http://blogcritics.org/music/article/yoko-didnt-break-up-the-beatles/

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On E! I saw a clip of a Jackson lawyer claiming that the Michael dangling the baby over the balcony incident was the singer reenacting the African tradition of raising the baby over his head to show to the tribe and that people who didn’t understand were racists. You pay someone money and they can get incredibly creative.

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Second F’d up nose to go in a week. Barbra Streisand should spend the next week in Intensive Care just to be safe.

Barbra Streisand was the first legitimate laugh I ever got. I was about 8 at my parents tennis club. Some adults were watching Barbra on the TV, when a man said, “She’s so ugly I’d make her sleep at the other end of the bed.”

I quickly replied, “Her feet would probably smell.”

8 years old - that’s genius!

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http://blogcritics.org/music/article/time-to-rein-in-the-michael/

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When I was a kid at an Ice Cream parlor, I’d be bummed about only getting to have a cone. I determined then that someday I’d be old enough to have a banana split whenever I wanted to.

When I reached that pont, I no longer had any interest in having one.

However, I never had a quandry about the Banana Splits - loved them then, love them now. And Bob Marley definitely ripped them off in Buffalo Soldier.

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Jim Carrey sort of started out as what Carrot Top became, albeit one with amazing physical dexterity, and became one of the edgiest comedians ever. If he’s at an awards show, I’m dying to find out what he has up his sleeve.

I don’t watch the CSI shows because I hate seeing blood and guts on TV. I watch House sporadically, but the second something gross comes on the screen, I’m out of there. Every once in a while I’ll flip by the one that has David Caruso on it and just be amazed at how awful he is. It’s like if William Shatner actually thought he was being a good actor on Star Trek or something. I know a lot of people have said it, but wow, it only takes about three lines of dialogue from him to make you think, “wow midgets could do this role better.”

The other day I watched the last ten minutes of an episode, which makes it my longest attempt at CSI (William Peterson is a god - so don’t get mad if the real one is good, I’m sure it must be and if it had been around earlier OJ would have went to jail the first time.).

Here’s what I saw.

A lawyer who stole all of the assets of a divorcing couple is murdered and the things that were stolen disappeared. Both the husband and wife accuse the other of doing the lawyer. The husband is wearing the expensive watch that was stolen. The wife is wearing the diamond earrings that were stolen. Yes, these are the dumbest criminals ever! When confronted with this damning evidence by the great red hope, they come clean and admit that they somehow managed to simultaneously stab the lawyer to death with the knife from their wedding cake!

Now that’s good entertainment! (Should I put not? Everything I write is so over the top sarcastic and some people still don’t get it. It’s depressing sometimes.)

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Me and a friend, huge Bill Hicks fans both, and himself a former comedian, both admitted that we find Carrot Top funny.

It’s not necessarily cutting edge funny. It’s not life changing funny. It’s not brave funny, but it’s funny. I’ve always loved his routine about looking like the flagship of the Wendy’s chain.

I’m not sure what percentage of completely guilty pleasure non-sense comedy you are allowed to covet and still be hip. I’ve met plenty of people whose percentage aims to be at 100%. I never have much respect for them, but universally they all seem happier than me. So what do I know?

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You have to hand it to Jim Morrison. Even in his bloated bearded decline, he still looked pretty damn cool.

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Check out my review of this epic tale here

http://blogcritics.org/books/article/book-review-check-raising-the-devil/

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And he didn’t charge him either!

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