<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?><rss xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" version="2.0"><channel><title>Satire from the Borowitz Report</title><description>Satire from The New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz.</description><link>https://www.newyorker.com</link><atom:link href="https://www.newyorker.com/feed/humor/borowitz-report/rss" rel="self" type="application/atom+xml"/><copyright>© Condé Nast 2026</copyright><language>en-US</language><lastBuildDate>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 04:05:33 +0000</lastBuildDate><item><title>George Santos to Spend More Time with Imaginary Family</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/george-santos-to-spend-more-time-with-imaginary-family</link><guid isPermaLink="false">655677139547e2ab0c626c96</guid><pubDate>Thu, 16 Nov 2023 20:59:57 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>The congressman thanked his children for taking care of his many imaginary pets, including a marmot and a python.</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/65567b92179fedd280aaf76c/master/pass/Boro-Santos-11-16-23.jpg" width="2560" height="1707"/></item><item><title>Clarence Thomas Collapses from Exhaustion After First Full Day of Regulating Himself</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/clarence-thomas-collapses-from-exhaustion-after-first-full-day-of-regulating-himself</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6553f1bc25e54787df41ac2d</guid><pubDate>Tue, 14 Nov 2023 23:58:58 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>Other Justices are struggling with the arduous self-regulatory demands of the code of conduct, too.</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/6553fb20459d009440fac0e8/master/pass/BORO-BEDREST-THOMAS.jpg" width="2560" height="1707"/></item><item><title>Nation Terrified That Mike Johnson Is the Adult in the Room</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-terrified-that-mike-johnson-is-the-adult-in-the-room</link><guid isPermaLink="false">655271cd55618362f80a401e</guid><pubDate>Mon, 13 Nov 2023 19:34:28 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>Americans wondered what sort of adult would deny the outcome of a legitimate election and believe the separation of church and state is a myth.</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/6552775f8768b8e59690811e/master/pass/Boro-Mike-Johnson-11-13-23.jpg" width="2560" height="1698"/></item><item><title>Ivanka Unable to Remember Name of Her Father</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ivanka-unable-to-remember-name-of-her-father</link><guid isPermaLink="false">654cfbb32c7f33fde216b3b6</guid><pubDate>Thu, 09 Nov 2023 16:07:13 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>Responding to a question about Donald Trump’s business dealings, Ms. Trump said, “I’m sorry. I’m not familiar with that person.”</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/654cff9e815a66310764db81/master/pass/Boro-Ivanka-Trump-Testimony-Site.jpg" width="2560" height="1707"/></item><item><title>Furious Ohio Republicans Report Widespread Incidents of Women Voting</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/furious-ohio-republicans-report-widespread-incidents-of-women-voting</link><guid isPermaLink="false">654ba36a9755394203183670</guid><pubDate>Wed, 08 Nov 2023 16:06:24 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>“Many of our poll workers spotted women going into voting booths and literally casting votes,” a G.O.P. operative in Lake County said.</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/654bab7f59ebcb5fd480dfc0/master/pass/Boro-Ohio-11-08-23.jpg" width="2560" height="1706"/></item><item><title>Ginni Thomas Says Mike Johnson’s Wife Seems a Little Crazy</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ginni-thomas-says-mike-johnsons-wife-seems-a-little-crazy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6542966275635ded66f50635</guid><pubDate>Wed, 01 Nov 2023 18:58:56 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>“Someone has to tell her to dial it back a smidge,” Thomas said, of the wife of the new Speaker of the House.</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/65429d1b35570d74bd3ef1b4/master/pass/Boro-Ginni-Thomas-11-01-23.jpg" width="2284" height="1520"/></item><item><title>Mike Pence Returns Four Dollars to Donors</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/mike-pence-returns-four-dollars-to-donors</link><guid isPermaLink="false">653febfb4ce592daa8951349</guid><pubDate>Mon, 30 Oct 2023 18:05:39 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>The former Vice-President told reporters he took pride in the fact that his campaign has been funded exclusively by small contributions.</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/653fe9d64ce592daa8951348/master/pass/Boro-Pence-10-30-23.jpg" width="3242" height="1934"/></item><item><title>Johnson Promises to Be Greatest Speaker of the Seventeenth Century</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/johnson-promises-to-be-greatest-speaker-of-the-seventeenth-century</link><guid isPermaLink="false">653985a76665bcf20540ddc9</guid><pubDate>Wed, 25 Oct 2023 21:35:20 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>“For years, time travel was the stuff of science fiction,” the newly elected Speaker said. “Now, as I take this majestic nation back four hundred years, I will make that dream a reality.”</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/65398561a1912050e0e2e755/master/pass/boro-mike%20johnson.jpg" width="2560" height="1706"/></item><item><title>George Santos Declares Jim Jordan’s Identity Not Worth Stealing</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/george-santos-declares-jim-jordans-identity-not-worth-stealing</link><guid isPermaLink="false">652ee36b3a3145a87e5135c2</guid><pubDate>Tue, 17 Oct 2023 20:14:11 +0000</pubDate><media:content/><description>The New York representative told his colleagues, “I would be embarrassed to use any credit card with Jim Jordan’s name on it.”</description><category>Humor / Satire from The Borowitz Report</category><category>Humor</category><dc:creator>Andy Borowitz</dc:creator><dc:publisher>Condé Nast</dc:publisher><media:thumbnail url="https://media.newyorker.com/photos/652ee5eda2f5fe5a23a6a841/master/pass/Boro-Santos-10-17-23.jpg" width="2560" height="1822"/></item><item><title>Jim Jordan’s Speaker Bid in Jeopardy After He Accidentally Locks Himself in Bathroom</title><link>https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/jim-jordans-speaker-bid-in-jeopardy-after-he-accidentally-locks-himself-in-bathroom</link><guid 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