So as you may have heard, this Sunday is kind of a big one in my life…I’ll be teaching for the last time as lead pastor of a church we planted 13 years ago. (Notice I said last time as lead pastor, because I’m hoping they’ll invite be back down the road!) So as you might imagine, this is not the easiest message to prepare….more for the emotion than anything.

That said to say I’m having enough difficulty working on the message, so I’m not planning on doing anything here on the blog…although I reserve the right to change my mind if inspiration strikes.

Free Book

I wanted to announce our two winners for the free copies of “Speaking of Jesus: the Art of Not Evangelism.” The first winner was the  50th person to sign up for the Dublin Church Plant eNewsletter…And that was David McIntyre, a member here at the Ithaca Vineyard. The second book went to Kayla Altland. Kayla was part of the Vineyard while a student at Cornell.  For the second book, we took the names of everyone on the Dublin Church Plant eNewsletter and everyone who has “liked” the Dublin Church Plant on Facebook and picked one.  There is still an opportunity for one more free copy of ”Speaking of Jesus: the Art of Not Evangelism,” simply be the 100th person to sign up for the eNewsletter (deadline is May 31 though).

Looking Forward to Saying Words With the Letter S.

I think I’ve improved quite substantially over the past 4.5 weeks, but I am really looking forward to getting the splint out of my mouth tomorrow. I was going to put up a picture, but most of the ones that illustrate what is does show the inside of people’s mouths & who wants to see that.

Elsewhere on the post surgery front…I still have a lot of numbness, especially from my lower lip to my chin, and my gums. The inside of my lips do not feel numb, and in fact are quite sore from the surgical hooks on my braces…here’s hoping they come out tomorrow as well. Finally, while my upper lip & nose aren’t numb, they still feel a bit “tingly” are strange when I touch them.

I still can’t open my mouth very wide (Méabh gave me her cold, and the cough drops just fit in between to give you some idea). But that is normal I’ve been told and full range of motion should return soon.  (So you’ll probably notice me cutting my food into tiny bite-sized bits on Sunday…that is for me, not Méabh.)

Back to Work…

Well, I guess I eventually need to write this thing…a prayer or three would be appreciated!

Related posts:

1. Great Way to Start a Week…
2. A Couple Thoughts on Transformation

While there is not so much in the winter, spring, summer and fall around Ithaca are full of a lot of great, free, outdoor music. Whether it is at one of the many festivals through out the area, music series such as at @ Taughannock State Park or the Commons,  or just in many other random venues around town, there is almost always a great concert playing somewhere in town. My only regret is that I didn’t get out and hear more while I was here.

We did get down to the commons today to see one of my favorite Ithaca artists, Hannah Wilson playing for “Rock the Arts.”

Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. Things I Love About Ithaca – Taste of Thai
2. Waxing Nostalgic…Things I Love About Ithaca

I remember years ago reading an interview with George Will (at least I think it was George Will) where he was asked how he came up with columns on a regular basis. His response, to paraphrase was, if you can’t find 3 things that make you angry every week, you are not paying attention. 

Now, there are a couple things I have generally tried to avoid in this space…politics, and venting when I’m angry. Well, last night I read an article online, about Mitt Romney, and it made me angry.

First off, full disclosure…I have three school age daughters. One of them was sexually harassed by other students in her 6th grade class while attending a local religious school. It took a lawyer making a phone call to the principal before the issue was addressed.

Another daughter was physically attacked by student at one of the Ithaca middle schools (our daughter was not her first victim). The case went through family court, involved orders of protection, and eventually led to us moving out of Ithaca to get our kids in a different school district.

So, bullying in school is a bit of a touchy subject for me.  And it seems, according to almost anyone paying attention, it is becoming, especially now that cyber-bullying has been added to the mix, a problem that is becoming more and more out of control.

That was why Romney’s “apology” for his actions in prep school seemed so completely tone deaf. If you have not read the story yet, he and some friends pinned down another student and cut off his hair. Romney’s response was that he at times engaged in “pranks and hijinks” and sometimes they went too far. Put your politics aside for a minute, and picture 5 people doing that to your kid or grand kid. Listening to them cry and scream in fear.  Are you thinking “boys will be boys” or assault?

Now, most of us I’m sure have said and done things that we deeply regret. And what a person did in 1965 as a teenager…how much does that have to do with whether or not they are qualified to be president? Probably not too much. 

Of course, for Romney, the issue is complicated, first by the fact he is running for president, and second by the fact that the person he attacked was gay.  But I would have loved to see him take ownership of what he did regardless of the political fallout. Don’t qualify your statements with ifs. “if I did it…” Don’t wait for the pollsters to figure out what we want to hear you say on the topic. If you regret what you’ve done, and your actions have eaten at you for years, tell us that (your friends who remember the incident vividly admit it has bothered them)…we are pretty forgiving. And if you really don’t think what you did was a big deal, don’t say, you don’t remember the incident.

Real leadership is about looking out for, not taking advantage of those weaker. It is about taking responsibility when we act in ways that hurt others.

No related posts.

I’m pretty sure I know how to stress you out…to make you feel at least a little bit guilty.  In general, if you are an evangelical Christian, I know I just need to ask you a series of questions with the word “enough” at the end.

“Are you reading the bible enough?”

“Are you praying enough?”

“Are you sharing you faith enough?”

“Are you giving, serving, fasting, (you get the idea) enough?”

Cue the guilt.  Cue the excuses.  But before you do that here is another question: “What does enough even mean?”  For most of us, our tendency, when it comes to spiritual practices, we define “enough” as something beyond what I am currently doing. And since we can never reach that, we settle for feeling guilty about all of the things we should be doing.

When I was in college, I attended a church and a campus ministry that both called people to a high standard.  We were told we should pray hour a day at our campus ministry.  At the church, “give your tithe, and more.”  In the campus ministry, “go out and evangelize weekly.”

This all took place at a time in my life where I was for the first time ever becoming serious about my faith. And so every message where someone told me, “here is what you need to do on a daily, weekly, whatever basis,” I gave it a shot.

A couple years in I started to notice something.  I only had 24 hours in a day.  When you took out work, sleep, school, etc. I only had a few hours left every day, and they weren’t enough to do all of the things I was supposed to do.  So I started to fall into what I saw a lot of others around me doing which was feel guilty about all the stuff I couldn’t do.

One day I was sitting in my parent’s living room thinking about this when it hit me that the people I read about in scripture, they didn’t tend to stress about this kind of stuff.  They basically lived their lives, of which God was a big part.

So I got this idea.  ”What if I took the biblical idea of freedom in Christ and applied it to this part of my life?” What if, when I had one of those days where I didn’t read the bible due to whatever…rather than beating myself up, at the end of the day, I told God something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t read the bible today.  Please help me to get to it tomorrow.” And then actually believed that God was okay with that (that means I had to believe that He forgives…that He is full of grace and mercy…and that He actually likes me.)

Now, some might wonder, isn’t this just giving permission to ignore all of these things we’re supposed to be doing?  I guess someone could do that…although if you’re looking at doing this as a way to fool God, that seems like a losing proposition. I come at it more from the direction of, if there is a person I feel guilty towards…I should have done something, but didn’t, I don’t want to spend much time around that person.  It makes me uncomfortable.  But when I can tell them I messed up…I sinned, and they say they forgive me, I actually feel comfortable around that person and want to do better.

This has made a tremendous difference in my life.

Is there an area where you need to stop beating up on yourself and allow God to bring some grace?

[this is a repost of a post I wrote in early 2011]

No related posts.

I read an article by Thom Rainer this weekend and it got me thinking. In the article he lists the 5 most difficult challenges for a pastor. [read the full article here]

• Responding graciously to someone right before you preach.
• Knowing what do with a staff member who is not making a vital contribution to the church.
• Loving a person in the church when that person is your critic.
• Preparing more than one quality sermon a week.
• Doing the funeral of a person who was not a Christian.

Now not all of them fit for me…However, I have wondered how anyone can prepare more than one message per week. (Although when I think back to my days in Albany, the pastor there normally used Sunday night service to complain about why people didn’t come out to Sunday night service anymore.)

For me, the one that hit home was dealing with critical people. (And I don’t mean people who have a criticism. That is generally how things get better. I’m talking about people who are normally critical.) It seemed for a few years I found myself spending more and more time dealing with people who simply wanted to tell me how bad I was, or how bad the church was. It got to a point where I dreaded opening my email, or I’d see the caller ID on the phone and I’d feel the knot in my stomach.

I’d let it get to such a place, where I was getting resentful towards our church. Because it seemed like our church was full of people who only complained. And then one Sunday, I was in the back during worship, and I went down each row and realized, I really like almost every one of these people. There were a handful who would not have made my list of “people I’d invite to a party,” but that day was helpful in making a change in who I related to people who seemed to love stirring up trouble.

I wanted to share 5 things that have made a major difference for me.

1) Realize What Is My Stuff & What Is Not:

This one I’d known, but I needed to be reminded. I make more than enough mistakes, and when confronted with them, I need to take ownership of them. At the same time, just because a someone else accuses you or me of having a problem doesn’t mean there is one.

We had a couple a number of years ago both of whom had grown up with basically absentee dads. The were getting started in their careers and both struggling in that regard (they were both losing their jobs). To complicate matters, they began having some relational issues within the church. And as they were struggling with all that was going on, the problems at work…well, they both had terrible bosses. The problems at the Vineyard…that would be the terrible pastor. In fact as they recounted some of their stories of what upset them with me, there were other leaders who stepped in and said, “that was me you spoke to, not Bob.” But that didn’t matter, their minds had already been made up.

If you are a pastor, you are a lighting rod for people who have had bad experiences with authority. While our heart’s desire is to help those who find themselves in that place, taking their stuff onto ourselves, doesn’t help anyone.

2) No Agenda…No Meeting: 

A number of years ago, a young man in our church who’d never really talked all that much to me, sent an email basically saying, “I’d like to get together and talk. I’ve been coming to the Vineyard for a while & we’ve never gotten to hang out and chat.” The first hour of the conversation was pleasant & enjoyable, and the next 20 to 30 minutes were a litany of all of the things he believed I had done wrong as a pastor. From style of leadership, to my sense of humor, to, well, you get the idea.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I let him do it to me again a few months later. You know that scene in Ghostbusters where they get slimed? Yeah, that is kinda what those meetings felt like. A few months later, when he wanted to meet to tell me why he and his wife would no longer be attending the Vineyard, I said that I think our previous two meetings had made that abundantly clear and I thought we could avoid meeting again.

This one took me a while to learn, but it has made a huge difference. If someone calls or emails, and requests a time to meet, but refuses to say what they wish to discuss, I won’t meet with them. I mean, if I ask someone to meet with me, I’ll let them know what I want to talk about. It seems disrespectful and inconsiderate to not do so. Now, I don’t think they need to spell out the whole conversation ahead of time, even a, “Hey, I’d like to follow up on our conversation from yesterday. I have some concerns with how it went,” would be fine.  That allows them to meet with me having had some time to process and prepare for our discussion.  But when the person refuses to tell you anything about what they are upset about, most likely they are coming fully loaded and want to ensure you are starting off in a defensive positional.

When I was a campus pastor and wanted to have lunch with a student to hang out, I soon learned most of them thought we were meeting because they were in trouble. So I got in the habit very early on of communicating what I wanted to talk about, so it didn’t cause them unnecessary stress. And then I finally decided that if I could do that for other, I could do it for myself as well.

3) No Meeting Without an Ending time: 

I’d read a book by Steve Sjogren a number of years ago and he said that he allotted a certain portion of his week to negative conversations and after that he was done. “Sorry, I already have 60 minutes of negative meetings this week. We’ll need to schedule something for next week.” While I didn’t do that so much, I did start telling people who wanted to meet because they were upset, that we would have 30 minutes to meet. While many would say that was not enough time, I would ensure them it would be and say we could have a follow up meeting the next week if it wasn’t.

What I’ve seen over and over is when a person knows they have a limited time, if forces them to focus on the heart of the issue.

4) I Can’t Make Everybody Happy or Fix Anybody:

I spent way too much time for a number of years saying, “But this person has so much potential.” Of course it was usually said in the context of a discussion with other leaders as we worked to fix another blow up, this gifted person had just had. I kept thinking we’d be able to figure out how to make this person happy…that if we could manage this, or give them that, or make sure to tip-toe around them when they were stressed, then they would not have another messy conflict that we needed to address. (The very first Vineyard National Conference I went to, had a workshop, and the speaker made the point, you can not change people’s character…I should have listened better).

One of the most important things I learned over the past few years was from Peter Scazzero & Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. He makes the point that if a person is not emotionally or relationally healthy, they cannot be spiritually healthy. He pointed out something I was guilty of which was putting people in leadership because they could get things done…not because they were emotionally and spiritually healthy. That was not fair to them…to our church…to the rest of our leaders or to me. And it caused a lot of problems that we didn’t have to have. (See point 1…if it is your stuff, take ownership)

5) I Only Have So Much Energy:

As an introvert, I need time alone to recharge. I have so much “people time” in a day, before I get depleted. And “people time” where the focus is what a jerk I am…that can suck days worth of energy pretty quickly.

One of the things I regret is that I had a few years there where I let my time get taken by people who simply worked to tear down what we were doing here, and didn’t often have enough left for the amazing group of people who have made up the overwhelming majority of the Ithaca Vineyard.

What I am excited about is that over the past 2 years, our church council staff and leaders have really worked on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, and getting in a better place as a leadership team. There have been some difficult steps along the way, I think our church is in the best place it has ever been.

What have you found helpful in dealing with critical people?

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Okay, so let’s get this out of the way now…food will make several appearances over the course of this series. In part because:
1) Ithaca, as Eric Callahan mentioned in yesterday’s comments, has a lot of really great places to eat,
2) I like food, a lot,
3) Since I am still on a liquid diet for a couple more weeks, I’m thinking about food a lot.

And without question Taste of Thai is my favorite place to eat in Ithaca. Now, I did check to make sure there is a Thai restaurant in Clontarf, but we’ll have to wait & see if it can match Taste of Thai. Before moving to Ithaca, I had never eaten Thai food…at this point in my life it I had to pick one type of food to eat every day for the rest of my life…it would be Thai.

Top 5 Reasons I love Taste of Thai:

1. Cashew Chicken (I’m pretty boring & order this 99% of the time)…it is amazing!
2. Spicy. While the menu says you can order your spiciness on a scale of 1-5. But if the right people are working that day, they will go up to 10 for you
3. Gluten Free. Since Liz cannot eat gluten, and this is the one Thai restaurant in town that promises your food will be gluten-free, and even has a gluten-free menu, it takes  all the stress out of eating out.
4. Price.  Very Reasonable & you get a good-sized meal too.
5. Low Carb. 99% of the time they’ll substitute your rice for an extra portion of vegetables.

Related posts:

1. Things I Love About Ithaca – So Much Great Music
2. Waxing Nostalgic…Things I Love About Ithaca

This July 4th weekend will mark the 18 year anniversary of when Liz & I moved to Ithaca from Albany. While I know Liz was hoping we’d settle down in the area and raise our family, I was thinking 5 years and we’d be on to our next adventure. I mean Ithaca was small…it was in the middle of nowhere and they didn’t even have a professional sports team.

Turns out we both fell in love with the place. And if it weren’t for our sensing that God is calling our family to Dublin, Ireland to plant a church, we would have planned on being here for a lot longer.

So since our time in Ithaca is coming to a close, I wanted to write a few posts sharing some of the things I’ve loved about this place. A couple of things to keep in mind…1) I’m writing about “things” not people. If I were to write about people I love, who’ve made our time in Ithaca so amazing, I would be sure to forget a person or two.  Although I reserve the right to write about a person…I don’t plan to do that. 2) I don’t promise that any of this is going to be profound…just talking about stuff I like.

At the same time, I’ll try to keep them a bit shorter than my normal posts. So rather than starting right in, we’ll leave it there for now.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear what you love about Ithaca.

Related posts:

1. Things I Love About Ithaca – Taste of Thai
2. Things I Love About Ithaca – So Much Great Music

Follow the Dublin Church Plant for a Chance to Receive 1 of 3 Free Books

Over the past several months we have been setting up a Dublin Church Plant newsletter to keep those interested up-to-date with how we are progressing as our family prepares to move to Dublin, Ireland, and willing to pray for us as well. (The newsletter is almost all information that is not made available on the blog.) With the date of our departure getting closer, we are hoping to find more people who’d be willing to subscribe to our newsletter, and in turn be praying for us.

For us, we know it is far more likely people will be praying if they know what is going on.

Here’s the deal, I am looking to give away 3 copies of one of the best books I’ve read over the past couple of years, Speaking of Jesus: The Art of Not-Evangelism, by Carl Medearis.  So how do you snag a copy?

We currently have 42 subscribers to our newsletter,You will receive a copy of the book* if you are:

1) the 50th person to subscribe to our newsletter, or

2) the 100th person to subscribe to our newsletter (deadline of 5/31/12).

So that is the first two books. How do you win the third? On May 15th, every person subscribed to our enewsletter list, or who likes the Dublin Church Plant on Facebook will be entered into a drawing for a third copy of the book. (If you are subscribed to the list & you like the Dublin Church Plant on Facebook, you’ll be entered two times.) This way those of you who’ve been with us through out have a chance to grab a book as well.

Again the links are to subscribe to our newsletter.  To Like us on Facebook.

Thanks!

*if you already have a copy of Speaking of Jesus, we’ll include a copy of the book I’m currently re-reading, Fierce Leadership, by Susan Scott.

Related posts:

1. Dublin Church Plant Stuff
2. Invitation to Learn More About the Dublin Church Plant (& get a free lunch)
3. a little housekeeping

Photo Credit: Courtney Dirks

As much as I love computers and gadgets, noneof them have ever replaced my need for yellow legal pads. (although I do find myself using OmniFocus more and more for my projects & assorted lists…there is still something about writing stuff out on paper.)

I am constantly making list, crossing items off and then starting a new list…the recycling bin in my office is mostly crumpled up sheets of yellow paper. As an INTJ (Myers-Briggs) I am always thinking in terms of strategies & systems. It doesn’t matter if it is at church, at home, planning a trip, or playing a game…my brain is naturally wired to figure out how something works and then work the system.

Well, one of the things that I’ve found so helpful in getting done the things I need to get done is making to-do lists. Here are 5 reasons I’ve found them to be helpful.

1) Lists help me remember important things.

I think the longest stretch I ever went through was 4 days in a row, but I confess I’ve had those days where I’m in the shower, realize we are out of soap or shampoo, and then don’t remember again until the next day when I’m back in the shower reaching for the shampoo. And while that isn’t a big deal (unless you have to sit by me that day…or especially day 4), the fact is, throughout the day there all kinds of ideas that pop in my head of things I should do, and unless I write them down, most likely I won’t remember them again until it is to late.

2) Lists reduce stress

With preparing to move to Ireland, there are a number of things that we need to accomplish. For the first several months of planning, Liz and I both had ideas of things that needed to happen, but everything was mostly floating in the ether. But once we took the time to sit down and make a list (a very long list), everything felt much more manageable. We were able to see the bigger picture; see how one thing lead to another; recognize that there are certain things, that though important cannot be done until a later date.

It also gave us the assurance, that now that it was down on paper, it was not going to be forgotten.

3) Lists keep important ideas fresh in my mind.

I tried an experiment with my to do list this week. I wrote a list of 7 or 8 things that were missing, that I wanted to find. It included my wedding ring (took off pre-surgery), a couple of books, a charger, and a few other items. Now, the ring was easy, I just needed to remember to look…I normally only remembered when I was somewhere other than our apartment. But the two books, one had been missing over a year, the other about two. Earlier this week I was talking to Erin Smith about a TED talk I’d watched last week…it was in fact by the author of the book that had been missing for two years. As I began to tell her about the main point of his talk, she asked me his name, and when I repeated it, she said “that is so weird, Ivan was talking to me last night and said he has the copy of your book by that guy.”

I mentioned that story to my wife and she said, “you know some of your books are on the shelf in my office right?” I didn’t, but guess which book was one of the several of mine sitting on her shelf!”

Those two books have been missing for a long time…Occasionally I’d look, but what are the chances I’d be in Ivan’s apartment and decide to look for my missing books? But the simple fact of putting a group of lost items on my to do list moved them to the front of my mind and they even ended up in conversations with people. And within 3 days, every item on my list, other than a charger, has been found.

4) Crossing stuff off a list (accomplishing a task) is energizing.

Since I’m still recovering from my surgery, I’ve found myself much more easily tired than normal. I’ve been going home earlier in the afternoon catching a nap and then working again later. One night this week, I’d gotten not much of anything done, and was sitting there with my list & thought what can I do in less than 5 minutes? Once that was done, I found another short task. And with each one I completed, I felt energized and was able to spend about 90 minutes knocking stuff off of my list.

I’ll find the same thing when I get stuck with writing a message. Often after writing for a while my brain will feel like it is stuck in mud and does not want to do anymore thinking. Having a list which often includes things that require not a lot of thinking feels very refreshing and allows me to return to my more “brain-intensive” task in a much better state.

5) Keeping lists frees you to enjoy life and others.

Have you ever noticed that when you sit down to pray, or read the bible all the things you need to do over the course of the day come to mind? Calls to make, appointments to keep, errands to run. All urgent…all make you think if I forget this, it’ll mess up my day.

Or you’re having a conversation with another person and the same thing happens, and rather than listening to them, you mind is wandering thinking about all of the things you need to do, or at least obsessing on the one that just popped into your head.

By having a list in your pocket that you carry with you…you can simply write down the thought on you list, assured that it will not be forgotten, and then return to be fully present with God, or with the person you happen to be with.

A couple suggestions:

The best type of to-do list is one that you will actually use. You might work well with something like OmniFocus, or another piece of software…I’ve used a small Moleskin note that would fit in my back pocket…my friend James simply carried around a scrap piece of paper (his list is pretty amazing & you should ask him if you can see it sometime). But again, the big thing is, find something that works for you.

How about you? Are you a list maker? Why or why not?

* Photo Credit : Courtney Dirks

No related posts.

If you know me, you know that I love to read. As a kid it started with comic books (The Justice Society of America was my favorite), and the Chronicles of Narnia, and reached its height when I found a wife who reads even more than I do! (our kids had no chance…they all love books)

One of my favorite things to read now are blogs. The only problem was, I don’t really enjoy reading for extended periods of time on my laptop. And then this past winter I discovered something…I actually don’t mind reading on a smaller portable device. For Christmas, one of my daughters gave me the first book in the Game of Thrones series. I finished it in a couple days, and wanting to know what happened next, immediately downloaded book two to the Kindle app on my iPhone. Then, over the course of the next 5 weeks, book, 3, 4, and 5. So that is about 3700 pages read on something as small as an iPhone screen.

So realizing how much more reading I could do with something like this, I broke down and got an iPad. Well, there was a second much larger reason too…If you’ve ever been in my office and seen my library, think for a minute about how much it would cost to ship all of those books to Ireland. So I’m in the process of trying to digitize my life as much as possible right now…getting all my CDs into iTunes. turning all of my papers into pdf and storing in Evernote or Kindle, and getting ready to replace my library (it makes me sad to write that).

Now, do the the insanity of life over the past few months, (surgery, preparing to move to another country, wrapping up our time in Ithaca, little stuff like that) I actually haven’t read too many books. But I have been reading a number of blogs, much more frequently. Now that I’m not limited to reading on a laptop, that has been a lot easier.

[My two favorite resources for reading on iPhone & iPad are: Feeddler & Flipboard.]

Clearly, we all have different topics we enjoy learning about, that may hold zero interest for anyone else. The topics I tend to gravitate towards are: Church Leadership, General Leadership, Behavioral Science, Productivity, and Mac/Tech stuff. (I’m wanting to start reading a bit more about photography, but only have one that I read regularly, and they don’t post all that often.)

So all that to ask you this…I’m looking for some blog suggestions. Who do you read regularly that you’d recommend to others? I’d love to hear your suggestions…please leave links in the comments below so that other’s can check them out too.

No related posts.

What is our goal?

Whether we are talking about our Sunday service, our kinships, or really anything we do as a church, when we get to the question of, “what are we hoping to see happen out of this?” it always comes down to transformation. Will what we do, & how we do it, help people to become more like Jesus?

As I looked in the mirror and noticed a face quite different than the one I’ve been looking at for years, a few thoughts about transformation popped into my head.

Transformation takes time.
My dentist first suggested this procedure 4-5 years ago, and I wrote it off. When he brought it up again, it took about 6 months to get in to see a specialist. About that long to get approval from the insurance company. Once that was set up, it took almost 5 months to get into see the orthodontist.

Once I saw the orthodontist, I had the braces on in a matter of days,  but that was last May.  I’ve had tons of x-rays, and molds of my mouth…computer modeled of my jaws have been made. And then last week I had the surgery. Now, 5 weeks of healing, then more time with braces to fine tune everything.

Transformation is beyond me.
In order for this whole process to move forward, I needed to rely on a whole team of people who specialized in various areas. The orthodontist…the Maxillofacial/Oral surgeon…the anesthesiologist…the nurses…the staff of each doctor. And of course my dentist, who after I turned down his first request to move forward on this, sat me down and told my why this was so important.

I was totally incapable of doing any of the work…I had to allow those who knew what they were doing to do what needed to be done. I had to trust them….even if it seemed difficult, and I would have chosen something else.

For Transformation to happen, I need to cooperate.
While I was at the mercy of others, I needed to regularly make a decision to stay there. I needed to show up for my appointments, not eat things I wasn’t supposed to eat, not eat or drink the day of the surgery. And now, to recover from the surgery, there are more instructions I need to follow.

Transformation is not comfortable and cost us something.
While nowhere near as traumatic as my first experience with braces…it still hurt a lot. There were days when eating beans hurt. And for the 3 days after the surgery…that was pretty awful. And even now, I know there are still months ahead of me before I’m back to full strength. (And if you were at the Vineyard on Sunday and heard me speak…now that was uncomfortable.)

The area that needs transformation, might not always have been our first choice.
If you had asked me, what part of my body I would like transformed it would have more likely been turning the extra pounds around my waist into “6-pack abs.” (vanity of vanities, or something like that). My teeth seemed okay…yeah they weren’t straight, but I’d already been down the braces road, and had no desire to go there again.

The Transformation is better than we imagined.
I went into this process thinking, “I need to go through this horrible experience just so my teeth don’t start falling out. Maybe dentures wouldn’t be all that bad.” However, after the surgery, while there is still some work to do, my teeth are likely to be with me for a long time…they are straight too! I’ll actually be able to smile! (if you have any old pictures of me, chances are my teeth are not showing And did I mention that I can breathe through my nose!?! And I don’t look like Jay Leno anymore!

 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2

No related posts.

Last week while I was in the hospital in Rochester for my surgery, friends of ours from the Vineyard were in Cayuga Med having a baby girl.  Liz asked Brenna if she could make them a card.

It was amazing and she has agreed to let me share it here.

Thanks Brenna!

A baby, a baby!
Your treasure and joy
She will fill up your house with clothes, diapers, and toys
There are things in your house that she’ll probably destroy
There are people who’ll ask “Had you wanted a boy?”
Have they ever had children?
Do they even know the joy a child brings when they say hello?
Or the sadness you feel whenever they go?
No
She will live for the times she can look at your faces
And soon she’ll discover there’s not better places
Than right in the arms of the family she loves
Surrounded by happiness, kisses, and hugs

Related posts:

1. A Post Surgical Update

So as you might have heard, I got my face rearranged last week. Other than Liz & the kids, no one has gotten a glimpse of me prior to today (trust me, that’s a good thing.)

I wanted to write a post to let you know how things are going, and perhaps even show a photo of the “puffier” me.

It may be a bit more info than you want, but I want to give a general overview of the whole procedure, and also let you know where we are at currently.  Plus, I don’t want you to be shocked when you see me over the next week or so, since I’ll still look a bit like I got beat up and then got stung in the face by a swarm of hornets.

I also want to thank you for your prayers–we really appreciate them!

Why did you do this?

About 4 years ago, my dentist first suggested I consider orthognathic surgery. Although I’d had braces as a kid, my teeth were not straight, did not meet in the front and would all begin falling out sooner rather than later. I first looked into the process, but the cost of braces and the surgery were prohibitive, to say the least. About 2 years ago, the issue came up again, and after meeting with a local oral surgeon who actually no longer performs this procedure, we decided to move forward.  So last February (2011) I had my first appointment with an oral/maxillofacial surgeon (actually the chief surgeon) up at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester, and in May of last year I got my braces.

(note on cost, while we have had to pay for the braces in full, our insurance did cover the surgery as medically necessary)

Why not just braces?

While braces can move your teeth around, the problem was that my upper jaw had not grown properly, so even if the teeth were straightened, the top and bottom jaws would not meet, and we would be at the same place we are now. When your teeth don’t align, certain teeth end up bearing much of the burden when chewing which wears down the top of the tooth as well as the root. So even if I wanted to do just braces, the orthodontist told me we could perhaps make a 10-20% improvement on my bite, which he estimated to be not worth the cost of braces.

The day of the surgery:

So last Friday, after about 11 months in braces, I checked into the Strong Surgical unit, got hooked up to an IV, dressed into a hospital gown and started the process of waiting. Our check in was at 11:45 am, and the surgery began around 3:30 pm. During that time I spoke with several nurses, anesthesiologists, attendings, and residents, all wanting to know what I was allergic to (Penicillin & Erythromycin…at least I was when when I was a kid, although surgery seemed to clear up all of my other allergies), what medications I take (none), and when I had last eaten anything (a chocolate chip cookie at the Country Inn & Suites near the hospital the previous night).

The other common thing they wanted to know, other than my date of birth, was “describe in your own words what we are doing today.” The simple answer was “moving my jaws around.” The more detailed answer was that they were rotating my lower jaw to align with the upper jaw. this would involve a severing my mandible on each side, rotating the jaw, and reattaching with screws. The work on my upper jaw was a bit more intensive. They would slice it into two or three sections.  This would allow them to widen the upper jaw so it would fit my lower jaw properly. They would also remove parts of the jawbone in the back so that it had the effect of raising my back upper teeth. And finally, they would move my upper jaw forward by 6 mm.

Afterwards, everything would be put back together with plates and screws. I think I have 18 screws in the upper jaw and 6 in the lower. The new x-ray of my head look pretty cyborgish, though.

Shortly before we headed to the operating room, they gave me something to relax me…although I was already pretty relaxed. They they put a hairnet on me, wheel me down the hall to the operating room, and begin putting monitors on me…and that is the last thing I remember prior to the surgery.

The surgery itself:

Once I was out they did a bit more prep. They stitched my eyelids together (since they are moving your face around, they use the eyes to make their measurements–plus, it protects your corneas).  Since they are working in your mouth, you tend to swallow a lot of blood, so they stick a tube down your nose so you can breathe. Thankfully, I have no memory of that. Before they remove the tube, they use it to drain your stomach so that you are less nauseous when you wake up. They also pump you full of steroids during the surgery to help with the swelling that comes afterwards (although I’m not sure how my face could have swelled any more than it did). Everything went well, and it took between 3 and 3.5 hours for the surgery.

The initial recovery:

I’m told my recovery was a bit extended because I was nauseous when they first woke me up, and the medication they gave me for it knocked me out. Since I was nauseous for the next 3 days, that doesn’t seem too unbelievable. I remember being woken up by a nurse several times for water, or vitals, but the first time I think I was actually aware of what was going on around me was 11:30 that night. Although Liz had seen me that night, I had no recollection of her being in the room. By 3:30 am when they woke me up for x-rays, I was actually feeling pretty good. The thing that seemed funniest at that time is that my whole lower face was numb, and my mouth was banded shut, yet the x-ray tech kept trying to have a conversation and seemed surprised that I couldn’t talk. All of the nurses were much better at reading my sign language (I got pretty good at communicating, “I think I’m going to throw up.”)

Days 2 – 3:

On Saturday Liz brought me home. The girls were a bit freaked out by the size of my face,but I think they enjoyed my inability to talk a bit too much.

During the first couple days there were some difficult things, and one amazingly great thing.

The Bad:

1) I tried to eat, but was so stressed that I mightn’t keep it down, that I ate very little. This meant I lost 10 pounds the first 2 days…supposedly weight loss levels off after 2 weeks. (& by eating, I mean with a syringe)

2) My face and lips were extremely swollen and numb.  I don’t think I’ll post the worst, but here are a couple examples. While having your face numb is a bit strange, it seems a much better alternative than actually feeling the after effects of everything that was done to you.

3) Teeth banded shut. It wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined, but talking was difficult, and even drinking was a bit of a challenge.  And I’m not sure why, but my tongue seems convinced that there is a hair back there…now that I can open my mouth (although only slightly) shine a light in and see that there is no hair, my tongue refuses to believe.

The Good:

I can breathe! Okay, I’ve always been able to breathe, but never through my nose. I mean I could breathe through it a bit, but every so often I’d need a deep breathe through my mouth to feel like I was getting enough air. I was pretty self-conscious about my breathing in public. It also made exercising in the cold difficult (breathe through your nose and the cold air is filtered before it hits your lungs…breathe through your mouth and your lungs are pretty sore for a long time afterwards. 

One of the other benefits is that I won’t hear people tell me I look like Jay Leno any more.

The other issue with my upper jaw not forming properly was that it blocked my nasal passage. Move it to the right spot (and, as the doctor said “scrape out any other crud in your nasal cavity while we are in there”), and breathing is majorly improved. Obviously, I don’t know how eating solid food is going to be yet, but as rough as the procedure was, just being able to breathe has made it worthwhile.

The first follow up:

On Tuesday I had my first follow up with the surgeon (one/week for 6 weeks). My bands were loosened, which was great, but even without them I could not even open my mouth wide enough to get a tooth brush through. Still a lot of healing for my muscles to go through. We got to see my new x-ray, they checked how much feeling has come back in my face, and went through a few other odds & ends–the big one being that I no longer needed take the antibiotic. There is a 1% risk of infection from the surgery, so they give you antibiotics before, during, and after the procedure. Worst tasting medicine ever. The doctor also warned us that the steroids would be working themselves out over the next couple days so that I would likely have a pretty down period of time as they left my system…I think that accounts for how I felt Wednesday.

Where we are now:

• First off the pictures. As you can see the swelling is down a lot, but still there. My face is still pretty swollen and bruised, though not quite so freakish as just 3-4 days ago.

• While I feel much better than I did last weekend, the overall recovery will likely take up to a year or so, I should be back to work next week.
• Everything from my nose to my chin is numb to varying degrees. Almost like I got a huge a shot of Novocain. Most feeling is back in my cheeks. My nose and upper lip is still a bit numb, but feeling is almost fully returned to them.
• My chin is still quite numb but the space between it and my lower lip, as well as my lower lip, have basically no feeling at this point. So I do tend to drool a lot, but I’m getting better at drinking from a cup (even had coffee today!). While I wish the feeling were coming back faster to this area, it can take up to a year. In fact, one of the risks of this surgery is that you never recover the feeling in that space between your lip and chin (thankfully it doesn’t impact speech, or eating/drinking in anyway).
• I have a plastic splint attached to my upper teeth, and several tight rubber bands that allow me to open my mouth less than 1/2 an inch.  So between that and my lower lip not working, speech is still a bit of a challenge.
• I’m also congested. They warn you ahead of time, that for much of the first week it feels like you have a head cold. But even with that, I can still breathe through my nose better than before…although there was a point on Sunday where the words “emergency tracheotomy” popped into my head more than once. On top of that, due to all the work they’ve done, you need to wait 2 weeks before you can blow your nose.
• The unshaven look is simply that the doctor suggested I wait to shave until I can actually feel my face.

I guess that’s about it. If you have any questions about the surgery, or anything else, please use the comment space below and I’ll update you. Thanks again for all of the prayers!

Related posts:

1. a quick update
2. A Special Saturday Post

If you have a low tolerance for hearing about pain, or perhaps happen to be eating lunch, please stop reading.  I’ve learned that some people were grossed out by my discussion of blended meat products a couple of weeks ago. If you thought that crossed a line, from this post you will not be able to look back and see the line.

You’re still reading? You’ve been warned.

A few weeks ago I wrote about focusing this little corner of the interwebs a bit more. As you might guess, my focus lately has been on 1) transitioning out of Ithaca well, 2) getting our family settled in Ireland, and 3) my surgery.

Since the surgery on my upper and lower jaw is scheduled for this Friday, I thought I’d share a little bit of my history with my teeth (we go back along time together.)

This is actually my second round of braces.  When I was around twelve my parents took me to an orthodontist in Fredonia, NY who shall remain nameless. (But if you write, and guess at his name, I will tell you if you are right.) While he performed a number of various torture methods on me, and took my parent’s money, in the end, he was upset that my doctor would not let him remove my tonsils and adenoids, so he removed my braces, stuck me in a retainer and with in 6 months, my teeth we back to their original state.  Rather than try and describe my orthodontist, I thought I’d share a video that every time I see it reminds me of him.

Now, I have a pretty high pain tolerance. When I was a kid, I read somewhere that Novocain improperly injected could go to your brain and paralyze you, so for the next several years I had all of my cavities filled sans Novocain. Around the age of 16 I got over that, however since then I think I’ve had only one small cavity. (And not only am I a 4 wisdom tooth guy, I went to work the next day.) So I don’t think I’m a wimp when it comes to oral pain.

The major purpose of the surgery I’m getting on Friday is to widen my upper jaw so that I can bite properly, breath properly, and prevent my teeth from falling out. That was also an issue when I was a kid (see, I don’t have a big mouth…all of my doctors agree). Now the way they attempted to address the issue when I was younger was by installing a Palatal Expander to my upper teeth. Each night my parents would need to take a small piece of metal, insert it in the center of the Palatal Expander, and turn. Some nights you could even hear the roof of my mouth crack (good times). I have no idea how they never lost that thing, or worse, dropped it down my throat.

While that was in the roof of my mouth, my orthodontist decided the reason for my small upper jaw was that my tongue didn’t work properly, so he inserted a

tongue spur in the bottom of my mouth. As you can see from the picture, it was designed to prick your tongue whenever it got near your bottom teeth.

(Believe it or not, the only time I cried throughout the whole process was when they put in the spacers for the Palatal Expander. My mom picked me that day and the other person in the car that day was the girl I’d eventually take to the senior prom…I think she only went with me because she still felt sorry for me all those years later…My mom also felt sorry for me and the next morning while driving me to school, she gave me a Rolo, which I proceeded to choke on.  She actually, pulled over the car, got me out of my seat and gave me the Heimlich…thanks mom.  For saving my life…not for the Rolo.)

This morning I had surgical hooks placed on my braces in preparation for Friday’s surgery.  And although they are slightly annoying and make it a bit of a challenge to speak, they are not as bad as I was anticipating.

I guess I do owe my old orthodontist a thank you for making the first round of orthodontia so horrible, that having my jaw dissected and replaced seems easy compared to a visit to your office.  (Did I mention that he filed down two of my teeth with no pain killer because he thought they were too pointy.) I’m still getting over that I guess…it’d be easier if he gave my parents their money back.

No related posts.

We goofed, and I understand why some of you are frustrated. Sadly it wasn’t our first time messing up, and despite the fact that I only have 2 months left here at the Vineyard, it most likely won’t be my last.

As we have done for years, we are holding a Good Friday Service this Friday. (6pm in case you were wondering). Our first big goof was that we should have started announcing this a few weeks ago…we didn’t. We compounded our error when we failed to announce it during the first service this past Sunday.

It was during the closing moments of the service, as James was dismissing everyone when several of us had that “Uh-oh,” moment and realized our omission. We made sure we announced it in the second service and decided to send out an email announcement on Monday.

I hope nobody thinks we put work and effort into putting on something like a Good Friday service and then figure out how best to ensure that as few people as possible attend. Or, that we just don’t like the people in the first service, and this was our plan to keep them away…although there is that group in the 4th row

While I don’t want to make excuses I do feel that I need to explain a few things because the likelihood is that thing like this may increase, rather than decrease over the next 6 months or so…

Back in January, we talked about how life feels in the midst of transition. We discussed that although we all handle it differently, one of the common themes in transition is chaos. I was talking with one of our leaders recently and we discussed that no matter how much you are aware of what goes on in transition, it is another thing altogether to actually have to live through and experience it. (Although I’m guessing we’d all agree ‘living through’ is the best option!)

For my family, not only are we preparing to move to another country, we are working diligently to ensure that the Ithaca Vineyard is in a good place going into the next phase of this transition. Additionally, I am preparing to go through a pretty intense jaw surgery on the 13th of this month (I thought everyone in the church knew, but learned this week that they did not.) I will be out of commission for a week…on a liquid diet for 5 weeks afterwards, and soft foods for a while after that. As you might guess, that adds another level of stress to life at the Wilson’s.

To top it off, not only were Elizabeth and I both sick last week, two of our kids were quarantined since it was suspected they had whooping cough (thank fully they didn’t!).

I could go into other stuff, but you get the idea. The fact is that there is currently a lot in our lives that is falling through the cracks right now. By extension, that means much of what we do is now falling on the other leaders and office staff, and with them having to pick up much of our slack, their plates are also becoming a bit too full as well.

Add to that, while I think the transition plan we have in place for the church going forward (which we’ll share on the 22nd of April) is solid, this will be a learning experience for all of your leaders, and none of them will do everything perfectly, with zero missteps.

Back when we first announced this upcoming transition, and again when we talked about it in January, I mentioned that part of the process will be that we will have times where we drive each other a bit crazy…just another byproduct of the stress of transition…and simply asked that we do what should come naturally to followers of Jesus…have a lot of grace for one another.

Without question, we should have done a better job making people aware of the Good Friday service….all we can do is ask for forgiveness and grace. (I’ve likely done, or not done other things that you expected of me in the past several weeks…again, all I can do is ask for forgiveness and grace.)

Going forward, the team of people leading the Vineyard through the upcoming transition, will need your prayer, your encouragement, and your grace. Times like these are ones that can cause division and all types problems that can rip a church apart. These are also times that can draw a church together in incredible ways as we lean on the Father, and allow His grace to flow from each of us toward one another.

No related posts.

Last summer while Liz and I were over in Dublin, the 2011 census had just been completed several weeks prior. Today the first set of data has been released, and thought I’d list a few things that seemed worth noting:

The population of Ireland has increased by 348,404 people to 4,588,252. (The largest the population has been in a century and a half!)

The census found that over 50% of the inhabitants of Ireland, live within the province of Leinster (the province Dublin is in).

Divorce has increased by 150% since the last census in 2006.

The number of people who list themselves as non-religious jumped 45% to almost 270,000 (up from 186,300). The increases is largest in the Dublin area.

While the number of people who claimed to be Roman Catholic grew by 4.9%, as a percentage of the overall population, they fell from 86% to 84%.

Of those between the age of 25-29, 13% claim no religion.

Those were some of the things that jumped out at us & seemed worth some prayer.  Love to hear what if any of the info caught your attention.

A couple links if you’d care to learn more:
The Journal
Irish Times
The full report (.pdf) can be found here (religion info starts on page 42)

Related posts:

1. Dublin Church Plant Stuff

Over the past couple weeks I’ve tried a few times to sit down and write a bit…I’ve even woken up a few mornings with some great ideas, but by the time I start typing them out, they are either petty, emotive or just stupid.  So rather than subject you to that, I’ve just not written. Over the past week we’ve had a bunch of really awesome things happen and I wanted to let you in on it. [next week has a pretty awesome milestone, as the person pictured to the left turns 1!]

First off, as many of you know, I’m having jaw surgery before we head over.  About a month ago I learned that it would be in mid May, which was inconvenient to say the least. I would have had both of my jaws operated on and then 10 days later give my final message at the Ithaca Vineyard…that didn’t sound like an ideal situation. Then last Friday I was driving around thinking that “so many things are going so well…if only the surgery was earlier.” Within the hour I received a call from the surgeon’s office saying they could move me up to to April 13. If it had been a week earlier, which would have meant I’d have missed Easter, I would have had to say no, but this was perfect.

So Tuesday we went in and had 2 hours worth of x-rays, molds of my teeth, pictures of my smile, measurements, etc. The only bad part was that it looks like rather than just surgery on my upper haw, I’ll be getting surgery on both upper & lower. That doesn’t change the recovery (which starts out with a 5-week liquid diet), but does double the length of the procedure (90 minutes to 3 hours). However, assuming all goes well, I’ll be home the next day, and back to work within a week. (Here are some tweets on the topic if you are interested.)

This morning, we had another very cool thing happened, which will have. an even bigger impact on our family. We have had a lot of trouble getting Erin & Brenna enrolled in school.  The school system is very different and you don’t just move into an area and become part of that school district.  There was a school we really wanted to get the kids into, but be learned that the application deadline for Fall 2012, was June 2011…and for Brenna’s year there were 400 applications for 140 spots. So we called, wrote, emailed…until eventually they wrote to ask us to please stop as they will not have a spot for either of our kids. In the meantime we enrolled Brenna in a school about 20 minutes or so from where we’d be living, but still hadn’t found a place for Erin. Well, this morning, totally out of the blue, Liz received an email saying they had spots for both of the girls! This is the school they had both wanted to go to from the start, will be much closer to where we’ll be living and planting the church, and over all is a great school. [The fact that Christopher Nolan (the author, not the director) is a graduate is probably cool to some of you, while the fact that a certain Irish rock band meet there is very cool for my kids.]

These have both been two major concerns for us, and many of you have been praying…thank you!

This afternoon we are heading to Albany (Liz & I lived there for 4-5 years before moving to Ithaca). We’ll be able to catch up with some friends tonight and tomorrow.  Saturday night, the Albany Vineyard is putting on a benefit for us at the Irish Mist (7:00 pm). And on Sunday we’ll be at the Albany Vineyard…Liz will be playing with the worship team, and I’ll be speaking about Ireland! If you are in the area, we’d love to see you.

One last little update/prayer request. As you know, we are still in the middle of raising support.  Currently we are right around 1/3 of the way to our goal of $9000/month.  Thanks to all who have committed to joining us on this journey! Please pray that we reach $6,000/month by the end of May.

Related posts:

1. A Post Surgical Update

Support raising is hard. Although there are weeks such as this one, when it seems that every conversation, email, phone or otherwise is encouraging, and at the same time, makes me thankful for the amazing people the Father has brought into Elizabeth’s & my lives!

As you might guess, one of the most humbling things about support raising is having to admit over and over again, “I can’t do this on my own. I really need your help.” While Elizabeth and I believe with everything we’ve got that planting a church in Ireland is what we are being called to, we also believe that this is not something we are being called to do by ourselves. We are called to do this with a community of people. With a community of friends who are praying for us, for this church, and for the people of Dublin. With a community of people who are committed to supporting us financially while we move over there.

This concept doesn’t fit too well with the whole Rugged-American-Individualism, I grew up with…but it does seems to fit pretty well with the inter-dependency we see modeled in the New Testament church. Not that that makes it any less humbling to contact a friend and say, “I need your help to do what God is calling me to do.”

Speaking of humbling…One of the first families who got on board with supporting us financially as we talked about Ireland were Ann & Patrick Taylor. And not only are they doing that, Patrick has asked me to share the following letter with as many people as possible.

Hello –

My name is Patrick Taylor. I lived in Ithaca for only one year, but it made a huge difference in my life.

I’m not referring to the “shop local” attitude, the fabulous Farmer’s Market, or the “gorgeous” surroundings. While I do eat healthier, and take more hikes, it’s the time I spent at the Ithaca Vineyard that made the biggest difference in my life.

Ithaca is a place of transition; people come and go. We came to town because my wife had accepted a short term research position at Cornell. We quickly found the Ithaca Vineyard, which was meeting at the local movie theater.

It was awesome!

At the Vineyard, I learned how to pray. I learned how to heal, and to be healed. I learned to love the body of Christ, and to have compassion for the lost.

That’s what Bob and Liz want to take to Dublin. Prayer. Healing. Love. And that’s why our family is financially supporting the Wilsons.

If you attended the Ithaca Vineyard, I would ask you to think back to the time you spent there. Think about the creative Sunday messages, the small groups, the authentic love of Christ. And then think about supporting Bob and Liz.

In Him,

Patrick Taylor

To be honest, I’ve sat on that letter a bit. (Figuratively, of course, I didn’t actually sit on it…) Not because I didn’t appreciate it…(In fact, it’d be hard to explain how getting a letter like this impacts me.)  But I sat on it because it’s humbling to need others in the Body of Christ the way our family does now, as we are in the midst of one of the biggest transitions in our lives. It’s humbling to have people say to others on your behalf…”please help them.” However, just as we are needing people to come along side through monthly financial giving, and prayer, I needed a friend to come along side and say, not only are we joining with…but this is why with think investing in you, your family and what you are going to do in Ireland is worth it. Thanks Patrick!

To those of you who have already begun supporting us, or have said, “we will, just need to figure out an amount,” thank you. To those of you whom we haven’t gotten in touch with yet, but would like to be part of what we are doing, please drop us a note & we’ll get back in touch with you. (for many of you, we’d love to get in touch…we just need help finding your contact info:-)

If you’d like some more info on what we’re planning as we head to Dublin, please head over to our website, dublinchurchplant.com and look around a bit.

Thanks for reading…hope to hear from you!

No related posts.

It’s been one of those weeks. Yesterday I was riding the bus into work and using the wordpress app on my iPhone to type a blog post about the vision of this church moving to Ireland to plant. Yesterday afternoon I went to publish it & well, it was gone. So I tried yesterday afternoon to rewrite it, but there sat my taxes reminding me that if they didn’t get done soon, they were going to continue adding stress to my life. I sat down to work on putting everything together to send to the accountant, and they added even more stress. (One of my professors actually talked to me about becoming an accountant…yikes)

While the bus riding home today I sat trying to retype what I had written yesterday (this time with my laptop on my lap on the bus…not the most comfortable way to type. No go. Tonight I got home, finished putting all of our tax stuff together (deep exhale) and sat down to work on a vision post again. Now, what I wrote yesterday was no masterpiece (I mean I typed it with my thumbs on a phone)…but clearly my brain needs to “de-tax” and get a good night sleep.

No related posts.

This weekend I watched a TED talk by author Susan Cain. It was the title of her talk, The Power of Introverts, that caught my attention. Growing up I was the kid who loved being by myself. Let me pick between a crowd of people, and a good book or some baseball cards by myself, I was picking solitude every time. Of course, that ends up getting you branded as shy, quiet, stand-offish, aloof…or just a little strange.

As an adult, learning more about Myers-Briggs (I’m an INTJ), and tools like it, have made life a lot easier. I don’t need to work at becoming an extrovert. It wouldn’t work anyways. I could still work at being a bit less socially awkward, but I will never be the life of the party, and I’m good with that.

But even as an adult, you still find an extrovert bias. Early on in my Vineyard days I kept hearing that if you walk into a room and look at who has the crowd of people around them, you’ll find the leader. And while that might be true, you more likely found the most extroverted person in the room. Even better, I was researching online a few years ago, and on a site of a well known Christian author, and the point was made that you should not overlook introverts when looking for people to serve in your church, because there is a lot they can do…(this seemed promising)…for example, they can fold the bulletins. Ugh.

So with a title like, The Power of Introverts, I was interested in hearing what Cain had to say. And while the talk was quite good, and I’m planning on giving her book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” a read soon, what really stuck out to me, was a shift she describes in the history of our country. Cain states that in the early days of our country, there was a “culture of character.” We valued people for their inner selves and moral rectitude. She make the point that the self-help books at the time had titles like, “Character, the Grandest Thing in the World,” and celebrated people like Abraham LIncoln.

According to Cain, a shift happened at the start of the 20th century as we shifted from an agricultural economy to a “big business” economy, and from a “culture of character,” to a “Culture of Personality.” As people moved from their farms, and villages to the big cities, you were know longer able to stand out based on who you were as a person. It was now far less likely that you were able to be known by the person you were working along side of, so you know needed to be able to stand out in a crowd of people. And so suddenly, magnetism & charisma, became crucial. Even the self-help books began to change, with titles like “How to Win Friends, and Influence People,” moving to the forefront. And the new heroes of this genre were salesmen.

Let me state as clearly as I can…Character and Charisma are not exclusive. A person can be very charismatic, and have incredible character. I could list names of well know leaders who have both, but I’m sure you have a list that you can think of as well. At the same time, I don’t think we need to even mention people with no character & no charisma. The truth is, we all have some level of character, and some level of charisma. The issue is how “what is important,” has shifted from character to personality. And while everyone would say, “of course character is more important,” often people rise very high, based in large part on their charismatic personality (to stay focused on Cain’s point, let’s assume an equal amount of ability to do the job, as well as other key factors).

What Cain’s discussion got me thinking about was the “culture of personality” within the larger evangelical church. (It may be in other parts of the church as well, but I just want to mention the group that I’m part of, since it’s the one I know best.) I mentioned “rock star” pastors in a post last week, and I think that is simply one of the symptoms of our culture of personality. I’d love to think that the church was not as susceptible to the celebrity culture that the rest of our country is…but it is.

Although I was in and out of the church as a teenager, it was during my college years that I really reconnected with Jesus, and began to pay a bit more attention to the larger evangelical church that I was now part of. And it was during my senior year when the whole scandal with Jimmy Swaggart broke. Since I was attending an Assembly of God campus fellowship and church at that point, it had a huge impact on some of my friends, I remember one of my friends sobbing because she loved Swaggart.

I would be great to write that since then, things have been quiet on the big name pastor/Christian leader scandal front…but, they haven’t. And many of the stories have been national news. In my own denomination, the Vineyard, we’ve also had high level leaders who just aren’t around anymore because of moral/character issues. You not only hurt for them, and for their families, but for the churches and organizations they led. It hurts for the body of Christ. It is simply awful on so many levels.

One of the saddest statements on the state of the church, is when you reading an article about a Christian leader who is stepping down from their role (at a church, seminary, organization) and the author feels compelled to include, “that this decision was not because of any moral failings.” Sadly, we’ve come to the point where that is our initial assumption, and we have to cite this person almost as the exception.

Of course in those times when we are told that the reason they are stepping down has nothing to do with moral/character issue and we learn later it did…that breaks down trust even more, and casts doubt on all of us who are leaders.

Another thing Cain (who is Jewish) talked about, was how most all major religions place an extreme value on solitude. The importance of leaving the crowds (even if…actually, especially if the crowds are adoring) to go to the wilderness. To listen in the midst of silence.

If someone has an incredible personality and God is using it to further His Kingdom…awesome. But when the personality becomes a substitute for actually spending time alone with the Father…it probably shouldn’t surprise us when the foundation crumbles and the whole thing comes tumbling down.

One of the things I’m thankful for is that over the past few years I’ve crossed paths with a number of leaders who’ve placed a high value on silence & solitude…also that I’m part of a local community that has in many ways embraced these practices.

Again, this stuff wasn’t the main thrust of Cain’s talk, but this is what is stirred up in me and I wanted to write it down, and hopefully you’ve found it worth thinking about. If you get a chance to watch it, I’d love to hear if it brings up anything for you.

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