B. Nagel

How the HELPER earned his price.

2011-12-24T09:48:00.003-06:00

The HELPER has never once been seen.
The Fat One is sneaky, but careless.
The wife of the Fat One paid in full
for the snotnos’d and dirty of Gris.

The fourth house on Harkness held Erik,
hyped up on turnips and spiced nuts and
cocoa and loud lies of yuletide and
elfin carousing and courses of

reindeer, darting through the northern lights.
Erik’s eyes sparked when the Fat One flew
reckless and feckless before the clouds.
The HELPER took notice and stretched out

a parlous arm, plucked out Erik’s eyes,
twisted his ears, and wet his bed.
THE END.

--

(Part of Loren Eaton's Advent Ghosts 2011 shared storytelling event.)

My Words in a Book: "Interview with the Pram Driver"

2011-12-22T22:40:00.006-06:00

Hey there, sportsfans.

My computer cords decided these holiday times are a fantastic opportunity for an electrical short and smellings of melted insulation. (Luckily, no fire). So, I'm running a bit behind on this announcement.

--

John Kenyon of TIRBD issued a challenge 12 months back in search of fairy tales re/told as crime fiction. If you've considered it before, you might recognize that many fairy tales already ARE crime fiction. Here are a few of the thieves and the murderers: Aladdin/The Soldier of The Tinderbox, Goldilocks, Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, Jack.

However, I decided to look at an extra-textual narrative, a repercussion of an event in the tale proper's past: What happens to the caregiver when a child disappears into Fae? Thus was born "Interview with The Pram Driver."

I could tell you what did me to the deep you see, but you wouldn't believe it. Nary a word. There I am, hoping, praying, dressing out and making the rounds, looking for a bit of work to put some money by, what with my Albert blowing his wages down the pub 'fore he gets them. Yes, I tell the darling couple, I know a nursery like the back of my hand. Two of my own blighters at home. No truth there, but my sister had one once. What's to know?

Well, B, we all like to talk about our past triumphs sometimes, but why bring it up now?

Here's why: The collection of 17 stories has been published by Untreed Reads as "Grimm Tales" and is available for purchase at The Untreed Reads Store (direct link). It's also supposed to be on the Apple Bookstore, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble.

Faithful blogger, co-dictator and friend of the program Loren Eaton (of ISLF) has a story in the book. As do some very talented writers who, until that point, I had never had the pleasure of meeting.

For those of you with a thirst for par-boiled marchen and a spare bit of Christmas jingle in your stocking
-OR- a deep-sadness over the seasonal lack of Grimm, Once Upon a Time or Neverland
-OR- just a desire to test out your dandy new reader/tablet

I think you should check it out.

Feeble Wave

2011-10-26T00:45:00.003-05:00

September 23.

It's a Friday, but that's a day off in my work week.
From 8:30 to 10:00 in the morning, I wait at Youth Court to testify about an incident at the library. The holding area is Courtroom 1. An ancient metal detector and matching deputy guard the stairwell. One of the principals fails to appear. We reschedule.

October 14.

Another Friday.
At Youth Court from 8:30 to noon. A family with 5 children under the age of 9 sit on the front row. All 7 have wracking coughs and raspy breathing. We are all pretty sure the youngest girl needed to be in the hospital. I would swear the pews are from the same batch that's in the First Baptist Church. Obviously, the graffiti is different.

The case I testify in is called at 11:30. I move to the witness room, which I share with the victim and the assailant's brother. We have a good jaw about multi-lingualism in the school systems of Georgia, Mississippi and Jordan. We touch on the price of meat in Jordan (12 dollars for one pound!) and the difference in societies and economies around the world.

One interesting tidbit:
"I am not married at home, but here, I am married."
"Is she Jordanian?"
"No, she is from Alabama. Birmingham."

The brother and I are called in for the judgement and everyone is dismissed.

The incident occurred in June.

--

I've received one rejection and one suspiciously long caesura for William the Goat.

I've abandoned three different approaches to my Variations piece. I still think my piece is strong. But I may not be writing it or revealing it correctly.

We've battled fleas (again), eyeteeth coming in, learning consequences (the play-table goes away if you climb on it after a warning), a rash of exhibitionists in the library (srsly!) and seasonal dissatisfaction.

--

And, to end on a high note and as proof that I am a Mississippian, a few pictures.

Here I am after some amateur tree-removal.
Taddy and I had fun.

This is Baby and I on our neighbor's four wheeler.

Season

2011-08-30T05:15:00.003-05:00

The reading period at many literary magazines begins next month. Some Thursday, some on the 15th, some later on in the fall.

The Literary Lab's anthology (their third) Variations on a Theme is also soliciting submissions until December. BONUS: cash prizes.

Also college football, with the attached guests, traffic and tragedians.

This is just to say, I am camping with a flashlight in my closet for a while longer, pecking away at the keyboard.

Administrative Building

2011-08-23T22:20:00.000-05:00

Something to tide you over

2011-07-27T11:52:00.004-05:00

while you wait for Jason to post the Clarity of Night "Elemental" contest results.

As Promised

2011-07-21T10:18:00.004-05:00

This is a trace of a photo from October 2003.

By the way, have you visited the CoN site for reading/voting/commenting? You really should. All of the contest entries for "Elemental" are posted and indexed. I narrowed my field to about 20 and am about to start culling for my Reader's Choice nominations.

The Haps

2011-07-19T13:14:00.004-05:00

As previously reported on FB, the three of us made the short trip to my wife's family reunion and Baby saw a real live turtle, a real live egret and real (live?) goose poop.

After losing close to a third of her previous body weight, Em has managed to regain 7 pounds. Everything is not fixed, but this is amazing news.

My seester gifted me a rather large drawing tablet. After tinkering with drivers and programs, I've been very pleased with both how it works and what I've been able to produce. I will post something ~~tomorrow~~ later on that isn't integral to story development aka secret.

I turned in my entry for "Elemental", the newest Clarity of Night contest. I will update this post with a link when the story is live.

UPDATE:
Story is Live.
Flame, At a Distance, Over Water

Snippet - Words within Words

2011-07-01T22:28:00.005-05:00

"[T]he precept, which is tedious in a formal essay, may acquire attractions in a tale, and the sober charms of a truth be divested of their austerity by the graces of innocent fiction."

quotation from Drake's Speculator, 1790, No. 1.
found in Prefatory Observations to The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia
included in 1970 edition of Oxford English Classics, Dr. Johnson's Works: Volume the First - Life, Poems, and Tales.
reprinted from the edition of 1825, Oxford and London

Maybe you should try it?

2011-06-24T00:29:00.005-05:00

All the time, I am hearing tips and tricks on how to remember things (mostly because my memory is only a little better than my hearing, which reflects a vigorous appetite for fireworks, driving fast with the windows down and standing entirely too close to speakers at rock concerts). Writing yourself notes, "Sally smells like salmon," repeating peoples' names, tying a string on your finger . . . The tips and tricks don't stop there.

I recently repositioned my computer monitor at work so that it would be in my supervisor's line of sight. This helps remind me that if I'm nervous about her seeing me doing it, maybe I shouldn't be doing it at work (*cough*Frontierville*cough*).

My point? I hate outlining. But it works. My story has movement, plot points that connect and a definite end.

I used the 5 act structure, 3 scenes per act (beginning, middle and end). I find that this sort of concrete activity promotes creativity. I tend toward the visual and kinetic.

Do you outline? Do you do arts and crafts? Do you wish I had uploaded a higher resolution photo? Trust me, my handwriting is still mostly scribble, even at 1400 x 900 resolution.

Blocks, Borings and Snow Boulders

2011-06-22T02:11:00.000-05:00

When Mark asked for blogs he could stop by on his blog tour, I jumped at the chance. I honestly can't recall how I stumbled onto Mark's site, This Writing Life, but his was one of the first writing/publishing blogs I put in my reader, along with EdAss (moonrat), EdAnon and Nathan Bransford, way back in 2008.

I have never know Mark's writing to be anything other than honest, economical and entertaining. And that doesn't change in the piece he brings today. I asked him if he'd mind writing about how he goes about approaching the blank page. When you finish ogling his author photo, read the piece below.

Blank Page Blues
By Mark Terry

Oh, all those unwritten words. You’ve got your title, then your byline, then … sure, those were easy, all you need now are another 90,000 words or so.

Honestly, that’s rarely a problem for me. My version of “writer’s block” involves marketability, and it rarely kills a manuscript before any words get written. It often kills the work around page 100 – way too often. Or it can kill it early on, within a few pages. No blank page, just a forlorn stillbirth.

Here’s an exercise I sometimes do to get going. I got it from an interview I read with David Morrell. His writing mentor was Philip Klass/William Tenn. Morrell asked Klass what he was doing, writing a bunch of novel beginnings and Klass said, “Test borings.”

Morrell said, “Oh, I get it. Like drilling tests to see if you hit water or oil.”

Klass gave him an odd look and said, “I just want to see if they’re boring.”

Well, it works for me. I’ll often give myself 5 to 10 pages of a novel just to see if it takes off. A lot of times they don’t. If I’m struggling with the idea, maybe it’s not a good idea, or, even more likely, it’s not a good idea for me. That’s important. I have lots of great ideas, just not all of them are suitable for my tastes, background and writing style. Or I’m just not ready for them. Keep in mind that Ken Follett wanted to write “The Pillars Of The Earth” years before he actually did, because he realized he wasn’t ready to write it when he was younger.

Sometimes I’ll abandon those 5 or 10 pages and keep coming back to them, to see if they’ll take off. That’s a good sign. That means to me that there’s something about that idea that I really like, but I just haven’t figured out how to approach it yet.

One example, for me, was my novel DIRTY DEEDS. I wrote maybe 100 pages and abandoned it. Six months later, with nothing working, I read what I’d written, said, “Hey, this is pretty good,” and completed the novel. It sold to the second publisher it went to.

A more recent example is a project I’m working on called CRYSTAL STORM. I tinkered with the first 20 pages or so for about two years. My agent was bugging me to come up with some different ideas and I threw out a couple and she was lukewarm, then I mentioned this one and she wanted to read it, loved it, and asked to see 100 pages. So I cranked out 100 pages. I’m still working on it and we’ll see where it goes.

A lot of books are like snow boulders, I think. You’ve got to find the right snow and get it rolling down hill. It’ll gain momentum and size on its own, but you’ve got to find the right snow and the right conditions first.

Thoughts?
--

Mark's newest Derek Stillwater book, The Valley of Shadows, is available in hardcover and in a Kindle edition. Click the cover art to find out where.

Venting

2011-06-20T18:02:00.002-05:00

Did you know that the archives of Ulysses S. Grant are housed at a public university in Mississippi? That when I attended a music festival outside of Chicago in 2002, I was asked if people in Mississippi wear shoes? That I bore witness to more open racism in 2 hours in Iowa than I have in 27 years in the South?

I'm not saying that the South is pure as the driven snow, not even the gray slush piled against the curb. I'm just tired of people pissing on it.

In other news, come back Wednesday for words from Mark Terry!

Something Fun

2011-06-16T00:37:00.005-05:00

I want to say a big thank you to all who participated in the Writing Monster exercise. Next week, I'm going to post about why I think I had such a hard time. Don't forget Voice Thingy posts on the 18th.

When I sent out the invitation 5 weeks ago, I decided to do a little something extra. Video below or, if the embedding is on the fritz, link here. Feel free to mute the computer if you hate post-hardcore music.

Writing Exercise Monster Index

2011-06-15T07:46:00.008-05:00

Please find attached the index of stories that have been posted for the Wake Up, Writing Monster writing exercise. This post will be updated throughout the day as links are brought to my attention.

Please visit and comment.

The deadline for Voice Thingy over at Peter Dudley's is this Saturday (6/18).

Also on the horizon is a guest post by Mark Terry, author of the Derek Stillwater thrillers and freelance-writer-extraordinaire, on a rather salient topic, considering what we've all been through with this exercise: Approaching the Blank Page.

That's upcoming; here's what's happening now:

THE LIST

"Wake Up, You Sleeper" by B. Nagel
"The Wind Cries Mary" by Peter Dudley
"Wake Up, Writing Monster" by Donna Hole
"A Dream to Fill the Earth" by Loren Eaton
A Cold Call by Tony

Wake Up, You Sleeper.

2011-06-15T06:45:00.001-05:00

Come in. Come in. Welcome to my home.
You've noticed I'm whispering. I'd ask that you keep your voice down as well. You see, I'm supposed to be dead. Or possibly sleeping. Or I've vacated the premises in favor of . . . something.

Anyway, I'm here, you're here. Let's chat for a bit. Have a seat. Sorry, sorry. I forgot you can't see in the dark. I would turn on the lights, but a light bulb in an empty house can't just switch on. Someone might get the wrong idea stuck in their head. You understand.

Alright. Here. I've got a wooden chair pulled up right behind you. Slowly back up until you feel a slight pressure on the back of your calves, then settle back onto it. No, I'm afraid I don't have any cushions. My cousin Morpheus took them all for his hole in the wall cafe.

You mentioned in your letter that you wanted to do an interview for your web journal. You can stop fumbling for your notepad and recorder. Number one: You are being entirely too loud about it. The sound of your pen scratching across the paper, the flipping of those ridiculously tiny pages that you insist on writing so large upon. Unacceptable. Number two: You can't see to write anyway. Number three: Your electronics will not work here. You'll need to rely on your memory and sense of narrative if you want to tell anyone about this visit.

Now, where would you like to start? Some prefer to start at the beginning and move forward; "all clocks move forward" seems to be their motto. Some in media res to stimulate interest. Some like to start after the present, then backtrack. Me personally?

I don't really mind any particular way so long as the story is told well. You do know that I can hear the whine of the tiny wheels of your tape recorder? I told you it won't work. But everyone has to try.

I see. We'll focus on the current trouble, as you call it. Personally, I don't see that there is any trouble, but I know what you're talking about. You have so many euphemisms. Dry spell. Rough patch. Juices aren't flowing. But the best and most accurate phrase is writer's block.

Just take a look at this letter, well, let me read it to you:

"Yesterday, I arrived as prescribed at my desk at precisely 7:03 AM. On previous mornings, I felt inspired by birdsong so I waited for the birds to begin to sing. In anticipation, I sharpened five pencils and faced the lettering to run east to west relative to the desk which is actually West to East since my desk faces South. (See attached Figure A for visual aid.) This pleasant incongruity was so inspiring, I determined that it, also, should become part of my routine. What else could I be doing to encourage creativity?"

This goes on for four more pages, with two additional figures. Do you want to guess why the letter ends? Because he runs out of time waiting for the birds to sing before he had to leave for work.

I may or may not have had something to do with his neighbor's dog scaring the birds from the trees at 7:01.

Because, look, you all treat me like I'm mystical. You try and dress me up as Calliope blowing air through a harp, or some primal monster fueled by repression and social commentary, bent on ripping down and raising up according to my whims.

The newest tiptoe around my house, carrying offerings and entreaties. The ones with a bit of time under their belts skulk at the fringes and throw rotten vegetables, curse me.

Both have the same problem. They are looking at me to enable them. I couldn't enable a lemming to fall off a cliff.

Do you want to know the most important part of this interview? There's a wall to your right. Reach out and touch it. If you move your hand up the wall, you'll feel a switch plate. I never said you couldn't turn on the light.

Don't be surprised when you find yourself alone, staring into a mirror.

--
Created for the Wake Up, Writing Monster Exercise.

RE: Trip to new specialist.

2011-06-09T19:10:00.003-05:00

Went rather well. Seems much more concerned and proactive than previous gastro. Tests are being re-run for up-to-date results, and he wants to talk to Em about results on Monday.

!

At the old place, you could never speak to the doctor's directly on the phone. You had to call, leave a message and wait half a day for a nurse to call you back to set up a follow up appointment with the nurse practitioner who reviewed your file as she walked in the door.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Don't forget that Wednesday is the posting day for Wake Up Writing Monster!.
Saturday is posting day for Voice Thingy.
Mine will be lame. Me, reading from the computer screen. Possibly without glasses. Most likely wearing a beard.

BONUS

In a hair shy of two weeks, The Mark Terry will stop by my corner of the internets on his blog tour. Hooray for visitors!

Friends, Romans, lend me your prayers

2011-06-08T14:01:00.005-05:00

Please think encouraging thoughts for us and the doctors tomorrow. We are visiting a new doctor about an hour and a half away. This will be our fourth specialist. Em has near-constant nausea and has been steadily losing weight for the last year. She is clinically malnourished and, resultantly, constantly tired. This on top of being alone with a toddling Baby for dinner and bedtime while I'm at work.

I appreciate it.

One Week Away

2011-06-08T10:36:00.002-05:00

One week, friends.

June 15 is the deadline for your 1000 word story.
June 18 is the deadline for Voice Thingy videos.

Two and a Half Weeks

2011-05-29T15:40:00.004-05:00

Has anyone started yet? Anybody finished?

I've always been bad about procrastination, but my shifting work schedule worked to my advantage for once. Since my lunch hour fell at 3pm for the past two weeks, I brownbagged it and wrote.

The wrong foot wound me up mired in minutiae on a nowhere road, traveling step-by-step from bathroom to kitchen, opening each drawer and cabinet in search of canned fish. Exhilarating prose, let me tell you.

Luckily, a patron stopped by the desk on Wednesday. His first name was Stenard. And that fascinated me.

So I have a first draft, a complete story and a review from my wife.

"It's six different stories that jump around without transition and make no sense."

That's progress.

I don't understand it, but I love it

2011-05-25T12:20:00.003-05:00

I've been reading stories by George MacDonald lately, stories from a book of stories given to me by a Queen. And while the Princess/Curdie stories are pretty straightforward, it's the tortuous ones I love. Phantastes, At the Back of the North Wind and Lilith are, well, I think I said it best in a comment I left at The Literary Lab today:

I love reading books that are utterly immersive, that engross you entire, and when you are birthed back from that other world, you don't know what it meant or how it worked, but you remember that it was beautiful and deep and worthwhile.

Monday Morning

2011-05-23T04:03:00.000-05:00

And good morning, friends.

Last week, I received a tasty package of meat from Lettuce is the Devil AKA Trabbis, mowed the back yard using 1.5 hours and 2.5 tanks of gas, wrote 6 lines of a dreadful poem (tercets. eww.), started writing 15 blog posts that never got beyond an initial observation, helped frost the practice cake for Baby's approaching birthday (yup. practice cake.), grew beard hairs and solved several easy crosswords.

Also, Baby and I are continuing to dominate Jeopardy!

I bought new work pants since the inseam of my old khakis decided to wear through. In two years, the price of chinos has nearly doubled!

How was your past week/end?

Wake Up, Monster - 4 weeks

2011-05-18T05:45:00.002-05:00

Have you started writing a story yet for the Monster exercise? One week down, four to go.

I know the lack of rules has been a bone of contention for some folks. And from you, I welcome a more strict adherence to my personal prompt: "Wake Up, Writing Monster."

From everyone else, I tingle in anticipation to see what you produce. See me tingling?

Remember:

1,000 words
posted on June 15
email the link to me [bnagelblog at gmail dot com]

The Invitation

2011-05-13T14:12:00.004-05:00

(REPOST. Blogger ate the 5/12 entry. Apologies to those who had commented.

UPDATE. Blogger brought the comments back. Hooray.)

Hello friends. This is a writing exercise. And I want to take this opportunity to invite you all to take part in it.

In my head, I'm calling this exercise "Wake up, writing monster!" You can call it whatever you want. But first things first, right off the bat, this is not a contest with fantastic getaways to southern Spain or giftcards to internet bookstores. The only prize is participation; the only reward, community; a shadow beside ours as we walk the writing road. Loren Eaton has hosted several similar storytelling events (see Advent 2010 and Six Birds). Feel free to sample the old cheeses.

But what is the story supposed to be about? Well, I want everyone who participates in this exercise to write to his or her own purpose. I have been travelling through a dry patch and need to to revive, tease, wake up the writing monster. So my story will be about that. Now, my story may star two old ladies having coffee and flirting outrageously with a barrista OR a young boy passing through manhood trials OR I may write about myself writing about library patrons. All of these options are on the table and more beside. I am writing to exercise and inviting you to work out with me. In a free-for-all, internet word gymnasium kind of way. Just keep it PG-13, please. My mom does read the blog.

After you post, make sure and check out the other participants' stories. And glory in the company of other blogging writers. Make sure to comment. Be polite and supportive. Like at CoN. Without the craziness of 500 entries.

The goal of this exercise is a 1,000 word story.
Post date is Wednesday, June 15, five weeks from yesterday. Email me the direct link at bnagelblog [at] gmail [dot] com when you've posted. I'll create a master list of participants and linked stories.
If you don't have access to a blog or aren't interested in posting your piece yourself, I would love to host your story for you.

ALSO
Peter Dudley, the infamous pjd, has graciously grafted my exercise onto a really neat tradition called . . . Voice Thingy. Best name ever? Possibly. This is a link to his post.

In brief, everybody who puts in a story is invited to post video or audio of themselves reading their work. You don't even have to put in a story for this exercise, just make a video. How cool is that?!

Tomorrow - The Invitation

2011-05-11T13:40:00.009-05:00

On tomorrow, I will post an invitation.

An invite to exercise, explore, exorcise, expurgate, etc.

A time to tease the monster.

Wake up, monster.

Water helps

2011-04-26T07:12:00.002-05:00

Welsh pater is an anagram of the title.

But I digress.

As Mississippi experienced its fleeting Spring, I found a startling amount of free-flowing creativity around water. There's a small body of water near campus that I was able to stop at and get 15 minutes of writing a few days a week. Provided I dropped Baby at my parents' house and left earlier than usual.

Then, two weeks ago, I took off work for a day and went out to a lake in the wilderness. Watched Canada Geese and ducks and lily pads and bass and turtles. Watched loggers fell a dying tree that encroached on the road. I wrote a few pages. I also brainstormed plot arcs. Discarded a few. Melded some others. Cross-pollinated.

Maybe it's got something to do with ions. Or energies. Or seeing God in the world.

I love a lake.