We don’t know how to enjoy life anymore. 

Why?  We have so many hang-ups, so many issues, so many worries, so many fears, so many burdens…

We have lost the art of enjoying life, of playing with small children, of conversing with a friend, of holding hands with a loved one, of smelling the flowers, of gazing at the stars, of singing in the shower, of dancing in the rain, of sucking deeply the bone marrow of life!

Let me tell you why people have a hard time doing these…

The Bottomless Pit Of Worthlessness

Deep inside us is a bottomless pit of worthlessness.  (In the Philippines, the only time we hear the word bottomless is connected with Iced Tea.  You can drink 16 glasses and the waiter will still keep on pouring.  It’s endless.)  Deep down, we feel a nagging sense of inadequacy.  We feel there’s something lacking in us.  We feel that we’ve been measured and we’ve been found wanting.

You’ll see this everywhere you look.  People are walking around carrying this bottomless pit of worthlessness inside them, and they’re looking for ways to fill this pit.  And many people try to solve their worthlessness with three things: Work, Wealth, and Warmth. 

Work: To fill this bottomless pit of worthlessness, some people work endlessly.  They work in a frenzied pace.  They work and forget their families and health and spiritual life.

Wealth: Others try to solve their worthlessness with wealth, filling their lives with material things.  Cars.  Gizmos.  Houses.  Brands.

Warmth: Others try to solve their worthlessness with warmth, getting people to like them no matter what the cost, making them people-pleasers and approval-addicts.  They become co-dependents, trapped in enmeshed relationships.  They lose their identity and have no boundaries.

Please know that Work, Wealth, and Warmth are wonderful things.  They’re gifts from God.  But they can NEVER fill up your bottomless pit of worthlessness.

John Had Everything And Yet…

I read a true story about a student named John who never had a grade lower than A in his entire 4-years in college.   And John was about to graduate summa cum laude.  But before graduating, the unthinkable happened: John killed himself. 

This shocked the entire college.  How could he do that?

John left a suicide note.  In that note, he wrote, “I just couldn’t measure up to the standards of this world, perhaps in the next world I can do better.”

Why?  This is the bottomless pit of worthlessness within him speaking. 

What’s The Song You Hear In Your Head?

Believe me, I’ve met a lot of people who are plagued by this pervasive feeling of inadequacy.  Inwardly, they hear the constant refrain, “There’s something wrong with you…” like a permanent LSS.  (If LSS to you means Life in the Spirit Seminar, then that means you’re my age.  LSS means Last-Song-Syndrome.)

Subconsciously, they feel they can never measure-up to these standards.  They’ll never be beautiful enough.  They’ll never be rich enough.  They’ll never be successful enough.  They’ll never be happy enough.  They’ll never be holy enough.

Some of these people feel that no matter what they do, they’ll never be a great husband, or a great wife, or a great father, or a great mother.

This nagging feeling of inadequacy is the air that they breathe.  It colors the way they look at themselves, the way they look at life, the way they look at the world.

I compare these people to a donkey…

1. Racing Donkey

Donkeys are stubborn.  To make a donkey walk, all you have to do is dangle a juice, crunchy, red-orange carrot one foot away from its nose.  The donkey sees it, smells it, seeks it, and off it goes, chasing after the carrot.

But he never can catch it.  The donkey moves forward but the carrot moves forward too.  Perplexed, he takes another step.  But the carrot takes another step too.  As the donkey moves faster, the carrot moves faster too. 

That is a perfect picture of many people today. 

I’ve been doing ministry for 30+ years.  I’ve talked to thousands of people all over the world.  Believe me, most people are like that donkey.  We’re looking for our “carrot”, something to fill our bottomless pit of worthlessness.

But we can never chase it.

If Work, Wealth, and Warmth can never fill your bottomless pit of worthlessness, let me tell you the only thing that can.

But first, let me tell you about the second donkey…

2. Relaxed Donkey

This second donkey is a relaxed donkey.

Why?  He has discovered that the carrot he was chasing was all the while with him.  He was carrying it along! 

Once he realized this, he relaxes.

So let me tell you now the only thing that can fill up your bottomless pit of worthlessness.

The only solution to worthlessness is Worth. 

I can hear your reaction: “Bo, you’re nuts.  Of course, worth is the solution to worthlessness.  But how do you get that worth?”

That’s my point.  You don’t get worth. 

You already have it.

By the mere fact that you exist.  By the fact that you’re alive.  By the fact that you were created by God, you’re somebody!  You’re special. You’re a treasure. You’re precious.  You’re His masterpiece.  You’re the crown of His creation.  You’re His child.  You’re His Prince and Princess.  You’re His the love of His life. 

You’re like the donkey chasing after a carrot that you’ve been carrying all along.

I repeat: You need some work to be happy.  You need a level of wealth to be happy.  You need a degree of warmth and relationships to be happy.  But here’s my point: Even before you work, or get wealth, or get warmth—you’re already a person of GREAT worth.

Here’s the truth.  There is no such thing as a bottomless pit of worthlessness.  It’s an illusion.  What you think is a bottomless pit of worthless is actually a bottomless pit of WORTH!  Because you already possess the intrinsic worth imputed by God to your soul.

Make This Discovery And You’ll Relax

This is true happiness: When you discover that what you’ve been looking for—searching in distant lands and faraway planets—was actually in your heart all along!

I repeat.  The bottomless pit of worthlessness is fake.  It’s not true.  Because you’re a human being, a child of God, created in His image, you are a bottomless pit of great worth.

This is an incredible discovery.  Unless you make this life-changing discovery, you’ll never enjoy true peace in your soul.  You’ll never have true rest, true contentment, true happiness in your life.  You’ll always be searching, seeking, looking, and longing for something.  You’ll always be trying to fill the emptiness of your heart with stuff: New clothes.  Jewelery.  Popularity.  Money.  Achievements.  Fans. 

Here’s the truth: Everything you want is already within you.

You might say, “Bo, that’s not true.  I don’t have what I want.  What I want right now is a new job,” or “a new house,” or “a new boyfriend” or “a new sexy body.”

But why do you want what you want?  Why do you want that new job, or new house, or new boyfriend, or new sexy body?

If you search deeply within your soul, you’ll realize you want that thing because you think that that thing will increase your worth.

But there’s only one thing that you increase your worth.

That one thing is love.

Bottomline, you want love.  Love is your biggest, deepest, greatest need.  And you have all the love you need.  God is within you.  And the Bible says that God is love.  So let me repeat—everything that you want is already within you.  

Because right now, you’re already loved.

Performance-Based Parenting

But where does this bottomless pit of worthlessness come from?

Simple Answer: From parents. 

Obviously, the answer is more complicated than that. There are many reasons. But for many people (not all), this is where our feelings of inadequacy come from.

How?  Parents raise their kids by “Performance-Based Parenting.” What in the world is that? 

Performance-Based Parenting is when the core message to their kids is, “I will love you only if you perform.  I will be proud of you only if you perform.  Your value and worth are based on your performance.  If you don’t perform, I will think less of you.  If you don’t perform, I will love you less.”

I’ve met a lot of parents who are like this.  They want their kids to solve math problems by 2, play the piano by 3, write computer programs by 5, and pass the medical school by 12.  They force their kids to enrol in painting class, swimming class, gymnastics class, Mandarin class, and violin class all at the same time.

These parents go ballistic when their kids fail an exam.  They go hyper when their kids have catsup on their shirt. 

Another sign that your parenting is Performance-Based?  If the most common line you say when you’re angry at your kids is, “You embarrass me!  What will others say if they see you fail? If you’re a bad child, they’ll say I’m a bad parent!”

Parents Pass On Their
Bottomless Pit Of Worthlessness

Fact: These parents want their kids to perform because they want to perform as parents.  Kids that are racing donkeys have parents who are also racing donkeys. Kids have a bottomless pit of worthlessness because their parents have one too.  In fact, they merely inherited it from them.  (And guess where these parents got their bottomless pit of worthlessness?  From their parents too.)

Hey, I’m not saying that parents shouldn’t encourage their kids to excel or to reach their full potential or to work hard.  We should!

But our core message to our kids should be, “I love you for being you.  I’m happy you’re you.  Before you do anything good, you’re already a fantastic person.  I’m already proud of you.  I encourage you to give your best NOT to win my love for you.  That’s a done deal.  You already have my love.  I want you to give your best as a way of loving yourself and being who you truly are.”

If you have a kid, let me give you a very important tip…

Say “I Love You” At Odd And Unexpected Times

I love telling my kids “I love you” all the time.  But I see to it that I don’t say those words after they “perform”.  (I say other words like “That’s a nice drawing,” or “You sang so well,” or “You did great…”)   But I say “I love you” to them in the most odd and unexpected times.  Sometimes, when we’re in bed, about to sleep, I tell them, “Do you know how much I love you?” Or when we’re taking our morning walk, I squeeze his little hand and say, “I’m so proud that you’re my son.”

The opposite of Performance-Based Parenting is Presence-Based Parenting.  My love for them isn’t connected to their Performance but to their Presence.  By the mere fact that they’re my kids, that they’re alive, that they exist, that they’re created by God, they’re worthy of my love.

Let me clarify.  Parents should teach their kids to love hard work.  But to work hard not out of fear of worthlessness but out of love for one’s intrinsic worth.

By the way, religious leaders are parents too.  Sadly, some religious leaders use “Performance-Based Parenting” too…

Skewed Religiosity

Religion can worsen this feeling of inadequacy.  Religion can worsen your bottomless pit of worthlessness.

I know.  I’ve been a religious leader for thirty plus years.  And I have a confession to make.  In the first decade of leading my little group, Light of Jesus, I had a very skewed spirituality.  I was uptight, rigid, legalistic, and judgmental.

I never realized that my image of God was also uptight, rigid, legalistic, and judgmental.  (Truth: We relate to others according to our image of God.  Because we become the God that we worship.)

My life revolved around trying to fulfil very high spiritual expectations to gain God’s approval.  Such as praying one hour a day, and reading the Bible one hour a day, and going to Mass everyday, and praying the Rosary everyday, etcetera…  The list was endless.

Years later, I realized I had a “Performance-Based” spirituality.  To feel worthy of God’s love, I had to do no sin, think only pure thoughts, be a good boy, and do my religious obligations…. 

If I failed any of these stringent requirements I set for myself, I felt God was shaking His head in disgust at me.

Learning To Relax In God’s Love 

But for years, the real God was gently knocking into my heart.  And He kept telling me, “No need to perform.  Just relax in my love.”  The radical idea was so foreign to me, I wondered if this was God at all.  How dare He tell me to relax?  How dare He say I was worthy of love even before I do anything good?

Slowly, I began to realize that God wasn’t uptight.  Or rigid.  Or legalistic.  Or judgmental.

After three decades, I’m still learning how to relax in His love.

I’m still learning to follow God when He said, Be still, and know that I am God.  (Psalms 46:10)

Here’s my unauthorized translation of this verse: God is saying, “Relax in my love you.  You don’t need to impress me with your performance.  I love you as you are.  I believe in you.  You’re a wonderful person.”

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

PS. For Those Serious In Starting Their Own Business… If you want to become an Entrepreneur, join my Business Mentor Dean Pax Lapid for theTrulyRich Entrepreneur’s Workshop on July 14 and 28, 2012.  It’s the best training I’ve ever seen.  We only accept 49 students.  To reserve your seat, click here now.

The road to success isn’t a straight road. It has many twists, turns, and zigzags. With lots of detours.

Today, I’d like to talk about the Principle of Obliquity.  

Don’t be afraid of that word. What in the world is Obliquity?  Obliquity is the state of being oblique. (Are you sometimes blown away by my genius?)

Let me share with you how obliquity works: A Detour can bring you to a Bigger Destiny.

When it comes to Detours, the first guy that comes to my mind is Joseph…

Joseph’s Dream Becomes A Detour

When he was 17 years old, this brash teenager appeared in one family dinner and announced, “Hi Dad! Hi Mom! Hi Brother One, and Brother Two, and Brother Three, and Brother Four, and Brother Five…” He had eleven brothers. After greeting all of them, he cleared his throat and said, “Last night, I had a dream.  I saw all of you bowing low to me. Gee, isn’t that strange? But well, if this is my destiny, I might as well get used to it… Brother One, can you make me some iced tea? Brother Two, can you fan me while I eat? You guys might as well get used to serving me…”

In other words, Joseph was telling them, “One day, I’m going to lead you guys. I’ll be governor of the family business.” 

You can imagine how his older brothers reacted. I’m sure they didn’t say, “We’re so happy that you now know what you want to do in life. Bravo!”

No. They were so angry, the Bible says they threw him into a pit. While in that dark hole, freezing and hungry, Joseph was probably praying, “Lord, this looks like a wrong step in my career path.”

It would get worse. The next day, his brothers sold him to the Midianite Traders for 20 pieces of silver—and these Traders sold him as a slave to an Egyptian named Potiphar.   So from a son, he becomes a slave. Can you imagine how far this was to his dream?

His troubles weren’t over. Mrs. Potiphar wanted to be close to him. Very close. Being a person of integrity, he said “No” to her repeated seductions. One day, in some dark corner of the house, she grabbed him by the collar and said, “Bakit ngayon ka lang
Bakit ngayon kung kailan ang aking puso’y, Mayron nang laman…  (Why did you come only now when my heart is already filled…”)

And he said, “Tukso, layuan ako…” (Temptation, depart from me…) and he ran away—leaving his shirt behind. Spurned by his rejection, she shouted, “Rape!”

And poor Joseph was thrown into prison. 

So from son, to slave, to prisoner!   His life was getting worse by the day. He was getting farther and farther from his desired destiny.

While in prison, he met two other prisoners—the baker and a butler of Pharaoh—had a dream that bothered them. They asked Joseph to interpret their dreams, and he did.   Joseph said to the baker, “I’m so sorry, in three days, you’ll be hanged.” And that was what happened. Joseph said to the royal cupbearer, “In three days, you’ll be reinstated to your former position.” He then said, “When you’re back working in the palace pouring martini’s for Pharaoh, can you appeal my case to your Boss?” The cupbearer promised—but he totally forgot about Joseph.

Joseph had to stay in the prison for 2 more years.

Joseph’s Detour Led To A Bigger Destiny

But one day, the Pharaoh had two very disturbing dreams. And all his wise men couldn’t interpret them. That was when the Cupbearer remembered Joseph. He mentioned this to Pharaoh.   And so Joseph was summoned from prison. 

He interpreted Pharaoh’s dream. He said, “Pharaoh, there will be 7 years of plenty and 7 years of famine. During the 7 years of plenty, I suggest you start setting aside 20% of the produce of the land and invest it in the Stock Market and Mutual Funds for the 7 years of famine.” His advice wasn’t that detailed, but you get the picture. Pharaoh liked his advice so much, he appointed Joseph as Governor of the entire country.

Many years ago, Joseph wanted to simply be the governor of his family. But God had a Bigger Destiny for him. He wanted him to be Governor of Egypt. That’s why God allowed a detour, because this detour led him to his Bigger Destiny. 

I’ve seen the Principle of Obliquity work in the lives of almost all the successful people I know.

Right now, you may be in a difficult time in your life. Maybe the job that you wanted wasn’t given to you. Or the man that you wanted to marry walked out of your life. Or your plans to go abroad went up in smoke. Or you failed in a Board Exam. Or your business is losing money.

I’ve got news for you: You’re in a Detour. Gigantic obstacles have appeared between you and your desired destiny. You may feel like your life is getting worse by the day. You may feel farther from your destiny today than you were yesterday. 

Why is God allowing this? Because He wants to tell you, “Your dreams are too small. Your goals are too puny. Your ambitions are too tiny. I’ve got a bigger Destiny for you!” God is telling you, “I’ve got a better job for you,” and “I’ve got a better man for your life,” and “I’ve got a better future in store for you that you want right now.”

Here’s an illustration of Joseph’s Journey…

This is what I mean by the Principle of Obliquity.

When he was already governor of Egypt, his brothers came to ask for food and for forgiveness. Joseph told them, You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Genesis 50:20)

Perhaps you have enemies today. Believe that what your enemies intended for harm, God will use it to bless you more!

Detours Led To Their Bigger Destiny

       Let me give you examples of Detours that happen to three people and how these Detours led them to their bigger Destiny…

1. Steve Jobs

When he was 21 years old, Steve Jobs founded Apple in his garage. After a few years, Apple became a very successful computer company.

But 9 years later, his own Board of Directors booted him out from Apple. Perhaps you’re wondering, “How in the world can the Founder of a company be fired from his own company?” But that was what happened to Steve Jobs. Talk about a gigantic Detour! Suddenly, all his dreams crashed to oblivion.

But while Steve was away from Apple, many things happened in his life that prepared him for his comeback.  Twelve years later, Apple hired Steve Jobs again. And he made Apple even bigger and better than ever.   (Just to give you an idea, when Steve came back in 1987, Apple Stock was worth $4 per share. Last week, Apple was $610 per share.) Today, Apple, in terms of market capitalization,is the most valuable company in the world.

About his Detour, Steve Jobs said: “I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

Have you also been fired? Have you been rejected? Has a door closed in front of you? Don’t be discouraged. You’re in a Detour.  Believe that God is preparing you for a bigger door!

2. Col. Sanders

Harland David “Colonel” Sanders owned a regular restaurant.

       But one day, a literal “Detour” came into his life. The government built a huge highway that made everyone bypass his restaurant. And he was forced to close it down.

       This happened when he was 66 years old. Because of closing down his restaurant, he became broke, living from one social security check to another. His monthly check? $104.

       If you were 66-years old, and your cherished dream of owning your own restaurant goes up in smoke—what would you do?

       The only thing Col. Sanders had in his hands was his chicken recipe. So he went from one restaurant to another, knocking door to door, offering his chicken recipe in exchange for a little royalty for every chicken sold.

Guess what happened? They said “No!” In many places, he was thrown out. How dare he offer his chicken recipe? Their chicken recipe was better.

Do you know how many restaurants rejected his offer? 1009.

If I was Col. Sanders, I don’t think I would have lasted beyond 50. If I received 50 rejections, I would have just given up and retired a retire—living in my small house, collecting my social pension checks every month.

But Col. Sanders didn’t. True enough, one restaurant said “Yes”. And Kentucky Fried Chicken was born. Nine years later, when he was 75 years old, there were 5000+ restaurants that were using his recipe and ordering sauces from him.

Imagine if that Detour didn’t happen. Imagine if that highway wasn’t built that detoured all the customers of Col. Sanders away from his restaurant. Perhaps he’d still be managing one restaurant, perhaps two, perhaps three. But because of that Detour, KFC today has 20,000 branches around the world.

Here’s the truth: Small Dreams will have to die so that Bigger Dreams will come true. If Small Dreams don’t die, you won’t even think of the Bigger Dreams.

Finally…

3. St. Alphonsus Ligouri

       Alphonsus Ligouri was a brilliant young lawyer.   He was such a good lawyer that for 8 straight years, he won in all his cases. 

       But one day, when he was 27 years old, he lost one case because of a simple error he made. He misread a document—and he was totally humiliated in court.

But that was the Detour that God used. When he was very depressed at what happened, that was when he heard a call from God. He left his profession and joined the seminary. Three years later, Alphonsus was ordained a priest. Years later, he formed the Redemptorist Congregation and became a Bishop.

       Are you going through total humiliation today? Don’t give up. This is a Detour that will lead to a bigger Destiny for your life.

A Detour Can Be The Road To Your Bigger Destiny

If You Do Two Things…

Let me teach you how to make your Detour bring you to your Bigger Destiny. To move from slave to prisoner to governor, Joseph did two powerful things…

1. Remain Faithful

No matter what happened, Joseph remained faithful to God. 

No matter how deep the pit or how dark the prison, he just kept doing the right thing.

For example, when Joseph was a slave working in Potiphar’s house, Joseph could have said, “I don’t deserve to be a slave. What a crummy life! This is so unfair!” And he could have just acted in a lousy way. But that’s not what he did. Joseph said, “I’ll be the great slave in the world!” He did such an excellent job as a slave—Potiphar appointed him Mayor Domo—head of all the other household servants. 

When Potiphar’s wife wanted him, Joseph could have said, “Oh, what the heck. Life is unfair anyway. I might as well have a little fun…” But he didn’t do that. He said no to sin.

When he was thrown in prison for a crime he did not do, Joseph could have just thrown in the towel and say, “The hell with life! The hell with being good.” But he didn’t do that. He said, “I’ll be the greatest prisoner in the world.” No matter what happened, he just kept doing the right thing. He was such a good prisoner, the Prison Warden appointed him to be the prison’s Mayor too, to manage the other prisoners.

Joseph bloomed wherever he was planted.  If you want to be successful, you too need to bloom wherever you are planted.

Wherever you are right now, remain faithful. Always give your best. You may not be in the right job, you may not have the right tools, you may not be in the right place, you may not be with the right people—but do the right thing anyway—and God Himself will give you the right reward.

Think about it. Where did Joseph learn to manage a country? He took up management 101 in a prison. Before he managed the country, he managed fellow-slaves and fellow-prisoners.

That’s why the Bible says, Yes, you will suffer for a short time. But after that, God will make everything right. (1 Peter 5:10)

       However, Joseph wasn’t passive. Yes, he was being abused, but he kept looking for an opportunity to get out of the abuse.

2. Remain Open

As you walk through a Detour, believe me, there will be wonderful opportunities that will appear before you. Opportunities to leapfrog to your success. The reason why a lot of people don’t see the opportunities is because opportunities come dressed as responsibilities.

Look at Joseph. When Potiphar asked him to take responsibility over his household, he said Yes. When the Prison Warden asked him to take responsibility over the entire prison, he said Yes. When Pharaoh asked him to take responsibility over the entire country, he said Yes.

But some people are allergic to responsibilities. And these same people will complain why they don’t receive more blessings. Here’s the Truth: If you want more blessings, you’ve got to want more responsibilities. Blessings and responsibilities are two sides of the same coin. 

Let me give you an example. Why do Managers earn more than Messengers?   Because Managers have more responsibilities than Messengers. 

No Matter How Long Your Detour Is…

By the way, do you know how long this circuitous Detour was in the life of Joseph? He became a slave when he was 17 years old. He became a Governor of Egypt when he was 30 years old. He was in Detour territory for 13 long years.

Perhaps you too have been waiting for a long time, seeming trapped in your Detour.

Here’s my final word to you: No matter how long, remain faithful and remain open, and one day, you’ll see your bigger Destiny become your reality.

       May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. Learn How To Earn Through Larry Gamboa’s Real Estate System. My friend and Real Estate Mentor Larry Gamboa is giving a Seminar on how he buys foreclosed properties or properties from “motivated sellers” and turn them around into rental properties or quick sales. If you’re interested to learn his system, click here now!

PS2. Attention Singles: My friend Rissa found her one true love when she was 38 years old. I interviewed her and was very inspired. If you’re single, eavesdrop on my interview and be inspired too, click here now!

       Honestly, I don’t exactly rejoice when I run into problems.  I don’t say, “Oh goodie, my kids are sick!” or “Yabadabadoo, I just had a car accident!”

       But perhaps God isn’t telling me to rejoice because of the problem. Instead, God is telling me to rejoice because of the purpose of the problem.

       I believe problems have many purposes. And I believe the most important purpose of problems is to shape our Character.

After 30+ years of following God, I’ve come to a very BIG and very DISTURBING realization. (Warning: You won’t like what I’m going to say.) I’ve come to realize that God values my Character more than my Comfort.

       Ouch…

Yes, God Values Your Character More Than Your Comfort

       I wish it ain’t so. 

I wish His first priority was my comfort. I wish His first priority was to solve my problems.

       Hey, don’t get me wrong. I believe He cares for you when you’re sick. He cares for you when you can’t pay your bills. He cares for you when you’re broken hearted. He cares for you when you worry about your future.

All those things are important to Him, but His first priority is to shape your Character.

I understand this.

Because I’m a father of two boys. As their Dad, I’ve got a lot of wishes for them. I want them to be handsome, but that’s already a done deal because of genetics. (They take from their mother.) I want them to be healthy; I want them to be wealthy; But more than healthy and wealthy, I want them to be godly. Because if they’re not godly, they won’t be happy.

More than anything else, as a father, I want them to be loving, faithful, humble, honest, selfless…

God is a Father too. I repeat: He values your Character more than your Comfort. Your soul more than your body. Your eternal life more than your physical life.

Because in your death, you’ll leave behind your comfort, your career, your cars, your clothes, your cash,… The only thing you’ll bring to Heaven is your Character. 

3 Things That A Crisis Does To Your Character

       A Crisis has three unique effects on your Character. So unique, very few things in this world can do these three things.

1. A Crisis Diagnoses Your Character

You’ll know what kind of Character you have not when everything is rosy, fine, and dandy. Not when the sun is shining. Not when all your plans go smoothly. Not when everyone likes you.

You’ll know what kind of Character you have when your dreams are delayed, when your trials abound, and when your obstacles multiply.

Let me give you an analogy: Your character is like a tea bag.

You won’t know if a tea bag is any good just by looking at it. Or smelling it. Or feeling it in your hand. You’ll only know if a teabag is good if you dunk it in hot water. So let me ask you a question: How do you act when you get dunked in hot water?

Character is how you behave when life is very far from what how you imagined it to be. Character is how you behave when everything is totally going wrong and you’re being attacked by problems at every side.

How do you react when trials come? When people criticize you? When friends betray you? When others don’t believe you? When you have no money to pay your bills? When your kids are going astray? When a family member has cancer?

       Amidst the trials, will you remain faithful? 

Will you remain loving?  

Will you remain patient? 

Will you remain kind?

The Bible says, When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. (James 1:2-3)

      A Crisis diagnoses your Character. But it only doesn’t diagnose…

2. A Crisis Develops Your Character

       Imagine Jaime, a 4-year old boy wandering into the kitchen.

       While there, he sees a frying pan filled with yummy French fries. As he walks near it, his mother sees him and says, “Don’t you dare touch that pan. It will burn you!” So the little boy walks away, pouting that he didn’t get to do what he wanted to do.

       The next day, he’s in the kitchen again. And he sees the frying pan with a new batch of French fries in it. He smells the delicious aroma of newly cooked potatoes. He looks around and doesn’t see his Mom. In his little mind, he thinks, “No Mom, No Rules!” 

He touches it. And instantly, the house is filled with a piercing shriek, “Mommeeeeeeeeee!”

Flash-forward a few minutes later: The mother is holding her little boy’s hand under running water. He continues to cry because the burn still stings. And he will never forget the lesson for the rest of his life.

Trials are like that. They burn. But they burn for a reason: To teach us lessons we’ll never forget for the rest of our life.   I agree when Proverbs 20:30 says, Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.

Here’s a law of this universe: Tests are repeated until the lesson is learned.

Little Jaime’s little hand will get burned again and again if he doesn’t learn his lesson. The hot pan doesn’t care how many little hands it will burn. The hot pan is a relentless, tireless teacher.

My strong recommendation? Learn the lesson as quickly as you can. When it comes to lessons from trials, be a sponge. Soak it in. Don’t be hard headed. 

And there’s even a better way of learning…

Priceless Tip:

Try To Get The Teaching Without The Trial

4-year old Jaime has a 3-year old sister named Antonia. And Antonia saw her brother cry in pain for thirty long minutes. She heard the wailing. She saw the red burn in his little hand. Somehow, she felt the pain he was feeling.

A few weeks later, Antonia was playing in the neighbour’s house. While there, she wanders into the kitchen because she smelled macaroni and cheese. And there it was on a hot frying pan on top of the kitchen table.

She looks at it and remembers the painful scenes two weeks ago. She remembers the agony of her brother Jaime. No matter how delicious it looked, she doesn’t touch it. Instead, she calls someone to give her some macaroni and cheese.

We need to be as wise as little Antonia: Try to get the teaching without the trial. All you have to do is to relive their suffering. To hear their cry. To feel their pain.To listen to their stories. 

I love listening to people’s stories. I love talking to successful people and asking them, “What made you successful?” But I also love talking to people who failed and asking them, “What made you fail?” I learn so much.

Finally, there’s a third thing that a Crisis does to your Character…

3. A Crisis Defends Your Character

       If you’re brave enough, I want you to do a 3-phase experiment at home. (Warning: Be prepared to be wet and dirty.)

Phase One is simple. First, catch a frog from your backyard. A real, slimy, green frog. (I told you it’s going to be wet and dirty.)

Second, boil a kettle of water. Once the water hits boiling point, drop the frog into the kettle. 

You’ll observe that the frog will not like what you just did. He won’t be pleased. He’ll jump out of the kettle with superfrog strength. Because of this traumatic experience, he may experience a nervous breakdown, but if you provide adequate psychotherapy, he’ll get over it.

Phase Two is more interesting. 

First, catch the frog that’s jumping around your kitchen. Tell him that psychotherapy will have to wait as he is needed for another experiment.

Second, get another kettle and fill it with tap water—and drop the frog into the kettle.

You’ll notice that Mr. Kermit won’t jump out the way it did in Phase One. In fact, you’ll observe that the frog is relaxed, doing gentle breaststrokes in the water.

Next, place the kettle on your cooking range and start a low fire—the minimum heat possible.

You’ll observe that the frog won’t even notice.  In fact, you made him even more comfortable. He starts doing backstrokes. If you listen close enough, you may hear the frog whistling the tune of My Heart Goes On by Celine Dion.

And soon, it closes its eyes, dozes off, and in a few minutes—as the water is steaming hot, you realize that you no longer have to pay for frog psychotherapy because the frog is dead.  

Here’s Phase 3…

Throw in some chopped carrots, and you have something to eat for dinner.

What’s my point? 

Sometimes, a crisis is good because it wallops you. It shocks you. It wakes you up. It burns your hand and you scream, “Mommeeeeeeeeee!”

But perhaps that’s the point! So that you won’t end up as dinner soup.

Difficulties Keep You Away From Danger

       Honestly, I wish I never went through my problems. I wish everything went my way. 

       I wish I was never molested as a child.

       I wish my wife never lost her three babies via miscarriage.

       I wish I didn’t have to go through each day with leadership burdens on my shoulder.

But looking back, I thank God for my trials! Because I’ve noticed that every trial that I went through made me cry out to God, “Mommeeeeeeeeee!” 

When you know that only God can save you, it keeps you humble. It removes your pride. It pushes you to seek God.

About problems, the Bible says, It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws. (Psalm 119:71-72)

Let me tell you one of my favorite stories…

What Kind Of Scars Do You Have?

       One day, a mother and her little boy went to the farm.

       Through the kitchen window, she saw her little boy dive into the lake behind the house. It was such a glorious sight, just seeing her son swim through the water.

       Suddenly, she screamed in terror. For from the opposite direction, something was also swimming to her boy’s direction—and he didn’t know. It was an alligator!

       She ran out to him, all the while shouting to the top of her lungs, “Get out of the lake! There’s an alligator!”

       The little boy saw the oncoming alligator. He turned around and started swimming back as fast as he could.

       When he touched land, two things happened at the same time. The mother grabbed his arms but the alligator sunk its sharp teeth on his legs. What happened next was a tug-o-war between his mother and the beast. The alligator was very strong, but so was his mother’s love. She simply wouldn’t let go.

       A few minutes later, a man who was driving in his truck saw what was happening. Moving quickly, he got out of his truck, grabbed his rifle, and shot the alligator.

       A couple of weeks later, the little boy was in the hospital recuperating from his wounds. A journalist entered his room, wanting to interview him.

       After a few questions, she asked, “Would you mind if we get a photo of your wounds?”

       “Sure,” the little boy said. “I have two wounds. Which ones do you want to photograph?”

       The journalist didn’t understand. “What do you mean?”

       The little boy removed his blanket and exposed his scarred legs. “These are the scars from the alligator’s teeth.” His legs were covered with ugly puncture wounds.

       He then said, “But my other wounds—that’s what I’m proud of. He exposed his arms, and showed off the ugly scars of his mother’s fingernails that dug deep into his skin. “I love these scars because they represent my mother’s love.   The reason why I have these scars is because my mother would not let go of me.”

       Friend, if you look into your life, you’ll find that you too have these scars. They come from a God that held on to you and wouldn’t let go. Were it not for those scars, you would have been swallowed up by the enemy.

       Perhaps you didn’t get that job you prayed for. Perhaps you didn’t get the guy you wanted. Perhaps you didn’t get the project you worked for. God sees the future.  He saw that if you got what you wanted, you would be swallowed up by the enemy. So He pulled you back. You got hurt. You got denied. You got rejected. Yes, you have scars—but these are scars of God’s Love for you!

       Trials have a way of bringing you closer to God.

       Dear friend, bounce from your trials. 

Bounce forward. 

Bounce Godward!

       May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. Last Call Before We Close Doors: Do You Want To Build Multiple Income Streams?  Join Me At My TrulyRich Financial Coaching Program on May 25 and 26 in Pasig.  I want to teach more people to gain financial freedom. For more information, click on at the link below…

Tell me more about the TrulyRich Financial Coaching Program

On May 25-26, 2012

Here’s the story. One day, Jesus saw a paralyzed man lying near the pool of Bethesda. The guy has been paralyzed for 38 years. Jesus asked him, “Would you like to get well?” (Read the full story in John 5:1-9)

       I find that…uh, rather strange. 

Why ask that question?

       The paralyzed man could have answered, “Helloooo… Is the sun hot? Is the Pope Catholic? Is Bo Sanchez handsome? Of course I want to get well. Goodness, are you blind, Jesus? Isn’t it pretty obvious? When you were a kid, I was already lying here. Before you were born, I was already lying here. I’ve been stuck here for 38 years. My gosh, why wouldn’t I want to get well?”

       But Jesus asked that question because he knew human nature. 

Let me shock you: Suffering people are ambivalent. Torn. Confused. Conflicted. Two-minded. 

Many sick people aren’t sure if they want to get well. Many poor people aren’t sure that they want to get rich. Many problematic people aren’t sure that they want all their problems to be solved. Many abused wives aren’t sure if they want to get rid of their abusive husbands.

       It’s crazy, but true. 

       How do you know if someone is ambivalent? If he gives excuses for not doing what he’s supposed to be doing.

       That’s what the paralyzed guy did. He said, “I can’t, sir, for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.” (The people there believed that the pool was miraculous.)

Believe me, I’ve heard the line, “I can’t…” a million times already. I hear it from suffering people who seemingly want to get out of their suffering—but don’t. After saying “I can’t…” they’ll give their excuses.

       Let me give you one example…

 “I Can’t Because…”

I’ve talked to a number of jobless people. Here are the actual statements I heard from them…

o   “I can’t find a job because there are so many others looking for a job.”

o   “I can’t find a job because I don’t know anyone…”

o   “I can’t find a job because I don’t know how to make a bio-data.”

o   “I can’t find a job because I have no one to accompany me.”

o   “I can’t find a job because it’s so hot these days and I’m allergic to the heat.”

o   “I can’t find a job because I lost my cellphone.”

o   “I can’t find a job because I don’t have anything nice to wear.”

       I repeat—Excuses are simply signs that they’re ambivalent. Bottomline, they don’t want a job. At least, they don’t want a job bad enough.

Here’s what I learned in life: If you want something bad enough, nothing much can stop you. Not a million other job applicants. Not the heat. Not the lack of a companion. Not the lack of a cellphone. Not the lack of nice clothes.

       Why are people ambivalent?

Two reasons…

Two Reasons For Ambivalence

       This seems insane—when a suffering person is not sure if he really wants to get out of his suffering or not.

       But there are 2 real reasons for this ambivalence…

1. Suffering Has Become Your Identity

       The paralyzed man had been paralyzed for 38 years. That’s a pretty long time. He saw himself as paralyzed. I bet he couldn’t see himself in any other way—until Jesus came along.

       For many people, their suffering becomes their Safe Zone. They’ve gotten used to the pain. And what is familiar is safe—no matter how painful that situation is.

       Listen to this statement from author Robin Sharma. The most dangerous place is your safe zone. If you want growth in your life, you have to get out of your safe zone. Because your safe zone is the place for dead people.

       At the root of all ambivalence is Fear. What kind of fear? The fear of the unknown.

       No matter how painful suffering is, at least we’re familiar with it. That suffering has become our identity. And once there’s an opportunity to get out of suffering, fear of the unknown grips our heart. Result? We become ambivalent.

       When I converse with the poor in slum areas, I cannot count the number of times I’ll hear these words, “I’m poor”; “We’re poor”; “My family is poor”… It’s a common refrain you’ll hear again and again.

Poverty has become their identity.

Many of them have gotten so used to it, if you give them an opportunity to leave poverty, they’ll not take it. Because they’re afraid at what will happen to them if they lose their identity of poverty.

Here’s my big question to you: What problem has become your identity? The man’s paralysis was his identity. So much so that his mat became his master. His problem ruled his life. His mat controlled him, not the other way around.

What is your Mat?

Jesus said, “Stand up and pick up your mat.” Don’t let that problem control you. Take control of your problem! Take charge of that sickness. Take charge of that debt. Take charge of that situation. Stand up!

       Here’s the second reason for ambivalence…

2. Suffering Has Become Your Income

       Problems have side benefits. Always.

       For the paralyzed man, his paralysis was the reason why he could earn a living as a BEGGAR. For 38 years, his paralysis put food on the table. No wonder Jesus asked him, “Do you want to get well?” In other words, Jesus was asking, “Hey Buddy, if you get well, you’re going to lose your income. You’ll have to change your career. Are you sure you want this?”

       This is a fact. We derive all sorts of income from our problems, not necessarily financial.

       I met a woman who was sick with hypertension, diabetes, allergies, and heart disease. And every year, she’d have a new sickness. She was going to different doctors almost every week, sometimes two or three times a week, for 12 long years. 

       After talking to her, I realized she was such a lonely person. She had no real family around her. And here’s my suspicion: She likes getting sick. The only time someone talks to her, or listens to her, or holds her hand, or touches her arm, is when she is sick. Her 6 doctors, all the nurses, and the clinics’ receptionists have become her small community. 

       Believe me, she’ll never get well. Unless she finds an “income-replacement”. (I invited her to join me at the Feast each week. So she’ll find a new community there!)

       Here’s my question to you: What income do you get from your suffering? Identify your income. And identity your “income-replacement”. If you don’t, you’ll always have ambivalence. Fear of the unknown will always hold you back.

       Today, I’d want to give you the three steps to get out of your paralysis, three steps to get out of your suffering…

3 Things To Do To Get Out Of Suffering

Are you paralyzed by your problem now?

There’s hope. You can get of your paralysis. You can pick up your mat and walk.

Here’s how…

1. Remove Ambivalence

       Every week at our Feast, I ask people to lift up their list of dreams written in their Novena to God’s Love. (We give this Novena to all first timers for free.)

       Why do I encourage people to pray for their dreams daily?

       Here’s why: Because Abundance is attracted to Clarity. 

Not Ambivalence.

       You need to be very clear with what you want. Let the question of Jesus reverberate in your heart.  He asks you, “Do you really want to get well? Do you really want to get out of your suffering? What do you really, really, REALLY want?”

Abundance Will Give Her Heart To

Someone Who Really Wants Her

Abundance is like a beautiful woman, waiting for the right suitor to win her heart.

Mister Ambivalence shows up at her doorstep, but looks terrible. He’s wearing an old pair of shorts and an ugly shirt. And he smells. He hasn’t taken a bath for a week. It’s clear he hasn’t come to court her. 

When Lady Abundance opens the door, he looks at her and says, “Miss, you look interesting.  I think I like you. But I really don’t know. You see, I’m in a complicated relationship with another girl right now. Her name is Poverty and she’s a real pain in the neck.  But I’m not ready to give her up just yet.”

What will Lady Abundance do? She’ll tell him, “Bye!” and shut the door. She’ll drive him away.

And then Mr. Clarity arrives. He looks dashing in a tie. He smells fresh. And he has a red rose in his hand. He says to her, “People told me you were lovely, but gosh, you take my breath away.   This might be too fast, but I have to tell you what’s in my heart. No, I don’t expect you to answer me today, or tomorrow, or next week, or next month. It doesn’t matter. I will wait. But I need to tell you that I will pursue you with all my heart until the ends of the earth. And I have to ask this question in Tagalog… Bangin ka ba?” (Are you a pit?)

Miss Abundance asks, “Why?”

“Nahuhulog ako sa iyo.” (I’m falling for you.)

What do you think will Miss Abundance do? You can bet she’ll be more attracted to Mr. Clarity than Mr. Ambivalence.

Do you want to get out of your suffering? Do you want to get out of your paralysis?

Remove ambivalence. Be unstoppable.

And you’ll get out of your suffering.

Here’s the second step…

2. Restore Authority

       The paralyzed man thought that healing came from the pool. The superstition was that the first person to jump into the water when it starts moving would be healed. 

       So far, for 38 years, he’s not been healed. Why? First of all, no one offers to carry him to the pool. Second, he’s never the first guy to dive in when the water bubbles up.

But Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” In other words, Jesus said, “Forget the pool. Forget about waiting for someone to carry you to the pool. You don’t need the pool. Stop waiting. The power isn’t in the pool. The power is in you.”

       Let me say that again: The power is in you!

       So many people look for power elsewhere. They believe that the solution to their problems depends on someone else. 

They wait for the government to help them. They wait for Mommy and Daddy to solve their problems. They wait for a friend to rescue them. They wait for their boss to promote them.

But unless you understand that the location of the power is within you—you won’t get out of your suffering.

       Jesus said, I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. (Mark 11:23)

       You can change the topography of your situation. God has given you the Authority to command the mountain of your problems to move!

       When you believe that the power is within you, you become unstoppable.

And finally, the third step to get out of suffering…

3. Repeat Action

       Psalms 23 says, Even though I walk through the valley of darkness, I fear no evil, for you are with me. (Psalms 23:4)

       Face it. There are many valleys in our lives.  Many places of suffering.

But I love this Psalm because it says that we don’t stay in the valley. We don’t sit in the valley. We don’t stand in the valley. We don’t sulk in the valley…

We walk through the valley.

       I love the illustration of walking because walking is a repeated action. Walking is putting one foot in front of the other foot. If you want to get out of suffering, you have to keep on doing the right thing again and again until you walk out of the valley.

          Jesus told the paralyzed man, “Walk.”

For 38 years, this guy has never walked. He was rusty. I can imagine how clumsy it must have been at the start.

His toothpick legs were wobbly.  Shaky. Unbalanced.  People probably held him up so that he wouldn’t fall. But he took that first wobbly step. And he took another step. And another… Until he walked out of his suffering.

To walk out of your suffering, you have to keep on doing the right thing again and again.

Are you jobless right now? Do the right thing again and again until you walk out of the valley. Keep developing yourself. Keep training yourself. Keep applying. 10 companies, 20 if necessary.   Don’t stop. Soon, you’ll walk out of the valley.

Are you buried in debt? Do the right thing again and again until you walk out of the valley. Don’t borrow again. Keep paying your debts. Keep living simply. Don’t stop. Soon, you’ll walk out of the valley.

Be Unstoppable

Let me repeat my big question to you: Are you unstoppable?

       The reason why you don’t have what you say you want is because you don’t want it bad enough.

       You say you want a strong relationship with your kids. But do you want it bad enough, you’ll do anything to make it happen? Like spending more time with them? Like giving up golf, TV, computers, games—so you could hang out more with your kids? Do you want it bad enough that you’re willing to humble yourself before your kids to ask forgiveness from them?

       You say you want to become wealthy.   But do you want it bad enough? Will you live simply so you can invest every month? Will you be willing to sell and be rejected? Will you get training? Will you read the right books, attend the right seminars, and seek out the right mentors?

       You say you want to be healthy. But do you want it bad enough? Will you do anything to achieve it? For example, will you eat the best nutritious food? Will you walk everyday?

       Remove ambivalence.

       Be clear with what you want.

       Be unstoppable.

       And walk out of the valley.

       May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. Do You Want To Build Multiple Income Streams?  Join Me At My TrulyRich Financial Coaching Program on May 25 and 26 at Pasig, Metro Manila. Don’t be ambivalent. Be unstoppable. I want to teach more people to gain financial freedom. For more information, click on at the link below…

Tell me more about the TrulyRich Financial Coaching Program

On May 25-26, 2012

PS2. Learn about the Power of Intercession. Experience the Power of God in your life.  Discover your power to stand in the gap between God and your loved ones. Vita Monforte will give this Seminar on May 26, at 8am to 6pm, in Pasig. Learning Fee is supposed to be P700 per person, but because of generous sponsors who subsidize this seminar, it’s now only P200/person for the first 9 seats and P250/person for the remaining seats. To register, email beaconlightevents+seminar@gmail.com now.

Many of your problems don’t disappear overnight.

Your pimples don’t disappear overnight. Your dandruff doesn’t disappear overnight.  Even your husband doesn’t disappear overnight (and reappear as John Lloyd).

Here’s the truth: Life isn’t a straight road. It isn’t a smooth path. In fact, life has many potholes. Small potholes, medium potholes, large potholes, and super, extra, mega, ultra, gigantic, humongous, massive, nuclear-bomb-crater potholes.

And when you fall into one of these gigantic potholes, you have a choice. You can either break. Or you can bounce.

       I’ve got news for you: God created you to bounce.

Some people don’t know this. So when they fall, they break. They stay down.  They give up. They throw in the towel. They quit.

Perhaps you’re having a hard time in your life right now. Perhaps you’ve been experiencing excruciating trials.  Perhaps you have many problems bullying you now.

Here’s my message—The harder you fall, the higher you bounce! Let me tell you why…

Dark, Dirty, and Dangerous

       Last year, I was studying about gold mines.  One guy told me, “A gold mine has 3 D’s. A gold mine is dark, dirty, and dangerous.”

       First of all, there’s a lot of darkness. You can’t see a thing. He said, when you mine for gold, you have to go down as much as 3000 meters deep into the earth.   There’s no sunlight down there. But that’s where you find gold.

       Second, there’s lots of dirt. That’s why when you mine for gold, you won’t look pretty. You won’t look neat. You won’t look hip. Instead, you’ll sweat like a dog. You’ll smell like a horse. You’ll look like a pig. But that’s where you find gold.

       Third, there’s lots of danger. He said, when you mine for gold, you may get hurt.  You may get burned. You may get sick. You may even die. But that’s where you find gold…

Your Pothole Is Really A Gold Mine

       I’ve got an announcement to make: If you feel like you’re in a super-mega-extra-ultra pothole, then I’m sure it’s also dark, dirty, and dangerous. Then that means it’s not a pothole. It’s also a goldmine.

       In a goldmine, you’re surrounded by gold! The problem is that you can’t see the gold because it’s covered by darkness, dirt, and danger.

       I remember my friend Roy Pasimio. He was in a pothole/gold mine a few years ago.

       He was describing to me that moment when he learned that his daughter Gemma had cancer. At that time, he was on a mission trip in a foreign country. Away from his family and friends, he walked alone to a church, sat down in front of the altar, and just wept. Roy—a dedicated missionary for 20 years—couldn’t even pray. At that moment, he felt thick darkness envelope his life.

        If you feel like Roy right now, if you feel like your life is covered in darkness, and everything doesn’t make sense, don’t be afraid. The darkness and dirt and danger in your life only means you’re in a goldmine. 

       And that means you’re surrounded by gold.

       Roy Pasimio discovered his gold. The cancer of Gemma brought them together. Today, the entire family now serves God. And yes, Gemma is now healed of her cancer.

       Do you have a lot of problems today? Here’s my message: The more problems you have, the more gold you have. Every problem that you have will transform into gold.

       That is why we can say, “All is well…”

All Is Well!

       This story happened many years ago in Africa.

       A King had a friend whom everyone called Sunny because he had a very sunny outlook in life. No matter what happened to him, whether good or bad, he’d always say, “All is well!”

       If the sun was too hot, he’d say, “All is well! This sun is a blessing.”

       If rains fall like cats and dogs, cows and carabaos, triceratops and t-rexes, he’d still say, “All is well. The rain is a blessing.”

       One day, the King and Sunny went hunting. And in the hunting trip, Sunny’s job was to load the rifle and give it to the King. Sunny loaded the gun in a wrong way because when he gave it to the King, it fired by itself—and blew off the King’s thumb.

       The King screamed in pain. And in his rage, he sent his friend Sunny to prison.

       Many months later, the King was hunting again. But he hunted in a dangerous jungle where cannibals lived.

       True enough, the cannibal tribe captured the King, tied him up, and hung him in a tree. And they lit a fire beneath him.

       That was when one of the cannibals noticed that the King had a missing thumb. These cannibals had taste: They didn’t like to eat leftovers. In their minds, someone ate his thumb—and didn’t like it—and so didn’t eat the rest of his body. 

So they released the King and he walked away unharmed.

       As the King walked home, he remembered his friend Sunny in jail—and regretted sending him there.

       When he visited his friend in jail, the King told the story of how having a missing thumb saved him from the cannibals. He then said to Sunny, “I’m so sorry for sending you to jail….”

       Sunny smiled and said, “All is well! Prison was a blessing.”

       The King was shocked by his answer. “How could you say All is well? You got stuck here in jail for one year!”

       Sunny said, “If I wasn’t in jail, I would have been hunting with you today. And I don’t have a missing thumb!”

       It’s so difficult to say, “All is well” when trials come upon our lives. But that’s the truth. No matter what happens, believe that all things will work for good to those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

Jesus Bounced

I love the Easter story.

On Good Friday, Mary Magdalene fell on a gigantic pothole—and in her mind, even when it was a Sunday, she thought it was still Friday. On Good Friday, she saw Jesus die—and all her hopes died with him.

Perhaps you’re like Mary Magdalene.   You’re grieving right now because you’ve lost something. Perhaps you’ve lost a loved one. Or you’ve lost your health. Or you lost your job. Or you lost your hope.

On Easter Sunday, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb to grieve. The Bible says, Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.

She went to the tomb because the reason for her grief was in the tomb. But that was because she thought it was Friday. She didn’t know it was Sunday. Because on Sunday, the reason for her grief was gone.

Let me speak to you: Today may be Friday in your life, but your Sunday is coming. A day will come when you’ll go to the tomb to grieve as usual, only to find out that the reason for your grief is gone.

On your Easter, God will remove the reason for your grief.  God will remove that lack in your finances. God will remove that pain in your relationship.

What am I saying?

       On Easter Sunday, Jesus bounced.

       He was supposed to be finished. Dead. Lost. Failed. Defeated. 

       But Jesus was unbreakable. From the grave, He bounced.

       The Bible says that the same power that caused Him to bounce is the same power that is at work in you. You too can bounce from the grave. You too can bounce from your defeat. You too can bounce from your failure.

       My dear friend, Bounce.

       Shout it out: All is well!

       May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. Learn about the Power of Intercession. Vita Monforte will give this Seminar on May 26, at 8am to 6pm, in Pasig. Experience the Power of God in your life. Discover your power to stand in the gap between God and your loved ones. Learning Fee is supposed to be P700 per person, but because of generous sponsors who subsidize this seminar, it’s now only P200/person for the first 9 seats and P250/person for the remaining seats.  To register, email beaconlightevents+seminar@gmail.com now.

When I was a kid, I was really thin.

If you think I’m thin now, you should have seen me when I was 10 years old. I was so thin, if I wanted to vanish, all I had to do was stand sideways—and you could barely see me.

And I wasn’t only thin, I was short too. I know that today, I’m tall, dark, and humble. But back then, I was one of the smallest guys in class.

And listen. I wasn’t only thin, I wasn’t only short, I was also ugly. (I know that’s a bit difficult to imagine now…) But believe me, I looked like an alien. I had a humongous nose on a small face.

Being thin, short, and ugly was a perfect recipe for being bullied in class.

The bullies would call me names, push me around, steal my sandwich, confiscate my pad paper, kick my bag, order me to serve them… And at that time, all I could do was smile and say, “Hehehe….” I mean, what could a small, thin, ugly guy do?

But I had one consolation. The bullies who bullied me were smaller bullies. The Bully of bullies, his name was Jesse, wasn’t bullying me. Perhaps he thought I was small fry. That I wasn’t worth the effort. 

Everyone called Jesse the Man of Steel. The other bullies were made of wood but only Jesse was made of steel.

Jesse was two feet taller than any other kid in class. While all the boys in the class were still desperately trying to grow body hair, Jesse already looked like a gorilla.

You see, Jesse was three years older than all of us. Because he kept failing and repeating the school year.

       But one morning, it happened…

“I’ll Take Care Of You”

While I was reading in my seat, minding my own business, Jesse walked up towards me. He shoved his religion notebook in front of me and said gruffly, “Eugenio, do my homework for me.” (That’s my real name.)

       What could I say in front of the Man of Steel? “Hehehe. Okay…” . (A little background: I had very poor grades in school. My Math was 72. My Pilipino was 72. My Science was 72. But my Religion grade was 95. Even when I was a kid, God already knew I was going to be a Preacher.)

       And then out of the blue, Jesse popped a question. He pointed to the smaller bullies at the back of the class and said, “Are these boys giving you trouble?”

       I said, “Well, I really wanted to beat them up, but I was afraid I might hurt someone, so I decided not to…”

       Jesse smirked. He said, “If they’re giving you trouble, I’ll take care of them. Ako bahala sa ‘yo.” He then walked away.

       I didn’t think much about what he said.

The next day, I found out he was serious.

“If You Pick A Fight With Him,

You Pick A Fight With Me”

When I walked into my classroom, the smaller bullies were already waiting for me. Because I was their morning entertainment. They started calling me names, pushing me around, opening my lunch box to steal my sandwich…

And then Jesse walked into the crowd.

Immediately, the smaller bullies gave way. Some of them probably wondered what Jesse would do to me. Some of them had a sneaky grin on their faces, thinking, “This is the day you die, Bo. Jesse is after you.”

But they all got the shock of their life when Jesse puts his arm around me and says in his big basement voice, “Eugenio is my friend. If you pick a fight with him, you pick a fight with me.”

He then looks at the smaller bullies, who now quietly walk away like dried leaves blown by the wind.

For that entire year, the bullies never bothered me again.

       I tell you that story because there are many bullies in your life right now. Bullies of Debt. Sickness. Conflicts. Lack. Disappointment. Big problems telling you that you’re finished. That there’s no hope for you.

       Here’s God’s message to you. Don’t focus on the bullies. You’ve got a Jesse in your life, and His name is Jesus. He’s not just a Man of Steel, He’s a Man of God. 

And He says to you today, “I’ll take care of you.”

And He tells the bullies around you, “If you pick a fight with my child, you pick a fight with me.”

This is the message of the Cross. Jesus fought for you until death. He fought against the bully that wanted to rob you of your victory.

I pray for you today.

May God fight your battles for you.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

PS. Find Out If Homeschooling Is For You and Your Kids… I’m writing to parents with smaller kids. Here’s my story: My wife and I never sent our 2 kids to school. Instead, we “homeschooled” them. That means we taught them at home. (My wife did most of the teaching. But I supported her.) Because we loved homeschooling so much, a few years ago, I started the Catholic Filipino Academy to help parents who also want to homeschool their kids. If you want to know if homeschooling is for you and your children, click this link: Is Homeschooling For Me? Tell Me More About It.

         If you answer “Yes”, let me ask you a disturbing question: Do you know what that hand touched before it touched you?       

          Scary.          

          Here’s a scientific fact: The hand you held probably contained millions of germs. I’m not joking. What kind of germs? The kind of germs that kills human beings. Every square inch of that hand was probably covered with layers upon layers of germs.

Here’s my question: Why aren’t you dying? Why aren’t you even getting sick? Everyday, you shake hands with people—and you seem to be okay.

Here’s the truth: Germs don’t cause sickness. (Germs are everywhere!) 

I know that’s a controversial statement, but it’s the truth.

So if germs don’t cause sickness, what does?

A weak immune system.

I’m sharing this to you today to make you understand what cases us to sin…

Don’t Go After The Symptoms

       Just like germs, temptations are everywhere.

       Let me shock you: Temptations don’t cause you sin.

       That bottle of gin didn’t cause you to sin. That casino didn’t cause you to sin. That girl in a miniskirt and plunging neckline didn’t cause you to sin. That annoying, rude, and obnoxious officemate that tests your patience didn’t cause you to sin.

       Instead, a weak spiritual immune system caused you to sin.

       No, I’m not referring to your lack of religiosity.

       There are religious people whose schedules are filled to the brim with religious activities—going to Mass daily, attending prayer meetings daily, reading the Bible daily, praying the rosary daily, and wearing 16 scapulars around their neck–but they’re rampant sinners. And they also have the gall to be highly judgmental and critical of others too.

       A strong spiritual immune system isn’t about religion but about relationships. Specifically, loving relationships. It’s about whether you have a loving relationship with yourself, with others, and with God. In other words, your spiritual immune system is how much love you have in your heart.

Let me put it in another way. To make your physical immune system strong, you need nourishing food. To make your spiritual immune system strong, you need nourishing love.

And when your spiritual immune system is strong, it’ll be a little bit more difficult to fall into repeated sin.

The Outer Environment

But you still need to look at your outer environment.

Yes, a strong physical immune system is the basis of health. But no matter how strong my physical immune system is, I can still die young. How? 

If a 10-wheeler truck hits me on the road, I’m dead. 

I don’t care how healthy I am on the inside, the truck won’t care. The truck won’t care if I eat my vegetables everyday, if I do my Tai Chi everyday, or if I drink 8 glasses of water everyday. It I get hit by 10-wheeler truck, I’ll be as dead as a flattened frog on the road, its greenish entrails splattered on the pavement.

In the same way, taking care of my inner environment is crucial for my spiritual health. But taking care of my outer environment is important too.  

And this is what I want to share with you today.

Learning How David Fell

Let me tell you a Bible story.

One day, King David was in his palace “at a time when king’s go to war” (2 Samuel 11). Instead of going to war, he took a siesta. And when he woke up, he walked on the roof of his palace. And from his high vantage point, he saw a woman bathing in her house. He noticed that she was very beautiful.

This is how sin starts. It starts with our thoughts. 

“Wowowee,” David said when he saw Bathsheeba.

Inside his head, his conscience said, “Stop!”

But David justified and answered back, “Hey, what’s wrong? I’m just looking. There’s no harm in looking, is there? I just want to appreciate art.”

One day, a guy asked me, “Bo, when you see a beautiful girl walk by in a miniskirt, and the miniskirt is so mini that it looks more like an oversized belt…do you look?”

I told him, “I’ll look. I won’t be human if I don’t look. But when I look too long, and the thoughts linger in my mind, that’s when I know I’m in trouble.”

Because that’s what happened to David.

He Takes Another Step Towards The Edge

He calls his servant and asks, “Who is that woman?” 

His conscience was telling him again, “Why bother?” But he answers back, “Hey, what’s wrong with asking for her name?” 

The servant checks Facebook and tells David, “Her name is Bathsheeba, your highness. She’s married to Uriah, one of your army officers.

“Hmm, her name fits her,” David said. “No wonder she likes taking a bath.”

He invites her for coffee. I’m sure Mr. conscience spoke up again and says, “You’re crazy! She’s married!”

And David answered, “I’m not doing anything wrong. What’s wrong with coffee? I just want to chit chat.”

Bathsheeba comes and they have coffee. After coffee, they had dinner. And after dinner, they had drinks. After drinks, something happened that shouldn’t have happened…

       David probably told himself, “Oops, sorry Lord. This will never happen again.”

       But a month later, Bathsheeba sends a text message to David: “I’m delayed.”

       What was David’s response? He wanted to cover up the entire thing. He calls for her husband Uriah—who was a soldier fighting in the battlefield—to come home right away.  Why? So that Uriah can sleep with his wife and presume that the baby was his.

       But when Uriah came home, he never slept with his wife—out of loyalty to his fellow soldiers who were in the battlefield.

       So David chose Plan B. He sends back Uriah to war. He calls General Joab on his cellphone and asks, “How’s the war, Joab? Great? Fantastic. Hey, I need you to do a little favor for me. Do you know this Uriah guy? Can you put him in the frontlines?  The very front.  And when you see he’s busy fighting, can you tell all the other soldiers to run away. What did you say? Uriah will die? Well yes, perhaps that will happen, but you know, soldiers die everyday…”

       Not only did David commit adultery, David murdered Uriah.

Please know: This was the same David who won over Goliath. This was the same David who wrote some of the beautiful psalms.  This was the same David who the Bible says was a “man whose heart was after the heart of God.” 

Yet he still fell into a terrible sin. 

       How could this thing happen?

Because he was in a “perfect set-up for sin”. 

Let me describe it this way. If sin were an airplane, David built a first-class, top-of-the-line, international airport—with a giant runway—for the plane to land.

Today, I’ll describe to you this “perfect set-up for sin” and what we should do when we find ourselves in it.

Perfect Set-Up For Sin

       Today, you need to learn how to change the environment of the battle. When you see a “perfect set-up for sin”, find a way to avoid it.  And if you can’t avoid it, be alert.

This “perfect set-up for sin” includes two elements.

1. When you’re Absent

2. When you’re Alone

1.Be Alert When You’re Absent From Service

The Bible says that “at a time when kings go to war”, David stayed home.

In other words, he was absent from service.

He should have been deep in the battlefield. His feet should have been muddy, his arms should have been sweaty, and his blade should have been bloody—but that wasn’t the case.  On that day, his feet were clean, his arms were perfumed, and his blade was rusty.  

On that fateful afternoon, the Bible says he just had a nap. Before the nap, he probably had a massage. Before the massage, he probably had a big royal lunch—perhaps a juicy steak and chocolate cake for dessert. Before lunch, he probably had a haircut and manicure and pedicure—and whatever luxuries they do for kings.

So be forewarned. 

When you’re absent from service, be alert.

Yes, you can take a vacation from your Ministry but you can’t take a vacation from the Master of your Ministry.

Let me tell you a true story…

Only One Difference Between Steve And Arnold

Steve and Arnold (not their real names) were taking drugs. These two young men dropped out from college because it interfered with their shabu habit. Soon, they were already stealing to support their vice.

Their parents would cry to me, asking for prayers for their sons.

But one day, God answered their prayer.

Steve and Arnold joined the Feast (that’s what we call our prayer meeting on steroids) and the Light of Jesus Family and their lives were changed.  They kicked drugs out of their life and went back to college. Their parents were thrilled with joy.

Steve joined our music ministry. Three to four times a week, he played the guitar in our prayer meetings. He took his responsibilities for God seriously. Later on, Steve became a Caring Group head and was leading other young guys closer to God.

Arnold however didn’t volunteer. He just remained an attendee. He continued showing up for the prayer meetings. At least for awhile.

But soon, we noticed Arnold started missing the meetings. He said he was busy. Soon, he dropped out altogether. And we didn’t see him again.

Years later, Steve has remained drug-free. He’s still serving God, involved in ministry work. He has a nice business and is about to get married. 

Arnold, we heard, is back taking drugs.

One basic difference between them: Steve served. Arnold attended. The difference between “serving” and “attending” is gigantic.

The Two Rooms At The Feast

I want you to know that the Feast has two “figurative” rooms—the dining room and the kitchen. Guests stay in the dining room. Servants stay in the kitchen. These are the people who serve in the various ministries at the Feast: Awesome Kids, Ushers, Greeters, Music, Counseling, Lay Ministers, Creative Ministry, Media Ministry…

People who attend the Feast are blown away by how incredible it is. But let me tell you that what they experience is just the dining room. Wait till they go inside the kitchen. Because it’s always more exciting in the kitchen.

My personal invitation to you: Come and serve God with me. Love others. Serve others. Give your life to God’s people.

Join the Feast and volunteer in ministry. (Or any other organization or community in your area that needs your service!)

The best defense against sin is offense. Be busy in your service for God. Be engaged. Be involved. Be immersed. 

And you’ll receive more protection.

Next…

2.Be Alert When You’re Alone

This is the second set-up for sin.

When David fell, he wasn’t only absent, he was also alone.   Because he sent General Joab and all his friends to fight the battle for him.

You need good friends around you to protect you from temptation. When you’re alone, away from good friends, be on guard. Because you’re more susceptible to the enemy.

The Devil Prowls Like A Roaring Lion

       Animals know this. It’s instinct. That’s why deer and antelope and giraffes and zebras and even triceratops travel in herds. That’s not just because they like each other. That’s because in a herd, they’re protected against lions and tigers and T-Rexes.

Here’s the rule of the jungle: If you’re alone, you’re dead. Your days are numbered. If you’re alone, you might as well lie down on a large plate and pour catsup all over your body. Because you’re going to be eaten alive.

Unless a lion is really hungry, it’ll ponder a hundred times before attacking a herd.  But if you’re all alone, the lion won’t even think. He’ll just attack.

That means that if you’re alone, you’re multiplying your chances of falling by a hundred times.

       The Bible is very realistic. In one passage, it warns, Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  (Peter 5:8)

       If you’re alone, I suggest you join a herd.

There are three kinds of aloneness in this world.

1^st Type Of Aloneness:

No Inspiring Friends

God designed the spiritual journey to be taken as a family. 

No solo travellers allowed.  

For almost four decades, I’ve been serving God. Why? One humongous reason is that I’ve always had fantastic, awesome, wonderful friends around me who also serve God.

Never once in my spiritual journey was there a time when I didn’t have great friends around me.

That’s why the Feast is here. And that’s why the Caring Groups (that’s what we call our small groups) are here. And that’s why we have one-to-one discipleship. 

We’re here for you. We want to be your spiritual family. 

2^nd Type Of Aloneness:

No Intentional Friends

This is the second type of aloneness.

It may be possible that you’ve got many good friends around you, but your relationships are shallow. 

Usually, it’s because everyone has become busy.

For relationships to be life giving, you’ve got to be intentional in your relationships.

Relationships are like plants. If you don’t water the plant, it’ll die. If you don’t water your relationships with time and effort, your relationships will remain shallow.

That’s why small groups (like our Caring Groups) are very important to your spiritual growth. One of the most powerful things a group like this provides for you is accountability. One of the ways I got over my addiction was confessing my sin to my friends. Sin grows in darkness but it shrivels up when it’s brought out in the light.

Don’t be alone when you fight your sin. Ask help.

Are You Alone In Your Marriage?

This works in marriages too.

I’ve talked to a hundreds of married people who were having affairs. And here’s what I found out. Most adultery happens to married people when they were alone, either physically or emotionally. 

Adultery happened when they were physically alone. When the husband or wife was working abroad. Or when the salesman was on a provincial assignment.

Adultery happened when they were emotionally alone. Though living with their spouse under one roof, there was no real connection in the marriage anymore.

Be intentional about your marriage. Don’t settle for an “okay” marriage. Invest time, effort, and energy to make it a fantastic marriage.

Finally…

3^rd Type Of Aloneness:

No Infinite Friend

God has to be your Infinite Friend.

Then you will never be alone.

David was a prayerful man. When he saw Bathsheeba bathing at the roof of her house, did he pray against temptation?

I don’t know.

But I believe that if you have a deep relationship with God, you’ll be stronger against temptation.

I’m not talking about multiplying religious activities. I’m talking about deepening your personal connection with God.  I’m talking about allowing God to fill your heart with His love.

       Yes, pray everyday. Jesus said, Watch and pray, lest you fall into temptation. (Matthew 26:21)

       And chew on God’s Word everyday. Listen to spiritual messages like this one. Join the Feast. The Bible says, Your word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalms 119:11)

Last Word: Don’t Fight Alone

Remember Andres Bonifacio? 

One of his followers asked him, “Andy, how can we defeat the Spanish army? They’re taller and we’re shorter. They have guns and we have bolos.” That was when Bonifacio picked up a walis tingting…

Let me translate for non-Filipinos. A walis tingting is a broom made of tingting. (Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed by my own brilliance.)

Bonifacio said, “Alone, we’re easily broken. But together, no force can defeat us.”

So what did the Filipinos do? Misunderstanding what Bonifacio said, they attacked the Spaniards using their walis tingting. (Just kidding.)

       Friend, look for your walis tingting.

       Look for a spiritual family around you with whom you can serve and grow together.

       Just in case you don’t have one, join the Feast nearest you. (Email Annie at feastsecretariat@yahoo.com for info on the nearest Feast in your area.) You can also go to www.KerygmaFamily.com and check the right column for a partial list of our Feasts.)

       We will be here for you.

       You don’t have to be alone.

       You don’t have to fight alone.

      May your dreams come true,

      Bo Sanchez

PS. Attention: Singles Searching For Their One True Love…   I’d like to personally invite you to join my OneTrueLoveClub. This is a perfect time to join the Club because on April 19, 7:30pm, my friend and Relationship Expert Rissa Singson-Kawpeng (author of Confessions of an Impatient Bride) will host our first “for-members-only” Webinar especially for women. From one woman to another, she’ll share her heart to you. In the Webinar, Rissa will share all the twists and turns of her journey as a single woman, until she finally met Chris, her One True Love. In the Webinar, you’ll also be able to ask all the questions you’ve wanted to ask, and Rissa and her Special Guests will answer them for you. To join my OneTrueLoveClub and receive powerful inspiration and wise instruction for your life as a single person, click the link below:

Yes, tell me more about the OneTrueLoveClub

       This young man told me, “Bo, I don’t believe in God.”

       “That’s okay,” I told him. “God still believes in you.”

       He raised his eyebrow, not understanding what I meant.

       So I told him a story…

When I was a kid in school, I had a teacher who my classmates called, “Monster”. She never smiled. Everyday, she’d enter the classroom with a ruler in her hand, ready to punish.

It didn’t help that she also looked like a monster. When she got angry, we thought she had fangs. And her hair was so thick, we wondered if her hair was hiding two pointy horns.

Everyone called her monster because she liked punishing kids. If you were a first time offender, she’d make you kneel down on salt. If you were a repeat offender, she’d make you kneel down on salt and carry books with your outstretched arms. If you deserved capital punishment, she’d make you kneel down on salt, carry books, and chew siling labuyo (chili). 

       Today, you’d call that child abuse. Back in my time, this was just normal school discipline. (Yes, I’m old.)

       She’d punish for the slightest reasons. It was almost like she enjoyed catching us do something wrong. And if she couldn’t catch us do something wrong, she’d imagine that we were doing something wrong.

Once, while she was lecturing, I opened my drawer to get my pencil. She walked up to me and slapped my hand with her ruler. “Stop fidgeting!” she screamed, “just listen!”

       At another time, I was asking my classmate a question—and from the front of the class, she shouted, “Eugenio, you’re so talkative! Come here!” (Yep, that’s my first name.)

She also called my classmate, “Ralph! Come here!” Poor guy. Ralph didn’t even talk. He just listened to me. So in front of everybody, she made the two of us kneel down on salt and carry books.

       By the way, did I tell you what subject she taught?

Religion. 

Imagine how that affected my image of God!

Here’s my point…

Where Changes Comes From

       Did my classmates change because of her? Absolutely not. In front of her, we were like little angels. When she was away, we were like little demons. When she was away, we’d stand on our chairs and jump from one table to another.

       But when I was in Grade 4, Dad’s company transferred him back to Manila. And so I transferred school. And I had a new religion teacher.

And he was the total opposite of my old religion teacher. 

First of all, he smiled at everyone.

       But the most shocking thing about him was that he believed in his students. Goodness, he believed in me! 

How did I know? At the start of the school year, we had an exam. And I failed. That was pretty common for me, so I wasn’t surprised.

But he was. My religion teacher walked up to me and with a smile and said, “Eugenio, you’re so intelligent, I know you can do better. Take the exam again!”

Huh? I wanted to tell him, “Sir, it’s okay that I failed. I’m used to failing. I’m a failure. That’s who I am.”

But I didn’t say those words. I just went along with him and his crazy belief about me. I took the exam again—and for obvious reasons—passed it.

       Because of him, I changed. I began to believe in myself. On that year, my religion grade was 95. (That was the only subject I excelled in. I still got 72 in Math and Pilipino.)

Permanent change cannot come from fear.

Permanent change can only come from love.

Fear cannot change you.

Only love can.

That’s why the Bible says, There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

A lot of people think that God is like my first religion teacher. Angry. Cruel. Punitive. That’s why some people become atheists.

But let me announce to the world today that God is like my second religion teacher.

When you fail, He’ll come to you and say, “I believe in you. I believe in your goodness. You’re an amazing person! You can do better than this. Take the exam again!”

God believes in you so much. You may have failed, but He doesn’t believe you’re a failure. He’ll give you another chance. And another. And another…

Friend, I don’t want you to just believe in God.

I want you to believe that God believes in you.

And this will change your life forever.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

PS. I believe that a shift in your understanding will cause a major shift in your financial life.  That’s what will happen when you attend my How To Be Truly Rich Seminar on May 5 in Pasig. To change your financial life, click the link below:

Yes Bo, I Want To Know More About The Seminar on May 5

If you want to win over temptation, you have to heal your relationship with yourself. Jesus said, “a kingdom divided unto itself cannot stand.” In other words, can a country win a war if it’s divided within? Of course not.

In order to fight the bad outside you, you’ve got to friend with the good in you. You have to celebrate your goodness.

Last week, I gave you the first reason why loving yourself is necessary for overcoming temptation. Sin is a counterfeit of love. (The pleasure of sin is the pirated version of the pleasure of being loved.) By having the real thing and satisfying your deepest need for love, sinful desires lose their urgency.

But there’s a second reason why loving yourself is crucial to fighting temptation: You don’t have enough “why” to fight.

Establish Your Why

The Bible says, In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.  (Hebrews 12:4)

       Are you willing to die in your fight against temptation?

Many people aren’t willing to fight to the death. There’s not enough fight in us. That’s why we lose.

Why?

Because we don’t have a reason to fight.

There’s no fuel. There’s no fire. There’s no fight!

If you don’t love yourself, you won’t fight. If you don’t love your freedom, you won’t fight. If you don’t love your future, you won’t fight.

       If you study men who have gone in the battlefield and fought to the death, you’ll realize that they have a burning “why” in their soul. 

Without this “why”, you won’t bother going to battle.

       You’re in a battle too. There are temptations around you that want to destroy your life. Your marriage. Your finances. Your health.   Your inner peace.

       Will you fight this temptation?

       Here’s the truth: You will only fight temptation to the degree that you value yourself. If you don’t value yourself, you won’t fight.

       This is why I said that the greatest weapon of the devil isn’t lust, or greed, or pride, but self-rejection. This is the Trojan Horse that opens the gate of our souls to temptation.

To get rid of Self-Rejection, you need Self-Acceptance. To explain this, let me tell you the love story of Brad and Angelina (Note: any similarities to actual persons or events is purely coincidental).

How Many Cows Are You Worth?

In a small remote village many moons ago, there lived a people with a peculiar custom. When a man wanted to marry a woman, he had to give a dowry to the father of the bride. Now many cultures had this custom. But what was peculiar was the fact that the dowry had to be a cow. 

You see, cows were prized possession in this village.  And according to local custom, the man must give one to ten cows as dowry, depending on how beautiful the girl was.

       In this village, there was a young man named Brad who fell in love with a young maiden named Angelina. And he wanted to marry her. So after many months of courtship, he finally arranged for a meeting with her father.

He Asked For Her Hand In Marriage

       On that fateful day, Brad was nervous but ready. With sweaty palms and shaking knees, he knocked on the door of her home. And her family was waiting inside. Actually, her entire clan was waiting inside. All 67 people crammed up in this little house. 

The mother of Angelina opened the door and invited Brad to come in. As was the custom, in the center of the room were two chairs prepared.  The father of Angelina was already seated in one of them. He motioned to Brad to take the other seat.

Brad cleared his throat and announced, “Sir, I’d like to ask for the hand of your daughter Angelina in marriage.”

       The father nodded his head and said, “Yes, I give you my blessing.”

       The entire family applauded and cheered. And Angelina gave a shy smile as her sisters gave her a squeeze.

The young man then asked the next big question, “Sir, can we talk about dowry…”

It is here that I wish to give you a little background. 

Angelina was kind and loving and sweet and intelligent. But she wasn’t physically beautiful. Her eyes were too large. Her mouth was too wide. Her lips were too thick. (I repeat: Any similarities to actual persons, events, or circumstances is purely coincidental.)

Because of this, the women of the clan—the grandmother, the mother, and all the aunties—already agreed that Angelina was worth one cow. This consensus was arrived by the women of the clan not on that day, not even weeks or months before, but years ago—as Angelina was growing up as a little girl among them.

So back to the story. The father said, “All I ask is that you give me one cow for my daughter.” Nods of agreement spread across the room. 

       Brad frowned.   He couldn’t hide the dismay on his face. He shook his head and with a firm voice said, “Sir, with due respect, I shall not give you one cow for your daughter. She isn’t worthy of one cow.”

       There was a collective loud gasp in the room. Angelina covered her mouth. Everyone was in shock…

This Guy Is Crazy

The father stood up. With anger, the father said, “Young man, how dare you insult my family! How dare you insult my daughter!”

       Brad momentarily looked at Angelina (who at that point was about to break down in tears), smiled at her, and said, “Sir, for your lovely daughter, I shall give you TEN cows.”

       There was another loud gasp in the room. All the relatives whispered to each other, “This guy is crazy.”

       The father didn’t know what to say as well.  For a moment, he spoke gibberish.  “I… I… uh, but… but… how should I say this… young man, this is tradition. Aren’t you paying too much?”

       Brad smiled, “Sir, Angelina isn’t only beautiful. She is the definition of beauty. Angelina is worth more than the highest price a man can ever pay.” 

       Brad then stood up, knelt in front of Angelina, and sang, “Beautiful girl, wherever you are…”

       A few days later, the ten cows were given. And the wedding took place. And the happy couple walked to their new home.

       And as the years passed, something magical happened to Angelina. Her physical appearance changed. Her face became more radiant. More alluring. More lovely. Soon, she became the most beautiful woman in the village.

       Let me tell you how this happened…

Women Carry This Value In Their Minds Forever

       Women in that village—for the rest of their lives—would carry their “dowry value” in their minds. They would see themselves through that lens—even if they got married 20 or 30 years ago. And they would also be seen by others through that lens.

The village seamstress? She’s a three-cow wife. 

The store cashier? She’s a six-cow wife. 

The wife of the doctor? She’s a four-cow wife.

       But only Angelina was a ten-cow wife.

       So she smiled like a ten-cow wife.  She talked like a ten-cow wife. She dressed like a ten-cow wife. She took care of herself as a ten-cow wife. And everyone in the village saw her as a ten-cow wife!

Your Behavior Flows From Your Belief

What’s my point? 

Your behavior flows from your belief.

       Because Angelina believed she was a ten-cow wife, she acted like one. Soon, her physical body transformed too.

A lot of people try to change their lives by changing behavior.

       Generally, it doesn’t work. Because they think the battle is on the outside. It’s not. Victory and Failure is an inside job.

       Here’s the truth: You don’t change your life by changing behavior. You change your life by changing your beliefs. Once you change your beliefs, you change your behavior. Because behavior flows from beliefs.

 But where does belief come from?

Your Belief Flows From Another Person’s Belief

Brad believed in Angelina. 

He believed in her value. And she caught this belief.  

For the longest time, she believed she was a one-cow woman. But someone walked into her life who had a totally different belief. This guy believed that she was a ten-cow wife.

Because of this, she began to believe in her value too.

Because Brad believed in her value, Angelina experienced a transformation. New behavior flowed out of her new belief.

Belief is like a virus. It’s not taught, it’s caught. No amount of lectures or reading will make you believe in your own value. There’s got to be the presence of another person who believes in your value—and he infects you with that belief.

Belief comes from belief.

The only way to believe in your own value is to witness someone else believe in your own value.  

This is the role of every parent. To announce to your child, “I believe in you so much.” Parents, you need to say this by your actions, not just by your words. By the amount of time you spend with your kids. By the way you look at them, talk to them, and love them. Kids can see in your eyes whether you believe in their value or not.

       When parents don’t do this, children grow up searching for someone to believe in them. And this is where they fall to bad company…

       We need to be re-parented. In my vocabulary, this is discipleship. (This is what we’re trying to do in my spiritual community, Light of Jesus Family.)

Someone Does Believe In Your Value!

Brad paid for Angelina with the highest price possible. 

Friend, you’re like Angelina—because God paid for you with the highest price possible. He gave Himself on the cross.

God values you so much.

Once you “get it”, you don’t want to sin.

The Bible said, Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet… (Matthew 7:6) 

Why do we live with the swine? Why do we act like swine?

       Because we believe we’re swine.

       Why can’t we stop sinning? Because we believe that’s who we are. But if you believe that you’re a child of God, you won’t stay with the swine.

How I Got Healed

I’d like to pray with you today.

I believe miracles happen when someone loves you—and you receive that love.

I believe this because it happened to me. For many years, I hated myself. I just didn’t see myself as a one-cow person. I saw myself as a one-worm person. A one-bacteria person!

I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed that I even existed.

This belief came from a trauma that happened to me as a child—when I was molested. And it worsened when I wallowed in my addictions. But every time I fell in my addictions, and I hated myself even more, God came and wrapped His arms around me.

God kept whispering to my ear, “I love you. I accept you. I enjoy you. I celebrate you.” The Bible verse that echoed in my heart was, Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… (Romans 8:1)

God is like my second religion teacher. When I failed, He’d come up to me with a big smile on his face and say, “I believe in you. You can do better. Take the exam again.” God is the God of the second chance. And the third chance. And the fourth chance…

       Condemned people act in a condemned way.

       But forgiven people act in a forgiven way.

Slowly, I saw myself differently. I saw myself the way God saw me. And I changed.

Allow God to love you today.

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez

PS. Join the Biggest Party! Get a big, fat marker pen and mark this super event on your calendar. Ten thousand people will come to our Grand Easter Feast on Easter Sunday, 8am to 12noon, at SMX (near Mall of Asia). Free Admission. Just walk right in and enjoy God’s Love. Come and receive your Easter Blessings! We’ll have a beautiful Easter Mass and inspiring worship. I’ll also preach on the message, Get Your Gold From Your Garbage. For more info, email Joy at support@kerygmafamily.com or call Tel. 7259999 now. Come!

        This series has three myth-busting messages: (1) Focus on the Good; (2) Friend with the Good; and (3) Fight for the Good.

       Today, I’d like to talk about how to Focus on the Good.

       Let me warn you. What I’m going to tell you today is controversial. In this message, you’ll read stuff that you won’t hear very often…

Where’s The Fight Taking Place?

       Do you fall into sin?

       Have you ever fought temptation and lost?

       I’m asking this question because, uh, I can’t relate. Sin is very foreign to me. In fact, I always ask my friends, “Can you describe what it feels like to sin? Because, frankly, I’ve never experienced it.”

Well, okay, I do admit I have one little, tiny, itsy, bitsy weakness…

I lie. 

       Haha.

Okay, no more jokes. If you have sinned against God, then keep reading. Because your preacher is the greatest sinner.   Name a sin, and 99% of the time, I’ve done it.  (I haven’t killed anyone. At least, I don’t remember.)

       So today, I speak to you as one fellow-sinner to another fellow-sinner. I share with you today the lessons I’ve learned while I was stuck in the muck of sin.

Yes, your preacher is bruised, broken, and bandaged—but still blessed by the mercy of God.

Here’s the big thing I realized. When I find myself trapped in my habitual sins, it’s because I was fighting in the wrong arena.

I was fighting outside me when the battle was inside me.

       No wonder I was losing!

       We think temptation is as an external problem. It’s not.  It’s an internal problem.  Because all these external temptations are almost powerless if it didn’t have allies working within me.

       Here’s my big message for you today: Victory is an inside job. 

By the way, failure is an inside job too…

The Fight Is Within You

My mother lived during the Japanese war.

And she has all sorts of crazy stories to tell.

One of them was that before the war began, she said there were Japanese vendors selling their stuff on the streets of Manila. But when the Japanese army attacked the Philippines, these Japanese vendors—who were dressed very simply—turned out to be high-ranking officers of the Japanese army.

It’s like the story of the Trojan horse.

For 10 years, the Greeks were trying to conquer the city of Troy, but with very little success. The city of Troy was impregnable, with high thick walls and a massive gate that the Greek soldiers couldn’t destroy, no matter how hard they tried.

But one day, the Trojans (the people who live in Troy) saw the Greek soldiers sail away. And saw that the Greeks left behind a giant wooden horse.

The Trojans brought the horse into their city as a trophy of war. They didn’t know that the Greeks just pretended to sail away. And that inside the wooden horse were Greek soldiers hiding.

That night, when the Trojans were asleep, the Greek soldiers came out of hiding and opened the gates of the city–welcoming the returning Greek soldiers. They marched in and destroyed the city of Troy.

       Read carefully: You fall not because of the strong temptation outside you but because of the weak situation inside you.

The temptation shouldn’t have been powerful.

But someone opened the gate.

Who is that someone? 

Your Trojan Horse.

This Trojan Horse is the greatest, most powerful, most potent, most deadly weapon of the devil.

The Greatest Weapon Of The Devil

       One day in Hell, there was an Annual Infernal Conference attended by the all devils in the world. The Theme of the Conference was, “Our Greatest Weapon Against God’s People”.

       The first Speaker—a high-ranking devil—stood on stage and announced, “There is no debate about this. Our greatest weapon against God’s people is lust!” All his listeners applauded. He explained, “Even Presidents, Priests, and Preachers are totally defenseless against lust!”  And the entire crowd roared in agreement.

       The second Speaker came up. Wearing a black tuxedo with a thick gold ring on every finger, he declared, “The first speaker is stupid. Don’t listen to him. Because our greatest weapon is greed!” The audience drank his every word. He said, “Imagine the billions of people who are suffering today because of our assistants on planet earth—greedy politicians!”  And the whole assembly screamed, “Yeheey!”

       The third Speaker climbed up on the platform amidst the sound of blasting trumpets. He wore a royal red robe and a golden crown. With extreme arrogance, he shouted, “The first two speakers told you a bunch of crap. Don’t listen to those ignoramuses. Because our greatest weapon is…” and he clenched his fist in the air, “…Pride!”  The entire hall thundered with applause. He screamed, “Every war in the history of mankind was caused by pride!”

Finally, the last Speaker of the Conference stood up. And when they saw him, the room became deathly quiet. Because everyone knew who he was. He was the devil that brought the most number of souls away from God.

He wore a simple black robe. He spoke quietly. He said, “There is something more powerful than lust and greed and pride. In fact, I compare lust, greed, and pride to wooden toy slingshots. And I compare our greatest weapon to a nuclear bomb. Because with our greatest weapon, you can multiply the power of lust, greed, and pride by a million times…”

By this time, all the devils in the hall were shouting to the top of their lungs, “What is it? What is our greatest weapon?”

He waved his hand to quiet the crowd.

And he whispered, “Our greatest weapon is… self-rejection.”

When External Spiritual Activity Isn’t Enough

       Self-rejection is the Trojan Horse of temptation. It opens the gate of your soul to temptation. That’s why you lose the battle.

       I speak with authority because this was my experience.

Decades ago, I couldn’t kick the habit of pornography. For years, no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get out of its deathly grip. All my energies and time were being consumed by this addiction.

At that time, I asked my religious leaders, “How can I fight temptation? It’s so overwhelming.” And these spiritual people would give me pat, canned answers.

They’d say, “You need to pray more,” or “You need to memorize the Bible more,” or “You need to attend more prayer meetings,” or “You need to avoid the situations that lead you to sin”

       All these advices are great stuff.  (In fact, I’ll give you the same advice in the third part of this series, but from a different angle.)

But at that time, I was shocked when they didn’t work on me.

I still fell into sin. Repeatedly. I still was trapped as ever. I told myself, “Hey, I doubled my prayer time. Why did I fall? Gosh, there must be really something wrong with me!”

Here’s why these activities failed: Because all these good advices was telling me to focus on the fight “outside” me.  “Add spiritual activities, like adding ammunition, and you’ll win.”

Soon, their advices added to my frustration—which made me sin even more.

How?  

First of all, I already hated myself for falling into sin again and again. And now, I had a brand new reason to hate myself. Because I promised to pray more and memorize the Bible more—and I failed to do them too!

This vicious cycle of self-rejection led to more sin.

The Anatomy of Habitual Sin

       Let me tell you something that very few people will tell you…

       Behind every sin is a cry for love.

       Your greatest and deepest need is to be loved. Mother Teresa said, “the greatest poverty is the poverty of being unloved.” When you don’t fill this great hunger for love, you scramble and grab anything that will quiet this hunger.

       So you look for a replacement. A painkiller. An anesthetic.

       That narcotic is sin. 

Because the pleasure of sin is the pirated version of the pleasure of being loved.

The problem with the fake version is that it’ll never truly satisfy your deepest hunger. Instead, it will increase your need. What used to satisfy no longer satisfies. Over time, you’ll need to increase the dose of the narcotic.

 A porn addict starts looking for unnatural sex. A gambler starts gambling with higher amounts of money. An adulterer starts searching for more partners.

Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Gambling. Materialism. Food addiction.  Approval addiction. At the core of all addictions, they’re all the same: It’s a desperate need for love.

       Let me give you another analogy…

Love Is Expensive

       In many streets of Metro Manila, you’ll see rugby boys. It’s a heart-wrenching sight. I cry whenever I see them. Little boys—as young as six years old—sniffing rugby on the sidewalk, looking at the world with glazed eyes.

These kids are hungry for food. But because food is expensive and rugby is cheap, they go for the drug. To forget their hunger, they sniff the brain-shrinking, neuron-burning chemical adhesive.

But people who have habitual sins are in the exact same boat.

We’re hungry for love. But love is expensive and sin is cheap. So we go for our habitual sin to deaden the inner pain of our hunger for love.

I repeat: Love is expensive.

Believe me. It’s not easy to love yourself. To value yourself. To forgive yourself. To accept yourself. It’s easier to sin than to do the hard work of loving yourself the way God loves you.

How Will You Know If You’ve Got A Trojan Horse?

There are 3 signs to know if there’s a Trojan Horse in you…

First, you don’t love yourself. You reject you.  You hate you. You don’t accept who you are. You don’t celebrate you.

       Second, your most important relationships are dysfunctional. You don’t receive love from your closest relationships. Even if there are people around you who truly love you, you can’t see this nor receive this love.

       Third, you worship a “rejecting” God. A legalistic, cruel, judgmental God. So you don’t receive love from God as well.

       Unless you heal this inner wound and start learning to love yourself the way God loves you, you’ll never be able to win over temptation.

       Next week, I’ll talk about how to do this.

       But let me give you the first step that you need to do to fight the battle within…

Receive God’s Unconditional Love Now

       Let me repeat: The pleasure of sin is the pirated version of the pleasure of being loved. 

Do you want to experience the pleasure of being loved? 

       Receive God’s unconditional love today!

       And take your cue from God.

Don’t focus on your badness; Focus on your goodness.

       Don’t hate yourself. Don’t reject yourself. Or this self-rejection will cause you to sin even more.

       He loves you more than you can ever imagine.

Have you sinned? Have you fallen?

       God doesn’t look at what you did wrong.

       God looks at what you did right.

       God doesn’t focus on your failures.

       God focuses on your future.

       In your eyes, you’re bruised, bandaged, and broken. In God’s eyes, you’re beautiful, beloved, and blessed.

The Bible says, But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. (Romans 8:5, 11)

What is God saying here? He says, “Don’t focus on your sinful nature. Focus instead on your spiritual nature. Can you imagine? My own Spirit is in you!”

In other words, focus on the good.

This is a mind-blowing truth.  That the same awesome power that created every atom, molecule, pebble, leaf, tree, valley, ocean, mountain, planet, sun, star, and galaxy… yes, the most powerful force in the universe… is in you.

And that most powerful force—the Holy Spirit—is love.

Next week, I’ll teach you how to heal the Trojan Horse of Self-Rejection.

       May your dreams come true,

       Bo Sanchez

PS. Be Refreshed In Your Soul. Join My “Live Out” Holy Week Retreat 2012. Receive His Word. Get into prayer. Be cleansed deep in your spirit. And experience God’s Love all over again. Join my 3-Day “live out” Open Holy Week Retreat—on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Black Saturday. From 8:30am to 12noon everyday, at the Valle Verde Country Club, Pasig. Retreat investment is P999 ONLY for the entire 3-Days Retreat. Make your Holy Week very special this year.  Seats are very limited. Email now. To register, email beaconlightevents+seminar@gmail.com now!

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