A Rover's Ramblings

Time to be honest

2022-10-17T19:52:00.000-04:00

I think I'm going through some sort of depression lately. Last night's blog post was me venting. But it's more than the career setbacks. It's being a single parent, who is for all intent and purpose part-time in that regard. Most every conversation I have with my ex regards money. Namely, her wanting me to go all in on everything, while she gets to spend her money on whatever she wants. For instance, Halloween is coming up, and there is no way I can afford to spend over $100 on costumes our kids will wear once. I get yelled at if I want to spend $5 at a bar. Yet it's OK for her to spend a small fortune on a new stereo system in her truck. I'm trying to keep a roof over my head as well. I'm basically required to have something big enough for myself and our three children. Which means, I have to pay every utility. I'd love to move into something small, and divest myself of a lot of things. But I have to have a large location. I live with nobody. I made that vow after 2018, when I had someone move in promising to help, and instead had a freeloader. The only way I'm moving anyone in is if I am dating them, we get engaged, and it's heading towards marriage.

Ah, but therein lies the catch-22. I'm going to be 43 next week, and my youngest child is 7. Most women my age have children older than my oldest (12), more than likely graduated high school, and quite possibly are grandmothers. Who wants to go back? Add in that I make just enough to keep a roof over my head while helping my children as much as I can. There's no help for divorced fathers out there, who had it done to them, instead of doing it to their ex-wife.

Yes, I had problems in my marriage, but a supposed friend drove a wedge between my wife and I, and I got dumped, kicked out, etc. I've had to scrape for everything the last six years. And therein lies why I want to move my career forward. I'm tired of scraping along. Oh yeah, most women, from what I've observed in my area, don't believe in marriage being equal. I do. And going back, I had a friend - well, ex-girlfriend - who was having problems in her relationship. I flat out told her, "I had it done to me as far as a friend saying to drop him. Honestly that is your decision. I'm not going to say anything one way or another. It is ultimately your decision what to do." It took her a couple of years before she finally made that decision to leave on her own.

My big fear with wanting to make changes to push myself forward is it affecting seeing my children. I could very easily move to a larger area and find tons of jobs that offer the kind of career advancement I am looking for. The cost would be too great, though. Then I will have abandoned them. And I'm not going to do that. So I will do what I can, even if it means taking on two jobs starting in January. I have a friend who told me she learned a lot of new skills, by taking on various jobs. That's great she could do that. I don't get any kind of support to have that luxury. All anybody looks at is I'm a household of one.

I swear I'm going to blog regularly one day. Maybe now.

2022-10-17T00:46:00.004-04:00

Maybe this is all old fashioned, since the world has moved on to visual media, like TikTok videos, Twitter videos, Instagram and Facebook reels, etc. I'm not quite wanting to do that. Plus, let's face it, I'm not anywhere near attractive looking. But I feel old fashioned, honestly. I remember a time, and I was raised believing, that if someone worked hard enough, learned as much as they could at a job, they could write their own ticket to success. I've worked for almost twenty-five years now. Shocking, I know. I've only had four jobs, meaning employers. I've spent around eighteen years at half of those, again splitting at around nine years at each job making up that half. Looking back at those two jobs, I'd have gotten a lot farther ahead if I'd kissed enough ass. I'm not an ass kisser. I believed - foolishly - that working hard, showing I could do the work, showing I could learn any job thrown at me, would get me far. Oh how foolish I was. How foolish my parents were raising me the way they did. No wonder my own children seem to be aiming low. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. My kids want to be singers and dancers, or cheerleaders. I've tried to say to have a backup plan, but so far I've not heard anything encouraging.

But I digress. At the two nine-year jobs, I knew I was good enough to move forward with both those companies. I recently read a comment on LinkedIn about toxic employees, and the first point the person made was to watch out for employees who've plateaued. And this got me thinking about my own career trajectory at both companies stalling. With the first one, it was a lack of opportunities unless I wanted to move. I wanted to move to Tallahassee at one point, since I knew that was where I could thrive. The best opportunity came along in 2006, when one location I was at was closing. I tried. I got sent back to BFE, GA, instead. They did a management reorganization, and I was looking forward to moving up into a newly created salaried position. I was kept hourly, and honestly, with the reorganization, I had less of a position. Nevermind that I knew my job, the newly created job, and the job location inside out, backwards, forwards, sideways, it was decided to keep me where I was at. I responded by leaving, and moving over 900 miles away. I very quickly duplicated my previous success, but wasn't going anywhere since it was a family owned operation. So, I moved on. Now, here is the story of my second nine-year job.

This was in a different field entirely. But, it paid better, and I was a first-time dad, so of course I jumped into it. I took it slow. I wanted to learn how to do the job first. Only then would I try to move up. It took a few years, but I went for a quality control position, when I knew I was ready. I thrived in that position. I knew one of the supervisors there was a QC inspector, so I thought, "Well, this is my path towards supervision." But then, something I was familiar with in my previous job - inventory control - opened up. I thought, "Eh, may as well try and go for it." And I got it! I thrived in that job, despite what one person higher up wanted me to do. I knew what worked, I knew how to investigate issues, I took everything thrown at me and crushed it. And then I saw a supervisor position was going to open up. I knew the procedure: they'd post it, there was a bidding process, then an interview process. I once again knew everything inside out, backwards, forwards, sideways. And... I learned on Facebook somebody got promoted to it. The usual process had not been followed. And it was announced not by the company, but on Facebook! Ass kissing at its finest.

A few months after that debacle, another supervisor position opened up. This time, it was announced the proper way. I put in for it. And I was told, "Well, so and so is already in the pipeline, so they're going to get it, but please, go for the soon-to-open third shift supervisor position." Fuck that! Besides, somebody was already de facto third shift supervisor designate, so I wasn't going to get it anyhow. In the interim, they'd also decided to add additional supervisors for both ends of the facility. I waited for those to be posted. Nope. They hired outside of the company. Finally, I think it was August 2019 that another position opened up. I bid on it. Nobody else did, both internally and externally. I was a lock! And then, upper management did everything in its power to bring back somebody. I didn't even get an interview. A few months later, I was downsized. My job was a pretty key position, but apparently they figured they needed to save $28,500 a year somehow, and let at least five people do the job. All those extra supervisors got let go as well.

Fast forward a year and a half. My current job was giving me an unwanted, unpaid two-month vacation. So I was looking for a job. Hey look, my previous job is looking for a supervisor! And I came to this job and proved I could be a team lead, and supervise if needed. Updated the resumé, and sent it in. I talked to those I worked with. I made it known I wanted it, I was qualified, and I still knew how to do the job I'd spent nine years working towards. I even took the bold step of messaging my old boss and letting him know I was ready to interview. He said, "Oh, we'll discuss on Monday." Monday came and went. But I knew they were busy. Finally, that Friday came, and I got a call from the last person they'd brought in instead of interviewing me, and he offered me... an operator position. It was, honestly, an insult, and I let him know what I'd put in for. More time goes by. I find out my old position was reinstated... and my old boss's daughter went into it! I saw the writing on the wall. I got the email saying, "We went in another direction." But, I found out they simply moved one of their supervisors around. So, I replied back, "I know your other shift needs a supervisor." I got an email back stating, in effect, "You must not have understood us. No." They hired back one of the supervisors they'd let go.

Let me tell you about how crushing that was to my self-esteem. The downsizing didn't necessarily hurt. Finding out the boss's underqualified daughter took my spot when it was reinstated was an insult. Being told no for a sixth time also hurt. This was no longer professional. This was personal. I reached out to my old QC boss, who was trying to get me in as a sinter tech, despite zero forklift training. (Long story short, the safety manager quickly qualified two others in my class once we'd passed the written exam, but never got to me.) They were offering forklift training. Again, no. An Outside Secondary Coordinator position opened up. In my previous Inventory Control job, I had picked up on a lot of those aspects. I went for it. I had the support of everyone in the office. Again, no. I didn't even get an email this time telling me no. However, a few weeks after everything died down and I'd resumed my job, I got an automated email from my old boss, wanting me to take some management psychology survey. I never found out the results, and I never found out why he'd sent that to me.

Getting back to the person saying watch out for those who have hit a career plateau, I never even got a chance to prove that I could do it. I knew how to do it. I still know how to do it. My career got plateaued for me. Even in my current job, there's no upward mobility at all. But it's just a temp job, and all indications are it's done in January. So, I am starting to look again. I am hoping that a supervisory role opens up. I'm entering my mid-40s. I'm due. I'm not saying this out of arrogance, but out of knowing. Somebody let me prove I can do this.

Back to work

2021-02-04T22:30:00.005-05:00

So, back in 1996, I decided to start writing a story. There was this girl at Wal-Mart around my age that was just stunningly beautiful to me. Me, being the awkward and sheltered 16-year-old that I was, was crushed to find out she had a boyfriend. So, back when I still had something of a vivid imagination, I began to write out a what if kind of story. Like, what would my life be like if only I'd gotten with this girl?

Fast forward to now, and believe it or not, I am just now finishing up that story. I mean yeah, I've worked on it, in spurts of a week or two every three months to three years. But, I really want to finish it. And I really want to write the five other stories that I have planned to follow it. I mean, it's taken me this long to finally find the confidence to do it. I mean Hell, it took me this long to finally start blogging on a regular basis again.

The (Lack of) Dating Game

2021-01-31T19:53:00.002-05:00

So, I saw a meme posted by a friend of mine earlier that had me thinking about why I'm single. The simplest reason, that I can think of, is because who in their right mind wants to date a 40-something father to three small children? Notice I asked, "who in their right mind," because trust me, I've met several that weren't in their right mind that wanted to date me! My last relationship ended three years ago now, and that woman, though flawed, at least had better sense than what has come along after! Well, I take that back: one was just amazing! I hit it off with her, but she was with somebody. Then, suddenly, she wasn't. Actually, no less than my most recent girlfriend tried to hook us up, since they were friends. My ex-wife even met her - well, actually knew her - and had no objections. Perfect, right? Well, I knew she was babysitting for a friend. It also seemed like she only needed me around as a ride to places, which I didn't mind, since I felt needed. But back up to the friend she was babysitting for. How I knew it was more than just somebody she was babysitting for was when we'd made plans to go skating one night with my kids, and she came along with her friend, minus his kid. And he basically warped her brain from that point on. We don't even talk as friends anymore, because she's gone down the rabbit hole too far to find herself.

Just before her was an old neighbor of mine, which, conversely, was an old neighbor of the woman I just described. Out of the blue one night, she messaged me asking if I wanted to have dinner with her. Well sure, I had nothing else going on, and it was nice to have a free meal, and catch up with a friend that I hadn't seen in awhile. Plus, she was living by the kids, so I could pop in and see them. Well, that was my intention, anyhow. Hers were A LOT MORE AND OMG I didn't have time to think! But something in me just wasn't feeling it. Yes, it was good to have somebody want me, and yes, THAT was good, but something just didn't feel right. Once my ex-wife got wind of it (I flat out told her), she gave me several warnings, which turned out to happen. So, I broke it off. This woman tried to get me back, but I was already given the heads up, looked at her and basically said, "Nice try." It flared back up one night before it was over for good.

Then there was late 2018. I was picking up the pieces of my life again, when somebody I hadn't seen in eons added me to Facebook. Oh cool, wonder what she's up to? She messaged me, saying, "Oh, sorry to hear about your divorce," and I asked what she was up to. She said she was about to get divorced herself. And then she wanted to hook up with me, since she always thought I was cute. Um, OK! Oh, she lives far away. She says she's getting thousands of dollars from her soon-to-be ex-husband. Like, what, you think money can buy me? You just want some reason to move back this way. I never said that to her, honestly, but some of her messages seemed like it wasn't her behind the keyboard. Plus, the words that a woman I dated just before I met my now ex-wife came to mind: she's psycho. This particular girlfriend, at the time, was pretty psycho herself. So I had to make up my mind to believe the words of eleven years prior, since crazy would know crazy, or not, and suspect that crazy would say somebody that wasn't crazy was. I set up meeting her somewhere roughly halfway. I even planned on having a friend of mine come along. But, I had one too many doubts, and I blocked her. Oh, I just recently unblocked her, and my suspicions were correct. I chose... wisely.

I think the point I'm making is that I've yet to find anybody in their right mind to date. And maybe I've just been burned too badly. Like, I've fallen in love with people, but it wasn't returned. I was used as a means to an end. And I think I touched on this in my last post, with the woman that seems absolutely perfect, but yet we haven't talked in about a year now, since I saw who she chose to date over me, and it hurt. I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know her, but in that instance, I saw what she wanted, and it wasn't me.

I mean, who knows, if there's a woman out there that comes across this, hit me up. I promise that I am loyal and would never cheat, since I never have, and I've been burned too much. However, please be old enough to where my children don't look at you as a stepsister. And yes, I have joked that I'm not dating until I'm pushing 50, since my next girlfriend probably graduated high school last year. I say that since twice I've been dumped by late 20-somethings in favor of somebody around 50. Plus, it was made abundantly clear to me a couple of years back that I'm getting too old to date 20-somethings anyhow. I mean, if I absolutely wanted to, I know of somebody, but no.

Aria fuori

2021-01-25T23:31:00.002-05:00

So it's been a little over three years since I last blogged. I know nobody pays any attention to it, since I average a blog post every 103 days apparently. But I've gotta get stuff off my chest.

First, let's get this out of the way: I'm glad we have a functioning President again. Is he perfect? Who the Hell is? Is he the President we need right now? Well, we had four years of the President we deserved, so yes.

OK, now onto some personal feelings. So, it's been four years since my marriage ended, and around three years since my last relationship. It's like the world moved on and left me behind. It's like something is missing, and that's it. Before anybody says, "Well, you have your kids, and you know God loves you," that's true. I'm grateful for my kids, and I know God loves me, and I'm definitely fulfilled in His Grace. But, I just don't have anybody to share my life with. I think the last year, year and a half, I haven't felt worthy of being in a relationship. I mean, I've dated in the last three years, but in order:

Somebody used me for a place to be.
Somebody wanted to use me for an excuse to leave her husband.
Somebody used me for my body, which, well Hell, wouldn't you if it'd been over two years?
Somebody used me for a ride.

A few months ago, a good friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend. Yes, I had a crush on her, and my kids had gotten to know her and liked her. I figured I'd go for it... slowly. But, I knew right away that it wasn't going to work out. And I was right, as she started dating some guy who lists 'YouTube streamer' as his occupation. Um, I make pretty good money actually doing something! Well, for right now, since the job I have is only temporary, and I'm not sure when it will end.

I will say that I find it laughable that there are men out there who consider me a threat. Guys, I'm no threat! I can't even get a single woman to date me! What the Hell chance do I have to woo away your girl? This was made perfectly clear when a very close friend of mine, who I wanted to date but didn't since she told me that she didn't date co-workers, started dating a co-worker. I think mainly it was because he made much more money that I did. Yet, he considered me a threat! I don't make moves on somebody else's girlfriend or wife, even though I was friends with them long before you came into the picture. Period. That's un-Christian.

Let's talk about friends, shall we? I mean, I have oodles of them. How many actually want to hang out? Two. A few more talk to me occasionally. In the last year, if one counts by social media, I've lost well over 40 friends, first because of COVID-19 and them resisting what needed to be done to squash this damn bug, and more recently because I quoted George W. Bush when I said, "Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." But, I'm increasingly feeling like a burden to most of my friends, except for two. A few do let me vent to them, after they've vented to me, of course, but I know I can't vent like this to anybody. Recently, one supposed friend went out of their way to block me on TWO social media sites. I work with this person, and let's just say that something is definitely up, and I think it's been building since early November, when I didn't join forces with one other apparent friend to do something that just did not inherently feel right to me, from a business standpoint. But honestly, it hurt, since a simple unfriending would've sufficed.

The one person I should be able to vent like this to is my mom. But, if I do, I get my head chewed off. It makes me miss my dad even more, since he may not have been the best dad, and I've been told that I am a better dad than he was, but he at least listened to me, and pointed me in the right direction. I believe it was 2008 when I got a measly ten cent per hour raise at a job, after all I had done in the year before, when he told me, "Son, look elsewhere. Maybe this job might just match what somebody else is offering." And he was right. And the older that I've gotten, I kinda know how he felt. He had insecurities, but he drowned them in whiskey instead of letting them out. I can't bring myself to doing that, but I now see why. I'm not apologizing for his actions, but I understand. I also understand why he didn't care much for politics. The only political thing I ever saw him willingly watch was when Barack Obama was inaugurated. It was the last thing me and him watched together, actually. And honestly, I didn't know if he'd say to "turn that shit off" or whatever, but he sat there and watched it. He wanted to witness history with his son. Maybe he knew before I did that it would be the last thing that we would do together. I like to think that he willed himself to stay alive to leave this world as a grandfather, even if he never got to hold any of his grandchildren. I've set a goal to actually try to hold all of my grandchildren, and maybe live to be a great-grandfather, which I don't think has happened in my family in generations.

I think in summation, as I've written this out, maybe I should reach out to friends, to see if somebody - anybody - will actually let me vent, let me come over to just chill, or they come over to chill. I will say that last night, I openly wished somebody would set me up on a blind date with somebody. I don't know, maybe I want to feel needed, and not just at work.

My Beloved Confused

2017-12-05T00:31:00.001-05:00

My child, I know this has been hard for you
You've had to come so far too soon
But don't do anything so severe
That you tear apart what you hold so dear

Think of what your actions say
You're too young to find your own way
We'll always have your back whatever you do
Just be sure of the actions you do

What kind of message do you want to say?
What kind of statement does this make?
Are you turning your back on those you love?
Are you creating an opportunity to show your love?

I pray, my dear child, you make the right call
But don't cause this house of cards to fall
Don't send the wrong kind of message
We want you to be happy, but not selfish

Think about it before you go through
And be sure this is what you want to do
Always know that we all love you
Our precious child with eyes of blue

I know you miss how things were before
But those days of togetherness are no more
You need to make the best of every day
And learn to enjoy this new way

Beat of the City

2017-01-20T20:03:00.001-05:00

Listen to the cars move through
It's like the city is breathing
Night falls and the lights stream by
The city is its own being

People are going to and fro
Heading for their destinations
Just to chill or fall in love
The mystery only deepens

The bar is getting electric
People are getting together
Maybe they're single, or not
The night could last forever

The sun rises, a new day dawns
People awaken to the grind
As they go the city prepares
Another night to blow their mind

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Alone Again (a poem)

2017-01-20T19:01:00.001-05:00

The quietness is different
The background noise does nothing
The emptiness is magnified
Being alone in a space so big

Usually familiar faces return
They were just out for awhile
But this isn't their home
I really miss seeing them smile

Alone with my thoughts
Time slows its hectic paces
Hearing their voices isn't the same
I miss seeing their faces

One day they will return
Even if just for awhile
They'll grow and sprout their wings
I hope they'll remember my smile

Alone again I am
I used to enjoy this
That was so long ago
Now there's people I miss

All things must pass
This is just a test
And I have no doubts
That we will do our best

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We Find Ourselves (a poem)

2017-01-20T18:30:00.001-05:00

We find ourselves tossed away
Our ideal love has gone astray
They didn't care when we were told
How can anybody be so cold?

We find ourselves here in pain
The challenge of life is a strain
It seems everything is going wrong
But through it all, we must stay strong

We find ourselves needing a friend
Somebody who can help things mend
Even if for an instant, help us remember
That there are things we should treasure

We find ourselves here at last
And look! We're having a blast
And even though it's been awhile
I think we've once again found our smile

We find ourselves looking ahead
And leaving behind all the dread
Who knows where life will take us
But we know life can't break us

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This thing on?

2016-11-25T22:10:00.001-05:00

Testing 1...2...3....

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The first job

2013-02-27T02:33:00.001-05:00

January 14, 1998, was the date officially listed as my hire date at Winn-Dixie. I was 18 years old, and it was my entry into the work force. My goals were simple: work long enough to get enough money saved up for college, go for an accounting degree. While I did eventually go to college for three semesters part-time, I loved what I was doing enough – and was moving up fast enough – that I decided to stick with the grocery store. In the long run, that first job set me up for where I’m at in my life today, and laid out the possibilities that could still await me.

Location #175 in Camilla, GA, was probably the smallest store I ever worked at in the thirteen years I wound up spending in retail. It was also the longest amount of time I worked in one spot; seven years total, from that first day in 1998 until 2004, and then for one more year starting in 2006 before I moved away. I knew that store inside-out even before I started. To this day if I go shopping somewhere I know where I can find everything just based on learning the layout of #175.

Throughout those seven years, I met a lot of great people, many of whom I’m still friends with fifteen years later. The last few times I’ve gone back “home” I’ve always told everybody to meet me at W-D. I felt especially happy when I walked through those aisles once again with my wife and our first child. I looked at her and said, “This is what Daddy used to do for a living.”

Now, I’m proud of all the other places I’ve worked in, but there’s just something so special about the first job. To this day if I dream about work, even my current factory job, somehow that store works its way into the dream. I think its because there were so many good memories about that place, even though there were times I got frustrated like young people are prone to do. (Worst moment: a lady arguing with me about the price of a Christmas tree, and me being a bit of a smartass. I’ll leave it at that.)

January 14, 2013, was the date that I logged into my Facebook and saw one of my old bosses post that Winn-Dixie #175 was being closed down. For me, being a thousand miles away, I felt helpless. I went through a store closing myself when they closed down #192 in Cairo, GA, but this hurt worse than that. I thought #175 would be open forever, or at least replaced – as I said for YEARS – with a larger store. You may be reading this thinking, “But, grocery stores close all the time, especially with a new Wal-Mart moving in.” This was different. I was quite looking forward to (hopefully) going to visit this year and once again dropping into the place where I first started my working life, this time with our oldest now old enough to kind of appreciate the magnitude of what she was seeing, and with our second daughter, and say, “This is what Daddy used to do for a living.”

Again, you may say, “But its just a grocery store.” Not to me. It was the place where I first went into management, and I could finally relate to the enormity of the job my dad did as a shift supervisor and plant manager. It was where I met my first girlfriend, whose words about finding love either, “a thousand miles away or right under your nose,” proved accurate about six years later when I had moved a thousand miles away and eventually met my wife – again, in a grocery store – and we eventually had two daughters and want to try for one more child before we get too much older. It was the place where I realized that I could do anything I put my mind to when, in a single week, I got promoted to assistant store manager and had to train my office replacement, a new office closer, and oh yeah, roll out a new accounting procedure every store in the chain struggled with. Day one, we were perfect! At the end of the week, we were off a mind-boggling low seventeen CENTS! I worked in retail for thirteen years, and I never saw another week come close to that! It was the place where, to this day, I sometimes say to myself, “This person reminds me of that person I worked with in Camilla so much, its like they were separated at birth!” I gave so much of myself to that store in those seven years that it wasn’t just a job, it wasn’t just a grocery store… it was and still is in my soul. Call me corny, but its how I feel. And when I talk about job achievements, I bring up that time in Camilla more than I do anything else I’ve done in my life.

And if I may just get this bit of rambling off my chest, part of me is sitting here a thousand miles away confused as to why Wal-Mart was worth the effort of saving knowing full well that it would result in Winn-Dixie closing. And yes I was one of those who thought Wal-Mart was worth saving down there, ONLY because I didn’t want to see Camilla lose any businesses and jobs. Maybe I was naive in thinking then, “I know the end result will be Winn-Dixie being threatened with closing, but the city won’t allow it to happen, much like they didn’t let this happen to Wal-Mart.” Is it because the mayor of Camilla isn’t the same mayor now as it was then and he allowed this to happen?

Last night I had a dream. Yes, it involved Winn-Dixie #175 in Camilla, GA, again. But I was standing in the office once again, with my white shirt, clip-on tie and black dress pants on once again. And I stood at the office door and watched as the shelves emptied without being re-stocked, the customers dwindled away, and the lights went out one final time. I woke up with a tear in my eye. Tonight I learned that today was the final day of business for Winn-Dixie #175. It just doesn’t feel real to me to say that.

For all of those who I worked with, it was an honor and a privilege to work alongside you. For all of those in Camilla who shopped there, it was my pleasure to serve you. :)

Rambling at its finest

2012-10-24T02:18:00.001-04:00

(Just a forewarning… this post is gonna get political in nature.)

I, for one, have had it with the 2012 election. A lot of the stuff spewed forth has been comical at best, but there is one thing in particular that has been sticking in my crawl: this statistic that the number of people receiving SNAP benefits has gone up in the last four years. Well DUH! But not for the reasons stated. Let me begin with my own meandering experience:

For starters, the standards were loosened slightly towards the end of 2008 I think. I am almost sure it was then because I clearly remember my then-girlfriend (now wife) and I receiving food assistance when we first started dating, and then losing them whenever she and I started getting more hours at work, then re-applying just before we got married and receiving assistance again when I found out the standards were being changed. Tell me, who was in charge of the country then, at the end of 2008? I do know we weren’t receiving SNAP benefits when we discovered my wife was pregnant with our first child in September 2009.

Fast-forward to today. It seems like we have this on-again, off-again relationship with receiving SNAP benefits. Why yes, we got them back when our family size increased, but this amount was small to say the least, and once again went to $0 per month when our pay rates increased. And then my wife became one of the many people in this country unemployed… just as we found out we had child #2 on the way. Wanna hear something really amazing? Unemployment compensation is factored into total household income. All persons living under the roof are counted. So guess how much in SNAP benefits we got? Why yes it was zilch! We did not receive SNAP until our second child was born.

But now I am getting to the meat of this: we’re just like the rest of the country, using every program there is to help keep our heads above water, and trying to put back something for the next generation (who, as I write, are sound asleep and looking ever peaceful, not knowing how much we stress out every day wondering if some emergency will arise that knocks our tight budget silly). But oh yeah, at least in my state good luck putting something back for the next generation. If its not a designated college fund, it counts towards your assets, and here the limit is $5,500. Say adios to your SNAP benefits come tax refund time then if you have more than one child!

What angers me, however, is this idea seemingly put forth by the Republicans that families like ours are actively trying to keep receiving SNAP benefits! Hearing some of them speak, that’s how I feel they are stating this. Trust me, I’d love nothing better than to clear the limits by a country mile, but I’m just not going to do that around here since now I apparently need pieces of paper from accredited higher learning institutions stating I know business management. Yeah, I could move my family, but why? I grew up 800 miles from my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and I do NOT want to put my kids through that unless absolutely necessary. There was a grandmother I never knew from the time I was three years old until she passed away the day after my first child was born.

Also, as I write, this new point that is being brought up is that there is no way the unemployment numbers are going down, that the books were cooked to make it look like that. Um… my wife just recently found a job for the first time in nearly seventeen months and has interviews for two more lined up. I don’t need statistics; I need to see what is right in front of me!

But here’s the thing: not all that long ago the Republicans actually had some sanity about them. They started losing it around the year 2004, completely lost it in 2008 when it seemed they started requiring their Presidential candidates to sell their souls to Rupert Murdoch, and went absolutely batshit fucking insane when this Tea Party movement hijacked their party. (To be fair, Occupy tried to hijack the Democratic party.) Now, it seems like they would like to start World War III at the closest possible date.

My mother likes to say this is worse than living under Jimmy Carter. I think this is better than when we had Dumbya as Puppet-in-Chief. And yes, once upon a time I thought Mittens was a good man. Again, see my comment about Republican presidential candidates are now required to sell their soul to Rupert.

Bottom line, think about it this way: don’t vote based on what party you’re registered to. Don’t vote based on what some TV channel tells you. You’re online… there are so many different sources telling you what’s going on that the spin is void.

Initially, this post was just going to be about SNAP and feeling like I was personally being put down, but see the title of this blog? This was, as I just changed the title to, rambling at its finest. I’m just tired of stuff that went wrong under a Republican chimpanzee being blamed on a President who wasn’t in charge, and seeing people drinking the Kool-Aid.

The gray encrocheth

2012-07-10T02:25:00.000-04:00

I was looking in my bathroom mirror just now and was shocked at the old person staring back at me, only to realize it was me! My dark brown hair is slowly turning gray, although it should be noted that it has accelerated since my wife had our second child. It seemed like every once in awhile I'd encounter a gray hair and it'd get buried underneath the brown, but tonight I saw gray spots! I'm only 32; I should NOT start looking old!

But even with ever-increasing amounts of gray hair, and even with a full beard, and even with a well-aged face, I still get carded sometimes in stores. While I should be flattered, it should also be pointed out that somebody younger than 21 (or 18) must have looked older than early 30s, hence my getting carded. I looked in the mirror and saw a 40-year-old! Could be because its been a long three days at work.

Anyhow, late-night rant over and done with. I am gonna try to blog more, but I've said that for the last few years.

A testimony of faith

2011-03-01T05:42:00.001-05:00

A lot of you may recall the events of last summer, since I talked about most of it constantly on Facebook and on R-O. I've talked about this before, but not like this. It should've been a happy time. But it turned into a nightmare. But afterwards, I had a renewed faith in God.

Saturday May 29, 2010, was literally the best day of my life. My wife Danielle gave birth to our beautiful daughter Shyanna. Two seconds after I cut the cord, I called my dad to share the experience with him. He was the proudest person in the world that day; he had lived long enough to become a grandfather. But, our daughter had to go to the NICU due to a Group B Strep infection. It was stressful, but we knew she was in good hands.

That Tuesday, I got called upstairs at my job and was told I'd finally been promoted. Life couldn't get better: we had a new family, and I had a new position that could pay the bills comfortably.

But then the roof caved in. First, I called my grandma, since I couldn't get my dad on his cell, since I wanted to tell him the news about my promotion. She told me he was in St. Vincent's Hospital in Jacksonville. I called my dad, and though he had been sick for over ten years, it was the worst I'd ever heard him sound. He said to call him back later. It was the last time we'd ever speak again.

That Saturday, my mom and brother went to see him. I wanted to go, but they said there really much I could do, and to stay with my family up in PA. All was still fine.

Just mere hours before I was to start my new job running the front-end, my wife started acting very strange. She kept hearing things. She started looking under impossible places for people hiding. I'm not quite sure what triggered it, but my wife was having a mental breakdown. I thought if she just got some sleep she'd be better, But she wouldn't go to sleep. I took her to the ER, and she became suspicious of everyone and everything. Finally, I took her to the psych ward. I went to work on no sleep, and went to see her. It was very heartbreaking. This beautiful woman who was so full of life just the day before barely recognized me now.

That whole week was tough. I was learning my new job responsibilities, I was running back and forth between two hospitals, I was burning the candle at both ends. My wife seemed better, so she came home that Tuesday. By that Friday, she was slipping again. CYS was called due to her mental state. So now I had five really big things on my plate.

That Sunday, my wife went back to the ER, and back to the psych ward. I had to deal with CYS pretty much restricting my freedom with Shyanna, for the mere fact that on Friday morning she had been fine, but Sunday she was not, and I changed my opinion on what she needed to have done.

It became obvious that something had to give, and both work and I (moreso work than myself) came to the conclusion that the timing of my promotion was very bad, so I went back to part-time.

Father's Day came. I should've been happy to celebrate it for the first time as a father, but I wasn't. CYS was involved in my life, my wife was not getting any better (and I thought worse), and I got the call that they were pulling the plug on my dad on Monday. I called and, even though he was semi-comatose, I wished him a Happy Father's Day one last time, and his nearly one-month-old granddaughter made sounds to try and do the same. I heard that he opened his eyes. He never would again. That night, my aunt called me and told me the news that my father passed away. My whole world collapsed.

I went to work the next morning and told everybody the news. Everybody wondered how I could go through so much and still come to work. I wondered that myself. Just the tiniest things at Winn-Dixie usually stressed me out to the point of insanity, but I was just so calm about everything. But deep down, I knew why.

Ever since I left GA in 2007 (for an ever-growing list of reasons that I won't get into), I pretty much said, "OK God, guide me through all of this. Point me in the right direction and I'll leave everything up to you." I also know that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Even with CYS, my wife, my dad, and my job, all this stress just went right over me. I knew I had to be strong, but I knew I couldn't be this strong on my own. I knew right then that God was watching over me.

I remember the story of Job, and how everything was taken away from him, yet he never gave up his faith in God. I've always talked about it over and over, but now I was living it. I also know that, in my life, I've always been a Christian, but I've rarely gone to church. I grew up not going to church, but being taught the stories of the Bible by my mom. The story of Job always stood out to me.

Of course things got better. My wife came home well, and CYS really didn't bother us as much as everybody said they would. And I started a new job that has been remarkably easy. But again, I left it up to God to guide me where I needed to be, and I knew He wouldn't put me doing something I couldn't do.

My faith grows stronger every day. I just leave it up to God to show me the way, and to guide me through all the troubles that might arise.

Poem for an old friend

2011-02-27T14:39:00.001-05:00

(WARNING: My poetry can be as bad, if not worse, than a Vogon poem. You have been warned! But, I heard something about an old friend recently, and I need to write this out.)

Reach Out

I heard the news, and was beside myself
You have gone so far off the path
Is there any chance you can be redeemed
Or are you destined to remain doomed?

All those years ago, you were so kind
Your future was so bright
You could see it in front of you
Everybody else did too

Then we went our seperate ways
You were still closeby, I saw you one day
You still looked so happy, so full of life
Things for you were starting to go right

I moved somewhere afar
And didn't know where you were
But in this age of communication, through the miles
I once again saw your smile

I didn't know the day we found each other again
That you were close to going down the drain
Had I known what was going to happen
I'd have reached out to save you from destuction

I found out the news so much later
I couldn't understand your hatred
Maybe you were too much under somebody's spell
Or didn't know he was going to kill

I think back all those years ago
They tried to tell me to go with you
But God always has these things planned out
In His eyes the future is never in doubt

I hope you can find yourself again
And stop the struggle within
I can see clearly the good person you once were
In constant battle with the evil trying to consume your heart

I think back to those days
Our futures unwritten, the miles we'd have to go away
I only wish I could've somehow been in your life
To steer you away from all your strife

I wish you luck in getting through this
But this is one very huge mess
And I pray that if you get through this with your life
That you seek out eternal salvation in Christ

Area code complaining

2011-01-14T13:35:00.001-05:00

OK, here's a story (and I haven't blogged news in awhile, but this affects where I live):

In Clearfield County . . . TURN Director Voices Opposition to New Area Code | GantDaily.com

To a degree I can see why they are complaining. They don't want the county split up into two different area codes. Fine. Here's the thing though: keeping DuBois in 814 will just end up resulting in another area code split at some point in the future. We're kind of a big town (well, having lived in small towns my entire life everything looks big!), and 814 can sustain Altoona, Johnstown, State College, Clearfield and Bedford, but not DuBois. So yeah, keep DuBois in 814, but the area code will still change at some other point in the future. I can tell you that Altoona wouldn't give up 814; otherwise they'd be getting 582, and Erie would get to keep 814. Including the entirety of Clearfield County and Elk County in the 582 area code would be a good idea, except for one tiny problem: Cameron County will still be in 814 and... well, let's see if this map shows up:

As you can see, Cameron County would be disconnected from 814. Would anybody like to see why this is a bad idea?

Yeah, there's TWO spots on that map that are in area code 386! Kinda looks silly, doesn't it? Here's why, according to Wikipedia:

The problem was that the northwestern part of the 904 Area, which was
not growing very fast, was large enough that it could not fit into the
same Area code as the Jacksonville area. The other adjacent areas to
this northwest portion of 904, Area codes 850 and 352, were also growing
quickly, and thus could not absorb this portion of 904, which left only
three viable solutions - split the Jacksonville metro area, overlay 904
with a second code, or make two non-contiguous sections of a new Area
code. These two segments became Area code 386. There are some in Florida Public Service Commission,
the body who oversees Area code development in Florida, who see the odd
split in Area code 386 as a temporary measure, but it is believed that
area code 386 will retain its odd situation until well beyond 2030, as
it is nowhere near exhausting.

I could solve that problem with relative ease, but that's not the point of this blog post. The point is to have an effective, common sense counter-point to those who believe it is foolish to split entire counties up.

Bottom line, this is the most sensible way of doing it. And for those at TURN who may see this, check out the Wikipedia article for area code 570 if you want to get riled up any further.

I just don't get it

2010-12-31T01:50:00.001-05:00

(This is definitely one of those 'rambling' posts so bear with me on this.)

Here I was, sitting here finally over the fact that some guy that calls himself 'The Situation' makes six million dollars a year for... well, I don't know why, and then this story pops up:

'Teen Mom' Amber Portwood Reportedly Makes $280,000

Um, question to those willfully throwing wads of money around: send some my way! It'd be put to good use, I swear! Like buying our family a house, sending our daughter and all future kids to college, etc. What do I have to do? Well, I'll rule out being stupid or rude or both, because its not in my nature. I'll rule out tanning myself for 24 hours solid, because I burn easily. I will, however, be floating around on the Internet, occasionally posting long-ish outbursts like this one since I can sometimes be opinionated, but most of the time I'll just stick to my Facebook and occasionally Twitter posting short comments, and linking to various videos and things that interest me and only deserve a few words, not the rant I just posted while half asleep. And if somebody comes across it and goes, "Well, this guy is speaking for a certain section of the population; let's pay him for his opinion!," then I won't mind.

Also, idea for those making reality shows: its called reality for a reason. You don't go throwing a large truck full of cash at one of the people you're watching with your magnifying glass; they're likely going to behave much differently than you intended. (See: Jon and Kate Plus 8) Unless its a game show, where the object actually IS to win a competetion or series of competetions to get a monetary reward at the end of the season, don't put anybody into a much higher tax bracket than they should be. Give them money for their time, yes, but not several orders of magnitude higher than families with one or two parents, working hard, actual jobs to provide for their children. Because, what happens when you stop following them? And what happens when they blow through the mountains of cash you gave them, and they have to get an actual job? I seriously doubt that 'Reality Show Subject' on a resumé will get them pretty far.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this girl found a way to make $280,000 on her own. Maybe that Situation character worked hard to make six million dollars a year. I frankly don't watch reality TV, nor would I want to be on a reality show. Plus, everytime I actually do see my name in the paper, I literally say out loud, "I hereby yield my Warhol-mandated fifteen minutes of fame to somebody who wants it more than I do." (And for those too young to know what I mean, Google it.)

But as for me, I'll just live my life, work hard, and see what happens.

Where's the music?

2010-04-18T02:32:00.002-04:00

I was watching Saturday Night Live tonight (or lasi night, depending on your point of view) some girl was the so-called musical guest. I think her name was Kesha or something, but quite frankly I don't care. Her singing was absolutely horrible! Her band made total noise! But people were still entertained because they put on a fancy show featuring laser beams and fancy lights. I'll admit that it was stunning, but it didn't make up for the fact that she couldn't sing worth a damn.

Now let's take this band. They have laser beams and light effects that are pretty cool, but they also have music that makes it all the more awesome:

And, for even more awesome usage of laser beams, look no further than Led Zeppelin, live at Knebworth a couple of months before I was born:

Oh look, he's playing his guitar with a lightsaber!

My point is that yes, light shows and laser beams in music are cool. But you'd better have the talent to justify your use of them.

Now, let me turn my attention to Auto-Tune. UGH! I hate it! It takes away any natural sounds a voice might have and computer-corrects them to sound perfect. Well, good music... hell, even 80s music and the big pop music explosion in the late 90s featured a singer's natural voice. It was called practice and doing multiple takes to get the vocals to fit just right. And then praying to God that a) you didn't screw up live, b) didn't get sick and sound like crap live or c) having an audience that forgave your imperfections. Now, even in a live environment a computer can correct you if you accidentally sing Q-flat minor 18th when it was supposed to be a B-sharp. And that damn robotic overdrive setting has finally gotten old. Bring back the days when people used a guitar hooked to a talk box if you want to have talent and robotic voice coolness:

I don't know, maybe its because I grew up listening to music that seems old now but was still fairly fresh when I was a kid, and then was curious to hear how my decade sounded that turned me off of today's music (with the exception of Shinedown and Creed... and before anybody says, "But Creed sucks man," no it doesn't compared to the rest of music). But I have been listening to more New Kids on the Block lately, since that music, crappy as I thought it was when it first came out (and I was around 10 years old then) is better than 97% of music released today.

I'm sure there is a music act out there that has just come out and is writing and playing good songs. I just can't think of one.

You want realignment?

2010-03-15T13:05:00.005-04:00

So rumor has it that baseball wants to realign its divisions, in particular to keep the Yankees and Red Sox from dominating the AL East every single year. OK fine. But if they're serious about doing it, they'd have do a lot more than year-round division relaignment. They'd have to expand, and they'd have to shuffle one team from the National League to the American League. Why yes I drew up a plan, and it only took me twenty mintues to do so! First let's look at the American League:

AL North	AL South	AL East	AL West
New York	Texas	Boston	Anaheim
Toronto	Tampa Bay	Baltimore	Oakland
Chicago	Kansas City	Cleveland	Seattle
Minnesota	EXPANSION	Detroit	Colorado

So under this plan, Colorado would switch to a DH, which should provide for a massive amount of home runs by them. Now, let's look at the National League:

NL North	NL South	NL East	NL West
Pittsburgh	Atlanta	New York	Los Angeles
Cincinnati	Florida	Philadelphia	Arizona
Chicago	Houston	St. Louis	San Diego
Milwaukee	EXPANSION	Washington	San Francisco

This one was tough. I had to move Colorado to the AL because I wanted to try to keep it geographically correct, and unless you moved the Dodgers back to Brooklyn, there really was no way possible. St. Louis is technically not in the East, but then again Kansas City isn't in the South. They're kinda in the middle, so for all intents and purposes, they had to go to the AL South.

Now, we've gotta come up with two cities to put expansion teams in. Truthfully you could move Washington into the NL South, since they play in the Southeast division in the NHL. But then where in the East would you put an expansion team? I'd say Brooklyn, but let's keep it to one city per league. So, back to the South. Put them in a smallish market that had an NL team until the turn of the 20th century. Put an NL team back in Louisville! The AL is a no-brainer: New Orleans. I'm sure the Superdome could be used for such a purpose until a baseball-specific stadium is built.

Just an idea which probably won't happen, since this is the same MLB leadership that wanted to contract Montreal and Minnesota (which, as a lifelong Braves fan, I would not have shed any tears had Minnesota went away) and probably thinks expansion is suicidal. But, for the sake of competetive balance, they should do this anyway. And in the ensuing expansion draft, leave no player protected, BUT the teams could only pick from the league they're going into. Let these teams be competetive from Day One.

Happenings Ten Years Time Ago... and Later

2010-02-17T00:27:00.003-05:00

Only three more months until Shyanna Marie Hodges makes her debut in this world. It has me thinking: what will be cool when she reaches the age of ten? If she listenes to her daddy's music, it'll be ancient! When I was born, Led Zeppelin was still a touring force of nature. When she is born, Led Zeppelin will have only played one full-length concert in the last 29 years, and by the time she reaches ten, will have formed FIFTY-TWO years before! (Don't get me started on how old her paternal grandparents' childhood rock will be.) Even Creed will be a band that formed 26 years before once 2020 rolls around, and Shinedown - the best band out of my hometown since Skynyrd itself - will be a 19-year-old band if they're still around in ten years. They will be her classic rock bands, and my classic rock will be considered something else entirely. But, her mommy is a country fan, and her daddy is slowly becoming one. I can see why my father's last favorite rock band was the Eagles, with his favorite period being before Hotel California, and he started listening to country. It drove him nuts when me and my brother wanted to listen to Michael Jackson (who may have been the King of Pop, but he rocked as hard as anybody else!). What will Shyanna drive me nuts with when she's 10?

One thing is for sure: she won't get a ray gun and a Reagan confused! And she'll have cooler toys than I did as a kid. When I was a kid, I had to use my imagination that the little computer I had could do stuff; Shyanna will have toys that have more processing power than my first computer, a Tandy Color Computer 3. My first real superpowered learning toy had little flipbooks that didn't work half the time; hers will likely have more RAM and a USB port for a flash drive capable of more storage than my first hard drive-based computer, which had a really fast 16 MB of RAM and whopping 503 MB of space!

Television is another thing. When I was a kid, we literally DID have three channels, sometimes four. I loved watching Mr. Rogers when we could pull in PBS. Then we got cable and got 22 channels, so we'd get up, turn the TV knob to channel 3, flip the cable box on and push the button to channel 16 for Nickelodeon. Now, we can DVR shows from NickJr for her to watch after Sesame Street (which I will cut off once Elmo comes on - why he became the big thing on there is beyond me; kids in my generation didn't like Elmo) and maybe the occasional airing of Mr. Rogers, all with the push of a couple of buttons on the remote. The DVR will also come in handy whenever there's something we don't want Shyanna to see, like wrestling.

I know this has been kinda rambling, but its only three more months. Watching Danielle's belly grow more and more makes it feel that much closer. I can't wait to meet Shyanna. Maybe I won't worry so much about the future and how it'll be. But one thing that will likely be the same when she reaches the age of 30: no flying cars.

What happened to vampires?

2009-11-17T02:03:00.001-05:00

(Let me start by saying I'm not a horror movie watcher. Period. 'Gremlins' scared the crap out of me when I saw it 25 years ago, which has scared me away from even old Dracula films. Basically this post is for the movie nut in me, and needed to get out of my system. Let me also say that if this posts into Facebook notes without the images, one is the original 'Dracula' poster and the other is the 'Dracula: Dead and Loving It' poster.)

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were with family and 'Twilight' happened to be in the DVD player. I largely ignored it. But what I did see of it just made me want to use that DVD for target practice. Let's see, my idea of a vampire is something like this:

And at worst, this:

Yes, Vlad the Impaler himself, Count freaking Dracula! Best non-Dracula film I can think of that likely captures this is 'Interview with the Vampire'. I say 'likely' since I've never seen it, and probably won't until I can wrap my mind around the fact that Tom Cruise convincingly plays a vampire. I have seen 'Near Dark' and it is a good vampire film.

But this shit they try to pass off as a vampire film (and for good measure, I'll throw in 'The Vampire Diaries') pisses me the Hell off! Vampires are supposed to disintegrate in sunlight, sometimes screaming, "Renfield, you asshole!," as they're disintegrating. They aren't supposed to freaking sparkle and shine and all that! Even Angel from the Buffyverse said he prefered to, "not burst into flames." Plus, vampires aren't supposed to be wielding wooden sticks hitting baseballs five THOUSAND feet! Those are supposed to be used to KILL A FREAKING VAMPIRE! Either they go POOF (Buffy) or they spit out extremely large amounts of blood because they just ate (Dead and Loving It). And above all else, you shouldn't ask the vampire to fucking bite you so you can live for all eternity with him! 'Near Dark' is a good example of what can go wrong if the vampire falls in love with a mortal, namely, the mortal's family will come looking for him and will kill your whole entire vampire clan. If anything, if you don't want to be dead (or undead), run from the damn thing!

I'm sure there can be good vampires - 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' proved that. But please, stick to the idea that vampires can kill you so dead that you're undead. So yeah, I plan on boycotting the new 'Twilight' movie. When they make a movie based on Count Dracula again (and no, 'Dracula 2000' doesn't count!), let me know.

S--- already?

2009-10-16T01:50:00.004-04:00

It is the dreaded four letter word that actually can be said on TV. People feel dirty saying it though, and it makes a mess of everything in the end. What is it? Snow. And its already falling here. Global warming my left foot! Its not supposed to snow in October, let alone the middle part of October!

But then again, I have been up here for three years so I should expect it. Mind you I lived down South for a good chunk of my life, and wanted to see snow more often than once every 5-10 years. So, I moved. That first winter, I loved it! So what if I had to shovel my car out from being plowed in, it was snow! So what if a Ford Mustang couldn't handle it, I loved it!

Then came the second winter. By this time I was married, and where we live isn't ideal for our car in the winter. Its up a series of hills, down another series of hills, then one uphill climb that is easy in summer but feels like climbing Mt. Everest itself in winter! And that winter seemed never-ending! It started on my birthday, which was nice... never had snow on my birthday before. But then once April came along, I was sure it'd snow clean into July.

Now its another winter starting already. This time my wife and I are expecting our first child. Hopefully it won't be that bad, but it might be worse since we have to take a detour that goes up a hill that really IS like Mt. Everest. We may just stay around town all winter unless weather... and work... cooperate enough to permit travel elsewhere.

So yeah, my opinion on winter has changed. And a couple of my friends are moving out to a snowy area, and seem excited. I'll ask them in a few months if they still like snow.

Sorry, I've been busy

2009-09-28T16:47:00.001-04:00

To the 0.00000005 viewers of this blog, I've been busy, plus Blogger isn't exactly one of my top places to go on the web. But long story short, I am going to be a dad! I'm excited of course. :)

And there are idiots in this world

2009-09-28T16:42:00.001-04:00

Secret Service probing Facebook poll on Obama - USATODAY.com

I would like for them to find the idiot that came up with this and make his life miserable for awhile.

Sorry, I don't buy the hype

2009-05-31T17:58:00.002-04:00

According to pretty much every sports program or website out there, LeBron James is the Second Coming of Michael Jordan, Larry Brid, Magic Johnson, Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, and maybe even Christ himself. The things he does on a court are jaw-dropping, what he's done for Cleveland are good... and hey, he made that one unbelievable shot on 60 Minutes that I am too lazy to look up. I am sure he is a great player... but he is NOT the greatest player in any sport ever.

I now have to endure all off-season hearing about LeBron not guiding Cleveland to its first championship of any kind since my parents were kids. Even last night, the Eastern Conference Finals were barely over and ESPN was already plotting how LeBron could win a championship NEXT FREAKING SEASON! Never mind that the Lakers and Magic have to play a championship series now, ESPN was already looing to next year for LeBron.

By the way, what about his teammates? The only player I know of on that team is LeBron James. He has to have help, the same as Kobe Bryant, Yao Ming, and every other player on every NBA roster! ESPN doesn't deem them important enough to mention.

My thoughts are LeBron should've gone to college. The difference between he and Kobe is that Kobe got drafted to a team where he was expected to learn before he led. LeBron was drafted with the expectation of leading right off the bat. But he pretty much killed that when he got a freaking Hummer before he even graduated high school, costing his school wins. FSU would've been a good place for him to go, since they like to field teams with players of questionable eligibility. I don't care how talented he is, college would've given him a chance to learn how to play with teammates instead of shouldering the load by himself, would've given him a chance to learn leadership qualities, and he may have been the greatest college basketball player in history. Then he could've been drafted and Cleveland would've been prepping to play in the NBA Finals in a truly epic series, not prepping their parties to watch the NBA Finals.

But I saw this with Peyton Manning until he won a Super Bowl. I'll just avoid ESPN until LeBron finally wins won. There is one word though: patience. Patience. He will win one - he has a lot of playing left to do.