The other day my daughter Chloe hurt her leg. She must have pulled a muscle or threw her hip out because she had trouble even straightening her leg out. It doesn’t help that she already has an incredibly low pain tolerance to begin with (it’s a major surgery just trying to remove a sliver).

We had to run out and needed to bring her along. Because of her “injury” and her tendency towards drama, she was limping horribly through the store and looking downright dreadful. I was getting embarrassed and, being the compassionate father that I am, told her to “either stand up straight or go back to the van.” Yeah I know, pretty nice guy, huh?

Fortunately her “injury” is doing much better now but it got me thinking, why was I so embarrassed to have Chloe limping through the store with me? Why did that bother me so much?

As terrible as this sounds, the best answer I could come up with is that I have a difficult time tolerating weakness. Even if I or someone in my family is hurting I would rather suck it up and act like everything’s cool than let other people know there’s a problem.

As I write that out I realize how sick that sounds. It’s even more upsetting to me because it was the spiritual fakers that Jesus called on the carpet (Mt 23:27) while He loved spending time with the hurting and broken (Mt 9:12-13).

I’m praying that God destroys this root of pride in my life. I want to have the heart of Jesus and show compassionate to those who are hurting (even if the person hurting is my daughter who is milking a pulled muscle). More importantly, I want to be able to be honest with God and others when I’m hurting.

What about you? Do you have a hard time tolerating weakness in your life? In others?

What are you doing that you need to STOP doing?

Rachel Getting Married deals with the often complex and stressful dynamics of a family that has been through personal pain. Learning to forgive and move past pain and bad decisions is a theme that is woven throughout the story.

During one scene, Hathaway’s character is sharing some of her story during an AA meeting. She said something that has been running through my head since I watched it.

I struggle with God so much, because I can’t forgive myself. And I don’t really want to right now. I can live with it, but I can’t forgive myself. And sometimes I don’t want to believe in a God that could forgive me.

I think more people can relate to that statement than we might expect. So many people keep it together so well on the outside while inwardly struggling with intense guilt and shame. As Christians, we sometimes talk of love, forgiveness and acceptance so casually that we forget that some people have a hard enough time forgiving themselves let alone believing that an all-knowing God could accept them the way they are.

Let’s remember that despite how people look on the outside, most carry burdens of guilt that we couldn’t possibly imagine. Many people spend a lifetime trying to outrun memories of a past they’d like to forget. They struggle reconciling themselves with an image of a God who isn’t mad at them or doesn’t hate them as much as they hate themselves.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing but sometimes, it’s not the easiest pill to swallow.

Another song that has spoken to me through the years has been The Silence of God by Andrew Peterson. I’ve been moved to tears many times by the beautiful lyrics, especially during rough times in my life when it felt like God wasn’t there. I’ve actually got goosebumps just thinking about it as I type this.

What song gives you chills?

[images: carbonnyc/snorski]

Church Isn’t About Protecting Christians From The World

Some of the church environments I experienced maintained that the church was a haven of peace and hope in a horrible, broken world. We were the sheep. They were the wolves. We had to protect our sheep by keeping the wolves out. We were “in the world but not of it,” remember? While there are many churches who consciously or sub-consciously adhere to the idea of being a place to hide from the evils of the world, I remind you the type of company Jesus kept when he walked this earth. He could have adopted the Pharisee’s method of separating himself entirely from everything “unclean.” Instead, he was known as a “friend of sinners.” Can our church say that?

Church Isn’t A Club

One of our strengths as the church is the friendships and community that come out of our local expressions of worship. People who have been hurt and rejected for years find healing in healthy relationships. However, if we’re not careful, friendships can turn into cliques and new people walking through the door will find themselves on the outside looking in. Our circle of friends is important but let’s not be so self-absorbed that we miss those Christ is calling us to serve.

Church Isn’t An Event

In Western culture especially, we have equated church with an event that happens once a week. We get ready for church, we drive to the church, we do church, we come home and then we don’t think about it again until next week. God never intended church to be an event that we only participate in for a couple hours each week. We are the church. That means that we carry it with us 24/7. It follows us wherever we go, whatever we do. Church is as much a part of the conversation we have with a co-worker on Monday as it is about the worship songs we sang the day before.

Church Isn’t A Location or Building

While most of us know this intuitively, we still need to be reminded that the church isn’t a specific building or location. Our buildings and programs create environments for church to happen but they are no more or less sacred than our living room or even the neighborhood pub.

Church Isn’t A Denomination

We each like to think that our own beliefs and doctrines are the “right way.” Which is understandable. We wouldn’t practice them if we didn’t believe them to be true. The danger comes when we begin to see our way as the only way. There are some hills to die on but then there are other battles that don’t need to be fought. Some sprinkle, some dip. Some take communion with wafers and wine, others with bread and grape juice. One day soon we’re all going to be sitting up in Heaven wondering what all the fuss was really about.

Church Isn’t About You

This one is the most important distinction in my opinion. Church isn’t about YOU. It’s about THEM. I have no patience for people who visit a church and come home complaining that the music was too loud, the message too long or the air conditioning too cold. Some people view church as a “pick-me-up,” a little boost of joy and happiness to get them through the week. Show up, sing a couple songs, shake a few hands, go home and pull out the potroast. The church was never meant to be a place to cater to Christian’s comforts. It is and always has been about “seeking and saving those who are lost.” (Luke 19:10)

These are a few of the things that I think the church ISN’T. What would you add to the list?

Those of you past thirty who are already on the fast-track to the rocking chair on the front porch will probably relate. The rest of you can just have a laugh at our expense and file this away for later. And when I say ‘later’, I mean that as a statement of inevitability…because your day will come.

Wrestling

The funny thing about getting older (and I’m not talking drinking-ensure-and-prostate-exams-old, I’m referring here to the slightly-past-your-prime-but-don’t-know-it kind of old) is that most of us think that our bodies are still capable of doing the things we did when we were in our prime.

Here’s a little secret: our brains and our bodies hate each other. Our brain has a tendency to go and do something stupid like tell our body that it is still capable of wrestling with that 17 year old kid who happens to be on the wrestling team because, after all, wasn’t that just yesterday (i.e. 379 years ago) that you used to enjoy roughing around? The next morning when you can’t get out of bed because your back is out and every muscle in your body is screaming in pain your body remembers why it’s not supposed to listen to your brain. Stupid body!

Reminiscing About When You Were A Kid

This one is kinda tricky because those sweet memories have a way of sneaking their way into stories and before you know you’re starting sentences with things like, “When I was your age…” which silently screams, I have lived a very long time and am about to tell you a very long story. This can be easily avoided by watching the words we use.

Rather than starting with “When I was your age…” instead say, “Just a couple years ago…” I know, I know, it wasn’t just a couple of years ago. The story you’re about to tell probably took place when cell phones were still in science fiction books and gaming consoles were considered high resolution if they had more than 16 colors but they don’t need to know that.

Complaining About Gas Prices

Yes, gas prices have risen steadily through the years. And yes, I’m sure you remember filling up your Ford Pinto for $.85 cents a gallon. Just remember, it’s ok to quietly complain to yourself when you’re at the pump. Just resist the urge to tell that college kid at the pump next to yours how good you had it when you were a kid (see above) because more than likely (a) he’s not interested in your story and (b) you telling him things like how the price of gas used to be so cheap only reinforces in his mind that you really are from a different planet.

Stay Up All Night With Friends

It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we’re capable of doing stupid things like staying out until 4 in the morning with friends (remember that body/brain connection I talked about?). After all, a couple of Red Bulls go a long way towards fooling ourselves into thinking we have the same stamina that we’ve always had.

Be warned, Red Bulls are not your friend! They make you forget about things like the 3-year-old that is going to be jumping on your bed at 6:00 AM the next morning demanding that you make pancakes. Because just because you thought you could stay out all night like you did when you were young doesn’t mean you can sleep in all morning like you did when you were young. Yin and freaking Yang my friend.

What things have you discovered you probably shouldn’t do as you get older?

Even after ten years since the first Toy Story, watching this teaser trailer makes it seem like only yesterday. To Infinity, and beyond!

What’s your favorite kids movie (that you secretly love as an adult)?

The first thing I’d like to look at is the important principle of selection. When Jesus came to earth he chose a dozen men to be his disciples (Luke 6:13-17, Mk 3:13-19). They weren’t scholars or men with special talents. In fact, one might say that he chose individuals woefully inadequate for the job of starting a worldwide movement.

It’s worth pointing out though that regardless of their abilities, or lack thereof, Jesus devoted large amounts of time to invest in those leaders he selected. He regularly got away from the crowds and spent time teaching them and answering their questions.

Raising Up Next Generation Leaders In The Church

While some churches are doing an outstanding job of leadership development, many still struggle with releasing the next generation of leaders. Instead of following Jesus’ example of reproducing himself in the lives of his disciples, we see churches today that function more like a tightly run corporation with high level leaders guarding trade secrets.

Why are our churches doing such a dreadful job training up new generations of leaders? When will we learn that we’ll accomplish more when we continue to invest in the next generation and allow them to fly further than we ever could have.

Here’s some things to think about:

• Are you looking for individuals that you can train to replace you?
• Can your ego handle it if you train up leaders who are better than you?
• Do you intentionally pour into the lives of those who serve under you and give them the tools to succeed?
• In what specific ways are you investing in the next generation of leaders?

Feel free to jump in and add your thoughts. Have you had someone who has poured into your life as a leader? If so, how has it helped you grow as a leader?

[photo: japi14]

• Note to self: Pull out another carbonite unit to freeze this bartender who is taking forever to bring my my drink
• Can’t wait to finish this stupid Death Star. Could these idiots work any slower? I may have to do some more Force choking… #DeathStar
• http://www.twitpic.com/7mbly Travel regulations these days really suck. Don’t they know who I am?
• #FollowFriday Give it up for my Dark Side bros @BobbaFett @EmperorPalpatine @AdmiralPiett
• Hitting the cantina on Endor later on tonight. Anyone up for drinks? That’s a hypothetical question. If you don’t come I’ll kill you.
• http://www.twitpic.com/7mcdz Visiting @LukeSkywalker. hehehe
• While my suit may look pretty badass it chafes like you wouldn’t believe on hot days like today! #$@#%!
• Choking someone with the force never gets old. Being the Dark Lord of the Sith sure has its benefits.
• @JediMaster Seriously? Everyone knows the @DarkSide can kick your butt. Let’s just agree to disagree. Either that or I can kill you.
• Disappointed that @LukeSkywalker won’t get to be my flunky. Difficult to make someone your right-hand man after you’ve cut it off.
• Another benefit of my suit is that I can fall asleep in @EmperorPalpatine’s boring meetings without anyone anyone noticing! Facemask FTW!!
• http://www.twitpic.com/7me6s Trying out a new “eco-friendly” lightsaber @EmperorPalapatine is proposing for energy cutbacks. Not impressed.

Got any more Tweets you think Vader would have Twittered?

In the lines from the TV show opener they say:

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic man.

I had a friend growing up who used to LOVE watching reruns of that show. He would make the techno-beat sound from the show as he imagined himself as Steve Austin running 80mph and breaking through walls with his fist.

On one occasion I remember my friend attempting to prove how high he could jump by setting up a chair that he would leap in a single bound. The only problem was that he set the chair up in a doorway so when jumped and cleared the chair he hit his head on the doorframe. Ouch.

Ok, let’s bring the conversation from 70s TV shows to the present. We’re called to spread the gospel and make disciples (Mt. 28:19). Jesus set the ultimate example by choosing 12 unlikely candidates to train up as leaders and spread his message around the world.

We Can Build A Better Leader. We Have The Technology.

What is interesting is that the individuals Jesus chose wouldn’t be the people we would have picked. He chose fishermen and tax collectors. If you lived in those times and were given the responsibility to find 12 people to start a worldwide movement, don’t you think you might have chosen people with more “leadership material?” I mean, throw some religious or civil leaders in them mix or at least a PTA president.

Instead Jesus poured into those unlikely, unqualified disciples and the greatest single movement to sweep the world is the result. I’d like to look a little closer at a few of Jesus’ leader-building principles in the next few posts but let’s discuss your ideas and experiences first.

Because you read my blog I’m going to assume that I’m talking to a group of leaders who find ways to grow as a leader and improve their leadership reach. Let’s take it a little deeper though and talk about being a leader who builds other leaders.

What tools, programs or resources would you use if you were asked to build the six-million dollar leader?