This brand knows jerky! Apparently, they also know my teeth issues. That said, the flavor is jam-packed, too! Recently, I had to get out of dodge for some ocean therapy. I live nearly 2 hours from the Atlantic Ocean (and have for my whole life, even before moving to Northern Vermont).

This means, Miss Brandy needs a road trip snack that’s easy to eat, gives me some fuel to keep me full longer, because the last thing I want to do is have to venture into some unknown place into some scary looking conveinnecne store only to hope the strangers are nice.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had the best of luck venturing into new stores, but my social anxiety does kick in from time to time with new spaces.

This particular trip, I was super stoked because Old Trapper’s rep sent along a package of some of their road trip snack options to try.

Who is Old Trapper?

In case you have no idea who this brand is, let me tell you a little about them. They have a variety of product options on their website. Click the image below to see their full line of snacks.

Old Trapper is known for its tenderness and excellent flavor profile. They source high-quality beef to ensure their beef jerky is excellent every time, and honestly, I loved their peppered beef jerky!

The peppered beef jerky has a little kick to it, but remains tender enough to gobble down the entire smaller package we had on our road trip. Delicious!

This brand’s story began in 1969 when the family started selling their jerky in an Oregon store near their local region of the world. While this brand is still family-owned, it can be found in many stores across the United States.

I personally love that Old Trapper became a favorite at their local level first, and then expanded, becoming a favorite all over the United States, still going strong all these years later.

Old Trapper has you covered from game day to hiking, fishing, and everything in between. They have a jalapeno beef stick, which was new to me to try! I love the kick it has, and again, the tenderness gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME with the Old Trapper brand.

Their price point is WORTH IT!

If you want to grab you rown road trip snack, or Father’s Day gift of Old Trapper this year, click here to see which options are available on Amazon, or visit the Old Trapper website for more details.

The post The Ocean and Old Trapper appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

I was raised in a world where I had this one uncle who refused to let me say, ‘I can’t’, he wouldn’t have it! Whenever I said those words, he would correct me to ‘I can’, and while he has since departed this world, there have been days as of late that this memory sneaks in.

Some days, I struggle with the feeling that I am not able to do things. While many things are going well, other things are confusing to me. I don’t wish to be a part of some things, and yet other things in my life I am so ever grateful to be a part of.

Some days, I want to curl up in a ball and cry, mourning the days that have gone by. Yet, a bigger part of me knows that I made my decisions on a calm heart & mind connection. I am where I am because of the choices I made during the calmest time of my life thus far.

I asked, and I received.

The problem with it, or what my mind tries to make a problem out of, is that some of the pieces aren’t exactly what I thought my choice was leading me toward. Perhaps I made some other choices not from my calm, connected state, and so some pieces of my current season are not quite right yet again.

I asked, and I received, but did I make some repetitive pattern choices along the way?

Perhaps, I did.

Maybe I didn’t.

What I do know is that no matter how much you have of what you’ve asked for, there will always be this human part of us that desires a slight adjustment of the outcome. It seems we cannot help but forget to pause and soak in the having of the things we’ve asked for.

I do not mean the material things; rather, just a life that you once dreamed or prayed for is here, and yet you, as a human being, focus on the little pieces that aren’t quite “what you envisioned”, and ruin the WHOLE of it by focusing on the egoic desires of “what it should be” in your egoic mind.

So, what if you just pause for a moment? What if you just soak in the NOW, and realize that you have what you once asked God for? What if you just pause to see all the things that are going well for you?

I mean, you’re alive reading this, which is a miracle in itself. Maybe you aren’t living the fullest life that you dreamed, or maybe you are divorced and never thought that would be the case.

Maybe you live far away from your kids, and it is a struggle.

Maybe you have addictions to things that you don’t share with others, and it is eating you up with guilt or shame.

I don’t know you, but I do know human beings. I know that, after much observation of myself and others, we all suffer in similar ways. We all have similar patterns of behavior and emotions.

You know, I truly thought that I could be with someone forever, and they would always be truthful. I mean, BRUTALLY GOD LEVEL truthful with me, but honestly, what human being could achieve that level?

I think we are capable of being that way, but the heaviness of our society/culture/planet makes it extremely difficult, so even the best-intended people mess up on this mission.

Then, when I realize a human hasn’t met this expectation, I feel betrayed, and I want to go away into the woods. Being around human beings and our imperfect nature hurts my heart so deeply.

Perhaps this is why I had the vision to live alone with my dog in the woods. I knew human beings would keep hurting me if becoming too close, and so I was called to live alone with animals.

Yet, I do love human interaction, so I know that God brought me to where I am today for some purpose. I am to learn to be grateful for the LIFE I have, even if the dream of what I asked for doesn’t quite look as I had prayed for or dreamt up, in many ways it is much better than I could’ve ever thought up.

The spiritual side of my life right now is extremely strong, good, and hopeful. It is the human side of me, the older versions of me, trying to cling to a story that is no longer truthful for me.

I’ve come to learn that most human beings who are living, or trying to live their best version, struggle with the paradoxical ways of human life. My advice to you is to remember that we are not always truthful, but that doesn’t mean we are deceitful. Sometimes people just don’t feel comfortable speaking the truth. We all have walked different paths, and that makes us unique.

The thing is, no matter how mean, nice, rude, good, bad, etc., a human being is, the core of us wants connection. Sadly, some of us experienced such damage as a youth that we are cautious to get close, for each time we do, something happens to break it.

That said, today I invite you to pause and look in the mirror to ask yourself what you can do to stop this cycle of pain.

Can you show up in full love with someone today, even though a piece of you struggles to trust and love fully?

Can you show up in kindness today, even if someone is yelling in your face?

Can you learn to say NO and mean it?

Can you feel confident in saying YES and mean it?

These are all things I learned to work through within the book, ‘The Best Yes‘. It transformed my life, and I think it is time for me to read it again. While that is an affiliate link, the book was gifted to me from a previous ghostwriter for bloggers client, and I am ever so grateful she gifted it to me that year.

I pray that you will buy it and try to see if it can change your life for the better, too!

Habits = Life

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

Love Wanted

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

The post Ask, And You Shall Receive appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

I was that mom who believed the professionals and thought medication was necessary to help him “be more normal”, but as he grew. I met more people and started to realize that what others define as “normal” wasn’t quite suitable for my household. The medications were abandoned, and I (with guidance) transformed who I was as a mother.

I then spent many years raising my trio based on gut instincts, except for a couple of years’ period where I felt some sort of spell was over me that caused me to think that the “love” of another person and their way of thinking was once again, what I should be doing.

Even though those ways felt wrong on some level, and my gut was to get out of this situation, I put that person’s feelings at some level higher than the importance of being a good Mom. I honestly only realized this later, as they say – hindsight is 20/20.

All of this to say that I believe we can heal ANYTHING with a lifestyle change. Yup, you read that correctly! I absolutely believe we can heal anything with a lifestyle change.

I believe it will be harder for some people to swallow that belief system than others, and that is okay. I am not here to say your belief system or choices are wrong; I am merely sharing to invite you to a new way to think about your habits, life choices, and current “illnesses”.

This includes mental and physical “illness”.

Do you feel like your prescription medications are truly helping you? I know that most people who pop a supplement, allergy medication, or even prescription medications often still have some level of symptoms from said “illness”, yet they continue to pop that medication or supplement.

They don’t consider pausing to see if this medication or supplement hasn’t changed the symptoms fully. What is it that I can do beyond this choice? Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe doctors can be rather helpful, but only when they are open to creative options beyond “just popping a pill”.

I’ve been blessed to know quite a few awesome doctors who do respect my belief system of wishing to work harder on habit changes before even considering popping a pill for anything. I believe you can transform your entire body, and it will heal itself over time, if you:

• Believe that your body was made to heal itself.
• Make one change at a time.
• Focus on both mindset changes, habitual thinking pattern changes, and eating behaviors, as well as physical activity levels.
• Be mindful of what you consume that can shift you out of that mission to think, feel, live, and eat better.

I have known people who will show me that they’re on medications for one illness, and then a line up of other medications for the side effects of another medication, and yet they don’t even think to pause for a different option to come to them.

They think that this is the only way, and it breaks my heart to know they truly feel this way. There are options for each of us, but the key is to slowly change.

A complete shock to your mind and body is not the path to healing! One tiny change at a time, at the capacity that you can handle, is how you teach your body to heal itself through the rebuilding of trust in your mind, body, and spirit.

The thing is, why is it that some people, maybe even YOU, are okay with taking some pill for healing of this, that, or the other thing and taking more for the side effects that arrive from this, that, or hte other thing yet you don’t consider the ultra processed, fake, dyed foods you eat as possibly being any part of the creation of your illnesses?

Why?

What is it that makes YOU think that we must pop some sort of supplement or medication prescribed by a doctor or advised by a doctor instead of adjusting our diet towards more natural foods?

I can honestly say that it was my kids who helped me get to this questionable point. From my experiences with my firstborn looking drugged up on cough medications at her Dad’s house to the middle who “lost his spirit” during the times I opted to try prescription medication to the younger kiddo who studied to become a boxer, thus learning more about foods with his brother, and every experience in between that hepled me have an awakening to how upside down our Western Culture is.

We are a culture built on consumerism. I mean, being a consumer is not awful, but consuming things or foods that are better for our growth is what we should pay attention to. We can shift our addiction of consumption to consumer heart-healthy foods, healthy physical activities, and confident thought patterns.

In raising kids to question things, because they forced me to question things, I started what I now realize was/is my own spiritual journey. I started with the habit change of quitting smoking as shared in my Habits = Life book. From there, I branched out to use the same method to transform my life.

From physical activity to diet changes to mindset shifts, all with some training with others, including my sons and sometimes my daughter, I became a new person. I became lighter, and I mostly trusted my guidance from Source.

You too can become lighter. You, too, can heal your body again. You too can feel less anxiety. You too can eat better. You don’t have to pay for or have others pay for the synthetic medications or supplements you think you must consume to heal.

You can become a new person, and you can train your body and mind to be healed without overwhelming yourself. I know the trick, I know the pace, or so I can help you understand your pace, and provide the guidance and love I had from others in my lifetime, so you can wake up one day, look back, and realize that the seed planted today has sprouted into a completely new person!

Please do not read this and think you must immediately toss the medications or supplements in the trash. I am not a doctor. I do not know your specific situation. I am merely sharing a story and guidance from my life to help you pause and consider a new path (if you’re open to trying it, and clear to try it at a pace and level that is safe for you).

Clarity & Direction: A Focused Goal Mapping Session

Feeling stuck or unsure of your next step? Let’s break it down together! In this focused Goal Mapping Session, we’ll dive deep into one goal you have, why it matters, what’s holding you back, and how to make real progress.

$50.00

Shop now

Habits = Life

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

Love Wanted

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

The post You Become What You Believe to be True appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

You see, we are deeply connected at this spiritual level where we can feel each other’s sorrow, happiness, pain, and such. It is quite magical and rather powerful. The issue for me is that I can feel so much of it that when he is away from me, it is almost as though I can tell when he is wrestling with something or doing something that is not aligning with the life he says he is living with me, or wishes to live with me.

At first, over time, I was open to the idea that this may be insecurities poking their ugly head out, and yes, some of these things are indeed that. Other times, it is not that, it is coming from my gut, and radiating up into my awareness that forms into a channeled message, as the one I will share below came during a moment of anxiety, and weakness in the knees that made no sense.

I was standing there, getting prepared for my day, and just had a good conversation over the phone with my fiancé. Why did I feel anxious in the next 10 minutes or so? Why did my body grow weaker, and my knees get so weak that I had to sit down in moments after our good chat?

There was no reason for this. I had no negative or insecure thoughts. In fact, I felt rather content, and perhaps a little happy with smiles, because I got to hear his voice and feel his relief over the phone about his cat being okay.

Yet, I felt it.

The anxious stomach, weakness, and sorrow.

And then the message … that channeled through me to him:

I don’t even know what this message means, or what is happening in his life, or those reading the above today, but what I can say is that I’ve been reset in some ways. I had an experience yesterday that came out of nowhere, that made me realize that no matter what insecurities, darkness, or anxiety come, or the gut instincts that tell me something is off somewhere, I will choose to show up in love, kindness, and grace.

I will work on healing that mother wound, I feel is there, and is not totally about my own mother, but a deeper spiritual mother wound that many of us have. Society tells us to focus on this father wound. That a woman who keeps dating the chaos that her father was is said to have “daddy issues”, or the woman who stays in an abusive relationship, is said to stay there because of “daddy issues”.

But we do a crappy job of discussing our mother wound. The wound of a mother is so deep that we show up in a more protective, insecure mode to those we love. That we show up in judgment, when only God can truly judge another. Only God knows the choices you make in the darkness, and that is something I began to wrestle with as I ventured into my spiritual growth journey 2-3 years ago.

I know rather well the difference within me that is insecurities poking up, or a true nudge from Spirit, saying to take caution. It is not something I can explain fully to someone else, although I recently tried. The difference is that often, a gut instinct comes with some sort of channeled style messaging that helps the situation and brings me back to a space of trust.

Trust in the process.

Trust in God.

Insecure thoughts tend to have forced messages, with little to no feeling behind them. These messages are not coming from something deeper inside of me; they are more forced and oftentimes colder in nature.

The shift that occurred in me the other day is the space I choose to reside in; a space of love, grace, and kindness.

I choose to be understanding, even when it hurts, and I choose to be loving because I want to be the same grace and love that I felt I didn’t have at times in my younger years. When I give those I truly love grace and room to be better/choose better with the awareness that I won’t abandon them, I am working with Christ to show up as He did for others, and to be the true light for someone else to trust their journey.

Let us pause, and take prayer to have more grace for those we truly love, and to pause before we cast judgment or anger onto another soul; for we are all connected, and not a one of us knows what we are doing in the moments of anger and betrayal – the aftermath of sorrow and destruction, or joy and love says it all.

You can become new today. Just make a choice. Choose to cut the bonds that tied/tie you to immoral ground.

Habits = Life

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

Love Wanted

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

The post Choose New and Become Better appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

Absolutely not.

We are a spirit living in a human body, having a human experience. Human beings are walking contradictions. To always be non-paradoxical is to try to achieve an unattainable goal. You will merely drive yourself insane attempting to be in control of your emotions at all times or attempting to be more consistent in what you say and do.

I believe actions speak louder than words, and while I mostly believe that to be true, I also have come to realize that human beings get tired, get emotional, and get stressed the F out. Human beings are not able to be fully consistent at all times in every situation or every season in life.

It is not possible.

That brings me to the topic of my writing today … right before I sat down to write this, a male cardinal bird stopped by the feeders, encouraging me to pause, reflect upon my behavior of late, and remember that I am not who my hormones make me to be.

What about hormone changes with age?!

This part of the human experience is uncontrollable, and with many women, it is extremely difficult to deal with if you’re a man who has no emotional awareness. Heck, it is even hard for men who understand the shift! While I believe men and women are all out of whack in Western Societies today, our balance of masculine and feminine energies is slowly coming into alignment. There are people in marriages out there who are trying to balance.

The man is adjusting to being who he must be, trusting that his wife will stay with him through this challenge. The woman is starting to trust that she can be who she is meant to be, trusting that her husband will stay with her through this challenge.

Men and women experience a variety of hormonal changes in their lifetime. We seem to accept those changes in society when men and women are younger. We will say that they are going through puberty, roll our eyes, and carry on with our day.

When we are older, and our hormones start to shift, many walk away from us. We lose friends. We lose connection with beloved family members. We may even lose our marriage.

All because of a hormonal shift that so few discuss.

Now, I am not saying that these emotional outbursts, or cries of frustration due to hormonal shifts, make the lack of self-control acceptable. No one should have to go through these shifts that seem so unreasonable and heartbreaking.

What I am saying is that, if we can become aware of our partner and how they are shifting in life. Be it a parent who is experiencing empty nest for the first time, a woman being in menopause, or that peri-menopause phase so many mention; if you can become aware of what your wife is going through, and try to approach it from a firm space of love, Faith, and committment to your sacrad connection … you might get through to the other side!

I’ve been using an app, and no, this is not a post sponsored by the app! I want to share a way for married couples to learn more about the wife’s cycles in the relationship. This app is called Lively, and it is ranked pretty highly to help younger women track their cycles for better pregnancy rates or to reduce the risk of pregnancy. It tells you when you’re ovulating, and how many days until the next period, and so much more!

You can insert symptoms you have day to day, so that when you’re starting to feel a little out of control, you can have some data to prove that this is just a pattern of a monthly cycle with your hormones more so than anything based in reality. This has been somewhat helpful for me!

Although this is the hard part: one must believe during their heightened emotional state, the logical data from the app side, and that is proving more difficult than even I thought it would be. Basically, you must trust the data you inserted during that time of the month when emotions are running rampant.

I have started to put my data into this app over a year or so, and it has opened my eyes to how impossible I can be about 3-5 days before my period. Combine that with living in a situation where I actually have some deeply rooted feelings of connection, and it is a recipe for disaster when my hormones shift me into this state of feeling vulnerable.

You see, the experiences I have due to my own choices have taught me that you cannot trust human beings. To bring it back to the way I started this blog post, human beings are walking paradoxes. We’re not always consistent, and we make mistakes, hence why we go to confession to be right with God, in the Catholic tradition.

That said, I have not been to confession as I am still learning about this tradition of Catholicism. The point is that even Jesus taught us to be gracious and kind, for each of us is fighting battles we know not of. I know I see friends on Facebook quite often asking friends to pray for whatever is needed, and that God knows what is needed.

It is true.

God knows.

Whatever your belief system, I can tell you that, between my obsession with Quantum Physics, my beginning study of some religious practices, and Buddhism, I know we have a life force in us. In fact, my Master Reiki certification taught me about this life force and how to use it to help others become more aligned.

The thing is, I do not believe this life force is ALL ME. I believe that my “healing hands” are a talent that comes from God’s light within me. It is something He endowed me with, or blessed me with, if you will.

At the end of the day, God knows. God loves us. I firmly believe we are all created with a purpose, not everyone achieves their purpose fully, and that is okay. I feel that this journey of hormone changes is hard on me, but I also know, in my entire soul, that God put someone in my life who can love me through it. Just as he put me into this human man’s life at this phase in his life, for God knows I will love him through his challenges.

So, my friends, in all honesty, I wanted to share a piece of my heart with you today from a space of love, grace, and hope in the human race. I believe it is time for women everywhere to give themselves some grace. Between raising kids into adulthood and missing them terribly amid hormonal changes, it is no wonder we may go a bit coo-coo in our first phase of empty-nest life.

My Advice for Men Married to Women in this Season

Men, out there in the world, please hold on tight to your woman. She knows not what she does in these vulnerable times. My advice is to find a way to plead reasoning with her, hug her tightly, and be that firm but compassionate partner she needs during this time of the month when she literally is like a big baby.

Habits = Life

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

Love Wanted

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

The post Tracking Hormone Changes with Age appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞! Parking was simple enough, and since it was past the time for meter parking, we didn’t have to pay for parking. BONUS!

Walking into the basement of Thayer’s Inn to enter Sour’s Taverna, I was in awe of the space. The lighting is delightful, and the lamps on the table are touch lamps that go to a warm glow, a brighter white, and even a dull blue-ish light option.

I just couldn’t keep myself from touching the lamp to change the lighting over and over again. I am such a child sometimes. Life is short, have fun!

Grab this set of touch lamps for home – they are similar style lamps for home.

The seating is charming, and the bathroom is clean. The restaurant was mostly empty upon arrival, but quickly filled in with customers ready to get warm from the brutal winter cold outside.

I tried North Country Fire Starter Cider, and my boyfriend had Schilling Beer Co Jakobus -German Pils. The fire starter cider has a kick going down your throat I am not sure I will have cider too often. The Jakobus was tasty, and I always enjoy a good beverage from Schilling Beer Co. in the warmer season as we walk around Littleton, NH.

We went to Sour’s Taverna after the blessing of the throats at church, so I honestly wondered if the Fire Starter Cider was stinging down my throat because of that “blessing” experience.

It was not the blessing of the throat experience, after all.

It is a cider that has a haberno kick to it, and while I love a good spice, it was unexpected. This meant it took me a minute to realize that ‘fire starter’ must mean spicy. Reading online reviews of this cider, I can see that it was a kick of habernaro hitting my throat as I swallowed the cider down.

We chose the sharing of two tapas and one drink each. I learned a new word, “tapas”. The online definition of this word is: “small Spanish savory dishes, typically served with drinks at a bar.”

The duck fat fries and the lamb sliders caught our eye. A little side dish and a bit of meat. Sounded good to us.

The sliders are 2 on the plate, perfect for my small appetite (I eat like a bird sometimes, or so I’ve been told), and while the boyfriend has a larger appetite, we enjoyed sharing the duck fat fries (I assume this means they are cooked in duck fat) with a side of aioli and Heinz ketchup.

By the way, you can see a lot of gluten-free options on their menu for anyone who enjoys a restaurant that features options for gluten-free diets.

The aioli was decent, but I must have been favoring ketchup that night. I consumed a lot of the ketchup as opposed to my typical favorite, the garlic aioli sauce.

Moving on to those lamb slider tapas, oh my! I knew choosing these would be hit or miss for me as they have the tzatziki sauce on them (it is a sauce my taste buds do not seem to favor yet), but he likes it, so I thought, why not try!?

The lamb sliders at Sour’s Taverna are super cute! I couldn’t help but say that as our waitress set them on the table. Adorable little things, aren’t they?

The lamb was excellent, the lettuce was fabulous, but the spicy tzatziki is still not something that I enjoy, so I know next time I will try something without the tzatziki sauce on it. Although I did consume one lamb slider, the boyfriend happily consumed the other one.

The menu prices are comparable to other dining experiences in the area. I would love to try the scallops next time, if we venture here again. The scallops are listed on the menu with Melted leeks, celery root purée, preserved lemon breadcrumb! I must try them.

For those not interested in alcohol, they do have other beverage options. Not only that, but the waitress brings over a glass bottle of water with glasses of icy water when you are seated.

We truly enjoyed our experience at Sour’s Taverna. They are friendly with good lighting (not too bright, not too dark), and they have a small menu that does include some fun flavor combinations for this more sheltered gal to try.

Habits = Life

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

Love Wanted

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

The post Sour’s Taverna in Thayer’s Inn, Littleton, NH appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

I had to ask myself, “Why am I reluctant to go to a Catholic Mass, when I was not reluctant to go to a different Christian church?” It was in this question that the answer arose;

The world I have lived in shared a limited belief system with me that made me think negatively, or at least skeptically, about the Catholic church, mainly the Vatican. I am not going to say whether or not those stories are true or false.

I live in a world where I believe one such as myself may never know the full stories, all I can do is create new opinions (or hold onto old belief systems) based on the real-life experiences of my current life season.

Much like the season when I made 6 figures as a freelance writer, and that went away within the next year, I realized that the limited beliefs I held on various subjects hold me back from growth & connection.

The word I chose for 2026 is TRUST, and the topic I seemed to be most passionate about in gaining that TRUST within myself is CONNECTION.

So, if I am on a mission to use TRUST as my guiding word of 2026, and feeling drawn towards focusing on connections, then saying yes to attending a Catholic Mass aligns with the mission I am on in this season of life, right?!

Here’s a hint – the answer is RIGHT, correct! Let’s do this.

And so I venture into my first Catholic Mass. My first experience was interesting to say the least. I will forewarn you that I am uneducated in the means of religion, so the terminology may be incorrect for those who are well versed in the topic.

Please read with an open mind and heart.

That said, my first experience was in a beautiful church, as I do feel most Catholic churches are goregous anyways. That said, it was difficult to understand the priest in this church. He spoke with much enthusiasum and the tone of his voice made me realize that he has joy in his heart. I appreciated the sermon and enjoyed experiencing the traditions of the Catholic Mass.

You have a kneeling board that comes out in the seating area. Is that the pews? Yes, I believe pews is the correct word. Within this church (the Catholic churches), you will find the pews have a kneeling board that you can put down to keep your knees a bit more comfortable, as the mass is full of sitting, standing, kneeling, and repeating this process throughout the entirety of the sermon.

I felt like I was in a traditional space that clearly has a ritual feel to it. I left that first experience still feeling as though this is a cult-like behavior (forgive the term for those who are religious; I mean no harm, we all go through our process of evaluating experiences). I first felt like everyone was chanting the same words/verses together in some sort of brainwashed experience (just being honest).

That was my first experience. I shared it freely and kept my heart and mind open to being wrong about my assumption of this practice.

Fast forward to another opportunity to attend a Catholic Mass. I suppose we attended a weeknight mass this time, to get a new feel about the church that we were considering attending regularly. This was a better overall vibe for me – I did not leave feeling the same as above. I felt as though there was something special here, a prayer in group format for the world, and that does hold power!

I believe when we pray or chant affirmations/manifestation wishes to the world in unison, that our power of prayer/wishful thinking does hold weight and can make changes within humanity and the world.

I still felt that I was spending far too much focus on trying to understand or hear the priest during this mass. We left, realizing that there must be another way to experience Catholic Mass. We were/are on a journey to find a church that hit something within us that told us, “This is the church we shall align with”, and yet we kept coming up with a loss.

The inability to understand or hear the priest. Then there was the vibe; not awful, not great, just not quite right for us. It was difficult to put into words why this church didn’t feel like “the one” for me, but it simply was not giving me those warm fuzzies or intuitive guidance that this is the right space to attend mass regularly.

So we opted to attend a different church’s mass, and that is an hour drive (they say 30 plus minutes, but I feel it’s more like 45 minutes of a drive in this winter weather). That said, this church spoke to us.

Oh my, Heavens!

The priest, or whatever his proper term is, spoke to us in a way that drew tears nearly at the same time (we discussed this later). We felt almost immediately after, “This is our church”. That being said, I felt a bit more uncomfortable here in this church, interestingly enough! The church I felt “this is the right one” was the most uncomfortable experience of all thus far … how odd is that?!

The communion part, where everyone leaves the pews in a specific order to get the communion or be blessed (you can cross your arms if you are not in communion with the Catholic church to receive a blessing). I did not go up yet again. A third time or perhaps fourth time at a Catholic Mass, and even though this priest spoke to my heart in some way, I still was not comfortable with walking up front to cross my arms and be blessed.

I was still fearing that “all eyes were on me” (even though no eyes were on me), and so my heart got a flighty feeling of anxiety, and I wanted to BOLT out of there.

Ah-ha! A new shadow pattern I had come up during this season – a bolty Brandy appears when things get uncomfortable. More on that in another blog post …

I did not bolt, as that would be far worse in this public setting of a Catholic Mass than simply sitting put and being comfortable in this choice.

I will say that during this mass, I left feeling less “cult-like” opinions about the church, and more like this is love and kindness. That the church’s message is less about “you have to do this or that or go to hell” and more of “Let us be love and let us live as Christ lived through our life choices and actions”.

That, right there – that last thing – “Showing people the light of Jesus/God through our ACTIONS and LIVING” – that aligns!

We found our church.

My heart opened.

I, without realizing, shed that thought about cult-like experiences or visions within this church system, and allowed what I experienced in real life to dictate how I felt about the Catholic Church (or so the local ones I have personally experienced).

In that moment, hearing the priest speak as though I was speaking (his personal side of the sermon resonated so much with the questions I have about Catholicism), I found a new awareness of what the local churches seem to spread in this world; prayer for all the wounded, sick, and those needing of our love and prayers. Smiles, and the connection between church goers, even to someone like me who shows up with bed head pulled up, not so fancy clothing, and more.

I noticed people from all walks of life inside those church walls, and during the most recent experience of The Feast of the Presentation of Christ in the Temple, my heart grew even lighter. The flickering lights in the back room showed me that Spirit is here with me, telling me this is the right way, this is right where I belong right now.

I remain open and continue learning, but I will say that there is zero harm to my Spirit happening as I attend the local church that I feel may be the right fit as I journey into a new path of figuring out how to get closer to God, on a mission to be a better person to all who live on this Earth today.

I wish to continue being who I am, the person who listens to strangers as if she knows them, who does not judge another person’s path, and who shows up as her best imperfect self in love and light. The only change I wish for this church season of my life to do is to help lighten my heart from the guilt, burdens, or shame I still hold onto from the old life experiences of shadows I once held tightly to.

We are good. We are loved. We can show up in love and light regardless of how others choose to show up. Much love to you and everyone out there who needs a little light shed on them today.

The post Old Beliefs Falter with New Experiences appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

I cannot help but think about how time has marched on, as I face the season of not having my kids with me each moment. I don’t know who I am today. I don’t know who I will become. All I know is that I do not know these things, but I am alive.

I am here living and breathing, which means I must have more to do and more to grow into.

Everything changes.

If you’re blessed enough to continue living today, then there is more that you can do in this lifetime, but who are you today?

I knew who I was while raising kids! They were and are the best parts of my lifetime thus far. I loved being a Mom. The duty of raising my Trio (3 kids) in the manner that I grew into raising them, constantly adjusting to their needs, and trying to figure out the best approach to each new season in their lives, was my hardest and most rewarding job ever.

And I love working!

I knew that the empty nest season would arrive, but I never imagined I would be living two hours away from the trio during that stage of life. I sit here in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, struggling with the feelings of missing my kids.

I miss them terribly.

The emotions are so strong. They are quite a weight on me some days, and then other days I carry the lightness of logical thinking.

You know, that side of our human thoughts that reminds us that it is the kids’ time to live their adult life, and that we can live our adult life as we see fit, whilst still being there for our adult kids from a distance.

Being too involved in their adult path will pause their growth process, even if it is hard to step back, and let them be who they are, so they can experience their own trials and tribulations.

This is the part of life where we re-learn who we are after kids …

You are not even re-learning who you are. I think you are becoming a new version. Now that the Trio are adults, I am unpacking a lot of the versions of myself that had to be there to raise a child on the spectrum, among other challenges that arose. I had to adapt, adjust, and become a new version of myself to show up as the best possible option in each season of motherhood with my trio.

Through that process, I became someone different. I do not even remember the version of me I was before kids, well, I remember some drunk versions of me. That broken person who drank alcohol and thought love was physical attention. The side of me that kept me falling into relationship patterns that were with unavailable men, that not only hurt my soul, but caused me to show up less than my best as a Mama some seasons.

I am not that person any longer, the broken human that turns to alcohol and physical attention to numb the pain. I struggled with this often, and the temptation often arrives even today …

Now, I am still a bit broken or unhealed, as one could call it, but I feel our healing journey is a forever process. I can say that no matter how unhealed or sad I feel, I do not use the same coping mechanisms I once used in years past.

I am not only learning how time marched on in a way that changed me, but I am learning that there is such a thing as patient love. A love that seems to have the same peaceful, calming nature as I feel when I sit in church, connecting with Spirit inside the gorgeous walls of the various New Hampshire churches I’ve been inside since mid 2025.

I have started to, unwillingly or perhaps unknowingly at first, unpack some dark shadows that seemed to have been implanted during my childhood, and as I unpack these things, I start to recognize my own patterns, and I continue to pray that the light come into my heart and lessen the burden I carry of these past choices of others, and myself.

Time marches on!

Time will not pause for a single one of us!

This is not something to feel sad about.

This season of living far away from my kids, and the winter weather keeping me from driving down to visit as often as I wish to, is perhaps a mini-blessing in disguise. It requires the trio to figure things out without my interference. It requires me to face myself in the mirror, and give myself permission to love, to grow, and to build a new life that includes them in an adult version of their little selves.

This is the process of me learning how to Bliss it All in a way that rebuilds my love of family, ancestors, and God. I pray that this challenging season helps me learn who I am and who I want to be now that the kids are grown and don’t need so much of me.

I feel gratitude for the electronics that allow us to video chat, call each other, and text frequently. I feel gratitude for a love that is calm, peaceful, and unwavering, no matter how many times I push (although I know we all have limits, and so I pray for more personal growth in this area). I feel gratitude for the abundant blessings that I don’t even recognize sometimes.

I feel gratitude for the experience of having an empty nest season, for some parents never make it this far.

Perspective changes everything, even when time continues marching on.

Much love,

Brandy Ellen

The post The Paths we Travel appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

These were the moments that brought me to a space where I came to realize that I belong up here in the North Country. I belong living among the mountain views, and the connection that people have up here. Living in the North Country of New Hampshire, or even the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont, holds a special value to me; it is where I connect with people who still seem to have some of those old-school values of connection and trust.

Yet, here I am wondering if I can trust again, and what to do about my relationship currently. I still find something about the people up here being more connected than I’ve experienced in the area I grew up in and lived most of my life in.

There is a sense of magic up here; it truly is God Country up here.

My kids were 17, 19, and 23, the eldest still living down near my hometown in the season I spent in the North Country of New Hampshire. It was my first time living so far from my hometown area, and that far away from my first adult kid. The younger two lived up here for nearly a year before venturing back down to our hometown area with their Dad.

The separation had begun. Not only the relationship we were in that had drifted towards co-parenting, residing under the same roof a long while back, but the separation of a loving Mama and her younger two kids.

It was hard in some ways, but easy in other ways – to make that choice.

I knew in my entire being that I was meant to stay up here. I do not know what God has/had in plan for me, but I still know I belong up here. I also knew that my sons belonged back in their hometown area, closer to spaces that allowed them to work toward their goals in life in this season.

While spending all of that time barefoot walking and connecting with God through nature, I came to the conclusion that I was meant to be up here. There are things I am meant to do and experiences to have still up in God’s Country of New Hampshire and Vermont. I am where I am supposed to be.

That said, it never gets easier when I truly pause to think about missing out on things, but what am I really missing out on? I communicate with my kids regularly. The middle doesn’t text much, but if I touch base, he will give me an update. The youngest and I have our banter as we always have in the real world, just now it is on text or Discord. The oldest kiddo is 23 and has lived in their own life since age 18, so we are used to the distance sort of (it never gets easier in some ways, it just becomes a new normal) …

I raised my kids to be this way, to be comfortable venturing into their lives. I raised them to try to be confident in who they are and not be afraid to make choices. This is not to say I did all of the right things, or I handled every portion of parenting correctly; I did my best, as do we all.

I am confident that I did my best. I am confident that I had a lovely time raising these kids. I am confident that there were lessons wrapped in those seasons that made me stronger as a person and more open-hearted as a woman.

I love hearing about how my kids are experiencing their lives, even if sometimes I want to swoop in and protect them from some things; I know that my job as a Mama is done in the ways of the past, it is now a new season of being a Mama to adult kids, and for that opportunity, I am blessed.

Just think about the parents who passed away before their kids were grown, or who never will experience their grandkids, and so on. We must, and I must, remember our blessings in this lifetime, for even though I live 2 hours from all 3 of my adult kids, during the warmer seasons I can drive to them, or my daughter can drive her brothers up for a visit – we are not states away, nor are we cross-country from each other.

No matter what happens in this lifetime, there are far more difficult things we could be struggling with. Thank God, I have internet and a cell phone to communicate with these kids whenever they want to discuss the most random of things (or more serious things) with their Mama.

I prepared them and myself for this empty nest season; it was the whole purpose of being a Mama to help raise these kids to become who they are meant to be as they venture away from the shelter of a parent, and into the arms of this blessed world, where they will expand and flourish.

I am so grateful that I did what I did, that one day I woke up and realized what my true job as a mother was, and I embraced it the best I could, even if that meant living alone with my dog in a place I had only called “home” for a year.

This living alone with my dog in a new to me space was my original plan, but then God introduced me to my next journey …

The post Living Away from my Adult Kids appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.

Once upon a time in the year 2019, my family was faced with homelessness. While the summer before this summer of 2019, we had to live separately, we were not homeless, as the kids went to live with their Dads, and I had a room at my dad’s home.

All that said, the summer of 2019 proved to be my first time ever considering living in a tent with my three kids. At the time, they were pre-teens and teens, and I was very confident that my trio and I would be living in tents. I was so confident, in fact, that I told the ER triage nurse that it was my plan when he asked what I was going to do to handle the stress in my life that caused me to be at the ER that day with stroke-level blood pressure, but perfectly “fine” results with medical testing.

I remember him grinning at me, asking how old my kids were, and if I was planning to live in a circus-sized tent. I laughed, but he did not realize I was serious. The reality of my world at that time had become all too much to bear, but living another summer without my kids sounded much more painful than the concept of camping with the kids for a summer in New Hampshire until the stress reduced, and things settled into some form of normal for us again.

During the summer of 2019, my ex-husband (Dad to my 2 younger kiddos) was facing a similar situation. Due to his financial issues, he was looking at foreclosure and was uncertain where he was heading, and so together we opted to camp together. He asked if he could come along, and I thought why not?! We have always been decent to each other, and he probably is more equipped to live camping style than I was back then.

So the summer of 2019 was a wonderful season, although my firstborn ended up unable to camp and live homeless with us, they opted to return to stay with their Dad, but visiting when they could. It was hard, but they simply got too sick with camping so it was best for them to do this in that summer season.

One of the ways my sons’ Dad and I worked to make this homelessness season more fun than scary was to take adventures on the weekend. One such adventure led us to check out White River Inn and Suites in White River Junction, Vermont.

This was the place where my sons learned how to swim. This was the first place my sons and I had been upgraded to stay in a suite, rather than us sharing a 2 bed one-room hotel space between four of us. This was a space that quickly grew to be a family favorite pet friendly hotels white river junction vt during the 2019 homelessness season for the family. Although we did not have pets other than a hamster named Bear during the summer of 2019.

We had stayed here one weekend in a regular room, and it was decent. You get the free breakfast, which is among some of our favorite choices of all the White River Junction VT cheap accommodation options we opted to stay in during the 2019 summer season.

I do see that they are a pet friendly accomodation, but only for smaller dogs weighing under 50lbs. This carries a $25 per night fee, with a max of $100. They do not allow cats.

When we checked into the hotel, we would pull up into their free parking lot and go inside to provide our ID and name to get our hotel room keys. On one particular day, they upgraded us for some reason, perhaps they sensed we were homeless, as we had started to book hotel rooms here more frequently due to the ease of being homeless in a hotel room rather than multiple tents at a campground spot like Crowsnest in Newport, NH.

I was in shock, and so happy that they upgraded us. I was excited to let the boys know about this, and so we got our things ready from the car onto the cart, which you can get inside the hotel room lobby area.

These make it much easier to bring your clothing and bedding items up to the hotel room when you are traveling as a larger family of 2 pre-teens and 2 adults. We lived in our tents and vehicles, which means our entire life was mostly in the back of a van during the summer of 2019, with some stuff being inside the boys’ dad’s suburban as well.

You learn to pack things up tightly when living on the road like this. I am still grateful that our first homeless season was in the summer of 2019 in New Hampshire, for the winter season in this region of the world is not so forgiving.

I do try to find a silver lining in every situation I am in.

Once we got checked in, received our hotel room key, and ventured up the elevator to our room, we were greeted with a full kitchen space, a bedroom with 2 beds, and a pull-out sofa bed with living room space, along with a balcony to see the outside world from.

Not only that, but there was an office space in the corner for me to do my work from home, writing for bloggers and such. I believe this is my favorite spot for White River Junction VT cheap accommodation choices, as it has a spacious inside area, a lobby that you can go sit and relax in, a large breakfast buffet bar space, and the indoor pool really sold us on White River Inn and Suites White River Junction.

I do not recall the price point of this space back in the day, but at the time of sharing this information with you, I can see that booking a smaller room is about $105 per night, plus applicable fees and taxes.

I know that there were many family memories made her eduring our homeless season of 2019 with preteen boys, and I am forever grateful for having an indoor pool to swim in at the end of the night, it makes falling asleep easier, and to have shelter because we were homeless but the boys’ dad had a job and I had my online business to help us get what we needed, even if we didn’t have “extras” in that season of life.

Being homeless by choice, as a reset, so to speak, has been a blessing to my anxiety and my kids. They, especially the boys, have learned that you can survive nearly any crazy situation that the world will have you fear. Any experience that shows you that you can survive things that you once feared is a blessing in disguise.

So, if you are searching for White River Junction VT cheap accommodation or maybe you need pet-friendly hotels White River Junction VT, then maybe you should consider our previous favorite spot that gave us warmth, hospitality, and shelter during our season of homelessness in 2019.

To check out White River Inn and Suites’ current rates and available rooms or suites, click here.

Habits = Life

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

Love Wanted

Tanner, Brandy

Buy Now

The post White River Inn and Suites, Vermont appeared first on Brandy Ellen Writes.