The OFFICIAL Bobbi Billard Blog @ Blogger.com

Dreams Come True! Dream Them! Playboy's Newest Voluptuous Vixen

2010-05-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I just wanted to let you know that I'm in Playboy Voluptuous Vixens June/July 2010 issue on sale at your local newsstand now. Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!! My photos turned out great! I got to shoot with the legendary Arny Freytag and makeup was done by Sara Cranham.

Click here for a sneak peak and to purchase your copy.

Please show your support and pick up a copy. It would really mean a lot to me since as many of you know, this has been a lifelong dream of mine. It would also be great if you dropped Playboy a line and let them know how much you liked my layout.

Email: specialeditions@playboy.com

Snail Mail: Playboy Special Editions, 680 N. Lakeshore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611

Now that I achieved that dream, what do you guys think I should wish for next? Another layout? A cover maybe? With your support, I think we might be able to make it happen. ;)

XoXoX,

Bobbi Billard

www.twitter.com/bobbibillard

www.facebook.com/bobbibillardfans

Madison Square Garden: Muse & Silversun Pickups Concert

2010-03-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

Home of the worst nachos EVER!

Seriously disappointing. I was craving some yummy nachos the entire day of the event but when I finally got them, they were bland with no flavor whatsoever. If I ever expected to eat nachos in prison or hell, take your pick, then this is what I bet they would taste like. And much to my dismay, there was not even an option to have them with jalapenos or salsa. What kind of crap is that?! You'd think an arena in a city like NYC that is known for its food would have better cheese than that. I'm sorry Madison Square Garden, cheap cheese is grounds for a divorce. Next time I'm smuggling in some nachos & jalapenos from 7-11!

On to the show... Started off bad. I couldn't even see straight when Silversun Pickups came on. Lucky me, I selected the section in which I was subjected to a strobe light turning on and off and blinding me the entire show. It was so bad that I had to put my hand up to block it.

I was cursing myself for not bringing a purse big enough to contain my oversized moviestar sunglasses because I sure as hell needed them. Then the light switched from a seizure inducing strobe to straight interrogation style. I was just waiting for someone to come out and start asking me questions like, "Where were you on the night of October 12th, 2009?" The music was great but sorry Charlie, when I pay close to $300 for a seat, I don't appreciate being blinded like that. I am still seeing spots and it's been over 12 hours since the concert ended. If this shit is permanent, I'm going to sue you! Lighting director for Silversun Pickups needs his ass kicked if he thought that lighting was kosher for people sitting in section 58. Everyone in my vicinity was pissed off!!

After Silversun Pickups stopped torturing... *ahem* playing, Muse came on and saved the day with their kickass stage and show. At first I was a little concerned that my seats sucked because of these long columns that were obstructing my view of the stage. Couple that with the light action and I was pretty concerned during the entire intermission.

Fortunately, the columns ended up being platforms and part of the stage. Muse was elevated and began their amazing performance.

They catered to the entire audience with a spinning stage so even people that were initially sitting behind the stage when Silversun Pickups went on still had a pretty good view.

The musical experience was incredible. It was like an auditory and sensory overload, and I mean that in a good way. Thankfully, there were no annoying lights to speak of. My seats suddenly became the best seats in the house and I ended up having a great time.

I'd probably go back for a concert again but I'd recommend avoiding that section (58) or the one directly across from it on the other side in case the opening band decides to barrage you with a constantly flashing search and rescue light. That light was so bright, I felt like I was staring at an actual sun... A Silversun that is! Maybe that was what the lighting director was going for, hence their name, but I really felt violated. I will say that I loved hearing Silversun Pickups play Panic Switch and Lazy Eye. I just wish I could have opened my eyes to watch their performance.

Shame on you Apple for trying to be my mommy when I am in my 30s!

2010-02-23T18:57:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago, I made the switch from Blackberry to iPhone. As with any switch, there have been some things that I miss about my Blackberry and a lot that I love about my new iPhone. Regardless, I'm still torn between the two and could go either way. Just push me over the edge Apple... And today they did! I just read an article on CNN today that pissed me off greatly! It stated that Apple is banning most, but not all of the sexy apps on the iPhone. I was instantly annoyed as I started to read the article about Apple going all puritanical and Big Brother-ish on me while eroding freedom of speech.

The article said, "Apple has tightened its restrictions on sexy or suggestive apps for the iPhone and iPod Touch, and many of the most popular programs in the iTunes app store have been removed.

While speaking to the New York Times, Apple executive Phil Schiller explained, "It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see."

Several days ago the developer of the Wobble app posted the results of his discussion with Apple on his blog. The Wobble app, which adds a jelly-like wobble motion to any user supplied photo, was recently removed because advertisements suggested it could be used on photos of breasts.

I have spoken with Apple, and the following are the new rules:

1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)

BB says: *So you hear that Tanya Harding! No apps for you! Might as well stick to that failed porno you put out years ago to keep the lights on in your apartment. LOL!*

2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn’t ask about Ice Skating tights for men)

BB says: *Well at least they are equal opportunity but think of all the cougars they're going to piss off when they discontinue the "Men In Speedos" app eh? Not!*

3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)

BB says: *LMFAO! My sentiments exactly. I'm taking the anger as if it is ok to publish apps like these. Therefore, I'm moving forward on my "Bodacious Burqas" app as we speak!*

4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic)

BB says: *Hope this Big Brother bullshit doesn't start censoring real life. I've got a mean jiggle. Hehehe!*

5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned

BB says: *Damn! I guess I won't be able to talk about anything on any app I do because I'm all about the sexual connotations, innuendos, boobs, babes, booty, AND sex.*

6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people could get aroused with the pic above but those puritanical guys at Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble "overtly sexual!")

BB says: *People could be sexually aroused over all sorts of things you might not find sexually arousing. Might as well kill the Cesar Milan app if he has one just in the slight case someone is into beastiality. That goes for Lassie and Flipper too. Flipper sounds like some chicks' sex noises in the bedroom. Don't ask!!!*

7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)

BB says: *Don't even start me on Playboy!!! Grrr!*

While most apps containing bikini-clad women are threatened, Phil Schiller defended the Sports Illustrated app to the Times. "The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format," he said.

As of this morning, a Playboy app was also still available, suggesting Apple may accept sexual content if the developer is associated with a strong brand."

BB says: *Can you say hypocrisy?*

I'm sorry I don't even have an iPhone app that has jiggling boobs but I was in the beginning stages of working on one. Whether or not bikini photos were going to be included in my iPhone app were still being ironed out, however, I believe that these apps have a right and a place on iPhone if people want to download them. If Apple thinks being at a beach & wearing a bikini or taking pics in one is offensive, they can kick rocks in my book! I'm boycotting! It's a shame because I like their products, however, I don't need anyone to impose their so called "morality" on me. What is the Pope taking over Steve Jobs position at Apple now? And just what is so offensive about a woman in a bikini anyway?

I can see them making an "18 and Over" section for the iPhone apps that are on the sexier side but for someone to tell me what I can and can't download is a bit much! Especially when you can go on any Safari browser and get on a porn site in two seconds flat. The hypocritical false sense of security Apple is providing to all of you people thinking you've prevented your kids from seeing something that they could see at any local beach is a joke! If your kids are looking for a way to peep bikini photos, they will find a way. They are well versed on how to navigate the internet and if they aren't, plenty of their peers will show them how to find what it is they are looking for. Stop asking major companies to babysit your children! It's not their job to make up for the parenting skills you lack. Thanks for listening! Let me know your thoughts after the beep... *BEEP*

XoXoX,
BB

FAKE BOOBS and the new REAL ME!

2009-12-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

Please read this because this is IMPORTANT SHIT I've never ever talked about before throughout my entire acting and modeling career.

Before all of you girls start contemplating getting a pair of bolt-ons, fakies, breastices, +2s, etc. PLEASE TAKE ALL OF THIS INTO ACCOUNT AND CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING.

I'm often asked, whether or not my boobs are fake or real, who did my boobs, etc. and I have yet to get into my story as I always felt that it was something that was personal and private and that it had no bearing on who I am or what I am about as a person.

Well... after all these years, I am finally going on the record to say that I am a proud patient of Dr. Motykie's and I give him my endorsement. I recently went in for reconstructive surgery with him on December 16th, 2009.

But it hasn't been an easy path for me leading up to this point... I have had 4 prior surgeries on my breasts and have experienced nothing but problems the whole way through. From having my first doctor cut my pocket too low, to having ripples from hell, to having capsular contracture over and over again, to having two different sized and shaped nipples in two completely different spots... You name it, it's gone wrong with my boob jobs. There were periods of time in my life where I was too humiliated to even take my shirt off in front of a guy so I didn't even date and became cellibate. It's certainly been a journey. I have spent over $40,000 in breast augmentations/corrective procedures. And to spend all that money on something that you are insecure about in the first place AND properly do your research/due diligence with thinking you are selecting the right surgeons and STILL be right back where you started from ONLY worse off, is a completely depressing and devastating situation. Not to mention, reading comments from keyboard warrior aholes on MySpace pointing out the fact that one of my boobs sat higher or was bigger than the other (Yes morons, I had capsular contracture and was well aware of the fact, thank you very much!) or having the director on the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial point out that he could see the point (another problem due to capsular contracture) in which my implant was protruding triangularly thru my red Baywatch bathing suit and asking wardrobe if "something could be done about that" wasn't very much fun either. You see they picked ME out of thousands and thousands of beautiful, thin, gorgeous, perfect models and I was the one that was selected and paid a huge amount of money to appear in their commercial. And guess what... I wasn't PERFECT! Not that I ever claimed to be, but I really wanted to give them what it was that they were looking for and felt beyond guilty that I was anything short of PERFECTION because they certainly were paying me all that money to be and there were a whole lot of other girls that they could have chosen instead of me. For a while there, having the messed up boobs was just something that was beyond my control and I had to just deal with and make the best of it. I was either unable to afford another procedure at the time, or I was at a loss as to which surgeon to roll the dice with next, and I got to the point where I was unable to fix the problem no matter how many times I had tried already so why even bother! I was even warned by one of my doctors to "quit while I was ahead" and that "each time I went under the knife, it was going to get successively worse" which scared me even more. He said that they, "weren't that bad". Well I'm sorry but when I've got directors wondering why my boob was shaped like a triangle and they'd picked me to be in their Superbowl commercial, there IS a problem and "it's not that bad" just doesn't cut it!!!

Before meeting Dr. Motykie, I was coming from the mindset in which I had always totally regretted getting my breasts augmented in the first place, was not comfortable at all with the way my implants looked, or the size of them, and I wouldn't advise it to any girl that asked me my opinion when they were considering getting theirs done... but that's a whole 'nuther story right there.

Since meeting Dr. Motykie and having my major breast reconstructive surgery, the ending to my "regret story" has since changed. I now have a happy ending and Motykie was finally able to achieve the results that I had originally set out to get years and years ago.

The first thing I noticed about my consultation with Dr. Motykie is that he LISTENS to you and hears what you want out of the surgery. He also takes his time and thoroughly EXPLAINS everything so that you can make an informed decision and feel completely confident about placing your life in his hands. His anesthesiologist is equally great, personable, and Harvard educated. I wanted him to be my official requested anesthesiologist for life but I guess it doesn't work that way. :(

Dr. Motykie was able to fix all of my botched surgeries and give me the breasts I've been wanting since I first went under the knife. I was told by a prior doctor (who has since lost his license for putting too large of implants in women against their wishes) that I would not be unable to go smaller and that "they wouldn't look right" so I should stick with the 34DDD (800 cc) size I currently was, even though I was extremely uncomfortable in my own skin at that size. Once again Motykie saved the day and was able to reduce my size by 200 ccs and still have them look perfect.

Dr. Gary Motykie also did a wonderful revision job on the scar on my neck that I got courtesy of my wonderful experience of working as a professional wrestler for WWE and my resulting two level fusion surgery. I was left with a thick red scar that was noticeably visible but Motykie was able to correct this for me and I will be forever grateful for his amazing work.

Dr. Motykie is THE God of Plastic Surgery. You may recognize Dr. Motykie from many his many television and media appearances. He's most known for his many appearances on Dr. 90210... but DON'T WORRY, he's not the weird karate guy with the anorexic wife. He is the one who is on that show helping breast cancer survivors that have undergone breast reconstruction but are left with breasts that look and feel alien. He has even received an award from the Celebrate Life Foundation for his dedicated work with breast cancer survivors.

This man is a true artist! Just look over his before and after photos in the portfolio section of his website. Usually doctors specialize in just one thing or another. Motykie has the Midas Touch no matter what his gifted surgeon hands operate on, the results are nothing short of amazing. He's truly gifted and I could not praise him more for what he has done for me! Thank you Dr. Motykie!

And ladies (or men if you swing that way LOL) as an added bonus... there's a reason why he's been dubbed the "Real Dr. McDreamy" and Dr. "HOTykie". Expect to be A LOT a bit wowed about how super hot this lambchop surgeon is... MEEEEEOW!!!! One visit and I just know you'll be saying that "he can put his hands on me anyday"... Hahaha! ;)

For more information, please visit or call the office and tell them Bobbi Billard sent you:

Gary Motykie, M.D.
9201 Sunset Blvd.
Suite 414
Los Angeles, CA 90069
(310) 246-2355
http://www.DrMotykie.com

Hot Blood Sundae Kicks Ass!

2009-08-05T06:10:00.001-07:00

The movie I'm starring in (Hot Blood Sundae) is ranked the #5 Bestseller in the Movies & TV > Horror > Independently Distributed category and the #88 Bestseller here: Movies & TV > Horror > Frighteningly Funny. I am so thrilled! Thank you so much for supporting my very first acting debut everyone and please help me spread the word. :)

Hot Blood Sundae Update

2009-08-05T00:46:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! I have three movies out right now. They are for sale at Amazon.com, Walmart.com (it's not in the Walmart stores though), Suncoast, FYE, Netflix, Blockbuster, etc. but here's a link where you can buy it online.

There are two different versions of my movie so if you are a true Bobbi fan, you should really get both. I'd love to hear which edit you like better so please send me a comment to let me know.

And don't forget that my other movie is out as well. I have several funny scenes in Ryan & Sean's Not So Excellent Adventure. It has been the number one independent film on iTunes for many weeks so check it out too.

XoXoX,
BB

Tweeting Your Way To Your New Dream Job?

2009-07-10T08:05:00.000-07:00

Economy got you down? Millions of people are using social media sites to score new jobs. Make sure you don't get left behind in the dust.

TweetMyJobs.com is the new Monster.com of the ever changing social media age. The advantage to signing up to TweetMyJobs.com as opposed to Monster.com is that with Monster.com you can sign up to receive email notifications for jobs on a daily basis, TweetMyJobs.com subscribers receive notification of a posting immediately. In this economy that lapse in time could mean the difference between getting that awesome new job or you having to continue to pick up your checks at the unemployment office.

However, remember that if you do sign up, those potential employers will have access to your tweets. So... if you are tweeting about your daily drunken escapades wallowing in your sorrow about the woes of being unemployed, that might not be the best way to put your best foot forward.

You might want to make a new Twitter or something. Just a thought... ;)

Anyway, happy job hunting ya'll. And make sure you tweet (and follow) me @BobbiBillard and let me know how it's going for you. Much love and luck. I know it's tough out there.

XoXoX,
BB

I Quit Smoking & You Can Too!

2009-06-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

I Quit Smoking Cigarettes On July 22nd, 2008! Woohoo! Wish me luck! :)

I wrote that sentence above almost one year ago. And guess what! I am STILL a non-smoker to this day. I cannot believe it! I finally was able to quit for good.

This USED to be ME but...
I Quit Smoking Cigarettes On July 22nd, 2008! Woohoo! Wish me luck! :)

I wrote that sentence almost one year ago & guess what! I am still a non smoker to this day. I can't believe it! I finally was able to quit for good & the desire is gone. Sayonara! Good riddance!

I started smoking when I was 17. I knew better than to start smoking. We were taught in school that it was bad for you. Unfortunately, I tried clove cigarettes thinking I was so cool. I didn't know that cloves had nicotine in them & were just as addictive as cigarettes. I mean, my mom had cloves in her spice rack in the kitchen. I thought it was just a spice. Stupid me didn't realize what I was doing to myself & before long it was too late & I was already hooked on nicotine. I ended up switching over to regular cigarettes since the cloves were always hard to find (especially when I ran out. It was easier to bum a Marlboro over a Djarum) & the rest is history. Most of the time I was a smoker I hated it & was actively trying to quit. I quit for a year once when I was on the tv show WOW Women of Wrestling but went back to it after a few drinks one night celebrating our first wrestling match. I thought I could just smoke one or be the type of smoker that only smoked when she drank. I couldn't have been more wrong!

I tried almost every method to quit smoking: Nicorette Gum, the patch, Wellbutrin, Freedom Laser, hypnosis, & cold turkey. Chantix was the only thing that put me in the mindset that I have now. I must say if you need help with quitting, Chantix (Champix in Europe) really works! Best stuff I ever took to help me quit. I highly recommend it.

I know now that even one cigarette puff would be detrimental to all the work that I have put in so far & I'm not willing to go back to square one again. Not to mention, there are so many benefit to quitting. I was an asthmatic but now I don't have problems with that anymore. Plus, I have a little dog that probably would have gotten cancer from second hand smoke had I continued. This is the single best thing I've ever done for my health, my family, & the people/animal that I love. If you need help with quitting smoking, add me as a friend on Community.Become An EX.com and I will be your quit buddy. Let me know if you need support with your decision to stop quit by posting a comment for me. I will be here for you.

Smoking = Epic FAIL!

2009-03-22T15:34:00.001-07:00

My friend Brandi http://twitpic.com/t0gr is going to be on Dr. Phil on Monday for Wedding Nightmares (preview @ http://drphil.com)

2009-03-22T01:48:00.001-07:00

K... Must go to bed! Too friggin' tired to compose anymore sentences this evening. Nite! :)

2009-03-21T21:43:00.001-07:00

Phew! I finally got done inputting all of my passwords into Ping.fm. Here's my first test run. Testing... one two three. :)

Daily Mugshot

2008-12-08T11:55:00.001-08:00

Daily Mugshot

Give it to me baby! ;)

2008-06-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

As I approach 1.3 million friends on myspace, I thought of a brilliant plan. Can you imagine if every single person each gave me a dollar? I'd be rich, right?

Well sorta... First of all, I could never see myself asking ya'll for a dollar. I mean come on... that would be extremely tacky!

However, I came up with an idea and a goal. I see people on these social networking websites building up a lot of fame and notoriety. How many of them are doing things to make a difference in this world? There are a few here and there but the way I see it, there aren't enough. And in this ME ME ME (and what about ME?) driven society, I thought that something must be done. So I set a goal for myself and do you know what I'm going to do? I am going to be the first person to use my position on myspace and these websites to raise a million dollars for a charity that I care about. I am going to raise $1 million to fight pancreatic cancer! And the plan was born...

I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer when I was only 19, and my whole world crumbled. I watched him suffer from this horrible disease and knew that I didn't want anyone else to go through what he went through.

Pancreatic cancer has the worst survival rate and is the most under funded of all major cancers. 75% of pancreatic cancer patients will die within 12 months and less than 5% survive for five years!!! The only way to change the horrible statistics is to raise as much money as possible for research! We've seen what research efforts have done for other diseases. Let's raise money to fund research NOW for pancreatic cancer and not let another person lose someone they love.

The people at Pancreatic Cancer Action Network were kind enough to help me come up with a way to do this. Now I just need your help. I would greatly appreciate it if you would help me out with this plan.

Please give whatever you are able. This is a very important cause to me. Just look at it this way... give up a couple of Starbucks, or give up that pizza & beer for one Saturday night, or one manicure & pedicure, or dinner & a movie. I think you get the picture. Give what you can but give from your heart!

Together, we can really make a difference!

Visit www.pancan.org/bobbi and check it out. All donations are tax deductible and if you donate, you even have a chance to win a date with ME. And... I am going to give an autographed photo to the first 100 people that donate.

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard

P.S. If you cannot afford to give anything (not even a dollar?), another way you can contribute is by helping me spread the word. Please put a banner on your page to help me promote this cause. You can find the code in my "Heroes" section of my myspace.

Do something good today! :)

2008-04-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

Where Jelly Bean?

2008-04-03T04:19:00.001-07:00

Check out how I spent my Easter. This is my nephew. I love him! :)

Gotta' love my mom chiming in, wanting to know when I'm going to start popping 'em out, LOL!

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

XoXoX,
BB

I Got Hacked On MySpace By Some Hot Chick...

2008-03-02T23:42:00.000-08:00

Either that or there was a hiccup with MySpace. Did you guys see that other person's photo in my place today? A few people sent me screenshots of what my photo was showing up as...

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

And the photo wasn't of me. Pretty girl though.... Has this ever happened to you? I saw it happen to my friend Karli before but her photo was a photo of some strange looking guy. Hey, if you are going to get hacked, at least let it be done by some hot chick right?

Anyway, I changed my password just in case and everything seems like it is back to normal.

Special thanks to Oscar and Falcon for emailing me to let me know.

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard
www.bobbibillard.com

SMILE! The OFFICIAL Cheer Up Blog.

2008-02-11T20:37:00.000-08:00

This is what makes me smile and laugh.

I'm going to keep adding to this blog as new things make me smile and I invite you all to post comments here to help make others smile too. I'm aiming to make this the happiest blog on MySpace. :)

Press stop if you want silence so that you can read. :)

Every day I have to walk past a car that is parked in the garage. And this is not just any car! I'm not sure who owns it but it is obviously being stored there and not being driven. It is always in the same spot and over the past few months has collected a pretty thick layer of dust.

Apparently, someone has been inspired by this car and has decided to turn it into their canvas. First, someone drew a lovely picture of a cock with a pair of balls along with "Wash Me" in block letters. LOL! Then a week or two later, I noticed a drawing of a naked woman appeared on the back window of the car. Then yesterday night, my roomie and I went to go pick up some take-out and of course, we happened upon that same car again. I couldn't help but look as I usually do and I'm so glad I did because I noticed that there was something new added. Somebody had written... "You wish your wife was this dirty!" LMAO!

Now I don't really condone drawing on other people's dirty cars but I have to admit, this was the funniest saying I have ever seen written on a dirty car in my life. I thought that it was so funny that I made my roomie take a photo with her iPhone.

And while we are still talking about art, I'm not sure if you heard but not too long ago there was a robbery at a museum in Brazil. I happened to be signing on to AOL to check some emails and I saw the headlines. I've always been interested in art so when I saw that some expensive paintings had been stolen, I clicked on it. I read the story and just by chance started reading some of the comments that people had posted. I got to one that had me laughing my ass off. It read, "What a bunch of idiots! Who would want to steal a painting of Sylvester Stalone in drag?" And now the painting he was talking about which made me LMAO...

It does bear a striking resemblance. If you use your imagination of course. :)

Silly thieves! Hey! Have you guys seen my bra?

Pinky is bad ass! Meow motherfucker MEOW!

Not really funny but it brings a smile to my face and is a great concept. Now who wants a hug?

Everyone, let's make this blog the funniest and happiest blog on myspace. And please send your friends here when you want to cheer them up. It's important to laugh and enjoy life. So spread the word. I'll post some more stuff. I'm off to go scour the net.

What makes YOU laugh? Tell me or post a photo of it below... And please make sure you go thru and remove all links, alt tags, borders, and resizing in the HTML or else it will not go thru and only post one image per comment. Your code should look like this (in HTML code): Less than sign img src = quote link quote greater than sign. If you are confused, just google HTML code to insert an image and read it. It's so easy! Youuuu can doooo it! :) Make sure you check out all the funny pics in the comments and pass this link off to a friend. Thanks in advance for making this the most popular blog ever to make people smile, laugh, and cheer up!

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard

Opai = BOOBS in Japanese!

2008-02-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

Hello, I'm Bobbi Billard and I'm your tour guide. I'm going to take you along with ME on my recent trip to Haiti. We will be accompanied by the lovely Ika (whose voice you will hear in the background of my videos). And the good news is that you won't even have to get up from your computer chair. *wink wink*

In this first video, we are on the plane in first class. We are traveling from Miami to Haiti. We are laughing and being sarcastic about being "bitches in first class". LOL! So kick your feet up, sit back, and relax. Cheers ya'll! Enjoy!

Or click here to watch the first video and comment on it...
Make sure you rate my video 5 stars!

Cliff Notes: In case you were wondering what I said after I said "Cheers", I said "Opai". "Opai" is MY way of saying "Cheers" and it has been a long time joke of mine. The word Opai actually means boobs in Japanese... and Kampai means cheers. As you can see, they sound a little bit similar. So, when I go to a sushi bar, I always make it a point to sit at the bar, order some sake, and yell out Opai instead of Kampai while watching the reactions from the sushi chefs. They either think I am a dumb blonde that is confused about how to properly say cheers, or they think it is funny because I'm extremely busty and I'm cheers-ing to boobs, or they are very traditional and not quite sure how to react. Either way, it's always guaranteed for a good laugh! :)

We are about to land at the Port au Prince Airport in Haiti. Fasten your seatbelts and put your seats back in the upright position. Haiti... here we come!

Or click here to land in Haiti with us...
Don't forget to rate it 5 stars and leave me comments.

We are finally here! Woohoo! Welcome to my trip to Haiti bitches! And I really hope you enjoyed watching me walk the runway. ;)

Remember... There's no such thing as too HOT, too SKINNY, or too RICH. I'm still trying to find out if that's true. I promised that I'll be sure to let you know just as soon as I figure it out.

Fasten your seatbelt, we are going for a ride. I've got shotgun! For safety purposes, we'll be riding around in a bullet proof car. Can someone please pass me my Kevlar bra? We'll be at the beach house in about an hour and a half...

Click here to come along...
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The song playing in the background is from a CD we were playing while driving. Since you guys often ask about the music, it is called Life (Original Mix) by Atfc. At the time, I wasn't paying much attention to it. I was too busy looking around and taking everything in. However, looking back and watching the clips from our trip, I think that this song was very fitting for the drive.

We made it to the beach house safe, in one piece. Lucky you! You missed the stressful part of the car ride. We weren't filming but I thought we were going to die! The roads in Haiti are much different than in the U.S. We were driving over 100 MPH on bumpy dirt roads where there were head on collisions approaching towards us; cows, horses, goats and kids ready to dart out into the road at any given second; mack trucks, busses, and tap-taps (Haitian cabs) running you off the road, etc. Enough about that though. I came to Haiti to have a good time and it's time to relax at the beach... I'm going to try to lay out and get some sunshine after all of that craziness.

Pull up a chair and lay out with me...
Comments and ratings please?

The next day we packed our things and headed back to Ika's parents' house. Her mom had a big party planned for Christmas eve.

Time to go. Hop in the car and see more of Haiti with us.
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Now it's time for the party. Yo! Will someone pour me some more liquid courage please? I was at this Christmas eve party with Ika and a bunch of her relatives and friends. I'm a bit shy around people I don't know that well. Everyone was downstairs by the pool dancing to some extremely loud Haitian music. I can only imagine how loud it must have been down there where the speakers were. The music was really nice but you know you're getting old when you complain about how loud the music is. LOL! Forgive me... I had just had a birthday. Allow me to sulk for a bit.

Want to spend Christmas Eve with ME?
Pour me some bubbly and let's go check this Haitian music out!

Anyway, Merry Xmas Eve ya'll! Too bad I wasn't home to spend it with you all but this will have to do. Better late than never right?

This last video is a slideshow of images taken during my trip so check it out. You'll see the New Years Eve celebration along with everything else that we did.

Click here to check out my slideshow of pics from Haiti...
And make sure you comment and rate my video 5 stars. Thanks!

Hope you had fun. I'm off to bed now. Nite nite! :)

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard
www.bobbibillard.com

Life In Hollywood

2008-01-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

I am going to freak out! Some idiot outside has been laying on the horn of his or her car for a good five minutes straight now and it's not a car alarm. Nope! Whomever it is is typing out some sort of evil annoying morse code on their horn.

If this continues... I'm going to have a headache this big....

And it will have Excedrin written all over it!

Seriously... Ummm dude... do you friggin' mind? I'm trying to think so I can blog here!

Geez! Sometimes I feel like turning into a superhero... like Tank Girl for instance.

Although, I would definitely need to be armed with a pink paintball gun in addition to my big bazookas!

Living in Hollywood is a trip! Just the other day, some dude jumped off our apartment building a few weeks ago, not once but TWICE... and lived to tell about it! I'm seriously not kidding. I wish I was though... Crazy sheeyat eh?

They say the third time is a charm? Let's hope this poor guy learned his lesson!

My roommate and I each placed two separate orders. One from a delivery grocery store and one from a restaurant. We received a phone call from the first delivery guy and supposedly the cops wouldn't let him up into the building because "there was a situation" going down. My roommate responded with, "What does that mean? So if I go out there, am I going to get shot or something?" LOL!

The delivery driver didn't know exactly what "the situation" was but my roommate is a bad-ass and she went down there to get her order anyway. I wasn't surprised at all!

She came back and told me that there was a guy threatening to jump off the building. LOVELY! I hoped that they would at least help talk the guy out of it in time so that I didn't have to deal with the same thing when my food came. I was in my PJs and not feeling all that well that day. That's the whole reason why my lazy ass called for delivery in the first place. The last thing I wanted to do was jump through hoops to get something to eat.

If I had wanted to do all of that, I would have gone and gotten the food myself.

Alas, I had no such luck. Sure enough, my food arrived and same shit! I had to go down and get it myself. Grrr! I changed out of my PJs into something more appropriate to wear outside of the house. I can hear the peanut gallery now... *Boo! Hiss!*

Well... The last thing I would want to do is show up in something skimpy and cause the delivery guy to have a heart attack or something!

This is a fried doughnut burger. Yes, it really exists! And guaran-fuckin-teed to cause a heart attack too!

And as a side note: I'm sorry to ruin your fantasy guys... contrary to popular belief, the scripts that they have in porno movies are usually not based upon actual events.

I really should answer the door like this when they deliver pizzas to me...
However, I really don't care to know if you have an extra large sausage dude! TMI = Too Much Information!

Anyway, while waiting for the elevator, I overheard some chick on her cell phone telling her friend the newest LA gossip scoop... She hung up the phone and I got into the elevator with her. She proceeded to tell me what you and everyone out there in cyber-land are dying to know... What the hell happened?

I guess the suicidal guy ended up jumping down 2 stories inside our building's courtyard. After the first jump, he got up and then went to the pool area. And get this people!!! To add insult to injury, he proceeded to jump off the building AGAIN down to the street below. This guy has got to have a guardian angel in addition to having nine lives or something.

If I ever find out who this guy is, I'm taking him to Vegas with me...

He rolled the dice and lived through both jumps. Supposedly the paramedics came and were attaching stuff to him while he was trying to rip it off of him. Total fruit loop I tell you! She said he must have been on drugs. I agree... I just wonder what the hell he took to make him lose his marbles like that! Anyway... Poor guy! I hope he gets well soon 'cuz that's going to leave a mark! :(

Welcome to Hollywood!

And if that story wasn't bad enough, it's even more fabulous here when the local bar closes every night. Sure enough, like clockwork, at around 2 am every single night, the freaks come out at night. Yelling and screaming their heads off like a herd of dogs in heat. I feel like putting on a bikini, going out onto the balcony, grabbing a megaphone and yelling, "Let me know how all of that catcalling and yelling is working out for you people! No wonder ya'll are going home alone!" LOL!

But my megaphone would have to be PINK...

...to match my paintball gun (of course). *giggle*

Yay! The beeping has finally stopped. And with that, I am out. I'll be in touch with Adventures in Hollywood Part Deux once I have another interesting story to tell you. :)

Much Love,
Bobbi Billard

Fuck Spam!

2008-01-27T19:47:00.000-08:00

If I get another spam email in my inbox, I am going to lose my marbles! I’m sorry to vent but I’m having a really bad spam day and I just had to go through and delete about 300 of these from my inbox and my comments on MySpace. Is it just me or do you guys also receive spam after spam from people trying to sell you everything under the sun?

For starters, don’t you realize that spamming will cause you to be fined heavily once they catch your ass? And if you are ballsy enough to do it on MySpace, they will delete your profile. It says clear as day in the Terms of Service here that you cannot use your myspace for commerce without expressed permission from MySpace. Spammers don’t give a fuck that annoy the crap out of you by constantly emailing and myspacing you. They don’t care that they are wasting your valuble free time. Time that you could instead be spending with friends and/or family members, voluntering to make this world a better place, or even working to keep the lights on in your apartment... No! To the spammers, you are just another dollar sign.

You should think twice when joining the get rich quick schemes on the internet which urge you to spam contacts on your mailing list in order to make a buck.

Sorry ya’ll! That’s my rant of the day. Please please, for the love of God, quit spamming me! I promise that I’ll return the favor.

I’m off to take a nice hot bubble bath now. Calgon, take me away!

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard
http://www.bobbibillard.com
http://www.youtube.com/bobbibillard
http://www.myspace.com/bobbibillard

In the name of Jesus... Please read this! :)

2008-01-24T15:45:00.000-08:00

I'm caught in the middle of a religious debate. I recently received a message from someone who told me that a preacher was going around slandering my name. I went to YouTube and sure enough, there was the video of Pastor G. Craige Lewis from EX Ministries. In the clip he talks about a religious singer named Fred Hammond and blasts him for having ME as a friend on his MySpace. He says my name, "Bobbi Billard" and calls me a "porn star". Check it out...

For those that don't know already, I am NOT a porn star. A porn star is someone that has sexual intercourse on film and makes XXX movies. To each his or her own but I have never done that. Granted, I have done Playboy style nudity during my career and some people equate nudity with porn. I do not agree. I think the human body is a beautiful thing. There are many works of religious artwork that have nude figures (some is even featured in the great cathedrals all over the world). To quote a friend of mine, "if Nudity was so horrible perhaps God should have had us all born in clothing..LOL". Regardless, Pastor Lewis did not do his research before making this video about me. And apparently he completely missed the following passages in his bible...

Romans 14:10 But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

In other words... But you, why do you make yourself your brother's judge? or again, why have you no respect for your brother? because we will all have to take our place before God as our judge.

Romans 14:13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

In other words... Then let us not be judges of one another any longer: but keep this in mind, that no man is to make it hard for his brother, or give him cause for doubting.

Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

In other words... Be not judges of others, and you will not be judged: do not give punishment to others, and you will not get punishment yourselves: make others free, and you will be made free:

Luke 6:41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

In other words... And why do you take note of the grain of dust in your brother's eye, but take no note of the bit of wood which is in your eye?

Exodus 20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Pretty self explanatory right there.

I do not believe that people have the right to go around condemning people and saying whether or not Jesus would accept them. It is not their place. I prefer Jesus of Zion to the guy in this video. If you have ever heard his WWJSNL show on NowLive.com, you would see what I mean. He teaches about LOVE, not hate. Check him out sometime and add him to your myspace.

And make sure you add Fred Hammond to your myspace. I am a fan. Here's a video of him responding to people that criticize whom he accepts on his myspace. I applaud him for standing up for what he believes in and not backing down to the pressure from people like Pastor Lewis.

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Post em after the beep... *BEEP*

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard

My Bobbi Billard LIVE Show is moving to Thursday nights!

2008-01-23T23:07:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that my show will be moving from it's usual Sunday night slot to Thursday nights at 8 pm Pacific (11 pm Eastern). You can catch me LIVE on the air and webcam right after the Adrianne Curry Show. Please stop by our shows and check it out.

Click Here to Chat Live 24/7 with this show

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard
http://www.nowlive.com/bobbibillard

Help Fight World Hunger With the Click of a Mouse!

2007-11-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

Help fight hunger with the click of a mouse. This site is FREE! It doesn't cost a thing but your time. You can help out a worthy cause while you might even learn a thing or two. Please click the banner below, answer the vocabulary questions, and FreeRice.com will donate a portion of rice to the United Nations to help end world hunger. Please spread the word to all your friends and make a difference in this world! Thanks ya'll!

NEW Revamped MySpace Profile Text! :)

2007-10-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

First off... Happy Halloween!

And... I fixed the problem with my MySpace page http://www.myspace.com/bobbibillard thanks in part to help from both Eazy-D and DiDi! Thank you both for taking time out of your day to help me out! It is much appreciated. :)

And thanks to everyone else too. :)

So... I did it. I finally got around to changing my MySpace profile text ala "The Secret" and reflecting the new ME. I know I was promising that I was going to do this quite a while back but I finally had a chance to get around to it AND was inspired enough to write it all out today. It was a bit hard for me to let go and hit the delete button on some of the stuff that was written there. I will still miss a lot of what I had written. Some of it had a good message. I talked about how girls are mean to guys that come up to them in bars and how girls shouldn't be mean to someone who found them attractive and had the balls to approach them. There was also the part about "When it comes to games, I can be Milton Bradley, but why should I have to go there?" that I thought was pretty clever at one time.

Some of it was easier than other parts to let go of...

For instance, this part:

"I'd love to meet some NORMAL people! I'm not a big fan of DRAMA and I can't stand the whole "it's all about what you drive, where you live, how much money you make, what brand of clothes you are wearing" typical L.A. bullshit that I have to deal with on a day to day basis. Don't get me wrong, I like nice things like the next person, but if you base your entire existence on that... you are one sad individual! I believe in working hard and playing even harder. I'm a very generous person... but don't take me for granted. Looks can be deceiving... I'm a whole lot smarter than I may look to you. It's not difficult to get along with me, please just be REAL and use common courtesy and all will be good."

and this...

"What's my type? Well, the first thing that attracts me to a man is how he speaks. Intelligence is such a turn on. After that to keep me around, treat me well! Be the same person that I met and liked in the beginning. Don't turn from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde... I'll call you on it, believe me! I absolutely hate games... when it comes to games, I can be Milton fucking Bradley... but why should I have to go there? Basically, nice guys never finish last in my book! So be nice, or be gone!"

Even though, I liked what I wrote and was proud of it, some unoriginal chick that I used to hang out with jacked some parts of my profile text and posted it on her own profile a while back. It used to be that she gave me credit for it and mentioned my name. However, when we stopped hanging out, she removed the credit, acting as if she had written it herself. Plagiarism on myspace at it's finest, I tell ya! I tried to ask her why but she wouldn't respond to my messages, nor would she delete it off her page. I guess I should be flattered, after all, they say, imitation is flattery, correct? However, it is a bit annoying when you took the time to think up something witty and then other people are reading it elsewhere, not just on your page. Then it looks as if maybe they wrote it and you are the clepto. Get what I mean? Awww well... I am done with it. She can have the text and with it the negativity that I feel goes along with it.

I took it off my profile for a reason. By talking about DRAMA, games and game playing, people that are superficial, etc., I am putting that out there in the universe and therefore will be attracting more of the same. Fuck that! It's gone! It's all yours now girlie q! Enjoy! ;)

I hope you all like the new stuff I wrote on my profile. I am quite happy with it and think that it reflects the new "ME" very nicely. Let me know what you think. :)

XoXoX,
Bobbi Billard
http://www.myspace.com/bobbibillard