Too often, I find that all of the plates/balls/full cups spill out and over, crashing down with an audible scream of exasperation. When I am moving 110mph and my kids are at 5, I struggle. This past week, I decided, for myself, that this had to change.

Starting this summer, I began restructuring my business, so I can be available to my kids in the morning versus rushing out the door. I have made getting to my kids’ soccer games a priority. I have made getting a hot breakfast in their stomachs in the morning my goal before drop off. For me. When I take myself out of the rush, I can be present. They are dealing with SO much after teleschooling for a year and a half. Heading up to middle school and high school, full-time sports, increased homework – and hormones! I decided it was time for me to be a soft place to land because that is what I want for me and for them.

Things fall and break, anxiety rears its nasty head, deadlines come flying and I am choosing to pause and ask how they are doing versus getting caught in the turbulent river.

This has not been achieved to perfection. It is a daily practice and intention. Pause. Listen.

Yes, sometimes (loosely stated), I fall off the wagon, but I can start my day over right there and pause.

I do know that when your teen is getting ramped up, the best thing to do is to go “numb”. Just listen. Don’t feel the need to react and most of all, fix. Just listen.

We have become so reactionary to all of the input we receive from every angle. The act of pausing allows us to create space for others. This is not something that I come by naturally. I am a doer, fixer, problem-solver by nature. I am learning that doesn’t ALWAYS have to be my job. I can leave that at work.

Through our practice of scrolling through social media posts by the mile, we have become accustomed to bouncing from emotion to emotion with the flick of a finger. HAPPY – new baby. ANGER – political post. JOY – wedding. FRUSTRATION – social justice. SAD – a death. We aren’t built to process this rainbow of emotions this quickly. Everything is built to jar our feelings and it is exhausting.

I feel like I have been trying to scroll past my kids’ emotions at times as well. Let’s MOVE through this. Well, sometimes we just need to sit with it for a minute. Put the emotion out there, let it have its moment, process why we are feeling that way, be ok with it and proceed. That isn’t the scroll and swipe behavior we are accustomed to.

I read an article the other day about a mom who stopped yelling at her kids when they broke things but instead, would immediately focus on helping the child pick up the pieces. No one feels good when they break something – or are broken. This beautiful act of swooping down with your child in a loving way to take care of a mess is so moving to me. Extend this to your partner, friend, neighbor or a stranger in the grocery store. We are all broken and could use a hand. We don’t need to be fixed, but a friendly presence sure makes harsh moments more tolerable.

Our fascination with being busy and overworked has come at a major price that I am no longer willing to pay.

As a result, the only immediacy I am attempting to focus on is holding space. It isn’t easy, but it sure feels good when I can do it.

The post A Soft Place to Land first appeared on BonBon Break.

We’ve all said things to our teenage daughters that we don’t believe or condone. We’re just repeating the advice of past generations, and, let’s face it, nothing that’s going on in 21st-century adolescent culture is quite what it was.

Here are some of the things I’m vowing to stop saying to my teenage daughter and what I’m going to try instead.

What I say: It doesn’t matter what people think.

It does matter, to her. A lot. Psychologists have identified a phenomenon known as the spotlight effect, which seems to be particularly strong during the teenage years. This means that our teens genuinely believe that everyone notices every little mistake they make and that this colors their peers’ long-term opinions of them.

What to say instead: What do you think about most often?

As Samuel Johnson once said: “If any man would consider how little he dwells upon the condition of others, he would learn how little the attention of others is attracted by himself.”

Quoting Samuel Johnson to your teen is more likely to get you a condescending eye roll than a grateful epiphany, but it’s true that most of us are far too busy worrying about things that directly affect us to focus on what others are doing.

It may help your teen put things in perspective when she considers the fact that she only obsesses about her mistakes and embarrassments, not other people’s. So it’s unlikely that anyone else thought twice about that embarrassing incident in English class today unless it also impacted them.

What I say: It doesn’t matter how you look.

This is a lie. In high school and middle school, it does matter how you look. It shouldn’t, but it does. It matters how you dress. Hair and make-up matter. Weight matters. Girls talk about this stuff. Even to each other’s faces (and even more behind each other’s backs).

Teenage girls are brutal. They point out a pimple or a fashion faux-pas just because it’s there. So looks do matter.

What to say instead: You’re gorgeous. And it’s irrelevant.

Our daughters aren’t stupid. They know we’re biased. They don’t take our assurances that they’re gorgeous that seriously, but they still need to hear them. They also need to hear that their gorgeousness does not define them.  They need to hear positive praise unrelated to their looks.

They need to hear they’re smart or funny or lovable. They need to hear the same compliments we pay their brothers. They need specific and accurate compliments, so they recognize their genuine strengths and learn to play to them and be proud of them.

Part of our job in raising strong young women is teaching them both that they are beautiful and that their beauty is a small, unimportant part of who they are. It’s convincing them to feel attractive and to know that what’s on the inside is what matters.

It’s letting them know that yes, the sad fact is, looks do matter, even after the teen years. People continue to judge others by their physical appearance long after high school. But other things matter more. Much more.

What I say: Good grades are really important.

There are times in life when good grades will help you, and there are times when courage, resourcefulness, resilience, and common sense will help a whole lot more.

It’s natural to want and encourage academic success for our daughters, but we’re putting more and more pressure on them to get good grades in a world where long-term success and happiness don’t rely solely on doing well in school.

What to say instead: What do you want to do?

Maybe good grades are important to your daughter’s future career plans, but maybe you’re making assumptions that simply aren’t true. Start with your daughter’s ambitions and help her reverse-engineer a resume that will work for her instead of simply focusing on academic prowess.

Volunteer work, extra-curricular activities, and making connections (sometimes it really is about who you know) may be more valuable than top-notch grades. Encourage your teen to reach out to someone successful in the industry she wants to work in so she can ask what she should be doing now to help her succeed in the future.

Remember teenage girls are prone to frequent U-turns and the occasional whim. Help her identify opportunities that will lend themselves to adaption if she decides to change course along the way.

What I say: He’s mean to you because he likes you.

I don’t say this, but I hear it a lot. This is a common example of how we say something to our daughters that’s more about repeating what we were told as a child rather than telling them something we truly believe.

We tell our daughters this from an early age. A boy who pushed her over in the playground did it to get attention because he likes her. A boy in high school singled her out for (negative) attention because he has a crush on her.

There are any number of reasons boys may be mean to our daughters, but we all know that deep down, functional human beings aren’t unpleasant to people they like. And if they are, they probably need help, not an intimate relationship with someone who’s been told that that’s OK.

What to say instead: It’s not about you.

People’s behavior is related to their character, issues, or current frame of mind. One of the most valuable things we can learn as women and human beings is that most things are not about us. A few things are. But most aren’t.

What I say: These are the best days of your life.

This is another cliché adults have been telling teens for years. You’re old enough to go out and have fun. Your parents are still paying your bills. These are times when you have few pressures or responsibilities. Enjoy them. Be grateful.

This may have been true a generation or two ago. But modern-day teens have a rough ride. They’re dealing with scary levels of anxiety and a whole different set of issues. Their levels of depression are high and getting higher. Studies show that the best years of our lives probably come along much later.

What to say instead: It gets better.

It really does. And until it does, I’m here for you. Tell me what you need to get through the teen years. I’ll do my best to help make it happen.

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This post was written by Karen Banes exclusively for BonBon Break Media LLC.

The post Things to Stop Saying to your Teenage Daughter (and What to Say Instead) first appeared on BonBon Break.

“Thank you for my new toy.”

“Thank you for reading to me.”

“Little Brother, thanks for the balloon. Thanks for getting my favorite color.”

When I hear my boys say these things, unprompted by me, I feel…well…thankful. I am grateful that they are starting to appreciate what they have and what others do for them and to recognize that expressing their gratitude to others is kind and important. I’m grateful that something we’re doing must be paying off.

So, just how do parents raise grateful children? I’m not an expert on gratitude, but I am sure that appreciation is not taught with a single, mind-changing lesson. Rather, the lessons are in the every day. And it isn’t just about teaching appreciation for things. Appreciating experiences and other people are important too. Here are…

11 ways to raise a grateful child

1. Tell him thank you.

Much like “give respect to be respected,” children learn to appreciate by being appreciated. Thank your child for clearing the table, for playing nicely with his little sister, for waiting patiently while you finish a phone call. Thank him for just being a downright awesome kid. Show him how it feels to be appreciated and have his effort recognized, what gratitude sounds like, and how easily it can be a part of daily life.

2. Let him hear you thank others.

Our children learn so much by watching us. We can tell our kids to be grateful, but showing them what that means is so much more powerful. Point out the kind thing a neighbor or even a stranger did, and express how much you appreciate it. Tell your spouse thank you for making dinner, for helping with baths, for being a great parent. Let your kids hear you express appreciation for these things that are so easy to take for granted.

3. Don’t give her everything she wants.

Is it cliche to say that kids who have everything will appreciate nothing? When my oldest was a preschooler, I worried about him having a serious case of the gimmes. Maybe it was just his age, but I have to think that my tendency to bring home little gifts “just because” and indulge his every wish when we went shopping was part of the problem. We made a conscious effort to scale back – a lot – and I noticed a big improvement in his appreciation for the things we did give him.

4. Give her the things she needs, and provide her with opportunities to earn the things she wants.

Earning can take many forms, like a reward for accomplishing a certain goal or an allowance for chores. Even if you don’t want to tie an allowance to chores, the simple expectation that kids use their own money buy “extras” helps them to understand that many experiences and things require someone’s hard work. (When my boys ask for something at the store, I often ask if they are willing to spend their own money. If the answer is no, my response is usually that if it isn’t something they want badly enough to spend their own money on, they shouldn’t expect me to spend my money on it.)

5. Keep rewards reasonable.

It doesn’t take much to make kids happy, but when they constantly receive big rewards we are setting them up to think big is a way of life. A 50 cent allowance for a kindergartner is enough. When kids are potty training, stickers or M&Ms do the trick. They don’t need a new toy every time they poop or $10 a week. Save the big stuff – video games, a trip to the amusement park – for special occasions or celebrating really big accomplishments, so that it holds its value.

6. Call her out when she is unappreciative.

This doesn’t mean lecture the poor kid about how ungrateful she is, of course, but gently let her know, “Hey, you’re really taking this for granted and it’s not okay.” We’ve run into this at dinner time a lot. If the boys moan and groan about what we’ve served for dinner, our response is something along the lines of, “I think what you mean to say is ‘Thank you, Daddy, for taking the time to cook us dinner tonight.'” This usually stops them in their tracks. It lets them know they can appreciate the work that goes into making dinner, whether or not they like what’s on their plates!

7. Give back.

There are so many ways to give back to our community and to those in need. Rather than doing this solo, involve the kids and talk about what you are doing. Together, select a toy for Toys for Tots. Volunteer to help your local food bank with gleaning. Make care packages for the local homeless shelter. Encourage your child to put a small part of her allowance in the Salvation Army kettles in December. Participate in a walk-for-a-cause.

8.  Help your child see the need around her.

Need can come in so many forms. No matter your family’s situation, you can likely find examples in your community of people in greater need. Talk about why the Toys for Tots boxes are placed around town at the holidays. Point out the food bank when you drive by and talk about why it exists. As you tuck your child in at night, talk about how some children are not so lucky to have warm beds and a fridge full of food. If those things are a struggle for your family, help your child appreciate being healthy and loved. Those things seem so basic, but they are worth appreciating!

9.  Teach your child about developing countries.

Not in a “Woe are the poor people in those other countries” kind of way, but in a more specific way. Talk about how some countries do not have clean drinking water or medicines available. Find examples in the news or books to share with your kids. Sponsor a child through Food for the Hungry and have your child exchange letters with her, and talk about why your sponsorship is important. Help your child to recognize that there is a world beyond her own.

10.  Incorporate daily gratitudes into your family’s routine.

Whether it is part of your dinnertime routine, bedtime, or some sort of gratitude journal, encourage your child to find things to be thankful for every day. Help him to notice the little things that we so often take for granted.

11.  Write thank you notes.

Good ol’ fashioned thank you notes. They are more than a polite formality. They can also help children to realize that the fact a person gave them a gift or came to their party or did something especially nice for them is worth being recognized and acknowledged.

What do you do, to encourage gratitude and appreciation in your children? Please scroll on down to the commend share your stories!

Check out these posts from Musing Momma:

• Spilled Frappucinos: Letting Kids Experience Disappointment
• Three Magic Words that Encourage Respect

CONTINUE READING IN THE FAMILY ROOM

READ THESE FROM BONBON BREAK:

• How to Raise Independent Kids
• Food Banks: Help Beyond the Holidays
• What “I’m Sorry” Teaches

The post 11 Ways To Raise A Grateful Child first appeared on BonBon Break.

by Ellie of Musing Momma

I’m pretty sure that my 7-year-old snuck off at some point in the night and took classes at Harvard Law. How else can I explain his ability to argue any point ad naseum, putting the most seasoned attorney to shame? It’s admirable, really. He is persistent and amazingly convincing. But, as his mom, I also find it really, really frustrating, particularly when the arguing results in a heated negotiation about something I’ve asked him to do or not to do. I am also certain I’m not the first parent to experience this. I was a pretty argumentative kid myself, so I can count my own parents in the “been there” club. Maybe you are a member too?

The Dilemma

On one hand I want to support Zippy’s assertiveness, and I want him to know that what he has to say matters. I know that he is at the age where feeling knowledgeable is important and, as a very goal-directed kid, getting to do what he wants to do is important to him.

On the other hand, there are times that the answer is “because I said so” (even though I swore that would never be the case). As a parent, I’m juggling so many different things that sometimes I just need him to go with the flow so I can keep all of the balls in the air. I also want him to respect my role as the parent in our relationship. The more that I engage with him in debate, the less weight my words seem to hold and the more everything seems to become debatable. And, beyond our relationship as parent and child, I want my boys to learn that there is a time and place to disagree or stand one’s ground – both with adults and with peers. It is an important skill to have when it comes to building healthy relationships or being a strong leader.

So where is the middle ground? How do I give Zip the space to share his point of view, without getting drawn into a heated debate over whether he is allowed to catch snapping turtles with his bare hands or whether he brushed his teeth before getting in bed? (Definite NO on the snapping turtles and, sweetie, your toothbrush is still bone dry.)

The Solution

I was really struggling with this during our end-of-summer trip to Vermont. I was flying solo the last few days and I had reached my breaking point. As usually happens, frustration and guilt about with how I was handling interactions with my boys prompted me to sit down and come up with a plan. The plan is very simple. It is just a structure that allows the kids to share their thoughts but doesn’t enable an argument. It goes something like this:

1. I say something Zip disagrees with – No, you can’t watch the new Ninja Turtles movie. Or You need to clean the playroom before you go to your friend’s house. Or It looks like you have homework tonight.
2. If he disagrees, he asks me, “Can I say something about that?” to which I will try to always say, “Yes.”
3. He can then explain why he disagrees. And – here is the key – I will listen closely to what he has to say. Really listen.
4. I consider his thoughts on the matter (also a key part of the plan), and I either stick to my initial position or agree that he has a good point. And that is the end of it. No more debate. Whatever I say at this point goes.

Why It Works

So often when a disagreement began I would find myself immediately feeling frustrated  (Here we go again!). I would be so intent on standing my ground that I didn’t really listen. My responses became arbitrary and I knew it. Sometimes I gave in (Okay, he makes a good point) and sometimes I stood my ground even though he made a good point (He needs to respect that I’m the adult). And if he didn’t feel heard, that only increased his frustration and fueled his efforts to change my mind.

Our new strategy slows me down and that, in itself, makes a difference. When Zip explains his point of view, I try to let him talk for as long as he needs, and sometimes I ask, “Is there anything you would like to add?” before we move on to the next step, just to be sure he has said everything he needs to say. The beauty of it is that when kids feel heard and know that their thoughts have at least been taken into consideration, they are more likely to accept the outcome, even if it isn’t in their favor.

How It’s Going

I don’t expect to stop the arguing completely. That wouldn’t be realistic or even fair. Kids need to be able to speak up and share their opinions.  We’re all human and get a little heated sometimes. My goal is to keep our frustration and the arguments to a minimum, and to teach Zip how to disagree in a respectful way. Not only does our new strategy divert an argument, but Zip is gaining valuable practice in how to disagree respectfully and “make his case” in a positive way.

It is still a work in progress. I explained the plan to Zip before we started using it and while he sometimes remembers on his own, I often find myself needing to remind him (and myself), “Whoa! This sounds like arguing! What did we forget to do?” “Oh yeah. Can I make a point, Momma?” But the more we practice, the more routine it becomes. And when we do use this strategy, we’re both happier. I’d call that success.

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ABOUT ELLIE: Ellie is the Editor of the Family Room at BonBon Break and blogs at Musing Momma, where she shares inspiration for happy parenting and reflects on life as momma in a mixed race family.  Ellie has a Ph.D. in psychology and counseled children and families for several years before changing paths to spend more time with her family. She resides in central Pennsylvania with her husband, their two adorably mischievous boys (ages 4 and 7), and their sweet, arthritic dog (age 84, in dog years).

Follow Ellie on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest. You can subscribe to her blog right here. 

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The post How To Stop Kids’ Arguing While Still Letting Them Be Heard first appeared on BonBon Break.

My vision of the perfect summer with my kids was completely squashed. At 7 and 3, they are both very independent. They adore and hate each other in the same breath. They will play side-by-side or together and it will seem like the world is alright, but when the arguing starts…it doesn’t stop.

I should preface this by telling you that my daughter is a screamer. She has been since she was born. We gave my son headphones to wear when she would get going as a babe to keep him smiling near his new sister.

She brought out the screamer in me, and my son, and my husband. Everyone is screaming.

Don’t get me wrong, I know it isn’t her fault. It is just the way it happened and I reacted. We all reacted.

When I called my husband, I was at my wit’s end. There had been nothing but screaming for days. I couldn’t take anymore. I was tired; emotionally and physically spent.

I kept telling myself to rise above the clamor, to soothe their nerves and teach them to calm themselves and to compromise with one another. Work to solve the problem and then the problem is solved. I have read the books, the posts, been to the classes. It. Should. Work. It wasn’t.

It always started with me using the skills I was taught and then, after I was worn down, there would be screaming, tears, apologies, hugs and cuddles. This wasn’t a cycle I wanted to continue. I couldn’t live my life feeling frayed.

And then I read THIS post. Amanda, from Dirt and Boogers, wrote about the importance of physical reminders. She created little yellow hearts all over her house as reminders not to yell. She was inspired by another favorite, Alissa from Creative with Kids.

I decided to try it. I needed something, but the thought of hearts everywhere wasn’t working for me. I am a physical person. I need to be removed from a situation to get clarity.

While my son and daughter started bickering over a Ninjago character’s head, I walked over to their art table, grabbed a piece of yellow construction paper and a pair of their kiddie scissors. I folded the paper in half and started cutting. Immediately, I had their attention. “What are you making mama?” “Just keep watching”, I responded. I won’t lie. I was shaking and crying as I was cutting out the heart.

When the heart was done, I placed it on the table and asked them what it was. “A pretty yellow heart! I love it!”, gushed my daughter.

“I’m glad you love it, because it is going to live in our house.” I walked over to the wall in the center of our house and taped it up there. “What are you doing?”, asked my son.

“I am putting this heart here because I care about you, I care about your sister and I don’t want to yell anymore. I don’t want to yell anymore because I care about you and I love you.”

I explained that there wouldn’t be anymore yelling in our house. If we felt like we were going to yell, we would walk to the heart and place our hand on it. We would breathe and count to 5 and then walk in the other direction until we felt composed.

As arguments started over the course of the day, I would ask one or both of the kids to “put their hand on the heart”. I used it three times, before I ever allowed myself to get angry and my kids watched me walk to the wall, place my hand on the heart and catch my breath.

This morning, I felt myself getting frustrated while we were heading to the car with soccer gear flying in all directions. I pictured the heart, kept walking and placed my hand over my own heart. Three days in and I still get teary every time I use it. I know I am making a commitment to my family and to myself each time I choose that yellow heart over anger and frustration.

We have been using it and it works for us. I am sharing in case it might work for you. It is a hopeless feeling to get angry with the people you love the most in the world.

I owe a heartfelt “thank you” to Alissa and Amanda for changing the dynamics in our home.

Please visit Alissa’s post: The Day I Realized I Was Bullying My Kids and Amanda’s post: How to Stop Yelling: a simple tip that works to read the inspiration behind this post and to see their interpretations. In addition, Amanda has started a Facebook group called “The Stop Yelling Challenge” and she has a great way to put inspirational mantras around your house.

If you need help finding mantras, Shawn from The Abundant Mama Project shared these on BonBon Break a couple of years back and I visit them frequently.

Don’t give up. You can do this.

This post was written by Val Curtis exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC

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The post I Had to Stop Yelling first appeared on BonBon Break.

This scarf outfit guide doesn’t just cover fall outfits but also includes a few ways to wear a scarf in the summer and spring. Use this scarf guide as an inspiration to incorporate scarves into your outfits year round not just when the leaves start to turn color.

If you love scarves as much as I do, I know you’ll love this guide! Continue scrolling to read a ton of style tips and advice when it comes to wearing scarves!

WAYS TO WEAR A SCARF

1. Have your scarf be the center of the outfit

If you’re looking to wear a scarf in an attention-grabbing way don’t wrap it around your neck instead let is fall in front of you and add a skinny belt. This way to wear a scarf is best with a larger scarf. You want the scarf to end just above your knee and be large enough to make a statement. In this cute fall outfit, I went with a black and white look and added a gray and white plaid scarf to complete the look.

2. Wear an oversized knit scarf to soften up a look

Putting together a city chic outfit is always fun. To soften it up add a slightly oversized knit scarf. Pair your favorite black leather moto jacket with a scarf in the same color family to keep the cool vibe. In this fall outfit, I wore a gray knit scarf with a moto jacket, skinny jeans and leopard print heels. I also made sure I matched the color of the scarf with a clothing piece in my outfit, in this case, it was the long sleeve shirt under the moto jacket.

3. Wear a bright white scarf in a black and white outfit

In a time when everyone is wearing fall seasonal colors stand out by wearing black and white. In this fall outfit, I used the scarf as my starting point. I wanted to create a stylish outfit that made this scarf shine. I matched the white scarf with a white blazer. If you’re going to try this make sure the whites match. Don’t wear a jacket that is brighter than your scarf. To create a cohesive, look match your whites. I then added black leggings, a black tank top, and black heels.

4. Use a plaid scarf as the finishing touch in a stylish seasonal outfit

Have you ever put together an outfit and thought something is missing. Well, try adding a scarf! In this stylish fall outfit that I wore for a Thanksgiving family dinner paired dark wash jeans with riding boots, mustard sweater, and gray plaid scarf. I made sure the gray matched something else in the outfit so the gray cuffs on the sweater are the coordinating touch.

5. A jersey scarf can complete an outfit

If subtle is your signature look, go for a smaller scarf in a dark color that will blend into the entire outfit. You can wear a scarf with a blazer! I wore this outfit while sightseeing in Florence so I wanted to look dressy but still be comfortable. To add dimension to this outfit, I completed the outfit with a black jersey scarf.

6. Wear a scarf to keep you warm but look stylish as well

You can wear a scarf for its original purpose, to keep you warm. I wore this stylish winter outfit while in Venice and it was freezing there. I wrapped the scarf around my neck twice to keep me warm. This plaid scarf is the lighter item in the outfit. I wanted to add some dimension to this look so instead of wearing a black scarf I went for something light instead. Keep this in mind when putting together your outfit.

Click HERE to see 21 MORE creative ways!

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The post 6 Ways to Wear a Scarf with Your Favorite Fall Outfits first appeared on BonBon Break.

To get started on planning your game of charades, you will need some rules, a few simple items, and charade word ideas for Halloween.

There are charade words ranging from exciting to spooky, perfect for your kid or adult Halloween parties.

Items You Need to Play Halloween Charades

• Bowl for charade word ideas
• Paper
• Pencil
• Timer
• Players

Halloween Charades – How to Play

To start out your game of Halloween charades, you will need to focus on a few simple rules. First, the youngest person goes first. This person will then choose a topic from the bowl of Halloween charade words. Once a topic has been chosen, the person must act out the topic without speaking. The remaining players must then attempt to guess what it is that is being acted out. The first person to guess correctly before the timer goes off gets to choose and act out a topic next. The game can go on for as long as you prefer or until there are no words left in the bowl.

>>Print out game cards<<

Halloween Charades for Kids

• Pumpkin
• Candy
• Jack-o-lantern
• Brains
• Halloween
• Costume
• Carving Pumpkins
• Scarecrow
• Devil
• Witch
• Broomstick
• Bats
• Werewolf
• Monster
• Candy Apple
• Haunted House
• Spider
• Dragon
• Alien
• Vampire
• Ghost
• Goblin
• Spooky
• Skeleton
• Blood
• Graveyard
• Mummy
• Trick or Treat
• Black Cat
• Zombie
• Cauldron
• Frankenstein
• Fangs
• The Headless Horseman
• Cobwebs
• Haunted
• Mask
• Candy Corn
• Chocolate
• Dark
• Magic
• Evil
• Treats
• Ghoul
• Scary
• Psycho
• Night of the Living Dead
• Spiderwebs
• Dungeon
• Screams
• Goosebumps
• Boo
• Creepy
• Decorations
• Clouds
• Killer
• Horror
• Castle
• Hocus Pocus
• Dolls
• Clowns
• Dracula
• Spirits
• Psychic
• Phantom
• Make up

Halloween is an exciting time of year and playing a game of Halloween charades can make it even better. Just make sure to gather all the materials you need and get some awesome charade word ideas for Halloween. In no time, your family and friends will be enjoying the best game of Halloween charades, ever. Boo!

SEE OUR CHARADE PRINTABLES COLLECTION:

• Everyday Charades
• Thanksgiving Charades
• Christmas Charades
• New Year’s Eve Charades
• … and Restaurant Games, too!

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The post Halloween Charades for Kids (with printable game cards) first appeared on BonBon Break.

Nasturtiums?!?! No way. My garden is FULL of nasturtiums and I love them because they bring in the bees and birds that my veggies need – but, pesto!?

I have heard of making pesto with nettles, carrot tops, garlic scapes and, of course, basil, but this completely threw me for a loop.

So, here’s the thing, my food processor broke last week, but I wasn’t going to let this one fly by. Instead of the food processor, I used my immersion blender – and it was a little messy. I can handle messy. However, I wouldn’t recommend this because the toasted walnuts got a little crazy and, um, airborne.

The other thing about this recipe is the importance of the individual ingredients. For your homemade nasturtium pesto use parmesan that you have to grate. No snow cheese (that’s the tall green plastic container). I used fresh garlic that was pulled from a local farm two days ago – and it is the Music variety, my favorite because it is mild and has HUGE cloves. Use goooood olive oil. Finally, for the coarse salt, San Juan Island Sea Salt. There is no other option in this house. BAM!

As with any recipe, the ingredients will make all the difference. If your family likes garlic, this is perfect. If you have some really strong garlic, maybe dial it down a notch. Remember, recipes aren’t set in stone. Feel free to freestyle it a little to meet your needs. Want to use pecans, pine nuts, or almonds instead? Go for it!

Nasturtiums have a wonderful spicy, peppery taste and I didn’t add any pepper, but if you are pepper people, add a dash or four.

Make it. Enjoy it. Tell us how you served it. Today, my kids asked if they could have it on crackers and that’s why I made another double batch.

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Fresh Nasturtium Pesto Recipe

We love having these bright flowers in our gardens to attract birds and bees, but did you know that the leaves and petals are edible? Nasturtium Pesto will have you planting more seeds and making more.

Keyword from the garden, pesto, sauce

Prep Time 15 minutes minutes

Author Val Curtis

Equipment

• food processor

Ingredients

• 6 cups Nasturtium leaves
• 5 Fresh garlic cloves coarsely chop
• 3/4 cup Walnuts roasted
• 1 1/2 cups Parmesan freshly grated
• 2/3 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 Lemon juiced
• 1 tbsp Salt coarse

Instructions

• Pick nasturtiums and wash and rinse each leaf under cold water. Use a salad spinner to remove excess water or pat dry.
• In a small skillet over medium heat, add walnuts gently stir until they are toasted.
• In a food processor, add the hot walnuts and coarsely chop.
• Add garlic to the food processor.
• Add Parmesan, olive oil, lemon juice, and salt to the food processor.
• Using a spatula, scoop it into a jar and chill for half an hour.

Nutrition

Sodium: 241mg | Fiber: 9g | Sugar: 6g | Iron: 5mg

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The post Fresh Nasturtium Pesto Recipe first appeared on BonBon Break.

Soooo some of these are big companies with a trial period for free, but there are lots of options to get all of you through this time.

Fitness for Kids of All Ages

ReFit Dance Fitness
https://www.youtube.com/user/ReFitRev 
Zumba type classes, but basic moves

ABC Stronger
https://www.abcstronger.com/stronger-kids
Free live online classes for kids via Zoom 

Les Mills for Kids – Born to Move
https://watch.lesmillsondemand.com/born-to-move       
First 14 days free, then $14.99 a month. All age groups. When it comes to learning a whole lot of cool moves from dance, martial arts and yoga this class is the way to go. Each 20 or 40-minute class is jam-packed with cool music and foundation fitness moves and fun games. This is sure to leave the kids (and parents) feeling great!

Beach Body on Demand
https://www.beachbodyondemand.com/programs/beachbody-yoga-studio/overview
14 days free then 3 months for $39 – a variety of workouts. Yoga, PiYo, P90X, and more.

Teen Fitness Class: Innovation Dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_xIjqcXFFU  
Teens – come and work out with Ella! Make the most of this break by keeping your fitness levels HIGH!

PopSugar Fitness Video Collection
https://www.youtube.com/user/popsugartvfit/videos  

BonBon Break Yoga Series Collection
https://www.bonbonbreak.com/tag/yoga/

Kim Saha Videos – Family Fitness, Pilates, Teen Classes
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXgoMN9MAU2U3rLMLWUWdJA/videos 

Soccer Training

Reel Time Coaching
https://est.reeltimecoaching.com/programs/free-weekly-training-program/

Beast Mode Soccer
https://beastmodesoccer.com
Beast Mode’s role is simple: They take rec, club or virtually any player who is not satisfied with their game, and give them all the tools and knowledge they need to achieve their soccer goals.

Coerver South Carolina https://www.facebook.com/coervercoaching.southcarolina/

Joner 1-on-1 Futball Training
https://www.facebook.com/Joner1on1/

Eddie Johnson Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/eddie_johnson7/
Daily tips and drills to help you sharpen your skills.

We will be adding to this page as resources roll in. Do you have one to add? Leave the link here.

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• 6 Benefits of a Gratitude Practice
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• Yoga Apps for Beginners
• Best Yoga Equipment for Beginners

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The post Fitness for Teens during Quarantine first appeared on BonBon Break.

While some mamas started homeschooling right away, I decided to give my kids and myself a reprieve.  But after almost two weeks of being on lockdown, both my kids and I were clamoring for a sense of normalcy.  

Corona quarantine pretty much sent me over the edge.  Maybe it was the moment I felt like I was room service, delivering meals to each of my kids.  Or maybe it was the fact that I just couldn’t get the kids on board with this new “distance learning” concept. What I did know was that I had three perfectly competent kiddos who were perfectly capable of making lunches, cleaning up, and even taking care of the duties at home.  

This wasn’t a hotel.

This wasn’t spring break.

This is not some extended vacation.

My frustration began to brew.   

In an attempt to corral the chaos during Corona quarantine, I had to take drastic measures to give my kids a sense of purpose each day.  I crafted a list of “Corona-cation” action items, addressed as chores contributions.  Chores are unpleasant tasks or small, odd jobs.  Whereas contributions are having a part in something bigger. They had to complete a handful of items each day.  My job was to validate their efforts on behalf of the team.  

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do the chores, but I somehow went from a working professional to catering to everyone’s needs and taking orders like a short order cook.  I still had a job to do, I was still mom, and I still had the chores piling up.  

I decided to note all the things I was doing in the day, and then, I had an epiphany: Children all should be making contributions to the family – and not just in the face of a global pandemic, but for the good of the whole household.  Chores are unpleasant tasks or small, odd jobs. Whereas contributions are having a part in something. Contributions, not chores. 

I needed my kids to contribute to the success of the family.  They could get along and work together and complete parts that make the family whole.  My husband, holed up in his home office, didn’t have the time to roll out the trash cans.  And I, myself, an educator navigating the world of distance learning, needed time to craft lessons for my class.  The children began to become a vital role in helping the family unit function because of their contributions.  

If I am lucky, when we survive CoVid-19, we just might have some additional helpers making certain the household runs smoothly…and maybe a new definition of quarantine.

Click HERE to print your own copy.

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The post How Can Kids Help During Quarantine? first appeared on BonBon Break.

This boy, my girl, and I have had the best days lately! Yes, I’m shocked, too, given the state of our world these past few weeks. We are in the thick of the SARS-CoV-2 (aka coronavirus-19) pandemic, and we live in a medium-sized town in a more rural area of Washington state. 

Strangely enough, we’ve had far less arguing, better listening, and even some excitement about their “homeschool” sessions twice a day. Perhaps they are a bit more excited for their different P.E. sessions – note the P.E. photo above. Overall, there’s more hugging, more home-cooked meals, more all-around family time. Honestly speaking: it is more of what I’ve always wished for! 

It is not lost on me the amount of work that goes into creating a lesson plan each day for two children, imagine doing this for 20+! Now more than ever, am I realizing that teachers are disgustingly underpaid. We need to do something about this, America. There is simply no excuse.

In the middle of all of this, I am 4 weeks post-op from moderately extensive shoulder surgery on my dominant arm. Recovery is trying my patience because I am not one to sit still, however,  my forced immobility selfishly and unknowingly came at the perfect time in our lives.

Our family has self-quarantined in our home to keep everyone healthy. But especially to try to keep me from contracting this so that when this virus hits hard, as it’s anticipated to do in about a month or more, I will hopefully still be healthy enough to help care for sick people who need me.

Now, I’m suddenly working part-time (2 hours, computer work only) from home while recovering, since my dominant arm is basically useless for the foreseeable future. On the other hand (pun intended), I’m able to be home with my kids during these uncertain times. 

Schools across our state and many other states have entirely shut down for at least six weeks. Our governor also ordered all restaurants, bars, gyms, etc., to be closed to “flatten the curve,” or reduce transmission of this new virus, which we know very little about. Because of the recommended “social distancing,” being at least 6 feet away from others, everyone has forcibly slowed down. All of a sudden, our family calendar is the emptiest it’s been in probably… ever. 

My 10-year-old son has given me bear hugs every single morning, and at various times catching me off guard throughout our days, shouts out this playful invitation, “Jump on the trampoline with me, Mom!” He momentarily forgets that I can’t do that right now with my shoulder in this gigantic brace.

Usually, I am that Mom who gets on the trampoline and shows them the tricks I’m still able to do from my childhood gymnastics classes. But now, he is instead satisfied with me videotaping his new skills for him to watch back so he can try to perfect his trampoline technique. 

At least this gets his mind off of his abruptly halted snowboard season. He misses his friends and I miss the snowboard parents that we spent every weekend with. All of a sudden, we are all in this realm of social isolation for the greater good.

In the midst all of these uncomfortable changes, my eldest child, a 12-year-old daughter with an artistic mind and beautiful old soul, is more engaged in active play with all of us and less engaged in her usual independent favorites: reading, pencil sketching, digital art, video games or computer programming.

As a family, we have been playing more board games, cooking more meals together, folding more laundry… well, they fold/we all put away. Overall getting more things done as a family unit. We have movie nights every couple of nights complete with freshly popped popcorn or ice cream sundaes. All of these things, when done by us together, and done with more smiles on our faces and lighter moods, make easier and more pleasant work, and they are living and learning this right now.

I must admit, with less overall stressors, I am able to enjoy them more, take in the sound of their laughs, and revel in their discoveries. Our hearts are more joyful, and we have a shoulder surgery, a wonderfully understanding work family, and one “united nation under coronavirus” to thank for it.

Trust me; I hear those of you grumbling in the background. I am very aware that not every parent can stay home right now, as all of our schools are closed because of this pandemic. Ask anyone who really knows me; I’ve had M A N Y times throughout motherhood whereby I felt that “mom guilt” that so nastily creeps in and steals away our peace as I am usually the one called away from home to work in the hospital or clinic as I am a healthcare worker. And even with this pandemic, my time will come.

My shoulder needs to heal for a few more weeks. That is right about the time when this virus is expected to peak in our little town. That is when I will lose this beautiful freedom of being home and I will be called in to screen many and care for some very sick people. But not yet! This is MY time. This silver lining is mine. This time, I get those memories I’ve SO longed for as a full-time healthcare worker, even sometimes the solo breadwinner. 

So the fact that these kids of mine are getting along the best they have in years, they’re hanging out with me more than they have in months, and I’m less stressed than I’ve been in God knows how long… I count this chaotic time in our lives as a blessing for us!

I fully recognize and have deep aches in my own mama’s heart for those of you who are unable to be with your kids right now. I hear you. I feel it, as I, too, speak from experience.

It’s times like these whereby your kids will learn more independence, self-resilience, and creativity, being that you’re not with them each day during this new change in everyone’s lives. My kids have had their fair share of such independent challenges, from the time of my Hospitalist job where I was required to work sometimes ten, 24-hour consecutive shifts in addition to my regular 40-hour week clinic job.

I was the Mom who sometimes got called right back into work after just having come home from being there for 18 hours or longer, who missed some family meals, who missed certain school events because “we really need you back at the hospital.” Then through our long, super not fun divorce, as well as scattered throughout the years of just overall being MY kids. The kids of a Nurse Practitioner who even still has to take 24-hour emergency calls one week a year. My kids get it. They’ve had to. It has not been easy for any of us.

Take a minute to close your eyes and focus on the smiling faces of your children. Let the happiness you see in their eyes give you strength in knowing that they will learn, grow, and become better versions of themselves because of these trying times. I promise you. I speak from experience. They’ll be better off, and so will you. You’ve got this!

“You never realize how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” -Mr. Bob Marley

#wewillsurvivethistogether

Meet Kimberlee: Kimberlee is a 40-something-year-old Mom of two, engaged to the love of her life, and is excited to soon add the title of “stepmother” to her fiancé’s eight-year-old son. Kimberlee has worked as a nurse practitioner specializing in family medicine for the past 15 years, as well as a college nursing instructor. Before that, she was a pediatric and adult E.R./trauma nurse at a level one trauma center in Metropolitan Los Angeles, where she was born and raised. She’s also a certified public health nurse. She enjoys backpacking trips with her family, running, and sipping coffee with friends.

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6 Tips to Help with Isolation During Shelter in Place

1. Stick to a Schedule

We are waking up at the same time every day and doing our usual morning routine. This morning, my daughter asked, “Can you do my hair for school?” It almost brought me to my knees, but YES, I can do your hair for school.

I am SO grateful to the teachers who are providing structure for my kids’ days right now. TRULY grateful.

We are all in bed at our normal bed time, too. Sleep for sanity is how I am thinking about it right now. I think a full night’s sleep is the best self-care I can do.

2. Get Outside

This is a good one. It is amazing how beneficial just going outside is for me. This does not mean you should head to the spot where 100 other people are choosing to go. It can be a walk around the block. Knock on a neighbor’s windows and wave and blow a kiss. We did this outside my dad’s house the other day and we need to do it again. It just FEELS good.

3. Do Something Creative

Find a creative outlet. Hint: Words with Friends or Facebook do not count. Turn up the music and dance or sing (Mama’s Morning Groove Playlist). Start a project (OMG, look at this puppy knitting kit!) Knitting, painting, dancing in your kitchen, drawing, coloring, play-doh, even make something with your egg cartons! Hangout with Mo Willems and learn how to draw. So cool.

By the way, you don’t have to do ALL OF THESE THINGS. One is fine. In our house, I am knitting and working in my garden. The kids are jumping on “Just Dance” daily. My daughter is knitting and my son is on his keyboard. LEGOS are out and all over. See where your family members gravitate during this unstructured time. It is nice to have the time space to do this.

4. Laugh

It’s ok to laugh right now. Lately, I have found myself letting go of my normal routine of pushing through to the next task / responsibility and finding the funny in things. (Apologies to our office neighbor downstairs who had to endure our jumps into the new bean bag – slo mo video is hysterical!) Being silly with my kids is the antidote to just about everything.

Our moment of belly aching laughter came when my daughter found a Strawberry Shortcake pajama shirt with frills on the bottom from when she was 5. Everyone in the family proceeded to try it on. This might sound ridiculous to you, but it had us crying.

5. Do Something You Don’t Want to Do

THIS! Ok, we could do Easy Street and stay in our pajamas for ?? straight days, but I know this isn’t really good for my brain. Monday- Friday I am getting dressed (I am always in whatever is nearby on the weekends).

That something you are struggling to do might be taking a shower, cleaning out a pantry, doing some yoga or meditation, or getting your garden ready. Do it. You will be grateful you did.

6. Move

This sounds so simple, but it is REALLY easy to stay in one place and get fixed to your screen right now. Moving with my kids and can EASILY roll into the numbers listed above. with one stone.

After feeling pretty tense a couple of days ago, I grabbed my daughter and went for a 20 minute stroll- through the parking lot, down the street, back up the street and twice more through the parking lot. It cleared my head, we laughed, talked and connected.

Something I am attempting to do right now is to only look at the news once a day. Not first thing in the morning and not before I go to bed. It doesn’t set me up for good thoughts either way.

Finally, alongside the news, I am being VERY mindful about what I am watching on TV. Adios drama, I need something lighter right now.

While scrolling through Netflix, I almost clicked through on “Pandemic”. Nope. I do NOT need to do that to myself right now. I am working hard to protect my thoughts because…

Be kind to yourself.

Fight to stay present.

Protect your thoughts.

You’ve got this.

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The post 6 Tips to Help with Isolation During Shelter in Place first appeared on BonBon Break.