day but I wanted to go back Melaka instead. So during the next weekend after my birthday, she is back to Melaka and ask me go over her house for steamboat with her mom and her boyfriend. I knew she wanted to make it as my birthday celebration but I didn't expect she actually bought a cake for me, sang me a birthday song and ask me to make a wish before blowing the candle. I was quite surprise and I am really appreciate it.

Lastly, I take part in http://www.street-love.net/ giveaway and I actually won the prize! I decided to collect the prize from Fiona, the blogger of Streetlove in person, instead of asking her to post it to me because I remember once she says that she like active reader and not follow her blog just for giveaway. I love her honestly when she review a product and not bias when she review a sponsored product.

I was actually all the way from Melaka and I am worry if I will be late from the time I promise to reach at her place. Luckily everything went smoothly as I am able to take my repaired car in time. I was quite nervous on the way meeting her. Because she is a beauty blogger and this is the first time I meet her in person! I think she read my blog that's why she knows about my accident. She is so caring and kind as she actually ask about me and the condition of my car. I was really careless cause I forgot to take a picture together with her! She is so kind to me as she added something extra for my birthday!! Even thought it is a little thing but the meaning is so great! I appreciate it very much. Such a great pleasure to meet her in person!

My life wasn't that bad at all! Think positive, be positive. Something good......

MIVVA Beauty Box September 2013 Edition-Glow Gizmo

2013-09-20T16:41:00.000+08:00

This month MIVVA box was sent out slightly late. I am a little upset because they didn't announce it on facebook until I asked them personally. I would prefer it they announce it early of the month so I will not have to expect and search for the parcel. Since they will send out every first Monday of the month, I actually anticipated for if since Monday and waited for my parcel on Tuesday and Wednesday yet it did not reach my doorstep. Because I don't want to blow off the surprise of the content I will not search it on instagram with hashtag #MIVVA. But I broke the record for the first time and found out that seem like nobody receive it so I decided to private message them.

Well, actually the reason they gave for delayed sending the box is very acceptable because this month is quite a personalized box. It will be better if they can announced it earlier and before the customer ask them. I'll let you know why later.

Around mid August, MIVVA ask me to fill in a simple survey form for contact lens so yes! this month there is a contact lens for all the MIVVA subscriber. That's the reason why it was send late for the MIVVA box because each and everyone power and colour preference is different so I do understand it take some times to put in different colour and powered lens for all the customer and need to double check the items!

This month's theme-Glow Gizmo
Honestly, I have no idea what's 'Gizmo' so I wiki it and found out there is 3 difference categories for it-technology, entertainment and friction. So lets focus just on 'Glow'.

This month's box has too many sachet. But I don't mind cause there are a few item which I like a lot!
Here is the products description.

Products included:
Beautymate Purifying and Brightening Nano Mask (FULL SIZE)
Somang Danahan Bon Yeon Jin Toner & Emulsion
Somang Air-Bliss BB SPF 30/PA
Somang Ecopure Perfect White Sun Cream SPF 50+ PA+++
Asience Shine Therapy Shampoo & Conditioner
Asience Nature Smooth Shampoo & Conditioner
Igel Lenses Miacare Monthly (FULL SIZE)
Arty Professional Mania Face Colour F8 (FULL SIZE)

Beautymate Purifying and Brightening Nano Mask (FULL SIZE)
RM 36.90 for 7pcs

I received the same brand of mask in July MIVVA box but it's a different range. Last time was a hydrating mask and this time is a brightening mask. I am quite confident with Beautymate product because I have used nearly the whole range since I subscribed MIVVA box and I can say it is quite a affordable and good product.

Somang Danahan Bon Yeon Jin Toner & Emulsion
Toner RM 174.90 for 160ml
Emulsion RM 174.90 for 160ml

I am quite excited to received this product but I have some breakout after using it. Maybe it is not so suitable for combination-oily skin.

Somang Air-Bliss BB SPF 30/PA
RM 94.90 for 50ml

I am not a fans of BB cream because I always feel the shade is not right for me, either too light colour which make my face appear too white and appear very obvious that I am using BB cream or too dark which the colour look oxidize. I still have a little phobia to apply BB cream because usually I'll remove it after applying on the face which make me look weird. I still prefer a foundation.

Somang Ecopure Perfect White Sun Cream SPF 50+ PA+++
RM 89.90 for 50ml

Of course high SPF sunscreen is a bit plus for a lot of the women but I always have problem with the oiliness few hour after applying it.

Asience Shine Therapy Shampoo & Conditioner
Shampoo RM 14.90 for 220ml, RM 26.80 for 530ml
Conditioner RM 14.90 for 220ml, RM 26.80 for 530ml

Asience Nature Smooth Shampoo & Conditioner
Shampoo RM 14.90 for 220ml, RM 26.80 for 530ml
Conditioner RM 14.90 for 220ml, RM 26.80 for 530ml

I honestly love this product! I used the Shine Therapy first and it really make my hair shine and easily manageable. I can feel the difference immediately after I use the shampoo and before the conditional. No more hair tangle right after I rinse my hair. So smooth and silky. The effect gets better after the conditioner. Even after I tied my hair tightly, the tied mark is less too!

Igel Lenses Miacare Monthly (FULL SIZE)
Daily RM 128 for 30 piece, Monthly RM 138 for 6 piece

I am so happy to receive the contact lenses even though during the survey I filled in that I hope to received a grey colour one but I got the normal lens which I am totally fine with it. I saw a lot people making a big fuss about not getting the colour they wanted. Not only they gave us the contact lens, they also gave a solution with a lens container too! This only provided to the subscriber who get the lens without colour I think. They actually gave the power lens as what I wrote in the survey. How thoughtful was that! That's the main reason why they send out late for this month's box as each and every box is personalised for the customer.

Arty Professional Mania Face Colour F8 (FULL SIZE)

RM 45/shade

Finally I got some Arty Professional product! At first I thought it is a blusher, then later I found out that it is a face colour where you can use it as eyeshadow or as blusher. For me, it can also be as a highlight to make your face look more healthy with glow.

Lastly, every month MIVVA will personally provide a little gift from them and this month, there is a hand-held wooden mirror. So now you can ask the mirror: Mirror, mirror on the hand, who's the prettiest among all?

I still love MIVVA box the most! Not only they provide quite a few full size products, but they also interchange their product and introduce a number of new brand frequently. Of course not all the products are suitable for me like Somang and I like how the give the difference range of product from head to toe, like shampoo and conditioner for hair, face colour, bb cream and sun cream as make up, Somang product and Beautymate mask for skin care and even contact lens and solution for the eyes. MIVVA always has a reputation of good customer service for me and I think this time, they should inform their customer ahead about the delay before we actually ask about it. I believe everyone will understand the delay.

For me, MIVVA box is still the first choice for me in beautybox. I have continuously subscribed it since February and I think I will continue subscribe it as I did use almost all of the products they given for me to try.

If you want to subscribe a box for yourself or your bff

Go to MIVVA.com and key in MIVVA BeautyBox Invitation Code: DiscoverMIVVA
Use my referral like please: http://www.mivva.com/join/88b42e5001e9
Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/MIVVAcom

This September

2013-09-20T14:39:00.000+08:00

I used to love September but this year I really doubted it. Maybe because I didn't update my facebook status 'wake me up when September ends'. That's why I'm in hell.

On 1st September, I received a call from my house owner saying that she wants us to move out by the end of September. Our contract suppose to end next year June-July. Suddenly she ask us to move out because she was chased out by her tenant. wtf. So she suppose to chase us out like her tenant did to her?

So my housemate and I started to search for house around the area. Searching a house is totally a piece of shit. So many problem in between and currently I am not in a good relationship with one of the housemate. I guess the feeling just build up gradually and even though we are still in talking term, but we are quite sensitive in each other and sometimes do magnified everything little mistake we did.

I thought it will be good on my birthday but guess what? It's a total nightmare! Most unexpected thing happened! I get into an accident!! Who says you can't have bad things happened in your birthday? Well, not I bang into people but is people bang onto my car! wtf! Wanted to settle on the scene but the driver refuse. He wanted to report police so well, fine, go on. I am confident that I am right and if he reported as a police case, I will definitely claim his car insurance for repair!

Wasted 2 hours in the police station. Not that the police is insufficiency, they are quite kind in helping us. Is just that the accident is quite a minor one. So the police officer advise us to settle ourselves instead of report it. I say I am fine with that but the other driver wanted to make a police report so I can't do much. I can obviously see they are trying to help the other driver because surely he is wrong and they are the same race. I am totally fine with that.

But the driver called his dad, bla bla bla, my dad only asked RM 100 from him for the repair and call it off instead of making a report because the driver is a handicape. The driver insist he don't have money and want to make a report even the police says he will get a summons of RM 300.

Wasted whole day there and everything is settled around 7.30pm. Only then we went for dinner as my uncle having the same birthday as me and he would like to treat us dinner. Not really in the mood of celebration but the food is nice though.

Currently, 3 weeks later. I found a new house with my housemates. Bigger and better place compare to the old house. Better tenant as well. I'm going to freaking claim the guy insurance! Prepared all the documents needed and send my car for repair yesterday. So now I am well and healthy. I am still alive. I guess that's what really matter.

烦恼

2013-09-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

哭，是不能解决问题的。可是偏偏就是没办法再忍下去。
压力很大，不知道要跟谁说。
刚才跟妈妈通话时，差一点给予要跟妈妈说有关租房子的事。可是话到嘴边，眼泪又不知不觉地掉。我不想然妈妈知道，所以就什么都没说，强忍着泪。
我不知道这是什么考验。屋主突然间打电话说他要回他的房子，现我们要在两个星期内搬出。应该它的屋主要回屋子，所以就拿我们开刀。
怎样在一个月里找到另一个房子？还有一月就要靠大考，压力真的很大。一天到晚忙到要命下午才回到家，然后还要找房子，我已经快透不过气了。
我要怎样搬家？为什么我需要为这种费事而烦恼！

MIVVA Beauty Box August 2013 Edition-FLOWER POWER

2013-08-30T21:00:00.000+08:00

Has been abandon my blog for quite a long time, mainly because my laptop has broken down due to hard disc problem. Luckily it's still in warranty period so I no need pay a single cent!!

This has been a very late a blog about MIVVA blog. Usually I'll blog once I received it and be the spoiler. Not for this month. I still love MIVVA box as always and still subscribing it. Sometimes I do feel like trying other beauty box/bag but I have more confident in MIVVA box.

MIVVA box has never disappointed me once. I have been continuously subscribe it every month since February. Can't believe I have subscribed for freaking 6 months! Hopefully MIVVA will keep getting better.

Smell so flowery when open the beauty box!

All the brochure and voucher given to us!

Product description and pricing

Kinda got a shock when I saw this! haha... and I don't dare to eat the cookie at all I don't know why.

The flowery smell is all from this little packet of flora scent freshener.

I am quite happy to try this eye drops. I have been wearing contact lens and sometimes I have dry eye issue. This helps my eyes stay moisture at least 1-2 hours.

I am quite lucky to get this hand and body lotion. There are 3 different types of Di Palomo Orange Blossom range, other than the one i get, they also have moisturizing body wash and hand and nail cream randomly put into MIVVA box.

I definitely love this. Wanted to try Tsubaki but do not have the courage to bought it. Now I have a sample size for both shampoo and conditioner to try!

Honestly I haven't heard of this brand before. Gonna try it sook after I use the Dermedex!

What?! Dermedex?!! YES!!! MIVVA box gave a challenge pack that consist of cleanser and refining cream for us to try!!! I wanted to try this so much too! But due to the price, I was quite hold back. Going to try this out tomorrow!

That's all for this month's MIVVA box! Today is already the 30th of August! Can't wait for September!!! My favorite month of all!!!

If you want to subscribe a box for yourself or your bff

Go to this link : http://www.mivva.com/join/88b42e5001e9
Invitation code: DiscoverMIVVA
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/MIVVAcom