Bohemian Twilight

somebody i used to know

2012-03-05T09:10:00.000+01:00

So you've heard this song by now right? Seen the subtly compelling video?

What about this very groovy cover version?

And Goyte's new video?
Took 9 months to make.

•

read: for female empowerment, take a look at Lucy's new Moon Time book
taste: simple but delish curried chicken
see: my new personal blog, if you missed saturday's post
smell: virtual herbs from one and two of my favourite herby bloggers
touch: created an art caddy for Miss 3, organisation is a happy place

senses shared

a new home

2012-03-04T01:35:00.000+01:00

I never post on the weekend, but I wanted to slip this one in now....

Bohemian Twilight began as a lifestyle, culture, and my artwork blog. I interjected personal snippets. It worked well.

Slowly it's begun to mirror my move to more simplicity and personal moments. And I've lost the culture bang that was a wonderful escape and outlet for me. I miss my excerpt posts for starters, sharing beautiful interiors and boho whatevers. I just can't squish it all in to one place.

So stay here if you prefer culture, film, art, book reviews, fascinating issues/ideas, design, a little music, recipes, inspiration, and some fun stuff.

Or join me at ink + chai for me and my moments.... and a little tea.
You'll see duplicate posts while I arrange where recent ones ought to live.

I need a soft, simple, place to fall into. A vibe of intimacy.
You're welcome to bring a cup/mug and join me.

refuse to choose

2012-02-29T09:17:00.002+01:00

That pressure to choose a career, a path, one skill or talent to hone, especially pushed by the school system, brought me a lot of anxiety for more years than I care to think about.

But embracing our innate personality, and then learning how to work with it relieves us of pressure.

"What you’ve assumed is a disability to be overcome by sheer will is actually an exceptional gift. You are the owner of a remarkable, multi-talented brain trying to do its work in a world that doesn’t understand who you are and doesn’t know why you behave as you do."

Do you have thoughts like these...?

“I can never stick to anything.”
“I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?”
“I lose interest in things I thought would interest me forever.”
“I keep going off on another tangent.”
“I get bored as soon as I know how to do something.”
“I can’t stand to do anything twice.”
“I keep changing my mind about what I want to do and end up doing nothing.”

Then you and I share a style of approaching the world and all it has to offer.

We're Scanners.

(Although when I learnt to accept my zest for variety I called myself a Renaissance girl.)

"Scanners are endlessly inquisitive. ... often describe themselves as being hopelessly interested in everything .... doesn’t want to specialize in any of the things she loves, because that means giving up all the rest."

Although I have been cultivating a little more focus in my life, the list of what I am 'hopelessly interested in' is probably long enough to wrap around the world at least twice.

And it's all okay, it's who I am. If you're anxious that you don't have a single focus, you can Refuse to Choose as well.

space and possibilities

2012-02-22T10:31:00.000+01:00

I've been simplifying and simplifying for some time now. If you know me, you know that I was serious when I began simplifying my books.

And there's nothing like moving house or packing suitcases to make a simplifier get even seriouser. (Dr Seuss says it's a word!)

I'm no spartan. I enjoy beauty. I embrace cosiness. But I just want less and less. What I do keep I want it to make me happy or pampered, be of use, or for it to hold treasured memories.

Moving country 4 years ago was the perfect opportunity to pare right down. Packing and having a crazy abode issue this year (more on that later) means that stuff, whilst often making us comfortable and creating smiles, can also make our literal and life journeys more cumbersome.

Sure it's about clearing away unhelpful clutter, feeling lighter and clearer,

but also, it's about creating space...

... for possibilities we may never have considered.

•

read: i didn't know about peta's tactics
taste: almost zero sugar
see: utterly horrid word verification - info here and here, and a removal tutorial
hear: touchscreen, c/o MJ
smell: oregano
touch: one (smartphone) tap and i can see what time it is in melbourne and LA. feel my friends even closer...
think: so appreciate posts in the author's own language as well as english. would love to connect with more fellow europeans
feel: a desire for busyness

senses shared

settle

2012-02-09T14:36:00.000+01:00

2nd-hand loot
left a few back in uk

We arrived to snow-capped mountains, sunny skies, and an ice-box of a house. A few logs in the wood burner and we are cosy and settling in.

After a 4am waking, 3hr drive, 11am flight, border crossing, re-starting the car.... we actually had no idea if we were going to make it to the house. You see we get snowed in for a few days if it's heavy enough and it had recently snowed. But it was all melted by the time we arrived.

After 7 weeks of 2 extra people in the house, regular visitors, the TV Always. On. and suburban living, it's bliss to be just the three of us, with just me and the girl-child during the day, in a village of 5 residents, surrounded by woods. And the silent snow-fall today is like, well... yes, icing on the cake.

The fridge and pantry are full, the logs are stacked inside.... we're prepared to enjoy it.

•

read: i'll be picking up possession again (couldn't concentrate at in-laws)
taste: fennel tea
see: snow
hear: quietness
smell: ash and smoke
touch: gave the fridge a look-it's-like-new clean while it was empty
think: of simple things
feel: good to be in my nest

senses shared

Poe illustrated

2012-02-03T18:20:00.000+01:00

I wanted to share with you one of my favourite books that I own. In my quest to simplify my bookshelves, and only own books I love, will revisit, are sentimental, or that I wish to pass on to my girl.... beautiful editions are keepers.

I've been a Poe fan since my teenage years and was thrilled to get my little bookwhoring hands on an edition of his collection Tales of Mystery and Imagination that included illustrations.

(buy Amazon USA)

(buy Amazon UK)

It's bound in black cloth so is a delight to hold. Illustrated by Harry Clarke, it includes colour-plate work as well as exquisite pen and ink drawings.

It's not easy capturing Poe's distinct feel - macabre and mysterious, tortured and twisted. I think that Clarke did a fine job of honouring Poe's aesthetic. I especially love that they appear contemporary to Poe.

The best part other than the fab 29 tales and illustrations? It isn't expensive. I would love to own similar editions of other authors. There's nothing like books gorgeously put together..... that you can afford!

Hope your weekend includes something cosy.

•

hear: You're The One That I Want by Angus & Julia Stone on Grooveshark
taste: creamy brie + crusty baguette
see: marie antoinette, an odd, jarring, modernist aesthetic. not for me
smell: cardamon
touch: hard frost
think: trying to form a some sort of living/house plan for the year
feel: riding low waves

senses shared

oakham + apples

2012-02-01T10:40:00.001+01:00

The sunny days seem behind us, as the skies darken and the temps get closer to zero. Didn't stop us strolling, in Oakham yesterday... with frequent stops for thrifting, browsing and warming up.

A simple little tea pot found me. A small joy.

I drank in the green undulating countryside on the drive back.

I'd enjoy a snippet of your world...
What does a kilo (2 pounds) of, run-of-the-mill least expensive, loose sweet red apples cost where you live?
£1.66 (US$2.61) per kg over here, in the Midlands, England.

•

hear: You Aint Alone by Alabama Shakes on Grooveshark
read: collected short stories volume 1, Maugham
taste: mulligatawny chicken soup
see: Nicholas and Alexandra
smell: libraries
touch: suitcases at over-capacity... oops
think: of the power of connections
feel: nostalgic

senses shared

expectation

2012-01-30T10:06:00.000+01:00

{mine}

In a think senses last week I pondered...
"what disappointment really means"

Responses...

when one gave the object of the disappointment qualities and values it never had

Demie

learning to not expect someone to be or act as i wish or hope for them to be...
i am not expecting anything from them only receiving what they are willing to give...

Brandi

disappointment happens when one is overly attached to an unrealistic outcome

Eryl

Is it ever beneficial to have reasonable expectations? Such as that a friend won't betray you, or that a spouse won't cheat on you, or that a loved one would be helpful or supportive.

I was thinking that a particular experience of disappointment that was worth examining for ourselves was that of the pattern, the repeated disappointments. Whether of the same person or of similar outcomes across many people or situations.

It seems that in such circumstances we have fallen into a way of self-hurting. Applying unreasonable hopes, attaching characteristics that the other person/people never had, seeking perfection.... over and over despite evidence to the contrary.

So perhaps a reasonable expectation only remains so once.

those constantly without desires or expectations will perceive subtlety.
those constantly with desires or expectations will see only boundaries.

tao te ching, chp1

•

read: catching up on enviroblog
taste: davidstow extra mature cheddar cheese
see: i thought my crafty friends would like this place
hear: the lion's roar, first aid kit. c/o Amanda
smell: damp
touch: the first suitcase packing phase
think: sometimes the compromise is something external to both of you
feel: torn

senses shared

Spanish tortilla

2012-01-27T10:16:00.000+01:00

Tortilla* was a regular at our house when I was growing up. I remember my mother making each individual one and we each had to wait in turn. Although sometimes we shared if we were really hungry.

It's such a simple dish, although it takes a while to get the potatoes cooked through. I realised that it's actually a great frugal and whats-left-in-the-fridge type of meal.

All you need are potatoes, eggs, onions, salt, olive oil. That's the classic version.

I add oregano, black pepper, and a dash of milk to the eggs. But you could also add all types of left-overs, such as thinly sliced peppers, sweetcorn, garlic, shredded meat such as left-over roast chicken, ham, or salami. It's really as versatile as an omelette, although I suppose it's no longer authentic Spanish tortilla, but who cares right?

Lightly and slowly fry/sauté about 2cm cubes of potato in olive oil, then add onions and continue to fry until onions are soft and potatoes are cooked.
Season.
Beat eggs, add a small dash of milk, throw the eggs into the frying pan (skillet, American buddies?).
Cook on low heat until almost set.

If you're making it thick, you can transfer the pan under the grill (broiler) to finish off the top.

Or do it how my family does,
Slide the tortilla onto a plate (larger than the pan!) that you're holding in your hand
Flip the pan over and place it over the plate
Holding a spread hand under the plate and a firm grip on the pan, flip everything over again so that now the pan is right side up and the plate is in the pan
Remove the plate.

Don't try this unless the tortilla is well cooked on the bottom and there's not much runnyness left otherwise you'll end up with a right mess.

These days, potatoes aren't friendly to my digestion, so it's not a meal I see too often any more. But oh, soft earthy potatoes and fried veg in eggs is delish! Oh, and many Spaniards will eat it cold too, as a tapa. Cold tortilla always reminds me of our time in Granada.

* pronounced tortiya if you're from northern Spain or tortisha from the south and from S. America. I do the latter.

Have a tasty weekend friends

and watch out for tempers.

•

read: off to toddler time at the library this morning
taste: off to a dinner party tonight
see: how well can you detect colour?
hear: silence. the first time the sweet girl out without me in 5 weeks
smell: tea tree oil
think: what disappointment really means
feel: bubble contentment

senses shared

sensitive

2012-01-26T12:16:00.000+01:00

{mine}

The highly sensitive souls amongst us.

We sense what's beyond the borders and what's underneath the face of daily life.
We feel everything, acutely, deeply, expansively.
We live in a world that is rich, nuanced, and limitless.
We are gifted with deep empathy, intuition, and insight that can turn to wisdom.

We learn skills to ease becoming overwhelmed, depressed, over stimulated, and generally swallowed up by this strange, complex, and busy world. But we also understand the exquisite beauty in pain.

The non-highly-sensitives frown, become irritated or frustrated with us, or simply shrug their shoulders in disapproving dismissal. A few loved ones try, but only skim the surface.

It can be both a deeply connected way to be, and a lonely road.

I wouldn't be any other way.

•

hear: Tick Tick Boom by The Hives on Grooveshark
read: an end to a Poe grave tradition
taste: fennel, lavender, licorice tea
see: light, colour, shadow paintings by Rashad Alakbarov
smell: roasting coffee
touch: thermal gloves... ooh it's chilly
think: beauty is in the cracks
feel: undecided

senses shared

nothing left to lose

2012-01-24T12:16:00.000+01:00

It seems I don't do too well when my freedom is threatened. Nothing new there, but I'm talking about in really trivial ways.

Janis' Pub, Budapest, 2011

Is it the childhood influence of an overbearing mother? Is it my innate character?

Either way, freedom to me means having choice, choosing the path, often even actually chopping down the overgrowth and creating the path myself. As my life has become significantly more quiet and intimate - being a mama at home - it seems just choosing what I'm having for dinner, and not having it chosen for me, helps me feel free.

And horizons. Horizons make me feel limitless.

I'm negotiating taking my freedom and giving it up sometimes for the sake of someone else's little quirks. It's a fun dance I tell you!

•

read: found great house 2nd-hand
hear: llamando cuatro, arrebato ensemble c/o The Herbit
taste: mexican chipotle chicken bean soup
see: uk property shows... how many!?
think: rain is there to provide a soft focus to the blues
feel: longing

senses shared

a box

2012-01-23T10:25:00.000+01:00

the maiden use of the breathe mug

just felt like the right moment

What do you do to shake yourself out of a tight-fisted need to stand your ground?

So many people don't even see it, but what if you do? What if you see yourself digging your heels in? Can you turn 180^o? Can you admit a mistake? Can you change?

And if so, what does it take?

The unwillingness imprisons us into an incredibly tight and dark box in which to live. It's a safety blanket of course.

But, our shadow comes into the box with us.

The healthy form is determination, strength, resilience, endurance, and belief in the worth of one's own mind and heart.

Obstinacy, on the other hand, cuts us off from true joy and from limitless bonds with others.

Right now I'm working on sustaining that connection through someone else's prison. It's a challenge.

•

read: children's library books
taste: pecan danish
see: Episodes... just okay
smell: a jar of fresh-dried peppermint
touch: hands around that gorgeous mug care of MJ
think: some of us just need more privacy than others
feel: enthusiastic

senses shared

pieces

2012-01-20T10:49:00.000+01:00

It's so uncomfortable to feel scattered. It seems to me a direct threat to some very primal sense of safety.

But it's in the scattered experience that new possibilities are promised. In the tumbled and broken down we're offered another chance. And it's from pieces that wholeness is built.

These thoughts are anchors.

•

Have an inspiring weekend friends.

hear: Planet Earth (single version) by Duran Duran on Grooveshark
read: letter writing truly dying when there are books on it!
taste: baileys
see: an easy intro to the current internet issue
smell: roasting peppers
think: am mystified and slightly frightened that there are people who require home organising binders
feel: rushed

senses shared

dreams

2012-01-17T17:50:00.000+01:00

{mine}

Not everyone is a dreamer, but most of us have dreams, or at least hopes. I guess we like to not only think that a future will come, but that it's possible to shape it, or influence it into something we will love.
And isn't the hoping itself like making a little happiness right now?

"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."

Edgar Allan Poe

Someone recently said to me, but it could all go wrong, so we shouldn't dream.

I couldn't imagine it, and I didn't even want to try.

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."

Anaïs Nin

Where do your dreams go?

•

hear: Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye on Grooveshark

read: Guggenheim's 65 modern art books now online, free
taste: chorizo con vino
see: photovisi
think: i would turn the time machine clock to 1984 and dance to Duran Duran again
feel: floaty

senses shared

thinking of you

2012-01-16T22:51:00.000+01:00

Believe me, I miss you guys, I miss coming here to write, to share, to connect. Things are generally very good here. Enjoying time with family, visiting friends and relatives, shopping - mostly charity shops (thrift stores) - eating foods we've missed, and so on.

Yet, I have a little challenge in the form of tiredness, which very easily and often slips into extreme tiredness, and also too easily into exhaustion. Being here with so much obliged to do and so much wanting to do, well, I'm done in by midday every day.

When I receive two thoughtful emails on the same day with the title, 'thinking of you', it's enough of a nudge to pop in here and chat a bit.

Stamford park
{source}

We've had an amazing week of lush blue cloudless Winter skies, and we're making the most of them by getting out into the crisp air.

Today we visited Stamford. A beautiful small conservation town less than an hour away. Ate scampi and thick chips. Strolled and enjoyed the charm of rickety Tudor buildings. Then visited a proper English tea-shop for tea and carrot cake. Scrumptious would be the appropriate term.

Stamford centre

It's without a doubt that I want to come back to live in England. Although I am looking forward to returning to Montenegro, but simply to fall into our lovely home rhythm, be back amongst my books and art, and space to write, even if just little crumbs of space.

But here is Home.

•

read: Possession, A.S.Byatt
taste: express masala chai from tesco, a favourite!
see: poking at houses for sale (we like doing it for fun)
hear: my birthday #1s, Band of Gold, Crackling Rose, In the Summertime
touch: a (surprise) gorgeous soft purple shawl knitted for me by an Aussie friend
think: that everything is perspective
feel: optimistic

senses shared

into a small jar

2012-01-12T00:29:00.000+01:00

Univers du rouge, Cara Déry

The art, the quote. They woke a hurt me.

...her world has been so constrained, with so few objects of beauty in it. She is not a bulldog, only a woman pressed into the shape of a small jar, possibly attempting to dance there. It shows in the way she places a seashell on a window sill, a red-painted chair in the corner: she is practiced in the art of creating a still life and taking up residence inside it.

The Lacuna, Barbara Kingslover

•

hear: I'd Rather Go Blind by Black Dub on Grooveshark
read: i'm a life-long deviator. you?
taste: home-baked coconut cookies
see: Hero, by Miguel Endara, admire this level of patience
think: of the free-fall when there is neither harmony nor space
feel: ill from exhaustion but unable to sleep

senses shared

click

Mercado de la Merced, Mexico

2012-01-09T11:39:00.000+01:00

In the Mexican Summer of 2001 we bustled and hustled our way through sensory overload. Noise and noise and scents intermingling like sweaty lovers. The claustrophobic chaos of the market is for the courageous, the crazy, or locals only. We fall into the middle category.

But the treats are the pay off. Hold on to your wallet/purse/bag, better yet, carry cash in your front pocket, and swim with the tide of crowds. Fortunately, everything to make a salsa is neighboured together in the Northern section.

You're bound to get hungry with all this mad shopping, and nothing satisfies peckishness like insects. Chocolate-covered grasshoppers, or the same chapurines covered with chilli, salt and lime. No?

Well, I admit, I was Vegan at the time. My nose scrinched but this was tame fare to what we would witness later in Thailand.

Hope your week includes something unusual (but nice!).

•

read: The 4th volume of Anais Nin's dairy
taste: lime-tinged Thai chicken soup
see: Miss 3 in Snow White costume and using a toy power drill
hear: way too much noise
touch: i don't wear a watch
think: how good it feels to have let go trying to convince anyone of anything
feel: a confused sense of foreboding

senses shared

Reads of 2011

2012-01-06T11:28:00.000+01:00

Goodreads tells me that I read 45 books last year (fiction). It pleased my aesthetic sense to see them all lined up on their page looking purty. So here, in random order, are my top 18 reads of 2011.

Favourite five

A quick scan shows me that I managed at least 5 from the 1001 to read list. You know, I've discovered a couple of goodies from the more modern novels but otherwise remain underwhelmed by that part of the list.

In my first few weeks in UK I've already tracked down (2nd-hand) 2 Phillipa Gregorys, a Murakami, Never Let Me Go, and Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

So how did your reading year go?

I'd love to hear about your favourites.

•

read: Nichole's take on resolutions
see: best typefaces of 2011
taste: New York baked cheesecake
touch: thermal socks
think: lots of requests! please email me if you want to know your Moon theme. Send me your birth date, time, place (and tell me if you've moved far from birth place).
feel: anticipation (it's the family's Xmas tomorrow (orthodox) and with a child it's fun isn't it?)

senses shared

themes and lessons

2012-01-03T21:19:00.000+01:00

I so enjoy reading the word, or even phrase, that many of you choose for your year ahead. Though they are personal, they do spark off ideas, inspirations, or even just pensive thoughts.

I'm not a single word gal myself. I tend to enjoy being open and watching how the new cycle unfolds. What I did get to thinking was, what did I learn last year?

I've been on a mental de-cluttering crusade for the last few years. And I think that last year I truly got it, down deep at soul level. It's never final of course, everything is a process. Yet, now I'm better able to recognise clutter, and while I continue to seek simplicity, more often than before, it comes in a natural flow.

Less striving, more attracting.

front of our house, Montenegro

My theme for this year is Home (unchosen. going by my progressed Moon. ask me and I'll gladly work yours out).

It started in a surprising way. I thought it was going to be about me turning inward as well as finding some calm to my previously crazy creativity surges. The universe has more tangible plans. We'll be doing major renovation works on our house and moving out into an apartment for 5 months. This is both not ideal (upheaval with a little one) and a great opportunity for us (we'll eventually be in a position to sell if we choose to return to England).

I see some wonderfully challenging lesson opportunities. For allowing calm amongst chaos. For finding security amongst instability. For creating Home within.

•

read: Vendetta, Honore de Balzac, kindle free
taste: baby spinach
see: moon calendar giveaway at Wander Wonder Discover
smell: cinnamon and cloves chai
touch: quality make-up, what a treat
think: breathe, then breathe some more
feel: rested after 4 nights of poor sleep

senses shared

re-connecting

2012-01-02T11:08:00.001+01:00

So I fell into that blogging phenomenon of taking a break (in this case unintended) and despite being an enthusiastic blogger, blogging didn't feel necessary. Funny how it happens huh? I guess it's a way for our brains to rebalance. I'm not completely ready to return but did want to touch base with my buddies out here. I'm not even taking photos, and I so dislike creating a visualess post, feels half-formed.

Anyway, we flew over to (an unseasonably mild) England on the 16th. Have been eating way too much of all the foods we miss. Visiting and been visited by friends and relatives. Spots of shopping but otherwise attempted to keep away from Xmas craziness. Finally falling into a rhythm at the in-laws with Miss 3.

And the post brought me a lovely package from America, from the delightful MJ at Wander Wonder Discover. A gorgeous mug giveaway (that the makers at Desert Nova were willing to make up for me because they didn't have the small size I mentioned I wanted... how cool are they!?) and MJ included sweet extras, because she's like that, such as some divine looking tea, little treats, and home-made peppermint lip balm (which Miss 3 loves as well).

Having a mug fetish, I'm thilled with this mug, which includes dragonflies (particular favourites of mine) and the word breathe. Yes.

{source}

I hope your year has begun with hope for wonderful things. Do tell me of what I've missed in your lives over the last couple of weeks.

•

read: finished my first book of the year, The White Queen, enjoyed it
taste: extra thick double cream
see: watched The Young Victoria, quite good
smell: of charity shops (thrift stores)
touch: working on a bamboo yarn crochet throw
think: how powerfully constricting is stubbornness
feel: relaxed

senses shared

focus and freedom

2011-12-19T18:46:00.000+01:00

When it comes to focus and direction we all lean one way or the other. Some of us are very focused while some of us prefer flexibility. But we all go through periods when we lean a little in the opposite direction, and every once in a while we find ourselves at the cross-roads.

We feel torn between a specific direction and the desire for freedom.

Astrologically, we'll be feeling the tense energy between these forces all the way into 2019, and it will intensify during the Winter Solstice. All of us (to varying degrees and in different areas of our lives) will experience a tug-of-war between our sense of purpose and a desire for freedom, perhaps even rebellion.

It will be too easy to remain in a stalemate. Letting yourself become paralysed can result in feelings of restlessness and irritability.

Choosing one path over the other isn't the answer either.

If we stubbornly cling to a goal, for fear of change in that area of our life, we close ourselves off to possibilities. If on the other hand we choose the exciting rebellious path, taking pride in not being a follower, we can lose a wonderful chance for fulfilment.

Here's the secret to breaking out; choose the third path.

{source}

Sometimes the answer is all within - we need to re-frame our perspective. It's not conforming, for example, if the decision is a fully mature understanding that this choice is the best thing for you. It is not chaotic to allow room for change, when that change could be just the answer you've been digging for.

Sometimes our need to rebel is so strong, we do so at any cost, including our own self interest. And sometimes we resist stepping off our path and taking a risk for fear we will lose our way entirely.

Purpose can be open, and freedom can be channelled, without losing the integrity of either.

Can we discover a way to unite purpose and change?

that's life happening

2011-12-16T10:40:00.001+01:00

As my friend John Lennon once said, life happens while you're making other plans.

Miss 3 has a snotty nose and rough cough. We also experienced a raging storm last night. Which kept me from sleep. And whilst there's calm sunny skies this morning, the electricity was off (for us that also means no water), when we have a zillion things to do before we leave in a couple of hours. We have a generator but the Mr boarded it all up for security while we're gone.

It came on 1/2hr ago.

I'm taking a breath, having a cup of lemon tea and trying to check-in to our flight online. It's not letting me!

That's life. *wink*

Just wanted to say hi, have a great weekend, and see you again from England.

notes

2011-12-15T09:06:00.000+01:00

Over the years I have tried and tried and tried again to have a journal. Many starts. Many short journals. You would think I would've got the hint sooner - I'm just not a journaler.

I may love notebooks and pens and all the glories of stationary products..... but it somehow doesn't translate down into my hand and into a book. I'm a typing, non-diarist, random self-expression, type of person.

I have owned snippet journals - notebooks where I jotted down snippets of thoughts, a line for a poem, a funny conversation. I have kept one and it is jammed with writing and ephemera - ticket stubs, a pressed rose, torn napkins with phone numbers. A treasure trove.

Blogging has largely replaced that. But I have discovered one area where a notebook is saving my brain and heart.
Ideas.

I'm an ideas person, having at least one big idea every day. For a painting or illustration or photograph, for a whole new art direction, for a book, for an e-course, for an e-book, for a course of study, for an article, for a blog post, for a career!

The crazy thing was that until quite recently, I wanted each to come to life. And when, inevitably, each couldn't, I would feel frustrated, a sense of loss. Somehow I learnt along the way that if you have an idea, your obligation is to do something with it.

My ideas book is my birthing place. I write each idea out and it's like I have allowed them to become real. To be manifested. Afterall, they are ideas first. They ask for nothing other than to exist. The tangible bit is a whole other manifestation.

I feel like I've honoured them and unburdened myself. And if I ever get the chance or the motivation to actually go further on one of them, there it'll be.

•

read: the oracle
taste: random bits as we empty our fridge
see: Hero, by Miguel Endara, admire this level of patience
hear: dopamine inducing arias
touch: today is all about cleaning, so we leave the house happy
think: how cold it is in England right now
feel: purposeful

in theory...

2011-12-14T09:56:00.000+01:00

I would love to live in a hobbity home...

{source}

In reality I need something like.....

{source} {source}

space and light.
for living, for photography, for art making, for reading,
for breathing deep breaths...

{unknown source} {source}

•

read: started Wings of the Dove twice.... need more brain alertness
taste: drooling at food and pics at What Katie Ate
see: I Am in Love trailer
touch: a little person's warm head... sigh
think: carry the mindfulness throughout the day
feel: hopeful

click

our words

2011-12-13T13:30:00.000+01:00

In The Four Agreements (found it 2nd-hand), one of them is...

Be impeccable with your word

Speak with integrity. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

I'm taking up one aspect today - Say only what you mean.

Here's the thing. The interpretation of language is incredibly tricky.

Here's what it boils down to. People hear what you say through their lenses.

And these are - past experiences, deep wounds, communication style, current mood, general nature, and on and on.

I received an email (anon, chuckle) saying, in gist, how s/he saw I unfollowed her/him and read my post about it, and felt it was very self-absorbed of me to think anyone would care.

My intention was to spare the feelings of anyone who was inclined to self-doubt. I know for a fact that many bloggers care deeply when they are unfollowed or their visits are not returned. It was an issue of simplifying my life.
My words were my usual style. I may not be poetic, but darn it, I aim for clarity.

Once upon a time I would have emailed back trying to mend things by explaining and explaining, despite that my intuition was saying - let it go.

So, be impeccable with your words first.
And, when your intuition tells you so, let it go, don't take it personally..............
compassionately allow others to own their interpretation of them.

•

read: re-discovered simplicity parenting blog
taste: not quite this soup recipe but inspired, made something similar
see: actually switched on the tv and caught a show (american) on extreme couponing. $1077 bill down to $21... woah
hear: hail stones hitting stone
smell: a roasting chicken... gotta use up freezer stuff
think: trying to decide whether or not to take my good camera to uk
feel: the need for some deep belly laughs