What the hell happened last week?  No new shows came out, and Brian spent some time with the New York Police Department, while Jake and Sean went to raves and watched people get painted at muscle beach.

This show is extra long, packed with all the recap stuff that would be completely invalid during a midweek show.   You won’t miss it, because you missed us.  There’s no way you can miss it.  It’s missless.

We will be back sometime this week.  Listen to this show.  It’s good.

Sven is here,  Jake is ruining Father’s Day by letting his child’s thumb dangle all over the place, and BK is ruining his Father’s Fathers’s Day by debating the merits of doing some “solo shows”.   The Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar takes a quick pass for the week, while we fill its place with something even more wtf-worthy, followed by international listener feedback.

BK is going out of town on a weeklong shoot, so there will be no midweek show, and no live shows until next week.  Until then, catch up on some of the back-episodes you missed in the past three years, and leave us a voicemail at 206-49-lolbk.

Sean,

So, you’re getting back soon?  I had to do a show with just Jake, and it was weird.  He totally wanted to talk smack about you, and open your mail, and root through your laundry and shit, but I was like “no, man, you can’t do that!”  but he was like “yeah, but I’m Jake Lloyd, and that’s how I do!” so he did.  Like, if your clothes smell weird or something, it’s because of him and not me.  Don’t hit me, please.

I don’t have a job anymore, so I was weeping in the shower and thinking that it would be nice to have a cat.  I know you said that it would be gay, but I disagree. @Roger Fingas said that the gayness would depend on the cat’s ability to “go out and kill things”, and @Richard Schmidt said that it would be totally straight if we don’t feed it.  I like that plan, because we get to save food, money and heterosexuality.

The show’s over an hour long, so it should get you halfway through the 20 mile drive from LAX.  When you listen you can learn how to pick up women, why our fan named Sam likes the show, and why Jake and I think Jim Carrey is totally legit.  The answer to one of these things is “grabbing titties”.

Anyway, come back soon.  There’s an idea for a Gatorade spec spot that I want to shoot.  Also, Jake keeps spraying some kind of fluid all over the furniture, and I do not know how to make him stop.

-bk

Actual email transcript:

Jake: Really?…. really……. ?  ((palmface))
BK: It’s “facepalm”.
Jake: good god you’re such an internet snob.
google “palmface” douchey mcdoucherston. works both ways, just like you.
BK: Whut.

Jake doesn’t get the internet.  Not like we do.  I had to get his facebook name url for him, while he was at some stupid Hollywood party. Pffft.

We will be live on Wednesday.  Call us: 206.49.lolbk

This show is very special.  Not only is it recorded on a Wednesday, but it’s being enjoyed in at least two completely separate decades.  Amazing.

Jake, Sean and BK go behind the scenes with Conan O’Brien, and give you some up to the minute updates on all that is super-secret (and down-low) in Hollywood.

See you Sunday.

Sometimes, it only takes a few seconds to completely and utterly change your life. Your everyday routine is shattered.  Black is white, up is down and short is long.  Really long. And girthy. Stupidly girthy.

When this happens, you can’t keep marching on as though  nothing has changed.  You can’t pretend that everything is normal, that there’s another page to turn and that the sun will rise again.  No.  Your universe has been broken by something unexpected and ridiculous, and you need to turn with the punch and adjust your course.  Suddenly, everything must change.

Jake is back in the studio, and we’re planning to come back again for a second show this week.  Listen up for a few listener challenges during this extra long episode, and take two seconds to pause your iPod and ring us up at 206.49.lolbk.  We would also be happy to take your money, which you can donate by clicking on any of the paypal buttons scattered about our site.

Jake is back, and he’s hell-bent on becoming “that guy” on Brianisinyou.

This week, we go a little bit meta.  We discuss our Memorial day failures,  Jake’s Hollywood success, and a new video project.  The Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar previews some questionable adaptations, and  listener feedback makes Brian (once again) question the inner-workings of his body.

Want to help the show?  We need money for some studio furniture.  Go to brianisinyou.net/podcast, and find a paypal button to throw us some funds.  We’d also love some verbal feedback.  You can leave that by calling 206.49.lolbk.

It’s my first day back from Houston, and I’m happy to have a show for you guys.  Sean and I are joined by former Nobody Likes Onions regular, Jake Lloyd.  We review his decision to move to LA, my budding comedy career, and Jake’s need to embrace the world of social networking.

We should be recording live this weekend.  Watch our twitters if you’d like to find out when.  We will be taking your feedback on this show, and Jake’s twitter name all week long.  Just call 206.49.lolbk, or email show@brianisinyou.net

Terrible things are happening in our sleepy apartment building, and we need to take action!  We need to take back our dwelling, and show the filthy solicitor that our community will not stand for this outrage.

Big thanks to the Un-Cab Lab for teaching me comedic things today.  Even if you’re not in the LA area, you can check out their blog and learn a thing or two about funny.

Help sean and I escape the feeling of shouting into a black hole by giving us some feedback. We appreciate every email, voicemail and forum post that comes in.  Even if you have nothing to say, give us a call and let it out -   show@brianisinyou.net / 206.49.lolbk

Sometimes, Sean and I just can’t get the salty taste of sad out of our mouths. Unfortunately, the forlorn flavor sprayed all over our microphones, through the tubes, and into your ears.

Join us as we mourn the death of Bea Arthur, discuss the Swine Flu outbreak, debate public firings/dumpings and arrange our final arrangements.

As always, we look forward to your feedback on this week’s topics.  You can call it in at 206.49.lolbk, or hit us up on twitter (@brianisinyou).  I will be weeping softly in the shower until I hear from you.

All when a night yuh feel like sunhot(When yuh come inna mi rampin shop)
mek sure yuh know fi wukk and a nuh chat yuh a chat(when yuh come inna mi rampin shop)
Mi cocky longer dan mi knife tell mi weh yuh like yuh waan mi drive or yuh waan fi ride it like a bike?
Well yuh affi ramm it hard di cocky nuffi lie,yuh damage it fi spite not because mi bussy tight
mi put it pon di left and yuh tekk it pon di right
mi nipple dem a rite send it up inna mi tripe
A titty appetite every nipple get a bite
mi man affi go see it mi an him affi go fight
Cocky nuh plaay(plaay) mi wi brukk yuh back(when yuh come inna mi rampin shop)
Mi wi quint it up two time and pop yuh cock(when yuh come inna mi rampin shop)
Mi wi mekk yuh run out a mi house inna half a frock(when yuh come inna mi rampin shop)
A gal eva ride pon it and gi yuh heart attack?(when yuh come inna mi rampin shop)

Starline is here.  Let’s talk about some islands.

Brian is back from Tampa, Sean is traveling to Trinidad, and we are tearing it up.

Join us as we discuss a brush with fame, recap an 18 hour podcast, and debate the significance of male genitalia.  As always, we want you to weigh in on the conversation.  Leave us a voicemail at 206.49.lolbk, or email show@brianisinyou.net.

There’s no telling when our next recording is going to take place, but we will be sure to let you know as soon as we know something.  Subscribe to our updates on twitter, and turn on SMS alerts to make sure you don’t miss a thing.

We love you guys, and want you to be happy.  Have a bonus show.  We cover Sean’s trip to Ultra in Miami, the bloody aftermath of the Blazing Shark’s visit, and enjoy some chats with old friends.

Don’t forget, I’ll be live with the Nobody Likes Onions guys for their marathon show, starting this Saturday.  If you want to hear several hours of me being cut down by professional comedians and teased about my weight, you’re going to want to be there.  Keep up to date on exact times and internet addresses via twitter.

The Blazing Shark is back, and she is ten minutes fresh from an encounter with a life-changing douchebag in a fedora. Sean is out of town, leaving me to go one-on-one with the shark for an hour of filthy, filthy filth.  We take tons of calls, read tons of feedback, and spend an inappropriate amount of time staring at the Brianisinyou Tittycam™.

No show is planned next week, as I’ll be in Tampa taking part in the Nobody Likes Onions marathon show.  That will be starting sometime on Saturday, and ending sometime on Sunday.  Keep an eye on the twitter, and I’ll let you know exactly where and when you can catch it.

We’d still love to hear your feedback for when Sean and I come back with episode 115.  Email us, tweet at us, or call us.  You know how to do it.  Be sure to tune in next Saturday for the marathon show, and don’t forget to have your pets spayed and neutered.

Update: You may notice that the vibe of this episode is a little bit less upbeat than usuaul.  Within 12 hours of this show’s recording, the Blazing Shark has closed up shop.  Her twitter is eradicated, and her blog has vanished from the interwebs.  Self-reflection can be funny like that.

After a week of envy for our SXSW brethren, we had a powerful hankering for some down home BBQ.  Our journey for the perfect pulled pork brought us to Bludso’s BBQ shack, a hole in the wall in the dead center of a horrible place where pregnant Chihuahuas roam the streets.  This place is Compton, and it’s a dangerous town for a Sunday drive.

This week, we recap our perilous journey through Lynwood and Southgate,  spend a bit of time on the “intellectually challenged”, unravel Hollywood’s newest secrets, and discuss your feedbacks.

If you have any contributions to add to this week’s discussion, call our voicemail line at 206.49.lolbk. We’d love to hear about your taco strategies, memories of your birth, and any other musings you’d like to share. If you’re too shy to talk, you can email some words to show@brianisinyou.net.

If you didn’t catch this show live, you missed out on something spectacular.

If you did hear this show live, you’re going to want to hear it again.  All three hours of episode 112 have been condensed into just over an hour of Brianisinyou-style goodtimes. We take calls from listeners around the world, explore our willingness to dress up as enormous animals, and open up old emotional wounds from the days that Brian was known as “dog treats”.

If you’re a producer, suit, or internet random asking “how do I make my video go viral”, I know you got here by google searching “make my video go viral” or “viral video help”. You really should listen to this podcast, and take notes on this week’s Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar.  We delve into some interesting job opportunities, Cheaters (with an extra sting) and the secrets behind MTV’s latest attempt at a viral stunt, and we think you have a lot to learn.

Sean and I respond to a lot of feedback this week, and we’d love to hear more.  You can call our voicemail line at 206.49.lolbk and leave a message anytime you want.  Let us know how you like your tacos.  You can also contact us via twitter (@brianisinyou) or email (show@brianisinyou.net).  We will be back next week to fulfill your wildest dreams.

It’s the Brianisinyou that will leave parents across the country reeling.  Do you know what your kids are doing on Skid Row?  Would you believe that they’re going to crazy dance music rave music parties with blinking lights, halfassed drug-use and communal rice-crispy treats?

How do you react?  Do you offer to smoke a coke-can bowl with them? Do you bastardize the beloved cartoon characters that they grew up with?  Do you shove your genitalia into a hole in the ground, in a desperate last-ditch attempt to prove your dominance?  It’s a tough call.

It’s a beautiful week, and things are looking good.  It doesn’t matter if Sean is having a rough time with his painted dog, or if the triplets didn’t show up, or if you’re terrified of your childerns. Shorties are in this season, the bumpers are hot and you have a brand new reason to say “thank you, Jesus”.

It’s the beginning of the month, so we really need you to help and vote.  Fortunately, you’re good people.  You already knew that.

Brianisinyou is all about character development, and this episode delivers it in spades.  Join Christina, Sean and Brian as they try desperately to diffuse a deluge of tumblrs and tech-talk with triplet techniques, and other sufficently badass topicals.

Set your calander to March first, when we will be live in the studio with the official Brianisinyou triplets.  Will the show be a trainwreck?  Will Brian and Sean engage in fisticuffs?  Will we have enormous nametags pinned to the girls’ shirts?  There’s only one way to find out.  Go to brianisinyou.net/live and sign up for our SMS list, or follow us on twitter.  We’ll let you guys know when we’re about to begin the recording.

Extra credit: Dinosaurs fucking robots.
Album Art photography from scenehater.

This show is blowing up!  It’s volcanic!  It’s got the gos!  It uses buzzwords that should be sarcastic but may not actually be sarcastic in the context of their usage!

This week, Sean and Brian take you on a journey through a low-speed Bently chase, an evening with the women of Penthouse, the perils of the year 2015, a career-crossroads and a quick lession in talking with a lisp.

Did a topic rub you the wrong way?  Do dogs actually have nests?  Is Brian a goddamn idiot for shaking up his job in the nation’s current financial crisis?  Let us know, we love to hear voices that aren’t our own.  The voicemail line is 206.49.lolbk, and our email address is show@brianisinyou.net.

We’ll be back with a live show next week, and we may be lining up some special guests for episode 110.  If you want to keep up to the minute on our show’s happeningses, follow @brianisinyou on the twitters.

We all deal with challenges in life, and we all need supporters to help us through them.

Where would you be as a cow, without a helpful farmboy helping you bring a shiny new calf into the world?  Where would you be as Gramma Nut without Queen Frostine helping you find all the double-purple cards?  Where would you be as a beloved podcast host ending the most powerful addiction of his life, without the support of his co-host?

You would be shattered.  A tarnished, shattered, tainted soul.

Join Christina, Sean and Brian through an hour of anger, bargaining, reflection and recovery.  This week’s show would be nothing without you as a supporter.

Don’t forget to send us some emails, leave us a voicemail (206.49.lolbk), and vote for us on Podcast Alley.

We love you.

We’re back with an all-new show, as Sean returns from selling his soul to the devil.

It’s thirty minutes after the Superbowl and it’s been three weeks since Sean and I have recorded a “normal” show.  We cover all the bases, from Superbowl production speculation, to the deepest secrets of the chosen people.  The Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar is back with three new shows, and a little bit of showtalk rounds everything out.

It’s a brand new month.  Go to brianisinyou.net/vote to vote for us on podcast alley, and go to brianisinyou.net/help to find all the other ways to help us out.  You can also contribute to the brand new Brianisinyou wiki at brianisinyou.net/wiki.

If you’re a new listener, please poke into our past podcasts a little bit before you enjoy this episode.  This one is for the fans.

Sean has been M.I.A. since Friday night.  Without him around it’s hard to record shows.  Thankfully, we’ve got some content in the bank.

This show contains six ’specially selected sexy segments, sifted from several sessions of recording.  You’ll be able to take a look behind the scenes of song selection, missing balls (yes), and supersecretdownlowhollywood secrets, including some inside info on the upcoming Arrested Development film.  The latter half of our show includes a second serving of Blazing Shark, and some alternative pornography.

After you’re done with the show, be sure to check out the brand new Brianisinyou Wiki, and subscribe to our twitter feed for future live recording announcements.

Brian and Sean are joined by celebrated Los Anglees sex-blogger (but not really a sex blogger), The Blazing Shark.  Together, we dive into the eternal mysteries of relationships, sex, and the inner-workings of Blazing Shark herself.

Come for the sex, and stay for the videogame testing, pox parties, dirty old men, and one listener’s journey from innocent young man to internet sex pervert.  It’s a filthy show, and you know you can’t wait to listen.

While you’re twitterstalking Blazing Shark, check out the feed for Brianisinyou, which provides alerts for live  shows and extra supplementary content.  If you’re here visiting from the Blazing Shark’s blog, subscribe to our iTunes feed, and check out our past shows.

This week’s cold open was provided by Mr. Chi-City.

The internet is leaking all over Sean and BK, and they kind of like it.  Be prepared for an hour of gratuitous tumblr party plugging, and pantless parkour pranks.

In an unprecedented move by this show, here’s some links to things we talk about:

Sean and BK’s tumblrs (you can also stalk Peter, Christina and Starline)
Brianisinyou on twitter (BK and Sean are there too)
No-Pants 2k9
Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar.com
Variety Jobs | Pot Washer
Electronic Cigarettes
Sean Smokes an e-Cigarette
Bigass sword
The Blazing Shark
A picture of Becky from Boston without a shirt
Help this show

Enjoy.

The studio is packed with estrogen, as we are joined by two lovely ladies from the East coast.  Starline from Miami, and Becky from Boston tell Sean and BK what’s up, in this first episode of 2009.  We cover holiday adventures, a real-life superhero, and some incredibly well thought out television concepts on the Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar.

If you would like to leave some listener feedback, give us a call at 206.49.lolbk.  You should also get out and vote for us during the month of January.   Show releases are back to their regular schedule.  Keep an eye on brianisinyou.net/live to find out when our next recording will take place.

It’s all about survival.  Don’t get kicked in the head, don’t get your neck broken, avoid the wall of death, don’t kill your verbs, and don’t commit comicide.  Sean and Brian stagedive into an in-depth discussion about first concerts, crowdsurfing, and surviving in a crowd.  Look forward to a SupersecretDownlowHollywoodFollowup, and listener feedback.

This is going to be our last recorded show of 2008, but a bonus episode might be released on Sunday the 28th.  Inspire us with podcast alley votes (as of this posting, we are number five in comedy, and number fourteen overall), feedback, and help.

This is our one hundredth episode ever.

This show isn’t for first time listeners.  It’s not even for second time listeners.  This show is for people who can remember the leather cheerios, the hooker ghost, the Fresca sponsorship, the porno convention, the wonderful things, the mixer in the sock drawer, the overnight edits, and the awful background music.  This episode is for the handful of you who heard the show evolve from a single mic and a laptop, to the Hollywood studio that Sean and I share today.

Thanks to the many guests, the co-hosts, the financial contributers, the content contributers, the promoters, the fans, and the listeners for three years of continued support.  Podcasts are the most interactive form of entertainment media out there, and you have shaped the show into what it is.  Here’s to another 100.

Nobody has any headroom.  Hollywood is running out of money, this show can’t afford hosting fees, and the dipshit on camera two is scalping the talent.

It’s our final show in the double digits, and we take it seriously.  Sean and I cover some very important topics over the span of seventy-five minutes.  Fat naked ladies are invading Los Angeles, the foul mouths of news producers are being exposed to the public, Uncle Jesse helps me hit a nerve with Sean’s empty, empty childhood, and my voiceover career is off to a ridiculously overproduced start.

Episode 100 is going to be great, but we need your help.  A lot of it.  Everybody reading this should leave us a message at 206-49-lolbk, and put us back where we belong on podcast alley.  We could also really use your financial assistance for hosting fees.  Throwing us a few bucks at brianisinyou.net/help means another year of free shows, without me selling my body to clinical trials.

Thank you very much for listening, the moment we have a solid date and time for the recording of episode 100, we’re going to plaster it all over our little corners of the internet.  Keep an eye on brianisinyou.net/live for details.

It’s a Thanksgiving day miracle (except for the parts with the perps and the puppy).

Join Brian and Sean as they sip Vodberries—made with with hobo-vodka—and prepare to collect large bags of food from a stranger on the internet.  It’s the feelgood show of 2008, with Thanksgiving day reflections, meme explorations, Christmas wishes and more sexy fruit.

It’s the beginning of December, and that means three things are about to happen:  Brian’s birthday, the show’s third birthday, and the 100th episode of Brianisinyou.  How do we celebrate?  What kind of crazy shit should happen? Leave a voicemail at 206.49.lolbk, or email show@brianisinyou.net.  To celebrate all these important occasions, we’d love to find ourselves in the overall top ten of podcast alley.  Make it happen by voting from every computer you can get your hands on, and telling your friends to do the same.

Thank you for listening.  Try to catch us live next week, for our 99th show ever.