The Chatter

Under Armour + Tom Brady = Wicked Funny

Max Weiss — Tue, 29 May 2012 20:16:56 +0000

Here's a new Funny or Die Under Armour video featuring Tom Brady. Okay, we chuckled. But we do feel compelled to point out a few things:

1. Joe Flacco shows some excellent acting chops in those Mother's Grille ads. Just sayin'.

2. Why does Gisele insist on giving Tom the latest in Bieber 'dos?

That being said, enjoy.

Tom Brady's Wicked Accent from Tom Brady

Report: O's close to six-year deal with Adam Jones

Amy Mulvihill — Fri, 25 May 2012 18:03:05 +0000

It's no secret that the O's have been playing satisfyingly well thus far this season. What wasn't clear, however, was what would happen with the team's star player, Adam Jones, once the 26-year-old centerfielder became a free agent after this season.

Earlier today,reports surfaced online that the O's are close to signing Jones to a six-year deal said to be worth more than $72 million. If the rumors are true, that would make his deal the most expensive in the team's history.

So far this season, he has been the match igniting the O's offense, batting .311, with 14 home runs and 29 RBIs. Obviously, the team and the fans would be sorry to see him wearing another jersey this time next year.

After conducting a highly unscientific sweep of Twitter and Tumblr, it seems like O's fans are happy to see Jones get paid as long as he keeps connecting at the plate and driving the team closer and closer to its first winning season since 1997.

[Bobblehead image from MASN]

More Out of Work Steelworkers

John Lewis — Thu, 24 May 2012 20:58:28 +0000

One summer during college, I sold Electrolux vacuum cleaaners door-to-door in Dundalk. I discovered two things: I'm an awful salesman (I may have set a record for, literally, not selling anything) and there are more unemployed steelworkers in Dundalk than I ever imagined.

I felt like I met them all that summer, though more often, I probably met their wives. This was a typical exchange... I'd bound up the steps clutching some form of Electrolux paraphernalia, knock on the door, and be greeted by a woman shaking her head at the sight of me. "Hon, I can't afford one of those machines," they'd say. "My husband's laid off down the Point." But we'd often get talking—sometimes, over a cup of coffee or glass of iced tea—about the politics of Bethlehem Steel and the effects of layoffs on families and communities, and, over the course of a few months, I got an education in labor relations to go with my English degree.

Today, RG Steel announced it was laying off nearly 2,000 workers at Sparrows Point, and I thought about how it will affect all those families. I know, firsthand, they won't be buying Electrolux vacuum cleaners, or any other non-essential items, this summer.

David Simon Surprises Georgetown Graduates With Cheerful Commencement Address!

Max Weiss — Thu, 24 May 2012 15:35:53 +0000

Just kidding. It was bleak as hell. (But soooo worth reading.)

http://davidsimon.com/commencement-address-georgetown-university/

Valentine's Way

Max Weiss — Tue, 22 May 2012 15:19:10 +0000

Driving into work this morning in Harbor East, I gave way to a sporty looking middle-aged dude on a bike. He was wearing a helmet and biking shorts and definitely appeared to be biking for exercise.

Upon closer inspection, the middle aged dude was none other than Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine. He waved in thanks and I somehow managed to restrain the urge to roll down my window and yell, "Os rule! Sox suck!" Interesting (and okay, sorta cool) that he was biking around the city, as opposed to running in place on the hotel treadmill.

As for actually giving the manager of the dreaded Red Sox the right of way? Gotta keep up that Charm City rep, I suppose.

John Waters' Hitchhiking Trek Continues; Also, I Was Right

Evan Serpick — Mon, 21 May 2012 21:29:18 +0000

John Waters' hitchhiking jaunt across the country along Interstate 70 has continued, most recently with an eight-hour stretch through Kansas, all the way to Denver, Colorado, with Marion County Democratic Party Chair Laura Broviac and Circuit Judge Michael McHaney (pictured with Waters after they went dumpster-diving to retrieve cardboard for a new sign).

As I detailed in a blog post last week, Waters' travels came to light when he was picked up by indie-rock band Here We Go Magic. In that post, I speculated as to the purpose of Waters' journey:

I imagine Waters is hitchhiking his way across the country on I-70 to meet people, have adventures, maybe have sex, and, probably, write a book about it. There's something poetic about hitchhiking across the country on a road that starts in Baltimore. It's such a great idea, I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it first.

Well, it turns out I was right, at least about the book part, according to an interview Broviac gave to Kansas radio station WJBD: "He is preparing to write a book about his adventures of hitchhiking across America," she said. Also, these people look so friendly, I'd love to take an 8-hour car ride with them and their 3-legged dog.

[photo courtesy of WJBD]

Great Moments in Preakness History

Amy Mulvihill — Fri, 18 May 2012 17:52:16 +0000

I rode horses growing up, so the Triple Crown was a big deal to me. Generally indifferent to sporting events, the three-part series—the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes—was my Superbowl, World Series, and Stanley Cup all rolled into one. My best friend and fellow horse nut lived across the street from me and, every year, we would gather around her TV or mine to watch the races.

The Derby is generally considered the most prestigious of the three races, but the Preakness is where champions emerge. Any horse can have a lucky race and come away with with a win at the Derby, indeed their have been many random, one-hit wonder Derby winners over the years. But to win again, under such intense scrutiny, only two weeks later, that's when you can begin to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

With that in mind, I spent this morning combing YouTube for what I think are the greatest Preakness races in its 139 year history. And, of course, watch tomorrow to see what new history is made.

Let's start with a local winner, Sagamore Farm's Native Dancer. Known as the Grey Ghost of Sagamore Farm, this Glyndon-trained colt won every race he ever entered except one. Unfortunately, that one was the Kentucky Derby, robbing him of a Triple Crown victory in 1953. The Preakness was his chance at redemption, and he seized the moment. After that racing season, Native Dancer retired to Sagamore Farm and became one the sport's best sires. To this day he is one of only 11 Maryland-bred colts to win a Triple Crown race. (The video below is an overview of Native Dancer's career, featuring snippets from the Preakness.)

Jumping ahead two decades, here's Secretariat's Preakness, which is incredible. Notoriously bad out of the gate, "Big Red" is last going into the first turn. And then, suddenly, he's not. Secretariat's jockey, Ronnie Turcotte, doesn't use the whip once. He didn't need it. Even without it, Secretariat was pulling away from second place Sham at the end. Poor, overshadowed Sham. It's important to note that, in any other year, the Triple Crown might have been Sham's, but he had the bad fortune to run against Secretariat, who was just that much better than everyone else. In fact, Secretariat likely broke the race's record time that day, but, because of a malfunctioning timer, we'll never know for sure. (Sorry about the cheesy "inspirational" music playing in the background. The clean version wouldn't allow me to embed.)

The '70s saw two more Triple Crown winners, Seattle Slew and Affirmed, who won in 1977 and 1978, respectively. Seattle Slew, was trained as a two-year-old at Andor Farm in Monkton and remains the only horse to win the series with an undeafeated record. Affirmed, the most-recent Triple Crown winner, was known for his rivalry with Alydar, whom he manages to hold off in a thrilling stretch run seen below.

Now we're into my lifetime and a race I vividly remember. Racing afficianos and media types had all but given the 1989 Triple Crown to Easy Goer, a large, chestnut colt who had raced sensationally as a two-year-old. But Easy Goer lost the Derby to Sunday Silence, a black colt with a white blaze from undistinguished stock. Easy Goer's loss was attributed to the sloppy, wet track at Churchill Downs that Derby day, and many expected him to reassert his dominance at the Preakness. But Sunday Silence was a fighter. He might not have had the flashy bloodlines that Easy Goer did, but he had grit.

Finally, here's another nail-bitting stretch battle won by Curlin in 2007, tying the track record set officially by Tank's Prospect in 1985 and Louis Quatorze in 1996 and unofficially by Secretariat in 1973.

John Waters Picked Up Hitchhiking in Ohio

Evan Serpick — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:43:34 +0000

Earlier today, indie-rock band Here We Go Magic was heading west on the Ohio stretch of Interstate 70 when they spotted a middle-aged guy wearing a blazer standing by the side of an on-ramp, carrying a sign that said "end of 70 West." The band's guitarist filled in DCist on what happened next:

Jen wanted to pick him up, but we drove past him. As we passed by, our sound guy said 'John Waters' Luke said, 'Yep, definitely John Waters.' We got off at the next exit and circled back. He was still there. We pulled up, opened the door and asked where he was coming from. 'Baltimore,' he said. And we said 'Get in, sir.'"

The band's singer Jen Turner has been tweeting updates on the band's impromptu road trip with the director of Pink Flamingos and Hairspray, including the picture here of Waters in their van, and tidbits like "Learning new words like 'Trendsexual' and 'Blouse' from John." He apparently also bought them lunch, and was carrying his own mixtape to share.

My first instinct was that this was some kind of set-up, a promotional thing for the band or something, but that just doesn't sound like John Waters. In fact, as DCist noted, Waters does have a history of hitchhiking: "I do still hitchhike," he said in an interview with an Australian newspaper last year. "It’s a great way to meet people, and to have sex. I’ve hitchhiked in Baltimore, Provincetown, San Francisco … what, people don’t hitchhike in Australia?"

That quote, along the most recent tweet from Turner got me think about what this is likely all about:

"Mr. Waters is headed across the US-- I think we're dropping him in Indianapolis if u want to grab him next. Keep ur eyes peeled on the I-70!"

Most of us who have grown up in Baltimore likely know that Interstate 70 begins on the Baltimore beltway and goes west most of the way across the country. There's that iconic sign, right at the beginning (left) that shows the distances to Columbus, St. Louis, Denver, and Fort Cove, Utah, where the highway ends. I imagine Waters is hitchhiking his way across the country on I-70 to meet people, have adventures, maybe have sex, and, probably, write a book about it. There's something poetic about hitchhiking across the country on a road that starts in Baltimore. It's such a great idea, I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it first.

But that's why John Waters is John Waters.

And this last photo, of Waters and his sign with the band, was just posted by Turner along with this: "Who knew I'd be tearfully leaving john waters on the side of the highway today..."

That's just ducky

Suzanne Loudermilk — Fri, 11 May 2012 19:37:03 +0000

I witnessed a wonderful act of kindness this afternoon. While walking to lunch with a co-worker, we came upon a knot of people gazing into a drainage well outside Waterfront Kitchen in Fells Point. Two baby ducks had fallen inside the hole.

Doug Grinath, pictured, a project manager for Living Classrooms Foundation, took the time to heave the grate off the opening and scoop the frightened babies out of the drain with a net. Look closely and you can see one of the ducks in his hands.

But he wasn't quite finished. In a nearby drain, there were two more babies. When we finished lunch, Doug had snagged three babies and was keeping them safely in a box while he was trying to nab number four.

He's planning to return them to Mama Duck, who was roaming the area. I hope he succeeds.

Photo by me

Orioles Hat Factors in Kristen Stewart-Robert Pattinson Love Affair

Evan Serpick — Wed, 09 May 2012 17:01:42 +0000

We all know the O's are hot this season—but now they've gone Hollywood.

Or at least their hats have. Today, Yahoo celebrity news site omg! has an in-depth chronicle of British star Pattinson's prized Orioles hat, including the apparently very significant news that it has most recently been spotted on the adorable head of his Twilight co-star and girlfriend Stewart (left).

Look, I'm so out of it, I had to Google these people up to confirm their identities, but Baltimore magazine cannot be scooped by omg!