If I wasn’t gay, I would have never steered off my corporate career path, I wouldn’t be cultivating this blog and I wouldn’t be connecting with you. I would have never realized my passion for equality, or used art as a means of self-expression. I’m so grateful for the gift that is my sexuality.

When it comes to being gay, I tend to see the glass half full (not surprisingly, I suppose). Even the most difficult struggles have made me all-the-wiser; I wouldn’t give them back for the world.

If I had to pick a favorite aspect of being gay, I think it would be this: That where there is great hardship and difficultly, there is a tremendous opportunity to be stronger than we could have ever imagined.

Of course, that I don’t have to eat pussy would be a close second.

But what about you? What is your favorite thing about being gay?

Today, Davey Wavey Fitness (yes, my brand-new fitness blog) hit an important milestone: 100,000 blog posts read! That’s no small feat, especially considering it has been just over four weeks since its launch in early August.

To celebrate this milestone, I’m giving away a free iPod touch (yes, the one pictured here) to one of the next 100 people to download any Davey Wavey Fitness program before midnight on Monday, September 13. All you have to do is download any of my fitness programs to be automatically entered for the 8GB iPod Touch pictured here.

Download any one of the following:

1. Total Body Assault. This program includes more than 160 minutes of muscle-shredding workout videos, including my famous 30-Minute ab workout, an e-book, a fitness journal and a whole slew of free bonuses. Learn more and watch a free preview or download now.
   
2. Underwear Yoga. You’re invited to strip down to you skivvies with me for two 20-minute muscle building and energy boosting yoga flows. This is not your mother’s yoga class. Comes with 2 e-books, a guided meditation, soundtrack and more! Learn more and watch a free preview or download now.
   
3. Eating for Fitness. Learn how to conquer nutrition, build muscle and fight fat using extensive expert guide. Learn more or download now.

Or, download all three programs (that’s over 200 minutes of video footage and tons of support materials) with one click and save 25%. Plus, in addition, if you download all three, you’ll get 5 chances to win the iPod touch instead of 3 if you purchased the programs separately.

Thank you for helping make Davey Wavey Fitness such a great success!

I peed in my pants and got goosebumps (simultaneously) when I read the following quote from a new favorite blog:

These are the options we’re given in life–to drown in our sorrow about what we can’t control, or soar in the possibilities of everything we can.

Has anything truer ever been written? I’d be hard-pressed to find it; this falls into the “secrets to life” category – right alongside anal douching.

Yesterday, I was talking to my boyfriend about his post-university options since he graduates in another year. There are a lot of decisions to be made. I said there are two ways to look at it: You can either be overwhelmed my the choices, paralyzed by indecision and entirely stressed-out, OR you can be excited by the opportunities that are unfolding – and to look at it all as one great adventure.

What to do after university is a huge life-altering decision. But so is what to do after dinner tonight. I mean, you could change the world between now and bedtime. The choice is always yours to drown or soar; It’s tempting to drown, but much more fulfilling to soar.

So the question remains: Are you opting for wings or a snorkel today?

All I will say is this: Watching that trailer made me very thankful that I don’t share their perspective on life. I’ll leave it at that.

Before the 1970s, gayness on television was unheard of; in a very real way, we’ve made a boat-load of progress. When I was growing up in the 90s, I seldom saw people like me on TV. In fact, I was 12 years old before I knew that other guys were also attracted to men – until then, I thought I was all alone in the world. Stereotypical or not, there’s something to be said for how far we’ve come.

Kurt, from Fox’s Glee, is certainly the most watched gay character in recent memory. But just like the boys of Will & Grace and Sex & The City, he’s white, flamboyant, catty, fashionable and fabulous. I’d love to see a greater balance and some of the more common stereotypes challenged on TV.

In short, I want to see a gay character that doesn’t fit a certain predictable mold on a mainstream show during prime time. Is that too much to ask?

The gay community isn’t one dimensional, and we homos are as diverse as the world in which we live. I’d love to see a broader, more inclusive spectrum of our gayness beamed into the TV sets of people across this country and around the world. Yes, our progress is truly astounding – but I think there are many barriers yet to be broken.

Have you seen any non-stereotypical gay characters on TV? If so, let us know in the comments below!

I like to think of myself as a cup.

Just a plain, simple mug that you might find at Crate & Barrel along with countless others of various sizes, shapes and colors.

The great thing about cups is that you can fill them up with things. And there are so many things from which to choose. I like to fill my cup up with love. Right up to the brim, sometimes spilling over.

With so much love in my cup, there’s no space left for anything else. If someone tries to give me a gift of their hate, anger or shame – well, I just don’t have any room for that in my cup.

And as my cup goes about its business, it likes to spill a little love into the other cups that it encounters, so long as those cups have some extra room and the desire. And all the while, I’ve noticed something very peculiar: The more love I give to others, the more I have left to give.

Click the “like” button below to share a little love with your friends on Facebook.

I like to save my favorite notes from the universe – one of which reads as follows:

Given another chance, [the billions of people that came before you would] take more risks. Not because they’d always succeed, but because from where they are now, the glory of knowing they at least tried, far exceeds any regrets of never knowing what might have been.

I made a university decision based on a boyfriend. I also invited a boyfriend to move across the country and live with me, after only spending a few weeks of actual face-time together. And soon, I’ll be leaving the comfort of a regular paycheck to follow my heart on nothing but a hope, a dream and a prayer. All of which are pretty stupid.

But I see it like the universe sees it: I don’t want to go through life wondering “what if.” If I fall on my face (which I often do), it’s not the end. I get up. And I’m wiser and stronger. If, on the other hand, I hold myself back from the many so-called stupid things, I may live a life steeped in regret and restrained from growth and evolution.

Yesterday, Will and I drove by his grandmother’s old house. His grandmother, like so may that lived through the great depression, was a tightwad. She was terrified of spending money – and so she deprived herself of much to hoard her savings. No trips, no impulsive buys or good food. Before moving into a nursing home, and after living a life of self-deprivation, she handed Will a check for $2,000 with one stipulation: That he uses the check for something entirely impractical. Maybe, at 80 years old, she finally realized there was something to be said for stupidity.

Today, I’m excited to invite you to experience Davey Wavey Chat. You’ll notice a new header at the top of the right-hand sidebar. See it right there? For the first time ever, you’re able to log into my blog and experience a Facebook-style chat bar along the bottom. And it’s all connected, from comments to chat – it’s all linked together.

I’ve experimented with a chat room on my blog before – but the previous chat room was on a different page, and it wasn’t particularly streamlined. This new chat feature is different. It’s clean. It’s easy. And you don’t have to leave the blog’s content to experience it.

Here’s how you can be a part of Davey Wavey Chat:

1. Click register on the top of the right-hand sidebar.
2. Create and account.
3. Go back to my blog, www.breaktheillusion.com. You’ll notice a chat bar along the bottom.

That’s it! Just like Facebook, you can turn it off. And unlike Facebook, you can webcam through it! You can do all sorts of cool things with it – so give it a try and let me know what you think.

It’s still in its beta form, and so I’ll be making improvements to the process and experience. Your feedback is appreciated!

Enjoy!

Did you know that 1+1 does not always equal 2? In fact, at 34,000 feet while reading Biocentrism on yesterday’s flight, I learned that the ancient Greeks used language and logic to prove that 1+1=3. It turns out, it can also equal zero.

What’s all this about anyway? The above lapse in logic points to a very real truth: Our words have limitations. No one to date has yet to pen a complete definition for love. Go ahead and try. Your words can at best point the way – like a lighthouse trying to pierce a dense midnight fog with it’s candle-powered beam. But into the abyss the light fades, never reaching its target. Words are limited. Necessary and at times powerful – but limited.

When I look at the countenance of a stranger and see myself, I find it hard to describe that experience. The knowing that I have that we are all so deeply connected in a way that transcends the illusions of time and space is beyond my ability to describe with the 616,500 of words in the English language.

It’s like trying to bring down the sun with a slingshot.

Don’t get me wrong: It doesn’t mean I won’t try, but I almost certainly will never quite hit the mark when I try to explain how when I think of you, I know that we are one. So deeply connected. At best, different beats of the same heart.

Separation is indeed an illusion. But with words as my hammer, I’ll never break it.

Just as my mind starting drifting into the world of dreams and pure imagination, I was interrupted by an announcement from a female voice:

The plane’s captain would like to welcome our passengers. We’ll be leaving the gate in just a few minutes – the weather in Cleveland is…

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I had a momentary pang of panic. A female captain?! I quickly reassured myself with logic – but if you had given me the choice of a male or female pilot, I would opt for the former. I say “had” as though I wouldn’t make that same choice right now – as horrible and as unjustified as it may be.

My point it this: It’s very easy to challenge the stereotypes of others. I can put together a blog post on the absurdity of the arguments against gay marriage. I can recount the terrible discrimination that I encountered at my Catholic university – or even the much more recent faggot name-calling that I experienced in New York City. It’s easy to write and think about all of that. What is much harder – but a million times more productive – is challenging the stereotypes that I hold and cultivate.

Like that a female pilot is any less qualified, or any less able to fly me safely to a destination. It turns out that the female announcer was the copilot. But I’m quite certain my safety wasn’t the result of the pilot’s penis.

It’s easy to call out others. It’s much harder to call out yourself.

Yesterday, though, the old lady in front of me couldn’t quite come to appreciate her unexpected delay. Watch the video below, via Davey Wavey Raw:

It was also the first time in many years that I sat through a Catholic mass, as the ceremony was held in a Providence, Rhode Island church. Though I was raised Catholic, the service really didn’t resonate with me and what I hold to be true. This really didn’t come as a surprise to me. It seems illogical to find any organized religion that would mirror my beliefs exactly. Instead, I find it much more advantageous to pursue my own path in the great Cathedral of this universe.

Unlike my father, I don’t hold a grudge against the Catholic Church. I challenge myself to find those kernels of truth and love buried in Catholic teachings, just as I’d do with any other religion. My dad – not so much. Years ago, back when I was in university, the Catholic Church’s pedophilia scandal was in the spotlight. Countless allegations were flying – and the Church needed to announce some plan to eliminate the pedophile priests. Their plan was a gay “witch hunt” of sorts, interviewing priests-t0-be (i.e., the seminarians) to identify and eliminate the gay ones.

Church leaders are not stupid. They knew what they were doing. Society has long-since linked gay men to pedophilia, a stereotype that social science has entirely disproved. Nonetheless, the Church used this stereotype to their advantage by throwing gay men under the bus (ironically, so many Church leaders are gay themselves); I don’t think my dad will ever forgive the Church.

I don’t have enough time, energy or desire to sustain such grudges, but I do understand my dad’s discomfort. I find much greater power in growing that which I do support rather than resisting that which I do not. I’m not anti-Catholic so much as I am pro-love, pro-peace and pro-unity. And pro-dick, too.

In a world that is suffering the effects of overpopulation, it seems a bit ridiculous to allow marriages that almost always end up in the creation of offspring. Case in point: Emily’s husband is one of twelve children. There are already too many people in the world and too many mouths to feed – why go out of our way to invite more? And yes, gay people have children, too – but unlike straights, ours aren’t the result of having a bit too much to drink or a broken condom.

Moreover, have you ever watched a man and woman try to communicate? Men and women are raised in a very gendered world. We treat young boys differently than girls, and thus set our genders on very separate and distinct paths. How could we ever expect to mend these differences? It’s just unnatural for a man and woman to be together.

For me, the nail in the coffin is the disregard that straight people have for the institution of marriage itself. They’ve made a joke out of it. Just look at all the Vegas weddings with costumes and ridiculousness – or even more sobering, the astonishing divorce rate (somewhere around 50%). Clearly, straight people are unable to take marriage seriously.

And that’s why I don’t believe in straight marriage. Marriage should be reserved for gay people, just as God intended it in all her infinite wisdom.

(You know I’m joking, right? Just checking…)

As I bid farewell to the treehouse this morning (and the only 6 people within 40 miles on Grindr), the New Hampshire sky cried to see me go. Massachusetts had to get in on the action, too; heavy downpours made the state’s highways nearly impassible. Or maybe they were tears of joy and excitement as I open a new chapter in my life’s galactic adventures. Or else, it could just have been a coincidental passing rain shower.

Tears of joy or sadness, I was happy to be on my way. My batteries feel charged – fully charged – for the first time in a long time. And even with a lot on my plate, like my new fitness blog, and still a tight work schedule (though I’m leaving my “real” job soon, they’ve yet to give me an exit date), I feel like I have the energy to conquer the universe. Or maybe knit the world’s largest ball of yarn. Or at least make a talky blog about anal douching – yup, that one’s coming tomorrow.

With a nod to author James Baldwin, I met a lot of great people in New Hampshire. I even encountered myself. And as the tradition goes, I’m supposed to create a list of things that I learned on this most recent trip of mine. I’ll keep my list short, sweet and concise:

1. I learned that farm boys are pretty much the sexiest thing I’ve ever beheld. Like, seriously.
2. I was reminded that one of my goals needs to be moving in with the boyfriend; saying goodbye nearly broke my heart. He’s like a pair of glasses. Yeah, I can’t get along well enough with ‘em, but it sure does make the whole world a lot more enjoyable. That’s a limited analogy, but I think you know what I mean. I want to share as many moments with him as possible – and in a life as short as ours, each moment really counts.
3. I learned that the risk of missing out is almost always greater than the probability of our fears coming to fruition.

I should have applied lesson #3 to lesson #1, and said something to the beautiful farm boy at my gym and risked the hate crime.

So now I’m back at my parents’ home in Rhode Island for a few days to participate in my cousin’s wedding. Next week, I’m heading to Google’s Mountain View, CA headquarters to present at a conference. I’ve never been to the Googleplex, and I’m absolutely tickled pink and looking forward to the transcontinental trip. Then, I’ll be moving back into my Rhode Island condo… though, not for long. I’ve got a trick or two (no, not that kind of trick) up my sleeve.

In pre-modern times, antisexualism was usually expressed in religious terms, but it now also occurs as a secular social reform agenda. Most antisexual people believe that sexuality is a kind of addiction resulting in both physical and social effects, that it disrupts relationships, and causes people to lie and cheat to achieve the pleasure of sexual gratification.

Clearly, sex can become an addiction. I’ll bite. So, let me follow this same logic and apply it to the other potentially addictive areas of my life.

Alcohol and drugs can become addictive, but since I partake in neither, this is easy to check off the list. Food is also addictive, and to that end, I’m now a practicing antifoodist. Because food can become addictive, I’ve decided to live a life without it.

Pets can be addictive, too. Just ask Barbara and Robert Woodley of Sanford, North Carolia. Authorities discovered 300 shit-scented dogs living in the Woodley’s feces-infested home. So, I’m giving up my dog, Chipotle, to live a pet-free existence; I don’t want to end up like the Woodley’s.

The gym is out. The possibility of exercise addiction is all too real.

Of course, the books have to go, too. Bibiliomaniac Stephen Carrie Blumberg raided the archives of 185 North American universities. When the feds finally honed in on Blumberg’s home in Ottumwa, Iowa, they discovered 28,000 stolen books and manuscripts that he had been hoarding. Goodbye, Deepak and Wayne Dyer! No more reading for this antibibliosist.

But wait! Hark! Here’s an idea: Maybe living an addiction-free life isn’t about riding yourself of anything that could cause addiction. Because pretty much ANYTHING can be addictive. Even drinking water (yup, aquaholics anonymous). Maybe it’s about being responsible and reasonable, and striking a balance of enjoyment without becoming dependent. Certainly you can enjoy a glass of wine without becoming an alcoholic, or eat a cheeseburger without reaching for 10 more. Maybe it’s about balance.

And if your enjoyment of pets, books or sex does lead to a true addiction – maybe it’s about seeking out professional help to set you back on the straight and narrow.

At any rate, I don’t think the risk of becoming addicted to something (drugs excluded, wherein the risk is often a certainty) is reason to withdraw from some of life’s most wonderful treasures. Sex included.

Speaking of fortune cookies, I thought it would be fun to make a few imaginary ones of my own on this beautiful Sunday morning:

1. Life is only as boring as you are.
2. Better to shoot for stars and land on moon than shoot for mountain and reach it.
3. To find yourself: Get lost.
4. Like flies to poop, people are drawn to your smile.
5. Everything is better naked.
6. Wear lots of purple.
7. Insulting others says little about them. Lots about you.
8. You are da shit.
9. The blame game has no winners.
10. When you are 80 years old, your job won’t hold your hand.
11. You will be happy when you stop telling yourself, “I’ll be happy when…”
12. He who defends himself has no time left to live.

Little-known Davey Wavey fact: Whenever I’m in Chinatown, I always buy a bag of miscellaneous fortune cookies. I try to eat a fortune cookie every day!

What thought would you like to stick inside a fortune cookie? Share it in the comments below!

I’m the only person in the entire world that hasn’t yet read Eat. Pray. Love., the book and now movie-gasm sweeping the nation. Being in the treehouse on a soul-finding adventure in New Hampshire’s largely untouched forests, I feel like I should be writing my own book: Eat. Blog. Be Naked.

Though we’re unlikely to see much nipple-slippage from Julia Roberts (who plays the main character, Liz Gilbert, in the new newly released movie), my book-to-movie version might be a little more revealing. For whatever reasons, something about nature inspires me to be naked.

Maybe being surrounded by so many trees has resonated with my primordial instincts. None of the creatures in my immediate environment are adorned with shirts or pants – and their nakedness strikes a chord with me. Maybe I too feel the call of the wild.

Or maybe I’m just an exhibitionist, and with so much seclusion, I can display myself without much risk. No judgment here; the trees are unmoved and the nature is generally un-phased. In the wild, the entanglement of nudity and sex is effortlessly un-spun. And few things are as pleasurable as letting the summer breeze tickle my testes.

Truth be told, I’ve never really been shy to let it all hang out – but I can’t help but think this is the way it was intended to be.

I’m currently plowing my way through three really great books: Your Erroneous Zones, Biocentrism – and a blog buddy recommendation, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart. Most of us can relate to the premise of being “too soon old” and “too late smart”. Even looking back on my relatively short life, there are a number of things I know now that would have come in handy when I was younger.

Since it’s impractical to turn back the imagined hands of time (yes, time is an illusion), the best we can do is hope to impart our wisdom on others. We can scatter seeds of truth and hope they grow – an exercise done, perhaps, in vain as so many of us need to learn the hard way.

Nonetheless, with my parents visiting the treehouse for the weekend, I took advantage of their presence by asking them, “What wisdom would you like to share with the younger generations?” My mom was quick to remind me that her book would be more appropriately titled, Too Soon Fat, Too Late Sober. New title aside, her truth is as follows: Take risks and step outside your comfort zone. She learned this because she took very few with her own life. She’s very comfortable, but in a way that stunted her potential. And if she were doing things all over again, she wishes that she would have spread her wings and flown a little more – and a little higher.

My dad, after a few moments of thinking, reflected that each and every day is very important. When you’re young, you feel like you’ll live for ever – the days just keep coming. But when you’re older, you soon realize that the end is, in fact, quite near and fast approaching. “So long as the sun rises,” he said, “it is a good day.”

Words to live by.

What kernel of wisdom would you like to share with the generations after you? Share it in the comments below!

Enjoy:

ION: Why did you start BreakTheIllusion.com?

Davey Wavey: BreakTheIllusion.com is my blog; I initially started it as an online journal with no expectations of anyone following along. I thought it would be cool to look back in 10 or 20 years and see some of my adventures and reflect on things. It was intended to be a private diary of sorts – but of course, all of that changed.

ION: What advice would you like to give to GLBT people – young and old – today?

DW: I’d give GLBT people the same advice that I’d give anyone else: find a way to align your unique talents with an unmet need in the world and the rest is cake. Well, maybe not cake, but definitely much more purposeful and fulfilling.

ION: You’ve filmed over 300 of your “Talky Blogs.” What inspires you on a daily basis?

DW: All of my ideas come from the people and experiences in my life. Conversations in the dog park. Phone calls with friends. Adventures from traveling. It’s a well of inspiration that never seems to run dry. I’m never really a man of many words, and one would think that there can’t be much more to say with 300 talky blogs under my belt. But I’m just getting started. There’s a lot still to be said!

ION: Name five things you couldn’t live without.

DW: Food – ice cream more specifically. Not to sound stereotypical, but the gym. An internet connection. My boyfriend, in case he reads this. And the “double rainbow” video on YouTube. If you haven’t seen it, stop what you are doing right now and check it out. It will change your life!

ION: What is your favorite part about being Davey Wavey?

DW: Davey Wavey never has a bad day. It’s pretty amazing!

ION: Do you get recognized when you travel/go out? What’s it like?

DW: Yes – it’s strange and trippy. Some of the people that I meet have been reading my blogs or watching my videos for years. And so it’s like bumping into an old friend – but a friend that you’ve never met. The people that I’ve met have been really amazing and I’m grateful to them for following my adventures.

ION: This is our annual “Pets & People” issue of ION Arizona. You rescued your Greyhound, Chipotle. Tell us a little bit about your relationship with her.

DW: Well, I like to think that Chipotle rescued me. She’s such a wise soul and a great teacher – and she’s really enjoyed traveling with me. She’s always challenging me to enjoy the simple things in life and that there’s nothing wrong with sticking your face in someone else’s ass.

ION: You seem pretty perfect to us! But what’s your worst trait or habit?

DW: I’m just as perfect as the next person! I probably spend a bit too much time on the computer – and I really need to ease up on the tweeting. I’m also a bit of voyeur and definitely a whole bunch too curious for my own good. I have a hard time passing an open window without taking a peek.

ION: Did you ever meet the cute, masturbating neighbor you obsessed about in your Talky Blogs?

DW: Speaking of voyeurism! No, I never did meet him and I think it’s better that way. That was the whole fun of it – the excitement. The cat and mouse. Since we never met, the dream can live on!

ION: You’re so optimistic. Do you have any regrets?

DW: In my humble opinion, regrets are life experiences that weren’t fully realized. Having said that, I certainly had a lapse in judgment by attending an ultra-conservative university. But even then the discrimination that I encountered illuminated my passion for social justice. And that passion led me to accept my first real job at the GLBT parenting organization, Family Equality Council, where we did a lot of great and important work. So, it would be hard to regret it.

ION: What will Davey Wavey being doing in ten years?

DW: Oh Lordy, I don’t even know what I’m doing this afternoon. But wherever life takes me, I hope that I’ll have an open mind, a loving heart and a sense of adventure.

ION: Tell us something about Davey Wavey that nobody else knows.

DW: I don’t think people realize that it’s a full time job. It takes a lot of time and energy to film and edit two or three videos per week, write a blog post each day, answer e-mails, balance check books, run payroll, correspond with advertisers – it’s definitely a business! And it comes with a lot of responsibilities. It’s fun as shit – but it’s a lot of work.

ION: What can we do to make the world a better place on a daily basis?

DW: By loving yourself a little bit deeper. And then by seeing yourself in the world around you.

ION: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

DW: My superpower would be to leave people with a little more love than I found them.

My heart’s not broken. Just damaged, temporarily. It’s not anything too big to surmount. But nor is it too small to overlook.

Nearly seven weeks ago, my boyfriend traveled to NYC from his home in Canada to join me for my summer adventures. One of the best things about long distance relationships is that you really learn to appreciate – and not take for granted – your significant other. Of course, all of that changes when you actually are geographically together; it’s hard to live in a perpetual state of relationship gratitude, especially when you’re picking his dirty socks off the floor for the 94th time.

After New York, we traveled briefly to my parents’ home in Rhode Island – and then took off to the wilds of New Hampshire for my current adventure in the treehouse. But like all things with a beginning, our time together came to an end. On Sunday, I dropped him off at the bus station and he traveled on back to Toronto.

Truth be told, this was really our first time living together for such an extended period of time. It felt very different saying goodbye this time.

I was good, at first. But when I got back to the treehouse, I began to feel like an amputee after surgery. Many amputees report feeling “ghost” limbs after an arm or a leg is removed – as though it’s still there, but it’s not. With no disrespect to amputees, that’s almost how I felt at the treehouse. I expected to see him sitting on the bed, or up in the loft that he used as an office. I felt – and still feel – quite haunted by his absence.

I know I sound a bit dramatic, but it’s the way of the heart’s affairs. And sooner rather than later, I’ll move back to a place of gratitude wherein I’m thankful for being able to share my life with such a wonderful person. If geographic distance is our greatest obstacle, then we’re doing pretty well. I should be grateful for so many things: that we had a summer together; that it was amazing; that we connect so well; etc., etc. There are bigger things in the world on which to focus. Much greater challenges for myself and others to face and overcome. I’ll get there. Just not quite yet.

I miss him.