https://www.brainyquote.com/feeds/funny Funny Quote of the Day from BrainyQuote.com en-us bqrss@brainyquote.com (Web Master) bqrss@brainyquote.com (Web Master) Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 CDT Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 CDT 1440 https://www.brainyquote.com/images/rss_brainyquote.gif https://www.brainyquote.com/feeds/funny 88 31 logo "If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster." https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/clint-eastwood-quotes https://www.brainyquote.com/quote-20260501-0 Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 CDT "The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver." https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/jay-leno-quotes https://www.brainyquote.com/quote-20260501-1 Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 CDT "There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory." https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/josh-billings-quotes https://www.brainyquote.com/quote-20260501-2 Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 CDT "I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap." https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/bob-hope-quotes https://www.brainyquote.com/quote-20260501-3 Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 CDT