<link>http://www.bookmarriagesave.com</link> <description /> <lastBuildDate>Sat, 19 May 2012 20:14:20 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en</language> <sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency> <generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=</generator> <image> <link>http://www.bookmarriagesave.com</link> <url>http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/wp-content/mbp-favicon/96x96_favicon_2red-hearts.gif</url> <title /> </image> <atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/bookmarriagesave/HDtZ" /><feedburner:info uri="bookmarriagesave/hdtz" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><feedburner:emailServiceId>bookmarriagesave/HDtZ</feedburner:emailServiceId><feedburner:feedburnerHostname>http://feedburner.google.com</feedburner:feedburnerHostname><feedburner:browserFriendly></feedburner:browserFriendly><item> <title>Q&A: My Husband doesn’t provide for me and Im frustrated!? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-my-husband-doesnt-provide-for-me-and-im-frustrated http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-my-husband-doesnt-provide-for-me-and-im-frustrated#comments Sat, 19 May 2012 20:14:20 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-my-husband-doesnt-provide-for-me-and-im-frustrated Question by 3Diamonds: My Husband doesn’t provide for me and Im frustrated!?
Hi all, my husband has never had an easy time getting and maintaining a job (like many i know). Bounced from one to another. Finally we worked together in real estate a few years. He is still working in that field now, but doesnt make enough money. I think he should get a 2nd job (i have 3 part time). I help him send resume out to no avail. I send him job listings and they don’t work for him. He says he wants to make a quarter million dollars a year. He is working on ??? to get there. Not sure how. He is 32, and we have no kids (cant afford them), can’t pay our mortgage. He says my getting 3 jobs is now motivating him to work, but he was really depressed last year when he turned 32 and even wanted a divorce (can you believe the nerve? now turns out, he was truly depressed and is much happier w/ us, realizing its the financial chaos and mess were in that truly sucks).

So… I was seeing a therapist last year when he was depressed, and he told me to work hard, leave him alone, make nice… and he was helpful in saving our marriage.

Today for ex: im home sick w/ cold. I feel like he should be doing more for me. He got me coffee and took me shopping for food and got me soup for lunch out, but then goes golfing all afternoon, and makes a few biz calls and thinks that is work….. Ugg…. frustrated and not sure WHAT if anything I can do…

He just knows how to spend spend spend… I suppose i am not helpful in that i also spend too, but now that i am working like crazy, spending much less.

I love him, but can’t stand his behavior.

Best answer:

Answer by Beam Me Up Scotty
life is to short not to be happy, and you aren’t getting any younger…Perhaps a fresh start is in order.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-my-husband-doesnt-provide-for-me-and-im-frustrated/feed 3 Q&A: Even though I am trying my best to save my marriage my keeps wanting divorce what can I do? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-even-though-i-am-trying-my-best-to-save-my-marriage-my-keeps-wanting-divorce-what-can-i-do http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-even-though-i-am-trying-my-best-to-save-my-marriage-my-keeps-wanting-divorce-what-can-i-do#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 22:19:56 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-even-though-i-am-trying-my-best-to-save-my-marriage-my-keeps-wanting-divorce-what-can-i-do Question by : Even though I am trying my best to save my marriage my keeps wanting divorce what can I do?
she wanted to divorce me After my wife caught me cheating on her with my intern. (but in my defense she came back from visiting her mom 2 days earlier she said she would.) about 10 months ago. she wanted to divorce me and kicked me out of the house but after a bit of begging she took me back and we went to couples therapy session(Which was a pile of BS). Anyways 7 days ago she caught me sleeping with my 22 babysitter who usually babysits while I am at work and she does part time. (Once again my wife came home earlier then she said she would.). My marriage is falling apart. Help!! What can I do?

Best answer:

Answer by BVEE
uh you can stop being a man-whore. That might work.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-even-though-i-am-trying-my-best-to-save-my-marriage-my-keeps-wanting-divorce-what-can-i-do/feed 7 Will a public health care option help save marriage? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/will-a-public-health-care-option-help-save-marriage http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/will-a-public-health-care-option-help-save-marriage#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 22:13:02 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/will-a-public-health-care-option-help-save-marriage Question by Forget War Buy More: Will a public health care option help save marriage?
An except from an interesting op-ed:

My friend M. — you’ll understand in a moment why she’s terrified of my using her name — had to make a searing decision a year ago. She was married to a sweet, gentle man whom she loved, but who had become increasingly absent-minded. Finally, he was diagnosed with early-onset dementia.

The disease is degenerative, and he will become steadily less able to care for himself. At some point, as his medical needs multiply, he will probably need to be institutionalized.

The hospital arranged a conference call with a social worker, who outlined how the dementia and its financial toll on the family would progress, and then added, out of the blue: “Maybe you should divorce.”

“I was blown away,” M. told me. But, she said, the hospital staff members explained that they had seen it all before, many times. If M.’s husband required long-term care, the costs would be catastrophic even for a middle-class family with savings.

Eventually, after the expenses whittled away their combined assets, her husband could go on Medicaid — but by then their children’s nest egg would be gone, along with her 401(k) plan. She would face a bleak retirement with neither her husband nor her savings.

(Yes, I recognize that it is NYTimes and some people take exception).

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/opinion/30kristof.html?_r=1

Best answer:

Answer by Justine
Happens more often than you think…spouses, children, etc. Many of them victims of Big Pharma and the FDA approving medication that is dangerous. Then, when something happens, you’re on your own. If you ask for any help, you’re “lazy” “trash” or “welfare seeking.”

Excellent article, and I think that public health care will help take the pressure off of a lot of families. Stress is the #1 cause of illness and disease.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/will-a-public-health-care-option-help-save-marriage/feed 2 My pet fish Lou and his wife want to get a divorce! How can I save their marriage? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/my-pet-fish-lou-and-his-wife-want-to-get-a-divorce-how-can-i-save-their-marriage http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/my-pet-fish-lou-and-his-wife-want-to-get-a-divorce-how-can-i-save-their-marriage#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 20:14:39 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/my-pet-fish-lou-and-his-wife-want-to-get-a-divorce-how-can-i-save-their-marriage Question by none7: My pet fish Lou and his wife want to get a divorce! How can I save their marriage?

Best answer:

Answer by Iggy
Threaten to serve them with fries.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/my-pet-fish-lou-and-his-wife-want-to-get-a-divorce-how-can-i-save-their-marriage/feed 8 Q&A: hacking dads computer to save marriage(is he doing things he shouldn’t be doing)how can i see what hes on ? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-hacking-dads-computer-to-save-marriageis-he-doing-things-he-shouldnt-be-doinghow-can-i-see-what-hes-on http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-hacking-dads-computer-to-save-marriageis-he-doing-things-he-shouldnt-be-doinghow-can-i-see-what-hes-on#comments Sat, 12 May 2012 00:14:03 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-hacking-dads-computer-to-save-marriageis-he-doing-things-he-shouldnt-be-doinghow-can-i-see-what-hes-on Question by furiostic: hacking dads computer to save marriage(is he doing things he shouldn’t be doing)how can i see what hes on ?
oke so my mum and dad are arguing alot mainly dad being a newb oke down to buisness me and mum have both noticed when we go into a room where hes on 1 of his 2 computers he minimizes the page or closes it then loggs off.we dont know his password to any of his 2 computers and he always deletes his history every time before he loggs off.is there any way we can find what hes going on .mum thinks hes having an affair! i hope not

Best answer:

Answer by rpetch007
easy put a camera in the room.. that can see the computers .. when tere on good luck.. he is up to no good ..

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-hacking-dads-computer-to-save-marriageis-he-doing-things-he-shouldnt-be-doinghow-can-i-see-what-hes-on/feed 2 Q&A: Can I save my marriage? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-can-i-save-my-marriage http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-can-i-save-my-marriage#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 18:14:35 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-can-i-save-my-marriage Question by : Can I save my marriage?
my husband of 5 years(been together 10) left 4 days ago. I had recently discovered a relationship he was having with a women (married with 2 kids) from work. He says all they did was talk about being together but haven’t had a physical relationship. He told me the day he left that he didn’t know how he felt about her but that he loved me and didn’t want a divorce, just time to think. The next day he told me that he loved her and hadn’t loved me in years. We have a 22 month old son together. needless to say, I was devastated. My husband always writers me letters every holiday or anniversary and sometimes just because. In these letters he tells me how much I mean to him, that just looking at me makes his day brighter, that God sent me to him, that if he is having a bad day he looks at me and knows that everything will be alright because we are together, etc..He wrote one of the sweetest ones just last month. there are so many other things between us that I won’t bore any one on here with, but what I’m getting at is that I in no way believe that he stopped loving me years ago. i believe that marriage isn’t always perfect and we can let the little things or big problems, like finances, get to us. i also believe that he is infatuated(not in love) with this other woman. I will make no excuses for the cheating. I told him that he must have no contact with this woman and he may have to transfer. I am willing to work through our problems, seek counseling and start to rebuild our trust and save our family. I told him he had three options. he could (A.) tell me that he is sure it is over and wants to proceed with a divorce, (B) tell me that he is sure that he wants to try and work it out, or (C) have a few more days to think about it.i told him this tonight and he told me he needed time to think and that we would talk on Friday. i believe that he will choose divorce, i just couldn’t throw in the towel until i tried to salvage our family. my question is, was i crazy to try to do this or was too much damage done. i feel kind of pathetic. after all, he betrayed me and left. i told him that i didn’t want him back out of guilt or obligation, I only wanted him back if he believed our marriage was worth saving. I’m curious about what others think of this situation
I agree that actions speak louder than words. Like I said , I would not go into every detail but i honestly never doubted that my husbnd was in love with me. I was completely blindsided when all this came down.

Best answer:

Answer by Wisen Smart
My ex used to write letters that would make Shakespeare cry, I learned to only believe in actions, not words nor letters, he turned out to be the biggest bastard walking this earth and a compulsive cheater.

Just move on with your life, hanging on to ghosts is not going to get you anywhere.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-can-i-save-my-marriage/feed 7 Now my husband wants a divorce, what can I do to save my marriage? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/now-my-husband-wants-a-divorce-what-can-i-do-to-save-my-marriage http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/now-my-husband-wants-a-divorce-what-can-i-do-to-save-my-marriage#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 16:26:35 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/now-my-husband-wants-a-divorce-what-can-i-do-to-save-my-marriage Question by : Now my husband wants a divorce, what can I do to save my marriage?
I’ve posted here before about the problem with my new marriage, thanks for all the replies. We’ve tried but things only got worse somehow.
My husband and I got married half a year after we met since we were in love and we wanted to have a life together. I’m 25 and he’s 28, both of us are still in the process of finding the right career and developing ourselves. I wouldn’t say we were so aware of what marriage means or what responsibilities we should take when we got married. Shortly after our marriage we moved to a small rural town for his work, we both hate the place but he needs this job for his career. I basically have been in very bad mood since I went there for many reasons, mainly because the habitat is unbearable for me and I couldn’t find suitable work around(but that is also because I don’t feel the commitment of staying in that place, maytraveledt good at seeing the good in the bad!) Anyway I traveled back to my hometown and stayed there for a few weeks because we were fighting every single day and it really got into us. Then we missed each other around and he needed my help with domestic stuff so I went back but same thing happened again, we set off on good start, promised to do better and we were good for a few days until things went back to where it was last time. Something I need to add is that I tried hard to look for work in that town and in nearby cities but it only turns out I could only find short term work in another city and my husband says he find it tiring to travel to another city nearby to see me every week. I also couldn’t find short term lease in that city so it didn’t seem to be working. Anyway all this frustration from seeking work added a lot of stress on top of me moving to a new habitat that is extremely boring and rural. I admit I didn’t handle that too well and let myself suck into the misery even that I tried to pull myself up a few times. In the meantime, my husband hadn’t been supportive since he says the new job is stressful enough for him and he’s got no energy left to work on domestic life. He has blamed me for being such a drama queen and an unsupportive partner. I know I haven’t done well but I tried, and it was really difficult without his empathy and understanding and I just felt like I couldn’t do better or I wasn’t even willing to try harder(without his support) We’ve communited many times on this and he’s made it clear he can’t do better either for the reason mentioned(no energy to deal with this with the job stress). At the beginning we’ve talked about making plans for the weekends and get out of town etc, but we only did it once or twice in months since he’s too tired for that after a week’s work.
Now I’m back in my hometown again to regain my mood and normal self, also to give it a break. Our relationship has been damaged a lot by what happened and my husband has even been talking about divorce! We’ve only been married for a few months and I love my husband dearly, he’s not perfect but he is a good guy, hardworking,loving, unselfish and ronsponsible, no bad habits or anything. What can I do to save this marriage?

Best answer:

Answer by happywjc
Too much information!
but, here’s the truth about it
why would you want to be with someone who
doesn’t love you,
cut him loose, and
get ready for a new life!

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/now-my-husband-wants-a-divorce-what-can-i-do-to-save-my-marriage/feed 7 Q&A: Advice needed from someone who has been through divorce? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-advice-needed-from-someone-who-has-been-through-divorce http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-advice-needed-from-someone-who-has-been-through-divorce#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 16:26:33 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-advice-needed-from-someone-who-has-been-through-divorce Question by : Advice needed from someone who has been through divorce?
I think I want to leave my husband. I am feeling very confused. Have read lots of advice saying do all you can to save your marriage, but what if I am just unhappy, not feeling myself when I am in the marriage? What if in my heart I feel like I will be happier with someone else? Has anyone ever felt like this and decided to end it, and how did you feel after you did?

Best answer:

Answer by Wendy
First off you should never leave one relationship for another. You are asking for failure that way. But if you are just not happy with yourself and you know your marriage isn’t working then you either work on it or leave. But leave to better yourself, find out just what you want, what you like and dislike, become independent, then work on finding that perfect man for you.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/qa-advice-needed-from-someone-who-has-been-through-divorce/feed 2 What act of faith can my mother perform to help save her marriage? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/what-act-of-faith-can-my-mother-perform-to-help-save-her-marriage http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/what-act-of-faith-can-my-mother-perform-to-help-save-her-marriage#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 02:13:52 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/what-act-of-faith-can-my-mother-perform-to-help-save-her-marriage Question by romantikchik<3: What act of faith can my mother perform to help save her marriage?
My mom and dad are going through a tough time. mom is praying all the time for my dad, who is now staying in an apartment next to my uncle’s home. it’s been about nine months since he left. (after over 25 years of being what I’d call suspiciously one of the worst husbands humanly possible, he finally admitted to had never loved my mom, and is now dating another woman) as i said before, she always keeps him in her prayers and is trying her best to believe God for the restoration of her marriage, but earlier today she asked me a question i couldn’t fully answer. “How can I step out in faith?” We know the bible says that if we say to a mountain, be thou removed and be cast into the sea, not doubting in our hearts, it shall be done….. so i am asking, what act of faith can we try? she is thinking of either planting a garden and burying all the problems of her marriage there, or maybe drawing up an actual mountain being thrown into the sea. in it’s place would be a drawing of a ‘changed heart robed in love and humility’, but neither of those ideas seem the best possible. so please, I’m begging someone, anyone, give us some acts of faith worth trying. and if it’s not too much trouble, please say a prayer for my family. Thanks and God bless you :) :)
p.s. My dad….. was one of the most christian men i knew. In fact, he ‘s the one who converted my mom, my sisters, my brother in law and myself to Christianity! i don’t know what happened to him……. it’s even more confusing because the man still comes by every once in a while and acts like nothing went wrong and wants us to do the same! its shocking that he would do something like this. he is even blind to how far his sin has gone and how far it’s still taking him. He believes that he hasn’t committed adultery, because he’s never slept with the other woman. but he has committed adultery in his heart. and yes, my mother is holding on because she believes that she should not give up on her marriage. something has obviously gone wrong with my dad, and we believe that the Lord still has a plan and is able to work the situation out.

thank you all for your comments, most were helpful.

Best answer:

Answer by Malefor
There’s a process called “renewing your vows”, basically getting married again.

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]]> http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/what-act-of-faith-can-my-mother-perform-to-help-save-her-marriage/feed 12 How to save marriage … Or is it wrong.? http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/how-to-save-marriage-or-is-it-wrong http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/how-to-save-marriage-or-is-it-wrong#comments Fri, 04 May 2012 04:14:20 +0000 http://www.bookmarriagesave.com/save-marriage-book/how-to-save-marriage-or-is-it-wrong Question by theheatheatwave: How to save marriage … Or is it wrong.?
I’ve been married 3 years, no kids yet. (not trying yet, really) I like my husband, and we have a lot of fun together, our personalities are match and we hardly argue at all. He always says he loves me, thinks I’m beautiful that he’s proud of me etc. I do the same for him.

I have been employed part time as a college science prof. For the past two years, before that I did grad school. I really wish I could find a full time post, but it can be hard. I have applied for 5 so far, and I won’t give up. But I have too much free time and it makes me feel useless.

My husband makes about 4 times what I do now, he pays most of the bills, like the mortgage I just pay electric phone Internet and buy food.

He always says we share everything, but only he has access to the savings. I have my own little side account he can put money in or take it out. I make a little money at my part time post… And I live like I’m poor, I just barely buy the groceries, and pay the bills that are my responsibility (as I said he pays the bigger bills) I’m often in danger of an overdraft with just $ 15.00 in my account. If I ask for money he will put a little in, but only enough to cover the expenses… And I hate asking him since he does so much already.

He takes me out from time to time, and it is very strange that I sit at home counting pennies to buy groceries for the meals I cook for us both… But then the next night we have fancy sushi that $ 60 a plate. But that’s my life. All of my clothes are 10 years old, I sell what I can on eBay, I’m poor and rich at the same time.

Recently, I got an extra course to teach and so I had a little more money… For the first time I had enough to buy a new pair of pants for work and some running shoes. But, soon after I told my husband about my raise he started asking me for money. $ 700 to pay for storage for our skidoos… Yes they are ours, but they were his idea… Alone I would not have bought such a thing… And $ 700 is just enough to put me right back where I was… Living in fear of the over draft.

He said he needed the money since he had extra taxes to pay and he did not want to use our savings for that. I gave it to him but I feel like this always happens… When I have a bit of money, something comes up.

Once my mother gave me $ 100 for a gift. I was so happy and I saved it in my wallet, the very next dat he forgot his card when we went out to eat so I had to pay…. That never happens when I’m broke.

It is true that he pays more of our expenses and he is very kind to me, he bought me an iPad, and this will be over when I find my full time job… I hope, but that is taking so long. So many rejections.

He wants to have a kid soon and so do I … But some of these things make me have major questions, he wants me to stay home with the kid, and I would like to do that, but I want him to understand that I need a little money of my own.

I don’t know if I’m selfish or if he is stingy.

Best answer:

Answer by Johnny on the Spot
You should just be happy he’s paying the majority of the larger bills. Yes, it sucks not having extra cash, but it’s nothing to end a marriage over or be unhappy about it. I was homeless once for nine months and am very thankful every time I get to sleep in a bed at night. Imagine having to sleep outside at 4am when it’s 40 degrees outside and all you have is a thin blanket.

You have it pretty good and a new job will come up someday. Don’t sweat this. It’s not a big deal. It sounds like your hubby is a good guy. Going without things can be good for you because when you do have money you’ll live under your means and be able to save. So many people, when they make more money, spend more money. Learn from your situation. Don’t be unhappy about it.

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