This is a rebroadcast of Episode 99, published in April 2009.

Melinda Potcher adapted Dr. Misner’s Ten Commandments of Networking (discussed in Episode 32 and Episode 33 of this podcast) into the Ten Commandments of Business Networking.

1. Thou Shalt Not Sell to Me.
2. Thou Shalt Understand the Law of Reciprocity.
3. Thou Shalt Not Abuse Our Relationship.
4. Thou Shalt Not Be Late.
5. Thou Shalt Be Specific.
6. Thou Shalt Take Your Business Seriously.
7. Thou Shalt Follow Up on Referrals.
8. Thou Shalt Communicate.
9. Thou Shalt Protect My Reputation.
10. Thou Shalt Prepare for Success.

What do you think of this list? Would you change or add anything?

Read the post on Dr. Misner’s blog.

Transcript is in the show notes for Episode 99.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

The full title for today’s podcast is “Getting to the referral stage with a new contact.” If you remember Episode 253, there’s no way to rush a business relationship. So how do you get to the referral stage with a new contact?

It depends on how you came into contact with the person in the first place. If you impressed the person at your first encounter, you might move from visibility to credibility more quickly. Primarily, however, you need to create touch points.

• Make an appointment for a one-to-one meeting.
• Invite the person to another networking event.
• Find a way to help the person—which doesn’t mean selling them your product or service.

And remember, networking isn’t about making sales, it’s about making contacts.

Let us know what you’ve done to move through the VCP process to get referrals by posting your story in the comments.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 255 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. The full topic, the full title for our podcast today is Getting to the Referral Stage with a New Contact. That’s a little long for a title, but that is really the theme. Getting to the referral stage with a new contact. The first thing that I suggest for anyone new to this podcast is go back a few weeks and listen to the podcast that I did with Emory Cowan. Emory and I did a great podcast on peach wine and networking. It’s a great story about how he turned his wine into vinegar by wanting to push the process too quickly.

So I want to preface my comments with you can’t push it too quickly. To get to the referral stage with a new contact, you have to take your time. With that said, people often ask what do you do when you meet somebody and how do you move it to the referral stage with a new person that you might meet?So I always say that the best way to get to the referral passing stage really depends in part on how you came into contact with the person in the first place. That’s really important.

Let’s say you met while giving a brief presentation to a group of people who are in your target market. Assuming that you did a good job, you have a possibility of receiving referrals from some of these people even though you just met. Well, it can happen even though you just met because the presentation moved you from visibility a little closer to the credibility phase in your new contact’s mind. Hearing you talk and hearing your expertise helps to move you through that visibility a little bit quicker. Now they are willing to talk to you further and possibly recommend you because you are at the credibility phase.

The same thing is true when you are out networking. If you have a good conversation with someone and you truly add value to the conversation, you can move through the visibility phase quicker. Most of the BNI members have heard me talk about visibility, credibility, profitability. There is a chronological process. You move from visibility to credibility and from credibility to profitability. That process takes time, but you can expedite it in some ways.

It’s not terribly important whether the person is someone you might do business with directly. That’s really important. A lot of times, people are hunting for someone they can close a sale with. Networking is not about closing sales. It’s about making contacts that can give you referral relationships with people who can refer you. So even if your businesses don’t match up, the other person might have information that is useful or might know other people that you might like to get in contact with.

It’s often worthwhile to develop a networking relationship with people who have a little in common because they can bring an entirely new networking into your contact sphere, into your relationships, into your personal network. Just bear in mind that even if there is a strong possibility that you are going to do business with this new contact, it’s probably not going to happen there at that networking event.

It’s what I call the networking disconnect. We have talked about it in previous podcasts, where people at networking events are trying to sell but nobody is there to buy. So you can’t go to these events thinking that you are going to meet somebody who is going to give you a referral or that you are going to get business. Conversations in those kinds of environments last maybe a few minutes long. Instant business is not likely to be had. But if you follow up – and this is really the key- with people a few days later and can set up a one to one with them to get to know them better, it is that meeting where you will have your best opportunity to start to build a relationship.

Remember, networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. It is about cultivating relationships with other people. So if you can find ways to help them, support them, give them suggestions or advice, it moves the relationship process along.

So here is where I would like to open it up if you have any questions, Priscilla, but for the listeners, I would love to hear any suggestions that you have, any experiences that you’ve had. Specific experiences where you have been able to move through the VCP process a little quicker, where you have been able to expedite the VCP process and move to the referral stage with a contact- a tactic, an idea, something that you have done that has been effective to move through the VCP process a little quicker.

If you have an idea or have seen or done something, post a message here on BNIpodcast.com and let us know what you have done to help move that referral stage to get to that referral stage a little quicker with a contact.

Priscilla:
I was just thinking, Ivan, when you were talking that one of the reasons I think cold calls don’t work is because you have absolutely no relationship with the person that you are calling and you’re trying to prove to them in 15 seconds or less that they should talk to you. They have no reason to talk to you, really. That’s why I think it’s so unbelievably difficult.

Ivan:
It is difficult. I would say that I believe cold calls work, but it’s a huge numbers game. You know, you might have to call dozens or hundreds of people to even get to a decision maker that you can talk to. And then how many people do you have to talk to who are willing to then meet with you? To me, the idea of cold calls are the perfect example in farming versus hunting. Cold calls are Hunting 101.

When we are taking about relationship marketing, we are talking about farming. But the question is how do you speed up the process a little without turning to vinegar, like Emory’s story, right? There are ways to do that and the ways are to find ways to help other people. I’m not talking about letting me sell you my product. That’s not what I am talking about, but looking for ideas for somebody else, sitting down and doing one-to-ones with them, inviting them to other networking events where you can see each other again- building that relationship takes time and many touch points.

You have to find touch points to connect with that person over and over again. That’s the farming process, whereas cold calling really is a hunting process. I think you are absolutely right. That’s why it’s much harder to make work.

Priscilla:
Then I was just also thinking as you were speaking that I think one of the fastest ways is if somebody that new contact knows and respects can really verify that you’re really good at what you do, some kind of outside verification, that really speeds it up.

Ivan:
It does. It does help, especially if it is somebody that both parties know. If the person you are talking to knows that individual, that goes a long way.

Listen, again, I would love to hear comments from BNI members. What have you done to expedite the VCP process without turning the wine into vinegar, without pushing it too quickly, as Emory suggested in his podcast a few weeks ago? That’s all I have for today, Priscilla. Thank you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Perfect. Thank you. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Morgan Rothwell of D&M Creative Limited in Lancashire joins Dr. Misner to talk about the importance of branding and to introduce the new BNIBranding.com website to members.

Here are some of the advantages of successful branding.

• Branding influences buying decisions.
• Branding creates new customers
• Branding creates loyalty.
• Branding gives you a competitive advantage.
• Branding helps grow your business.

If you want to learn more about branding, Dr. Misner recommends the book Do You Matter?

How can branding build your chapter? BNI is unique among other organizations, but without a consistent visual identity, we didn’t have the visibility and recognizability of a really great brand.

Now individual members and chapters can download BNI logos and other artwork from BNIBranding.com to use on their websites and display publicly to proclaim their BNI membership.

If you want to know why it’s so important to use these official logos, imagine what it would be like if you had 40,000 clients and they all wanted to create their own versions of your logo.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 254 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week, I am in Spokane and Portland visiting BNI members in those two areas. It’s going to be great to meet a lot of new members. As you can tell, I have been doing a lot of traveling this year and having the chance to meet a lot of BNI members.

Priscilla:
Who do you have on the podcast with us today?

Ivan:
Today I have a special guest, Morgan Rothwell. Morgan is the co-owner of D & M Creative Ltd. It is a full service marketing and advertising design firm. Typical projects that they do include corporate identities, brochures, websites- that kind of thing. Morgan attends the University of Manchester. He is an assistant BNI director in BNI Lancashire. He is the person responsible for the new branding. He is the person that the organization selected to do the new branded look.

If you have been a member of BNI for a few years, you may have noticed that all of our content visually has changed. He is the man behind all of that. We are real believers in using BNI members whenever possible with everything we do. Morgan was the person we chose to do the new BNI brand.
Morgan, welcome to the podcast and let me start by saying thank you for all the work that you do to create the new brand.

Morgan:
Thank you very much, Ivan. I appreciate it. Thank you for the opportunity to do the work.

Ivan:
It’s been fun working with you. You are going to talk about three things today. Benefits of branding to a business- why branding is important. You are going to talk about how strong branding builds BNI chapters. Then we are going to spend most of our time talking about a new website that is available to members, BNIbranding.com.

With that, Morgan, why don’t you get started and talk briefly about the benefits of branding to any business, whether it is BNI or whatever the individual members do and why that is important.

Morgan:
Thank you very much, Ivan. I think one of the key things that I would like to say first of all about branding is that branding creates emotional responses. What branding can do for a business is actually influence the decisions that people make when they are deciding whether or not to purchase from one supplier or another supplier. One of the other key aspects is that it creates loyalty. So branding can create not just a customer that will just buy once but repeat customers. It can also create customers who refer customers to businesses. Those are some key aspects of branding.

Along with that is that it gives competitive advantage. You can look at some of the figures from around the world. If you take the world’s largest brand, which is Apple at the moment, if you think of the people who use Apple products, quite often they have very emotional attachments to those products. For example, with a mobile phone they will call it an iPhone as opposed to just a mobile phone.

Very often, once companies get a strong brand, you will see that people get very strongly attached to those brands. There are all kinds of influences it can show on the course of an organization. It can create great impression. One of the aspects I think it is important to discuss early on in the podcast is the actually new branding force that we have helped develop with BNI back in 2010. The fact that BNI provides local businesses with a global network- the new BNI branding allows localization right down to the chapter level.

I mentioned right from the start that Apple has a massive brand presence and massive emotional attachment. Branding at a local level for a micro business within a 50-mile radius is just as important for that business as it is for Apple because within that 50 mile radius, it’s important that the people who are potential customers understand the real brand force that is behind that particular business.

So just to underline the key benefits of branding to a business, talking generally to chapter members of their own businesses, I have to say that it can really influence the decisions of your customers, it can create new customers. It can create loyalty and ultimately, it can help grow your business.

Ivan:
Let me just jump in real quick before you go to the next subject. There is a book I recommend BNI members to read. It is called Do You Matter? By Stewart Emory. Stewart is a great friend of mine and of BNI’s. He talks about the great Apple brand. The other thing is that branding begins, I think, with a visual look. That is a large piece of the work that you have done, the visual look. How does that help building chapters, which is your second topic. How do you build strong chapters with the brand and visual look that we have created?

Morgan:
I think one of the things that I can reflect on how we can build chapters goes back to when my business partner and myself started the business around 10 years ago. We were looking for a networking event. At the time, there were so few networking events around. It was a quite a limited choice, and the obvious choice, we felt, was BNI. But now, in our market, I can think of more than10 networking events every single week within a 10 mile radius of our offices.

So to start with, there is a lot of competition now for what people perceive as being networking or what they perceive as being business referral organizations. Now, BNI is absolutely unique within marketplace because of the agenda, because of the focus on business referrals. The branding can really help underpin this because strong branding within the chapters and use in the materials will attract good quality members because they will see that this is a quality organization.

On top of that, the brand philosophy as I mentioned toward the start, talking about the local businesses within the global network, that’s reflected across all the branding. So while it can be localized to the chapter level, people that visit the groups, new members and existing members understand that it’s linked in to a much bigger organization. That gives people confidence and credibility. It gives BNI credibility as it runs in the local market.

Ivan:
Recognizability is also important. We need to jump to the third topic, but I just want to say that recognizability- because before we implemented the design that you helped develop, I could get on the internet and go to 10 different websites and see no consistency in the logo. No consistency. So the public would look at 10 different websites and have no idea it was the same company. Today, we are moving in the direction of having the same visual look all around the world, which any good brand should always have. That is one of the big key points for a successful chapter, to have the same visual look as other BNI chapters so it makes it easy for people to recognize the BNI brand. You agree, I’m sure- yes?

Morgan:
Absolutely 100% agree. That leads into the third topic, which is one of the key points that we wanted to talk about.

Ivan:
We’ve got about three or four minutes. So let’s talk about BNIbranding.com because this is where the rubber meets the road for the local BNI member use BNIbranding.com?

Morgan:
I think one of the first things I’d say about BNIbranding.com is if a member, if one of the leadership team of the chapters is at BNIbranding.com, one of the key things that they will see on that if they click on one of they key sections, which is Official Logos, we’ve got an array of logos in formats that are very useable for social media. We have a section on there that people can download a logo that is specifically made for social media. We have the guidelines on it as well so that it will be implemented properly.

One of the other things that we have member artwork. For a long time, people have been asking for some sort of emblem that they can use on their websites, business cards, vehicles- that show their membership that they are proud of. So on BNIbranding.com, under the Official Logos, you can see quite clearly the “Proud Member” logo and also the guidelines. Again, that will help them promote the BNI name.

There are also a number of resources on there. For example, if chapter members go to the Chapter Resource section, they can access the branding standards and guidelines so every single chapter member and very single director can have on their file on their computer because this is the real guide for how to use BNI branding. It’s available. The chapter actually has a resource and access to resource. For example, if there is a chapter business card, if they would like some material to promote their chapter, it’s good quality. It meets all the guidelines. They can actually access it through this website.

It’s a fantastic opportunity, not only to get material that is approved and we know that it’s good quality material. But it’s a good opportunity for them to download materials that have been tried and tested around the world and that we know will help to grow their chapters. There are some great materials on there to access.

You mentioned about the logo, Ivan, and recognizability and the fact that it needs to be consistent. We know that the logos on this website are absolutely 100% easy to use. Chapters will ensure they are using the right material. It’s a great resource to visit and it’s a great resource to download materials. If chapters are looking to grow and promote themselves within the area, they are really looking to make themselves stand out against the local competition.

Ivan:
Let me just jump in because we are about out of time. I want to put this in perspective for the average member listening to this because oftentimes, they will want to produce a product or printout. They will either slap the letters on without the logo or they will create- this always amazes me- they will create their own version of the logo. I have a two part question for you, Morgan. How would you feel if one of your clients decided to change the D&M Creative Ltd logo? For whatever reason they want. They have a good reason, but they want to do it themselves because they don’t like yours. I think your laugh is a good response, probably.

Morgan:
Yeah. I would not be happy about it to be honest.

Ivan:
Of course not. So what I am asking members to do is think about it. Fill in the blank with your company name. Whatever company you run- imagine you had 140,000 clients and that they all wanted to do a different variation of your logo and your brand. That would make it very difficult to run the business. That is the challenge we have if we don’t use the BNI brand consistently. By the way, there are other issues like being able to maintain the trademark. You can’t maintain a trademark unless you have consistent application of the trademark.So there are legal issues, but from a branding perspective, it’s so important to have consistent use.

What Morgan and his team have done with the help of BNI HQ here and our communications people, is put together this great website, BNIbranding.com. It has everything you need to know about using the BNI brand in the proper way which will help you to grow your local chapter.

We really appreciate the work that you have done, Morgan. Any last comment before I wrap up?

Morgan:
The last thing I would like to say, Ivan, and underpin is please visit the website. Use the website. Use it as a tool to help grow your chapter because ultimately, that will help grow everybody’s business within your chapter.

Ivan:
That is definitely our goal. BNIbranding.com. Morgan Rothwell, thank you so much for everything you have done for the organization. What is your website, Morgan?

Morgan:
Our website is www.dandmcreative.com

Ivan:
Again, Morgan, thank you so much for helping us out with this. Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Perfect.Thank you so much, both of you. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Emory Cowan of BNI Colorado joins Dr. Misner for today’s podcast. He tells a story about the time he tried to make peach wine from some leftover Georgia peaches, following a recipe from his parents’ farm. After a few weeks he got impatient and tried to help the process along by putting everything in a blender. Just three days later he had…peach vinegar.

Relationships are like wine. They can’t be rushed. People want things immediately in this society, but if we try to force relationships, they turn sour. It takes 7 years for a good Burgundy or Cabernet to mature; a good business relationship doesn’t develop instantaneously.

This story is in the book Masters of Networking under “Drink No Wine Before Its Time.”

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 253 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week I am in Indianapolis meeting BNI members. It’s an area I like to go to, and I look forward to meeting a lot of members here at the event. I know our guest here is leaving for London today and will be at the UK National Conference this week as well. So we really like to get out to as many members as possible to visit people all around the world.

Priscilla:
That’s great. So what does peach wine have to do with networking?

Ivan:
Peach wine and networking. What in the world do they have in common? My guest here today is going to tell us that. Emory Cowen is a psychotherapist, educators, NY Times best selling author. HE is an entrepreneur. He is an army combat veteran. He has lived in several countries, traveled extensively throughout the world. He is a marriage and family counselor and was the president and CEO of a graduate school of psychology for ten years. Emory is the Executive Director and co-owner of BNI Colorado and SE Wyoming. He has served on the BNI International Founders Circle and currently serves on the International Franchise Advisory Board. I consider him not only a great director in the organization but a close personal friend. He is going to talk to us about peach wine and networking. One of my favorite stories about relationship building.

Emory, it is a pleasure to have you on the podcast. Tell us what peach wine and networking have in common.

Emory:
Thanks, Ivan. It’s an honor for me to share this story, and I appreciate you asking me. This is a true story. Something that happened to me a few years ago. I was living in Atlanta GA and I went to the famous Atlanta market. I bought about a peck of peaches, which is about a fourth of a bushel, I think. Those Fork Valley southern Georgia peaches that have such a wonderful aroma. I had visions of peach pie and peach cobbler and ate a couple of them and the rest sat out on the kitchen counter for a few days.

One morning I woke up to the aroma of peaches and I thought I’ll make some peach wine. I had never done that before but I had an old family recipe. My parents lived on a farm about 15 miles away, and I went out to the farm and got an old ceramic pot. On the way back, I got some cheesecloth and sugar and yeast. I went home, cut up the peaches, put them in the crock, and put all of the ingredients in. I took that crock down to my basement while it was cool.

Every afternoon I would come home thinking about peach wine. I would go to the basement, smell it, and see what was happening. That went on for quite a while but I started feeling impatient. I could taste that wine. I wanted that wine. I wanted it now. Those afternoons were kind of torturous. One afternoon I decided that I was going to help the process along. I carried the crock up to the kitchen, put everything in a blender, blended it up, emulsified it some more. I put in some more sugar and yeast in the process. I put the cheesecloth back on and took it back to the basement. In just three short days, I had vinegar.

Ivan:
The best peach vinegar in Atlanta, wasn’t it?

Emory:
But there aren’t many uses for strawberry vinegar. It was pretty sour. It was ruined.

Ivan:
Listen, before you jump into your points here, I just want to say I think this is one of the best stories that I have ever heard and a perfect metaphor for what you can do to a relationship. This is really about networking and if you push a relationship too fast,you can have a great wine turn into vinegar. I just think it’s a great parable for this whole podcast.

Emory:
You are exactly right. It has become something of a parable for me, a phenomenal logical experience. There were three points that I learned from this experience as I have reflected on it over the years. We live in a quick fix, instant communication, immediate gratification society. When you think about it, there are some real benefits to that.

I grew up in a time when there were no fast food restaurants. Imagine not being able to go to an In and Out when you wanted to or to a McDonalds or Starbucks and get a cup of coffee when you want it. I grew up in time when the news was slow getting to us. I don’t want to have to wait for news to arrive by horseback, but as recently as WWII, people got their evening news by watching news on reels that had been flown back from the news front.

Today we are almost overloaded with info from the most remote part of the earth. Immediately available to us. When you think about lifesaving medical care, it’s just a few minutes away for most of us, not days or weeks away. It’s one of the benefits, but the challenge is that we have been taught and perhaps conditioned to get what we want now. Not next week, not next month, not next year, not when we can afford it, but right now. You know part of the financial problems that many people are in in our country are in is because of credit that has been readily available and we can just borrow or charge and buy what we want when we want it.

Ivan:
Emory, how does that tie into- I couldn’t agree with you more and I think you are absolutely correct. I think the current financial crisis that the world has gone through, how do relationships fit into this, which is your second point?

Emory:
It’s the same mindset. Our desire for instant gratification extends to relationships. We think we can create them at will. Relationships, however, are somewhat magical and mystical. They can’t be rushed. I know you are a connoisseur of fine wines. Making wine takes time. Relationships need to ferment, to come together to mature and develop.

Yet, what we see today is the same principle applied to relationships with speed dating events, or even networking events. I am always amazed- this has happened to me so many times that I quit counting- people leaving their BNI chapter after one or two months because they haven’t gotten enough referrals or made enough money.

The truth is that relationships are like making wine. There is a chemical process that takes place or doesn’t take place. Relationships that last take time to ferment, develop and age. Relationships are far more about chemistry than we realize.

Ivan:
Explain that. You have a PhD in psychology, led the school of psychology for ten years in Colorado. Explain that.

Emory:
There are some interesting studies now. The Goldman study on emotional intelligence- this whole idea of immediate gratification, a lot of Stanford studies with kids looking at the way kids need immediate gratification now, and the inability to put off long term goals, wanting things immediately. It’s just a part of what we have been conditioned to in a fast paced society, to try to create something that is immediate and we delude ourselves into thinking it’s real.

For example, one point I have is every time I have been tempted to rush this process and try to create instant relationships, it hasn’t turned to rich wine. It’s turned pretty much into sour vinegar. This is a lesson that I am still learning and I have to keep in my consciousness and recently in business I ascribed more to a relationship and trusted a person too soon just because I wanted it to be a good relationship. I disregarded my own sage advice if you will and forced the process and got a very bad business outcome and relationship.

As I said, this is a lesson. It’s a parable for us. It’s not something we have definitely overcome immediately because of the society in which we live. We need to keep conscious this idea that you can’t force relationships. You have to nurture and provide all the ingredients and let time work this process.

Ivan:
We’re about out of time, Emory. Any closing thoughts before I wrap up?

Emory:
A closing thought- and this whole story is in Masters of Networking. We published that when? In 2000, right?

Ivan:
Yeah. 2000. So for anyone who would like to get the actual story, it’s in the book Masters of Networking.

Emory:
The whole story is simply drink no wine before its time. Things have to mature, age and develop in process when they are related to other people and relationships.

Ivan:
I think it’s a great metaphor. If you want a great cabernet or burgandy, you are looking at 7 years- it varies from wine to wine, but it takes time for it to mature to its peak. I think relationships are very much like that. It still applies within BNI, where people expect these quick responses and have these get rich quick scheme ideas and just give it a couple months and expect a lot of business. It’s all about the relationship. Relationships take time.

This is such a great story. Listeners, you can find it in Masters of Networking. It is the article that is written by Emory Cowan in the book. We hope you enjoy it. Emory, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I really appreciate it. I love the story and love how it fits with networking and BNI being more about farming than hunting. Thank you for being on.

Emory:
Thank you, Ivan.

Ivan:
Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay. That’s great. What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing that. I think that is it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 65, originally recorded in 2008.

This week Dr. Misner describes a unique experience: a meeting about storytelling. Academy Award-winning movie producer Peter Guber invited about 16 people, including Dr. Misner and individuals such as Warren Bennis, one of the world’s foremost experts on leadership; Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone; and Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, as well as many other “storytellers” from various businesses, backgrounds and areas of expertise.

One lesson particularly appropriate to BNI is that “What if?” is more powerful in a story than “How to.” Make your messages personal and concrete. Think about this next time you give a presentation at a BNI meeting.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Read the complete transcript on the post for Episode 65.

Every contact you have with someone is a chance to either construct or de-construct a relationship. Be sparing about the way you criticize people, especially if you don’t know them well. Before you either press the “Send” button or open your mouth to criticize, ask yourself

1. Is your criticism unsolicited? Unsolicited advice, especially from people you don’t know, is rarely appreciated.
2. Do you know the person to whom you’re sending the criticism? If not, why are you really sending it?
3. Is it your intention to give constructive suggestions, or just to vent? If it’s to vent, tell a friend who loves you instead.
4. Does this communication help construct a relationship? Remember what your mother said: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

How have you handled unsolicited criticism?

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 251 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. I am in Kansas City visiting BNI members. It is my first time being here in many, many years. I am looking forward to meeting all of the members here. I have a fun topic here, and before we jump into the topic, I wanted to mention that this last week was our 250th episode. It is true, and Priscilla, it is a real pleasure working with you. I have enjoyed doing these podcasts with you over the years. You do a great job.

Priscilla:
Thank you, Ivan. That is so sweet.

Ivan:
There is a lot of content. This is 251 episodes. That is a lot of content open to members. I love it when I visit regions like here in Kansas City, where people come up to me and say, “I listened to your podcast on [topic] and it was really helpful.” I am really happy to continue to do these.

Today is an interesting topic. It is a little bit of a rant. Are you ready for a rant?

Priscilla:
Okay, Ivan, I’m ready.

Ivan:
Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated. I recently received an unsolicited email from a man named Chris. I am not going to go into the details of it. I didn’t know who this man was. He slammed me on a video that I did. I wrote him back and said thanks for his comments I appreciated it. What I felt like saying was, “Hi. I’m Ivan. I’m sorry, who are you? Do we know each other?”

I had never met him. Never talked to him. Why he would feel compelled to send a critical email, I just cannot fathom never having met somebody and doing that. But I am thankful to Chris, and I will tell you why I am thankful. It gives me the opportunity to talk about relationships and networking.

Every time you communicate with someone, especially the first time, there is a chance to either construct or deconstruct a relationship. This was the first time that I had ever heard from this gentleman, and I would have to say that the first time wasn’t very constructive. I am not sure what possesses people sometimes- particularly, to send unsolicited criticism to people they don’t know. It seems to be happening more and more in this digital world. I can’t imagine that Chris would have the hutzpah to say something like this if he were face to face with someone. But in the digital world, it’s right with cyber-critics. They can say pretty much whatever they want and feel removed from the situation because of the internet.

I think one of the reasons that they do that is they are possibly outside my striking zone. They say things like that and can get away with it because they are not standing in front of someone. Even if you are standing in front of someone, it’s really important to think about what you say to someone- especially if you don’t know them well.

I really think if you want to succeed in life, you want to focus on making your business better rather than criticizing other businesses. You have to be sparing in the way that you criticize others. That is the same in the context of BNI because every week we are meeting with our fellow BNI members. Every week, we can either help to construct a better relationship or deconstruct the relationship.

Sometimes, even in a face to face environment, even though it is easier digitally, people will say things that are really unsolicited and rarely appreciated. What I wanted to do, and I wrote about this is a blog recently, is talk about the four things I recommend before you either press the send button or make the statement that you are about to make to somebody regarding criticism that was not solicited.

Now, if somebody asks what you think of their new brochure, that is different than you walking up to them and that their brochure sucks. That is different. If somebody asks, I get it.

Number one, is your criticism unsolicited? Unsolicited advice, especially from people you don’t know is rarely appreciated by anybody.

Two, do you know the person to whom you are sending the criticism? If not, why are you really sending it? If you are talking to someone and you are going to criticize them, why are you telling them that- other than to get it off your chest and put it onto their shoulders?

Three, whether you know them or not, is it your intention to give constructive suggestion, otherwise known as meaningful, specific positive ideas, or do you just want to vent about something that you don’t like? If it is to vent, here is my suggestion: tell a friend who loves you. The person that you are going to vent on, leave them alone. Tell someone who loves and cares about you because this person doesn’t know you and is not going to receive your unsolicited advice well.

If you do send a communication or give communication, make sure that it helps to construct a relationship not deconstruct it. If it is the latter, remember mom’s advice. Pricsilla, mom was always right, right?

Priscilla:
Not my mom but maybe some moms.

Ivan:
My mom was almost always right. One of the things she told me was if you don’t have anything good to say, say nothing at all. I think that is really good advice, especially if you want to build a relationship. If you want to construct a relationship, you have to do that. If you want to tear down a relationship, criticize away. Just remember that nobody has ever built a statue to a critic.

It’s easy to tell other people what they are doing wrong. It’s hard to do the right thing yourself. I would love to hear in this podcast today, those of you who are listening to this podcast, how you have responded when you have received unsolicited criticism, what you think about it and how you think you should handle it, particularly. You can do it in any context, but particularly in the BNI context. If somebody in your BNI group gives you unsolicited criticism, how would you handle it? I would love to see great suggestions from members all over the world on how to hand this particular issue.

The more digital we become, the easier it is to lose touch with those relationships that we have. So learning how to work with each other and build those relationships is more important than ever. I would love to hear comments on this one.

Priscilla:
Okay, I just have one question for you. If you get some negative advice that is unsolicited, how do you shake it off? I don’t know about you, but I bet you don’t take it in too deeply. But sometimes people, especially like myself- it gets inside of you and you start thinking about it all the time. It definitely affects your move, whatever it is that you were thinking about doing next. You hear that critic in your head. So what do you do with that?

Ivan:
That’s a great question. Here is the advice that I have when people talk about me. The people who think you walk on water and the people who think you are the Antichrist are both wrong. The reality is somewhere in between. There are going to be people who don’t believe your breath- and you have heard that before. It’s so true because especially people who don’t know you don’t know what the truth is so they are taking a shot. You do have to have a little bit of a thick skin when people do something like that.

The way I like to deal with it is I’ll blog about it. Or I will do a podcast about it. I try to take that and turn it into a learning lesson. Not everybody writes, but that’s my deal. If something happens and I think I could turn that into a lesson for business people, that’s what I do.

For people who are not writing about it, I think it is good to have a good friend to talk to and then let it go. You know, just let it go. You can’t believe the people who criticize and you can’t believe the people who think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. The truth lies somewhere in between. You know who you are. Go with that and don’t let the criticism get you down.

Priscilla:
Okay, good advice. Thanks, Ivan.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Is that it?

Ivan:
That’s it for today. I’ll give some more thought to- you know, that’s a great question. For those listening, what do you do when you get this kind of feedback? For me, I write a podcast or blog and talk about it. What do you do? How do you let it go because you can’t just take it all in and end up seething. There is probably not enough Zanex in the world to take care of the anxiety from people unloading on you. So what do you do, listeners? I would love to hear about that. That’s a great question. Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

A member recently asked Dr. Misner why you can’t belong to two BNI chapters or two groups like BNI.

This is a more important issue than people realize at first.

In 1985 and 1986 BNI allowed members to belong to two groups. It was a DISASTER. The Board of Advisors received floods of complaints from members. The divided loyalties of members who belonged to more than one group created serious trust issues in both chapters.

A few years later, a member asked why BNI members were allowed to belong to organizations that competed with BNI (other referral networks) if they weren’t allowed to belong to two BNI groups, since that created the same problem of split loyalties.

The only person who benefits from being in two groups is that individual member. The other members of the groups benefit more from having all their members fully committed to them.

If you’re not sure that belonging to competing groups is a bad idea, the next time you’re at your BNI meeting, look to your left. Look to your right. Imagine those people are in another BNI chapter with your profession represented in it. Who is going to get the referrals?

Leave a comment and tell us how you would feel in this situation.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 250 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla, and I have an interesting topic.

Priscilla:
Okay. Tell us about it.

Ivan:
When is two not better than one? Two of everything is always better, right?

Priscilla:
More is better, right?

Ivan:
Well, not on this topic. I was recently asked a question by a BNI member as to why we can’t belong to BNI chapters or why we can’t belong to two groups like BNI. Here is sort of an edited version of my response. I hope this is of value to BNI members as to why this policy exists. There is really a long history relating to this issue, and it’s important to frame the reason why this is such an important issue. The reason for framing it is that people don’t really care about the how until they understand why. Once they understand why it makes more sense as to how to do something.

Here is why you can’t be in two BNI groups or two groups like BNI: In 1985 and 1986, we actually allowed members of BNI to belong to two BNI chapters. Did you know that?

Priscilla:
No, I had no idea.

Ivan:
You could. You could belong to two groups. It was a disaster. It was a huge disaster. There were so many complains that when I created the board of advisers in 1986- remember this is created of BNI members- one of the first things they did was vote on this policy that I had created that you could belong to two BNI chapters. They thought it created animosity among members because a BNI member was splitting his or her loyalty between the two BNI groups. Back then, there were more complaints among members on this one issue than any other issue in the organization, including attendance.

Priscilla:
That makes sense.

Ivan:
In retrospect, everything is 20/20. When I look at this, I think that was a really dumb idea that I had. There were some stipulations. They couldn’t be side by side. They had to be a significant distance from each other, but it was really all irrelevant. It all came down to split loyalties. The answer seemed really obvious to the board of advisers. Allowing someone to belong to two BNI chapters split their loyalties and created serious trust issues in the affected group. So one of the very first policies that the board created was that you can’t belong to two BNI groups.

Now fast forward a few years. In the early 1990′s the board of advisers met to address a complaint from a BNI member on a somewhat related issue. Here is a quote of what he said to me, “If BNI doesn’t allow someone to be a member of two BNI groups, why in the world would BNI allow a member to belong to one BNI group and another group just like BNI but that competes with BNI? What’s the difference and why would we allow it? Isn’t it the same thing as allowing somebody to be in two BNI groups?

I thought, wow, that is an interesting comment. So I presented that to the board of advisers. They heard the argument and discussed it for a very long time. In the end, they completely agreed. That night, in my home in the early ’90s- that was the first office for BNI and we ran BNI out of my house. Now BNI is in a 33,000 sq ft building, but back then, BNI was run out of a couple spare bedrooms of my house.

The board of advisers decided that we should create a policy that a BNI member could not belong to two BNI groups and couldn’t belong to two strong contact groups like BNI for the same reason that you can’t belong to two BNI groups. They felt it would split the loyalties to belong to two groups like BNI. They felt that if we don’t allow members to be in two BNI groups, it makes even less sense to allow them to be in other groups just like BNI. This was a decision made by the board of advisers, members of BNI, back in the early ’90s.

One of the main arguments that was made by the board of advisers on this issue was that the person who benefits most from this arrangement of being in two groups is only the person who is in two groups. The other people in those groups would benefit most by having someone who is dedicated to them and not splitting their commitment. Does that makes sense?

It was a really tough discussion. Again, these were members who made this decision. They really felt is was best for the entire group because they really felt if we let people belong to multiple BNI chapters or groups like BNI, it weakens the loyalty in good groups made up of committed members and it will take a potentially strong chapter and make it mediocre.

Here is my guiding principle on that concept of making something mediocre. Why let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option? Don’t let a few people determine the success of the whole chapter. Stand tall as a group and make the decision to have a better group. Don’t let people talk you into being in two groups of BNI or two groups like BNI.

It was policy number 16 that exists today that addresses this issue now. It says that membership committees have authority in this area. Here is something really interesting, Priscilla, somebody recently asked me, “Okay, so membership committees have authority. Can they ignore it?” The short answer is the definitive answer. No. They can’t ignore it.

The police have full authority when someone robs a bank. Does this mean it is okay for them to ignore it? No, it means they are charged with enforcing the law.

So policy number 16 as written currently by the board of advisers means that the membership committee is charged with doing the right thing and enforcing the rule within the group, not ignoring the rule. Remember, you can never go wrong by doing the right thing. The right thing in a strong contact networking group like BNI is expecting support by the people that are in the room. It is obvious that being in two BNI groups is a bad idea. We have history that bears that out. It is no different from being in two groups like BNI. If you expect excellence, commitment, and accountability you can achieve success. If you allow yourself to be talked into mediocrity, you then strive to be average.

The way this often happens is that people try to talk other members of the group into thinking it’s okay. It’s no big deal. They are in this other group and it’s fine. But that has a big impact on the group. It’s not easy to stand up for what is in the best interest of a trusting group of referral partners. But that is what chapters need to do in order to achieve success. Share with members why this type of loyalty within a BNI group is so important. I would urge people in chapters who are listening to this podcast to share it with other members.

If you are listening to it and are not sure that this is a good idea and think that it’s a bad idea and you should be in other groups just like BNI, the next time that you are in your BNI meeting, look to your left and look to your right. Imagine that those people in your BNI meeting are in another BNI chapter and those groups, other BNI chapters, have your profession represented in them. How do you feel about this idea now? That changes everything, doesn’t it? When you look to your left and you look to your right and you think this guy is going to a meeting tomorrow with a bunch of BNI people and are making the same promises and commitment that they are making here today, guess what. No they are not. They are going to split the amount of referrals, which by the way, was the issue.

Two things were happening. They would either split the referrals and give half to one and half to the other, which isn’t bad- or they would do something worse. They would give both to both. Can you imagine getting a referral from somebody and they are also giving that referral to somebody else in another BNI group? That is the reason why years ago, the board of advisers said that you can’t be in two BNI groups. And a few years later, they said it’s really no different when you’re in another group just like BNI.

It’s a tough policy. In previous podcasts, we have talked about accountability. This is one example of it. Is it easy? No. Is it the right thing to do for the good of the whole group? Yes. It might not be the right thing for an individual person who would like to be in 3,4,5, or 6 groups because that would be a lot of business- and they would give everyone else some business and spread it around, but at a very small percentage.

So the only person it would benefit is the person who is in multiple groups. The whole does not benefit. That is when two is not better than one.

Priscilla:
Okay, now I am going to interrupt and ask a question. I know how some people get around this. They have a partner in their business and the partner is in another group. What do you think about that?

Ivan:
That’s interesting. I’m not sure I would call that getting around it. That came up a lot in the initial discussion. I am married and have a wife. I’ve been married 23 years. She has a whole different set of contacts than I have. Now we are talking about partners who are generally not spouses, but sometimes are. Those partners have a whole different set of contacts. So the discussion was about two different people with two separate sets of contacts. Do some of those contacts overlap Yes. But do all of those contacts overlap? Absolutely not. You can make that argument not just with a partner but with a spouse.

All I have to do is walk in the neighborhood. If I am walking in the neighborhood with Elizabeth, everyone is like, “Hi Elizabeth!” and “It’s good to see you, Elizabeth.” I’m like, you know those people? Oh yeah, they are the neighbor or they live a few blocks down. So she has contacts that I don’t have. I have contacts that she doesn’t have.

Priscilla:
So you think that’s okay.

Ivan:
Yeah, the board thought that was okay because you have two individuals with two sets of contacts. But one person has the same contacts and having them go to two different groups is going to substantially reduce the amount of referrals. Plus, a partner may have a referral that they would give without ever talking to the other partner. So yes, a partner is acceptable but the same person is not.

Priscilla:
Okay. That makes sense.

Ivan:
It was a good question.

Priscilla:
Well good. I think that makes sense. Is there anything else that you want to share with us?

Ivan:
No, I think that is it for today. I know this is a controversial topic. I would ask the BNI members- I always love to get constructive comments on the podcast. We get mostly constructive comments on the podcast. I would love to have people who think about having someone sitting next to you on your left and right and knowing that they belong to another BNI group. How would that make you feel? IT makes sense then that you can’t be in two BNI groups. We learned that years ago. And there’s no difference in being in BNI and a group like BNI.

It’s the hard thing to do but it’s the right thing to do. Don’t let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option. That is all I have for today, Priscilla. Thank you very much.

Priscilla:
You’re welcome. Thank you. That’s it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Tim Paulin from BNI Louisiana Mississipi joins Dr. Misner this week to discuss the four pillars of a successful BNI group:

1. Many (4-7) visitors or guests at each meeting. Not all of them have to qualify to join: bring people who can do business with members.
2. A well-run professional meeting. Pay special attention to the hidden elements. (See Episode 9 and Episode 16 for more about these.)
3. Follow-up post meeting. The leadership team needs to follow up with visitors and guests, and members need to follow up about the business they’ve passed.
4. Accountability for the chapter members. One of the most important parts of accountability is attendance, and it’s up to the membership committee to maintain this.

If you can do these four things well, you’ll have a successful chapter.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 249 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi, Priscilla. I’m doing great. I got to do a webcam with your chapter recently. I really appreciate the opportunity to do that.

Priscilla:
That was really fun. They loved it. So thank you.

Ivan:
I do that with a lot of- usually regional- events, but Priscilla- She’s my lady. I have to do that for her chapter itself. I do it for a lot of regional and sometimes chapter visitors days. Talk to your local director if you would like me to do some kind of webcam like I did with Priscilla’s chapter.

Priscilla:
Oh yeah. I highly recommend it. So who is with us today, Ivan?

Ivan:
A good friend of mine. Just to answer the second part of your question, I am in San Diego this week. As the listeners know, I like to let members know that I am out visiting regions and trying to meet as many members as possible. If I come to your area, please come visit and say hello because I love to meet BNI members. I have with me today Tim Paulin. Tim is the Executive Director for BNI in LA and MS. He and his team manage over 50 BNI groups. He is the US National Training Director and has been doing that for about 7 years. Tim went to the University of New Orleans focusing on business administration. He is a native of New Orleans. He currently resides there with his lovely wife Elizabeth, whom I know. My wife is Elizabeth as well, so don’t confuse the two. But he and his wife have twin boys, God bless you. Tim is a great trainer and a good friend. His topic today is the four pillars of the successful BNI group. Welcome to the podcast, Tim.

Tim:
Thank you. Ivan I appreciate it. You know, Ivan, when we first announced that we were having twins, you looked at me and said, “Sleep now because you won’t once they are born.”Man, you were right. I haven’t slept in 8 years.

Ivan:
I know, it’s really bad. Then when they become teenagers, believe it or not, it’s even worse.

Tim:
I’ll have to wait for that. We are going to talk today about the four pillars of the successful BNI group.

Ivan:
Let me just throw the four out there and then you jump in and hit them one at a time. First one is many visitors each week. Second one is a well-run professional meeting. The third one is a follow up, a post meeting. The last is accountability for the chapter members. Those are the four pillars that Tim has put together. I love them. Jump in on the first one, Tim.

Tim:
Many guests, many visitors at a chapter meeting each week. I go around and do this presentation to many chapters and I like to ask them what does many visitors mean to you? Ivan, I will ask you what would many visitors mean to you at a chapter meeting?

Ivan:
It’s a variable. If you are having a visitor’s day, clearly it would be larger. If you are a chapter of 50 members, it would be larger than if you were a chapter of 20 members. Let’s assume a chapter of about 23 members, which is the statistical average right now worldwide. To me, many visitors would be 4-7. 4 on the low side. 7 on the slightly higher side. That would be a lot of visitors for a 23 member chapter. That would be incredible.

Tim:
Absolutely. 4-7 people and not all of the visitors have to qualify for membership. That’s one of the things that we have tried to give to the chapters. Bring guests. Bring people that can do business with the members of the chapter. If you stop focusing on folks that can join the chapter and just bring people who can do business with the members of the chapter, you can get that many each week.

Ivan:
I think differentiating between a visitor and a guest is probably not a bad idea. A visitor, to me, is a prospective member. A guest is somebody who really isn’t a prospective member. That might be an interesting way to differentiate between the two in my opinion.

Tim:
Absolutely. Once you have many visitors and guests in the room, we have to run a professional meeting, a well-run put together agenda that is provided by BNI with a special attention that is paid to the hidden element of the BNI chapter meeting. I know that is one of your favorite topics, Ivan, as it relates to our agenda. Do you want to talk about the hidden elements for a sec?

Ivan:
Yeah, that is a passion of mine. The hidden elements. Let me recommend for listeners of the podcast to go back to episode number 16, which was done a few years ago, where I talk about the hidden elements. You can find if you are on the leadership team and have the agenda there, all of the agenda items with an asterisk, which represents an item which is a hidden element. A hidden element is something that is much deeper than it sounds like.

For example, the visitor host is a much more complex topic than just having someone welcome visitors. I can’t in five minutes explain what it is, so I would refer people to episode 16. That will give a really good sense of an important thing that makes a really big difference in the chapter, the hidden elements.

Tim:
Absolutely. We talk about everything from entering the meeting 15 minutes prior to the start of the meeting, being there, being prepared to welcome your guests and your visitors through open networking and through each point of the agenda, taking special attention and care to introduce that portion of the agenda, run it professional, and as the meeting concludes, to make sure that we are doing a great, spectacular orientation with our visitors and guests and offering them the opportunity to be considered for membership by filling out an application.

Ivan:
Orientation is so important. I agree completely.

Tim:
It absolutely is. Often people will say, “Come back next week and visit with us and check us out again.” I have heard you say, Ivan, that is like an insurance salesman getting to the end of the presentation and saying, “Okay. I’ll come back next week to see what you think.”

Ivan:
“I’ll come back next week, and do the entire same presentation,” which is really crazy. By the way, it was an insurance agent who told me to stop doing that because that’s what it sounded like when I was doing it. I was like, wow, you’re right. Thank you.

Tim:
We have to make sure that we pay special attention to that professionally run meeting. There is a value there for the members and the guests and the visitors each and every week.

Ivan:
Let me just say one last thing, because I know you have to move on to the third item. You can have a ton of visitors, but if you run a lousy meeting, what good is any visitors? Professionally run, that is the core of a good BNI group- running a great meeting.

Tim:
So with number 3, as that meeting concludes, our job is follow up. Not only is a chapter, leadership team and members to follow up with the visitors and guests to answer any questions that they might have, to invite them back for a second look at our chapter meeting, but also for our members to follow up with each other about the business that was passed at the chapter meeting that week. Make sure that you are following up on the referrals that you received, that you are following up on the referrals that you have given to make sure that the person that you have referred gets the right care and the right treatment from your BNI members. Follow up is key to success in this organization.

Ivan:
Very true, and it’s key to success in developing a personal referral network.

Tim:
Absolutely, so follow up, follow up, follow up. You can’t follow up too much.

Ivan:
Right. That is probably an area that is not done a lot, in terms of following up with visitors.

Tim:
It’s not. One of the things I ask my members is if you gave a referral to someone who didn’t follow up with it, do you give them a second chance? Would you refer them a second time? Most people would not.

With number 4, which is our last pillar of a successful BNI group, we talk about accountability in and around the chapter. Now, the accountability is provided by our membership committee for our chapter. One of the most important things that we are accountable to is attendance. Being there each and every week on time so we can participate in the meeting appropriately. Participating in the meeting appropriately is bringing visitors, bringing guests, bringing referrals, being prepared for your 60-second, being prepared for your 10-minute when it is time to do so. All of these things come into play in that accountability to making sure that everyone in the group is participating and making the group successful comes from the membership committee.

Ivan:
Accountability is so important in a successful group. I have said this a lot of the podcast. One of the strengths of the group is that most of the members are friends, and one of the weaknesses of a group like BNI is most of the members are friends. Friends don’t like to hold each other accountable, but the groups that are most successful are the ones that get it that accountability is key. They have accountability with their groups, including things like attendance.

Tim:
Absolutely. One of my favorite things to work with chapters on is when we have a member who will come and they may be a little out of sorts based on the way things are going on their chapter. The suggestion that I make to folks if they want to make it better is to get involved in the leadership team. Get involved in that membership committee and make sure that your chapter is providing the members what they have paid for, which is the BNI system. That BNI system is all about accountability.

So those are our 4 pillars of our BNI group.

Ivan:
Any closing thoughts?

Tim:
Well, I tell you, the chapters that follow these 4 pillars tend to have more members and more business and more success in their groups. The ones that hit one or two of them don’t have as much success as they could. Implementing all 4 of these into your group is a great way to have success.

Ivan:
Hit all four cylinders on this and you will have a successful chapter. The four, again, are have many visitors, have a well-run professional meeting, utilize the hidden elements and check out episode 16 if you would like to know more about that, follow up after the meeting and accountability. Do those four things, do them well and you are going to have a successful chapter. Tim understands that very well. He is a National Training Director for BNI as well as an Executive Director. Tim Paulin, thank you so much for being on our podcast today. I really appreciate you being here.

Tim:
Absolutely. Thank you for having me, Ivan.

Ivan:
Thanks Tim. Back to you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Thank you both very much. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 107, from 2009.

Dr. Misner shares three networking faux pas that he’s run into over the years.

1. Not responding quickly to referral partners. Don’t put off returning phone calls to your referral partners even if you’re not sure they have a referral for you.
2. Confusing networking with direct selling. Networking isn’t about collecting business cards and then sending them sales pitches or making cold calls.
3. Abusing the relationship. The worst example Dr. Misner is aware of is someone who disguised a sales pitch as a 50th birthday party.

Read Dr. Misner’s complete article on Entrepreneur.com.

What kind of networking faux pas have you encountered? (No names, please!)

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Read the complete transcript of this episode.

Marketing and sales is not something Dr. Misner was always confident about, but he unexpectedly became the marketing manager at a business he worked for, so he started reading and learned on the job. Sometimes our lives and our businesses go in unexpected directions.

The key to success in referral marketing is helping other people do what they do  best. So whatever business you’re in, build your own brand. Name recognition is the biggest challenge for small companies. For Dr. Misner, brand building was about writing (newspaper articles, blogging); for others, it may be video or podcasting. If you demonstrate expertise in your field, people will follow you.

Read Dr. Misner’s Entrepreneur.com post about this topic and tell us how you’re making your mark.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 247 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. Thank you very much. I am here at BNI HQ this week, trying to catch up from the book tour that we are doing. The topic that I have this week, making your mark, is kind of an interesting one. It was my communications rep that suggested it. In the social media, we get a lot of members that like some of the personal stories that we have on either BNI got to where it is or how I went in the direction I did. This is one of those.

There are a lot of entrepreneurs out there that find themselves in a business that they didn’t see themselves in 10 or 20 years ago. Like I say, marketing and sales isn’t something I was always confident about. As a matter of fact, when I started out in business my bachelors degree was in political science. My masters and doctorate was in administration and organizational behavior. I had virtually no experience in marketing. I think it is ironic that I ended up very much in marketing.

What happened that got me into marketing a bit was that I worked for a transportation company in southern CA in the early 80′s. In the first month of the job, my boss asked what I knew about purchasing. I said I didn’t know anything about purchasing. He said, “Well, read some books because in about an hour I am going to fire the purchasing agent for the company and you are now the purchasing agent. You are going to do that and you’re assistant to the president.” I thought okay, I can do that. So I took on purchasing.

Then about a month later, he said, “Ivan, what do you know about marketing?” I said, “Boss, I know less about marketing than I do about purchasing.” He said, “In about an hour, I am going to fire the Director of Marketing Services. You are going to be the manager of marketing services. You had better read up.”

So I found myself for six months as the manager of marketing services. I really didn’t know anything when I took that over. My marketing experience was really trial by fire and it was reading. I just started reading books on marketing, and I just learned as I went. It gave me enough knowledge to do some marketing on my own.

Then when I became a business consultant, I was able to take some of that experience and apply it. It kind of brings me back to where I started. If anybody would have asked me when I was 25 years old in marketing for this company where I saw my career 30 years down the road, I would have had no clue that I would be in marketing and that I would be the founder of the world’s largest referral marketing group.

Sometimes we go in places- this is sort of a message that my communications staff feels would be of value when they talk about the podcast and social media. Sometimes we go in places in life that we never expected to go. That is where I am. I didn’t think that I was going to start the world’s largest referral organization. I am passionate about helping people grow their businesses. I think that is the key to whatever you do. You have to be passionate about helping people grow their businesses, and you achieve great success through referral marketing by helping other people do what they do best.

I think it is really important that whatever business you are in and all the businesses that are represented here in BNI, if I had to give my top marketing tip for you to be successful in whatever it is that you do it would be about building you as a brand. Building your expertise. Your name recognition. I think that is the most important lesson that I learned when I was in my 20′s working for the transportation company and later as I started my consulting company and when I started BNI. It’s building your recognition, you as a brand and your company as a brand.

Name recognition is the biggest challenge, especially for small companies. Especially for entrepreneurs and for sales people of large companies. It’s not the same for everybody because people’s skill sets are different, but for me in my business, brand building was largely about writing. Before the internet, I was trying to get articles in newspapers and magazines. Of course, now, it is a lot easier with blogs and social media. Even small companies and individuals can have a global reach with the internet.

So you have to take action to be able to stand out and the top marketing tip from me to people would be write, write, write. Be an expert in your field so that people want to follow you because they will folloe you. They are more likely to do business with you when they know that you are an expert at what you do. Building your brand, to me, is about writing and I know you had a question about that, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Yeah, I was thinking about it. I read your blog on it and it really did emphasize writing. I was wondering what are your suggestions if you are not a writer?

Ivan:
Right. Now, more than ever, we are at a place in the world where you don’t have to be a writer to have the same kind of impact because technology exists today that allows you to be a video writer, a video blogger. All you need is a little webcam that costs almost nothing and you can be a video blogger. So you don’t have to write to be able to build an audience. Most people are successful when they can talk about what they do. They may feel uncomfortable talking about stuff that they don’t know well, but most people are good at explaining what they do and helping people.

Put a video camera in front of you and start doing video blogging. As a matter of fact, if you look at my blog at businessnetworking.com, half of my blogs now are video blogs. I do two blogs a week as a rule. Monday is a written blog. Thursday is a video blog. Almost every Thursday is a video blog.

Priscilla:
Do you do all of the recordings yourself?

Ivan:
I do almost all the recordings myself, usually with a Flip video at some remote location. You can always tell because you can hear noise in the background and I am doing Flip video. Sometimes I am doing in studio videos. We have a small studio here at BNI HQ. I’ll do a video here and post one of those. Other times, it might be a video from a live presentation that I did. It could be a lot of things, but generally, it’s a Flip video that I use.

Very informal. Most of them are not in a green screen kind of environment. It’s really informal. Anybody can do that. Anybody can do that. So what I want to leave with- if you have another question, I will be glad to take it, but what I want to leave the members with is my top marketing tip other than building your business by referrals.

My top marketing tip is build your brand, and the best way to do that is to blog or write. You can do video blogging if you don’t like writing. That really helps to build your expertise. I strongly recommend that. If you have somebody in your chapter who does or knows about video blogging- you might have a coach or a web person who does that. Have a conversation with them. I think it is the best thing you can do to build your brand.

Priscilla:
That’s great.

Ivan:
Or podcast, like you and I do here, Priscilla, every week. I think podcasts are another way to build a brand. What you do in helping people produce podcasts is exactly what people who want to have any kind of regional or global reach should be doing. So call Priscilla Rice.

Priscilla:
Yes, please. Live Oak Recording Studio will help you with your podcast. I think the regularity is probably the thing I would want to stress, right? You can definitely start something, but then if you let it go, it’s not going to work for you.

Ivan:
Yeah, it takes a real commitment to do that, but you don’t have to do it twice a week. Just once a week is fine. I think that is sort of the minimum if you want to do something once a week. But if you want to do a video blog, I take my Flip video with me everywhere- everywhere! If I am at an event and I meet somebody whom I think has a good topic, we’ll do it. Video blogs are two minutes, maybe four. So I’ll have a conversation with somebody about some topic that I think will be of interest to my readers and viewers. It doesn’t take a lot of work to do Flip videos.

Priscilla:
And how do we see those again?

Ivan:
You can see those by going to businessnetworking.com. Businessnetworking.com is my blog. It’s not BNI-centrific about networking for everyone, but I write it with BNI in mind. You will see that almost every Monday is a written blog and almost every Thursday is a video blog. So go check out the video blogs and you can see what you can do if you hate writing. You don’t need to be a writer.

Priscilla:
Great, Ivan. I like that idea. Okay then, do you have anything else to add?

Ivan:
No, that’s it for today, Priscilla. Thank you very much.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Well, I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This week Dr. Misner answers a question from a BNI member named Robert: “How do you handle requests from people you barely know or don’t know at all, who ask you to give them names of your contacts so they can connect with those people for their own ventures or projects?”

Dr. Misner suggests you recommend that these people read his article about Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability on Entrepreneur.com and explain that you haven’t even reached Visibility with this person, but once you’ve established Credibility, you’ll be happy to share your contacts.

At this point, 90% of people move on to the next victim. But a few people will hear you, get it, and start working on establishing a relationship.

Read Dr. Misner’s post on Entrepreneur.com.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 246 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week, I am in New York as part of the book tour for Business Networking and Sex, doing a presentation in the area. As you may recall, the reason why I mention where I am at in the podcast is to remind the members that I am on the road a lot visiting regions. I think it’s an important part of what I do- not to just to podcasts but to be out there meeting people. It’s one of the fun things that I do. We always do it each podcast so members can see that I am out and about visiting them.

Priscilla:
And they can visit you.

Ivan:
And they can visit me, yeah. That, to me, is the most exciting part of what I do- to meet so many people who BNI has helped in business. It really turns me on as a business person to see that kind of impact. When you hear of me coming out to a region, come visit. Come hear my presentation. Tell me that you listen to the podcasts.

Priscilla:
Great. So what are you going to share with us today?

Ivan:
Today, I am going to talk about handling requests for referrals from strangers. I have touched upon subjects like this but not quite exactly in the same way. I recently had a BNI member by the name of Robert who asked a really good question. I am going to read his question here and then I am going to give the answer. It is a really specific question that he asked about somebody trying to get a referral from him that the didn’t really know. Here is his email to me:

“Good morning, Dr. Misner. I was wondering if you could answer a question. When it comes to networking and being a connector, how do you handle requests from people you barely know or don’t know at all who ask you to give them names of your contacts so they can connect with those people for their own ventures or projects? For example, I recently received a message from a woman I met years ago at a networking function.”

It was a chamber function. She had left the chamber and is now attempting to find her niche. She had sent a message to him. It said, “ Hello. Happy summer. Do you know personally any life or disability agents or financial planners I need to meet as soon as possible in the area to see if they could use our medical services.” And she gave the name of the company. “To complete the medical portion of the insurance applications, could you forward any names to me if you know someone like that?” And then she signed it.

Robert sent this to me and said, “What do you do when you get something like this?” I’ve had this kind of question asked to me a lot. I have written about it in my blog. I have talked a little bit about it in my podcasts. But I have never given a specific answer. I have told what I have done but never given a suggestion to members on how to handle it. That’s what I want to do here today.

I think when people contact you with requests like the one I just described here from Robert, I would recommend them to an article that I wrote to the VCP process. We are going to have a link in this podcast so that you can just click on that link. Use that link. That is, by the way, what I do. I refer people to this article. I explain to them that although I appreciate them reaching out to me, and you can do the same as you appreciate that person reaching out to you, you are not even at visibility yet.

This article talks about the VCP process, which we have talked about in podcasts before. Visibility, credibility, profitability. All networking relationships start pre-visibility. You establish who that person is and get to visibility. Then you get to credibility where people know you, who you are and what you do. Only then do you get to profitability, where people know who you are and what you do. They know you are good at it and are willing to refer you.

Refer them to this article and you can say, “We are not quite at visibility yet. In order for me to feel comfortable referring to you, we need to build a relationship over time that brings us to credibility. When we are at strong credibility, which takes time in the relationship process, then we can talk about referring people to appropriate contacts.”

Here is the thing, Priscilla. When most people read that article, and they get that answer that you appreciate the request. Read this, it’s your philosophy on networking and you’re at pre-visibility, when you get to credibility you’ll be happy to refer to them. When they read the article and get that kind of response, and I have done this verbally as well- they move on.

Priscilla:
Absolutely.

Ivan:
Nine times out of ten and that is conservative. They just say thank you very much and look for the next victim. These people are hunting. They are not farming. This is, to me, a perfect example of confusing networking with direct selling. People will just contact someone that they vaguely know and ask you to refer them to everybody on your mailing list.

That’s not networking. That’s direct selling. I would argue that it’s not even good direct selling. It’s really bad direct selling. I think all of us at one point or another in our lives have had someone ask us for something that we are really not ready to give to them because there is no relationship. I have found that most people just don’t have an answer for that. They look in their objection book and there is no answer for the objection of we are not in visibility yet in the VCP process. Nobody has ever given them an answer to that. So they move on. Or- a handful, just a few, hear you, get it and are then willing to move the relationship on. Occasionally it has happened, and occasionally I have ended up working with people and referring people because they heard my message. It’s all about relationships and it’s all about credibility before I give you a referral.

That’s how I recommend. If you, as a BNI member, get a question like Robert did, that’s how I recommend that you handle it. Any thoughts, Priscilla?

Priscilla:
I can’t imagine actually doing what you just suggested myself, personally. I would be more like, “Whoa. Don’t you think we should have cup of coffee and I can learn a little bit more about your business? You know, something a little less technical and friendlier.

Ivan:
What? That’s not friendly?

Priscilla:
But if you were trying to kind of guard against that, that would be a good solution, Ivan.

Ivan:
But you have to ask yourself. Is this someone that you have any interest with in a relationship? Like this person came on and she hadn’t met him in years. He didn’t want to have a cup of coffee with her. She was out of bounds. So you have to ask yourself does this person mean well and do they look like somebody you really want to get to know? Does it sound like somebody that you really want to get to know? Then a cup of coffee is a great idea.

But if you feel really put off- I really think if you practice this, you will become more comfortable. I felt awkward doing it. It was my own stuff and I felt awkward doing what I am suggesting the first time. But after I did it a few times, it got really easy because what I talk about is all about the relationship. So I say it is all about the relationship. Before I can refer you to other people, I have to really have a relationship with you. That takes time. So we can start by read this article and then let’s recap because we can move through visibility and credibility and get to that point of profitability. We have to do that before I can refer you to anybody. I do it in a very friendly way. I’m telling you that 9 out of 10 people run, not because I said it aggressively, but because they don’t want to do all that. They just want my mailing list.

Priscilla:
Okay. I have another suggestion kind of similar to that, which would be invite them to the BNI meeting. Then that would be an opportunity for you to get to know them and for them to get to know the group and for them to see whether they follow through on that.

Ivan:
That is a good suggestion and it is certainly worth doing. I have one BNI member who says he has ever cold call put through to him. He tells his secretary to put every cold call through to him and he says, “Look. I’ll be glad to meet with you. It’s Tuesday morning at 7:00 am at such and such location.” He gets a lot of people.

It’s a great idea. There is one down side to it. The down side is that you could bring somebody who is a hunter and not a farmer. They could be just looking for lists and they may not make a good member. You have to go into it understanding that you are inviting somebody who has already taken the wrong approach. Are they they the kind of person who you feel might change their behavior? If for any reason you feel they might, then I think your idea would work.

Priscilla:
Yeah. That makes sense. Sometimes people need to be educated.

Ivan:
You know what, you are absolutely right. Everybody- maybe not everybody but almost everybody I know was at one time bad at networking. I surely was. I was not just a victim but was responsible for asking for referrals before there was a relationship. Years ago, before I understood that, I did it like everyone else. I did it proudly. You’re right. If you have someone who is willing to learn, that is the kind of person that you should bring in.

I hadn’t thought about this. Maybe do the VCP thing with them and then say, “A great way to start that process would be- if you want to get to visibility with me, come meet me at a BNI meeting next Tuesday at 7:00 am” or whenever it is. That might work. Either they are just in it for the list, they don’t care and they will hunt and then move on, or they really heard your message and then you have kind of given them an open door to start the process. You’re right, Priscilla. I like that.

Priscilla:
I think that’s better because it is friendlier and it brings visitors to the meeting. It just gives them an opportunity to come through for you, and it doesn’t take your personal time as well.

Ivan:
There you go. You helped me formulate an expansion on my idea here, live on this podcast. I appreciate the discussion. It was a good one.

Priscilla:
Okay, good. Well, would you like to add something to that?

Ivan:
No. I think that’s it. It’s important to remember that direct selling is not networking. It’s direct selling. This is all about farming and when people try to direct sell you, do as Priscilla and I just worked out here. Explain to them the VCP process. The link is in this podcast. Then invite them to your BNI chapter or chamber or some other organization that you are in, and Priscilla, they can start the visibility process. That’s it for today.

Priscilla:
Okay. That’s perfect. Thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Today Mike Ryan, a founding member of the founding chapter of BNI, joins Dr Misner on the podcast to provide some tips on how to keep your BNI meetings fresh. (Yes, even after 27 years of attending the same chapter week after week.)

1. Be engaged in your BNI chapter. Rotate through leadership team positions. Mentor new members via one-to-ones.
2. Keep current with new developments in BNI. There’s a constant stream of new ideas and activities to help BNI members pass more referrals. Re-enroll in the Member Success Program training.
3. Recharge your commitment by attending meetings outside your own chapter. Go to the members’ day the international conference, or attend a national BNI conference.

More suggestions: use the meeting stimulants, have a goals meeting for your chapter, and of course, listen to this podcast. And remember: the grass is greener where you water it.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 245 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. I hear you have a nice guest for us today.

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I certainly do. I have a good friend of mine, Mike Ryan. Mike is a founding member of the founding chapter of BNI. We have known each other a long, long time. He’s a fantastic financial advisor. He’s my financial advisor. He started in the business in 1976. In 1983, he formed Ram Financial. He joined BNI and helped start the founding chapter of BNI in 1985 representing Ram Financial. He is know with Houseman Financial. He’s a registered investment advisor. He’s a premiere consultant with Genworth Financial, a former member of the advisory council for Sullaman Brothers. He’s a highly, highly qualified financial planner, a long term member of BNI and a good friend of mine. I know both Mike and Susanna, his wife, are very active in nonprofit groups.

Mike, it’s really, really good to have you on our BNI podcast. Thanks for joining me.

Mike:
Ivan, thank you so much with that gracious introduction. I appreciate it. It’s wonderful to be here.

Ivan:
I’m not sure I have ever said this to you, Mike, but I have said this on podcasts and I have said this in a lot of places. When I started BNI, I wanted to network up. I wanted to bring in people who I thought were more successful than me, more qualified than me. You were number one on that list, you and Caroline Denny, who is still with BNI, were the top two people in my networking up. I tell members bring in people who are more successful and more qualified. That is certainly what I thought of you then and think of you know. It is a pleasure to still have you involved in BNI.

Mike:
Thank you.

Ivan:
We are going to talk about an interesting topic. This topic actually came from Priscilla, who spoke to me- I think, Priscilla, it might have been after one of the recordings, where you asked how do you keep meetings fresh. I thought you couldn’t go to anyone better than someone who has been in the same chapter since day 1 for BNI, 27 years this month. Mike has been a member of the BNI chapter in the Arcadia area. It’s the Founders Chapter.

Mike, you have three points you want to talk about today. Let me just introduce the topics and let you run with it. The first point is to be engaged in your BNI chapter. Do you want to talk about that?

Mike:
Yes. I think it’s important that people be there. What happens so often is many of us get settled into our patterns and then cease to grow. To end up obtaining referrals and qualified referrals, and to help avoid this, our long time members rotate through the leadership team. It forces us to grab a hold of more recent things and stay excited about it. It’s like anything at work or that you might do. It’s showtime in a way.

Ivan:
No only to be there but be engaged there. How many times have you been chapter President?

Mike:
Probably three or four times. I have been the education person. So the old-timers kind of rotate through the membership committee, the leadership team, the visitor host, and the event person. Right now, the President of the Founders Chapter is Margaret A’Lacour. You know her. 18 years.

Ivan:
Margaret has been in forever and ever. One of the founding members of one of the first few chapters as well.

Mike:
Our VP is Zena Kingsfield, 25 years a member. The other thing we do is we really go for the one on ones. We think it’s super important that we mentor the young people and that forces us to be real positive in encouraging them, too. I think that process is extremely helpful.

Ivan:
Be engaged. Get involved. If you have been in the group for any length of time, take on different roles like membership committee, education coordinator, different leadership team positions and do one to ones. That’s great advice. The second point that you gave me to talk about is keep current with new developments and refinements. Do you want to talk about that?

Mike:
I think that when you have been in business for a long time, you learn that the referral process is a developing process with new ideas and new activities. There is a constant stream of information and insights on how to develop more referrals. You will remember, Ivan, that we had the prospect slip. Then it went to the referral slip, right? From that came Givers Gain, a philosophy that personally I believe is the driving force of the growth of BNI. They are very strongly- and then comes BNI Connect. That brings the ability to learn about events and meetings and integrate these new activities. We try to integrate them in our BNI meeting and connect with other BNI chapters and their members. This has led to referrals from other chapters. So we have expanded the referral base.

Ivan:
And of course, these podcasts. We have almost 250 podcasts now. A lot of great content. The more members can immerse in ongoing learning, the more successful they are going to be. And you believe that it keeps things fresh as well, yes?

Mike:
And I think the support training is a real help in this area. I have gotten that feedback from several of our older members who have gone back and gone to BNI HQ for member support training. They come back all refreshed and excited. It’s great.

Ivan:
We see many people who come to member success training and many regions have various forms of advanced training. But they go back to the basic training, the member success program training, because there are some new things that are going on and it’s good to get a refresher every now and then.

Priscilla:
Can I ask a quick question?

Ivan:
Sure.

Priscilla:
Mike, you spoke about getting together with other chapters. Can you be a little more specific about what you do?

Mike:
We have done some combined social get togethers, like a cocktail night or something of that sort. That is pretty much what we have done.

Priscilla:
That seems like a good idea.

Ivan:
And that was actually your third category, was it not, Mike? Recharging your commitment by attending different kinds of meetings outside your own chapter. So three things you would recommend. This is from somebody who has been a member for 27 years. I think it is great advice. Be engaged. Be present. Do one to ones. Keep current with new developments and refinements. Go to MSP training again if you can. Do those. Stay connected. Start to utilize BNI Connect, which I know there are a lot of issues with BNI Connect, but I promise we are getting there. It will absolutely be an amazing tool to connect people globally as it continues. So use BNI Connect, listen to the podcast and go visit other groups. Is that everything you had in mind?

Mike:
That’s pretty much it. The other thing I wanted to hit on is that in addition to that, going to the international conference, I always come back highly motivated and impressed with what other people are doing with their BNI chapters around the world.

Ivan:
You bring up a great point. For the listeners here, BNI does do a conference every year. It’s open to members from around the world. We do occasionally get people from other countries who come to the conference. The conference is mostly BNI Directors but we have one day which is always for members. If you go to BNI.com, in October you will see that we announce every year when the conference is coming up. You can always email us at bni@bni.com if you want to know when the next conference is.

If you don’t want to come all the way here for the conferences, there are many national conferences all around the world. Check with your directors to find out when there are national conferences. There are generally members days where you can visit those.

I think you are right, Mike, the international conference is really special. It is like going to the United Nations. Flags all over and all of the different accents. It’s really amazing.

Mike:
They do some amazing things. In a summary way, it’s not real complex. Continue to do the things that get good, qualified referrals using the processes.

Ivan:
Stick to the basics. Use the system. Priscilla, you went back to your chapter and did some brainstorming with your chapter about things to do to keep the group fresh. Anything that came from the chapter that you would like to chat with Mike about? I know you have looked at this as well.

Priscilla:
Our chapter has been together for about 9 years. You know how you sometimes think maybe I should leave this chapter and join another chapter because they don’t know me as well and it might be exciting. I don’t really want to do that because I have all these great relationships in my chapter. I know some of the other members have thought this way also. That’s where this topic came up.

Ivan suggested I ask for some suggestions from the other people in the group. They came up with ideas. Some of the top ideas, I guess, were bringing visitors and using the meeting stimulants or possibly doing your neighbor’s infomercial, that kind of thing, to make the meeting more fun.

Ivan:
By the way, there are over 40 meeting stimulants now. If you are not aware of them go see your local BNI Director and they can provide you with those. That’s great advice that your chapter came up with. What else?

Priscilla:
Then, of course, we did the one on one thing. I think it’s important, probably a good idea to do one on ones with people that you know really well anyway and just see what is new in their business and what their new focus is and their goals are. That was the other thing. We had a goal setting session at the beginning of the year and we checked in to see how we did. We had goals specifically for our BNI group. How many referrals we wanted to give, how many guests we wanted to bring. I think that’s helpful.

Ivan:
Your chapter came up with, I think, a good list. Bringing visitors helps keep it new and fresh. The meeting stimulants, doing one to ones. By the way, we are trying to call them one to ones now because we discovered the hard way, Mike- you may not know this. But one on one has a completely different connotation in some countries. For any countries that are listening to this, we apologize it is a one to one. We had a lot of fun with that when we discovered in some countries it means something completely different. That’s the fun of running an international business.

Listen, I wish that sometimes these podcasts could go longer and we could go deeper, but we covered a lot of great stuff. Go back and listen to this podcast again. There is a transcript of this material. I think that the points that Priscilla and Mike brought up are really important. The one to ones, staying engaged in a chapter, staying on top of the material that is coming out, like these podcasts, looking at new developments, bringing in visitors, meeting stimulants- all of these help to keep the meetings fresh.

There is one thing I’d add. I’ve been saying this for years. There is that saying the grass is greener on the other side. You were saying, Priscilla, there are people who want to go to another group because they have built the relationships here. One of the things that I learned is that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it. It’s all about building those relationships. Longevity in a healthy, good chapter is a good thing for referral business. You are going to get more referral business with the people who truly trust you. So there is a huge advantage to being in a group for a long time, as long as you keep things fresh. I think you guys gave some great examples. Anything you want to add before we wrap up, Mike?

Mike:
No, not really.

Ivan:
Mike, thank you so much. It has been wonderful working with you for 27 years. I look forward to a long term continued relationship. I don’t know if I mentioned this is the beginning, but Mike is my financial planner. He does a great job. It’s been my pleasure working with you. Priscilla, do you have anything that you want to add before I close up?

Priscilla:
No, but that is an awfully good referral for Mike that you just gave.

Ivan:
It has been a pleasure working with him and I look forward to continuing to work with him. Priscilla, thanks a lot for bringing up this topic as a podcast. This was your idea and I think we have some great content. Members, take this to your chapter. Share it with your chapters. Take the transcript. Education coordinators, use it at your next chapter meeting. I think it’s great content. Mike, thank you. Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 152.

About 20 years ago, Dr. Misner met a commercial light bulb salesman who wanted to join BNI. He was a little concerned that a person in such a unique profession might not do well, but the prospective member had no doubts.

First, he wanted people he could refer his clients to, because that would strengthen his relationship with them.

Second, he knew he was the kind of networker who could get business anywhere.

He was right. During his first year in BNI, 40% of the sales he got came from referrals from his BNI chapter.

Success in BNI doesn’t depend on the profession, but on the person. If you’re willing to give and help and learn, you’ll succeed in BNI.

Read the transcript in the Episode 152 show notes.

Brought to you by Ask Ivan Misner.

In the course of research for his book Business Networking and Sex (Not What You Think), Dr. Misner found that people who had a system for tracking the money they generated were more likely to feel that networking played a role in their success.

(Click to see a full-sized image.)

Without a system, it’s very hard to tell how successful you are. BNI has developed a protocol to measure referral success in a way that doesn’t inflate the numbers. You can click here to download it from SuccessNet.

Read Dr. Misner’s post about this topic on SuccessNet.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 243 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I am doing great and I am in Omaha, Nebraska. It’s my first visit to BNI groups and I am really excited to be here.

Priscilla:
Great. What are you doing in Omaha?

Ivan:
I am doing a presentation. I am speaking to members, meeting members, that kind of thing. It’s one of the great things that I do in this business, for me, is to go all over to BNI groups. We mentioned in a previous podcast that one of the reasons why I have you ask me where I am at is I want members to know that I am not sitting in my office in some big ivory tower.

I am out there visiting and meeting members as much as possible. It’s really a pleasure to come out to different regions. If I come out to your region, please come up to me and let me know that you are listening to these podcasts. I always get really excited when I have people come up and say, “Hey, I listened to this podcast or that podcast and it really helped.”

Priscilla:
Okay. So what are you going to share with us?

Ivan:
Well, today I am going to talk about an article that I wrote for SuccessNet back in January. You achieve what you measure. Tracking your referrals is really important in BNI. You achieve what you measure. This is pretty close to the new year still. It’s a great time to do some vision making on what you want your networking efforts to yield over the next year. This generally involves setting some goals and objectives. It’s not too late in the year. But you can’t really gauge your success in something unless you measure your progress. Hence, you achieve what you measure.

Now, I have collected a lot of hard data on this topic. I would like to share it in this podcast. Some of it comes from my new book which was just released, Business Networking and Sex. For the record- I think I mentioned this in a previous podcast. For the record, the book is about gender as it relates to networking. But a book called Business Networking and Gender, well, you can hear the crickets chirping now. Nobody is going to pick that up. But it’s about the different between men and women.

In this book, one of the things that I highlighted was tracking business and how that relates to networking success. The book was based on a survey of 12,000 business people from all around the world. In the book, we show a table. Maybe we can do a podcast to that article on SuccessNet online. We had a table that we asked people- they were responding to a question where we asked them if they track the money that they generated and we cross tabulated that by were they successful in their networking efforts.

The chart is pretty darn clear that people who had a system to track their business were more likely to have felt that networking played a role in their success. Even more notably, those who did not feel that networking played a role in their success were almost twice as likely to not have a system for tracking their business.

With the respondents, those people who said no, networking hasn’t played a role in success, 66% of the respondents didn’t have a system to track the money that they generated. 34% said yes, that they did have a system. And the opposite is true of those people who did have a system. A substantially higher number of them had achieved success through networking.

So you achieve what you measure. This isn’t just Ivan talking. We have some hard data on this. I think that is really important. Clearly, those people who do not use systems to track their businesses are much more likely to feel unsuccessful in their networking efforts.

What does this mean to you as BNI members? Well, simply you have to track the referrals you get and the value of those referrals. Even better, you should get your entire BNI chapter to join you in this endeavor. To help you do that, we have developed a thorough description of how to go about that in measuring this process. And either here on this podcast, we can have a link to it or if you go to the SuccessNet online article of You Achieve What You Measure, which was a January 2012 article, you’ll find a protocol. It’s a Word file. It’s the BNI protocol for measuring and tracking the value of the referrals you get. It also tracks some other things like your number of one to ones and the kind of education that you are getting in the BNI group. But the key is that it tracks the referrals.

If you would like to have your best year ever in BNI, then you really want to sit down and track the business that you are getting. This isn’t just advice. I am telling you we have examined it. The evidence is clear that those people who track their business are much more likely to be successful.

Let me just go back to the protocol briefly. In there, we have a description of how do you measure the value of a referral? It’s a little bit complicated but it’s pretty thorough. I will tell you there is no clean answer, Priscilla, in how you measure the value of a referral. How a banker measures the value of a mortgage that he or she sold is a lot different that an attorney measuring the hourly amount that they charge a client. It’s hard to determine a number that works across the board. But we have done that in this document. Although it is not perfect, we urge people to follow this protocol because it’s not only the way we measure it globally in BNI but it’s also the basis of several doctoral dissertations that were done with BNI, mine being one of them but several others and it was the way we measured what the value is of a referral.

I mention the doctoral thing because if a doctoral committee evaluates this information and says that yes, this is valid and replicable, then you know you have some quality control that has been done in the process. This protocol has gone through that, so I recommend that you use that.

Priscilla:
Can I interrupt you for one moment?

Ivan:
Sure. Go ahead.

Priscilla:
So when you are talking about measuring your referrals, I am immediately thinking that’s easy. You just code your invoices and you are just measuring dollars. But you are talking about something in addition to dollars, right?

Ivan:
No, I am talking about dollars, but here is where it gets complicated. If you are a real estate agent, what do you measure? You sold a house that is worth $500,000. Was that a $500,000 sale? Was that $500,000 in business? The answer to that is no. We feel that would inflate.

We don’t want to inflate the numbers. We want numbers that are reasonably accurate. When we say that we as an organization generated billions of dollars worth of business the previous year for our members, we want that to be an accurate number. So you have to look at different things. We recommend that for somebody like a real estate agent, that they measure the gross commission. That could be anywhere from 1.5% to 6%, depending on whether they are the buying agent, the seller, whether they are the broker. There is a number of variables, but it is the commission.

If you are talking about a service provider, like a website designer, business coach, chiropractor or photographer, it’s what you charged for your services. It’s the hourly rate or the gross amount.

Priscilla:
What do you do if you are a contractor? That’s really complicated because if you track the whole job, and most of it is going to pay your subs, there it gets confusing.

Ivan:
That is an issue. That came up recently. But you still do in that case, the gross. If you have a job that was worth $10,000, that’s the job. You say that you have to pay some of your subs. That’s true. But let me ask you a question. When you do recording, don’t you have people that you have to pay?

Priscilla:
Yeah. Absolutely.

Ivan:
We all have people that we have to pay, unless you are a single entrepreneur by yourself. Even then, you still have to pay printers, your telephone and other out of pocket expenses. So we could go to net profit. That was one of the things that we talked about at length. That would certainly take into account contractors and every other business.

Here is the problem with net profit when we tried doing it many, many years ago. People don’t like telling you their net profit. They don’t. I know this is a shock. They are going to fib. Some people will tell you they make less than they really do because they don’t want you to know what their net profit is and what their earnings are. Other people will tell you more because they are embarrassed about their net profit. Net profit is a hard thing to measure accurately. People don’t want to give that information.

But a repair by a contractor, the number is what the number is. We understand that there are costs. There are costs to everybody. That real estate agent who gets the commission- is that 100% profit for them? No, they have costs that they have to take out of there. We all have costs. So it’s a complex issue.

We have a several page document that walks you through and tries to explain that. That’s the protocol. Take a look at that and the most important thing is start to measure your chapter referrals. Measure the value. You can achieve what you measure so you want to measure this and set goals for the chapter. Make sense?

Priscilla:
Yeah. I think it’s good.

Ivan:
Well, that is my message for today. So listen, if you have listened to this podcast and your chapter has measured the amount of business generated, I want to hear from you. Why has that helped your chapter? Explain to everybody why this is so important. It’s a lot of work to do in a chapter. I want you to explain to everybody why this is so important and why it makes a different. That’s it for today, Priscilla, thanks.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Thanks, Ivan. That’s it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This week Bob Burg, author of It’s Not About You: A Little Story About What Matters Most in Business, joins Dr. Misner in honor of International Networking Week.

Bob reminds us that people only do business with those they know, like, and trust. While they might do business with you for a while if they don’t like you, as soon as they find a competitor they like better, they’ll switch.

Trust puts you ahead nine steps in a ten-step process. People need to trust both your character and your competence. Competence is in greater supply than character, so your character has great economic value.

It’s also important to understand the difference between price and value. Value is what brings worth to a product or service—the reason people are glad to exchange their money for it. We need to give our clients more in value than they pay in money.

So if it’s not about you, who is it about? It’s about those whose lives you choose to benefit.

You can download the introductory chapter to this book and 3 others at www.burg.com.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 242 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I am at BNI HQ this week because it is International Networking Week. It was started by BNI. It was an initiative of BNI’s. We started it a few years ago. If you are listening to this podcast, go to InternationalNetworkingWeek.com. You can find out more about it.

We have as a guest on the podcast this week- I can’t think of a better guest to have than Bob Burg. Bob shares information on topics that are vital to success for today’s business person. He regularly addresses audiences of anywhere from 50 to tens of thousands of people. He was for many years known for his book, Endless Referrals. But over the past few years, his business parable, The Go Giver, authored by John David Man, has really captured the attention of readers. Of course, any book called the Go Giver has to resonate with BNI members and our philosophy of Givers Gain.

Bob has another book, It’s Not About You. Hopefully, we’ll have some time to chat about that. He has been on a number of best sellers’ lists including the Wall Street Journal. He and John David released their newest book, which is a parable focusing on influence and it called It’s Not About You. Bob is an advocate and supporter of the free enterprise system and has been a real friend to BNI. He is one of a few people who have written books on networking that I highly recommend. You have to go out and buy one or all of his books on business networking. I promise you it integrates very well into what we do in BNI.

Bob, welcome to the BNI podcast.

Bob:
Hey Ivan, it’s so great to be with you. Thank you for having me.

Ivan:
If anyone wonders, wow, Bob has a great voice, that’s because you used to do television, didn’t you, Bob?

Bob:
Yes. Enough people said that I had a great face for radio that I had to get out of television.

Ivan:
That’s not true. That’s not true at all. But very funny. So, Bob, every book you write, you manage to include what you believe is the key to effective networking, what you call the Golden Rule of Business Networking. That is what we titled this podcast. We are going to cover a couple of things, this being the first. What is the golden rule of business networking and why do you feel that way?

Bob:
Basically, it’s simply that all things being equal, people do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust. I think we can take all three of those words. It’s fairly intuitive. Obviously, people have to know you or at least know who you are in order to do business with you. Likeability is very important, and yet, that is where the disclaimer “all things being equal” comes in. You might say, really, do that have to like you to do business with you? They don’t have to.

If you are the only game in town and they just absolutely want, need and have to have what you sell, no they don’t have to like you, but there inherent challenges with that. One is you are probably not the only game in town, not these days. But two, they will only do business with you until someone else comes along who has equal to or even close to equal to what you have and then that person who is nicer will get the business. Third, and the most important reason, Ivan, is the people who are listening to this are nice people and you want to like those who you are serving and you want them to like you.

Likeability is very important. In his great book, Influence: Science and Practice, Dr. Robert Chaldini talked about likeability being one of those six keys, and I think for very good reason. And we talk about trust. I think really, it comes down to in a low trust world, that person who can very quickly and effectively inspire trust from others, I think that person is really nine steps ahead of the game in a ten step game.

Ivan:
When it comes to trust, talk about character and competence because those are very important and our mutual friend, Stephen MR Covey discusses that in a new book that he’s got, Smart Trust. So talk a little bit about character and competence and how you think that would apply to my audience, which are people who are out there everyday.

Bob:
Sure. Well, you know, Stephen’s books are so great. The Speed of Trust. I think he has a new one that was just released, Smart Trust. He talks about character and competence. Really, trust is defined as the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something. We can take those first two, character and ability, and we can say character and competence. That is really what it is about. Stephen talks about both of them, character and competence, being important. I really think it is. If someone is going to buy from you, they need to, assuming the product or service is of any kind of significance, they need to have trust both in your character and competence. If you are considering buying from someone and you think that person has very high character but low competence and just don’t know what they are doing, you are obviously just not going to buy from them.

On the other hand, you can feel as though they have very high competence. They really know what they are doing. They really know their stuff. But they have very low character. Well, you are certainly going to have real feelings about doing business with them. You are probably not going to.

So I think we really have to have both. We talk about there being real economic value in trust. Well, there is. I think that while both are important, competence and character, competence is simply the baseline item. It’s that thing that puts you into the game. It matters. But you know what, it’s really a dime a dozen. A lot of people have competence, although we can always persuade and we see all sorts of blog posts that these days, people can’t do anything right. Well, you know what, there are a lot of people who can do things right. There are a lot of talented people. Competence just kind of gets you in the game. A lot of people have it.

Character, though, is that rare precious gem in a sense and anyone who possesses it is worth a great deal to the world around them. Why does character have more economic value than competence? Because competence, while it is in demand, is also in pretty great supply. Character, however, while it is these days, I think, more than ever in great demand, it is not in as great of supply. Supply and demand says that when people really crave something and it’s not really in great supply, the economic value, it’s worth, goes way high. I think that is where it’s at right now.

Ivan:
The word “value” has become almost a buzz word, whether someone is creating an amazing number of referral relationships through BNI, meeting people in situations in current everyday life, or even in various social networks. Isn’t providing value really what it’s all about?

Bob:
Yeah. It really is. The big thing is understanding the difference between price and value. Price, as you know, is a dollar amount. It’s finite. It is what it is. Value, on the other hand, I would define as the relative word for desirability of a thing to the end user. In other words, what is it about this product, service, concept or idea that brings with it so much worth that someone will willingly exchange their money for it and be absolutely glad, absolutely excited that they did?

There is an economic law that is immutable. It is unchangeable. It says people exchange their money for that which they feel is of equal or greater value than the money they are exchanging it for. What we need to do is make sure that we are that added value. We find ways to make that exchange even more valuable on that other person’s part.

Just a very quick example. Let’s say someone refers an accountant who is in their BNI organization. This accountant takes on a client and they charge the client, we’ll just use round figures, $1000 to do their tax returns. That is their price or their fee. But for this $1000, they save this person $5000 in taxes. They save them 30 hours of work and provide them with the piece of mind and security of knowing it was done correctly. So what this accountant did was he or she gave more end value than they took in payment. So the client just feels great about it and the accountant made a very, very nice profit.

That’s the kind of relationship that we want to have with anyone when we do business. We want to give them so much in value or use value that they feel terrific and we make an excellent profit. Really, the way we do that is, as you teach in BNI, is to focus on providing value to that other person. We know that money is simply an echo of value. It is the thunder to value’s lightning.

The way to do that, obviously, is rather than focus on the money, focus on providing value to that other person. When you do that, the person is going to feel so good about you. They are going to know you, like you, trust you, respect your judgment, and they will exchange their money for the value you provide.

Ivan:
This is a great message for BNI members. The whole idea of focusing on the value that they bring to the table. Great message. I am going to change lanes on you here, and we only have about a minute left. Your book, It’s Not About You- I have to ask you a question. If it’s not about you, who is it about, Bob?

Bob:
That’s a great question. I think the answer is all about what BNI and Givers Gain is about. It’s about everyone whose lives you choose to benefit and add value to. Of course, it can include family, friends, employees, team members, committee members, whomever. What we have to understand, of course, is when we say it’s not about you, that shouldn’t be confused with being a doormat, martyr or self sacrificial in any way. It’s not about that. It just means when you focus on others, when you focus on providing value, that is simply a good and effective way to build others, which ultimately helps you accomplish your own goals.

Of course, the key to this is that it needs to be done with a genuine, authentic caring about others, never manipulative or with impure motives.

Ivan:
I couldn’t agree more. Your message is so powerful for BNI, Bob, and I really appreciate you being on this podcast. I want to let all of the BNI members know that they can actually download an introductory chapter to this book and to some of your other books by going to www.burg.com. You have a great blog there. I visit it. You get a lot of action on your blog. I’m really impressed. There are a lot of comments. It’s quite impressive.

Bob:
Especially when I interview you. We got a lot of hits on that. Congratulations on your newest book. That is absolutely a terrific book.

Ivan:
Thanks, I appreciate it. BNI members, go to www.burg.com. Take a look at what Bob has. His message clearly, if you’ve heard this podcast, fits with BNI very will. Bob is one of the few guys I have met who is a public speaker with well-known great books and absolutely walks the talk. I love working with you, Bob. I would love to do more with you. Thank you so much for being on this podcast today.

Bob:
Thank you so much. I’m honored, Ivan.

Ivan:
Thanks Bob. Back to you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Thank you so much. That was just great. I think that’s it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

According to one of the surveys conducted for Business Networking and Sex—Not What You Think, referral networks have an 82.8% success rate in terms of generating business, while online networks only have a 27.4% success rate. (See graph below.)

One reason for this might be that many entrepreneurs don’t have a plan for their online networking. If you’re not sure how to use networks like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and BNI Connect to your advantage, ask one of the many social media experts in BNI.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 241 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
I am at BNI HQ this week and we are bringing in Directors from all over North America and training them, new Director consultants. We’re training them at BNI. I made sure to be here whenever we do a training here at HQ because I think it’s really important to be part of the training process. I think education is a leaky bucket.

Priscilla:
What does that mean?

Ivan:
People put information into the bucket. There are holes. Some of it doesn’t stay in the bucket. When you train somebody, information leaks out. When you are training two or three generations- if I train somebody in how to do something and they train somebody how to do something, after two or three generations, you have half a bucket of information. What happens when you have what appears to be half the information? You start putting your own stuff in. It may not be the right stuff. So I am a real firm believer in education and getting it directly from me whenever possible. So there are elements of the consultant Director training that I still do to this day after 27 years. We’re doing it here at HQ now.

Priscilla:
That’s good.

Ivan:
Yeah. So this week I want to talk about online networks lagging behind. It’s based on an article that I wrote for Entrepreneur. I want to just tell everybody right up front. There was a lot of data that I was able to collect for the book, which I have mentioned in previous podcasts, that just came out, Business Networking and Sex, Not What You Think. There was a lot of data there that we couldn’t use in the book because there was just so much. We literally had hundreds of tables.

I wanted to use some of this in other places. I want to talk about it in other places, other than the book. You can’t find this information in the book, but it is based on the survey that we did of the 12,000 business people from all around the world. One of the questions that we didn’t use in the book was what kind of organizations do you belong to? They could pick more than one. We had a list of things like referral network, contact networks, online networks, social groups, women’s business groups, and service clubs. We also asked a question in the survey that was used in the manuscript in several places. That is has networking played a role in your success?

We got interesting findings when we cross-tabulated those two questions with one another. When we said has networking played a role in your success and what kind of organizations do you belong to? We expected the casual contact networks like the Chamber of Commerce and that referral networks like BNI would do fairly well, and they did. However, we were a little surprised with some of the other results. I thought it might be interesting to talk about that and why.

So here’s the bottom line. Don’t shoot the messenger here, those of you who are listening to this podcast. Don’t shoot the messenger. Online networks did pretty poorly in the survey, with only 27% of the respondents saying that online networking has played a role in their success.

Priscilla:
You’re talking now about things like LinkedIn and Facebook.

Ivan:
Yeah. LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter. Compare that to referral networks, in which 82% played a role in their success. Casual contact networks were like 51%. Even professional associations. Priscilla, is there a professional association for broadcasters?

Priscilla:
I am sure there are, yeah.

Ivan:
Okay. Even an association like that. They did better than online networks. They scored 33.7%. So online networks did pretty poorly with only 27% saying that it has played a role in their success. Now, women’s business organizations did worse, with 17.7%. Service clubs came in last with only 17.2%. That is, in relation to the question has networking played a role in your success, only 17% of women’s organizations and service clubs, people where in those groups said it played a role in their success. I am going to come back to those two in just a minute.

Let’s talk about what all of this means. Overall, people who got the most of results from their networking efforts seemed to participate in face-to-face casual contact networks like a chamber or referral networks like BNI. To a lesser extent, professional associations, like any professional body or society representing a particular industry. While online networks, women’s business organizations and social service clubs rated very low in success related to their networking, I think there is- I wouldn’t throw them out with the bath water.

I think there is still some benefits to participating in those kinds of organizations. Even though they didn’t fare well, I am quite and advocate for online networks, women’s business organizations, and service clubs. I think I will continue to be so. I did some thinking on the survey and why these groups came in with such low percentages compared to the casual contact and referral networks. In this podcast, Priscilla, I will give you the graphic so people can see what it is that I am talking about.

I’m inclined to believe that women’s business organizations and service clubs don’t so as well because they have another really important purpose that takes precedence over networking. Women’s business organizations often provide a place where women will support and educate each other. The mission of service clubs is primarily to provide service to the community, with networking opportunities being more of a byproduct. In terms of tangible success in members networking efforts in much more subtle groups like this may be one of the main reasons they didn’t do quite as well in the survey.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about online networks and their disappointing standing in terms of the respondents’ ranking of successful networking efforts. The results I think are indicative of a comment I have heard from many business owners who being to market their businesses via the growing number of online business networking sites. They will say something like, “I’ve got a profile and 1000 connections. Now what? What do I do now?”

I think a lot of our contributors jumped on the social media networking bandwagon and spent a lot of time and effort building their online social capitol in Facebook, Twitter- but they didn’t have a plan in terms of turning contacts into actual customers. I think it’s one of the areas that many entrepreneurs struggle with. By the way, I have had consultants- we have a lot of members who are social media experts. I have talked many of them. They are really good in BNI. They can give good info. I urge members to talk to those advisers and ask if they have any suggestions.

Another issue in the addition to internet marketing, including online networking, exponentially increased the number of marketing messages that the average person sees everyday. Literally thousands. You know, whether you are online chatting on Google Talk or looking up friends’ photos on Facebook, or watching a Twitter feed, you get this “Read this. Buy this. Try this. Connect with me. Like my business.” It’s easy to get distracted by these messages, particularly because those who have the time to put up the most messages drown out the smaller businesses or individuals.

I am a fan of online networking. As many members know, we have been developing an online network, BNI Connect. I believe it is the wave of the future. I believe you are going to see better results in the future, not only for programs like BNI Connect, which we are adding to and enhancing, but continued to programs like LinkedIn and Facebook. I think these are great organizations, and it’s a great place and one of the venues to market your business. But based on current results, they definitely lag way behind. I was a little surprised on their success according to 12,000 people who took the survey.

Priscilla:
I think it is confusing to know how to use online networks. I mean, I would love for their to be a podcast about how to use BNI Connect as a way for us to find each other and do business with each other.

Ivan:
You know, there absolutely will be a podcast on that. There are some things that we have been working on to get the program on the administrative side up to snuff and the social media side of it kind of had to take a back burner. But in 2012, the social media side of it is going to absolutely be developed to a much greater extent. When we are ready to really – when it’s really shining at the level we want it to be, I would love to do a podcast about it then.

Priscilla:
Okay good. We will look forward to it.

Ivan:
That’s all I have for today, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay. Thank you, Dr. Misher. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

International Networking Week will take place February 6-10, 2012. There are events around the world, focused on bringing people together to network with each other.

Visit www.internationalnetworkingweek.com to find out more or watch our YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyGe103Hbug

You don’t have to have a big event to recognize International Networking Week. We recommend Meeting Stimulant #41: Bring one of your best clients to a BNI meeting. This person doesn’t have to be a prospective BNI member. The idea is to strengthen relations between you and your client.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 240 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I am doing great. This week, I am with my Executive Management Team. I bring the Executive Management Team together from all over the world together a couple times a year to talk about where BNI is going. That’s what we are doing over the next several days. We’ll be doing strategic planning. Every company needs to spend time looking at what they as an organization want to do. This is one of those times that I do that with BNI.

Priscilla:
That’s great. So are you going to share with us?

Ivan:
Well, I would like to talk about International Networking Week. It’s a little bit early. It’s a couple of weeks before International Networking Week, but I wanted to give a heads up to all the BNI members. International Networking Week for 2012 is February 6-10. We are about a week and a half away, but I wanted to give everyone a heads up about it, so you can go into your BNI meetings prepared for International Networking Week.

For anyone who would like some additional information about it, there is a website, www.InternationalNetworkingWeek.com. International Networking Week will feature some events around the world. The goal for International Networking Week is to celebrate the key role that networking plays in the success and development of businesses around the world. The focus for these events will be to bring people together- business officials, even government officials, the community to network with each other and understand the benefits of good networking.

The big events will have speakers and International Networking Week is open to all people. It’s an initiative of BNI. IT’s our initiative, but it is open to all people. If you are not doing a big event in your region, we invite you to make sure that you are meeting the week of February 6 and that you talk about International Networking Week.

There is a video up on the BNI official channel of YouTube. You can also get to that video by going to InternationalNetworkingWeek.com. It’s about a 9 minute video. I would recommend if you have the ability to show the video at a meeting that would be great. If not, that’s fine. It’s a great concept. We talk about- I’ve got people on the video with me, Frank Giraffle and Hazel Walker, who co-wrote with me Business Networking and Sex, the book about gender. They talk about the material in there.

So this is a great opportunity. We would love for BNI chapters all around the world to make sure and recognize that week. One of the things that we are recommending you do for International Networking Week 2012 is to utilize meeting stimulant #41. That is bring one of your best clients to a BNI meeting. That’s why I wanted to do this podcast early. I wanted to just let everybody know that this is a great opportunity to bring clients to your meeting during International Networking Week.

We all know that it’s good to bring visitors because they add significant value to a chapter. We talkned about that, a little bit about that with the podcast we did with Linda Macedonio. So it’s very important to bring people in and it’s a great week to do it. We recommend that you find one of your best clients and invite them. They don’t have to be a prospective member. That’s important for this. Generally, visitors really should be prospective members. But here, they want you to bring in your best clients just to show another side of what you do. We want to give members an opportunity to show their clients how BNI networks.

We want to be able to strengthen the relationship between members and their clients. We want to create increased networking opportunities for everybody. That’s what this meeting stimulant is all about. It also gives members a way to say thanks to one of their best clients and publicly recognize them, so I would recommend that you bring in that client, and when you have a chance to introduce them, say, “This is my client. I love working with them. They are great and here is their business.” Then give them a chance to speak, just as a visitor would normally do.

Again, it’s meeting stimulant #41, so we can put an attachment in the podcast so you can see the whole meeting stimulant there. What I would suggest you do is take it to your chapter president and see if they would do that. You have enough time still before International Networking Week. Do that in your chapter.

We will literally have thousands of events all over the world. Big events and then regular chapter meetings where we are recognizing International Networking Week.

Priscilla:
Well, that sounds great. Dr. Misner, you are my best client, so I was wondering if you could come to my chapter that day.

Ivan:
I love it. I’ll tell you what, I’ll do a webcam with you.

Priscilla:
Really?

Ivan:
Absolutely. Any time

Priscilla:
Oh that would be very cool. Okay. I will have to see about that.

Ivan:
It would be my pleasure. A lot of regions are doing big events. We had over a hundred big events last year, where the region would do a big breakfast meeting or a lunch or evening meeting. We have had thousands and thousands of people go to the big events, and then, of course, thousands of regular BNI meetings. You don’t have to have a big event to recognize International Networking Week. I think a regular BNI meeting is great. Just do something special that week and bring in your best client.

Thank you for saying I am one of your best clients. I appreciate that.

Priscilla:
Definitely.

Ivan:
That’s all I have for today, Priscilla. Thank you.

Priscilla:
Okay good. Well, that’s it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Today Linda Macedonio, Executive Director of BNI Rhode Island/SE Mass, joins Dr. Misner to explain why bigger is better for your BNI chapter.

In one region of Massachusetts, the average of the top 5 chapters was over 50 members and the average business generated per member was $34,000. The average size of the  bottom 5 chapters was 19 members and the average amount of money generated per member was 12,000.

Chapters that double their size consistently triple the number of  referrals in their group.

So why does this work? It has to do with the 80/20 rule.

Chapters with fewer than 25 members spend 80% of their time inviting and recruiting new members just to stay alive and only 20% on building relationships and passing referrals. Groups with more than 25 members can spend 80% of their time on passing referrals.

Larger chapters also have more and stronger power teams, so one referral can go to multiple people.

Let us know how much business your chapter is generating and how big it is.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 239 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week, I am in Hawaii, visiting the BNI region here and doing a presentation for the new book that came out. We have with us a guest from the other side of the country. She is from Rhode Island. Her name is Linda Macedonio. Linda, welcome to the podcast today.

Linda:
Thank you very much.

Ivan:
Linda has been an Executive Director in Rhode Island and Massachusetts since 1998. She became involved in BNI as a member first. Almost all Directors were members first. She was representing her bookkeeping business. She currently oversees about 60 chapters and 1500 members. Over the years, BNI has helped her overcome her shyness. Linda is very nervous for this. She was a contributing author to Masters of Networking. If you have a copy of that book, she did the shy bookkeeper piece in that book. She’s also a contributing author to Masters of Sales. Linda really enjoys helping people in BNI and helping them achieve success. She is a great Director for the organization.

Linda, welcome to the podcast. You have an interesting topic. Bigger is better. Do you care to explain that to everybody?

Linda:
I would be happy to. As BNI Directors, oftentimes, we are talking to chapters and to members about growing their chapter. Sometimes we actually get feedback where they think we want them to grow the chapter to help BNI and this presentation was actually designed by Reed Morgan in Tennessee. It makes the point that when a chapter is larger, it is helping the members more than it is helping BNI as a whole.

What we did is we ran some number showing the financial return on investments for the members and kind of showing them by numbers that it is a numbers game and that bigger really is better.

Ivan:
You have some numbers that you are going to share with everybody, right?

Linda:
I do. I want to clarify that even though we talk about the chapter and the numbers, it’s never sacrificing the quality of the membership and the system just for the sake of a larger chapter.

Ivan:
Listen, you bring up a really good point. It’s not just about the number of people, the number of warm bodies, but quality people. You have to be focused on bringing in quality members into the organization. Otherwise these numbers don’t hold up, unless you are talking about quality people.

Linda:
Absolutely. We share that information as well. We do have some data from a few regions. One particular region, looking from the top 5 chapters and looking at the bottom 5 chapters of that region. The average of the top 5 was over 50 members per chapter. It was about 18 or 19 members in the smaller chapter. The difference in the amount of money generated per member per year is tripled. It’s under $12,000 per year for a member in the smaller chapters for the money that they are making compared to almost $34,000 per member per year in the larger chapters.

Ivan:
Let’s just recap that for everybody. I think it is important for people to hear this. This is a region in Massachusetts where they top five chapters in that region, a big area, the average number of members is about 50 members per chapter. They were tracking the amount of business they got, and they tracked that the average amount of business per member was almost $34,000. The bottom five chapters in that same region averaged about 18.5 members, and their average was under $12,000 per member. It was almost 3 times difference, certainly over two times the difference between the top five chapters and the bottom five chapters.

I think that is probably indicative of many regions. I think in your region, the numbers are similar, at least twice the amount of business is generated in a group that has 30-40 members compared to a group that is around 15 members. Is that your experience?

Linda:
It has been. There is another statistic with that regarding visitors. In the larger chapters, they have about 2.5 times the number of visitors come to their chapter. That is additional exposure for the member. Visitors will oftentimes make referrals of themselves or others. I think that also contributes to the amount of money that the members are making.

Ivan:
This has been a consistent number from the beginning of the organization, that chapters double their size from 15 to 30 will triple the amount of referrals that are generated in the group. That is a pretty consistent number over the years. Having dollar numbers to go with it, like you have done, and Patty tracking in Boston and Reed tracking his numbers, I think just gives credence to what we are saying in that bigger truly is better, as long as the bigger is quality members. Yeah?

Linda:
That’s true.

Ivan:
You have a few reasons why you think this works. Do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Linda:
I do. I think most people have heard of the 80/20 rule. This actually can apply in this case as well. Typically chapters that are under 25 members will spend about 80% of their time on inviting and recruiting and in some cases, just for the chapter to stay alive. Then only 20% of the time is spent passing referrals. To flip that, chapters that are over 25 spend about 80% on building the relationship, passing the referrals, generating the dollars and 20% of the time on inviting or recruiting.

Ivan:
That makes sense to me.

Linda:
Yeah, I think that kind of speaks volumes in where the focus is depending on the size of the chapter. Another piece with that is the contact spheres, it really does make everything easier for generating referrals and business. Again, bigger is better in that regard.

Ivan:
For contact spheres, we use the terms, both contact spheres and power teams in BNI. Contact spheres is a group of professionals who have a symbiotic relationship with each other, just for the listeners, in case you don’t know- like a lawyer, an accountant, a financial planner. They all refer business to each other. Contact spheres is the group of professionals who could potentially be symbiotic to you.

The power teams are the groups of business professionals that you have a relationship with. Within BNI, you are going to have a formed power team. The point I think you are trying to make, Linda, is the more power teams you have in a group, the more successful that chapter is going to be in generating referrals. Correct?

Linda:
Correct. We have actually noticed that it seems that probably close to 70% of the business that is being done in a chapter, especially with the stronger contact spheres and power teams, are coming from within their own power team or contact sphere.

Ivan:
You know, one of the reasons for this is that sometimes one referral can be for two people. If you have a really strong power team, and you’re talking about a wedding power team, if somebody comes in with a referral for somebody who is getting married, that may be able to go to the caterer, the florist, the photographer. It might go to two or three people. Sometimes one referral can go to two, three or four people. The stronger your chapter, the bigger the group, the more likely you are to have power teams that are bigger, where one referral can go to multiple people. That is one of the reasons why you see that. There is a real logical reason for the increase in the amount of business generated.

Linda:
Absolutely. That is exactly what we found. It comes down to working smarter, not harder, and that there is strength in numbers.

Ivan:
Listen, I think you have given a pretty compelling argument on the return of investment, what’s in it for a member to bring a chapter up. We talked about groups of 30, 40 or 50 members. It’s really at 20 members where there seems to be a critical mass point, where things start to come together. When you get groups that are around 30 or 40 members, that’s when the numbers begin to almost grow exponentially. Would you not agree?

Linda:
I would agree. One way to look at it as well is every member is attending a 90 minute meeting. Would you rather make $12,000 or $34,000?

Ivan:
I think most people would rather make $34,000. No doubt about it. Groups that have that size membership are definitely doing that. This is really helpful information, Linda. Is there anything that you would like to add before we wrap up?

Linda:
No, I think we have pretty much covered everything. I appreciate you having me on the podcast.

Ivan:
Listen, it’s my pleasure having you on. You’re a great Director for the organization and I think you are one of those classic examples of somebody who has come into BNI and was nervous about standing up and doing presentations, as you were. Yes?

Linda:
You knew me when.

Ivan:
And you now stand up and do public presentations at BNI conferences. You have done this podcast. It’s one of the things that I really love about BNI. You see people who develop a skill set that maybe a few years ago, they didn’t think they would ever want to or could do. I think you are sort of the poster child for that in the organization.

Linda:
Well, thank you.

Ivan:
Well, listen, we really appreciate what you do, Linda. This was great information. For those of you listening, just a recap. Groups that are 40-50 members are passing two to three times the amount of business and generating two to three times the amount of referrals. It isn’t just in these two or three regions that we are talking about. It’s multiple regions. It’s all over the world. It’s a consistent number. Linda, thanks for bringing that to our attention. We appreciate it.

Linda:
Thank you very much.

Ivan:
If you are listening to this podcast and you’ve had a similar experience, we would love to hear your comments. Drop us a note here on bnipodcast.com and let us know how much business you’re generating and what the size of your BNI chapter is. Thanks a lot. Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay great. Thank you so much, Linda, and thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Dr. Misner is about to start his book tour for Business Networking and Sex—Not What You Think, which is about gender differences in networking. One of his co-authors focused on the man’s perspective, one on the woman’s perspective, while Dr. Misner took the networking expert’s perspective.

One of the important questions the book addresses is “Are men and women really so different?”

Both men and women want business from networking and both are willing to work hard to get it. But they approach it in different ways, and need to learn the style of the opposite sex.

Here are some tips for women dealing with men:

• When asking for help, communicate clearly what you want
• When speaking to men, try to impress them and share your accomplishments
• When spoken to inappropriately, speak up immediately. Don’t accept it.
• Convey an image that you’re a serious business person at all times.

For men dealing with women:

• Slow down. Build the relationship.
• Don’t assume that women don’t take their business seriously.
• Edit what you’re about to say. Filter out anything that’s not business-appropriate.
• Remember that women are at networking events for the same reason you are: to get business.

Find out more about the book here.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 238 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hey, I am doing great. I wanted to remind everyone I did a podcast a few weeks back, #234, as to why I mention where I am. I think it’s really important for members around the world to know that I am out visiting you, visiting regions, talking to members. I am not sitting back at BNI HQ in an ivory tower. I am getting out there. It’s actually one of the fun things about what I get to do.

This week, I am in the Bay area for a conference and for the beginning of the Business Networking and Sex book tour.

Priscilla:
I am going to see you then.

Ivan:
That would be great because you are in that area.

Priscilla:
That’s right.

Ivan:
I would love to see you. Now, what I wanted to talk about this week was the title of the book: Business Networking and Sex. The subtitle is Not What You Think. I know a lot of people are going to be disappointed because it’s really not about sex. It’s about gender. It’s a really interesting book, and I think that this book is going to help give a lot of exposure to BNI (no pun intended), a lot of branding for the organization because this is one of the best books that I have done. What I wanted to do today is talk about some of the content.

There have been a lot of books written about business networking and referral marketing. I have written quite a few of those myself. There have also been a lot of books written about the difference between men and women, which is what this book is really about. However, it dawned on me and my co-authors a few years ago that no one has ever made the effort to combine the two subjects. So that is how this project got born. Business Networking and Sex, Not What You Think is all about the difference between men and women.

Over a 4 year period, we did a survey of more than 12,000 business people, including the analysis of it. We surveyed 12,000 business people and we asked a couple of dozen questions. After analyzing the results of the survey, which was open to the public and we had respondents from all over the world, every populated continent. We took these survey results and developed the book because of it. My fellow networking experts, Frank Girafle, he writes from the male perspective. Hazel Walker writes from the female perspective. I take the expert prospective. So every chapter is kind of split into three sections: The Survey Says, which is my content, which I try to do as much as possible in a gender-neutral way. Then Frank talks about the He Says. He does anything but gender neutral. He takes the male perspective. Then Hazel does the She Says. Again, it’s not gender neutral. She talks about it from the female perspective.

Priscilla:
What are some of the questions that you asked?

Ivan:
There were a lot of questions that we asked. Most of the questions really didn’t apply to gender so much. They were about basic networking. How much time do you spend networking? What kinds of organizations do you belong to? Where are you located? How many hours do you spend? How much business do you generate? Just basic networking questions that we wanted to compare and contrast the differences between men and women.

It was our desire to understand the communication issues that occur between men and women in the networking process. The three of us focused on combining our personal networking experiences and the data to interpret it in a way that gave meaning to the readers. One thing that we explored in depth was the following very basic question. This isn’t a question that we asked people but a question we went into the book with. Are men and women really so different? Or do we have a tendency to focus on what makes us different instead of how we are similar? Coming to an answer that we could all agree on probably became the foremost concept of the book.

As it turns out, men and women are alike in many ways, as it comes to business networking. They just seem to get to the same place using different roads. If men and women could just understand some basic fundamental points of their different styles, then they can certainly be more successfully when referring the opposite sex.

It’s interesting that our study revealed two very distinct facts, seemingly at odds with one another. The first is that men and women want to get business from networking and are willing to work hard to get it. The second is that they seem to make things so difficult for themselves by only networking in the style that their own gender prefers and understands. This is counterproductive as a professional relationship between a man and a woman based either on what the man wants and is looking for or what the woman wants or is looking for. If they both want to stay connected, they quickly figure out that it takes more to make the other person work effectively with them than what it would seem at first glance.

A lot of men need to get to the point where they no longer offend women. These are some of the things that we came up in the book with- or are no longer misunderstood. Until that happens, they will continue to miss out on the potential to do business with women. The fact that almost half of the world’s population obviously is women and more and more women own businesses and work in companies as sales people.

On the other hand, the guys may sometimes act offensive. Most women need to realize that they play a big part that enables men to continue that behavior without even realizing it. Here is where some of the stuff gets a little controversial with the he said/she said. They certainly play that part every time they have been offended by an off-color comment and yet said nothing and sulked away. They do it when they have been ignore, discounted or rudely referred to but instead of speaking their mind, they just vowed not to do business with that person any more. They do it every time they have ever worn an inappropriate outfit to a business function and then felt offended that no one was taking them seriously, or worse yet, people were asking them out on dates instead of listening to their business ideas.

These are some of the things that we talk about in the book, so it’s a little controversial. We started out with a warning that this book may push some buttons. I just did an interview with a newspaper and the reported said, “Wow. You have tackled issues head on and give a pretty unvarnished position on not only the survey results but the male and female perspective.

What I am sharing with you here, Priscilla, by the way, is not just my perspective. It is the perspective that Frank and Hazel bring to it. I actually have the easy stuff. I am just talking about the data. They get to talk about the more controversial things.

Here are some tips that we give in the book to help people in their networking with the opposite gender. Women, when asking for help, communicate clearly exactly what it is that you want. When speaking to men, try to impress them and share your accomplishments because men have a tendency to impress one another. We talk about that in the book. They start a conversation with what they do, who they are. Women don’t tend to do that, so to deal with men sometimes they need to do that a little more directly. When spoken to inappropriately, speak up immediately. Don’t accept it. Convey an image to others that you are a serious business person in all that you do.

For men, slow down. Build the relationship. Don’t assume that women don’t take their business seriously. Edit what you are about to say using filters to sift out what is not business-appropriate, and comments that aren’t business-appropriate just virtually never go over. It’s interesting that some guys just don’t get that. Remember that women are at networking events for business just as they are. They are looking to generate business just as men are, and they need to be treated the same way in terms of a networking perspective.

Those are a handful of the recommendations that we have. I would invite members listening to this podcast if you think the topic sounds of interest to you, take a look at BNI.com for the book, or Amazon or local book stores. It literally comes out this week, and I think this will be a huge brand builder for BNI because I will be, along with Frank and Hazel, doing literally hundreds of interviews over the next 6 months to a year. Anytime we do an interview, we’ll have an opportunity to mention BNI. This is going to be great exposure, no pun intended, for the book.

Priscilla:
That sounds great. What an interesting book. I am looking forward to reading it.

Ivan:
Thanks. We were pretty excited. It was a lot of fun to do. It was really interesting to do. Just interviewing people for the book was really so interesting. We interviewed John Gray, who wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. He is in the book and also did an endorsement of the book. We have many other people, people who have been on my podcast and good friends of the organization, like Susan Roane. She contributed to the book. We interviewed her. She gives some great insights. One of the things that we put in the book from her was that women have a tendency to- she in particular reads the sports page everyday. I may have talked about this in a previous podcast, but she reads it everyday so that she can have a conversation with men. Men don’t do that kind of thing. We got that concept from Susan.

A lot of great stuff. We tried to integrate some data in there. For example, one bit of data that we think is really important is how much time should you spend networking? We found that people who are successful at networking spend an average of 6.5 hours a week. The people who are not successful in networking spend less than 2 hours per week. Men or women. It’s pretty consistent, although one gender spends a little more time than the other. I plan to talk to you about that in a future podcast. On average, it’s about 6.5 hours a week for people who are successful in networking.

There is a lot of great data in this book, integrated into it. We ended up taking on almost 90% of the tables that we had produced because we didn’t want it to be a book on just statistics. There is not a lot statistical stuff out there, but there is some and it really substantiates or supports the positions that both Frank and Hazel take in their gender perspectives.

That’ all I’ve got for today, Priscilla, other than I want to give a website out to the listeners: www.businessnetworkingandsex.com. If you want to get more information, a free chapter of the book, and listen to some of the stuff that Frank and Hazel say, go to that website. Thanks Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Thanks so much for sharing that. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

A power team is a group of professionals in BNI who work in non-competing, related fields and have developed relationships so they can refer customers to each other.

Here are ten questions you should ask potential members of your power team to strengthen your connections and make it easier to pass referrals.

1. How did you get started in your business?
2. What do you enjoy most about what you do?
3. What separates you and your company from the competition?
4. What advice would you give someone starting out in your business?
5. What are the coming trends in your business or industry?
6. What strategies have you found to be the most effective in promoting your business?
7. If there were anything about your business or industry you could change, what would that be?
8. What is the next big event coming up for you?
9. What’s your biggest challenge at the moment?
10. What type of customers are you looking for? How will I recognize a good prospect for you? What kind of situations are your prospects facing?

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 237 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, and happy new year to you.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla. I appreciate it.

Priscilla:
So you have something to share with us about power teams. What might that be?

Ivan:
I do. I think with the new year and the beginning of the new year around the world, it is a great topic to start the BNI year with. That’s power teams. Power teams can really make a difference in a BNI chapter in terms of the success of that chapter. We have found that several strong power teams tend to generate more business within the group.

A power team is a group of people that are in complimentary professions. They work with the same client but they don’t take business away from each other. Great examples of these are found in the real estate and wedding industries. A realtor, a mortgage broker, a building inspector, title agency, real estate attorney. All service clients looking to purchase property. Now, a wedding planner, a photographer, and a florist all cater to the bride to be. If these professionals form a power team, when one person in the team gets business, then he or she can refer the client to every other member in the team.

Now, many people have heard me talk about power teams and contact spheres. A contact sphere is like a concentric circle. The contact sphere is all of the professions that are symbiotic to you. They are compatible, noncompetitive professions. The power team is the group of people that you actually have the relationship with, So contact spheres are basically a list of professionals that you may have that are symbiotic to you. The power team is the list of professionals who you have a relationship with, you are in a referral relationship with them.

Successful members in BNI have the ability to select and cultivate those mutually beneficial relationships with high quality strategically important business categories. I think it’s an important core competency for success for many members in a BNI group. The question is how do you cultivate those relationships? It’s really important that you find out as much as possible about those referral partners so that you can send the the right kind of business.

In one of our podcasts, we talked about transaction versus relation. This podcast is all about how you go deeper in building the relationship with your power team. The referrals will come as sort of an outgrowth of that relationship. As you build the relationship, you want to help one another, you’re working with one another and you’re finding out about one another. The referrals will come, but first you have to build the relationship. So I am going to give 10 important questions that you should ask your power team partner as well as some tips for the full advantage of information you gain.

This comes from the book, Money on the Table that was co-written with Lee Abraham and I. Lee did a wonderful job of putting together a lot of great content and I contributed to the book with my content as well. From this, we have these ten questions. If you have a chance, take a look at the book, Money on the Table. These questions come from there. When you sit down with your power team partner, here are the questions that you ask:

1. How did you get started in your business? This is a great ice breaker question. Sometimes knowing what motivated your partner to get into their particular business enables you give stronger testimonials about him or her. For example, I met a chiropractor once who told me he had gotten into chiropractics because of the serious injuries he had and how he couldn’t get well until he started seeing a chiropractor. Chiropractic care got him into that industry. That was a very compelling story. If you didn’t know that you wouldn’t fully understand what a believer this guy was in the power of chiropractic care.

2. What do you enjoy most about what you do? Telling a power partner about what you love and why you love it in detail is really important in helping people understand how to refer one another. If you can understand where they are coming from or what they love about what they do, it is easier to refer them.

3. What separates you and your company from the competition? That’s a good one. Now you’re getting a little deeper after hitting those ice breakers. You’re looking for bullet points that can be told quickly and easily to the prospect to illustrate why you can be trusted to do a good job. So remember when you are asking these questions that you are getting this information. Why? So you can refer your power partner. You are getting this so you can refer them. The more you know about them, the easier it is to refer you.

4. What advice would you give someone starting out in your business? Asking for advice shows respect and it’s essential for building credibility, I think, with your networking partner on the road to driving to profitability in the VCP process.

5. What are the coming trends in your business or industry? This is a really good question because it enables you to find out things that maybe you didn’t know about that business. If your power team partner gives detailed information and strategies on how to profit from upcoming trends, you may learn something of value from your own business. Remember, you are in compatible professions. The things going on in their industry could help you or harm you in some way but knowing about it is very important.

6. What strategies have you found to be most effective in promoting your business? That’s a really important one because again, you are in symbiotic businesses. This question leads to brainstorming for each other’s businesses and stimulates the exchange of marketing and promotional ideas as well as business building in general.

7. If there were anything about your business or industry that you could change, what would that be? That’s a really interesting question because it gets people thinking, really thinking. This question in addition to building rapport allows your power team partner to discuss business freely and provides you with the opportunity to suggest solutions or at least gain a better understanding of what challenges that individual may have.

8. What is the next big event coming up for you? This question almost always results in referral opportunities if it is followed up correctly. It could be an event like a trade show, but it could be a holiday, a season that they often do or don’t do business in. Any of those things that I am talking about, what is coming up for you seasonally, or an event.

9. What is your biggest challenge at the moment? The answer will provide insight into your networking partner’s business and what is going on in their business life. It will help you understand him or her as a person as well as possibly uncovering some money on the table in terms of referral opportunities with that person.

10. The last question that you want to ask is: What type of customers are you looking for? How will I recognize a good prospect for you? What are some of the specific situations that your targeted prospects are experiencing? These are all related questions. There is really more than one question there, but in essence, it is the vivid picture that your networking partner paints about who and what they are looking for. The more they do that, the greater the probability of you recognizing their targeted prospects. They are all part and parcel. You’re basically trying to find out what the ideal customer is for your power partner.

If you sit down and have this kind of conversation- we’ve talked about the GAINS Exchange in another podcast. That’s a real good opener for the average person that you are doing a one to one with. But these questions, I think, are the go to questions for your first meeting with a power partner or potential power partner in a BNI chapter. I urge BNI members to print this out and take it to their BNI meetings and start talking about these to they can build the relationship. Remember, it’s not the transaction. It’s the relationship that gets to the business.

Priscilla:
Beautiful. I think those are great questions. The only thing I would add is that using someone’s services in some way or another really is revealing and you get firsthand experience of what they are like to be worked with or receive something from. I find that to be really useful.

Ivan:
Yeah, that firsthand experience is important. You bring up a good one. The power partner may not have actually used the service at the point where they are having this conversation, but if they had, that is something that should be added to the equation. The good and bad. I think if you really have a power partner that you trust, you want to hear what went well and what could I have done better?

Priscilla:
Yeah, right. You could get feedback. Okay. Great.

Ivan:
That’s it for this week, Priscilla. Thank you very much.

Priscilla:
I hope this is a beautiful year for you, Ivan.

Ivan:
As well for you. I just want to say I appreciate all the work you have done over the years. You produce a great podcast, and I thank you. I look forward to another year.

Priscilla:
Okay great. Well, you are my favorite client.

Ivan:
And this is about relationships, not transaction. Remember that, Michael.

Priscilla:
Okay great. That is it for this week. I would just like to remind you listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.