blurbs

i likeeee:D

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Fri, 01 May 2009 16:30:00 +0000

from left: fatin, nadia, nisha, sai, ejan, mellie, tira, zati
front: zai (ehem ehem, me!), dde

ohh, i love them! we really hv a blast night. lots of talks, laughs & eats. thx to nadia & her family for delicious foods. *me likey* :D

we did make lots of noise. totally hectic but fun! im going to miss them when im in perlis. huhu.

bh2, saya ngntok sudahh. mau tidurrr. hehe. buh-bye folks! haha:PP

ive made up my mind.

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 10:44:00 +0000

im done. ignore my previous post. i'll try to hate him. eventho its hard. bt i'll try no matter how long it takes. i'll try. seriously, i will. this broken heart need to be mended. but mayb the last piece of it is still stuck at the place it doesnt belong to. theres nothing else i could do aite? ive given up. & that's it! im done.

i love him. & i really do. but.. its ok. i'll be fine:) my friends are always there for me. myb there are no flirting atm. im so not in the mood. friends is ok kan? no harm for just being friends. (get my point) plus, i gt so many things to think about right now. this is not the end of my life. a big no-no. & it just begin. hmm. ive gt nothing else to say.

ps what i mean by hating him is bcos, i love him so much. & that is the best way for me to forget him. i'll try tho. i will:)

thx guys & babes. i love you all!:D

-end-

me, being insecure..

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:04:00 +0000

laluna - selepas kau pergi Mp3 Codes
ive made it! well, not all of it. im still nt over it somehow. ive change my mind from deleting this blog to undelete it. yay me eh?

thx to all my friends for being there for me when i ws in my very2 weak moment. espc to fatin, mellie & cd. thx to fatin thats willing to hear my sobs that night. thx a lot dear. & a big thx also to nisa:) she really did make me feel better (a bit better) they are great. hmm. im pathetic. i admit that. (only certain peoples know why im saying this) i try being happy as usual when i ws around my friends but still i cannot faking it in anyhow. obviously, im still not over it. i cry & cry & cry. sorry for making certain peoples worry about me. IM SORRY. but i really feel better right now. a lil bit better than before. i forced myself to eat bcos recently i lost my appetite (thats me when i ws depressed). im starving myself to sleep. i try to hide it from my parents. ohh, i feel awful!

i thought i would feel better if i just keep it to myself & cry alone without telling people what im really feels in this very moment like i always do, holding back. but i ws wrong. it makes me feel more hurt & sad. i try to let it out. i told fatin & mellie everything what i felt. i try to think positive & moved on but deep inside, i cant. i pretend that im tough girl some kinda ways. but still, im totally faking it. i cant lie myself. i know my strength. i know what im capable of. how weak i am in this situation. how hurt i feel. how much i miss & love ****. *sighs* you can tell me that im pathetic & weak, bcos i AM.

tell me that im strong, tough, & i really can handle this! tell me that! tell me something that can make me feel good about myself! i need support. i admit it. seriously, i am. ohh. im weak! i felt down. very down about myself. its hard to not crying when i heard & seeing something thats reminds me of.... i did cry myself to sleep. i did blame everything on me. i did.

yes, i did felt this before, ive been in this situation. but it ws when i ws in school. i ws around my friends. i gt alot of things to think other than that. my friends keep me happy, they understand what i really felt in that moment. they made me forget about it. they help me out of it. give me supports. laughs our heart out & moved on. but that when i ws in school. its different now. i feel a lil bit lonely. i miss my friends, i miss my roomates (suha, mbok & bibi) i miss you guys:'(

-end-

uniten ohh uniten:D

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 12:10:00 +0000

warning: this post may be exessively loaded with my gorgeous, pretty photos. *wink wink wink* bwahaha! && it might dissapoint you. :P

im bored. barely cant think of anything logically right now. * too exaggerate* saya buhsaann okay!

staring you! grr..

awww!

bad hair day! ishhh! retarded. me need new haircut!

*end of unnecessary section*

actually, nothing much for today. just got an offer letter from uniten for foundation in accounting:D yes, you read the title. honestly, im excited(or pleased) about it but but but, i dont know. *shrugs* need to wait for another offer letter from other university perhaps. *sighs*
upu ohh upu. faster faster faster! lol

still thinking & thinking while eating oreo:D my fav! too bad no milk for me to dip my luscious oreo. still lazy to lift my butt away from this seat. hoho

back. truth, im eagerly wanted to accept those offer bt yet, i need to think it deeply tho. its all about my future babe! & it also all about money$. damn it, i wanna rob a bank. c'mon babe! *babiiii* other than that, im interested on accepted those offer is nothing to do with those past stupid pathetic memories. no offense.:PP plus, campus for accounting is away in pahang. im glad it is. *cheers* only certain peoples know why im cheers for. bwahaha!XD

oyeahhh oyeahh, i'll never going to accept matrix. im so-not interested in studying there. but, who knows. no diploma as well. i bet you guys know why. heee:)

*nyumm nyumm nyumm*

bored bored bored. help me out from this hell, piteous emotion puh-lisss. ditch it! ditch it! *yawn*

-end-

comprehending peoples are harmless. do gt my point.

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:56:00 +0000

im nt going to talk crap here. it jst an opinion from me. ive been in this situation like most of the time(well, not most of the time) and i bet every1 does. we want to be respect & understand. bt yet we didnt do the exact things to others.

peoples are way too complicated to be figured out objectively. some people might takes time to get their mood back. & there also some people need some1 to talk to make them feel better. yet there also people that need some time alone. when comes to figure out to make your love 1 feel better, facts are nonexistent. everything totally craps. there are no instruction booklet to consult.

friends are always there to give advice, bt be careful not to take every single things they said literally. every situation is different. not everything they said might work in your situation in that exact moment. everybody is different (obviously, yeah) be honest & faithful with yourself. think wisely before you talk or start any conversation. aware of every jokes that blurted out from your mouth because you dont want anybody to feel offended about it. nt everybody can handle the truth. respect others before you think about people respecting you. understand others before you want people to understand you. give & take is the best way in relationship with peoples around you. be on the lookout for minor differences that could turn into major soap operas if left unaddressed. aware of everythings around you to avoid misunderstands.

ive learn something lately, thinking positively is never a bad use of your time. there are always the bright side in everything thats happen. all it takes is the fresh perspective and courage to see the value in your past mistakes. as far as i concern, everybody have their own problems in different ways. stop complaining and moved on babe! confiding your love 1 is harmless if they supposed to be trusted.

bt still, me myself hve hard times to share my woes to others espc to my love 1. it takes time to change. bt there always time for changes. hmm. bt i love him. & no1 & nothing could change tat. he can except me for who i am. & so do i. loves are always there for both of us. & i can assured that. call me jiwang, idc. its a compliment tho. lol.

p/s dont try to understand with wat im saying above if you dont want to. no harm on that for me. you might be 1 of the stalker that need time to stop your hobby bt you didnt. criticize me if you think you need to. bt only the good & reasonable critics can be excepted. & i believe there some1 who agree with what im saying. & there always be. my blog, my page, my opinion, my trash thoughts. its all about me here. dont like it? buh-bye then! feel free to click the red button on the right side of the page. no offence peeps.

-end-

im ok. im fine:)

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 02:55:00 +0000

im having unexpected mood swing recently. sorry my dear. myb im having my pms time right now. feeling slightly unhappy about something is normal atm. i easily feeling offended about something that jst a very tiny jokes sort of things. i try my best being happy like i always do. sorry for nt being the most friendly person right now. & sorry for baffling you alot recently. i do love you (call me jiwang, idc) my love for you is assured. no worries.

ohh, about my previous post. there nothing to worry about it. it just me being silly & insecure. im nt blaming any1 bt myself. anyway, thx for your concerned. im fine now:)

apishly:(

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 04:28:00 +0000

ive reading something tat im not supposed to read at all. foolish me ehh. & now im hesitating about something. i know im nt suppose to. bt this is me. idiot! idc im starting to rant here. this is my blog. i can write anything i want in here.

still in jealousy mood. bodo ehh. i jst cant let go of the past jst like that. hmm.

ive this eagerly-want-2-know feeling. & i kept warned myself tat i might read something tat will made me feel down yet jealous. so, i'll read some of them bt end up reading all of them(almost). cant stand those dimwitted feeling while reading it. so, i stop. & now i feel so wrought-up. caka menaaa. there are nobodies fault. it jst me being foolish. silly silly me.

not in the right mood. backoff!

Day out!:)

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:27:00 +0000

hectic but its fun tho. :))

taken by azhar.

hectic yet relieves

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:47:00 +0000

ive already gt my spm results today. yay me! no more anxiousness swirling my dear. heee;) im happy wif my result but i aint telling YOU at all. im a very shy person. (oohh yeah, OBVIOUSLY i am!) haha. fyi, ive known my result from my beloved 'anjangku yang tersangatlah advance'. ive received phone called early in the mornig (to be honest, its not tat early) heee.. from my anjang. she told me about my results and her daughter's as well. im so freaking nervous bt at tat moment, i wsnt giving her the right reaction at all. haha. i just woke up bha. can be consider bha2. hehe. hmm. lost my word already la. haiya! ok2. till then!-end-

could it be more appalling! sh*t!

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:21:00 +0000

urghh. im sooo in total nervous right now. i cant even types all this words right! it's a big day tomorrow!Oh my, oh my, help me to calm down peeps! im excited(well, im not tat excited tho) about receiving the letter from UNIKL but but it soo not my type of course tat im interested to apply in. but i'll think more about tat eh. urghhhh. we'll see about tomorrow cayh. but for sure i aint telling you guys here. unless i gt a very very nice results then, i would be disdainfully to announce it here. AHAHA. jk jk. i wont tell it no matter what my result could be. no way! HAHA*anxious laugh*

ohh forgot to tell you, i ws suprised when komag, k-rel, mizul, gaynol & fatin fana showed up at my house tis evening. dah bujang dah cdak ehh. HAHA. *bongok* we talked & talked. as usual, stupid stuffs & they bluffing a lot! Haiyaa, they never change laa. && i received lots of text messages from my friends telling about how anxious they are & asking me whether will i show up at school tomorrow. *sighs* i'll see about tat. urghhh. i hate tis feeling! stop thinking too much about tomorow!! damn! its killing me. -end-

im being pointless here. i know i know.

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 06:43:00 +0000

im so dying of boredom right now. pathetically i AM! my dad didnt even allow me to go anywhere by car all by myself although i already pass my jpj test. i mean, drive it! yea2, i know i know im not having license yet but come on! i can drove car before when i ws with him bha. & he surely noticed how good i am. duly he MUST!
perghh. im starting to rant here ehh. ok2. well im not going to talk about my dad about being tremendously protective. GOSH! although sometimes its annoyed me. bt it ws jst not his fault. im sometimes being super duper hyper & imprudent ( i mean, SOMETIMES, i bet) ws very very worried my parents. somehow, bear in mind tat you should care about your loved ones hav to say about you. because, they know you better than any1 else. so, pfft!

fast forward..i need to hangout wf my friends. urghh. ive been stuck here in my home like almost a week. bt been stuck in school ws even worst.*im too cool for school* HAHA. 8least here i gt myself peace & calm. & comfy myself with pleasant activities*faking it*.

truth to be told, im missing my friends freakingly soo terribly much (too exaggerate)*shrugs* well, last two night, i texted fatin (oh my, how much i miss her including elis, jijie, ddee, ejan, nadia, ween, tira, fatin fana, odd, shasha, sai, esam, ikwan, esan, max, apek, syamil etc etc.) she told me about hows their hangout went last saturday. she said how she miss me. aww. i miss u 2 my dear. HAHA. *ingga2*. hopefully, she will never ever read this! JK JK. she told me how i can be a GREAT GREAT ( not that great for sure la. LOL) planner on hangout or trip. well, like always (not tat always), im the one who planned everything about the hangout and sort of things (to be specific, not everything la). im the one who asked everybody out to go somewhere. although sometimes my idea can be shitty foolish ideas of all. HAHA. bt it still reasonable bhaa. MORE reasonable than shafiq idea about having a trip to thailand or brunei jst bcoz i already gt my driving license. *feel sorry for him* HAHA. he is hillarious anyway. cant erase all those funny memories with him when we'r both having driving class last month.*giggling silently*-end-

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 16:03:00 +0000

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

(the hills soundtrack. me likey=))

Intuition or just coincidence?

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:30:00 +0000

hmm. i've heard some of my friends hav this dreams about having their spm result( i mean nightmare). but different for me. few nights back, im not having dreams about spm thingy but it something like i never thought of having it. i keep on thinking tat this very particular person in my dream would never ever contacting me again. but i was wrong. next day after having tat dream, he/she (dont want to be specific here) texted me. i was suprised. but yet act calm about it. i keep on thinking should i or shouldnt i reply his/her text. fortunately, i did reply. i dont think it was a bad decision at all. like we're friends bha. so no harm on just replying his/ her text aite. hmm.

back to my dream. in tat dream, it seems like i was very close to him/her. we're having lunch together with my other friends. it doesnt looked awkward at all. we're jst laughing and talking stuffs tat im not sure about what at all. && the restaurant also looked weird. like, come on! it has bed instead of table (pls pls dont misunderstood it my dear) we're just eat eat eat & talking & laughing like what i usually do with my besties. once i woke up, i was totally in blur. WHATTAHECK was that?!

this really reminds me of what i used to read somewhere( cant remember where exactly) ' if you suddenly having dreams about this very particular person that you never have it before, i might shows tat the person in your dreams, is missing u' urghh. at first, i didnt take it seriously laa but but, when he/she texted me, it feels like intuition bha( sound so cliche oo). but it does. LAME~ im nt gonna tell you anything about what we texted la. it ws very personal bha hunny. it jst between me & him/her.-end-

this anxiousness is killing me!

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:35:00 +0000

ohh spm! im feeling soo WROUGHT-UP right now. trying my best to outmoded all this pathetic feeling out from me. *sigh* being caught up in our own feeling ws very distracted. & i hate it. somehow, i need to face it no matter what.

theres been alot happen lately. & it ws so confusing & sometimes irritate me like hell. how much i hate being left out is keep on bugging me since like forever. ohhh. it sound so LAME. bt tat is how i feel right now. jealousy is my major problem. im weak & i admit tat. every time im thinking or some1 asking bout tat past memories, im soo in tears & pain. & it also dragging me away from the pleasurable events all around me. urghh. pathetic. im trying getting away from my past. & thinking tat only future's all that matters. bt it is hard. im jst being paranoid. *sigh*. stay happy & cheerful are what i did alot toward keeping me out of as much of the drama swirling as possible & to alleviate the situations. im nt a typical person tat share my woes to others. confiding in others is nt what i can easily takes & i also have trust issues. life never bring you what you expect bt it usually bring you more. i keep urging myself to think the bright side of everthing bad tat happen to me. hopefully, i can get trough all this in no times.*perhaps*-end-

im in love dgn ituuu abg JPJ. HAHA

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 05:22:00 +0000

Yay! at last! ive done my jpj test & i PASS!.GOSH! im SOOO excited right now. VERY VERY excited. no more drvg lesson for me babeh. no more kecuakan dlm dri slps dtengking instrctor garang. HAHA. im glad its over. btw, ignore tat title. just kidding bha lalink. fyi, i ws in session 1. & im the 5th person. my hands were shaking so badly. it ws totally nervewracking laa. fortunately, i gt a very nice 'JPJ guy'. he did help me sometimes. pheww. what a relief! HAHA. yay me! *agog*-end-

cheers

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 13:53:00 +0000

Newbie is in the house babeh! im excited about this blog bt im in total blurr about it. MAYDAY MAYDAY! i need HELP!*crap* thx to azhar & deb, very goodfriends of mine tat introduced me to tis CORPUS. hoh!*cheers* im nt tat into inkslinging stuffs. sorry if my blog content zero info for u guys or there MIGHT be harsh words tat will intentional hurtfull to ANY1. lol. be my guest to comment anything about everything that i write in here. well, as i know, tat IS the purpose of people having their own blog aite. hmm. i end my words here lah-oh. HAHA. later-end-

Kickoff.hee:)

noreply@blogger.com (zai) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:19:00 +0000

zero start!
completely BLANK
pathetic
mortified*loba ehh*
im in LOVE bt still confuse about it*sighs*
no idea about anything AT ALL.
stimulating my brain
bored
tired

*blurbs*