In other words, same old, same old.

I have to wonder how many of the people who take the tax-the-rich line pause, even briefly, to ask themselves what gives them a claim on other people's money, and a pretty much limitless claim at that. Not many, I'm afraid. It's habitual by now.

But they should pause. And more to the point, we should. We, meaning Christians. We have it on good Authority that it's a sin to steal. Should we be quick to conclude it's not stealing if it's done by the state? Automatically? Should we blithely assume it's OK if the government is democratic? Might that not make it worse -- increasing the complicity, and the corruption, of the people?

Shouldn't we at least ask these questions?

Yes, I know: There are mitigating factors. Health care isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. (I really know: I've had major medical bills with no insurance.) But the issues remain, and we still need to wrestle with them. And we can't forget that the people always support making "the rich" pick up the tab. The spirit of the nation isn't "we're deeply sorry to take other people's money, but we're desperate." It's simply "We're entitled."

And yes, I know: Scripture has many warnings about attachment to wealth and many calls to care for others. But those words aren't just for the wealthiest of us: They're for all of us. When we feel we're entitled, we're not getting our spirits into harmony with God. We're only doing that when we're voluntarily giving, not forcibly taking.

I'm not entirely closed to ethical arguments for government programs of this sort, though I'm skeptical of them. The trouble is, few people seem to feel they even need to make those arguments. They just feel free to take the money.

So let's talk about this. A ground rule: Let's not talk about the details or the practicalities of health-care reform. We've done that a lot already on this site, and we may do it again, but it's not today's topic. Let's focus on the moral and spiritual issues raised above. There's plenty to chew on right there.

Hey Boundless,

It's been two years now I've been hooked on Boundless. A friend of mine introduced me to the site and I've been faithful to it and the podcast ever since.

I'm Kerry and this is me at my home office in Trinidad and Tobago in the southern Caribbean.

I run a national student news magazine called The Student Press and naturally I work with a lot of young people. Your articles have been a source of great inspiration to me especially as it pertains to giving advice to youth.

Lisa is my favourite of course. She is so brutally honest and sweet.

Oh, I must tell you guys thank you for messing with all my beliefs and pre-conceived notions of relationships. (Hope you get the sarcasm a la Lisa here lol.)

The pinch I've felt this year and at various other times in my life (e.g., as a college student), is a lack of financial resources for giving. That's why it's great that many acts of kindness carry no price tag. Here are a few ideas:

Free babysitting. This weekend my husband and I are babysitting for our pastor and his wife. We had wanted to do something for them during Clergy Appreciation Month in October but were tight on funds. However, when I mentioned free babysitting, my pastor's face lit up. "We haven't been able to go on a date since September!" he said.

Gift cards. Each year I receive an assortment of gift cards. A grocery card from work. Multiple Starbucks cards (everyone knows about my habit). And various other cards to restaurants, movie theaters and stores. I'm not advocating re-gifting Mom's sole Christmas gift to you, but if an extra gift card comes your way, why not pass it on to someone who needs it more than you do?

Food. The holidays are a great time to make someone a meal or prepare plates of cookies for neighbors or shut-ins. My high school youth group used to spend an evening caroling to all the older people in our church and taking them plates of cookies.

Hospitality. Give the gift of your home. People love a warm, happy place to gather. Host a Thanksgiving or Christmas get-together. Serve Christmas treats, play some games and watch a holiday movie. I have a friend who loves to put on a "romantic dinner" at her house each time one of her friends gets engaged as her gift to the couple.

Nice stuff you don't need. Do you have extra items you're thinking of selling on craigslist? Why not give away quality items instead. When Kevin and I got married, we ended up with an extra king-sized bed. Kevin learned that one of his coworkers was six months pregnant and sharing a double bed with her husband. When we offered her the bed she was thrilled and offered to pick it up the next day!

The holidays are a great time to reach out to people, though opportunities to bless others with kindness exist year round:

Part of being a blessing to others is being alert to opportunities. If an affirming thought comes into your mind, say it. If you wonder if someone is in need, offer to help. If you find yourself thinking of a person, go a step further and act. A little deliberate kindness goes a long way.

And the great news is ... kindness is absolutely free.

Do-It-Yourselfers -- 0:00
Last weekend I spent about an hour pulling my toilet up and fishing out my son's toothbrush from the trapway. (He didn't get in too much trouble. He was just trying to multi-task while getting ready for bed.) I never really considered calling a plumber. I knew I could get 'er done with a couple of tools, a wire coat hanger, and an adventurous spirit. It's a skill I picked up from the ultimate do-it-yourselfer: my dad.

This week, Steve and I talk with Lisa about what our dads taught us and how it's made us better men.

Art of Manliness -- 16:09
I've noticed several ladies comment on the blog this week that they've broken up with men because of poor hygiene. If only those poor guys had known about the Art of Manliness, a website dedicated to, well, the art of being a man. And apparently, good hygiene is part of the art of manliness.

Here's a portion from their article, "Keeping It Fresh: Avoiding Bad Breath, Body Odor, and Cheap Cologne":

Unfortunately, I know far too many grown men who still smell like reeking teens, and whether they know it or not, their odor problem is wreaking havoc on their personal relationships, their business prospects, and the respect people give them. Most of us are too polite to confront a man with an odor problem and some men live completely oblivious to the foul destruction they leave in their wake. We grow accustomed to our own scents and as putrid as they are, we cannot recognize them.Our nose filters out and ignores many background odors, such as the ones in our nasal passages.Some of us also have poor olfactory senses, so bad odors don’t bother us like they do others. Time to wake up and smell the B.O.!

Good stuff.

For this week's Culture segment, Lisa interviews the couple behind the popular Art of Manliness website, Brett and Kate McKay.

Leading a Man to Lead -- 37:34
I thought this was a perfect question to tackle this week. A girl writes that she's in a relationship with a guy who did a great job at initiating a relationship but doesn't really know where to go from there. Should she back off and let him find his way or take the lead on leading him to lead? Or something like that. Anyway, Candice and Lisa have the solution.

It was halftime of the football game we were watching. I, being not too interested in the halftime show, had retired to reading my paper. But hubbie's comments focused my attention to what the sports broadcasters were discussing: a recent video showing one college football player flagrantly attempting to eye gouge another player who was pinned in a pile.

The coach had decided to suspend the player for a half-game after viewing the video tape ("Oooo," hubbie commented. "Suspend him for a half game against Vanderbilt. That'll teach him."). But what got under hubbie's skin a little was this comment from the coach as he was interviewed:

"I don't condone that. I understand what goes on on the football field, but there's no place for that ... I spoke with him. That's not who he is ... He got caught up in emotion."

A female college soccer player, who was videoed repeatedly pulling hair, kicking, punching and elbowing opposing players in a recent match, is using the same type of language in her defense. She told the New York Times

"I look at it and I'm like, 'That is not me,'. I have so much regret. I can't believe I did that.

I think the way the video came out, it did make me look like a monster. That's not the type of player I am. I'm not just out there trying to hurt players. That's taking away from the beauty of the game. And I would never want to do that."

It's that language that was driving hubbie a little crazy on Sunday.

"Not who he is? Take a look at the video. If that's not who he is, he never would have done it, even with the emotion," hubbie said. "Better to say, 'That video showed me someone who I don't want to be. I apologize for my behavior. I've got some things to work on. I will be working on them.'"

Smart guy, that hubbie. As I thought about what he said, I thought about how exactly right he was. It's under pressure ... under intense emotion ... that my own ugly comes out bright and clear. Yep, I can hold the ugly in under most conditions. But it's when I'm frustrated with my family, or driving when I'm late to an appointment, or tired, or whatever, that Ugly Heather makes her entrance.

And it's so tempting to sweep UH under the rug. "That's not me," I protest. "I'm not like that." But, maybe, that's exactly who I am. That's exactly why I need a Savior. That's exactly why I continue to need to be sanctified.

My in-laws have a magnet on their refrigerator that reads, "Sports don't build character. They reveal it."

Perhaps for me it might read, "Life doesn't build character. It reveals it."

The next time Ugly Heather reveals herself (which, let's be honest, probably won't be that long from the time I end this post), I've got something to think about. Instead of protesting to God, "That's just not me!", I can say, "Please forgive me. Create in me a clean heart and a right spirit. Because that is me and it's not who I want to be."

Candice has almost finished the book, but she's let me interrupt her reading to knock out a couple of the chapters. I couldn't get enough of it -- especially as someone who grew up in a fairly legalistic church community and had some difficulty learning how to rightly enjoy God's good gifts.

I appreciate the great job Gary does of explaining how enjoying God's gifts properly is the best shield to resisting our enemy's counterfeits. 

Don't miss this chance to read one of the best books of the year at the perfect price for Boundless readers ... free.

I was feeling that way last night, and I told God I was really needing to know that He values me.

There are many times where God doesn't answer all of our prayers and questions the way we would like, or sometimes we don't feel like we get answers at all.

But my prayer last night wasn't one of those. God answered me quickly and in a very unique way.

Today when I woke up there were two things burned into my thoughts when I woke up today. One was the song, "How Deep the Father's Love for Us." It's a beautiful song that was exactly what I needed to hear, and I've been listening to it all afternoon.

The second is a poem that some of you may have heard before written by Kathleen Wheeler. It's called "A New Leaf" and it's one that God brought to my mind when I needed it most.

I'll share it with you here, and if you prayed the same prayer last night I hope this is an encouraging answer for you too.

He came to my desk with a quivering lip, the lesson was done. "Have you a new sheet for me, dear teacher? I've spoiled this one." I took his sheet, all soiled and blotted, And gave him a new one all unspotted. And into his tired heart I cried, "Do better now, my child."

I went to the throne with a trembling heart, the day was done. "Have you a new day for me, dear Master? I've spoiled this one." He took my day, all soiled and blotted, and gave me a new one all unspotted. And into my tired heart he cried, "Do better now, my child."

When I first met my friend Daniel (not his real name) four years ago, he was not yet divorced, though he had been separated from his wife for a year and a half. Because Daniel was my age and living a single lifestyle, I sometimes found it difficult to remember his marital situation. We never considered dating -- mainly because we didn't share a faith in Christ -- but I occasionally found myself in sketchy moral territory. For example, was it wrong for the two of us to have dinner alone since he was not technically single?

In today's featured article "Beware: Black Diamond," Christina Holder shares her own tale of being pursued by an unavailable man. Surprisingly, these kinds of pursuers (and on the female-side seducers) are more common than you might think -- even in Christian circles. I've known Christians who got involved in relationships where one or both of the individuals were married. These kinds of relationships severely stray from the course God has set for love.

Thankfully, the author was astute enough to see it quickly and her mind was protected by truth. She writes:

I knew that no matter how good-looking Paye was -- or how much I wanted to hear his words -- that I couldn't let my emotions make a decision for me. The only way to deal with my temptation was to loosen its grasp at the first chance I got -- even if that meant being as abrupt as the swift swing of a car door.

The night after our failed date, Paye's freshly deleted phone number flashed across my phone display. I knew my only way out was to continue on my own path of escape.

"No temptation has overtaken you but such is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it," it says in 1 Corinthians 10:13.

I silenced the phone.

If you are flirting with the idea of a forbidden relationship, take Holder's advice and act swiftly to flee the temptation. Giving in to sin not only causes you to stray from God's best, it eternally impacts the lives of others.

I first noticed this trend in 1997 after the school shooting in Paducah, Ky. A gunman opened fire on a prayer group at Heath High School, killing three and wounding five. Almost immediately, a hero emerged from that unthinkable carnage. A young, outspoken Christian student named Ben Strong stepped forward with a story that varied from time to time about how he boldly convinced the shooter to lay down his weapon. Ben was an instant hero, especially in Christian circles, an example of the supposed superior bravery of a Christian man. There was even a book and a CD called B.Strong released to quickly capitalize on Ben’s heroism. Except the story eventually turned out to be not quite what he suggested or allowed people to believe.

The next major incident happened after the Columbine shooting in 1999, where stories quickly circulated about the heroism of a young Christian lady, Cassie Bernall, with hoopla similar to that which surrounded Ben Strong. Except, once again, the story was not quite what we were led to believe.

Our latest hero is Miss California, Carrie Prejean. She was lauded for her courage in answering an unfair and loaded question during a beauty pageant. She was a hero, standing up for her faith and traditional marriage and being attacked and called horrible names for it. Except we are finding out in drips and drabs that Miss Prejean has done things that are less than flattering to someone claiming to be guided by her faith. She said it was a horrible mistake made when she was young (although 17 years old is not that young), but we’re now hearing another version of the story that calls into question her veracity on even that point. Suddenly this hero is getting the hot-potato treatment.

Now let me stress that my purpose here is not to rag on Carrie Prejean, Ben Strong, or anyone else. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I know I’ve done things that I’m terribly ashamed of and would be mortified if they were to be splashed all over newspapers and TV screens.

No, my purpose is to call us out on our seeming need to create heroes as some sort of vindication of our faith. This is, I think, different from the natural human tendency to pull something positive out of a negative. My sense is that Ben Strong, Cassie Bernall, and Carrie Prejean were held up as sterling examples of the kinds of people who are Christians. It is a form of legalism, showing that somehow by our works we are justified — before the world, at least. Whether we intend it, this communicates to the world that this is what it means to be a Christian: bold, brave, squeaky clean.

I know I'm anything but, and I suspect most of you are not, either. We should be the first to tell the world this. I’m not a hero. I have nothing to boast about. I’m a wretched sinner who didn’t deserve the grace shown by God, and short of His indwelling strength, I’d be more wretched still. I can boast in only one thing.

Aside from being the truth, this message of sinners saved by grace instead of our own heroic works gives hope to those who are tired of trying to somehow justify themselves before God. It also cuts short the mockery that comes as an inevitable result of our still-fallen natures being, well ... part of our nature. We need to heed the apostle Paul’s rebuke: By failing to live up to our own standards — in this case, heroic, idealized Christianity — we cause God’s name to be mocked.

The Bible is full of flawed people who were still used powerfully in God’s plan of redemption, not because they were great or heroic, but because they were weak.

Let’s do away with Christian “heroes.” Let’s just be what we are and let our faith and our testimony to be the only evidence the world needs to see. In our weakness, God can do great things.

I try to think of where my parents were at my age, but it's hard to have a clean comparison with them because they always seemed like established mature adults to me -- people who didn't need to grow in maturity. It's also complicated because I was a teenager when my parents were the age I am now.

And so I find myself thinking about mentors I've had over the years and what I remember them being like at my age or I'll compare myself with peers born around the same time I was or I'll even think of the early chapters in biographies I've read.

Sometimes these benchmarking efforts motivate me to step up and be more mature. Other times they leave me frustrated and thinking it's not helpful to compare.

Often I'll find myself just repeating Psalm 90:12. "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

If you want to enjoy Hollywood's latest disaster flick, 2012, you may have to suspend your disbelief more than usual. Also this week, Bob and Cheryl talk about the mildly entertianing The Box and the raunch fest Pirate Radio.

Though there are many things that both perspectives would agree on (get rid of revolving debt, save and give), when it comes to financial specifics, the divide can widen ... significantly. One area where I noticed this gap was in advice to couples.

In the article, I give several examples of popular, secular financial speakers and authors who suggest that couples maintain separate financial lives or, at least, that couples should just do "whatever works." But, in the Christian financial realm, you'll be hard-pressed to find many who advocate separate accounts or "whatever works."

I wrote:

Why the disparity? Why are so many secular advisors pro-separate accounts or, at best, neutral, while so many Christian advisors advocate joint accounts?

One study by the Raddon Financial Group showed that 48 percent of married couples had two or more checking accounts in 2005 — up from 39 percent in 2001. So, are Christian financial advisors ignorant or just behind the times? Or, is there something more?

The more I read, the more I tend to think that there is something more.

Specifically, that it's not just about the accounts. It's about what each group believes about marriage — what marriage is and how to make it work well.

For those of us deciding which advice to take, those beliefs are important.

So I looked into what each group really believed about marriage, if their advice was even for married people at all, what assumptions they made about relationships and whether those assumptions matched the Word.

I was pretty intrigued by what I found.

Give the article a read. Have you thought at all about how you will handle your finances when you are married? Does understanding some of the secular financial advisers' assumptions about marriage and relationships give you pause when considering whether to take their advice or not?

I thought of that quote when flipping channels today. The topic of the day was Sarah Palin, and her reported comments to a McCain aide last fall: Seems she was pressed by the aide to say she believed in evolution, and she refused to get on board. The TV host launched into jeering at her in a can-you-believe-she actually-thinks-that? sort of tone, and commenced to push his guests to either join him in the jeering or be jeered at themselves. You didn't have to be a Palin fan to find the treatment kinda repulsive. It was so high school.

I call that host's attitude strategic mockery. It's a kind of bullying we all recognize from childhood onward, and it doesn't go away when we enter the adult world: It just takes on new forms. It's a conscious intimidation tactic that substitutes embarrassment for argument: Come on, you're not one of them, are you?

Any Christian who takes his faith seriously can expect to run into this a lot: That's not news. So how do you deal with it?

I have a few personal rules: Don't resort to a "Christian" version of that attitude yourself; don't get mad; do be calm; do be good-humored. But let's hear what you do. Or perhaps what you try to do.

Hey Boundless denizens

This is Jools and I on honeymoon in Wales on the Gower peninsula. The weather that day was typical British- rainy, but things got better and we surfed, went for walks and rudimentary bird watching.

We've been married for just under 2 weeks* (yay!). We had a worshipful wedding and we embark on married life with confidence only in God to shape us into his likeness.

Thanks for all the Godly counsel and the encouragement to muster my courage and do the right thing.

Helkias

*Editor's note: This WAY was originally received on July 30th, 2009. Sorry for the delay, Helkias. =(

I know some of you out there probably struggle with road rage tendencies from time to time. Although I'm by no means a hot head on the road, I do occasionally find myself annoyed by the driving-under-the-speed-limit-driver, the pull-in-front-of-me-driver and the bad-at-merging-driver.

But do you ever have moments of deep thankfulness for a good driver? These moments come often for me. Because bad drivers are always before me, I find myself taking notice of the quieter more considerate drivers: the ones who let me in; the ones who follow at a decent distance; the ones who stop at red lights. I think of them as my friends. I always wish I could give them a gold star or at least a thank-you.

Today as I drove to work a bit white-knuckled because of snow-covered roads, I had one such driver behind me most of the way. He followed four car-lengths behind the entire drive, never rushing me or pushing me to go faster. Even though he could easily have passed (I was maxing out at about 35 mph), he stayed behind me, which I found a comfort in case I slid off the road. He was my snow-driving ally.

When I arrived at work, I realized he was also a fellow employee. As I walked in, I found myself wanting to thank him for his courteous driving ... but I felt a little silly.

It's very easy to get angry with bad drivers, but why not focus on those who are making the roads a better place through good driving? If you are one of those drivers, I salute you!

Maybe you see kind souls in other places besides the road. Who are your "road angels?"